Episode Transcript
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Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome to the Leader
Impact Podcast.
We are a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living this out.
We love talking with leaders,so if you have any questions,
comments or suggestions to makethe show even better, please let
(00:28):
us know.
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is through our
newsletter at leaderimpactca oron social at Leader Impact.
If you're listening fromoutside of Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpactcom.
I'm your host, lisa Peters, andour guest today is Jared Lacoste
.
Jared is a missionary local toRegina, saskatchewan.
He serves with Athletes inAction and is entering his ninth
(00:50):
year as chaplain with theSaskatchewan Rough Riders and
his third season with the ReginaPats.
Jared has a passion to helpathletes engage with their faith
while pursuing their respectivesports at the highest level.
Athletes engage with theirfaith while pursuing their
respective sports at the highestlevel.
Growing up in Estevan,saskatchewan, jared and his wife
(01:13):
Courtney have since made Reginahome in 2011, along with their
three children, brody, bostonand Owen.
Welcome to the show, jared.
Thank you very much for havingme.
Lisa.
Oh, you're welcome.
So your children, brody, bostonand Owen, were they named after
any athletes?
Just ask.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
No, they weren't, but
I am a Boston Bruin fan at
heart, so there may be aconnection there with my one son
.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
You got one out of
the three Good.
Well, it is very nice tofinally meet you in person.
Well, actually, just you knowonline, but thanks for joining
us today.
It is, it is great to meet youin person.
Well, actually, just you knowonline, but thanks for joining
us today.
It is, it is great to meet you.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
So we usually start
off the podcast.
We want to hear more about youand sort of how you got to where
you are today, and mostly wewant to hear about those pivotal
moments that were, you know,along your journey.
Pivotal moments happen, so we'dlove to hear more.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, I guess to
start off I'd probably say that
this was never something I waslooking for, that's not
something growing up that I eventhought was a possibility or
you know something to pursue.
But I grew up in a very typicalsouthern Saskatchewan household
where I think sport was kind ofat the forefront of my life and
(02:28):
my brother and my sister'slives, and so our family was
either found at the rink or atthe gym or somewhere doing some
sort of sport, and so sport hasalways kind of been the
undercurrent of our family.
In my own life and I think,like any young athlete, your,
your goal is to pursue it untilyou can anymore, and so I was no
different in that regard andactually had the chance to to go
(02:53):
, and I did my studying atBriarcrest College out in
Cairnport.
I had the chance to play hockeythere for four years as well,
and so sport was kind of the,the pursuit for the most part,
and never really thought thatthis area of chaplaincy one was
even a career choice or a paththat I could take or one that I
foresee myself eventuallystepping up into, and along the
(03:17):
way it just kind of, I think forme, fell into my lap in some
regards.
When my wife and I moved toRegina, I was working in a group
home with developmentallychallenged young adults and I
loved it.
I thought this was thedirection for me, and for me
there was just this reality oflike.
Meeting the basic needs ofpeople is something that I've
(03:38):
always really gravitated towards, and so to have an opportunity
to be a part of people's lives,where you know they, they need
you and they need your supportin order to just do day-to-day
things was, uh was somethingthat I ended up doing for five
or six years and it wassomething that I thought I could
really do for a long time.
(03:59):
And in the process of that, um,yeah, the chaplain who was with
the team with the riders at thetime was a family friend of ours
and he just reached out andsaid hey, I've got this one
player.
Have not been able to make anyrelationship or connection with
him.
Uh, he just got married, youjust got married.
You're both kind of in thatsame stage of life.
(04:20):
Would you take them all forcoffee?
And I always joke that that'sthe easiest way for me to say
yes to something is to attachcoffee to it and so we just
started building relationshipand friendship and it wasn't
necessarily for me like doingministry or do it like it was
mutually beneficial, I think formyself, just moving to Regina
(04:42):
and not having a ton ofrelationships of my own, having
the chance to just buildrelationship was for me kind of
the the end goal, and that'swhat it was.
His name was Kerry.
We became really close friendsand and that's that's how I saw
it was just a friendship.
And the following year he movedon.
Like in most CFLs people don'tstay very long.
(05:05):
They're kind of in and out andgone to the next team or done.
And so he moved on and hephoned me one day and he said
Jared, I think you need to dothis.
And I was like do what?
And he's like I think you needto pursue this.
And at that point, like I said,I still didn't think it was
something that could be pursuedbecause I didn't feel like I was
(05:27):
doing anything other than justbuilding friendship and
relationship with someone.
And he said I have a number ofteammates who will likely never
darken the doors of a chapel ora Bible study or go to church,
but a lot of them have said whowas that guy that poured into
your life Because we wantsomeone who just sees us for who
we are.
And that was kind of thepivotal moment for me where I
(05:50):
realized that a lot of these menand the positions that they're
in their relationships theynever really know, you know, is
it mutual?
Is it, you know, is therestrings attached?
Is there something you knowthat kind of gets in the way,
Because oftentimes it comes withcan I have this or I want that,
and so for them to go.
(06:11):
I just want something orsomeone who cares about me, and
nothing else.
And so that's kind of how itstarted.
For me was just one pivotalrelationship that then said I
think you need to do this, andthat was in 2013.
And so got involved a littlebit more, mostly away from the
(06:33):
stadium.
It'll sound like a brokenrecord, I'm sure, this afternoon
, but relationship for me isparamount, Like that's what I
pursue.
There's a lot of things in myjob that I get to do that I love
, but building that relationshipand that connection with people
is really at the heart ofeverything.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
You know, I love
everything you're saying and,
and I think of, my questionwould be these, these athletes,
they're on the team and theyobviously you did something, for
Carrie Carrie talks about itand they're like I just I want
that.
So, these athletes, they're onthe team and they obviously you
did something, for carrie carrietalks about it and they're like
I just I want that.
So these athletes that are nowyou know you meet with and I
know with athletes in action, um, I mean before every game, or
(07:15):
is it before and after everygame that you, you know you meet
?
What would be?
Um, just, if you could describethe players in, in their
leadership or their, would yousay they're any different?
Would you say they've changedsince meeting with you?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
You know, they're
just still great guys and I
don't know realized is thatthere's just a tremendous amount
of pressure that comes withbeing an athlete, but also being
an athlete that is, at theprofessional level and and their
(07:51):
their livelihood, and this istheir job, and there's a certain
level of I mean, in any sportthere's expectations put on each
one of these guys to to performand to succeed, and and I
always say like I'm probably oneof the only people in the
building that the relationshipdoesn't really change if the
outcome of the game is, you know, great or bad, like regardless
(08:16):
of whether they had their bestgame or their worst game, like I
have the luxury of not caringabout that, because I know, at
the end of the day, like myabout that, because I know, at
the end of the day, like my whoI am and who I see them as isn't
going to be dictated on aperformance which very few
people in this industry and inthis job have have the ability
(08:36):
to actually just maintain thatlevel of relationship where,
where it doesn't really thefactor of what happens at the
end of the game doesn't reallymatter.
And so I've seen a lot of guysreally let their guard down
around me just because they feellike it's a safe space, but
also they feel like they can bethemselves around me without
(08:59):
their, you know, being thatextra set of eyes.
As to, like, you know, how doesthis, how does this impact this?
Or how does, like you know, forme it's kind of just at face
value and like, for me, like Isaid, like we meet regularly and
we have scheduled times thatplayers are welcome to come to,
and but for me it's thosemoments of hey, jared, can, can
(09:23):
we chat?
Or like, hey, I got a question,or I've been thinking about this
, and a lot of it's impromptu,and those are the times where I
feel like God is really moving,because it's usually on the
sidelines or it's at the mostinopportune time where you can't
really answer it the way youwant to because they have to run
back out onto the field orwhatnot.
But it's just neat to see that,like, a lot of these guys are
(09:45):
thinking about these things andthey're, you know, they're
questioning things in their ownlife, and to be able to kind of
be alongside that for them as asounding board, but also as
someone who, you know, has a bitof understanding in the area
that they're asking, to be ableto give them resources and and
direct them to, to where theyneed to go, in order to maybe
(10:07):
have some of these questionsanswered, whether it's through
myself or through someone else.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, man, can you
imagine if all offices had you?
I mean, it's leader impact andwe meet there.
Man, everybody had a Jared, ohno that's.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Sometimes I think I'm
like, oh, that's you know, but
that I think there are people inevery situation that could be
that and I don't think it needsto be that designated title.
And so I get people all thetime who are like oh, you need
to come and tell so and so aboutthis, and I'm like that's not
my job, that's.
You know, god actually placedyou there in order for you to be
(10:47):
that in this.
But and so, oh, people alwaysbe like, oh, you need to.
I'll just let you tell them andI go no, I have, I've got an
area of my own that, you know,god has entrusted me with.
But I do think that havingpeople in those roles, whether
it's officially or unofficially,people want to know that people
(11:09):
care, and I think thatsometimes life can get moving so
quickly or it can be so focusedin one thing that you lose the
opportunity to have theengagement in that other area as
well.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Yeah, oh, Jared,
that's a great answer.
I did.
I sort of convoluted a questionthere and then I asked another
question.
But what I, what I don't know,and my acquiring mind wants to
know.
I know that at the end of agame you meet in the midfield
and you, you know, you pray, youthank God for the game.
Yeah, Do you guys?
(11:41):
Do you meet with them prior tothe game?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
for the game?
Yeah, do you guys?
Do you meet with them prior tothe game?
Yeah so, yeah.
So we actually I can just runthrough so midweek, so midweek
we would have a bible study inthe facility for players who
want to come, and so everythingthat we do is voluntary.
But we have a lot of guys who,you know, faith is a big part of
their life, and so we have ascheduled meeting time during
the week and then on game day,usually three different elements
(12:11):
.
So one thing that's unique toour organization is that, say,
this weekend, a team comes intotown, their chaplain doesn't
travel with them, so I wouldalso be responsible for doing a
pregame chapel service for theaway team at their hotel.
So that's kind of how our gameday would start.
And then I get to the field orget to the stadium and usually
(12:35):
have one or two guys that I meetwith one on one on game day,
because their athletes have avery condensed schedule and some
of them are very specific aboutwhen things need to be done and
how they need to be done, andso I would meet one-on-one with
a handful of players, kind of ontheir side, on their terms and
on their timeline and then twohours before kickoff, we would
(12:55):
do our, our Rough Rider Chapel,in the facility and, like I said
, we we get a number of playerswho that's kind of that last
moment of like okay, like take abreath, you know, have that
moment for themselves and forthem as a group, and then the
flip is kind of switched orswitches kind of flipped, and
(13:17):
then we we end up going kind ofinto that mode of like
preparation and everything else,into that mode of like
preparation and everything else.
And then, right before we goout on the field, before the
guys run out on the tunnel, we'dactually just gather together
and pray and then post game,same thing.
We would meet collectively withboth teams at center field
(13:38):
after the game and and praytogether, which is unique to
football.
There's not very many sports outthere where there's that, that
public display of faith stillhappening.
Yeah, and so, yeah, to methere's.
There's a number of differentthings and different guys engage
in different things.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
And I think the
amazing thing is that people
don't realize that this is theCanadian football league and
this happens in the nationalfootball league.
And I wonder if people see ithappening but they actually
don't know what it is, that thisis the Canadian Football League
and this happens in theNational Football League.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And I wonder if
people see it happening but they
actually don't know what it is,and many times you know it's
Athletes in Action.
It's you know, would you saythat's right, yeah, so in Canada
, like Athletes in Action has achaplain on every CFL team that
is under our organization'sleadership, and so for us it's
unique to one organization.
In the States they have anumber of different sports
missions groups that would kindof take care of those things, or
(14:34):
local pastors, but in Canada weare all under the same umbrella
of Athletes in Action, and sothat's somewhat unique to us is
that every one of us is aco-worker in the roles that
we're doing on the respectiveteams that we're with.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, all right.
Well, that was an excellentexplanation of what you do and
I'm excited that you shared Ineeded to know.
Our next question is about yourbest principle of success, if
you have one and if you can tellus a story that may illustrate
it.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah, I was thinking
about this because I'm fortunate
to surround myself with highlevel leaders kind of in every,
every walk, like whether it'shere, I mean with the players or
the coaches, or you know, I'msurrounded by, I think, good
leaders all the time, and sosomewhat for me, I'm like, oh,
(15:29):
like what can I pick from him?
And you know, what can I pickfrom?
You know, I have a luxury ofpeople around me who I think are
very effective in that area andI think for me, what, what it
comes down to maybe, if Ipinpoint one, would be like
ownership.
Like I feel like when peopleget to a point where they
(15:51):
themselves feel like they havesome piece of ownership, whether
it's in a project or a team oryou know something that they're
working on people do more ifthey feel like they have a role
and a responsibility that iscrucial to the outcome of
whatever it is.
And so sometimes I think formyself in some of the areas,
(16:13):
whether it's project based inchapel or Bible study, like I
don't like to be the guy thattalks all the time, like I just
kind of want to sit back andjust kind of observe and just
really take in and listen towhat some of these guys are
saying, and it's funny becauseearly on you'll get the guys who
kind of are always like sideeye, like is Jared going to say
(16:35):
something?
You know, is he going to stepin?
Because they want to concede tomyself for the answer.
But part of their growth andpart of my ability to help them
grow is just to let them sit inthat and go.
Well, I actually have somethingI can offer here and I have the
space and the freedom and, youknow, feel like I can.
(16:56):
And so if I'm always worriedabout, like, what I have to say
or what I have to do, you knowit takes away from other people
feeling like they can own apiece of what we're doing.
And so it's usually thosemoments for me.
Like a couple of weeks ago wehad a player who, just like I
said honestly, I could have leftin Bible study, would have just
ran as it did, which is greatCause I think ideally, at the
(17:16):
end of the day, I don't want itto be about me, and and so for
these guys to feel like theyhave some ownership in the room
where they can bring topics up,topics up, or they can, you know
, bring their concerns orwhatever it is that they're
reading or listening to and gohey what do you think about this
?
And and they kind of drive theconversation and I just kind of
put the parameters up and tryand keep it kind of within the
(17:39):
lines.
And you know, if I feel like Ineed to step in or share
something, then I will.
But for me, I look at that and Igo like you get more out of it
when more people feel likethey're a part of it.
And so there's this empowermentwhere they go oh, like you know,
my voice does matter, or myopinion does matter, and for me
(18:00):
to be able to afford space andwhat I'm doing for those people
to kind of get to that point isusually for me a key level of
success and going like, okay,I'm doing my job, because it's
not just me, and the more wehave in that position or in that
place where they feel like theyhave a voice, then then I feel
(18:21):
like the outcome it takes careof itself in some regard,
because I tend not to focus onthe outcome, which is one thing
I've learned from being involvedin professional sports is that
if you're always worried aboutthe outcome, every weekend
somebody's going to bedisappointed because someone has
to win and someone has to lose,and so to get beyond that and
(18:42):
just go like what process needsto happen in order for us to be
prepared for whatever outcomedoes you know inevitably show up
, and so I would say ownershipis a big key for me in
identifying, you know, arethings successful, whether it's
in a project or some of thethings that I'm doing on a day
to day.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Oh, Jared, that's.
A great answer.
Thank you for sharing.
In this podcast we talk a lot.
Well, we do talk about ourfailures and mistakes, because I
think we all know we probablylearn more from those than our
own successes.
So I'm wondering if you wouldbe willing to share a failure or
a mistake and what you learnedfrom it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Yeah, this I mean.
In some regards I feel likeI've been fairly fortunate
because, as I said before, I'vebeen surrounded by really good
leaders, which has kind ofcreated a bit of a buffer for me
in the journey of becoming aleader, created a bit of a
buffer for me in the journey ofbecoming a leader where,
(19:44):
thankfully, I haven't had tomake some of the mistakes that
maybe I would have had I not hadpeople kind of steering and
guiding me.
But I do remember one situation.
It was kind of that first bigdecision that I had to make as a
leader and I was really strongin my conviction about the
decision that needed to be madeand so I just made it and
(20:07):
afterwards I still, to this day,stand by it and I think it was
the right choice.
But what I realized was that itkind of comes back to my
previous answer that some of thepeople that were impacted by
that decision didn't feel likethey had any voice or, you know,
any position to say anythingwhen it came to me, kind of just
(20:27):
saying like this is thedecision that needed to be made
and I'm making it, and realizedafter that like I I didn't
really lend myself to hear fromanyone else because of how maybe
stubborn or strong I was in myconviction as to what decision
had to happen.
And it was that moment for methat I realized that leadership
(20:49):
isn't necessarily about hey,this is how I lead.
Everyone else needs to kind offall underneath that.
I come to this understandingfairly quickly that different
people need different thingsfrom their leaders, and so a
friend of ours he always says,like you need to be treated
fairly, not equally, becausesometimes you know, if we're
(21:13):
treating everyone equally,someone's not actually being
respected in that process.
And so I've kind of realized,like, oh, this person in this
situation, he didn't need tonecessarily have a say in the
outcome, but he just wanted tobe heard and he wanted to feel
(21:33):
like he was a part of thediscussion before the decision
was made and other people goJared, I just make the decision,
I'll kind of deal with you know.
And so instead of me going, hey, this is what I need you guys
to do, it was more of thismoment of like, how do I bring
people in in an effort ofcollaboration and hearing them
(21:55):
and seeing them, and they feelthat they're valued, even though
I might not make the decision?
You know that they wanted me tomake.
At least they feel like thereis a respect there, that they
were asked or that they weregiven an opportunity to share.
And it's really started to formmy, my leadership now, because
my one son is he was diagnosedon the autism spectrum, and so I
(22:19):
now look at it through thislens and I go I would never
treat my son the same way as Itreat my other two kids, because
he has very specific anddifferent needs from me than the
other ones.
And so if I just parented allthree of my kids the exact same
way, then one of or all of thosekids are not actually being
treated with like the dignityand the respect that they
(22:40):
deserve, because I'm just tryingto do everything the same.
And so I learned that through myown family dynamic.
But then bringing it back intothe business or workplace where
I go, oh, I actually can't treatyou the same because you have
different needs and you havedifferent desires or different
wants, you know, and as a leader, I need to be able to pull
those things out of you orempower you to use them, without
(23:05):
feeling like, as the leader,you're kind of you're taking the
power away from them by justsaying this is what's happening
and this is what's going on, andit doesn't matter what you have
to say.
And so I don't feel like I wasthat authoritative leader, but I
just there was some changesthat I thought needed to be made
and I made them.
And then backtracking I go oh,I have to work with these people
(23:28):
still and they have a littleless respect for me because I
didn't show them the respectbefore jumping into that.
So that was a tough one for me.
I learned a lot from it.
One of the dynamics that I'malways kind of working through
is I'm the young leader.
I guess is kind of the not amoniker that was put on me, but
(23:50):
a lot of the people that I workaround and work with are older
than me, and so there'sconstantly that you know, how do
you prove yourself, or how doyou?
You know, how do you, how doyou prove yourself, or how do
you?
You know, how do you lead froma place of respect when you know
maybe you're seen less as apeer and more as you know
someone younger?
And so there's always thosethings for me that I've had to
(24:12):
work through right from thestart of going.
How do I lead people that areolder than me?
Or how do I lead people whohave been in this organization
longer than me, or how do I leadpeople who have been in this
organization longer than me?
And so for me, like I said, itwas one of those moments where I
(24:34):
can think back to specificallyand go oh, had I went back and
done it again, you know Iprobably would have done it
different.
I think the outcome would havestayed the same, but the process
in which I got to that outcomewould look very different.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yeah, I appreciate
the integration of the
professional life and thepersonal life.
You know how you, you, youbrought the story home and you
took it to work.
It all applies.
People want to be heard, Peoplewant to share um at leader
impact.
Of course we want to growpersonally, professionally and
spiritually, and uh, forincreasing impact.
(24:59):
So I, so we do.
I love that story.
Would you be willing to sharean example of how you, how the
spiritual, makes a practicaldifference in your life as a
leader?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Well, I, I suppose
I'm fortunate because, you know,
leading people in the faithcommunity or in the faith world
is is my main responsibility andso, um, but how it impacts me
personally is, uh, I think earlyon I I was like that I'm just
(25:32):
thinking, like my kids we usedto have those plates that had
like the dividers everywhere, solike none of their food touched
, and and when I first started,I I approached my life that way,
like I was like, hey, I've gotmy personal life over here and
I've got my professional lifeover here, and you know, I've
got everything else kind of, andI didn't allow any of it to
bleed over.
It was very, you know,compartmentalized and like this
(25:53):
is, you know, this is who I amhere and this is who I am here
and and that's how I approachthings for a long time, because
I was like, no, I need toprotect my time with my family
and I need to protect my timewith my wife, and you know, when
I'm at work.
I want to be at work and I wantto be fully present there, and
so I convinced myself that thatwas the appropriate way to go.
Uh, and then for myself, I'mlike, oh, my own spiritual life
(26:17):
is important.
So then I kind of had thislittle like this is just just
for me.
And a couple of years ago Ijust kind of got to a point
where I was like, man, like thisis hard, like trying to just
kind of keep all this separateor keep this kind of going is
not working.
And this idea of, like,work-life balance is not
something I necessarily think isattainable.
It's not something Inecessarily think is attainable,
(26:39):
because I came to theconclusion that every day, I had
to sacrifice something in oneof those areas in order to do
something else.
And I was like, oh, like, ifI'm here doing this, then I'm
not at home with my family, orif I'm focusing fully on me,
then I don't have the capacityto focus on anyone else.
(27:01):
And it got really exhausting,trying to just go through life
being like, oh, I could havebeen doing this or I could have
been doing that, or if I'm doingthis, then I'm not doing that.
And I started to really look atmy day and go like, what did I
accomplish?
And it wasn't until I reallyfelt like God was like Jared,
some of the greatest gifts thatI've given you aren't being used
(27:24):
because you're so worried aboutseparation or keeping things
apart.
And then I came to therealization that one of the
greatest gifts I have inministry is for the people that
I work with to actually see whata godly husband looks like or a
godly father looks like.
And so me, keeping my kids awayfrom you know, this side of
(27:45):
things was actually, you know,doing a disservice to them over
here, because guys would be like, oh, jared, I don't understand
what you mean by this, or Idon't, and it's like oh, if you
could only.
I remember thinking like if youcould only see me at home, you
know, you would see some ofthese things kind of play out in
the day-to-day, and then I waslike I'm preventing them from
(28:06):
seeing these things actuallybeing lived out because I was so
careful with, you know,protecting those areas and those
spaces.
And so one of the greatestgifts I have is the ability for
my wife and my kids to be a partof what I'm doing and a lot of
the athletes that I work with.
It's really unfortunate, but Ihave a number of players who go.
(28:29):
I never had a dad growing up orI didn't have a male role model
in my life, and so when you'retalking about all these things,
I actually don't have aframework in which I can go to
and actually see how that looksor what that feels like.
And so I was like, oh, like I'mdoing it over here and if you
(28:49):
could only just see it.
So I actually had to, you know,kind of erase those lines and
go.
This is who I am and these areall a part of it, and each one
actually can serve the other ifI, if I do it properly.
And when I started to allowplayers kind of to see who I was
kind of at the core of who I am, our relationships actually
(29:12):
grew exponentially becausethey're like oh, george, just
like me, you know he he has thesame struggles that I have and
you know he's he's got the sametensions that are happening in
life to me, that he's in part ofthat as well, and so it almost
humanized me a little bit andthey were like, oh, I can just
(29:33):
be real with him because he'sbeing real with me and it took
for me kind of pulling thecurtain back, so to speak, of my
life and going, hey guys, thisis who I am and I'm not exempt
from any of these things becauseI'm a spiritual leader or a
chaplain allows me to try andhandle some of these things a
(30:03):
little bit differently or alittle bit more healthy, because
I'm not just doing it formyself, I'm trying to to become
this leader in my own life andallowing people to be a part of
that has been, has been neat,because, like I have a player he
like showed up at my house oneday and he's just like we
invited him for supper and hedidn't leave really young.
Most of the guys kind of come in, come out and and the next day
(30:25):
he goes jared, certainly thatcan't be what your life looks
like.
And I was like what do you mean?
He's like it seems fake.
And I was like, well, I don't.
And for me I don't understandit, but I didn't grow up in, you
know, some of these areas thatthese guys grew up in and when
he goes, oh, I didn't have a dad, or you know, my mom and dad
(30:47):
split up at an early age orwhatever, and so like I don't
know what it.
So, when I'm havingconversations with him about
what a healthy marriage shouldlook like, it's a foreign
concept to him, because all hehas seen is hurt and you know
pain when it comes torelationships.
And so it was at that momentwhere I realized, like my wife
(31:09):
and my kids and how I am withthem is actually one of the
greatest resources that God hasgiven me to show what God's love
looks like, kind of lived outpractically on a day to day.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Jared, that's a great
, great answer.
I loved your analogy at thebeginning with the plate and
that you know we break it intothree you know sections, because
I think a lot of people wedon't carry it over and and
unfortunately talking about itat work isn't, is a no-go, you
know, and not everybody who youknow.
(31:46):
If you work in a you knowfederal government office or
private enterprise, you, youknow, you can't talk about it.
You've actually been told.
So it is very difficult and I,you know.
But, and I and I know that weinterviewed Britt Dort.
So you are with the Canadianfootball league and you're on
the, on the I was going to saycourt, cause I know my sports,
(32:07):
you're on the field, and BrittDort's with TSN and you actually
didn't know that she was aChristian until you saw our
podcast.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah, it was actually
.
I watched it game day, I hadsome time on my hands, and two I
think it was two episodes agoyou had Dave Clawson on, who is,
you know, someone that hasmentored me in our, in my
relationship, to kind ofbecoming a leader.
He's one of those key guys forme that has really given me
(32:36):
space but also really pushed mein that area, and so I just
finished listening to his cause.
I wanted to listen to it, andthen the new one was uploaded
and I was sitting in my office.
I thought, like she's 200 yardsaway from me right now and I
had no idea that you know, andso that bridging of it is is
neat Cause.
Now, like I said, just seeingher on the sidelines and
(32:59):
understanding her story a littlebit more and just knowing that,
like faith, is cause a lot oftimes people just think, oh,
you're here for the players.
Like Jared, your job is just to,you know, be there for the
players.
But I don't limit myself to thatLike, if I have the ability to
build relationship with someoneand encourage them in their
faith, whether it's you knowsomebody you know that's on the
(33:20):
ref and crew, or somebody who'syou know with TSN or it's the
ball boy, like if the securityguard, like I have relationships
with a number of these peoplebecause I just actually have the
time to stop and, you know, aska simple question as to like,
how is your day going?
The person sitting in theelevator all week, like you know
it's just like they just sitthere and they do their job and
(33:43):
you know there's not a lot ofconnection.
And so to take that moment andactually, like I said, bring
that dignity piece in or kind ofthat community piece in and
going, like if I can makesomebody's you know day by just
stopping and and connecting andasking, you know I feel like
that's within my role and it'snot just subject to kind of the
(34:06):
players that that are on thisfield or even the coaching staff
as well.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, good, good,
thank you.
We're on to our final twoquestions.
So at Leader Impact, we'rededicated to leaders having a
lasting impact.
So, as you continue to movethrough your own journey sounds
fantastic.
Have you considered what youwant your faith legacy to be
when you leave this world?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yes, I mean, the easy
answer would be like I hope
people don't see me Like I justthink there's this idea of if,
at the end of it, if all I gavewas myself, then I probably, you
know, missed the mark a littlebit and so that's kind of like
the instinct for me is to go tothat point of like well,
(34:52):
hopefully they experiencesomething beyond just myself,
and maybe that's me having thechance to describe why I am the
way that I am, or the hope thatI have because of Jesus or what
Like.
But I hope that people just gooh, like I like Jared, because
it's like I'm like well, if I'mjust giving out of myself or if
I'm just giving from my ownenergy or effort, then then I
(35:16):
haven't given a whole lot, andso that would be my first answer
would be something to deflectaway from myself.
It's I've realized that I'm notthe leader that needs to be at
the front of the room or theleader that needs to necessarily
be, you know, kind of at theforefront of everything and not
the one that's, you know, asvocal as some other leaders are,
(35:39):
and I think there's roles andresponsibilities for all of
those places.
But I have found a lot of, youknow, a lot of joy just being in
the back and just kind of beingin those quiet places.
And so to me, I think and I wastalking with my wife earlier
today because I was kind ofthinking through some of these
(35:59):
questions, and she's usually apretty good sounding board of
what you know what life lookslike, kind of even from her
perspective, and I think I couldsum it up in three words is he
was there, and when I thinkabout that it bleeds into every
area of my life where I go.
No, I want my kids to be likedad was there, like he was at
(36:22):
the gym, he was at the rink, hewas at my recital, he was there
to pick me up from school, and Ithink that is obviously my
priority is them.
And so, coming back to aquestion a few ago, where this
idea of like give it, like ifyou're waiting, you're giving up
(36:42):
time somewhere.
And as a leader, I've just cometo terms with the fact that I'm
not willing to sacrifice time athome for the sake of doing
something else.
And so my my boss, or DaveClaussen, he challenged me a
number of years ago thatministry can't be done at the
(37:03):
expense of family, and so I needto be true to them first, and I
need to be there for them first, and then from there, like I
said now, now you're dealingwith even less time in your day,
based on how much time you feelyou need to commit at home, and
, and so I got really good atsaying no, because I wanted to
(37:28):
make sure that I was protectingthis area.
And so, just for an example, ourone non-negotiable is that five
o'clock we're sitting at thetable together for supper as a
family.
That's kind of like the maincheckpoint of the day is all
five of us we're at the table,and my wife's a shift worker, so
(37:48):
it depends on her schedule, butwhen it allows it, like five
o'clock, we're sitting downtogether as a family, and it's
not.
We're not rushing out the door,we're not grabbing something
and going like we're intentionalabout spending that time
together, because our lives areonly getting busier as our kids
get older and as they have moreand more activities, and so
we've kind of prioritized thatfive o'clock to six o'clock hour
(38:12):
where we go, nothing's touchingthat Like that's, that's ours.
You know, it's a non-negotiable, we're not going to compromise.
So now that we have thatparameter in place, it allows me
to be a little bit morestrategic with where I spend my
time and what I do.
But it does come back to like Idon't want people to be like, oh
(38:33):
, Jared didn't have time for meor he wasn't there.
I think sometimes we convinceourselves that because we have
so much connection through thepalm of our hand now, with
whatever device that we have,that we have a relationship with
so many people, with whateverdevice that we have, that we
have a relationship with so manypeople.
(38:54):
But I don't think that any ofthat is a substitute for just
showing up and being present andjust being, you know, in
relationship with someoneshoulder to shoulder.
And that being present part isinteresting because recently
there's been days where I I cometo work and I sit in my office
and the doors open and you know,if I wasn't there then there
(39:19):
was no opportunity.
And so at least being thereprovides people the opportunity
(39:41):
to come or to show up or to askor to be a part, like if I had
to say like someone stood up atthe end and was like oh.
I could say a lot of things, butthe main one is that Jared
showed up like he was there.
And because I think ministry andpresence is important and the
(40:05):
more people feel like you'rethere, the more trust is
established.
And once trust is established,then I do feel like some of
those other key markers of like,oh like are you effective in
your job or in your ministry?
You know, how many people areyou meeting with, praying with?
How many people are you sharingthe gospel with?
Those things?
Those come along with time, butthose can't happen If you don't
(40:27):
show up first.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Sometimes we think of
leaders, we think we need
really big answers.
You know, no, he was there,just show up.
Just you know.
And I loved your comment aboutnot all leaders need to be at
the front of the room.
You know, sometimes we're atthe back of the room and someone
just turned around and you werethere.
You were just there, you justshowed up.
So great answer, jared, thankyou.
(40:51):
So our last question we love toask is what brings you the
greatest joy?
You were just there, you justshowed up.
So great answer, jared, thankyou.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
So our last question
we love to ask is what brings
you the greatest joy?
Oh, I mean, first and foremost,it would be my kids.
Like I just love like being adad.
It just there's so many lessonsto be learned.
And you know, I look at my kidsand I watch them struggle
through things.
(41:17):
And then you know I watchedthem, you know come through and
it's just like, oh like theother day I had a conversation
with my youngest son.
He's six years old and I waslike, son, you need to be a
leader.
And he's just like I'm six,like how can I be a leader?
And it was just I'm six, likehow could I be a lead?
And it was just like.
And I was like, well, I thinkevery one of us has the ability
to be a leader.
(41:38):
It's a matter of whether we'rebeing a good one or a bad one.
And and he's just kind of likehis eyes kind of open up.
And I was like, so were youleading people to, to listen to?
Your like actually just see,pull in lessons and have this
opportunity just to kind of seethings play out with your own
kids and and then, when you seethem actually get it like that
to me.
(41:58):
I'm like, oh, it just brings meso much joy to see, like you
know, the teaching that they'rereceiving or the the things that
they're learning.
I mean my daughter comes homeand they're at the Christian
school in Regina and she comeshome with so much excitement,
you know, about what she learnedand she's like God, dad, did
you know that Jesus did this?
Or like she comes home withlike this, like excitement about
(42:21):
things that I read regularlyand I'm like man, when was the
last time I was that excitedabout like learning or reading
or seeing you know what God doesor has done?
And so for them, like I, justlike a proud dad, you know you
(42:42):
sit back and you just kind ofobserve and you watch, and I
think they'll like theythemselves.
They bring me a lot of joybecause you know that's a role
that I take with.
You know a lot of pride and joyis just being their dad and my
kids.
You know like I always chuckle.
I'm not going to be out of ajob in 18 years because my son
wrote in kindergarten my careerthat I want to be when I grow up
is the Rough Rider chaplain.
(43:05):
So I've kind of got anexpiration date on my on my job,
I think, because, you know, myyoungest son was like Dad, I
want to do what you do, yeah,which to me probably comes back
to that reality of like, oh,what is what does success look
like?
Or what is, you know, legacylook like?
It's like, well, if your kidswant to grow up to be like you,
you know, hopefully, you know,hopefully, that's a, that's a
(43:27):
marker of something to be, youknow, quite proud of.
And so then, and then also Iand it's the same cause in some
regards I, I see a lot of mykids and the men that I work
with, you know, and you're,you're trying to be that
fatherly figure or brotherlyfigure or whatever it is.
(43:48):
And you know, when you'rewalking through something
challenging with them, and thenyou know they come through it
and they're just, you just haveso much joy and pride and
watching people overcome thethings that are kind of facing
them.
And you know, I've seen a lot ofpeople, you know, give up, and
I've seen a lot of people, youknow, not want to do the hard
thing because of what it mightentail, and and so to sit back
(44:12):
and kind of watch.
You know a number of people thatI've really come to love and to
care for, you know seeing themgrow up and you know officiating
weddings or you know dedicatingbabies, like I'm now at that
point where I'm like, oh, Ifinally get to see some of these
like really key, pivotalmoments in some of these guys'
(44:32):
lives and to have the joy ofbeing invited into those things
I take, you know, great honorand privilege in.
When a guy goes, hey, likewould you officiate my wedding,
like that's one of the mostimportant days of that person's
life, and to be invited intothat just just shows that
there's that level of respectand trust that you've been
(44:52):
trying to earn for years.
And you know those days whereyou're like, oh, did I do my job
, did I accomplish something?
You know are kind of all worthit when you have those moments
where you just get to share inthat with the people that you
work with.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I feel like you have
joy every day.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I do, you do.
That's awesome, yeah, in anumber of facets, and so I'm
like I said, I am thankful andyeah, just even one last thing.
I guess something popped up.
I have got it on my note hereso I should probably share it
because I felt it was importantearlier.
But, um, the one slogan I havekind of in the back of my mind
all the time is like more iscaught than taught, and so
somebody shared that with meearly on.
Like people are going to observeand learn more.
The one slogan I have kind of inthe back of my mind all the
(45:32):
time is like more is caught thantaught, and so somebody shared
that with me early on.
Like people are going to observeand learn more from you than
anything that you have to teachthem, and so, so, yeah, that's
when I started to really come toterms with the fact that, like,
people are always watching me.
They're kind of they want tosee like, is this real, is this
(45:52):
not me?
They're kind of they want tosee like is this real, is this
not?
And so for me to live with youknow, conviction, but also with
compassion, kind of on a day today basis, I feel like the
gospel is at work in my own life, not only for myself but for
others to kind of see likethat's, that's what it's
supposed to look like.
And if I never get a chance toactually share that verbally, I
(46:14):
would hope that you know how Ilive my life and how people
perceive me in my relationshipsand in my actions and in my, in
my speech, that that ultimatelythey would learn from that more
so than just me opening my mouth.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
But, Jared, when you
open your mouth comes out.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
But I get it yeah, as
I said, this is hard for me
because I'm like I've gottenreally, you know, comfortable at
the back of the room and sosometimes people are like you
have something to say and I'mlike, yeah, so, yeah, trying to
trying to bring that out.
Sometimes for me, is you know,because?
Because my fear is, like, onceyou get to the front, like are
(46:55):
you going to, you know, are yougoing to want to leave?
Or you know, is that idea rightOf, like what comes with being
at the front, you know?
Then you have a whole anotherlist of things that you kind of
have to open yourself up to aswell.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
So All right.
Well, I'm thankful that youdecided you were going to talk
today and shared us your story,your failures, your principles
of success.
Jared, it has been a great timespent with you and thank you
for just taking the time today.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I appreciate it and,
like I said, I think hopefully
there are people out there whocan resonate with some aspect of
my story of becoming a leader,you know, can resonate with some
aspect of my story of becominga leader Cause, like I said,
there was there was times therewhere I felt like that wasn't
necessarily the trajectory inwhich my story was leading.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
So, yeah, so if
anyone wants to either engage
with you about athletes inaction, want to engage with you
about ministry or just JaredLacoste ministry.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
or just Jared Lacoste
where can they find you?
Yeah, I think LinkedIn wouldprobably be one of the easiest
places to go.
Just Jared Lacoste.
Or Athletes in Action wise,like, we have a website,
athletesinactionca, and there's,you know, there's a connect tab
there that, yeah, if you wantto connect with me, it will
(48:16):
eventually end up towards me.
It's kind of a general service,but if you put my name in there
, the office will make sure thatthe connection is made.
We have a lot of informationand different resources on our
website that, hopefully, ifyou're looking for some way to
engage your faith or even engagein the sporting community
(48:36):
wherever you're at, we we haverepresentation across the
country and so hopefully, yeah,you would find something there
that you can engage with.
That would be beneficial whereyou're at in your own journey
all right.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Well, thank you again
, jared, for your time today.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Thank you, lisa I
appreciate it all right today.
Thank you, lisa, I appreciateit.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
All right.
Well, this ends our podcast.
We hope you've enjoyed our timetogether.
If you're part of Leader Impact, you can always discuss or
share this podcast with yourgroup.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find out more and grow yourleadership, find our podcast
page on our website atleaderimpactca and check out our
free leadership assessment onour website at leaderimpactca
(49:15):
and check out our freeleadership assessment.
You will also find on ourwebpage chapter one of Braden
Douglas's book Becoming a Leaderof Impact.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
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the world, check outleaderimpactcom or get in touch
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(49:35):
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You.