November 6, 2024 • 40 mins
Christian Ray Flores has led a fascinating life, from a child refugee in Chile to becoming an Eastern European pop star, and now a leader in philanthropy and entrepreneurship. Discover how an economics graduate followed his passion for music and found success against all odds. Christian's journey is a testament to the courage it takes to embrace change and listen to your inner calling, even when it means stepping away from the status quo.
Reflecting on personal experiences, we discuss the difficulty of juggling multiple responsibilities. Learn the importance of listening to insight from friends, mentors, and spouses, and how a supportive community can foster growth. We share lessons learned about focus and the power of sometimes humbling personal realizations.
Thanks for listening!
Click here to take the LeaderImpact Assessment and to receive the first chapter of Becoming a Leader of Impact by Braden Douglas.
Remember, impact starts with you!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lisa Peters (00:05):
Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
We're a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living this out.
We love talking with leaders,so if you have any questions,
comments or suggestions to makethis show even better, please
(00:27):
let us know.
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is through our
newsletter at leaderimpact.
ca or on social at Leader Impact.
If you're listening fromoutside of Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpactcom.
I'm your host today and ourguest today is Christian Ray
Flores.
Christian is an entrepreneur,international recording artist,
(00:48):
philanthropist and performancecoach.
His extraordinary journey froma child refugee in Chile to
entertaining millions as a popstar in Eastern Europe, leading
philanthropic projectsinternationally, to founding
entrepreneurial projects in theUS, makes Christian a uniquely
dynamic speaker and compellingleader.
With a master's degree ineconomics and fluency in four
(01:09):
languages, he is a versatilecommunicator.
Based in Austin, Texas, heco-founded Third Drive Media,
creating award-winning mediaprojects and raising millions
for startups, and the non-profitAscend Mission Fund serving
children in Mozambique andUkraine.
Through Exponential, Christianempowers business and non-profit
(01:31):
leaders to reach and stay atthe top of their game.
He is the host of the podcastHeadspace by Christian Ray
Flores and author of Little Bookof Big Reasons to Love America.
Welcome to the show, Christian.
Christian Ray Flores (01:45):
Thanks for having me, Lisa.
Lisa Peters (01:48):
An amazing bio and I'm super excited to talk to you
, but I have to share that whensomeone calls me and says you
need to talk to Christian, thatmakes me think of the people you
surround yourself with.
Absolutely love you.
Huge, huge kudos to that, thatperson that called me, and so
(02:08):
thank you for just taking thetime, because reading this was
just..
.
Your bio is incredible andlooking you up was a joy, so
thank you.
Christian Ray Flores (02:19):
Was it?
There's a lot, there's a lotthere.
A lot of it could be joy, itcould be huh, really?
A lot of hair.
If you look it up on youtubeYouTube 90s hair, right.
?
Lisa Peters (02:29):
So when you were the rock star.
Yes, yes, there's a great flow.
We definitely talk about ourjourneys, and I want to hear a
little bit about yours, aboutyour professional journey and
how you got to where you aretoday.
And, most importantly, we wantto hear about those pivots.
You know the pivotal turningpoints along that journey and I
(02:53):
was excited.
Interestingly, I listened to apodcast of yours today and you
talked about the three secretsto lasting fulfillment and one
of those was knowing where topivot and knowing sort of when
to pivot.
So you know if you can share alittle bit more.
I know we had a quick bio, butwhat about your life and those
(03:13):
pivots?
Christian Ray Flores (03:15):
Okay.
So thank you for asking thatquestion, because I think that
is the one thing that peopleignore.
We ignore the whisper of thesoul, and the whisper usually
doesn't go away when we ignoreit.
It just gets louder and louderand louder.
And we can suppress it, we canrationalize it away, but if we
(03:38):
pay attention, if we just quietourselves, it might give us the
next thing, the next term, thenext season, the next
opportunity, the next portal toa new reality, a new future.
So I really believe in healthypivots.
The painful thing about that isthat everything about us
resists potential suffering, andthat's why we don't pay
(04:01):
attention.
So status quo is what we wantto maintain, even if we're
suffering, even if our statusquo is terrible, right?
Leaving it in any fundamentalway is a painful uncertainty.
So we just go oh, maybe nottoday, maybe I won't fix this
today, maybe I won't changethings, maybe I won't change.
(04:24):
So I'll give you a very few,like a splattering of pivots,
and then we can go into whateverrabbit hole that you choose to
go down to.
So, for example, I'll give youvery quick ones.
So I graduate with a master'sdegree in economics.
I speak four differentlanguages.
My people, my peers are goingto banking, finance,
(04:46):
international trade.
And I was musical, my wholelife, and I danced and I was an
entertainer.
So I have both these worlds inmy heart.
And I go, You know, the odds ofsomebody succeeding as a
musician is like zero, or veryclose to that.
But what if?
That was a whisper from my souland I remember sort of
(05:09):
wrestling with it.
I was working in thisinternational trade company,
bored out of my mind, and I'mlike you know what I need to
stop.
So I just stopped, went away.
I went to Chile, to the Andesmountains, and I thought about
it and I'm like you know whatI'm gonna do it.
Just just years later I I wasplaying sports arenas across 15
different countries.
Then I'm riding on a train ridewith my crew.
(05:32):
Now I have an entourage, 21people work for me.
We're going from city to cityto city and I'm looking out the
window and I sort of scaremyself with this one very
specific thought.
And the thought was is this allthere is for me?
And I find myself dissatisfiedbecause there's these areas of
(05:54):
me that were dormant, eventhough I'm enjoying this
incredible life.
I mean just what a joy and aprivilege and how lucky I am
that I would write songs in mykitchen table or in the subway
and then all of a sudden I seethousands of people singing
those songs back to me.
right From 15 differentcountries.
But there were parts of me thatwere dissatisfied.
(06:15):
became a Christian at the time.
I wanted to help peoplespiritually.
I grew up in the third world.
I wanted to do philanthropy.
I wanted to do entrepreneurialthings.
I wanted to do not things justin that area, because I'm an
international guy and I felt alittle claustrophobic, let's put
it that way.
So all these dormant parts thatI mean, I have .
(06:37):
nothing It's certain, I justhave this whisper.
So I go back to my team and Igo hey, guys, I'm going to
transition out of it.
Everybody freaks out, thinksI'm crazy, and I start doing
spiritual work, ministry work,philanthropic work.
Then we moved to the US a fewTexas years later with my wife
Deb.
She's American and wephilanthropy.
(07:00):
So I am over nine countries,projects for a big charity it's
fantastic and a national projectas well.
So like double roles and I'velearned so much.
It's remarkable and we help alot of people.
And then I'm sitting there andwe're in LA by the time, and I'm
sitting there with Deb and Iremember she like brushing her
teeth and I go I think I want tostart my own company.
(07:21):
Like there's a whisper, there'syou whisper, there's a shift in
the force.
And she goes what are youtalking about?
You're doing this other stuff.
And I go I think I want to domusic videos and music
production, because there's allthese Hollywood producers here
and I know all these people overthere and you used to work for
MTV and VH1.
Maybe we can do a little nichething here.
(07:43):
And that's how our productioncompany was born and it was like
complete.
We don't know if anything'sgoing to work at all until it
does.
A few years later we're inAustin, Third texas Drive and
we're sort of doing a businessesof everything right.
So we have this productioncompany and It we decided to
plant It was church because itwas and Craigslist That's
(08:05):
community.
That is a non-mega church small.
Everybody knows each other'sname.
It's very connected, veryauthentic, and we had this
vision and we go well, let's goplant a church.
We have this business tosupport us.
Let's go plant a church.
So we plant a church.
And that's another whisper.
Right, right, we should makethat shift.
(08:26):
And course it's risky andsometimes you pay very dearly
for the pivots and we did,because the business that was
supported us there.
It sort of fell through becausethe market went away.
So now entertainer we're goinginto debt.
Things are really rough.
Okay, we can leave the high- orand do something else.
so I can go look right, or wecan pivot.
(08:49):
So we start a new company calledthird drive and we start doing
marketing for businessesnon-profit, non-profits,
startups, that kind of thingfrom nothing.
I was just nothing.
I like me a camera incraigslist.
You know that's, that's thecompany.
And then that evolves, you know.
And and then a few years later,another whisper is look you,
(09:11):
you've done all this stuff.
You've mentored all thesepeople for your whole life, as a
pastor, as a business leader,as an attainer.
Coaching is an interestingthing because you get the
undivided attention of a highlevel professional who you can
help and you can.
They have impact and you haveimpact through them.
And I had all this, all thismassive amounts of research and
(09:36):
knowledge and life experience,and I've interviewed some of the
top, you know experts in humanflourishing on my podcast.
Like this is something.
This is a treasure, right, Ineed to put it somewhere.
And then we start Exponential,which is my performance coaching
.
So this is just literally aseries of small pivots and they
all start with a whisper in yoursoul, somewhere that you either
pay attention or you ignore it.
Lisa Peters (09:59):
And have you ever ignored a whisper?
Christian Ray Flores (10:03):
That's a good question.
I think I can tell you at leastone time where I started a
YouTube channel, and I think itwas 2007 or something like that,
2008.
And it was just too hard.
I was insecure, I didn't knowif YouTube is going to be
anything.
And I look back and I go, oh mygosh, if I had started a
(10:25):
YouTube channel and kept goingevery week, I would have
improved, I would have beenmassive right now.
And I didn't do it.
So I did ignore at least onewhisper.
I'm sure I ignored more thanthat.
Lisa Peters (10:36):
When you ignore a whisper, so the YouTube example,
did it ever come back to you?
I found I am loving when youtalk about the whisper.
I feel the whisper and when Iignore the whisper, the whisper
comes a little harder at me.
And then I feel like at timesit's like there's a brick coming
at me, like, look, I'm tellingyou, do this.
(10:59):
Does that happen to anyone elsebut me?
Christian Ray Flores (11:01):
Oh totally , it totally does.
And then you struggle withregret.
You go, oh my gosh.
I wish I had a podcast 10 yearsago.
I wish I had a YouTube channel.
But, yeah, I wish I'd written abook 10 years ago, 15 years ago
.
have done it perfectly well,you know, and I just didn't do
it because it's hard, becausethere are other things going on
(11:22):
and also, maybe maybe at thevery core, I didn't know if it
was going to be successful andif people are going to go,
whatever, and that's sort of thenormal thing.
So I think there's a lot ofthings like that that were
whispered to me that I ignored.
Eventually, it sort of doesn'tgo away, especially if you're
paying attention.
And I think overcoming thatregret it's a big part of moving
(11:47):
on and just grabbing on tosuccess.
And now I have a podcast, Ihave a newsletter, you know.
I have a YouTube channel.
I just wrote a book that I'mreleasing in the fall, and the
best time to write a book is 10years ago.
I get it, but the next besttime is now, you know.
So so I'm doing all thosethings now and I'm really
(12:07):
excited about it.
Lisa Peters (12:09):
I'm glad you brought up the word regret,
cause I think a lot of peoplemay feel they regret.
I never want to look at regretLike I should have.
You know I'm just.
I'm going to move forward andlearn.
I want to believe that I madethe best decision at the time
that it happened and you know,so I didn't have a YouTube
channel 10 years ago.
(12:30):
The best time is right now.
I want to believe that and youknow I have no scientific theory
, it just makes me happy.
Christian Ray Flores (13:43):
Another brick is another whisper, rather
in the form of a brick is thethings that you keep doing that
are not helping you, and yousort of know, and you know this,
and then you sort of push itaway or rationalize it or
delegate it or just completelyignore it and then eventually
that that comes back as a brick.
So, for example, for me, youknow I have sort of this
professional ADHD condition.
I do like more than one thing.
So I eventually ended up doinglike four different things.
I'm pastoring this church, Ihave a nonprofit that I started
in Mozambique, a school academy,I have the Third Drive Media
Company and the coaching fourthings.
And I'm at this and then Istart, you know, I think about
it and you know it sort ofcatches up with you because now
you can't really do it all well.
There's cash flow problemsbecause you're not focusing,
there's time managementproblems, there's all kinds of
things that suffer, right.
So you become excellence,starts suffering tremendously,
even if you're ahigh-performance person.
I am right and so you feel thepain, you feel that brick really
landing on you and you starttalking to people that know you,
like my wife, like you knowwhat I get it.
I feel like I need to focus andthey look at you, your friends
you know, who love you, who'vetalked to you a thousand times
about it, and they go.
You think?
Like it's like everybody knowsthis, everybody knows this.
I don't understand how youdon't know this right.
So I think that the lesson fromthat is listen to your friends.
Stop ignoring when people hinton things.
You know people don't want tobe getting in your face, but
stop ignoring the loving adviceof good mentors, and your spouse
especially your spouse.
Listen to your wife, becausethey will save you from a lot of
pain if you pay attention.
Lisa Peters (14:33):
Yeah, I believe that, and you know, in one of
your podcasts you talk aboutnourishing that ecosystem of
people around you.
Christian Ray Flores (14:40):
Yes, that's true.
Lisa Peters (14:41):
So they can help you grow and nurture.
Those are the people that loveyou, those are the people
that'll be there thick and thin,you know, yeah, I love that
you think.
Christian Ray Flores (14:53):
It's just embarrassing.
You go they're laughing at mequite frankly.
You go, I deserve that .
i h .
Lisa Peters (15:01):
Yeah, you had to find out yourself.
Though sometimes, yeah, youjust arrive at a place where you
can't ignore it anymore.
Christian Ray Flores (15:10):
That's true.
Lisa Peters (15:11):
, second Our question talks a little bit
about bitabout a aprinciplesprinciples p I'm
wondering if you have a bestprinciple of success and if you
have a story that wouldillustrate that.
Christian Ray Flores (15:21):
Gosh, I do have one and I do have a story.
I became friends with thisbrilliant musician.
His name is George Duke.
He's Grammy award winning.
Has worked with some of thebrightest stars on the planet
musically jazz, pop across theboard, composer, producer,
(15:42):
singer, all of it and we wereworking on a project together.
And I mean, I grew up listeningto this guy.
So I find myself in his studiohanging out with George Duke and
being friends with him, whichis just insane.
So I'm like I'm going tointerview, I need to interview
George, and sort of soak in thewisdom.
So I did this interview with himand one of the questions that I
(16:03):
had was so you've worked withsome of the top people on the
planet.
Is there a common trait thatyou saw from the geniuses that
you work with?
And I thought I had thesequestions or answers in my head
Probably hard work, creativity,talent.
(16:23):
There's a number of things.
And he told me he said no, no,he says I think what they all
have in common is that they canimagine themselves succeeding
and to me, that became one ofthe core things.
Now that I think about it.
One of the core things forsuccess is creating a rhythm of
(16:45):
life and the ability to be in astate where you can imagine,
where you can really picturewhat the future holds.
And the thing is, you can'treally do that if you're always
stressed out, if you don't rest,if you don't have spaces to
imagine, if you don't havedelight and joy.
That doesn't happen.
(17:06):
That's why creative people arealways the top everything in
creativity.
You can be a writer, a painter,a musician.
I don't know if you know this,but as somebody like that, I can
tell you we have, if we're inthat top place of creativity, we
have lots of downtime, Likecomplete downtime.
(17:27):
We do nothing, we don't do nineto five, seriously, like.
Talk to any painter, any writer.
They have months, weeks, days,for sure in the week, where
they're just there, right, why?
Because in the emptiness,something happens Imagination
starts stirring up, right, andimagination is the key to
(17:51):
imagining a new future.
Now, obviously, most of us inthe audience probably don't have
that luxury.
I used to have that luxury.
I don't have that luxuryanymore, right, but I used to
have that luxury where I can go.
Eh, I'm going to do nothing fora week.
Then I'm going to write somesongs, right, because the best
songs are written that way.
It's not a machine.
(18:14):
You have to nurture this thing.
So now I think it's creating thespaces, even in a busy schedule
, where that is nurtured andprotected, a space for quiet, a
space for imagination, a spacefor joy, even that sort of sense
of delight.
(18:35):
That is the vitamin.
This is a catalyst ofcreativity, right Delight.
And we live in a society thatis so high strung, so distracted
and so stressed out.
Delight is the least peoplethink as a normal thing.
This is like the privilege ofthe few, but that's what they
think.
But the truth is that's theessential part of actually being
(19:02):
a successful person.
I can promise you that.
Talk to anybody who looks very,very busy and they have these
times of nothingness, of justpure joy, relaxation, because
that's where the ideas that aregame changers come about.
Lisa Peters (19:15):
Yeah, and as you know, and just coming out of
being a full time working mother, I'm on the empty nester side
now.
Christian Ray Flores (19:22):
Me too.
Lisa Peters (19:23):
Yeah h, I think I'm , and I'm free.
Sorry, Ellie and Ty, my kidslistening it is.
You know, empty nesting isawesome, but we just came out
of that busy time where I thinkwe never made time for ourselves
right.
We were always running, we werealways filling filling cups of
everyone else and not our own.
I loved your comment aboutimagine yourself succeeding,
(19:46):
because if you don't, no oneelse will.
Right, and if you don't and Ialways think of if I don't write
my day and how my day willhappen someone else will.
Christian Ray Flores (19:56):
I just show my calendar.
Lisa Peters (19:58):
And so if I don't believe, why would anyone else
believe?
Christian Ray Flores (20:02):
But you can create the habits to be in
that place over and over andover again.
Quite literally, I think it'simportant to have it every day.
Lisa Peters (20:09):
Yeah, do you get it every day?
Do you have like?
Christian Ray Flores (20:12):
I do.
Lisa Peters (20:13):
Do you have?
I'm up at 5.15 to find thattime to have my quiet time.
Christian Ray Flores (20:16):
That's exactly, I'm the 5 am club 5 am
club Yay, high five.
I'm up on average between 5 and5.30, with no alarm.
I'm just up and that's the time, that's the treasure, that's
where I can write for two hoursstraight with no distractions,
(20:38):
listening to Johann SebastianBach and lighting a candle, and
journal and think and write andbe in this sort of place where
nothing demands my attention.
And then you add to thatlearning, you read something
that you want to be better at.
It could be anything fromhaving a better marriage, better
relationships, be better insales, all of that.
(20:59):
Then you add physical exerciseto that.
That's my formula.
So I have like three hours ofthat.
In the beginning of the day,before people are having
breakfast, I'm alreadysupercharged with rocket fuel,
you know, and the rest of theday is now fueled by that and
shaped by that, and that's sortof that's the life of a high
(21:22):
performer and you can developthat.
Anybody can develop that.
I don't.
It doesn't.
It doesn't require resources.
It requires your desire to livea life of impact in a life of
joy, right?
yeah, I think uh, well Yeahwonder if sometimes look at you
and they go I wonder how hedoes it, or you know uh, they
(21:45):
just think it happens and itdoesn't just happen?
No, it does not no, and youhave to make an effort, you have
to have the discipline yeah, soyou either lower your goals or
you
That's it, that's it those are your
choices.
I mean seriously, yeah, likeyou can.
And and that's whereimagination runs out as a
resource right, if you, if you,if you can imagine yourself
(22:07):
succeeding at a high level, youaim high.
Now you have to develop thehabits to actually get you there
.
But if you don't develop thehabits, your goals are not going
to get you there.
Aspirations and goals youimagine, you manifest, all of
that stuff is nothing withouthabits and skills.
Lisa Peters (22:23):
Right.
Well, this kind of leads intomy next question about failures
and mistakes, because I think, Imean, we both know we probably
learn more from our failures andmistakes than our successes,
and I'm wondering if you'd bewilling to share a great failing
and what you learned from it.
Christian Ray Flores (22:39):
I can share all day long.
Right, I would say one and I'msharing this because I see that
in the people that I work with,because I am one of those people
High achievers over- invest intheir outer game and
under-invest in their inner game.
(23:00):
And inner game, I mean, it'sthe thing that the world doesn't
reward you for.
They will reward you for amusic show that moves an
audience.
They will reward you for abest-selling book, a design as
an engineer, a well-done pieceof architecture, something like
that.
They will reward you, give youmoney, you will be published,
(23:21):
you will be respected, you'llhave higher status, You'll have
a staff, you'll start your owncompany or you'll be a VP of
something right.
The world will reward you andyou keep investing in that
because you're rewarded forthose visible, short-term things
.
What the world will neverreward you for is character,
wisdom, love, being a goodhusband, being a good parent.
None of those skills arerewarded by the world at all, in
(23:43):
any shape, you know, becauseit's invisible and it's also a
longer arch.
It's just not noticeable.
So what happens with highachievers is that we double down
on the outer game, that weignore the inner game that we
need to not ignore.
And then the inner game catchesup with our outer game.
And now we can't do our outergame well at all because we're
stressed out, divorced, our kidsresent us.
(24:06):
We're burned out emotionallybecause we didn't get to care of
our emotional health, ourbodies falling apart because we
didn't respect and love our bodyall of those things right.
So for me, I was literally had anumber one hit in the charts.
I was campaigning for BorisYeltsin's campaign against the
communists.
He used my song as the anthemfor his election campaign and at
(24:30):
the same time, my inability tobuild a romantic relationship,
all of my anxieties to build aromantic relationship, all of my
anxieties, all of my traumafrom my parents' divorce, all
resulted in a breakup with agirlfriend who happened to be
pregnant and then had a baby,and then she cut me off because
I was such a jerk to her.
And I know I became very awarethat I do not know how to build
(24:52):
a family at all, like I don'tknow how to pick somebody to
love.
I don't know how to build arelationship, how to court a
woman, how to keep a woman.
I don't know any of thosethings.
My inner game in that area iszero.
That's it, you know.
And then what you do is you needto decide okay, are you going
(25:15):
to lower your goals andbasically say, yeah, I'm going
to be that idiot rock and rollguy who could never keep a woman
, could never build a strongfamily, probably goes to two,
three divorces, which isactually a lot of my friends.
That's what they are.
Or you can elevate your habits,your skills and your worldview,
and that's one.
(25:36):
For example, and luckily, I hada friend who was my first coach
actually, he's a pastorCanadian pastor, by the way
missionary and I basically said,hey, can you teach me how to do
this?
I don't know how to do this.
And he said, yes, I've been nowmarried for 25 years.
Happily, my kids don't resentme and love me, and that's a
(25:59):
mistake that turned into avictory, and I have many of
those.
I can go all day long about myfaults.
Lisa Peters (26:05):
Yeah, I love in that about overinvest in the
outer game and underinvest inthe inner game.
Christian Ray Flores (26:12):
Yeah.
Lisa Peters (26:13):
That is powerful and the story is powerful.
Christian Ray Flores (26:17):
Yeah, and it happens with people high
achievers everywhere.
Yeah, that is that is powerfuland the story is powerful.
Yeah, yeah, and it happens with, with people high achievers
everywhere, you know it's justclassic.
Lisa Peters (26:24):
Basically, yeah, thank you for sharing that.
That was a good, a goodreminder, thank you.
A leader impact and I know thatwe haven't talked a lot about
leader impact, but I think youknow, I, I think you can get it.
We want to grow personally,professionally and spiritually
for increasing impact.
You talked about it earlier.
We want to increase impact.
I'm wondering if you're willingto share an example of how the
(26:46):
spiritual makes a practicalimpact in your life as a leader.
Christian Ray Flores (26:52):
Well, for me it was a turning point.
I became a Christian late.
I grew up in a Marxist, atheisthousehold.
I know nothing about God.
I've never opened the Bible inmy life until the thing that
happened that I just told you.
And that pastor, that Canadianpastor.
He said I can teach you how todo this, how to build a family,
(27:16):
but I'll teach you from theBible.
I said all right, and beforethat I had complete disregard
and actually disrespect for theChristian faith.
I thought it was just for naive, stupid people.
That was sort of my posture andI started reading the Bible and
basically I mean I can tell youvery quickly that, look you can
(27:37):
.
I love science.
I like I love psychology,neuroscience.
I interview some of the toppeople on the planet on my
podcast that specialize inresearch.
All of that stuff is reallyreally good and really important
.
But it's been around for maybe150 years.
The Bible has been around forthousands and thousands of years
(27:59):
.
Ancient wisdom is not lessrelevant with time.
It's actually more relevantbecause science discovers what
changes in the human nature.
But the deepest things thatnever change, this is faith.
This is ancient wisdom, and thebible taught me about everything
that matters actually,fundamentally, it teaches you
(28:21):
about how do you deal, what'sthe place of money in your life.
You know that's a journey juston its own, like how do you
think of money?
How do you think of impact andleadership in general?
Leadership without faith isself-seeking.
Leadership with faith isservant leadership.
That's like foundationallydifferent, like opposite things.
(28:42):
You build a life on servantleadership.
You're going to have a verydifferent outcome.
And the list goes on and onPower, sex, marriage, parenting,
legacy, death, eternity.
How do you fit in the in the,in the plan of the universe?
Is there a moral code?
And if there is a moral code,what would you give to learn it
(29:06):
and how would that influencereality?
And to me, that's, that's it.
That's, that's the stuff, right?
Everything else is secondaryand easy to learn.
Lisa Peters (29:15):
Learn the foundational laws of the
universe and you'll be a winnerin life yeah, yeah, uh, that was
good, good example, um, I think, of people that are listening
and, uh, um, your comments justabout a leader without faith and
(29:37):
a leader with faith, and thedifference and, um, I wonder if
people don't get it.
Sometimes they just think youknow leadership, right, we, we
have so many books and I'm notsure if, and I'm sure you can
actually define, when you read aleadership book, you know that
that a Christian wrote it, canyou?
Christian Ray Flores (29:56):
would you say that?
Yeah, I think so.
Servant leadership is thedefining characteristic, that is
, you know, like you look at thehistory of humanity and the
powerful always wins, andChristian leadership is the weak
are victorious.
I mean it's literallyimpossible to fake Like this, is
(30:19):
it?
This is the one prophet who wasweak, who was put on a cross,
and he was victorious over death, over everything, and we are
victorious through him overdeath.
I mean it doesn't get morepowerful than that and more
opposite than that, and ofcourse, everything downstream
from that is very, very clearlyChristian.
(30:39):
I mean, it doesn't get morepowerful than that and more
opposite than that, right, andof course, everything downstream
from that is very, very clearlyChristian.
As a matter of fact, it's reallyinteresting because in the West
we have more and more peoplethat say they're not Christian.
Right, or some of them areatheists, of course, and stuff
like that.
But the values that they have,the ideals of freedom, of the
(31:02):
sanctity of life, of marriage,of family, of justice, of social
justice, of women's rights, ofhow things should be, all of
these things are from the Bibleoriginally.
So there's somebody who saidthat I forget who I quote.
(31:25):
But basically, even atheists inthe West have Christian dreams
Because it's there, it's in theair in the United States and
Western Europe and places likethat, and you can be a
completely secular person, butyour values are still derived
from these ideas that we read inscripture, so you can't get rid
of them if you're in the West.
You are the product of them.
Lisa Peters (31:48):
Right, good, we have two last questions for you,
and the one is just aboutlasting impact.
So, when you leave this world,well, as you continue through
your own journey, yeah, you know, one day you are going to leave
this world and wondering whatyou want your faith legacy to be
when you leave this world.
Christian Ray Flores (32:06):
Oh man that's a big, that's a big one,
yeah.
Lisa Peters (32:08):
I have to tell you, I was listening to I podcast
and it was um, what happensafter death and how it?
Christian Ray Flores (32:21):
yeah, yeah , yeah and uh oh it was good, oh
my gosh.
Yes, john burke.
Yeah, for you in the audience.
I interviewed john burke and hewrote several books on life
after death, near-deathexperiences, and he interviewed
a bunch of people that arecompletely from different
religions, ethnic backgrounds,cultural backgrounds, and what
they saw in how it match matcheswhat we read in the Bible.
It's just incredible.
(32:42):
So you can look it up on mypodcast, but you know, I I it's.
It's a very good question and Ithink for me, and all I want is
to sort of hear the voice welldone, good and faithful servant.
Honestly, that's it right,Because it doesn't really matter
(33:05):
what my aspirations are.
What really matters is what hisaspirations are for me and that
I match those aspirations.
That's really the aspiration.
That's the aspiration is theperson who is now living,
breathing, making all kinds ofmistakes, messing up, trying.
You know, again and again andagain, when I get to that time
(33:31):
where you transition intoeternity, the person I meet on
the other side matches theperson that was here.
That's the aspiration you know,and that's the legacy, I think
right, because if I can get youknow many or a few people just
my family even to look at thatand go, that's how he lives,
(33:56):
like what he says on camera,what he says on stage is exactly
how he lives, this, how hebehaves, how he talks, how he
walks, and it's true, you know,um, I think that's an important
legacy to live that is a yeah,that is a great legacy to live
and to leave.
Lisa Peters (34:09):
Yeah, thank you.
And my final question and I'mexcited is what brings you the
greatest joy, christian?
Christian Ray Flores (34:18):
oh, wow, uh, is what brings you the
greatest joy, christian, oh wow,alignment with divine purposes.
I think, like you know, whenyou feel like you're exactly
where you're supposed to be, youknow just any given moment
(34:39):
right with your wife, and you'represent and you're loving her
wholly fully.
When with your friend, whenyou're on stage, when you're
helping someone in coaching ordoing branding and telling a
story, and you go, yeah, there'sa smile on God's face right now
(35:00):
.
Yeah, you know, those are themoments I live for.
Lisa Peters (35:04):
Yeah, Do you find those in every day?
Are there little moments ofyour day that you're like I'm
exactly where I'm supposed to be?
Christian Ray Flores (35:13):
I do, yeah , I do, and I think that's sort
of probably the secret, right?
Yeah, I do, and I think that'ssort of probably the secret,
right?
Is that you?
How do you navigate a life thatis full of fallen things,
including fallen things insideof you, where you, you know, you
experience the messiness of whoyou are.
(35:33):
You know the trauma, the PTSD,the doubts, the fear, the
anxiety, all that stuff that youdon't want but it's still there
.
It sort of pops up the envyperhaps, the jealousy, the
resentment.
So how do you combine that withmoments of pure alignment and
(35:54):
joy?
And then that pure alignmentand joy they sort of displace
this other stuff.
It just pushes it out and thenit comes again.
But you know how to displace itagain and again, and again.
And that's why I say that ifyou want higher goals, you have
to create these higher habits,this ability to be in a certain
(36:14):
state of being.
But it has to be every day,because you live every day.
It has to be in the mundane, inthe small things that nobody
sees, because from those littlemoments is how you build just
great achievements that impactother people and serve other
people.
Lisa Peters (36:30):
Well, that's a perfect way to end.
Christian Is it?
It is.
It's just.
You know, live our moments andkeep living.
I want to thank you, christian,for taking the time today,
because you are a busy guy tocatch up with and, as I said
before, when someone calls meand says you need to talk to
Christian, it's like I need totalk to Christian.
Christian Ray Flores (36:52):
I appreciate it very much.
Lisa Peters (36:52):
So you know, you've surrounded yourself with an
amazing family friends, peopleyou work with.
They are loving and supportingyou, so thanks for joining us
today.
Now, if anyone wants to findout more about you either and I
know you probably have a fewdifferent when I found you, it's
like finding your podcast,finding your blog, but what is a
great place for people just tofind you, connect with you.
Christian Ray Flores (37:16):
Well, I mean, I'm very easy to find
because you can just Google myname, my full name, christian
Ray Flores, and you'll see it onthe first page.
And I think two places that youmight want to look into.
One is I have this newsletter.
I think we have like 21,000subscribers now on Substack and
the URL is christianrayflorescom.
And it's free.
All new posts are free.
(37:39):
You can support us for like alatte a month if you want to
help support the production team.
It goes a lot of work, does alot of work for it.
Um, but that's where I sort ofyou know, I just put everything
I love there, so it's text, it'svideos, it's it's a podcast
like yours.
Like I'm going to put thatsomewhere right on the
newsletter and send it out.
(38:00):
Books that I'm reading, moviesI even put there hey, don't
watch this movie, it's terrible,right?
I did that recently for thefirst time.
Lisa Peters (38:08):
You're de-influencing.
Christian Ray Flores (38:09):
I'm de-influencing, that's right,
but that's a really good sort ofcentral thing.
Another place, if you want alittle bit more intentional
influence there's on my coachingwebsite, which is
exponentiallife without the Estarts with an X, the cool way
to spell exponential.
There's a button there you canaccess a scorecard that I
(38:33):
developed that I literally usewith all my clients, which is
basically the ability to assessthe most important dimensions of
life, from one to 10.
And then you see like a picture, like a snapshot of where
you're at, and it's a reallygood way, like it's a reality
check, right?
And whether it's, you know,high or low, it doesn't matter,
as long as you know where youare, because at least you can
(38:55):
use that as a starting point toget to your goals and start
building a different future.
Lisa Peters (39:00):
Yeah, got to mark a starting point somewhere.
Christian Ray Flores (39:03):
That's right.
Yeah, all right.
Lisa Peters (39:04):
Well, thank you, Christian, for spending time
with us today.
Christian Ray Flores (39:07):
Lisa, it was just a joy and a pleasure.
Thank you All, right.
Lisa Peters (39:11):
Well, if you're part of Leader Impact, you can
always discuss or share thispodcast with your group.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find more, grow your leadership.
Find our podcast page on ourwebsite at leaderimpactca and
check out our free leadershipassessment.
You'll also find on our webpagechapter one of Braden Douglas's
book Becoming a Leader ofImpact.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
(39:33):
leaderimpactca or, if you'relistening from anywhere else in
the world, check outleaderimpactcom or get in touch
with us by email.
Info at leader impactca.
And if you like this podcast,please leave us a comment, give
us a rating or review.
This will help other globalleaders find our podcast.
Thank you for engaging with usand remember impact starts with
(39:53):
you.
Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
We're a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living this out.
We love talking with leaders,so if you have any questions,
comments or suggestions to makethis show even better, please
(00:27):
let us know.
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is through our
newsletter at leaderimpact.
ca or on social at Leader Impact.
If you're listening fromoutside of Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpactcom.
I'm your host today and ourguest today is Christian Ray
Flores.
Christian is an entrepreneur,international recording artist,
(00:48):
philanthropist and performancecoach.
His extraordinary journey froma child refugee in Chile to
entertaining millions as a popstar in Eastern Europe, leading
philanthropic projectsinternationally, to founding
entrepreneurial projects in theUS, makes Christian a uniquely
dynamic speaker and compellingleader.
With a master's degree ineconomics and fluency in four
(01:09):
languages, he is a versatilecommunicator.
Based in Austin, Texas, heco-founded Third Drive Media,
creating award-winning mediaprojects and raising millions
for startups, and the non-profitAscend Mission Fund serving
children in Mozambique andUkraine.
Through Exponential, Christianempowers business and non-profit
(01:31):
leaders to reach and stay atthe top of their game.
He is the host of the podcastHeadspace by Christian Ray
Flores and author of Little Bookof Big Reasons to Love America.
Welcome to the show, Christian.
Christian Ray Flores (01:45):
Thanks for having me, Lisa.
Lisa Peters (01:48):
An amazing bio and I'm super excited to talk to you
, but I have to share that whensomeone calls me and says you
need to talk to Christian, thatmakes me think of the people you
surround yourself with.
Absolutely love you.
Huge, huge kudos to that, thatperson that called me, and so
(02:08):
thank you for just taking thetime, because reading this was
just..
.
Your bio is incredible andlooking you up was a joy, so
thank you.
Christian Ray Flores (02:19):
Was it?
There's a lot, there's a lotthere.
A lot of it could be joy, itcould be huh, really?
A lot of hair.
If you look it up on youtubeYouTube 90s hair, right.
?
Lisa Peters (02:29):
So when you were the rock star.
Yes, yes, there's a great flow.
We definitely talk about ourjourneys, and I want to hear a
little bit about yours, aboutyour professional journey and
how you got to where you aretoday.
And, most importantly, we wantto hear about those pivots.
You know the pivotal turningpoints along that journey and I
(02:53):
was excited.
Interestingly, I listened to apodcast of yours today and you
talked about the three secretsto lasting fulfillment and one
of those was knowing where topivot and knowing sort of when
to pivot.
So you know if you can share alittle bit more.
I know we had a quick bio, butwhat about your life and those
(03:13):
pivots?
Christian Ray Flores (03:15):
Okay.
So thank you for asking thatquestion, because I think that
is the one thing that peopleignore.
We ignore the whisper of thesoul, and the whisper usually
doesn't go away when we ignoreit.
It just gets louder and louderand louder.
And we can suppress it, we canrationalize it away, but if we
(03:38):
pay attention, if we just quietourselves, it might give us the
next thing, the next term, thenext season, the next
opportunity, the next portal toa new reality, a new future.
So I really believe in healthypivots.
The painful thing about that isthat everything about us
resists potential suffering, andthat's why we don't pay
(04:01):
attention.
So status quo is what we wantto maintain, even if we're
suffering, even if our statusquo is terrible, right?
Leaving it in any fundamentalway is a painful uncertainty.
So we just go oh, maybe nottoday, maybe I won't fix this
today, maybe I won't changethings, maybe I won't change.
(04:24):
So I'll give you a very few,like a splattering of pivots,
and then we can go into whateverrabbit hole that you choose to
go down to.
So, for example, I'll give youvery quick ones.
So I graduate with a master'sdegree in economics.
I speak four differentlanguages.
My people, my peers are goingto banking, finance,
(04:46):
international trade.
And I was musical, my wholelife, and I danced and I was an
entertainer.
So I have both these worlds inmy heart.
And I go, You know, the odds ofsomebody succeeding as a
musician is like zero, or veryclose to that.
But what if?
That was a whisper from my souland I remember sort of
(05:09):
wrestling with it.
I was working in thisinternational trade company,
bored out of my mind, and I'mlike you know what I need to
stop.
So I just stopped, went away.
I went to Chile, to the Andesmountains, and I thought about
it and I'm like you know whatI'm gonna do it.
Just just years later I I wasplaying sports arenas across 15
different countries.
Then I'm riding on a train ridewith my crew.
(05:32):
Now I have an entourage, 21people work for me.
We're going from city to cityto city and I'm looking out the
window and I sort of scaremyself with this one very
specific thought.
And the thought was is this allthere is for me?
And I find myself dissatisfiedbecause there's these areas of
(05:54):
me that were dormant, eventhough I'm enjoying this
incredible life.
I mean just what a joy and aprivilege and how lucky I am
that I would write songs in mykitchen table or in the subway
and then all of a sudden I seethousands of people singing
those songs back to me.
right From 15 differentcountries.
But there were parts of me thatwere dissatisfied.
(06:15):
became a Christian at the time.
I wanted to help peoplespiritually.
I grew up in the third world.
I wanted to do philanthropy.
I wanted to do entrepreneurialthings.
I wanted to do not things justin that area, because I'm an
international guy and I felt alittle claustrophobic, let's put
it that way.
So all these dormant parts thatI mean, I have .
(06:37):
nothing It's certain, I justhave this whisper.
So I go back to my team and Igo hey, guys, I'm going to
transition out of it.
Everybody freaks out, thinksI'm crazy, and I start doing
spiritual work, ministry work,philanthropic work.
Then we moved to the US a fewTexas years later with my wife
Deb.
She's American and wephilanthropy.
(07:00):
So I am over nine countries,projects for a big charity it's
fantastic and a national projectas well.
So like double roles and I'velearned so much.
It's remarkable and we help alot of people.
And then I'm sitting there andwe're in LA by the time, and I'm
sitting there with Deb and Iremember she like brushing her
teeth and I go I think I want tostart my own company.
(07:21):
Like there's a whisper, there'syou whisper, there's a shift in
the force.
And she goes what are youtalking about?
You're doing this other stuff.
And I go I think I want to domusic videos and music
production, because there's allthese Hollywood producers here
and I know all these people overthere and you used to work for
MTV and VH1.
Maybe we can do a little nichething here.
(07:43):
And that's how our productioncompany was born and it was like
complete.
We don't know if anything'sgoing to work at all until it
does.
A few years later we're inAustin, Third texas Drive and
we're sort of doing a businessesof everything right.
So we have this productioncompany and It we decided to
plant It was church because itwas and Craigslist That's
(08:05):
community.
That is a non-mega church small.
Everybody knows each other'sname.
It's very connected, veryauthentic, and we had this
vision and we go well, let's goplant a church.
We have this business tosupport us.
Let's go plant a church.
So we plant a church.
And that's another whisper.
Right, right, we should makethat shift.
(08:26):
And course it's risky andsometimes you pay very dearly
for the pivots and we did,because the business that was
supported us there.
It sort of fell through becausethe market went away.
So now entertainer we're goinginto debt.
Things are really rough.
Okay, we can leave the high- orand do something else.
so I can go look right, or wecan pivot.
(08:49):
So we start a new company calledthird drive and we start doing
marketing for businessesnon-profit, non-profits,
startups, that kind of thingfrom nothing.
I was just nothing.
I like me a camera incraigslist.
You know that's, that's thecompany.
And then that evolves, you know.
And and then a few years later,another whisper is look you,
(09:11):
you've done all this stuff.
You've mentored all thesepeople for your whole life, as a
pastor, as a business leader,as an attainer.
Coaching is an interestingthing because you get the
undivided attention of a highlevel professional who you can
help and you can.
They have impact and you haveimpact through them.
And I had all this, all thismassive amounts of research and
(09:36):
knowledge and life experience,and I've interviewed some of the
top, you know experts in humanflourishing on my podcast.
Like this is something.
This is a treasure, right, Ineed to put it somewhere.
And then we start Exponential,which is my performance coaching
.
So this is just literally aseries of small pivots and they
all start with a whisper in yoursoul, somewhere that you either
pay attention or you ignore it.
Lisa Peters (09:59):
And have you ever ignored a whisper?
Christian Ray Flores (10:03):
That's a good question.
I think I can tell you at leastone time where I started a
YouTube channel, and I think itwas 2007 or something like that,
2008.
And it was just too hard.
I was insecure, I didn't knowif YouTube is going to be
anything.
And I look back and I go, oh mygosh, if I had started a
(10:25):
YouTube channel and kept goingevery week, I would have
improved, I would have beenmassive right now.
And I didn't do it.
So I did ignore at least onewhisper.
I'm sure I ignored more thanthat.
Lisa Peters (10:36):
When you ignore a whisper, so the YouTube example,
did it ever come back to you?
I found I am loving when youtalk about the whisper.
I feel the whisper and when Iignore the whisper, the whisper
comes a little harder at me.
And then I feel like at timesit's like there's a brick coming
at me, like, look, I'm tellingyou, do this.
(10:59):
Does that happen to anyone elsebut me?
Christian Ray Flores (11:01):
Oh totally , it totally does.
And then you struggle withregret.
You go, oh my gosh.
I wish I had a podcast 10 yearsago.
I wish I had a YouTube channel.
But, yeah, I wish I'd written abook 10 years ago, 15 years ago
.
have done it perfectly well,you know, and I just didn't do
it because it's hard, becausethere are other things going on
(11:22):
and also, maybe maybe at thevery core, I didn't know if it
was going to be successful andif people are going to go,
whatever, and that's sort of thenormal thing.
So I think there's a lot ofthings like that that were
whispered to me that I ignored.
Eventually, it sort of doesn'tgo away, especially if you're
paying attention.
And I think overcoming thatregret it's a big part of moving
(11:47):
on and just grabbing on tosuccess.
And now I have a podcast, Ihave a newsletter, you know.
I have a YouTube channel.
I just wrote a book that I'mreleasing in the fall, and the
best time to write a book is 10years ago.
I get it, but the next besttime is now, you know.
So so I'm doing all thosethings now and I'm really
(12:07):
excited about it.
Lisa Peters (12:09):
I'm glad you brought up the word regret,
cause I think a lot of peoplemay feel they regret.
I never want to look at regretLike I should have.
You know I'm just.
I'm going to move forward andlearn.
I want to believe that I madethe best decision at the time
that it happened and you know,so I didn't have a YouTube
channel 10 years ago.
(12:30):
The best time is right now.
I want to believe that and youknow I have no scientific theory
, it just makes me happy.
Christian Ray Flores (13:43):
Another brick is another whisper, rather
in the form of a brick is thethings that you keep doing that
are not helping you, and yousort of know, and you know this,
and then you sort of push itaway or rationalize it or
delegate it or just completelyignore it and then eventually
that that comes back as a brick.
So, for example, for me, youknow I have sort of this
professional ADHD condition.
I do like more than one thing.
So I eventually ended up doinglike four different things.
I'm pastoring this church, Ihave a nonprofit that I started
in Mozambique, a school academy,I have the Third Drive Media
Company and the coaching fourthings.
And I'm at this and then Istart, you know, I think about
it and you know it sort ofcatches up with you because now
you can't really do it all well.
There's cash flow problemsbecause you're not focusing,
there's time managementproblems, there's all kinds of
things that suffer, right.
So you become excellence,starts suffering tremendously,
even if you're ahigh-performance person.
I am right and so you feel thepain, you feel that brick really
landing on you and you starttalking to people that know you,
like my wife, like you knowwhat I get it.
I feel like I need to focus andthey look at you, your friends
you know, who love you, who'vetalked to you a thousand times
about it, and they go.
You think?
Like it's like everybody knowsthis, everybody knows this.
I don't understand how youdon't know this right.
So I think that the lesson fromthat is listen to your friends.
Stop ignoring when people hinton things.
You know people don't want tobe getting in your face, but
stop ignoring the loving adviceof good mentors, and your spouse
especially your spouse.
Listen to your wife, becausethey will save you from a lot of
pain if you pay attention.
Lisa Peters (14:33):
Yeah, I believe that, and you know, in one of
your podcasts you talk aboutnourishing that ecosystem of
people around you.
Christian Ray Flores (14:40):
Yes, that's true.
Lisa Peters (14:41):
So they can help you grow and nurture.
Those are the people that loveyou, those are the people
that'll be there thick and thin,you know, yeah, I love that
you think.
Christian Ray Flores (14:53):
It's just embarrassing.
You go they're laughing at mequite frankly.
You go, I deserve that .
i h .
Lisa Peters (15:01):
Yeah, you had to find out yourself.
Though sometimes, yeah, youjust arrive at a place where you
can't ignore it anymore.
Christian Ray Flores (15:10):
That's true.
Lisa Peters (15:11):
, second Our question talks a little bit
about bitabout a aprinciplesprinciples p I'm
wondering if you have a bestprinciple of success and if you
have a story that wouldillustrate that.
Christian Ray Flores (15:21):
Gosh, I do have one and I do have a story.
I became friends with thisbrilliant musician.
His name is George Duke.
He's Grammy award winning.
Has worked with some of thebrightest stars on the planet
musically jazz, pop across theboard, composer, producer,
(15:42):
singer, all of it and we wereworking on a project together.
And I mean, I grew up listeningto this guy.
So I find myself in his studiohanging out with George Duke and
being friends with him, whichis just insane.
So I'm like I'm going tointerview, I need to interview
George, and sort of soak in thewisdom.
So I did this interview with himand one of the questions that I
(16:03):
had was so you've worked withsome of the top people on the
planet.
Is there a common trait thatyou saw from the geniuses that
you work with?
And I thought I had thesequestions or answers in my head
Probably hard work, creativity,talent.
(16:23):
There's a number of things.
And he told me he said no, no,he says I think what they all
have in common is that they canimagine themselves succeeding
and to me, that became one ofthe core things.
Now that I think about it.
One of the core things forsuccess is creating a rhythm of
(16:45):
life and the ability to be in astate where you can imagine,
where you can really picturewhat the future holds.
And the thing is, you can'treally do that if you're always
stressed out, if you don't rest,if you don't have spaces to
imagine, if you don't havedelight and joy.
That doesn't happen.
(17:06):
That's why creative people arealways the top everything in
creativity.
You can be a writer, a painter,a musician.
I don't know if you know this,but as somebody like that, I can
tell you we have, if we're inthat top place of creativity, we
have lots of downtime, Likecomplete downtime.
(17:27):
We do nothing, we don't do nineto five, seriously, like.
Talk to any painter, any writer.
They have months, weeks, days,for sure in the week, where
they're just there, right, why?
Because in the emptiness,something happens Imagination
starts stirring up, right, andimagination is the key to
(17:51):
imagining a new future.
Now, obviously, most of us inthe audience probably don't have
that luxury.
I used to have that luxury.
I don't have that luxuryanymore, right, but I used to
have that luxury where I can go.
Eh, I'm going to do nothing fora week.
Then I'm going to write somesongs, right, because the best
songs are written that way.
It's not a machine.
(18:14):
You have to nurture this thing.
So now I think it's creating thespaces, even in a busy schedule
, where that is nurtured andprotected, a space for quiet, a
space for imagination, a spacefor joy, even that sort of sense
of delight.
(18:35):
That is the vitamin.
This is a catalyst ofcreativity, right Delight.
And we live in a society thatis so high strung, so distracted
and so stressed out.
Delight is the least peoplethink as a normal thing.
This is like the privilege ofthe few, but that's what they
think.
But the truth is that's theessential part of actually being
(19:02):
a successful person.
I can promise you that.
Talk to anybody who looks very,very busy and they have these
times of nothingness, of justpure joy, relaxation, because
that's where the ideas that aregame changers come about.
Lisa Peters (19:15):
Yeah, and as you know, and just coming out of
being a full time working mother, I'm on the empty nester side
now.
Christian Ray Flores (19:22):
Me too.
Lisa Peters (19:23):
Yeah h, I think I'm , and I'm free.
Sorry, Ellie and Ty, my kidslistening it is.
You know, empty nesting isawesome, but we just came out
of that busy time where I thinkwe never made time for ourselves
right.
We were always running, we werealways filling filling cups of
everyone else and not our own.
I loved your comment aboutimagine yourself succeeding,
(19:46):
because if you don't, no oneelse will.
Right, and if you don't and Ialways think of if I don't write
my day and how my day willhappen someone else will.
Christian Ray Flores (19:56):
I just show my calendar.
Lisa Peters (19:58):
And so if I don't believe, why would anyone else
believe?
Christian Ray Flores (20:02):
But you can create the habits to be in
that place over and over andover again.
Quite literally, I think it'simportant to have it every day.
Lisa Peters (20:09):
Yeah, do you get it every day?
Do you have like?
Christian Ray Flores (20:12):
I do.
Lisa Peters (20:13):
Do you have?
I'm up at 5.15 to find thattime to have my quiet time.
Christian Ray Flores (20:16):
That's exactly, I'm the 5 am club 5 am
club Yay, high five.
I'm up on average between 5 and5.30, with no alarm.
I'm just up and that's the time, that's the treasure, that's
where I can write for two hoursstraight with no distractions,
(20:38):
listening to Johann SebastianBach and lighting a candle, and
journal and think and write andbe in this sort of place where
nothing demands my attention.
And then you add to thatlearning, you read something
that you want to be better at.
It could be anything fromhaving a better marriage, better
relationships, be better insales, all of that.
(20:59):
Then you add physical exerciseto that.
That's my formula.
So I have like three hours ofthat.
In the beginning of the day,before people are having
breakfast, I'm alreadysupercharged with rocket fuel,
you know, and the rest of theday is now fueled by that and
shaped by that, and that's sortof that's the life of a high
(21:22):
performer and you can developthat.
Anybody can develop that.
I don't.
It doesn't.
It doesn't require resources.
It requires your desire to livea life of impact in a life of
joy, right?
yeah, I think uh, well Yeahwonder if sometimes look at you
and they go I wonder how hedoes it, or you know uh, they
(21:45):
just think it happens and itdoesn't just happen?
No, it does not no, and youhave to make an effort, you have
to have the discipline yeah, soyou either lower your goals or
you
That's it, that's it those are your
choices.
I mean seriously, yeah, likeyou can.
And and that's whereimagination runs out as a
resource right, if you, if you,if you can imagine yourself
(22:07):
succeeding at a high level, youaim high.
Now you have to develop thehabits to actually get you there
.
But if you don't develop thehabits, your goals are not going
to get you there.
Aspirations and goals youimagine, you manifest, all of
that stuff is nothing withouthabits and skills.
Lisa Peters (22:23):
Right.
Well, this kind of leads intomy next question about failures
and mistakes, because I think, Imean, we both know we probably
learn more from our failures andmistakes than our successes,
and I'm wondering if you'd bewilling to share a great failing
and what you learned from it.
Christian Ray Flores (22:39):
I can share all day long.
Right, I would say one and I'msharing this because I see that
in the people that I work with,because I am one of those people
High achievers over- invest intheir outer game and
under-invest in their inner game.
(23:00):
And inner game, I mean, it'sthe thing that the world doesn't
reward you for.
They will reward you for amusic show that moves an
audience.
They will reward you for abest-selling book, a design as
an engineer, a well-done pieceof architecture, something like
that.
They will reward you, give youmoney, you will be published,
(23:21):
you will be respected, you'llhave higher status, You'll have
a staff, you'll start your owncompany or you'll be a VP of
something right.
The world will reward you andyou keep investing in that
because you're rewarded forthose visible, short-term things
.
What the world will neverreward you for is character,
wisdom, love, being a goodhusband, being a good parent.
None of those skills arerewarded by the world at all, in
(23:43):
any shape, you know, becauseit's invisible and it's also a
longer arch.
It's just not noticeable.
So what happens with highachievers is that we double down
on the outer game, that weignore the inner game that we
need to not ignore.
And then the inner game catchesup with our outer game.
And now we can't do our outergame well at all because we're
stressed out, divorced, our kidsresent us.
(24:06):
We're burned out emotionallybecause we didn't get to care of
our emotional health, ourbodies falling apart because we
didn't respect and love our bodyall of those things right.
So for me, I was literally had anumber one hit in the charts.
I was campaigning for BorisYeltsin's campaign against the
communists.
He used my song as the anthemfor his election campaign and at
(24:30):
the same time, my inability tobuild a romantic relationship,
all of my anxieties to build aromantic relationship, all of my
anxieties, all of my traumafrom my parents' divorce, all
resulted in a breakup with agirlfriend who happened to be
pregnant and then had a baby,and then she cut me off because
I was such a jerk to her.
And I know I became very awarethat I do not know how to build
(24:52):
a family at all, like I don'tknow how to pick somebody to
love.
I don't know how to build arelationship, how to court a
woman, how to keep a woman.
I don't know any of thosethings.
My inner game in that area iszero.
That's it, you know.
And then what you do is you needto decide okay, are you going
(25:15):
to lower your goals andbasically say, yeah, I'm going
to be that idiot rock and rollguy who could never keep a woman
, could never build a strongfamily, probably goes to two,
three divorces, which isactually a lot of my friends.
That's what they are.
Or you can elevate your habits,your skills and your worldview,
and that's one.
(25:36):
For example, and luckily, I hada friend who was my first coach
actually, he's a pastorCanadian pastor, by the way
missionary and I basically said,hey, can you teach me how to do
this?
I don't know how to do this.
And he said, yes, I've been nowmarried for 25 years.
Happily, my kids don't resentme and love me, and that's a
(25:59):
mistake that turned into avictory, and I have many of
those.
I can go all day long about myfaults.
Lisa Peters (26:05):
Yeah, I love in that about overinvest in the
outer game and underinvest inthe inner game.
Christian Ray Flores (26:12):
Yeah.
Lisa Peters (26:13):
That is powerful and the story is powerful.
Christian Ray Flores (26:17):
Yeah, and it happens with people high
achievers everywhere.
Yeah, that is that is powerfuland the story is powerful.
Yeah, yeah, and it happens with, with people high achievers
everywhere, you know it's justclassic.
Lisa Peters (26:24):
Basically, yeah, thank you for sharing that.
That was a good, a goodreminder, thank you.
A leader impact and I know thatwe haven't talked a lot about
leader impact, but I think youknow, I, I think you can get it.
We want to grow personally,professionally and spiritually
for increasing impact.
You talked about it earlier.
We want to increase impact.
I'm wondering if you're willingto share an example of how the
(26:46):
spiritual makes a practicalimpact in your life as a leader.
Christian Ray Flores (26:52):
Well, for me it was a turning point.
I became a Christian late.
I grew up in a Marxist, atheisthousehold.
I know nothing about God.
I've never opened the Bible inmy life until the thing that
happened that I just told you.
And that pastor, that Canadianpastor.
He said I can teach you how todo this, how to build a family,
(27:16):
but I'll teach you from theBible.
I said all right, and beforethat I had complete disregard
and actually disrespect for theChristian faith.
I thought it was just for naive, stupid people.
That was sort of my posture andI started reading the Bible and
basically I mean I can tell youvery quickly that, look you can
(27:37):
.
I love science.
I like I love psychology,neuroscience.
I interview some of the toppeople on the planet on my
podcast that specialize inresearch.
All of that stuff is reallyreally good and really important
.
But it's been around for maybe150 years.
The Bible has been around forthousands and thousands of years
(27:59):
.
Ancient wisdom is not lessrelevant with time.
It's actually more relevantbecause science discovers what
changes in the human nature.
But the deepest things thatnever change, this is faith.
This is ancient wisdom, and thebible taught me about everything
that matters actually,fundamentally, it teaches you
(28:21):
about how do you deal, what'sthe place of money in your life.
You know that's a journey juston its own, like how do you
think of money?
How do you think of impact andleadership in general?
Leadership without faith isself-seeking.
Leadership with faith isservant leadership.
That's like foundationallydifferent, like opposite things.
(28:42):
You build a life on servantleadership.
You're going to have a verydifferent outcome.
And the list goes on and onPower, sex, marriage, parenting,
legacy, death, eternity.
How do you fit in the in the,in the plan of the universe?
Is there a moral code?
And if there is a moral code,what would you give to learn it
(29:06):
and how would that influencereality?
And to me, that's, that's it.
That's, that's the stuff, right?
Everything else is secondaryand easy to learn.
Lisa Peters (29:15):
Learn the foundational laws of the
universe and you'll be a winnerin life yeah, yeah, uh, that was
good, good example, um, I think, of people that are listening
and, uh, um, your comments justabout a leader without faith and
(29:37):
a leader with faith, and thedifference and, um, I wonder if
people don't get it.
Sometimes they just think youknow leadership, right, we, we
have so many books and I'm notsure if, and I'm sure you can
actually define, when you read aleadership book, you know that
that a Christian wrote it, canyou?
Christian Ray Flores (29:56):
would you say that?
Yeah, I think so.
Servant leadership is thedefining characteristic, that is
, you know, like you look at thehistory of humanity and the
powerful always wins, andChristian leadership is the weak
are victorious.
I mean it's literallyimpossible to fake Like this, is
(30:19):
it?
This is the one prophet who wasweak, who was put on a cross,
and he was victorious over death, over everything, and we are
victorious through him overdeath.
I mean it doesn't get morepowerful than that and more
opposite than that, and ofcourse, everything downstream
from that is very, very clearlyChristian.
(30:39):
I mean, it doesn't get morepowerful than that and more
opposite than that, right, andof course, everything downstream
from that is very, very clearlyChristian.
As a matter of fact, it's reallyinteresting because in the West
we have more and more peoplethat say they're not Christian.
Right, or some of them areatheists, of course, and stuff
like that.
But the values that they have,the ideals of freedom, of the
(31:02):
sanctity of life, of marriage,of family, of justice, of social
justice, of women's rights, ofhow things should be, all of
these things are from the Bibleoriginally.
So there's somebody who saidthat I forget who I quote.
(31:25):
But basically, even atheists inthe West have Christian dreams
Because it's there, it's in theair in the United States and
Western Europe and places likethat, and you can be a
completely secular person, butyour values are still derived
from these ideas that we read inscripture, so you can't get rid
of them if you're in the West.
You are the product of them.
Lisa Peters (31:48):
Right, good, we have two last questions for you,
and the one is just aboutlasting impact.
So, when you leave this world,well, as you continue through
your own journey, yeah, you know, one day you are going to leave
this world and wondering whatyou want your faith legacy to be
when you leave this world.
Christian Ray Flores (32:06):
Oh man that's a big, that's a big one,
yeah.
Lisa Peters (32:08):
I have to tell you, I was listening to I podcast
and it was um, what happensafter death and how it?
Christian Ray Flores (32:21):
yeah, yeah , yeah and uh oh it was good, oh
my gosh.
Yes, john burke.
Yeah, for you in the audience.
I interviewed john burke and hewrote several books on life
after death, near-deathexperiences, and he interviewed
a bunch of people that arecompletely from different
religions, ethnic backgrounds,cultural backgrounds, and what
they saw in how it match matcheswhat we read in the Bible.
It's just incredible.
(32:42):
So you can look it up on mypodcast, but you know, I I it's.
It's a very good question and Ithink for me, and all I want is
to sort of hear the voice welldone, good and faithful servant.
Honestly, that's it right,Because it doesn't really matter
(33:05):
what my aspirations are.
What really matters is what hisaspirations are for me and that
I match those aspirations.
That's really the aspiration.
That's the aspiration is theperson who is now living,
breathing, making all kinds ofmistakes, messing up, trying.
You know, again and again andagain, when I get to that time
(33:31):
where you transition intoeternity, the person I meet on
the other side matches theperson that was here.
That's the aspiration you know,and that's the legacy, I think
right, because if I can get youknow many or a few people just
my family even to look at thatand go, that's how he lives,
(33:56):
like what he says on camera,what he says on stage is exactly
how he lives, this, how hebehaves, how he talks, how he
walks, and it's true, you know,um, I think that's an important
legacy to live that is a yeah,that is a great legacy to live
and to leave.
Lisa Peters (34:09):
Yeah, thank you.
And my final question and I'mexcited is what brings you the
greatest joy, christian?
Christian Ray Flores (34:18):
oh, wow, uh, is what brings you the
greatest joy, christian, oh wow,alignment with divine purposes.
I think, like you know, whenyou feel like you're exactly
where you're supposed to be, youknow just any given moment
(34:39):
right with your wife, and you'represent and you're loving her
wholly fully.
When with your friend, whenyou're on stage, when you're
helping someone in coaching ordoing branding and telling a
story, and you go, yeah, there'sa smile on God's face right now
(35:00):
.
Yeah, you know, those are themoments I live for.
Lisa Peters (35:04):
Yeah, Do you find those in every day?
Are there little moments ofyour day that you're like I'm
exactly where I'm supposed to be?
Christian Ray Flores (35:13):
I do, yeah , I do, and I think that's sort
of probably the secret, right?
Yeah, I do, and I think that'ssort of probably the secret,
right?
Is that you?
How do you navigate a life thatis full of fallen things,
including fallen things insideof you, where you, you know, you
experience the messiness of whoyou are.
(35:33):
You know the trauma, the PTSD,the doubts, the fear, the
anxiety, all that stuff that youdon't want but it's still there
.
It sort of pops up the envyperhaps, the jealousy, the
resentment.
So how do you combine that withmoments of pure alignment and
(35:54):
joy?
And then that pure alignmentand joy they sort of displace
this other stuff.
It just pushes it out and thenit comes again.
But you know how to displace itagain and again, and again.
And that's why I say that ifyou want higher goals, you have
to create these higher habits,this ability to be in a certain
(36:14):
state of being.
But it has to be every day,because you live every day.
It has to be in the mundane, inthe small things that nobody
sees, because from those littlemoments is how you build just
great achievements that impactother people and serve other
people.
Lisa Peters (36:30):
Well, that's a perfect way to end.
Christian Is it?
It is.
It's just.
You know, live our moments andkeep living.
I want to thank you, christian,for taking the time today,
because you are a busy guy tocatch up with and, as I said
before, when someone calls meand says you need to talk to
Christian, it's like I need totalk to Christian.
Christian Ray Flores (36:52):
I appreciate it very much.
Lisa Peters (36:52):
So you know, you've surrounded yourself with an
amazing family friends, peopleyou work with.
They are loving and supportingyou, so thanks for joining us
today.
Now, if anyone wants to findout more about you either and I
know you probably have a fewdifferent when I found you, it's
like finding your podcast,finding your blog, but what is a
great place for people just tofind you, connect with you.
Christian Ray Flores (37:16):
Well, I mean, I'm very easy to find
because you can just Google myname, my full name, christian
Ray Flores, and you'll see it onthe first page.
And I think two places that youmight want to look into.
One is I have this newsletter.
I think we have like 21,000subscribers now on Substack and
the URL is christianrayflorescom.
And it's free.
All new posts are free.
(37:39):
You can support us for like alatte a month if you want to
help support the production team.
It goes a lot of work, does alot of work for it.
Um, but that's where I sort ofyou know, I just put everything
I love there, so it's text, it'svideos, it's it's a podcast
like yours.
Like I'm going to put thatsomewhere right on the
newsletter and send it out.
(38:00):
Books that I'm reading, moviesI even put there hey, don't
watch this movie, it's terrible,right?
I did that recently for thefirst time.
Lisa Peters (38:08):
You're de-influencing.
Christian Ray Flores (38:09):
I'm de-influencing, that's right,
but that's a really good sort ofcentral thing.
Another place, if you want alittle bit more intentional
influence there's on my coachingwebsite, which is
exponentiallife without the Estarts with an X, the cool way
to spell exponential.
There's a button there you canaccess a scorecard that I
(38:33):
developed that I literally usewith all my clients, which is
basically the ability to assessthe most important dimensions of
life, from one to 10.
And then you see like a picture, like a snapshot of where
you're at, and it's a reallygood way, like it's a reality
check, right?
And whether it's, you know,high or low, it doesn't matter,
as long as you know where youare, because at least you can
(38:55):
use that as a starting point toget to your goals and start
building a different future.
Lisa Peters (39:00):
Yeah, got to mark a starting point somewhere.
Christian Ray Flores (39:03):
That's right.
Yeah, all right.
Lisa Peters (39:04):
Well, thank you, Christian, for spending time
with us today.
Christian Ray Flores (39:07):
Lisa, it was just a joy and a pleasure.
Thank you All, right.
Lisa Peters (39:11):
Well, if you're part of Leader Impact, you can
always discuss or share thispodcast with your group.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find more, grow your leadership.
Find our podcast page on ourwebsite at leaderimpactca and
check out our free leadershipassessment.
You'll also find on our webpagechapter one of Braden Douglas's
book Becoming a Leader ofImpact.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
(39:33):
leaderimpactca or, if you'relistening from anywhere else in
the world, check outleaderimpactcom or get in touch
with us by email.
Info at leader impactca.
And if you like this podcast,please leave us a comment, give
us a rating or review.
This will help other globalleaders find our podcast.
Thank you for engaging with usand remember impact starts with
(39:53):
you.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.