November 12, 2025 • 46 mins
A candid journey from collapsed plans to renewed purpose, guided by grace, grit, and a fierce commitment to mental health advocacy. Dr. C shares how faith, family, and self-acceptance shaped her leadership and her resolve to stop dimming her light.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
We are a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional, andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living thisout.
We love talking with leaders,so if you have any questions,
comments, or suggestions to makethis show even better, please
(00:26):
let us know.
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is to our newsletter
at LeaderImpact.ca or on socialmedia at Leader Impact.
And if you're listening fromoutside of Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpact.com.
I'm your host, Lisa Peters, andour guest today is Comfort
Payne, otherwise known as Dr.
C.
She calls herself a viciouslyprivate, imperfect lady of
(00:48):
elegance, a woman whose strengthwas shaped not in comfort but
through the courage, faith, andgrace.
With over a decade ofexperience in mental and public
health, Dr.
C has made it her mission tochallenge stigma and breaking
barriers surrounding mentalwell-being in marginalized and
vulnerable communities.
Guided by her natural gift ofempathy and discernment, she
(01:09):
creates spaces where honestyreplaces silence, where the
conversations we often avoidbecome the ones that heal,
inspire, and ignite change.
Poised, warm, andunapologetically herself, with a
quiet strength and a flair forfashion that speaks as boldly as
her purpose.
Please welcome Dr.
C to the Leader Impact Podcast.
(01:30):
Welcome to the show.
Hello.
Speaker (01:36):
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Can I do something reallyunorthodox?
Yes, yes.
Could I say a short prayer forus?
Would that be okay?
Is that allowed?
That is allowed, Dr.
Okay, okay.
Father, I just want to saythank you for this wonderful
(01:57):
opportunity to just be presenthere and to be in the presence
of Miss Lisa Peters.
I thank you because I feel sohumbled to have a space to share
my story and hopefully I willtouch some hearts.
I ask for you to speak throughme and I ask for this to be such
(02:20):
a warm and lovely conversationin Jesus' name.
Amen.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Amen.
Speaker (02:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Thanks, Dr.
C.
unknown (02:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I just love listening to you.
I have to ask, can you can youtell us where's the accent from?
Speaker (02:33):
Yes, I'll put on my glasses so I can see you a
little better.
Um I forgot to wear my contactlenses, so forgive me.
So I'm I'm originally from theUnited Kingdom.
unknown (02:45):
Okay.
Speaker (02:45):
That's where the accent's from.
I'm from the United Kingdom.
I'm from Southeast London to beprecise.
I'm from a little town calledBellingham.
Bellingham.
Yes, which is not too far fromKent.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Okay.
Yes.
Have to look that up on a map.
And your name, Comfort Payne.
Like, I'm not going anywhereuntil I know how Comfort Pain.
Speaker (03:07):
Yeah, yeah.
I think I you know, I won't saymy parents were humorous, they
weren't.
Um, it meant something specialto them, the name Comfort.
So Pain's my family name, andum Comfort was a name that later
on in life it seemed to be ofuh great um importance to them.
(03:29):
There was some tragedy in thefamily, and my name seemed to be
a breath of fresh air.
Um, once that happened, I thinkI filled that void with regards
to bringing comfort to thefamily.
So that's that's where the namecomes from.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Thank you for sharing that.
That was wonderful.
Yeah.
Well, I am looking forward totalking with you today.
I know a little bit more aboutyou, more than what I've said,
and I I'm I have loved uhreading about you, but um, I'd
like you to tell us a little bitmore about your professional
journey and how you got fromwhere you are to where you are
today, what you're doing.
But more importantly, thatthose pivotal that pivotal
(04:06):
moment that really um got youalong the journey.
Speaker (04:10):
Do you have one that you could share?
Yeah, so like I mentioned, I'moriginally from the United
Kingdom.
And my journey, I'll often say,isn't a straight line, it's um
a tapestry of woven, unexpecteddetours, some unfortunate
circumstances, and I'd say adash of divine intervention.
(04:33):
So that's that's how I wouldsum up my journey.
Um, so I'll start off bytelling you a bit about my um
educational background.
So I started education at theage of two.
So I say that because I justwant you to understand the um
just the background of educationto me as an individual.
(04:54):
So I started at the age of two.
My parents um I was quiteblessed, sent me to private
school for most of my um umeducational life from preschool,
um just before post-secondary,and I also had the opportunity
to go to boarding school.
I went to boarding school intwo different continents, and
(05:17):
um, I think that that experiencewas very important to me
because um it allowed me tobuild resilience um independent
and also uh an understanding ofthe fact that there are
different cultures out there,we're very different, but we
also have linings of similarity.
(05:39):
So I think I was very fortunateto be able to do that, to um
have been in boarding school,and um on the other hand, it it
did seem a bit odd.
I was about nine and ten when Iwent to boarding school for the
first time, and so it it wasunusual for me within the
(06:00):
community that I was raised, forum a child to have gone to
boarding school at such a youngage.
But I'm sure that my parentshad, you know, my best interests
at heart, and I'm sure theywould have a reason if you asked
them why they done that.
But raising myself and mysiblings, one of the things that
my parents would always instillonto us is the fact that we
(06:22):
were to see ourselves as headsand not the tails, and to see
ourselves as leaders and notfollowers, and most importantly,
for us to be mindful when weinteracted with people, they
would mention to us that younever know who people are, so be
mindful and respectful of whopeople are, and being the eldest
as well.
(06:42):
One of the other things wasthat I should carry myself in a
way that um I paid attention tomy younger ones, my cousins, and
so um emulating whatever it isthat I did.
So that kind of helped to shapethe way I carried myself, um,
and it was a bit of a burden attimes because in spaces where I
(07:06):
may have wanted to contradictsomething or maybe behave
slightly out of the box, I wasalways mindful because I
remembered what my parents wouldtell me about the fact that I
had people behind me that payingattention to what I did and how
I behaved, and so that'ssomething that I felt moulded my
(07:26):
fascination with human beingsand human behaviour.
And so, like I stated before, Iwent to boarding school in two
different continents, and withthat traveling bug at the age of
16, I um got my passport and Iregistered myself with a project
called Camp America, and Ibecame a camp counselor at the
(07:47):
age of 16.
And my parents they were veryum okay with it because they
felt I was quite mature enoughto do so, but I wasn't scared, I
was brave, and I you know I wasvery fascinated with North
America and everything to dowith North America, and um doing
(08:08):
that made me um value why dopeople do the things that they
do and and why do we behave theway that we behave?
I think that was where the bugof that um keenness within me
developed.
So, fast forward a little bit,I then found myself, I stumbled
(08:29):
into um a profession inhealthcare.
So I um became a registeredpsychiatric nurse in the in the
UK, and um my I then became anurse manager for a very pivotal
private health um hospital atthe time.
However, nursing was not mydream.
(08:49):
I had no interest in nursingwhatsoever.
I always envisioned myselfbeing an advocate or lawyer or
someone in entertainment, thatwas my dream.
So nursing I fell into as Istay, but nursing, I think, was
the school that taught me tohone more into my empathy and
(09:10):
hone more into compassion, honemore into being a non-judgmental
person, and um it really didstand as a basis for what I then
decided to pursue later on inlife, and that led me to um an
opportunity I had probably halfa decade ago to um go to North
(09:35):
America and to um expand mycareer, and um at the time I was
going through quite a traumaticseason, so it was almost an
escapism for me as well.
And so um this wonderfulexperience got prevented and
presented to me, and that I'llsay was um the pivotal change
(10:00):
within my um both my career andmy personal life in both
positives and negative ways.
Um I think also with regards tothat transition, that
transition within about 30, 36to 72 hours of me arriving,
(10:20):
everything just fell apart.
It was devastating, and thiswas something that I had planned
for over two years, and within72 hours, everything fell apart,
and I felt completely strippedof my identity.
(10:41):
I felt lost and very alonebecause I'd left my family, I'd
left a comfortable life, I'dleft a profession that um I was
doing very well in.
And um at the time when peoplestarted encouraging, my family
started encouraging me toperhaps come back to the UK,
COVID hit.
(11:02):
And so that decision was takenaway from me.
And I look back at that and Iand I and I sense that the
brokenness and the solitude allseemed to be God's plan in what
he was aiming to do in my life.
And I kept keep remembering averse that came from the Bible,
which is Jeremiah 29, 11, whichstated that, for I know the
(11:25):
plans that I have for you,declares the Lord, and plans to
prosper you and plans to notharm you.
But at the time I didn't feelthat way.
I I felt that God was againstme.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, I can I can understand that.
And I think people, when we'rein it, we're in the pain, we are
struggling to understand why weare here, and and um what at
what point you when you were init, at what you know, did you
start seeing the light and go,okay?
Um, because I'm sure you werequestioning your faith at that
(12:00):
point.
Speaker (12:00):
I did.
I questioned my faith a lot,and the reason being because it
just didn't make sense howeverything had just fallen
apart, and I was left in asituation whereby I just I it it
(12:22):
was just it it's one of thosesituations when you just can't
explain.
There was no logical reasonbehind why the plans that had
been had been made weren't goingthe way they were supposed to.
And I think what was scary wasthat I even though I was keen to
travel, even though um I couldspeak English, and I felt that
(12:47):
all the things that I needed, soif I go back a little bit, in
the hope of moving to adifferent country, I was very
resistant of having to walk theimmigrant path.
And I'm saying that because Ihad known a friend, a family who
have immigrated to a differentcountry and have have gone
(13:08):
through a struggle because ofthat.
So I'd always said to myself,if I'm ever going to move
somewhere, I'll ensure that I goas a professional and I'll go
with all my all my um um ducksin line, so to say.
And so, with all those plans,that wasn't the case.
(13:28):
Although I had all my ducks inline, the rug was just pulled
out beneath me, and um it washard because I had gone with
trust, I had gone and I hadfaced um betrayal, and I had
gone and I had faced find myselfin a situation where I was both
(13:49):
financially and umprofessionally crippled because
I wasn't able to work within myprofession at the time.
And part of the stipulation ofme moving to North America was
um to do a master's, and so mysponsor had pulled out of um
sponsoring me, and I'd soldeverything.
I'd sold everything to the UK,and I was waiting for my
(14:13):
personal belongings to comethrough cargo, and so I just
felt completely alone and Iquestioned and I cried and I
questioned and I I asked Godwhy, and it just didn't it just
did not make sense.
It was very traumatic for methat experience.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Um, but you ultimately did get your masters
of um because I I wrote it down,like you I got a master's of
nurse, and that's what I got,yes.
And then you got your doctor ofpublic health, like you the
story ends well, right?
Speaker (14:52):
The story does end well, however, the processes to
that story was it was not asmooth pathway.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, I think sometimes yeah, people look at
you and and they look at youryour fabulousness look and they
go, she has it all together, youknow?
And so I thank you for justsharing that it's not always
easy.
Um yeah.
Um I'm wondering if you canshare through all this or or now
and where you're working, whatyour best principle of success
(15:24):
is, and if you have a story thatillustrates that.
Speaker (15:27):
Absolutely.
So I could say my bestprinciple of success would be
don't judge book by its cover.
I could say um when God has aplan for you, what is yours is
yours.
I I have so many that I couldprovide for you, but I think the
one that has been my um anchorthrough this season is something
(15:52):
that I refer to as grace andgrit.
So two contrasting things.
So grace to trust God whenthings don't make sense, and
grit to keep moving even whenyou can't see the finishing
line.
So those are my two principles,and I'll expand a little for
(16:12):
you.
So, first regarding the grit tokeep moving, and um that would
reflect the series of eventsthat that took place following
when my sponsor pulled pulledthe plug, so to say, and after I
arrived over less than threedays, and I had every reason to
quit.
(16:33):
And I remember calling mymother, devastated, and I stated
to her, I said, What are wegoing to do?
I can't afford a master's, andum I can't even work, I wasn't
even able to work within myprofession at the time.
And one of the stipulations ofa student visa is you have you
(16:53):
can work a maximum of 20 hours.
So um, and I had loved onesdependent on me.
So just imagine that scenariowhere I have a qualification, I
have um a ticket, so to say, toopen doorways of employment for
me, but I can't utilize them.
So um she she, my mother at thetime was about to retire, and
(17:18):
she said, Don't worry, Comfort,you will complete this master's.
And I said, How's that going tohappen?
And some few years back for herbirthday, we brought her a
luxury car for her birthday.
She had a great milestone thatshe had um celebrated, and she
sold the car.
My mum sold her car to pay formy master's, and I can't tell
(17:42):
you how much of a lifeline thatwas for me at the time, and um
within months following that,um, God just started showing me
different ways to remind me thatHe loved me and He was in this
journey with me.
So, from the onset, um, therewere so many divine encounters.
(18:05):
If I was to reel them off, youwill tell me that I'm telling
fibs, and this is a Hollywoodstory that I'm telling you.
But I had things from peoplewould just say to me, Um,
comfort, how much is your rent?
And I would be like, Um, okay,and I'll tell them, and they'll
say, Well, God asked me to payfor your rent, and they'll pay
(18:28):
my entire rent for the month,and it would be something like
someone would say to me, Theywere on the way on the way to do
groceries, and my my name cameinto their mind, and they would
bring me bags of groceries, so Iwasn't lacking with regards to
that, and um it was extremelydifficult for me though to
(18:52):
receive help.
And the reason being was twothings.
One in the UK before I left, myfamily and I had this project
called Project H25, which standsfor homeless at Christmas, and
we weren't sponsored, we justset money aside during the year,
and um the week of Christmas,we'll go to Marks and Spencer's
(19:15):
and buy food packages and buy umsleeping bags and different
kinds of useful things, andwe'll wrap them up, wrap the
sleeping bags into presents sothey looked like presents, and
then Christmas Day, my sisterand I would go round on
Christmas morning and look forhomeless people to give that to,
and the sense of joy that thatbrings you because they felt
(19:40):
like they were opening apresent.
And so now I was on the otherside, and I'm not comparing
myself to someone that'shomeless, but on the other side
of being in need, and I feltthat I sh I didn't I wasn't
deserving of it because I felt Iwas educated, I could work, I
(20:01):
wasn't addicted to anysubstances, I didn't have a
mental health issue, so I didn'tfeel that I that the provision
that was given to me wassomething that I should have.
I felt there were people lessfortunate than me that deserved
the provision.
So it was very challenging forme at the time to receive help.
(20:24):
But saying that, um, theinteresting thing with that was
in the same breath that allthose wonderful things was
taking place and God wascomforting me, because um I'm a
very loyal person, I'm loyal toa fault, and I say that in the
sense that if someone doessomething kind to me, I I keep
(20:48):
it to heart.
The gratitude that I'll showthat person is immense, and I
feel that God wanted me to knowthat human beings were flawed,
that no one was perfect, andthat people that he put in my
life were vessels, and I shouldsee them as only but that
vessels.
And I say that because in thesame breath that all the
(21:12):
wonderful things was happening,a season shortly after,
everything just crumbled.
So people that I had grownclose to and became vulnerable
to and trusted, one by one, theystarted to disappear.
People that had um pledged towalk with me through this
(21:33):
journey, one by one, theystarted to fall along the
wayside, and um I becameestranged from quite a few
family members in the UK, and Ifelt extremely isolated at the
time.
And um I think it it was Godtrying to teach me that he was
(21:55):
taking me into a season that hewanted me to rely solely on him,
he didn't want anyone to beable to say, Oh, it's because of
me that comfort is where she'sat, or this or that.
I think God wanted me to solelyrely on him and only him, and
that was hard for me because umthe same year all that was
(22:20):
happening, I I had um anaccident, two accidents, one at
the beginning of the year, oneat the end of the year, and so
they were tragic accidents, andso I felt my external life was
crumbling, and then my internallife began to crumble.
I was diagnosed with someunfortunate health um
(22:42):
situations, um, a couple ofautoimmune conditions.
So I said, God, what's goingon?
My my support system has goneand my body's betraying me.
And it it was such a dark timefor me.
Um, but the only thing that Ido remember is that he would
(23:06):
remind me of um a Bible versethat states that I know the
plans that I have for you.
He kept on it, that just kepton being a ringing thing.
Trust in me with all your heartand lead not on lean on to not
onto your own understanding.
That was those Bible versesjust kept on becoming more and
(23:29):
more uh audible in my ear, andso I had to learn to just
surrender in the solitude thathe was taking me.
And so that's the grit.
And so I'll talk quickly aboutthe grace.
With regards to the grace, onceI'd completed my master's, as
you mentioned, um it would haveprobably been sensible for me to
(23:52):
move back to the UK then, um,knowing what I was going
through.
And I called my mother, and I Ithink I I I felt quite
confident in the achievement,and I said to her, Oh, I've done
this, and that was a breeze,and this is half-hearted humour,
by the way.
And and we we we had thisconversation, and I said, Oh, I
(24:15):
feel like I can do anythingright now, and um, perhaps I
should go ahead and go and dodoctoral studies or or a PhD.
It was a joke.
I wasn't intending for her totake me serious, and my mum
said, Well, if if you want to,then why not?
And I said to her, I don'tthink you understand how
(24:38):
expensive this is, and we'vejust gone through this whole
season.
And she said, Well, I believethat if that's what you want to
do, God will allow there to be away for this to happen.
And so I and she said, I'llsupport you in every way that I
can.
And what should have been fiveyears for me to complete, this
(25:01):
this spring gone, I completed itshy of three and a half years.
And I cannot tell you how.
I'm not going to brag and sayI'm the most smartest person in
the world, no, not at all.
But what I can tell you islooking back at what it is, I
know that it was it was abouthonoring my mother's faith in me
(25:26):
and God's faithfulness throughme to her.
And God reminded me that mythoughts are not his thoughts
and his ways, and my ways arenot his ways, and and that was
something that um allowed me tounderstand what grace and grace
really meant.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
I feel there's um, you know, you you talk about
going to school at grade two, oryou started your education, not
that you said school.
You you and you talked aboutyou got into nursing and you
thought you wanted to be thelawyer, the advocate, and there
was sort of a um like adisconnect there.
(26:06):
Um what I know of you now, youare an advocate in in mental
health, in in public health.
Um where we talk, and so I Iwant to ask you about like fears
and failures, because you know,you talk about um the failures,
there has been some setbacks,yeah, but we know that sometimes
(26:30):
that's our like those failuresand mistakes can be our greatest
successes.
So, you know, do you have Imean we will learn more from
those failures and mistakes thanour own successes?
And comfort, I think you'vedone a lot of learning.
Um I don't know if you have anymore to share, just a failure
or mistake that you just youlearn so much.
(26:52):
Yeah, but listening to you, Ifeel like I've learned a lot.
Speaker (26:55):
Yeah.
I I would say my greatestmistake was dimming my light to
make others feel comfortable.
I think that was my greatestmistake, and that came about
through vulnerability of theseason that I was in at the
time.
So I felt a lot of I'd sayembarrassment because of where
(27:19):
I'd found myself in the positionthat I'd found myself.
And so because of that, for avery long time, um I felt like I
wanted to fade into the wall.
Um, I didn't necessarily wantto fit in, but um I wanted to
just disappear, you know, um,but still be accepted, and that
(27:40):
if I believe, if I blendedquietly, maybe people won't
notice me.
Um and that was that was uh Idon't know what I was thinking
to be honest, and uh and sothere's a series of events that
I'll I'll walk us through withregards to that.
(28:01):
So in in the UK, I won't saythat I wasn't aware of racism um
as a woman of colour or a blackwoman, whichever politically
correct way you want to um pitchit to be.
I I was fully aware of it, butthe the thing is I I don't think
it was glaring to me um in thesense that the UK is very
(28:22):
multicultural, and um I've neverfelt that I couldn't uh um fill
a space or be part of a spacethat I was in.
I didn't feel awkward at all inany way.
Um but in the climate that Ifound myself in the environments
(28:43):
that I was in, I felt verydifferent.
Um, it was something that wasmade known to me for me to be
aware of that I was different,my accent, the way I dressed, my
confidence, my achievement.
There were sometimes evenridiculed, should I say, the
fact that I had all theseachievements, but I wasn't
(29:05):
working within a role thatmirrored the achievements.
I was working in roles that Iwas probably way overqualified
for.
And so um I I remember aquestion that that um someone
asked me, and they asked me,where was I from?
And I opened my mouth and theywere shocked because they were
probably expecting an accentfrom somewhere else than than
(29:27):
than a British accent.
And then I said, I'm from theUK, and they said, No, where are
you from?
Where are you from?
And I was confused.
I didn't really understand whatthey meant by that question,
and they were referring to myancestral origins because I'm
I'm black, and I found it quiteignorant at the time, um,
because I thought you wouldn'task a white Canadian or white
(29:50):
South African person whereyou're from, where are you from,
which would obviously meansomewhere in Europe their their
ancestral origin, and um I'vesince spoken.
To other ethnic minorities, andthey've told me that they've
they've found similar questionsbeing asked of them.
And so then I started to, whenI get asked that question, I
(30:11):
would ask the same question andI'd say, and where are you from?
And if I get told wherever, Iwas like, no, where are you
from?
Where are you from?
And it would always come backwith um a sense of
embarrassment.
They'll blush and it would helpthem to think about what
(30:31):
they've just asked.
And and uh, you know, that wassomething that I I started to do
when I realized that I couldn'tcontinue to try and fade into
the background, and um I wasmistaken for for for thinking
that I could in in in a senselike that.
(30:52):
And then I think another umexample that I would give which
which kind of like navigated meinto feeling insecure about who
I was was um when I realizedthat I was being misunderstood a
lot, um, and all I wanted to dowas to belong.
(31:12):
Um and what was dubbed bysomeone as a community, they
they said to me, Comfort, you'relooking for your community, and
to me, my community was thechurch.
That that was my community, andit was interesting that even
within then other people feltthat my community that I would
(31:34):
identify with had to do with myrace or my ancestral origin, so
I almost felt like I was beingpushed towards that rather than
being accepted for the communitythat I was trying to integrate
myself in, and I think thatsuccumbed to a lot of
stereotypes and preconceptions.
Um, I had Pearsons, I wasdressed differently in the same
(31:58):
way that I love listening toYclef and Mary J.
Blige is the same way that Ilove listening to Christian rock
and um rap Christian rapperslike Dax and songs like Carrie
Underwood.
So I feel like I'm a mix of somany different things.
And I just feel that peopledidn't know where to put me, and
(32:18):
and and they misunderstood mebecause they couldn't quite
understand where to put comfort,what box should we put comfort
in?
And I couldn't can recollectthat.
Um I started to then recognizethe hostility that I I would get
sometimes because of that, andeven within what was deemed to
(32:40):
be my community, my very firstrecollection of racism, so to
say, was from someone thatlooked exactly like me, and that
was hard for me to understand.
And um, a a doctor that I knewat the time that had come from
the UK referred to as implicitracism, and it was a word that
(33:01):
I'd never understood before, butI I started to see it to be
when people are unable to ummake sense of something new to
them, they it's almost like afight or flight, so they'll
either embrace it or they willreact to it with hostility, and
I found that most people reactedwith hostility towards not
(33:26):
knowing where to put my variedboxes, so to say.
With regards to that, thatastonished me, and I began to
shrink and withdraw even more,doubting who I was.
I was just very broken, I wasvery broken at the time.
Um, but then I realized thatplaying small, it didn't protect
(33:49):
me.
Um, it only erased who I was,and that wasn't what God wanted
for me, and he reminded me sooften that um his plans for me
were good and not for evil.
And I remember verses like,Come on to me, or who are
burdened and heavy laden, andI'll give you rest.
(34:11):
And I felt that he wanted togive me rest with all the
conflicts that I was feeling atthe time.
And I'll give you two storiesof how that started to shift.
One poignant story was umduring the early season, I was
befriended by this um couple,this um senior couple, and they
(34:36):
were very nice, and they invitedme to lunch.
And the wife, she um she wasvery insecure about how she
looked.
And I remember on my way there,not too far from their house,
um, one of my church sisters wasdriving me there, and I asked
her to park up, and I started totake off my earrings, I took
off my high heels, and um Istarted to put on some joggers
(35:00):
because I was wearing a modestsummer dress, but I knew it made
me look more petite than usual.
And this lady I was aware wasinsecure because she was um she
was overweight, and I I my mychurch sister was looking, she
was like, Comfort, what are youdoing?
(35:20):
And I said, Well, I don't wanther to feel bad, you know.
And she said, But that's notyour responsibility, and I said,
Uh yeah, it's not, and I knewit wasn't something that I
should do, um, because I waschanging who I was to try and
make someone else feel morecomfortable, and I think I was
(35:41):
doing a disservice to God bydoing that, and following that
recently um that realizationtaught me self-acceptance, and
that self-acceptance isn'tarrogance, that it's just about
gratitude, it's gratitude on howGod has made you and the
(36:02):
courage to live in your truth,even when it's uncomfortable.
And that follows through to uma close a close colleague of
mine made me aware of um aworkplace bully that I had,
which I hadn't noticed orthought of it to be bullying.
So this individual would alwaysmake comments that comfort you
(36:25):
always dress so fancy, don't youown a pair of jeans and don't
you wear joggers?
And it's something that youcould, you know, think of it to
be harmless banter, but then Irealized that no, that I she was
targeting me for this, and so Iremembered what I did about
(36:46):
changing how I appear to makesomeone feel comfortable.
So, what I did was on mybirthday, usually on my
birthdays, I try and schedule itto have it off so I can spend
some time with God.
It's a sacred time for me, andon my birthday, I um ordered a
dainty tiara from Amazon and Iwore it to work with a dress,
(37:09):
almost to say, is this fancyenough for you?
And I think she was shockedbecause of the boldness doing
that, but that began that beganmy turning point, and it truly
started me accepting me,accepting my voice, accepting my
presence, um, accepting that Icould walk into a room with
(37:32):
grace and strength and still behumble, and that my light didn't
have to be dim for someoneelse.
So learning that mistake,coming out of it in that sense,
has strengthened me to be who Iam, striving to become more and
more each day.
unknown (37:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Oh, I love that example because I think so many
people dim themselves becauseother people don't like their
shine.
Yes.
And um, I I think you know,like I'm a six-foot woman and um
I wear heels, comfort.
Good.
And I wear big heels.
Speaker (38:07):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
But I get that um that kind of comments, like that
it's it's it's not a it's likea bullying comment.
It's like, look, I'm wearingthem because they look really
nice, they make dresses looknice.
Yes, absolutely.
And I but I'm six foot threewith but I I you know what I'm
gonna just listening to you.
(38:29):
I'm I'm gonna work at shiningmore.
Speaker (38:31):
Yes, yeah, like I think you should, and I I don't think
it's about being proud andbeing prideful, it's not.
I think in in changing who youare, it I think it does God a
disservice because he's made youwonderful in the way you are,
he's made you perfect, and youare a reflection of God, and I
(38:54):
think in trying to toneourselves down and behave in
ways that it doesn't dignify whoGod is in us, and so I think we
need to be as truthful toourselves as much as we can in
the spaces that we can.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, oh, I love it.
Um, I'm gonna skip right to ourlast question.
Uh, you you have talked, you'vegiven so many great stories.
Um, I'm loving it.
Uh uh, and just you know knowthat you are a very busy woman,
but want to know what brings youthe greatest joy?
Ooh.
Speaker (39:30):
What brings me the greatest joy?
I would say the love of family.
I'll definitely say the love offamily.
There'll always be ups anddowns with family, and that kind
of stands through distance anddisappointments and and and and
time, it does, and that'sunmeasurable.
(39:51):
Um, apart from my immediatefamily who have grounded me and
undoubtedly have been mygreatest cheerleader through my
journey.
Um, I'm very private and I'mviciously protective of them
because they're sacred to me.
Um, my mother, my sister, andmy cousins.
Um, I thank them so much.
They mean the world to me.
(40:13):
Um, I've also adopted somefamily here.
Um, Nana Gail, as I call her,Uncle Glenn and Dr.
Andy, and um, those few angelsof God that God has sent around
my way.
Um, I've stubbornly decided notto let go of them.
And seeing transformation inothers also brings me immense
(40:33):
joy, whether it's um a patientrecovering, a colleague
rediscovering their voice, um,or simply remembering their
worth.
And something that I hold closedearly to me, Lisa, is that God
has given me um I don't I don'tknow whether it's a skill, I
just think he's blessed me inbeing able to provide a safe
(40:56):
space for others.
Um, I can't quite explain whatit is, but I even have strangers
who will walk up to me and pourout their life, they'll pour
out their traumas, pour outtheir concerns, and um for them
to be able to trust me withthose vulnerable parts of their
life, I'm so humbled by it.
(41:16):
And um, it's what I call myquiet ministry.
And um, I think mine is just tobe able to listen in that way,
and um on a personal level atthe moment, uh, what brings me
joy is I I found being able tospend some quiet time with God
in the morning.
Um, I'm I'm not quite therewith the 4 a.m.
(41:37):
wake and reading the Bible forhours on end at the moment.
Mine is more playing songs anddancing around and screaming and
shouting and praising his name,and and that has brought me
such tremendous joy.
And so that's the kind of joythat doesn't depend on
(41:59):
circumstances but on thepresence, or knowing that even
in the silent, silent moment I'mI'm exactly where I'm meant to
be.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you listening to you um andGod putting uh people coming to
you and and do you do you thinksomething is changing for you?
Are you are you just excited tosee in the opportunities?
I just I feel like there'sthings changing for you.
Speaker (42:28):
Do you I agree with you?
I agree with you, and itfrightens me.
Oh yeah.
I shared I shared with youbefore I came on the podcast,
and and so I must admit thatthat Lisa's been trying to get
me on the podcast for a while,and I don't know whether it's
because of the season of me umshying away and hiding myself
(42:52):
that it's made me feel veryvulnerable in that way.
But each time I I think aboutthe space that I'm um occupying
at the moment, it excites mebecause I know that I I will be
that voice for those people thatdon't have that voice, but it
frightens me as well because Iknow I'm imperfect and um I just
(43:17):
don't know where God's takingme.
I know it's going to be awhirlwind, and and so it it does
frighten me at times as well.
Um but I I am excited, I I canfeel that there's a shift, and I
feel that something is brewing,and I know it's going to be
something really great.
Um but it it's frightening, itis frightening.
(43:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
I can I can agree with the frightening and
exciting all at the same timebecause I you don't know where
you're going, but it's like I'mgonna put my trust and I'm gonna
I'm gonna show up every day,I'm gonna continue to work hard
and I don't you know and andthank God for every moment and
and where are we going?
Speaker (43:59):
It is all that, Lisa, and and my journey, like I said,
I feel I at the moment I feelthat if my journey can make just
one person feel seen orencouraged, then it's been
worthwhile.
Um when I leave this world inmany, many, many years to come.
Um, I hope that people justdon't remember me for what I've
(44:21):
achieved, um, but how I've madethem feel, you know, made them
feel valued, made them feelunderstood and loved.
Yeah.
Um that that's that's what Ireally want.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Oh comfort, it has been an uh awesome 45 minutes
with you.
I have just sat there and mycheeks hurt from smiling and my
heart is full.
I want to just thank you forjust joining us.
And I'm glad you finally saidyes.
I'm like, Comfort, it's justgonna be fun.
He did say so.
And you just you did excellent.
Um, if people want to connectwith you, find you, um, how can
(44:55):
they do that?
What is the best way?
Speaker (44:57):
They can find me on LinkedIn at the moment, just
DrC, Doctor Doc C.
Or they can find me on thehandle on X or Instagram at Dr C
underscore O T C W D R C.
O T C W D R C.
And um, that's just a snippetof things to come, so it may not
(45:20):
make sense what that handlemeans just now, but it will make
sense in times to come.
That's awesome.
Thank you, Dr.
C, for joining us.
Thank you so much for havingme, Lisa.
I really appreciated this timethat we've had together.
Oh, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
All right, listeners, I want to thank you for
engaging with us.
Uh, if you're part of LeaderImpact, you can always discuss
or share this podcast with yourgroup.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find out more and grow yourleadership, find our podcast
page on our website atLeaderImpact.ca.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
LeaderImpact.ca.
Or if you're listening fromanywhere else in the world,
(45:59):
check out LeaderImpact.com orget in touch with us by email.
Info at LeaderImpact.ca, and wewill connect you.
And if you like this podcast,please leave us a comment, give
us a rating or review.
This will help other globalleaders find our podcast.
Thank you for engaging with us,and remember, impact starts
(46:19):
with you.
Welcome to the Leader Impact Podcast.
We are a community of leaderswith a network in over 350
cities around the worlddedicated to optimizing our
personal, professional, andspiritual lives to have impact.
This show is where we have achance to listen and engage with
leaders who are living thisout.
We love talking with leaders,so if you have any questions,
comments, or suggestions to makethis show even better, please
(00:26):
let us know.
The best way to stay connectedin Canada is to our newsletter
at LeaderImpact.ca or on socialmedia at Leader Impact.
And if you're listening fromoutside of Canada, check out our
website at leaderimpact.com.
I'm your host, Lisa Peters, andour guest today is Comfort
Payne, otherwise known as Dr.
C.
She calls herself a viciouslyprivate, imperfect lady of
(00:48):
elegance, a woman whose strengthwas shaped not in comfort but
through the courage, faith, andgrace.
With over a decade ofexperience in mental and public
health, Dr.
C has made it her mission tochallenge stigma and breaking
barriers surrounding mentalwell-being in marginalized and
vulnerable communities.
Guided by her natural gift ofempathy and discernment, she
(01:09):
creates spaces where honestyreplaces silence, where the
conversations we often avoidbecome the ones that heal,
inspire, and ignite change.
Poised, warm, andunapologetically herself, with a
quiet strength and a flair forfashion that speaks as boldly as
her purpose.
Please welcome Dr.
C to the Leader Impact Podcast.
(01:30):
Welcome to the show.
Hello.
Speaker (01:36):
How are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Can I do something reallyunorthodox?
Yes, yes.
Could I say a short prayer forus?
Would that be okay?
Is that allowed?
That is allowed, Dr.
Okay, okay.
Father, I just want to saythank you for this wonderful
(01:57):
opportunity to just be presenthere and to be in the presence
of Miss Lisa Peters.
I thank you because I feel sohumbled to have a space to share
my story and hopefully I willtouch some hearts.
I ask for you to speak throughme and I ask for this to be such
(02:20):
a warm and lovely conversationin Jesus' name.
Amen.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Amen.
Speaker (02:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Thanks, Dr.
C.
unknown (02:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I just love listening to you.
I have to ask, can you can youtell us where's the accent from?
Speaker (02:33):
Yes, I'll put on my glasses so I can see you a
little better.
Um I forgot to wear my contactlenses, so forgive me.
So I'm I'm originally from theUnited Kingdom.
unknown (02:45):
Okay.
Speaker (02:45):
That's where the accent's from.
I'm from the United Kingdom.
I'm from Southeast London to beprecise.
I'm from a little town calledBellingham.
Bellingham.
Yes, which is not too far fromKent.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Okay.
Yes.
Have to look that up on a map.
And your name, Comfort Payne.
Like, I'm not going anywhereuntil I know how Comfort Pain.
Speaker (03:07):
Yeah, yeah.
I think I you know, I won't saymy parents were humorous, they
weren't.
Um, it meant something specialto them, the name Comfort.
So Pain's my family name, andum Comfort was a name that later
on in life it seemed to be ofuh great um importance to them.
(03:29):
There was some tragedy in thefamily, and my name seemed to be
a breath of fresh air.
Um, once that happened, I thinkI filled that void with regards
to bringing comfort to thefamily.
So that's that's where the namecomes from.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Thank you for sharing that.
That was wonderful.
Yeah.
Well, I am looking forward totalking with you today.
I know a little bit more aboutyou, more than what I've said,
and I I'm I have loved uhreading about you, but um, I'd
like you to tell us a little bitmore about your professional
journey and how you got fromwhere you are to where you are
today, what you're doing.
But more importantly, thatthose pivotal that pivotal
(04:06):
moment that really um got youalong the journey.
Speaker (04:10):
Do you have one that you could share?
Yeah, so like I mentioned, I'moriginally from the United
Kingdom.
And my journey, I'll often say,isn't a straight line, it's um
a tapestry of woven, unexpecteddetours, some unfortunate
circumstances, and I'd say adash of divine intervention.
(04:33):
So that's that's how I wouldsum up my journey.
Um, so I'll start off bytelling you a bit about my um
educational background.
So I started education at theage of two.
So I say that because I justwant you to understand the um
just the background of educationto me as an individual.
(04:54):
So I started at the age of two.
My parents um I was quiteblessed, sent me to private
school for most of my um umeducational life from preschool,
um just before post-secondary,and I also had the opportunity
to go to boarding school.
I went to boarding school intwo different continents, and
(05:17):
um, I think that that experiencewas very important to me
because um it allowed me tobuild resilience um independent
and also uh an understanding ofthe fact that there are
different cultures out there,we're very different, but we
also have linings of similarity.
(05:39):
So I think I was very fortunateto be able to do that, to um
have been in boarding school,and um on the other hand, it it
did seem a bit odd.
I was about nine and ten when Iwent to boarding school for the
first time, and so it it wasunusual for me within the
(06:00):
community that I was raised, forum a child to have gone to
boarding school at such a youngage.
But I'm sure that my parentshad, you know, my best interests
at heart, and I'm sure theywould have a reason if you asked
them why they done that.
But raising myself and mysiblings, one of the things that
my parents would always instillonto us is the fact that we
(06:22):
were to see ourselves as headsand not the tails, and to see
ourselves as leaders and notfollowers, and most importantly,
for us to be mindful when weinteracted with people, they
would mention to us that younever know who people are, so be
mindful and respectful of whopeople are, and being the eldest
as well.
(06:42):
One of the other things wasthat I should carry myself in a
way that um I paid attention tomy younger ones, my cousins, and
so um emulating whatever it isthat I did.
So that kind of helped to shapethe way I carried myself, um,
and it was a bit of a burden attimes because in spaces where I
(07:06):
may have wanted to contradictsomething or maybe behave
slightly out of the box, I wasalways mindful because I
remembered what my parents wouldtell me about the fact that I
had people behind me that payingattention to what I did and how
I behaved, and so that'ssomething that I felt moulded my
(07:26):
fascination with human beingsand human behaviour.
And so, like I stated before, Iwent to boarding school in two
different continents, and withthat traveling bug at the age of
16, I um got my passport and Iregistered myself with a project
called Camp America, and Ibecame a camp counselor at the
(07:47):
age of 16.
And my parents they were veryum okay with it because they
felt I was quite mature enoughto do so, but I wasn't scared, I
was brave, and I you know I wasvery fascinated with North
America and everything to dowith North America, and um doing
(08:08):
that made me um value why dopeople do the things that they
do and and why do we behave theway that we behave?
I think that was where the bugof that um keenness within me
developed.
So, fast forward a little bit,I then found myself, I stumbled
(08:29):
into um a profession inhealthcare.
So I um became a registeredpsychiatric nurse in the in the
UK, and um my I then became anurse manager for a very pivotal
private health um hospital atthe time.
However, nursing was not mydream.
(08:49):
I had no interest in nursingwhatsoever.
I always envisioned myselfbeing an advocate or lawyer or
someone in entertainment, thatwas my dream.
So nursing I fell into as Istay, but nursing, I think, was
the school that taught me tohone more into my empathy and
(09:10):
hone more into compassion, honemore into being a non-judgmental
person, and um it really didstand as a basis for what I then
decided to pursue later on inlife, and that led me to um an
opportunity I had probably halfa decade ago to um go to North
(09:35):
America and to um expand mycareer, and um at the time I was
going through quite a traumaticseason, so it was almost an
escapism for me as well.
And so um this wonderfulexperience got prevented and
presented to me, and that I'llsay was um the pivotal change
(10:00):
within my um both my career andmy personal life in both
positives and negative ways.
Um I think also with regards tothat transition, that
transition within about 30, 36to 72 hours of me arriving,
(10:20):
everything just fell apart.
It was devastating, and thiswas something that I had planned
for over two years, and within72 hours, everything fell apart,
and I felt completely strippedof my identity.
(10:41):
I felt lost and very alonebecause I'd left my family, I'd
left a comfortable life, I'dleft a profession that um I was
doing very well in.
And um at the time when peoplestarted encouraging, my family
started encouraging me toperhaps come back to the UK,
COVID hit.
(11:02):
And so that decision was takenaway from me.
And I look back at that and Iand I and I sense that the
brokenness and the solitude allseemed to be God's plan in what
he was aiming to do in my life.
And I kept keep remembering averse that came from the Bible,
which is Jeremiah 29, 11, whichstated that, for I know the
(11:25):
plans that I have for you,declares the Lord, and plans to
prosper you and plans to notharm you.
But at the time I didn't feelthat way.
I I felt that God was againstme.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah, I can I can understand that.
And I think people, when we'rein it, we're in the pain, we are
struggling to understand why weare here, and and um what at
what point you when you were init, at what you know, did you
start seeing the light and go,okay?
Um, because I'm sure you werequestioning your faith at that
(12:00):
point.
Speaker (12:00):
I did.
I questioned my faith a lot,and the reason being because it
just didn't make sense howeverything had just fallen
apart, and I was left in asituation whereby I just I it it
(12:22):
was just it it's one of thosesituations when you just can't
explain.
There was no logical reasonbehind why the plans that had
been had been made weren't goingthe way they were supposed to.
And I think what was scary wasthat I even though I was keen to
travel, even though um I couldspeak English, and I felt that
(12:47):
all the things that I needed, soif I go back a little bit, in
the hope of moving to adifferent country, I was very
resistant of having to walk theimmigrant path.
And I'm saying that because Ihad known a friend, a family who
have immigrated to a differentcountry and have have gone
(13:08):
through a struggle because ofthat.
So I'd always said to myself,if I'm ever going to move
somewhere, I'll ensure that I goas a professional and I'll go
with all my all my um um ducksin line, so to say.
And so, with all those plans,that wasn't the case.
(13:28):
Although I had all my ducks inline, the rug was just pulled
out beneath me, and um it washard because I had gone with
trust, I had gone and I hadfaced um betrayal, and I had
gone and I had faced find myselfin a situation where I was both
(13:49):
financially and umprofessionally crippled because
I wasn't able to work within myprofession at the time.
And part of the stipulation ofme moving to North America was
um to do a master's, and so mysponsor had pulled out of um
sponsoring me, and I'd soldeverything.
I'd sold everything to the UK,and I was waiting for my
(14:13):
personal belongings to comethrough cargo, and so I just
felt completely alone and Iquestioned and I cried and I
questioned and I I asked Godwhy, and it just didn't it just
did not make sense.
It was very traumatic for methat experience.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Um, but you ultimately did get your masters
of um because I I wrote it down,like you I got a master's of
nurse, and that's what I got,yes.
And then you got your doctor ofpublic health, like you the
story ends well, right?
Speaker (14:52):
The story does end well, however, the processes to
that story was it was not asmooth pathway.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, I think sometimes yeah, people look at
you and and they look at youryour fabulousness look and they
go, she has it all together, youknow?
And so I thank you for justsharing that it's not always
easy.
Um yeah.
Um I'm wondering if you canshare through all this or or now
and where you're working, whatyour best principle of success
(15:24):
is, and if you have a story thatillustrates that.
Speaker (15:27):
Absolutely.
So I could say my bestprinciple of success would be
don't judge book by its cover.
I could say um when God has aplan for you, what is yours is
yours.
I I have so many that I couldprovide for you, but I think the
one that has been my um anchorthrough this season is something
(15:52):
that I refer to as grace andgrit.
So two contrasting things.
So grace to trust God whenthings don't make sense, and
grit to keep moving even whenyou can't see the finishing
line.
So those are my two principles,and I'll expand a little for
(16:12):
you.
So, first regarding the grit tokeep moving, and um that would
reflect the series of eventsthat that took place following
when my sponsor pulled pulledthe plug, so to say, and after I
arrived over less than threedays, and I had every reason to
quit.
(16:33):
And I remember calling mymother, devastated, and I stated
to her, I said, What are wegoing to do?
I can't afford a master's, andum I can't even work, I wasn't
even able to work within myprofession at the time.
And one of the stipulations ofa student visa is you have you
(16:53):
can work a maximum of 20 hours.
So um, and I had loved onesdependent on me.
So just imagine that scenariowhere I have a qualification, I
have um a ticket, so to say, toopen doorways of employment for
me, but I can't utilize them.
So um she she, my mother at thetime was about to retire, and
(17:18):
she said, Don't worry, Comfort,you will complete this master's.
And I said, How's that going tohappen?
And some few years back for herbirthday, we brought her a
luxury car for her birthday.
She had a great milestone thatshe had um celebrated, and she
sold the car.
My mum sold her car to pay formy master's, and I can't tell
(17:42):
you how much of a lifeline thatwas for me at the time, and um
within months following that,um, God just started showing me
different ways to remind me thatHe loved me and He was in this
journey with me.
So, from the onset, um, therewere so many divine encounters.
(18:05):
If I was to reel them off, youwill tell me that I'm telling
fibs, and this is a Hollywoodstory that I'm telling you.
But I had things from peoplewould just say to me, Um,
comfort, how much is your rent?
And I would be like, Um, okay,and I'll tell them, and they'll
say, Well, God asked me to payfor your rent, and they'll pay
(18:28):
my entire rent for the month,and it would be something like
someone would say to me, Theywere on the way on the way to do
groceries, and my my name cameinto their mind, and they would
bring me bags of groceries, so Iwasn't lacking with regards to
that, and um it was extremelydifficult for me though to
(18:52):
receive help.
And the reason being was twothings.
One in the UK before I left, myfamily and I had this project
called Project H25, which standsfor homeless at Christmas, and
we weren't sponsored, we justset money aside during the year,
and um the week of Christmas,we'll go to Marks and Spencer's
(19:15):
and buy food packages and buy umsleeping bags and different
kinds of useful things, andwe'll wrap them up, wrap the
sleeping bags into presents sothey looked like presents, and
then Christmas Day, my sisterand I would go round on
Christmas morning and look forhomeless people to give that to,
and the sense of joy that thatbrings you because they felt
(19:40):
like they were opening apresent.
And so now I was on the otherside, and I'm not comparing
myself to someone that'shomeless, but on the other side
of being in need, and I feltthat I sh I didn't I wasn't
deserving of it because I felt Iwas educated, I could work, I
(20:01):
wasn't addicted to anysubstances, I didn't have a
mental health issue, so I didn'tfeel that I that the provision
that was given to me wassomething that I should have.
I felt there were people lessfortunate than me that deserved
the provision.
So it was very challenging forme at the time to receive help.
(20:24):
But saying that, um, theinteresting thing with that was
in the same breath that allthose wonderful things was
taking place and God wascomforting me, because um I'm a
very loyal person, I'm loyal toa fault, and I say that in the
sense that if someone doessomething kind to me, I I keep
(20:48):
it to heart.
The gratitude that I'll showthat person is immense, and I
feel that God wanted me to knowthat human beings were flawed,
that no one was perfect, andthat people that he put in my
life were vessels, and I shouldsee them as only but that
vessels.
And I say that because in thesame breath that all the
(21:12):
wonderful things was happening,a season shortly after,
everything just crumbled.
So people that I had grownclose to and became vulnerable
to and trusted, one by one, theystarted to disappear.
People that had um pledged towalk with me through this
(21:33):
journey, one by one, theystarted to fall along the
wayside, and um I becameestranged from quite a few
family members in the UK, and Ifelt extremely isolated at the
time.
And um I think it it was Godtrying to teach me that he was
(21:55):
taking me into a season that hewanted me to rely solely on him,
he didn't want anyone to beable to say, Oh, it's because of
me that comfort is where she'sat, or this or that.
I think God wanted me to solelyrely on him and only him, and
that was hard for me because umthe same year all that was
(22:20):
happening, I I had um anaccident, two accidents, one at
the beginning of the year, oneat the end of the year, and so
they were tragic accidents, andso I felt my external life was
crumbling, and then my internallife began to crumble.
I was diagnosed with someunfortunate health um
(22:42):
situations, um, a couple ofautoimmune conditions.
So I said, God, what's goingon?
My my support system has goneand my body's betraying me.
And it it was such a dark timefor me.
Um, but the only thing that Ido remember is that he would
(23:06):
remind me of um a Bible versethat states that I know the
plans that I have for you.
He kept on it, that just kepton being a ringing thing.
Trust in me with all your heartand lead not on lean on to not
onto your own understanding.
That was those Bible versesjust kept on becoming more and
(23:29):
more uh audible in my ear, andso I had to learn to just
surrender in the solitude thathe was taking me.
And so that's the grit.
And so I'll talk quickly aboutthe grace.
With regards to the grace, onceI'd completed my master's, as
you mentioned, um it would haveprobably been sensible for me to
(23:52):
move back to the UK then, um,knowing what I was going
through.
And I called my mother, and I Ithink I I I felt quite
confident in the achievement,and I said to her, Oh, I've done
this, and that was a breeze,and this is half-hearted humour,
by the way.
And and we we we had thisconversation, and I said, Oh, I
(24:15):
feel like I can do anythingright now, and um, perhaps I
should go ahead and go and dodoctoral studies or or a PhD.
It was a joke.
I wasn't intending for her totake me serious, and my mum
said, Well, if if you want to,then why not?
And I said to her, I don'tthink you understand how
(24:38):
expensive this is, and we'vejust gone through this whole
season.
And she said, Well, I believethat if that's what you want to
do, God will allow there to be away for this to happen.
And so I and she said, I'llsupport you in every way that I
can.
And what should have been fiveyears for me to complete, this
(25:01):
this spring gone, I completed itshy of three and a half years.
And I cannot tell you how.
I'm not going to brag and sayI'm the most smartest person in
the world, no, not at all.
But what I can tell you islooking back at what it is, I
know that it was it was abouthonoring my mother's faith in me
(25:26):
and God's faithfulness throughme to her.
And God reminded me that mythoughts are not his thoughts
and his ways, and my ways arenot his ways, and and that was
something that um allowed me tounderstand what grace and grace
really meant.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
I feel there's um, you know, you you talk about
going to school at grade two, oryou started your education, not
that you said school.
You you and you talked aboutyou got into nursing and you
thought you wanted to be thelawyer, the advocate, and there
was sort of a um like adisconnect there.
(26:06):
Um what I know of you now, youare an advocate in in mental
health, in in public health.
Um where we talk, and so I Iwant to ask you about like fears
and failures, because you know,you talk about um the failures,
there has been some setbacks,yeah, but we know that sometimes
(26:30):
that's our like those failuresand mistakes can be our greatest
successes.
So, you know, do you have Imean we will learn more from
those failures and mistakes thanour own successes?
And comfort, I think you'vedone a lot of learning.
Um I don't know if you have anymore to share, just a failure
or mistake that you just youlearn so much.
(26:52):
Yeah, but listening to you, Ifeel like I've learned a lot.
Speaker (26:55):
Yeah.
I I would say my greatestmistake was dimming my light to
make others feel comfortable.
I think that was my greatestmistake, and that came about
through vulnerability of theseason that I was in at the
time.
So I felt a lot of I'd sayembarrassment because of where
(27:19):
I'd found myself in the positionthat I'd found myself.
And so because of that, for avery long time, um I felt like I
wanted to fade into the wall.
Um, I didn't necessarily wantto fit in, but um I wanted to
just disappear, you know, um,but still be accepted, and that
(27:40):
if I believe, if I blendedquietly, maybe people won't
notice me.
Um and that was that was uh Idon't know what I was thinking
to be honest, and uh and sothere's a series of events that
I'll I'll walk us through withregards to that.
(28:01):
So in in the UK, I won't saythat I wasn't aware of racism um
as a woman of colour or a blackwoman, whichever politically
correct way you want to um pitchit to be.
I I was fully aware of it, butthe the thing is I I don't think
it was glaring to me um in thesense that the UK is very
(28:22):
multicultural, and um I've neverfelt that I couldn't uh um fill
a space or be part of a spacethat I was in.
I didn't feel awkward at all inany way.
Um but in the climate that Ifound myself in the environments
(28:43):
that I was in, I felt verydifferent.
Um, it was something that wasmade known to me for me to be
aware of that I was different,my accent, the way I dressed, my
confidence, my achievement.
There were sometimes evenridiculed, should I say, the
fact that I had all theseachievements, but I wasn't
(29:05):
working within a role thatmirrored the achievements.
I was working in roles that Iwas probably way overqualified
for.
And so um I I remember aquestion that that um someone
asked me, and they asked me,where was I from?
And I opened my mouth and theywere shocked because they were
probably expecting an accentfrom somewhere else than than
(29:27):
than a British accent.
And then I said, I'm from theUK, and they said, No, where are
you from?
Where are you from?
And I was confused.
I didn't really understand whatthey meant by that question,
and they were referring to myancestral origins because I'm
I'm black, and I found it quiteignorant at the time, um,
because I thought you wouldn'task a white Canadian or white
(29:50):
South African person whereyou're from, where are you from,
which would obviously meansomewhere in Europe their their
ancestral origin, and um I'vesince spoken.
To other ethnic minorities, andthey've told me that they've
they've found similar questionsbeing asked of them.
And so then I started to, whenI get asked that question, I
(30:11):
would ask the same question andI'd say, and where are you from?
And if I get told wherever, Iwas like, no, where are you
from?
Where are you from?
And it would always come backwith um a sense of
embarrassment.
They'll blush and it would helpthem to think about what
(30:31):
they've just asked.
And and uh, you know, that wassomething that I I started to do
when I realized that I couldn'tcontinue to try and fade into
the background, and um I wasmistaken for for for thinking
that I could in in in a senselike that.
(30:52):
And then I think another umexample that I would give which
which kind of like navigated meinto feeling insecure about who
I was was um when I realizedthat I was being misunderstood a
lot, um, and all I wanted to dowas to belong.
(31:12):
Um and what was dubbed bysomeone as a community, they
they said to me, Comfort, you'relooking for your community, and
to me, my community was thechurch.
That that was my community, andit was interesting that even
within then other people feltthat my community that I would
(31:34):
identify with had to do with myrace or my ancestral origin, so
I almost felt like I was beingpushed towards that rather than
being accepted for the communitythat I was trying to integrate
myself in, and I think thatsuccumbed to a lot of
stereotypes and preconceptions.
Um, I had Pearsons, I wasdressed differently in the same
(31:58):
way that I love listening toYclef and Mary J.
Blige is the same way that Ilove listening to Christian rock
and um rap Christian rapperslike Dax and songs like Carrie
Underwood.
So I feel like I'm a mix of somany different things.
And I just feel that peopledidn't know where to put me, and
(32:18):
and and they misunderstood mebecause they couldn't quite
understand where to put comfort,what box should we put comfort
in?
And I couldn't can recollectthat.
Um I started to then recognizethe hostility that I I would get
sometimes because of that, andeven within what was deemed to
(32:40):
be my community, my very firstrecollection of racism, so to
say, was from someone thatlooked exactly like me, and that
was hard for me to understand.
And um, a a doctor that I knewat the time that had come from
the UK referred to as implicitracism, and it was a word that
(33:01):
I'd never understood before, butI I started to see it to be
when people are unable to ummake sense of something new to
them, they it's almost like afight or flight, so they'll
either embrace it or they willreact to it with hostility, and
I found that most people reactedwith hostility towards not
(33:26):
knowing where to put my variedboxes, so to say.
With regards to that, thatastonished me, and I began to
shrink and withdraw even more,doubting who I was.
I was just very broken, I wasvery broken at the time.
Um, but then I realized thatplaying small, it didn't protect
(33:49):
me.
Um, it only erased who I was,and that wasn't what God wanted
for me, and he reminded me sooften that um his plans for me
were good and not for evil.
And I remember verses like,Come on to me, or who are
burdened and heavy laden, andI'll give you rest.
(34:11):
And I felt that he wanted togive me rest with all the
conflicts that I was feeling atthe time.
And I'll give you two storiesof how that started to shift.
One poignant story was umduring the early season, I was
befriended by this um couple,this um senior couple, and they
(34:36):
were very nice, and they invitedme to lunch.
And the wife, she um she wasvery insecure about how she
looked.
And I remember on my way there,not too far from their house,
um, one of my church sisters wasdriving me there, and I asked
her to park up, and I started totake off my earrings, I took
off my high heels, and um Istarted to put on some joggers
(35:00):
because I was wearing a modestsummer dress, but I knew it made
me look more petite than usual.
And this lady I was aware wasinsecure because she was um she
was overweight, and I I my mychurch sister was looking, she
was like, Comfort, what are youdoing?
(35:20):
And I said, Well, I don't wanther to feel bad, you know.
And she said, But that's notyour responsibility, and I said,
Uh yeah, it's not, and I knewit wasn't something that I
should do, um, because I waschanging who I was to try and
make someone else feel morecomfortable, and I think I was
(35:41):
doing a disservice to God bydoing that, and following that
recently um that realizationtaught me self-acceptance, and
that self-acceptance isn'tarrogance, that it's just about
gratitude, it's gratitude on howGod has made you and the
(36:02):
courage to live in your truth,even when it's uncomfortable.
And that follows through to uma close a close colleague of
mine made me aware of um aworkplace bully that I had,
which I hadn't noticed orthought of it to be bullying.
So this individual would alwaysmake comments that comfort you
(36:25):
always dress so fancy, don't youown a pair of jeans and don't
you wear joggers?
And it's something that youcould, you know, think of it to
be harmless banter, but then Irealized that no, that I she was
targeting me for this, and so Iremembered what I did about
(36:46):
changing how I appear to makesomeone feel comfortable.
So, what I did was on mybirthday, usually on my
birthdays, I try and schedule itto have it off so I can spend
some time with God.
It's a sacred time for me, andon my birthday, I um ordered a
dainty tiara from Amazon and Iwore it to work with a dress,
(37:09):
almost to say, is this fancyenough for you?
And I think she was shockedbecause of the boldness doing
that, but that began that beganmy turning point, and it truly
started me accepting me,accepting my voice, accepting my
presence, um, accepting that Icould walk into a room with
(37:32):
grace and strength and still behumble, and that my light didn't
have to be dim for someoneelse.
So learning that mistake,coming out of it in that sense,
has strengthened me to be who Iam, striving to become more and
more each day.
unknown (37:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Oh, I love that example because I think so many
people dim themselves becauseother people don't like their
shine.
Yes.
And um, I I think you know,like I'm a six-foot woman and um
I wear heels, comfort.
Good.
And I wear big heels.
Speaker (38:07):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
But I get that um that kind of comments, like that
it's it's it's not a it's likea bullying comment.
It's like, look, I'm wearingthem because they look really
nice, they make dresses looknice.
Yes, absolutely.
And I but I'm six foot threewith but I I you know what I'm
gonna just listening to you.
(38:29):
I'm I'm gonna work at shiningmore.
Speaker (38:31):
Yes, yeah, like I think you should, and I I don't think
it's about being proud andbeing prideful, it's not.
I think in in changing who youare, it I think it does God a
disservice because he's made youwonderful in the way you are,
he's made you perfect, and youare a reflection of God, and I
(38:54):
think in trying to toneourselves down and behave in
ways that it doesn't dignify whoGod is in us, and so I think we
need to be as truthful toourselves as much as we can in
the spaces that we can.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah, oh, I love it.
Um, I'm gonna skip right to ourlast question.
Uh, you you have talked, you'vegiven so many great stories.
Um, I'm loving it.
Uh uh, and just you know knowthat you are a very busy woman,
but want to know what brings youthe greatest joy?
Ooh.
Speaker (39:30):
What brings me the greatest joy?
I would say the love of family.
I'll definitely say the love offamily.
There'll always be ups anddowns with family, and that kind
of stands through distance anddisappointments and and and and
time, it does, and that'sunmeasurable.
(39:51):
Um, apart from my immediatefamily who have grounded me and
undoubtedly have been mygreatest cheerleader through my
journey.
Um, I'm very private and I'mviciously protective of them
because they're sacred to me.
Um, my mother, my sister, andmy cousins.
Um, I thank them so much.
They mean the world to me.
(40:13):
Um, I've also adopted somefamily here.
Um, Nana Gail, as I call her,Uncle Glenn and Dr.
Andy, and um, those few angelsof God that God has sent around
my way.
Um, I've stubbornly decided notto let go of them.
And seeing transformation inothers also brings me immense
(40:33):
joy, whether it's um a patientrecovering, a colleague
rediscovering their voice, um,or simply remembering their
worth.
And something that I hold closedearly to me, Lisa, is that God
has given me um I don't I don'tknow whether it's a skill, I
just think he's blessed me inbeing able to provide a safe
(40:56):
space for others.
Um, I can't quite explain whatit is, but I even have strangers
who will walk up to me and pourout their life, they'll pour
out their traumas, pour outtheir concerns, and um for them
to be able to trust me withthose vulnerable parts of their
life, I'm so humbled by it.
(41:16):
And um, it's what I call myquiet ministry.
And um, I think mine is just tobe able to listen in that way,
and um on a personal level atthe moment, uh, what brings me
joy is I I found being able tospend some quiet time with God
in the morning.
Um, I'm I'm not quite therewith the 4 a.m.
(41:37):
wake and reading the Bible forhours on end at the moment.
Mine is more playing songs anddancing around and screaming and
shouting and praising his name,and and that has brought me
such tremendous joy.
And so that's the kind of joythat doesn't depend on
(41:59):
circumstances but on thepresence, or knowing that even
in the silent, silent moment I'mI'm exactly where I'm meant to
be.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you listening to you um andGod putting uh people coming to
you and and do you do you thinksomething is changing for you?
Are you are you just excited tosee in the opportunities?
I just I feel like there'sthings changing for you.
Speaker (42:28):
Do you I agree with you?
I agree with you, and itfrightens me.
Oh yeah.
I shared I shared with youbefore I came on the podcast,
and and so I must admit thatthat Lisa's been trying to get
me on the podcast for a while,and I don't know whether it's
because of the season of me umshying away and hiding myself
(42:52):
that it's made me feel veryvulnerable in that way.
But each time I I think aboutthe space that I'm um occupying
at the moment, it excites mebecause I know that I I will be
that voice for those people thatdon't have that voice, but it
frightens me as well because Iknow I'm imperfect and um I just
(43:17):
don't know where God's takingme.
I know it's going to be awhirlwind, and and so it it does
frighten me at times as well.
Um but I I am excited, I I canfeel that there's a shift, and I
feel that something is brewing,and I know it's going to be
something really great.
Um but it it's frightening, itis frightening.
(43:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
I can I can agree with the frightening and
exciting all at the same timebecause I you don't know where
you're going, but it's like I'mgonna put my trust and I'm gonna
I'm gonna show up every day,I'm gonna continue to work hard
and I don't you know and andthank God for every moment and
and where are we going?
Speaker (43:59):
It is all that, Lisa, and and my journey, like I said,
I feel I at the moment I feelthat if my journey can make just
one person feel seen orencouraged, then it's been
worthwhile.
Um when I leave this world inmany, many, many years to come.
Um, I hope that people justdon't remember me for what I've
(44:21):
achieved, um, but how I've madethem feel, you know, made them
feel valued, made them feelunderstood and loved.
Yeah.
Um that that's that's what Ireally want.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Oh comfort, it has been an uh awesome 45 minutes
with you.
I have just sat there and mycheeks hurt from smiling and my
heart is full.
I want to just thank you forjust joining us.
And I'm glad you finally saidyes.
I'm like, Comfort, it's justgonna be fun.
He did say so.
And you just you did excellent.
Um, if people want to connectwith you, find you, um, how can
(44:55):
they do that?
What is the best way?
Speaker (44:57):
They can find me on LinkedIn at the moment, just
DrC, Doctor Doc C.
Or they can find me on thehandle on X or Instagram at Dr C
underscore O T C W D R C.
O T C W D R C.
And um, that's just a snippetof things to come, so it may not
(45:20):
make sense what that handlemeans just now, but it will make
sense in times to come.
That's awesome.
Thank you, Dr.
C, for joining us.
Thank you so much for havingme, Lisa.
I really appreciated this timethat we've had together.
Oh, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
All right, listeners, I want to thank you for
engaging with us.
Uh, if you're part of LeaderImpact, you can always discuss
or share this podcast with yourgroup.
And if you are not yet part ofLeader Impact and would like to
find out more and grow yourleadership, find our podcast
page on our website atLeaderImpact.ca.
You can also check out groupsavailable in Canada at
LeaderImpact.ca.
Or if you're listening fromanywhere else in the world,
(45:59):
check out LeaderImpact.com orget in touch with us by email.
Info at LeaderImpact.ca, and wewill connect you.
And if you like this podcast,please leave us a comment, give
us a rating or review.
This will help other globalleaders find our podcast.
Thank you for engaging with us,and remember, impact starts
(46:19):
with you.
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