October 4, 2024 • 14 mins
Do you ever grapple with anxiety and/or imposter syndrome as a leader? Join us as we dive into the importance of personal development in leadership, in order to be the best leader possible. From reactive to responsive interactions, we share helpful tools you can use to shift your state, not only in stressful moments at work, but in the long term so you can grow.
Do you have the skills to ensure you are always regulated and responsive as a leader?
If you want to understand how to stay calm and keep embracing your growth, you should give this one a listen.
To have your questions answered on the show, submit your story here: https://allthrive.ca/share-your-story
Leadership Ripples with Leah Fink is live every week at 12:00pm MST. Please join us to get answers to your leadership questions! https://www.linkedin.com/in/leah-fink-all-thrive/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Every action you take as a leader has a ripple effect
, starting with your team, goingout to the organization and
even out into people's personallives.
Here we offer you the chance tolearn from real-life stories of
leadership so you can gain adeeper understanding and level
up your own skills Fromcommunication to culture, to
power and equity, to feedback,to resolving conflict and more.
(00:23):
Join us and make sure you'recreating the ripples you want.
Welcome to Leadership Rippleswith Leah Fink.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello and welcome to Leadership Ripples with Leah
Fink.
Today we are going to betalking about anxiety and
confidence and what that lookslike in a leadership role when
you're maybe struggling withsome of those things.
Emmy shares their story.
I am a newer, young leader inmy company.
I've been here for a couple ofyears and wanted to advance my
(00:53):
career and get a pay bump, so Iapplied for a leadership
position.
I honestly didn't think I wouldget it.
Since I did get it, it's beenquite stressful.
Mostly, I'm suffering fromanxiety and a bad case of
imposter syndrome.
I'm younger and lessexperienced than some of the
people on my team, but mostlywhat keeps going through my head
is why should they listen toyou?
(01:13):
What would you suggest to helpme be more confident in my
position?
So, emmy, first of all, thankyou so much for sharing, and I
can certainly appreciate howhard it is when you have this
sense of imposter syndrome andthis anxiety around leadership.
There is a lot of responsibilityto good leadership and it's not
uncommon for people to feelworried or stressed when they
(01:35):
take on a leadership position.
Even more experienced leaderswho are confident in other areas
might find points that theycome up to that they do feel
more insecure about that.
They find things come up forthem in these new situations
that their confidence does waverand when you question yourself
like that, as a leader, you'redoing exactly what you should,
because I want to appreciatethat you are being aware of this
(01:57):
and that you're looking toimprove it early in your
leadership career, in yourjourney.
I've unfortunately worked withsome high level leaders who have
gone through long careers, longleadership journeys, with still
holding some anxiety or thislack of confidence or imposter
syndrome, and you can see notonly how it's affected them
through all that time, but alsoaffected the people that they
(02:20):
were trying to help, all thesedifferent teams that they've led
in that time.
Also, it's just great to bringthis forward because it really
highlights how interconnectedour personal development journey
and our leadership journey needto be to be really healthy.
The more that you can knowabout yourself, your foibles,
your pain points, your strengths, your challenges, all of those
(02:41):
nitty gritty pieces inside ofyou the better the leader you
can be.
And if you don't do that work,if you're not willing to look at
this stuff, if you try to hideyour head in the sand, you can
take all the leadership coursesin the world.
You can read every book, listento every leadership podcast.
You will never reach your fullpotential as a leader and you
will be doing a disservice tothe people that you're trying to
(03:01):
help.
Before we start this discussionwith lots of ideas and a comment
like that, I do want toencourage you, emmy, to take
this slowly.
Don't let it become thisoverwhelming thing of all these
things you should be doing rightaway, or that you'll feel like
a failure.
I'm a recovering perfectionistand I know sometimes, when I
asked for something and I heardgood advice, I'd want to, you
(03:22):
know, do everything at once andfix it all at once, and then I'd
get more stressed thinkingabout all the things I needed to
do because I didn't have themfigured out yet.
Of course, that won't help withanxiety, that won't help in
this situation, and I just wantto say, as we start you have
time to absorb this, to trythings out, to do this personal
work.
So try a little piece at a time.
Don't worry too much about this.
Just slowly incorporate intoyour work.
(03:44):
When we're doing all of thistype of personal work because
this is more on that personalside there's so, so, so many
different approaches you cantake, and I'm only going to
touch on a couple ideas and I'llbreak them down into things
that you can do while you're inthe moment stressing out, and
what you can do when you're notdirectly in the situation.
A bit calmer Now.
Let's start with what to do inthe moment.
(04:10):
One of the reasons thataddressing this personal work is
so hard is that when you getinto these challenging,
stressful situations, your braingets hijacked.
It's sending signals to yourbody, it's sending signals to
different parts of the brain andit is in protection or survival
mode.
In these moments, when we startto get stressed, it goes in the
survival thing and we can nolonger operate out of our
prefrontal cortex, which is thisnice, calm, rational place
(04:31):
where we get to think things outand we get to think about
things clearly.
So when you're getting stressedand anxious in the office, you
no longer are thinking logicallyabout the situation and you're
going to become reactive.
And I suspect most people havehad a reactive leader and you
know how hard it can be to workwith them when they are reacting
to something.
And since you don't want to bethat leader, let's take steps to
(04:54):
calm your body and mind,because that's when we can be
responsive and we can settleinto this state.
That's a lot better way ofinteracting with people, because
you don't want your team tohave to experience that.
A really easy way to do this isto start with breath, and there
are a million people that dodifferent types of breath work
out there, and I encourage youto look into some different
options.
Maybe there's one that you findreally resonates with you
(05:17):
around anxiety, or maybe there'sjust one that you really like
from a meditation or yogapractice you have.
Feel free to explore that wholegambit and pick something that
you really like.
But just the act of taking acouple nice deep breaths brings
you back to the moment, calmsyour nervous system, and anxiety
is usually either about what'shappened in the past that you're
(05:38):
dwelling on or what's going tohappen on the future, bringing
that focus back to the presentmoment.
All that's happening right nowexisting in your body, that
you're safe, that you're alive,is a really good thing, and the
nice thing about this kind ofthing any sort of quick
breathing exercise or even justbreathing and being aware of it
is you can do this at any point.
You can be in the middle of aconversation with someone,
(06:00):
notice yourself starting to getanxious, starting to feel that
response, maybe a tenseness inyour body, and you can take
those couple breaths, take thatmini chance to regroup and now
you're moving in a different wayforward.
I'm also a big fan of using yourbody as part of your grounding
tool.
More of that somatic work andthe one I like does take a
couple minutes, so it wouldn'twork so well in a conversation
(06:22):
but if you were in your office,maybe alone, and you notice
yourself starting to get tenseand worried about something that
you're doing, you can do this.
So start breathing and as youtake a deep breath in, you can
start to notice what's happeningwith your feet.
Are they hot, are they cold,are they tingly, how do they
feel?
And you're not judging, you'renot trying to fix anything.
(06:42):
You're just observing the stateof them and you can move all
the way up your body with thatRight.
Just observing the state ofthem and you can move all the
way up your body with that right.
You can move to your calves andyour knees and your thighs,
slowly going up and just feelingevery part of your body.
If you want to relax even more,too, you can take a breath in
and tense that part of your body, take a breath out, relax that
part of your body and it reallyjust helps again calm this
(07:03):
system.
That's proprioceptivelysoothing to your body, that nice
tightness and squeeze and thenrelease and the piece too.
With your body as this tool aswe're using it is, we also store
so much of our tension andtrauma and all these challenges,
all these nitty gritty thingsthat we hold on to in our bodies
, and sometimes just bringingthe awareness to the body also
(07:25):
helps you understand what thatthing is better, how you're
holding on to it, and it mighthelp you move past it, because
the body and mind are incrediblylinked.
So maybe you're listening tothis and you're like come on,
leah, this is obvious.
Everyone talks about breathwork.
I know this kind of stuff andto those people, I'm going to
challenge you to do it more,because I've met an awful lot of
(07:45):
people who know this, who don'tpractice it as much as they
think they do and they stillhave their own stuff come up and
they're not always regulatedemotionally when they're in the
office.
So if you think, yeah, Itotally got this, I know this, I
do this practice, I'm justgoing to challenge you do it a
bit more Really.
Make sure maybe you havemultiple five-minute spaces a
day where you're doing this work.
(08:06):
Maybe you're doing deeper workto really recognize when you are
stressing out even just thatlittle bit, because it's very
rare to find someone who is notstressed by work.
So it is easy to say it isharder to practice.
So, really, whatever levelyou're at with this, make sure
you're putting that time in, andthose five minutes here and
there are going to make you waymore productive for the rest of
(08:28):
the day, decrease your stresslevel, which is something we all
need as leaders.
So take the time.
It's very worth it.
And, like I said, look forresources outside of me.
I'm not going to claim to bethe expert, be all, end all on
this side of me.
I'm not going to claim to bethe expert, be all, end all on
this, and ME especially for you.
Pick a couple, practice them,see what happens.
How are you feeling?
What does your body feel like?
What does your mind feel likein those moments?
With that, let's move on to alittle bit of what we want to be
(08:52):
doing in a healthy mindset, andthat's more of this exploration
piece, because we know ourbrain got hijacked.
When we're in that stressfulsituation, when we're in the
calm situation, is the time wewant to focus on that growth
piece, that really personalexploration of what's happening.
And there are some things toconsider.
When we're more common,rational and even if you notice
yourself sometimes in reflectionof these things, you might
(09:14):
notice yourself getting elevatedbecause you're poking at things
that were kind of dormant atthose times, and if you notice
that you can do that breathing,you can do that grounding, come
back to calm when you're in asafe space and then you can
continue considering thesepieces.
So what would you do forpersonal reflection?
There's lots of different waysyou can do this, but just to
start with a basic eitherjournaling or writing out some
(09:35):
thoughts.
We're just going to do somereflective questions and there's
a couple different ones I mightconsider.
So what, first of, are yourbeliefs about what a leader
needs to do to be prepared?
What would make a leader not animposter?
What kind of skills do leadershave that you want to ensure
that you have, that you'redisplaying with your team?
What makes you uncomfortableabout leadership and why?
(09:57):
Where else in your life isthere this feeling of imposter
syndrome, or where else in yourlife is there feelings of
anxiety?
What benefits do you get fromimposter syndrome and what
benefits do you get from anxiety?
What negative or positiveimpacts might your team be
experiencing based on yourleadership?
That one might be a littleharder to think about, right,
(10:17):
that one might get the bloodpumping.
What else would you like to knowabout your leadership journey?
There are so many questions youcan ask yourself.
You can look into.
We'll talk about, of course aswell.
Choose maybe one or two everytime you take a little bit of
time to reflect, write down whatcomes up, consider it, give
yourself that space and thenfrom there maybe you do choose
(10:38):
to take some action, becausethere are potential actions that
might come up.
Right, if you believe thatleaders do need to have some
sort of training before they canbe a good and effective leader,
great, you can look intotraining, maybe through your job
, maybe it's on your own time,because this is important to you
.
You want to look into thoseresources, obviously.
(11:01):
Obviously, there may be actionsthat are more like doing
check-ins with your team, maybesomething your anxiety and
imposter syndrome comes fromthinking oh God, they hate me,
they must hate my leadership?
Why am I doing it Right?
And those kinds of thoughts youcan address by talking to your
team a little bit more.
We've done some great episodeson feedback.
You can go listen to those.
How are you getting thatfeedback from your team to know
if you're doing a good job withthem and helping them or what
(11:22):
would they like to see shifted?
And there may be actions.
Of course, that will also helpyou reinforce some of those
positive thoughts and move awayfrom some of the negative
mantras that are kind ofrepeating in your head.
So when you have impostersyndrome and you're telling
yourself, why should they evenlisten to me?
What's something else that youcould tell yourself that might
also support that?
And when you're doing work likethat, I do just want to warn
(11:45):
that there can be a fine linebetween starting to create this
space of positive thoughts andways of reinforcing once you
have done this exploration, onceyou've really sat in and
understood this piece.
And there's also a way thatsometimes people try to ignore
what's happening, bury theirhead in the sand a little bit
and just say positive things andhope that'll work.
Now, not that positive thingswon't help your brain it's a
(12:06):
really healthy thing, but theyreally do work best together.
They work much better whenyou've had that chance to kind
of explore the icky stuff.
And then two, in this wholeprocess, just be gentle with
yourself.
It's hard work, it's going totake some time.
Nothing's going to beinstantaneous that you're
suddenly going to be like oh whywas I?
Everyone knows about impostersyndrome.
Why was I feeling that?
(12:26):
Of course, I'm super qualifiedand happy?
Probably not going to happenright away.
But as you explore these pieces, you'll start to get more
comfortable in yourself, moreconfident in yourself.
And then, when those hardermoments come up, you've built
more skills, you've built moreof a resource base that you can
go oh man, now I'm feelinguncomfortable again with this
new thing.
Okay, I'm going to calm myselfdown.
(12:47):
I'm going to reflect on what'shappening for me that's bringing
up that discomfort.
This is, like I said, some deepwork.
Certainly, if you have othersupport for it, if you have a
therapist, if you have a coach,someone who's helping you
understand this, or even afriend that you can talk through
some of this reflection with,that'll help as well.
Bring it forward into the world.
Bring forward some of thoseicky pieces, though it might not
(13:07):
be that comfortable, so youhave to look at them if you want
to ever move past them.
So I hope this helped.
I certainly want to help more,emi, and I'm very much looking
forward to our conversations,because I've got some other
tools I'd like to share with youas a reminder to all our
listeners.
If you have a story that youwant to share, we would love to
have it.
And as a thank you for that, Iprovide some time after, so we
(13:28):
make sure your question is fullyanswered as a way of saying
thank you so much for sharingwith us.
And I finally want to thank youfor listening and learning with
me and hopefully you'rethanking yourself for putting in
this kind of effort to do thatpersonal development work.
Like I said, it's absolutelycritical for leaders.
So thank you so much for doingthat.
And as we close, remember toask yourself what kind of
(13:50):
cripples am I going to createthis week?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
We hope you enjoyed the episode.
Make sure to subscribe, commentand connect with Leah at
meetleahca.
Every action you take as a leader has a ripple effect
, starting with your team, goingout to the organization and
even out into people's personallives.
Here we offer you the chance tolearn from real-life stories of
leadership so you can gain adeeper understanding and level
up your own skills Fromcommunication to culture, to
power and equity, to feedback,to resolving conflict and more.
(00:23):
Join us and make sure you'recreating the ripples you want.
Welcome to Leadership Rippleswith Leah Fink.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello and welcome to Leadership Ripples with Leah
Fink.
Today we are going to betalking about anxiety and
confidence and what that lookslike in a leadership role when
you're maybe struggling withsome of those things.
Emmy shares their story.
I am a newer, young leader inmy company.
I've been here for a couple ofyears and wanted to advance my
(00:53):
career and get a pay bump, so Iapplied for a leadership
position.
I honestly didn't think I wouldget it.
Since I did get it, it's beenquite stressful.
Mostly, I'm suffering fromanxiety and a bad case of
imposter syndrome.
I'm younger and lessexperienced than some of the
people on my team, but mostlywhat keeps going through my head
is why should they listen toyou?
(01:13):
What would you suggest to helpme be more confident in my
position?
So, emmy, first of all, thankyou so much for sharing, and I
can certainly appreciate howhard it is when you have this
sense of imposter syndrome andthis anxiety around leadership.
There is a lot of responsibilityto good leadership and it's not
uncommon for people to feelworried or stressed when they
(01:35):
take on a leadership position.
Even more experienced leaderswho are confident in other areas
might find points that theycome up to that they do feel
more insecure about that.
They find things come up forthem in these new situations
that their confidence does waverand when you question yourself
like that, as a leader, you'redoing exactly what you should,
because I want to appreciatethat you are being aware of this
(01:57):
and that you're looking toimprove it early in your
leadership career, in yourjourney.
I've unfortunately worked withsome high level leaders who have
gone through long careers, longleadership journeys, with still
holding some anxiety or thislack of confidence or imposter
syndrome, and you can see notonly how it's affected them
through all that time, but alsoaffected the people that they
(02:20):
were trying to help, all thesedifferent teams that they've led
in that time.
Also, it's just great to bringthis forward because it really
highlights how interconnectedour personal development journey
and our leadership journey needto be to be really healthy.
The more that you can knowabout yourself, your foibles,
your pain points, your strengths, your challenges, all of those
(02:41):
nitty gritty pieces inside ofyou the better the leader you
can be.
And if you don't do that work,if you're not willing to look at
this stuff, if you try to hideyour head in the sand, you can
take all the leadership coursesin the world.
You can read every book, listento every leadership podcast.
You will never reach your fullpotential as a leader and you
will be doing a disservice tothe people that you're trying to
(03:01):
help.
Before we start this discussionwith lots of ideas and a comment
like that, I do want toencourage you, emmy, to take
this slowly.
Don't let it become thisoverwhelming thing of all these
things you should be doing rightaway, or that you'll feel like
a failure.
I'm a recovering perfectionistand I know sometimes, when I
asked for something and I heardgood advice, I'd want to, you
(03:22):
know, do everything at once andfix it all at once, and then I'd
get more stressed thinkingabout all the things I needed to
do because I didn't have themfigured out yet.
Of course, that won't help withanxiety, that won't help in
this situation, and I just wantto say, as we start you have
time to absorb this, to trythings out, to do this personal
work.
So try a little piece at a time.
Don't worry too much about this.
Just slowly incorporate intoyour work.
(03:44):
When we're doing all of thistype of personal work because
this is more on that personalside there's so, so, so many
different approaches you cantake, and I'm only going to
touch on a couple ideas and I'llbreak them down into things
that you can do while you're inthe moment stressing out, and
what you can do when you're notdirectly in the situation.
A bit calmer Now.
Let's start with what to do inthe moment.
(04:10):
One of the reasons thataddressing this personal work is
so hard is that when you getinto these challenging,
stressful situations, your braingets hijacked.
It's sending signals to yourbody, it's sending signals to
different parts of the brain andit is in protection or survival
mode.
In these moments, when we startto get stressed, it goes in the
survival thing and we can nolonger operate out of our
prefrontal cortex, which is thisnice, calm, rational place
(04:31):
where we get to think things outand we get to think about
things clearly.
So when you're getting stressedand anxious in the office, you
no longer are thinking logicallyabout the situation and you're
going to become reactive.
And I suspect most people havehad a reactive leader and you
know how hard it can be to workwith them when they are reacting
to something.
And since you don't want to bethat leader, let's take steps to
(04:54):
calm your body and mind,because that's when we can be
responsive and we can settleinto this state.
That's a lot better way ofinteracting with people, because
you don't want your team tohave to experience that.
A really easy way to do this isto start with breath, and there
are a million people that dodifferent types of breath work
out there, and I encourage youto look into some different
options.
Maybe there's one that you findreally resonates with you
(05:17):
around anxiety, or maybe there'sjust one that you really like
from a meditation or yogapractice you have.
Feel free to explore that wholegambit and pick something that
you really like.
But just the act of taking acouple nice deep breaths brings
you back to the moment, calmsyour nervous system, and anxiety
is usually either about what'shappened in the past that you're
(05:38):
dwelling on or what's going tohappen on the future, bringing
that focus back to the presentmoment.
All that's happening right nowexisting in your body, that
you're safe, that you're alive,is a really good thing, and the
nice thing about this kind ofthing any sort of quick
breathing exercise or even justbreathing and being aware of it
is you can do this at any point.
You can be in the middle of aconversation with someone,
(06:00):
notice yourself starting to getanxious, starting to feel that
response, maybe a tenseness inyour body, and you can take
those couple breaths, take thatmini chance to regroup and now
you're moving in a different wayforward.
I'm also a big fan of using yourbody as part of your grounding
tool.
More of that somatic work andthe one I like does take a
couple minutes, so it wouldn'twork so well in a conversation
(06:22):
but if you were in your office,maybe alone, and you notice
yourself starting to get tenseand worried about something that
you're doing, you can do this.
So start breathing and as youtake a deep breath in, you can
start to notice what's happeningwith your feet.
Are they hot, are they cold,are they tingly, how do they
feel?
And you're not judging, you'renot trying to fix anything.
(06:42):
You're just observing the stateof them and you can move all
the way up your body with thatRight.
Just observing the state ofthem and you can move all the
way up your body with that right.
You can move to your calves andyour knees and your thighs,
slowly going up and just feelingevery part of your body.
If you want to relax even more,too, you can take a breath in
and tense that part of your body, take a breath out, relax that
part of your body and it reallyjust helps again calm this
(07:03):
system.
That's proprioceptivelysoothing to your body, that nice
tightness and squeeze and thenrelease and the piece too.
With your body as this tool aswe're using it is, we also store
so much of our tension andtrauma and all these challenges,
all these nitty gritty thingsthat we hold on to in our bodies
, and sometimes just bringingthe awareness to the body also
(07:25):
helps you understand what thatthing is better, how you're
holding on to it, and it mighthelp you move past it, because
the body and mind are incrediblylinked.
So maybe you're listening tothis and you're like come on,
leah, this is obvious.
Everyone talks about breathwork.
I know this kind of stuff andto those people, I'm going to
challenge you to do it more,because I've met an awful lot of
(07:45):
people who know this, who don'tpractice it as much as they
think they do and they stillhave their own stuff come up and
they're not always regulatedemotionally when they're in the
office.
So if you think, yeah, Itotally got this, I know this, I
do this practice, I'm justgoing to challenge you do it a
bit more Really.
Make sure maybe you havemultiple five-minute spaces a
day where you're doing this work.
(08:06):
Maybe you're doing deeper workto really recognize when you are
stressing out even just thatlittle bit, because it's very
rare to find someone who is notstressed by work.
So it is easy to say it isharder to practice.
So, really, whatever levelyou're at with this, make sure
you're putting that time in, andthose five minutes here and
there are going to make you waymore productive for the rest of
(08:28):
the day, decrease your stresslevel, which is something we all
need as leaders.
So take the time.
It's very worth it.
And, like I said, look forresources outside of me.
I'm not going to claim to bethe expert, be all, end all on
this side of me.
I'm not going to claim to bethe expert, be all, end all on
this, and ME especially for you.
Pick a couple, practice them,see what happens.
How are you feeling?
What does your body feel like?
What does your mind feel likein those moments?
With that, let's move on to alittle bit of what we want to be
(08:52):
doing in a healthy mindset, andthat's more of this exploration
piece, because we know ourbrain got hijacked.
When we're in that stressfulsituation, when we're in the
calm situation, is the time wewant to focus on that growth
piece, that really personalexploration of what's happening.
And there are some things toconsider.
When we're more common,rational and even if you notice
yourself sometimes in reflectionof these things, you might
(09:14):
notice yourself getting elevatedbecause you're poking at things
that were kind of dormant atthose times, and if you notice
that you can do that breathing,you can do that grounding, come
back to calm when you're in asafe space and then you can
continue considering thesepieces.
So what would you do forpersonal reflection?
There's lots of different waysyou can do this, but just to
start with a basic eitherjournaling or writing out some
(09:35):
thoughts.
We're just going to do somereflective questions and there's
a couple different ones I mightconsider.
So what, first of, are yourbeliefs about what a leader
needs to do to be prepared?
What would make a leader not animposter?
What kind of skills do leadershave that you want to ensure
that you have, that you'redisplaying with your team?
What makes you uncomfortableabout leadership and why?
(09:57):
Where else in your life isthere this feeling of imposter
syndrome, or where else in yourlife is there feelings of
anxiety?
What benefits do you get fromimposter syndrome and what
benefits do you get from anxiety?
What negative or positiveimpacts might your team be
experiencing based on yourleadership?
That one might be a littleharder to think about, right,
(10:17):
that one might get the bloodpumping.
What else would you like to knowabout your leadership journey?
There are so many questions youcan ask yourself.
You can look into.
We'll talk about, of course aswell.
Choose maybe one or two everytime you take a little bit of
time to reflect, write down whatcomes up, consider it, give
yourself that space and thenfrom there maybe you do choose
(10:38):
to take some action, becausethere are potential actions that
might come up.
Right, if you believe thatleaders do need to have some
sort of training before they canbe a good and effective leader,
great, you can look intotraining, maybe through your job
, maybe it's on your own time,because this is important to you
.
You want to look into thoseresources, obviously.
(11:01):
Obviously, there may be actionsthat are more like doing
check-ins with your team, maybesomething your anxiety and
imposter syndrome comes fromthinking oh God, they hate me,
they must hate my leadership?
Why am I doing it Right?
And those kinds of thoughts youcan address by talking to your
team a little bit more.
We've done some great episodeson feedback.
You can go listen to those.
How are you getting thatfeedback from your team to know
if you're doing a good job withthem and helping them or what
(11:22):
would they like to see shifted?
And there may be actions.
Of course, that will also helpyou reinforce some of those
positive thoughts and move awayfrom some of the negative
mantras that are kind ofrepeating in your head.
So when you have impostersyndrome and you're telling
yourself, why should they evenlisten to me?
What's something else that youcould tell yourself that might
also support that?
And when you're doing work likethat, I do just want to warn
(11:45):
that there can be a fine linebetween starting to create this
space of positive thoughts andways of reinforcing once you
have done this exploration, onceyou've really sat in and
understood this piece.
And there's also a way thatsometimes people try to ignore
what's happening, bury theirhead in the sand a little bit
and just say positive things andhope that'll work.
Now, not that positive thingswon't help your brain it's a
(12:06):
really healthy thing, but theyreally do work best together.
They work much better whenyou've had that chance to kind
of explore the icky stuff.
And then two, in this wholeprocess, just be gentle with
yourself.
It's hard work, it's going totake some time.
Nothing's going to beinstantaneous that you're
suddenly going to be like oh whywas I?
Everyone knows about impostersyndrome.
Why was I feeling that?
(12:26):
Of course, I'm super qualifiedand happy?
Probably not going to happenright away.
But as you explore these pieces, you'll start to get more
comfortable in yourself, moreconfident in yourself.
And then, when those hardermoments come up, you've built
more skills, you've built moreof a resource base that you can
go oh man, now I'm feelinguncomfortable again with this
new thing.
Okay, I'm going to calm myselfdown.
(12:47):
I'm going to reflect on what'shappening for me that's bringing
up that discomfort.
This is, like I said, some deepwork.
Certainly, if you have othersupport for it, if you have a
therapist, if you have a coach,someone who's helping you
understand this, or even afriend that you can talk through
some of this reflection with,that'll help as well.
Bring it forward into the world.
Bring forward some of thoseicky pieces, though it might not
(13:07):
be that comfortable, so youhave to look at them if you want
to ever move past them.
So I hope this helped.
I certainly want to help more,emi, and I'm very much looking
forward to our conversations,because I've got some other
tools I'd like to share with youas a reminder to all our
listeners.
If you have a story that youwant to share, we would love to
have it.
And as a thank you for that, Iprovide some time after, so we
(13:28):
make sure your question is fullyanswered as a way of saying
thank you so much for sharingwith us.
And I finally want to thank youfor listening and learning with
me and hopefully you'rethanking yourself for putting in
this kind of effort to do thatpersonal development work.
Like I said, it's absolutelycritical for leaders.
So thank you so much for doingthat.
And as we close, remember toask yourself what kind of
(13:50):
cripples am I going to createthis week?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
We hope you enjoyed the episode.
Make sure to subscribe, commentand connect with Leah at
meetleahca.
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