September 4, 2024 • 48 mins
How can leaders harness their personal power by developing self-awareness and emotional control? What role does self-regulation play in effective leadership? In these difficult times, especially for corporate companies, leading effectively hinges not just on technical skills but on a leader’s capacity for self-regulation and emotional control.
In this Leading with Power & Purpose episode, we'll explore those questions with Dr. Yasmin Davidds. She is an entrepreneur, organizational psychologist, and CEO of the Dr. Yasmin Davidds Leadership Institute and Multicultural Women Executive Leadership Foundation. These organizations are dedicated to teaching and developing leadership competencies, primarily focused on women in professional corporate and entrepreneurial settings.
Listen in as we explore the concept of personal power and its role in building leadership effectiveness. You will also learn how to navigate “playing the game” without having to lose yourself in the process.
Key Takeaways:
- How self-awareness can serve as the foundation for authentic and effective leadership.
- The importance of emotional control in maintaining personal power and making smart decisions.
- Practical tips for developing self-regulation as a core leadership competency.
- How to use self-awareness to build stronger relationships and lead with greater impact.
What You Will Learn in This Episode:
- (02:45) How Dr. Yasmin’s career journey started when she was actually just 5 years old
- (07:04) Why personal power and emotional control is crucial in leadership
- (12:09) How embracing personal experiences, including discomfort, is essential for leading yourself and others.
- (20:20) Strategies for reframing conflicts to communicate your values and resolve issues effectively.
- (24:05) The challenges that C-suite women leaders face and how self-awareness can help
- (34:04) External pressures push CEOs to choose women leaders, but the shift should come from within.
Book Recommendations:
- Graciously Assertive: How Becoming a Better Human Makes You a Better Leader - Dr. Yasmin Davidds
- Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao - Dr. Wayne Dyer
- The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way - Dr. Wayne Dyer
Connect with Dr. Yasmin:
- Website: https://www.dryasminedavidds.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dryasminedavidds
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HOST INFO:
Sabine Gedeon is a dynamic force in the world of leadership and personal development. As the Founder of Transformed Leadership Institute and CEO of Gedeon Enterprises, Sabine leverages nearly 20 years of experience to guide clients in both startups and Fortune 500 companies. Her unique approach combines human-centered principles with tech-enabled solutions, delivering customized programs for leaders at all levels to tackle crucial leadership and talent development challenges.
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ADDITIONAL SUPPORT:
Download Free Resources - https://sabinegedeon/gifts
Get Coaching Support: https://meetwithsabine.as.me/Discovery
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you tired of playing smalland ready to step confidently
into your greatness and shareyour unique brilliance with the
world?
Well, you're in the right place.
I'm your host, Sabine Gideon,and I've dedicated nearly two
decades empowering individualsand leaders as they confidently
navigate the twists and turns oflife and career transitions.
If you're seeking direction,connection, or just a little
(00:22):
push to play bigger, considerthis podcast, your VIP path to a
community that genuinelyunderstands your journey.
Join me every week for candidconversations and practical
guidance designed to help younavigate the challenges of life
and business, foster a growthmindset and cultivate meaningful
connections.
It's time to embrace yourinherent power, define your
(00:44):
unique purpose and prosper inevery aspect of your life.
Let's get started.
Sabine (00:54):
Hello and welcome to another episode I'm your host
Sabine Gideon, and I'm excitedto be back with another female
powerhouse.
So if you're completely new tome, of course, I'm the host of
the show.
I am also the CEO of Gideonenterprises, a professional
development firm that works withorganizations and leaders who
are looking to uplevel.
And support their personal andprofessional development goals.
(01:16):
So with me, I have an amazingguest and you guys missed the
earlier part of the juicyconversation, but I'm sure
you'll get plenty of that.
So today with me is Dr.
Yasmine Davids.
She is an entrepreneur,organizational psychologist, and
CEO of the Dr.
Yasmine Davids LeadershipInstitute and Multicultural
(01:36):
Women Executive LeadershipFoundation.
These are organizationsdedicated to teaching.
Instruction and development ofleadership competencies,
primarily focused on women inprofessional corporate and
entrepreneurial settings.
She has been recognized andhighlighted as one of the top
leading Latinas by Hispanicmagazine, and as one of the most
(01:56):
influential Latinas in the bookof Latina women, how awesome.
Welcome to the show.
Dr.
Yasmeen.
I am so excited to have youhere.
Dr. Yasmin (02:06):
so much for having me.
I'm super excited about being onyour show.
I've heard great things.
I've read great things about it.
I've heard some of the episodesand they're The conversations
are amazing.
Sabine (02:15):
Oh, Thank you so much.
Well, I have been, um, I've beenfollowing you since you've come
into my orbit, uh, the lastcouple of months and every,
every post hits hard.
And so I am excited to have thisconversation and, you know, of
course, as always the audienceis in for a treat, but before we
get into the nitty gritty, Iwould love for you to share, you
(02:38):
know, the cliff notes version ofyour career journey, all the
work that you've done that.
Has led up to the work thatyou're doing today.
Dr. Yasmin (02:45):
I would say that my career journey really started at
the age of five years old.
And people say, what do youmean?
I said, well, that is when Ifound my life purpose.
And that is because I grew up ina very dysfunctional family
where my father was very abusivetowards my mother and my mother,
my sisters.
And I, and I asked my mom at theage of five, mommy, you know, my
mother, immigrant didn't speakEnglish, came from Mexico.
(03:06):
My father from Ecuador to the US.
I said, Mommy, like, we have toleave, like, I knew, like, this
is not good, like, that it hurtsus.
And, and, and she says, Mija, Idon't speak the English
language.
I don't have any skills.
If we leave, we'll be homeless.
This is just the way things are.
And I say, Oh, no, Mommy, when Igrow up, I'm going to change the
(03:27):
world to make it better forwomen.
I didn't know how I was going todo it.
I didn't know it, but I nowbelieve it was my only way to
find hope.
In my life.
If not, if I didn't find hope,there would be no purpose to
live at age five.
That's how bad it was for us.
So I made a decision at that ageand I don't know where I got my
little guts.
that I can change the world.
(03:47):
But everything I did movingforward was even like protecting
little girls on the playground,making sure bullies, you know,
were disciplined, making sure itwas, it was fighting an
injustice, um, and growing upfocusing on helping women become
the best versions of themselves.
And at the age of eight, I askedmy mom, mommy, it's gotten real
(04:09):
bad.
We got to go.
And she says, you know, yourgrandma told me as long as I was
a good, uh, wife, I'd be takencare of.
She never told me the price Ihave to pay to, and she said,
whatever you do, don't be likeme, get your education because
she had a third grade education.
And I didn't, at that moment, Imade a choice that I was going
to be the most educated Latina.
No surprise.
I have my PhD, right?
(04:29):
So I do believe these choices wemake in childhood do determine
who we become as adults.
So my focus now in my career andthe businesses that I build, my
companies that I build, thebooks that I write, everything
is focused on helping womenunderstand that the choices they
made in childhood could behelping them and also could be
hurting them if they werechoices made on a survival
(04:50):
basis.
And really freeing them fromtrauma that has caused them to
play low, play little, and nowopen them up to become the best
version of themselves, helpingthem heal, to be able to go to
the next level and become thebest version of themselves as
leaders, as business, whateverit may be, to play big, to think
(05:11):
big, to be big in their life.
Sabine (05:15):
I love that.
There are so many nuggets I wantto take away first and foremost,
you know, thank you so much for,for sharing and for being
vulnerable.
And, you know, I love the factthat, you know, you have.
You have such a vivid memory of,you know, those key pivotal
moments that made you decide,this is who I'm going to be.
This is what I'm going to standfor.
(05:35):
This is what I'm going torepresent.
And so I think that that is agreat segue into the
conversation here because we'rehaving this conversation around.
Um, power and our relationshipto power amongst other things
that we'll talk about.
But first and foremost, youknow, you speak a lot on the
experiences of, uh, women ofcolor, first generation in
(05:59):
corporate environments andbusiness and everything else.
And you're able to provide thisreal life, uh, expertise because
you've lived it.
on the challenges, the unspokenthings, right?
We know that in corporate, thereare unwritten rules, but there
are unspoken challenges, um, oryou don't things that you don't
see that people areexperiencing.
(06:19):
Um, we just see the highlightreels, right?
We just see the accolades and weassume, oh, okay.
Yeah.
They, they had it all together,but don't know.
The generations of messaging, ifyou will, or paradigms that they
had to work through to be ableto to change that are still
working through.
And so, given your experiences,I'm so interested in hearing
(06:41):
what your responses are to thisparticular question.
So, You know, when you thinkabout just where you are today
and all the experiences thatyou've lived out, how do you
personally perceive thedifferences between power,
authority, and influence, and Ishould probably say how do you
define the three, and then howdo you personally perceive the
differences between the three.
Dr. Yasmin (07:04):
So I'll start with power and there, I see two
different types of personalpower, you know, personal power.
I see it as power over feelingyou have power over your life
agency over your life, everydecision you make self managing
your emotions self managingunderstanding that there's going
to be grief and loss and youwill hurt, but yet you want
(07:28):
peace of fully understanding thepower you have.
In your self awareness, socialawareness in your self
regulation.
That's that's what I callpersonal power and understanding
that you can manage and controlalmost every aspect of your
life.
Of course, the world in theuniverse will do what it's going
to do, but not feeling everfeeling that you are powerless,
(07:51):
even in making a decision.
So that's personal power.
Now power, utilizing power tomake things happen is being able
to use your resources, whetherit's relationships, whether it's
money, whether it's status,whether whatever it is to make
things happen, whatever that maybe.
(08:11):
Right.
That's how I define utilizingpower.
Right.
And so I choose to utilize mypower and resources to make
things happen.
In order to further.
The betterment of women for themost part, because that is my
purpose.
I mean, humanity in general, butwomen is where my heart
(08:32):
authority, I would say is atitle.
A title, you usually only haveauthority when you have a title.
Once that title is gone, thatauthority is gone, because then
it shifts to influence, right?
Influence is when you are ableto make things happen on
whatever resources you may use.
(08:52):
It may be authority, it may berelationships, but you're able
to make an impact, or you'reable to make a difference, or
you're able to, once again, makethings happen.
With whatever resources you mayuse, it may be for good
purposes, bad purposes, but Iwould say authority is only
position driven and influencethen is beyond a position
(09:14):
driven.
Sabine (09:15):
Okay.
Okay.
So it sounds like if I'm hearingyou correctly, you're saying
that authority is, um, is givento an extent.
Um, and whereas influence, it's,it's you, it's the way you show
up.
It's, it's what you do with whatyou have, regardless of whether
or not you're in a position ofauthority.
(09:35):
Um, and I love the way that youbroke down power in the sense
of, okay.
Personal power and the actualdemonstration or manifestation
of power.
Um, I think often, you know,depending on our experiences,
right?
And I thought you were going togo a little different with the
authority.
Um, but I'm, I will, we'll digback in there, but I think with
(09:55):
power, you know, when we're soaccustomed to seeing power
modeled in a certain way, right?
Like most people Most people,when I asked them, like, Hey, do
you want to be powerful?
Let me take that back.
Most women I asked, like, do youwant to be powerful?
They're like, well, I mean,yeah, sure.
Like, I don't, I don't knowabout you, but I don't have a
(10:16):
lot of women in my life sayinglike, I want to be powerful.
Now, are they powerful in theway that they have, um, overcome
and been resilient and done allthe things?
Absolutely.
But do they see themselves aspowerful or do they see that
power is the thing that drovethem to do the things that they
that they did often not theyoften more than often I should
(10:38):
say they don't.
And so there's that spacebetween, you know, your personal
power and understanding that andthen also the positions of
power.
Some there's also been, youknow, this this I don't want to
say this disconnect.
Maybe it's more of a connectionbetween power and a position,
right?
So almost like you put it with,uh, authority, authority being a
(10:59):
title, um, power gets lumpedinto, okay, this person is
powerful or they have powerbecause they're sitting in this
particular seat.
So like the CEO, we're bothCEOs, right?
There's just an assumption.
Oh yeah, these people arepowerful, but we go, if we go to
work at, you know, Citibank orwherever else, we're not going
to be the CEO, but That doesn'ttake away from the fact that
(11:20):
we're still powerful.
Dr. Yasmin (11:22):
Yes, I agree.
And the word authority, youknow, I've never been asked to
find the word authority.
I don't like the word.
To me, it's just a title given,you know, a set of, of, of tasks
you've got to do.
Like, I don't see any, anybenefit or any kind of impact.
I'm all about impact.
I don't see impact coming fromauthority.
(11:44):
And that someone chooses to usethat to have influence, right?
So, that, I just see it as avery command control kind of
word.
I have authority over this,therefore I need to do A, B, and
C.
Um, I don't see it as maybe, Idon't, I see it as very neutral.
Sabine (12:03):
Okay.
Okay.
Dr. Yasmin (12:05):
And neutral is boring to me.
Sabine (12:09):
Understood.
And, and no right answers Ihear, or no wrong answers, no
right answers, uh, I shared withyou in the beginning, right?
Like as I've been having theseconversations, it's really to
build more awareness.
Um, within us and how we'redefining it, what the
relationships are, um, what arethe things that we shy away
from?
What are the things that we leaninto?
(12:29):
What are the things, experiencesfrom childhood or from corporate
that we've had, where we've kindof been like, Nope, I don't want
any parts of that.
But I think essentially when youlook at Now we're going to take
it to the leadership, right?
When it, when it comes to beingable to lead first yourself and
then others, and then an entireorganization or a movement or
(12:51):
whatever, you essentially needall three of those in order to
be effective.
Like you need to be able tooperate in and through and not,
you know, abdicate one becauseit quote unquote feels
uncomfortable because thenyou're not in the space that you
need to be in order for you toeffectively lead.
Dr. Yasmin (13:10):
You're absolutely right.
Cause I thought of a situationright now when I thought, you
know, I can see where authority,like, I guess what's in my mind
right now is everything that'sbeen going on in the colleges
and the sit outs and USC is oneof my, you know, my, my alma
mater and I'm on chair there forthe Latino alumni association
for USC.
And there's.
The authorities, the police gotinvolved, and that's authority
(13:34):
to me, right?
And it's how you handle thatauthority, and it's like, which
way did they go?
Did they use it to influence ingood or bad?
But in order to make a decisionin situations, you do need that
authority, right?
You do need that authority, soauthority plays a role.
It's how you choose to use thatauthority that makes, that
defines whether or not you haveinfluence and use your power in
(13:55):
a way that could be for thebetterment of humanity.
Sabine (13:58):
Yeah, totally agree.
So because you, you mentioned,uh, personal power, I, I have my
thoughts on, on how we engagewith our own personal power, but
I'm curious, are there anystrategies that you've employed,
you know, within your own lifeto help build or maintain your
personal power?
Dr. Yasmin (14:16):
Absolutely.
I use them every day.
If I'm going through difficultsituations, situations where I
don't know what to do or whichdirection should I go either
with my business.
Should I go with this that'smaking me more money, but it's
not really fulfilling me andit's like, no, but will I be
happy to me?
At the end of the day, how do Imake business decisions?
I ask myself, will it make mehappy?
(14:38):
And people always think that'sthe weirdest thing, and they
don't even know what to saybecause that's not traditionally
what is considered, you know,real business.
But for me, I have, I feel Ihave a short amount of time in
this world.
What makes me happy is where thespace that I want to live in for
the time that I'm in this world.
(14:58):
And having impact makes mehappy.
So it's like, where can I havethe most impact, feel the most
wealth, and at the same time,um, and, and help as many people
as I can, all those have totake, have, have to take, have
taken consideration when I'mmaking a major business
decision.
So there's times that I, I, Ican't figure it out.
(15:20):
So I say, okay, let me take adeep breath.
And remember, trust yourself.
That you will make the rightdecision and it will come to
you.
You just have to let it be like,I have to stop thinking
sometimes.
And so I remember my power is inmy peace.
And I have to remind myself allthe time, like my power is in
my, your power is in your peace,stop thinking.
(15:42):
Like, and so the way I stopthinking is literally by
watching Netflix.
And watching like reruns ofGrey's Anatomy or something,
because my mind is not working.
It's being entertained so it canlike rest from itself.
But to me, like finding, findingmy, my peace in, um, in the
(16:02):
power of self navigating andtalking to myself and self
nurturing myself in ways that Iknow that I can make the best
decisions is, Knowing that theworld is not going to give it to
me, that people are not going togive it to me, that a strategist
is not going to, and it'sbecause I'm like, maxed out on
all of that already.
Don't, don't get me wrong.
I tried it all.
(16:23):
And it just, I have a verydifficult time for people really
understanding how I make mydecisions.
And, and, um, so my personalpower, really, my strategies are
really in what works for me andbeing true to that and not
letting anyone else sway me inany other way.
Sabine (16:40):
Oh, I love that.
Oh, specifically the your, yourpower is in your piece.
Um, that is That is powerful.
Not to use the word in there, orI should say it's profound.
That is profound.
Um, because oftentimes we're sobusy doing right.
We're so busy thinking it's so,it's so much about what's
(17:01):
happening outside that to yourpoint, if you really want to be
powerful, it's, it's reallybeing able to connect with that
personal power.
And it sounds like you've donethe work to understand this is
where.
This is for me.
I'm curious though, at whatpoint, at what point along your
journey.
Did you discover that?
Was there a catalyst?
(17:21):
Was there something thathappened that was just like,
okay, whatever I'm doing rightnow, it's not working.
I have to find another, anotherway to do that.
Dr. Yasmin (17:30):
Yes.
And it was in a personalrelationship I was in with a
beautiful man who I adored andhe adored me and he was very
good to me.
And I felt so loved, but becausehe hadn't done a lot of the
work.
There was a lot of drama andthere was a lot of like
extremes, like being veryloving, but then being, you
(17:52):
know, super traumatic andjealous and things that were
just disruptive to my peace andI could no longer even make a
good decision because I couldnot be still long enough in my
mind, not trying to figurethings out about how to help him
feel more safe and comfortableand not job.
Like, I was continuously tryingto help him feel safe.
(18:18):
Um, and that's work he had to doon himself, that there was
nothing I could do about it.
But even when I detached fromtrying to make it better for
him, the space, because we livedtogether, the space that we were
in was not peaceful.
And I'm all about the peacefulspace, right?
And I said, although I love thisman, the powers in my piece, I
(18:42):
discovered that.
Um, that I have to step awayfrom the relationship in order
to have peace, even though Iloved him.
And even though there were somany great elements and nothing
is worth that for me.
Sabine (18:56):
I love that.
I love that.
Um, so along the lines with thisnext question, I want to set it
up because I was watching, oneof your Instagram videos, and
you were talking about havingto, um, Do training, a two day
training for negotiations, um,in front of an all male machismo
audience.
(19:16):
And they immediately told youhow they felt about you.
And so obviously you talkthrough, you know, what you had
to do, some of the internal selfregulation that you had to do
within to get to the place whereyou were like, I deserve to be
here.
I'm here.
I'm the expert.
I'm going to walk into that.
And I imagine that that was notthe first time or that won't be
(19:38):
the last time that you, uh, thatyou experienced that, but
somehow, you know, outside ofthe emotional regulation, it
sounds like you also tapped intothe reminder of this is who I
am.
This is what I bring into thetable.
And I just thought that that wasa great way to demonstrate how
you maintain your power when theenvironment outside.
(20:01):
Tries to diminish it or usurp itor deny that it even exists.
So, you know, outside of thatexample, are there any other
examples in which, you know, youfaced resistance or opposition
in some capacity when trying toexercise your personal power or
achieve a particular goal?
Dr. Yasmin (20:20):
You know, it happens all the time.
I mean, honestly, all the timeand it and it comes to
situations where, my valuesystem and another person or or
system empower value system ismisaligned.
They're not aligned.
And I realized that what I feelis important.
(20:42):
They do not necessarily feel isimportant.
So I have to.
Quickly try figure out what dothey find important that I can
connect with and I can reframethe situation so that they see
the value of what I'm trying toget at the end of the day.
I want to have impact, but theydon't understand the way I want
to have impact.
(21:03):
So, how can I make them win andfeel like they're winning?
So, I have to reframe thescenario and I'm trying to think
of a recent situation where Ihad to do that.
And, um, and actually, yeah, itwas, um, in jury duty, actually,
where I had to reframe thesituation for the rest of the
(21:25):
jurors, where they were seeingthe situation one way.
And I was like, Okay, they'renot understanding where I'm
coming from, yet, the verdictwas going to go one way.
And it's like, but I have tohave them.
See the world through that, myperspective.
So I had to tap into somethingthat was personal.
What if this was your brother?
(21:45):
What if this was your uncle?
What if this was somebody youlove?
Would you think the same way?
And it was like, Oh no,everything changes when it's
somebody I love.
Right.
I said, okay, well, this issomebody people love.
Right.
And the person that we weredeciding for.
And so it completely changed theperspective.
What I believe really helps mebe able to do that is letting go
(22:08):
of my ego.
I mean, to really be in yourpower and not try to go power
against power.
People, people's personal poweragainst someone's personal power
is let go of ego.
Release the ego.
Um, because at the end of theday, it's about the impact.
It's not about me.
Yeah, it's me.
Right.
So I really, and I know it'snot, I know it's not easy, but I
(22:31):
think the reason why it may beeasier for me is because I work.
With thousands of women from,you know, homeless women to
billionaires.
And we're all the same.
We all have a story, and thereis trauma in every human person,
and we all just want to beloved, and we all want to be
accepted.
And so to me, it humbles me allthe time to see humanity and who
(22:56):
we really are.
So I think it allows me to.
I'm not thinking about egobecause at the end of the day,
it doesn't matter.
Sabine (23:02):
Yeah, I agree.
and I want to shift gears here alittle to the conversation that
we're having before I press playon here with regards to okay
we've, we've had theconversation around.
Power authority influence howyou know how you've navigated
that for yourself personally,um, in, in the business world,
(23:24):
if you will, or in theprofessional space and in the
personal space.
Um, for those who are listening,I have a mixed audience of
Individuals who are in corporateas well as individuals who are
in entrepreneurship as well, um,or were former corporate and now
they're in entrepreneurship ormaybe never did corporate, um,
God bless them.
Um, and so, you know, one of thethings that we were talking
(23:46):
about is like this dynamic andyou had mentioned a really,
really key point around, youknow, For those of us who do get
in positions of power, likethese, and then we're talking
positions right for those of uswho do get in positions of power
where we're required or asked tolead.
First of all the climb up isexhausting in and of itself.
(24:10):
But then even when we get to thetop, it still feels unsettling.
And then it's hard to even thinkabout, Hey, let me, let me look
behind me and pull that ladderdown or pull the next person up
because you're still trying tocatch your breath.
You're still trying to make surethere's not a cliff around the
corner or there's not somethinghappening.
And so, I'm just curious becauseI know you live in this world,
(24:31):
you, you, um, you work withwomen specifically who are at
the C suite and they're stillfacing this, like, I don't feel
settled yet.
Um, and I think we, we don't, wedon't necessarily always see
that.
We just assume, okay, they'rein, they made it.
So they're good, but the truthis, no, they made it and they're
still processing.
And so I'm just curious if youcan just share some insights
(24:53):
around, you know, what you'veseen for those who have made it
to the top and who are able tothrive while there and support
the next, like, what is it thatthey're doing uniquely different
or what have they discoveredabout themselves that allows
them to show up differently?
Dr. Yasmin (25:11):
You know, I have yet to meet a woman in a C level
position in the top 100corporations.
We're talking like the big ofthe big, right?
Because that makes a bigdifference compared to a smaller
one.
I equate not feeling settled tonot feeling safe, right?
There's an unsettling, there's afear, right?
(25:31):
There's a fear and I have yet tomeet one that feels safe.
That feels safe to own the powerthat comes with that should come
with the position that men havewith those positions that they
make decisions in ways that theyknow one, one bad decision, or
one decision that might not bethe best decision unless it's
(25:52):
like extreme, it's not going toend their career is not going to
end their position, and thewomen tend to feel that one bad
decision could end.
Their career could be like, Oh,we gave the women that shot and
look at, you know, things didn'twork out.
So the ones that I feel are, um,that are probably, they're still
(26:18):
fearful.
They still have some fear, butthey're probably taking more
risk are the ones that have toldthemselves.
I'm going to give it all Icould, and whatever happens, I'm
prepared.
Right, that do have some fear,but don't live in the fear, and
don't live through the fear.
Right, that are willing to takethe consequences of whatever
(26:41):
decision that, you know, becausethey feel that it's the right
one.
For example, there is some womenin C level positions right now,
where DEI is very, it's a bigquestion in the company right
now.
Which way do we go?
What direction?
And they told me, I'm going topush for it.
It's not popular right now.
You know, I have leadershipreally asking me about it, but
I'm going to push for it.
(27:01):
I'm going to be strategic.
I'm going to, but I'm stillgoing to push for it.
I'm going to do whatever andwhatever happens happens because
I can't imagine my career whereI have to take a step back on
it.
It doesn't, it won't even, it'snot purposeful anymore.
Like it, they, they see the waythe world is going and they're
not going to take the hitsitting down.
(27:22):
Right.
To me, that's gutsy.
That's gutsy.
And I admire them for that.
But there is some fear stillinvolved because the power
system is fighting back hardright now, as we were talking
about before the show isfighting back hard, and we have
to make a decision where we'regoing to stand in it.
And I think these, thesecourageous women that are
(27:44):
standing up are, have made adecision that they are
financially okay, they'redefinitely more senior in their
position.
They're definitely probablycloser to retirement.
And, they have arrived.
Um, the ones that are, that aretaking these risks, the ones
that are not there yet, that arevery new, and those, they're,
they're taking a step back.
(28:04):
Yeah, because I can't blame themthough.
Right.
I mean, this is families,careers that people don't see
these individuals as, they havea lot to lose when it comes to,
they're supporting multiplepeople, they're making decisions
and.
For women, there's different setof rules and it's not fair, but
it's the truth.
Sabine (28:23):
Interesting.
Um, so you made me think of, uh,Roz Brewer, who was the, uh, CEO
of Walgreens.
She, and she's obviously steppeddown or is stepping down and
They've said very little on likewhy she's stepping down.
And I feel like we have so manyexamples of.
(28:45):
Women who made it to the top andwho wanted to bring others
along, or at least use theirpositions of power to influence
and to change the overallstructure.
And time after time, it neverfails.
They are, they, they aren'tpolitely shown the door or they
(29:05):
decide, all right, you knowwhat, this, This mountain is a
little bit more steep than I hadanticipated.
And so, you know, obviouslyyou're in the space, you're
working with women who, um, tohelp support them, especially,
uh, diverse women ormulticultural women to help
support them that are trying tonavigate that.
That environment.
Um, I also do that.
(29:26):
I'm, I'm first generation,everything.
I'm an immigrant, all these,like all these things, right.
That we know we understand.
Um, I was saying this to youbefore that, you know, I, I get
it.
I tell people that it's a game.
It's a game that you have to,you have to either make the
decision that yes, I'm going togo all the way and play the game
or you decide that you, you'renot.
(29:46):
And I think, you know, it's Ithink we look at corporate, even
though like it is a game, I getthe same could be said about
entrepreneurship, right?
In the same way.
It's a game.
It requires sacrifice.
It requires all of these things.
The difference is you'resacrificing for yourself
essentially, right?
Where in the corporate space,you're sacrificing for someone
(30:07):
else, but you know, let it beknown.
There are sacrifice on eitherside of the game.
The question just becomes, youknow, how much are you willing
to sacrifice?
Right.
I think for me, I'm, I, I, I'llgive my all for myself.
Right.
And that's why I got corporate.
I was just like, if I'm, if I'mwilling to go this hard for
(30:27):
them, imagine if I did that formyself.
Right.
And I'm still going hard for me,but I think the difference is
when it's a structure or anorganization and you know,
there's, there's all this otherstuff you have to decide, is it
worth going that hard?
Is it worth going that hard?
I actually just, uh, just talkedto someone not too long ago.
(30:49):
She's back in corporate.
She was in entrepreneurship fora very long time.
She decided to go back intocorporate, but she kept, she
maintained her business.
And so she's focusing on womenin leadership.
And I was just like, why wouldyou do that?
She was just like, we need morewomen.
In leadership, like they'releaving.
Right.
And while we may think thatthat's a good thing, if they
leave, then what we need morewomen in that space.
(31:13):
And so she's going from it, fromthe perspective of, I want you
to stay.
And I'm going to teach you howto stay without losing your
soul.
You're still going to sacrifice.
It's still going to be hard.
It's still going to be all thesethings, but I need you here to,
to not sacrifice or to not.
To not let, I guess the systemcompletely crumble or to
actually maybe influence how thesystem is being rebuilt.
(31:37):
We were just talking about thisand I've shared this before six
years from now, 2030, right?
Um, majority of the people whoare sitting in those positions
of power, they're going to beretiring.
They're going to be exiting.
So those are, those seats aregoing to be open.
We need more people who arewilling to say, okay, okay.
You know what?
I got six years to get it, toget it together within myself
(31:58):
first.
And then, you know, to workthrough whatever I need to do to
navigate.
And so as you look at thecorporate landscape, and I know
you're not in corporate rightnow, but I know you do a lot of
work with corporate, where do wehave the most, um, opportunity?
To impact, um, both for thosewho are at or in supporting
(32:21):
those who are at the, you know,top leadership levels as well as
the new generation that's comingin.
Dr. Yasmin (32:28):
Well, I think the new, I mean, I'm a true
believer.
The new generation is going tochange the world.
At least that's my, they'regoing to make it better because
after seeing us, we've had toaccept, you know, the world, the
way it has been.
Been to a certain degree, we'retrying to make changes, but it's
the Internet, the power ofinformation and all of that,
that makes the new generationeasier to to navigate and change
(32:49):
the systems.
I do think we absolutely needwomen in positions of power and
corporate corporations are themost powerful source of power in
our society.
And so we, it's the boardmembers at the board level who
make the decisions about who theCEOs are, about whether they
stay or leave.
We need more women and alliedmen.
(33:10):
I mean, men, they take up thosespaces for the most part.
We need brave men.
We need men who are able to say,you know what, like, it's not
just about winning.
It's about what's best forsociety, what's best for our
shareholders.
I understand that.
But, you know, research shows,and it actually achieved, um,
the organization just came outwith a report, I think two days
(33:31):
ago, but I was just read it,that stakeholder pressure,
external stakeholder pressurefor corporations, which means
that the people, the customers,is becoming more of a concern.
Two CEOs than it ever has been.
Probably about 60 percent oftheir decision making is coming
(33:52):
now from external stakeholdersand 40 percent from internal
stakeholders, which it was neverlike that before, but we also
know the generation nowadayscouncils, you know, the
cancellation of, I mean, easilygoes viral.
So CEOs are afraid of that.
And you know what?
Good.
I'm glad they should be with alldue respect.
I know their position isdifficult.
(34:12):
But I think that we talked aboutearlier about shifting of power.
Right.
It needs to go to a lot more tothe external than the internal
only because the internal hasnot worked.
We have seen how these powerstructures do not allow women to
thrive, We all know having womenin board positions, board of
(34:33):
directors and C level is moreprofitable for companies.
We know it.
We've seen the researchstatistics and it still does not
happen.
And that is because people areafraid to let go of power.
And I'll say men are afraid tolet go of power.
Not all of them, but many ofthem.
It's the fear, right?
So then they're going to beforced to.
Through the external pressure.
So, women need to stay in there.
(34:54):
This is what I help do.
I help develop women to takethem to those positions.
But what I, my work is not onlyhelp to prepare them.
Help, because many women move upand they lose who they are.
Their authenticity.
They become like men.
Right?
Because they feel that's whatthey have to do to survive.
So what we do in our work isreally helping women become true
to themselves, finding their ownvalue system, understanding,
(35:16):
aligning their values to whatworks in the organization, and
learning how to navigate thegame of corporate life without
losing their soul.
Right, we talked about that aswell.
And I love what you said earlierabout what would Bob do?
I want to use that, I'm going totake that.
What would Bob do ladies?
Because that's what they learn,just never use that term.
What the women learn in ourprograms is that they can, they
(35:40):
can play the game, they can now,they don't have to become the
game, right?
They can play the game, theydon't have to become the game,
because it comes down to thegame, so they can step in and
step out.
They can step into it, navigate,and they can step out, but they
have to have a community to goto when they step out.
That support system, right?
The community of other womenthat are like minded and are
(36:01):
doing the same thing.
So that's what we provide, acommunity of like minded women
who are navigating the corporategame, and stepping in and
stepping out, and sharing thestories, and support, because we
need a lot of support from oneanother.
Sabine (36:13):
Yes.
To
Dr. Yasmin (36:14):
be able to, to not burn out, and not think we're
going crazy at times.
Sabine (36:18):
Yes, I totally agree.
I totally agree.
I love that play the game butnot have to be the game.
Um, something I just want todouble back and then I want to
transition because you have abook that really like the four
pillars I want to get into thatand then move into our blitz
session.
So something that you mentionedwith regards to, um, you know,
(36:38):
the, the.
The power, if you will, or theexercising of power is really
happening at the board level.
And so if I, you know, if I'vebeen paying attention, I
understand that these CEOsretire and then they become
board members, right?
And so now as we're thinkingabout it from the perspective of
(36:59):
yes, In the organizations, theseseats are going to be emptied
and there's going to be room forwomen to step in there.
Well, guess what?
They're like that.
There's still that other levelof power over them.
So I'm, I'm seeing a lot moreprobably in the last, I don't
know, maybe five years, moreorganizations tailored around
(37:20):
supporting women to, uh, buildthe skill sets that they need to
step into that board role.
I think.
Uh, now that I'm thinking aboutit, I think there's, there's
probably more of a, uh, animportance, if you will, that
should be put on women movinginto board seats, um, than
necessarily being in the Csuite.
(37:42):
Um, cause we, we know, right,the C suite, yes, they have
authority, they have power inthe day to day, but if the board
says no, then it's no.
If the board says we're going inthis direction, that's what
they're doing.
If the board says no, Thank youfor your service.
Then they're out.
And so I think it's a balance,you know, we can't just limit it
to organizations.
It's organizations and boards.
And I think this applies for theentrepreneurs to entrepreneurs
(38:05):
too.
There's nothing stopping youfrom gaining the skills that you
need, especially if you'rerunning a business or if you've
run a successful business, gainthe skills.
How can I sit on boards?
How can I learn that language?
How can I step into thatposition of power, authority,
and influence?
To help, you know, anorganization that I care about
or an organization that is, youknow, near and dear to my heart
(38:27):
or relevant to the field thatI'm in.
Dr. Yasmin (38:30):
Absolutely.
I think that's where the truepower is, you know, the boards
hire and fire CEOs.
And so at the end of the day,it's been the board, the board
positions.
And the people on the boardsthat are making the decisions,
unfortunately, there's very fewpeople of color and very few
women.
I mean, it just, the numbers,you know, go up, go down.
(38:50):
We gain a few, we go backwards,five steps, you know?
And so, but at the end of theday, those board positions are
where the true power is held onthe next CEO.
And if the board does notapprove it, then it's not going
to happen.
So we can have so many people insuccession planning since we
want.
But at the end of the day, we doneed people in positions that
(39:12):
can think differently than we'vethought about what power looks
like in the last hundred yearsor what power looks like and how
it's supposed to act.
We're so focused on themasculine energy and masculine
energy is great, but we do needhumanity.
And that means the morecompassionate, the more humane,
empathetic.
(39:32):
leader as well, becausesometimes natural energy is just
about winning, you know, and thetruth is winning at what cost.
So I think that that is where itneeds to be balanced, winning at
what cost.
And I think that's not when youtake it into consideration many
times.
Sabine (39:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's important that we,we start to expand.
What our definition is on wherewe can lead and how we can lead.
I believe leadership is innateso you can lead wherever you
are, but if we're really trulygoing to step in and equalize
this distribution of power.
(40:11):
Then we need to be at in theplaces and that can, the same
could be said for government,for, you know, education and all
those other pieces, but it'sjust like, if we're not happy
with what we're seeing.
Let's not just go for the, likethat next rung in the ladder,
let's figure out, okay, how do Iget to whatever that level is
and start to build and y'allgonna get tired of hearing me
(40:31):
saying, start to build therelationships and the networks
that would allow you and supportyou to, to have those open
spaces.
I want to be respectful of yourtime.
So I do want to talk about yourbook.
as I was listening to you talkabout it, um, it was very
aligned with obviously theemotional intelligence pillars,
but you've put your own spin onit to help support.
So please tell us a little bitmore about the book, um, and
(40:54):
where, uh, the audience can findit.
Dr. Yasmin (40:57):
Absolutely.
So the book is titled GraciouslyAssertive How Becoming a Better
Human Makes You a Better Leader.
I'm super excited about it.
Um, it really is about, it'sreally the trajectory of my 20
some years of work and what Ihave discovered and helping
leaders become the best versionsof themselves.
Well, first of all, when I wasempowering and developing women,
(41:18):
they became so empowered thatthey went back and told the
process exactly how they felt.
And it was like, no, no, no, no,no, no, ladies with power comes
responsibility and not powerfeeling empowered is what is the
outcome you want to reach?
And how do I reverse engineer tomake sure that I'm communicating
in a way that I am making theother person not making them
(41:38):
wrong, but making them feelunderstood and being empathetic
to their decisions as well,whether it's your boss or
whoever it may be.
Well, I'm self advocating.
So it truly is about how to selfadvocate while holding space for
the other side.
How to be gracious and bold atthe same time and that and
that's why it's called graceassertive gracious be assertive
(41:59):
because that has been thecommunication model that I've
used and taught the women thatI've met and taught for over 20
years, thousands of women that Ihave seen have become the most
effective over over the careerand have also helped them become
better human beings because thetype of work that we do, the
type of work that I do withwomen, Is that I believe in
starts with meeting yourself andthat means self awareness, which
(42:23):
is the first pillar, you know,social awareness.
How do you impact other people,your energy?
That's the second pillar.
Third pillar is empathy.
Self regulation, which is thevideo you talked about the
negotiation.
How do I manage my own emotionto act for me to get the impact
that I want to have the outcome,then self compassion, which is
another pillar.
And then it goes into graciouscommunication.
(42:46):
How do, how do I communicate ina way so that the other person
feels I care about them.
There's these different pillars.
That as you're practicing themto become a better leader, you
automatically become a betterhuman being because you're
becoming more self aware ofyourself, how you're impacting
people.
And how do you manage that?
Then now you know how to manageyourself to be a better mother.
(43:07):
You manage yourself to be abetter wife.
On self compassion, learn how tolove yourself more.
You're teaching your childrenhow to love themselves more.
You're employing how to takecare of themselves more.
So.
You automatically, I've learnedwhere all these women who have
become these phenomenal,graciously assertive leaders.
They're, they're an incrediblehuman beings and I'm sitting
(43:30):
there watching and watching andsaying it wasn't even created
because I wanted to createbetter human beings.
I mean, I've always wanted tohelp humanity, but as a result
of trying to be a better leader.
You become a better human beingas a result of becoming a better
human being, you become a betterleader.
It really goes hand in hand.
And my philosophy is, you don'tlove people.
(43:51):
You shouldn't be leading people,period.
Get out of management right now.
Get out of leadership becausethese people depend on you.
These people are influenced byyou.
And there's so much toxicworkplace culture that, that,
you know, scars women.
There's, it takes about sevenyears to heal from a toxic boss.
(44:12):
Seven years.
I've done the studies.
Okay.
So You need to remove yourselffrom those scenarios, or you
better get yourself into a wayto start loving people because
you have so much influence onpeople.
So, I love to see that thesewomen are becoming better
leaders, but better humanbeings, because to me, The
greatest gift I can give tohumanity is knowing that I help
(44:34):
people become the best versionof themselves better human
beings to contribute more to theworld.
And God knows we need it.
Sabine (44:41):
Yes, agreed, um, so we're gonna move into the, the
blitz session here and so I havethree questions for you.
We're going to try to answerthese in two minutes.
So it's a rapid fire.
First and foremost.
Knowing what you know now, ifyou could go back to a younger
version of yourself and give hera key piece of advice, what
might that be?
Dr. Yasmin (45:03):
I would say, I know you don't understand what I'm
going to say, but every pain,every failure, everything
horrible that you may go to gothrough, find the gift in it,
find the gift in whatever you gothrough, because there is a gift
you just happen to spread.
Sabine (45:20):
Love that.
Next, um, as you look ahead, Andthink of all the impact that
you're making now, all theimpact that you're going to make
years from now, when you'relooking back at your life, what
do you want the narrative to be?
Dr. Yasmin (45:34):
I want the narrative to be, Yasmeen helped women,
people, but women is my focus,become the best version of
themselves, become the besthuman beings that they can
possibly be.
And overall helped humanity.
Sabine (45:53):
Love that.
And then I'm a big believer thatleaders are readers.
And so I'm curious, is there abook outside of your amazing
books, of course, um, that hasbeen pivotal for you in your own
development, either personal orprofessional?
Dr. Yasmin (46:10):
You know, I would say All of Wayne Dyer's books.
Wayne Dyer is a spiritualphilosopher.
He passed now that all his booksare spiritual books.
I'm a very spiritual person, notreligious, just spiritual.
So any book by Wayne Dyer, theauthor, I would say has been
very moving for me and it helpsme stay in my peace.
Sabine (46:30):
Yes, yes, I just discovered Dr.
Wayne Dyer, and I don't know, Ihave like six of his books in my
Audible queue.
Um, so yes, I completelyunderstand that it really
shifts.
He really helps shiftperspective and it is it puts
that focus back on humanity andaway from from self and
(46:52):
individuality.
So I love that.
Um, so with that, as far as forthose who are listening, if they
want to get in touch with you,they want to learn more about
your programs.
Where do you hang out?
Where can people get in touchwith you?
Dr. Yasmin (47:05):
They can get in touch with me through social
media.
I hang down on LinkedIn muchmore than Instagram.
I would say they can go to ourwebsite and email me there
through there.
Sabine (47:14):
Okay.
Awesome.
We will include all of thoselinks, including a couple of,
uh, Wayne books that are Dr.
Wayne Dyer's books that I have,um, in the show notes.
Dr.
Yasmeen, thank you so much forcoming on, sharing your wisdom,
um, sharing the insight and alsoGiving us a glimpse of, you
know, how we move forward andwhat we can do that's within our
own, uh, sphere of control orsphere of power and authority
(47:38):
here.
Um, so that we can not only justmake it better for us and the
generations that are here, butthe generations to come.
So with that, thank you forbeing on here.
For those of you who have tunedin this week, thank you for
tuning in.
We will be back next week withanother female powerhouse.
Have a great rest of the week.
Take care.
Dr. Yasmin (47:56):
Thank you.
Sabine (47:57):
Thank you.
Hope you enjoyed this week'sepisode.
If you found today'sconversation helpful or got a
piece of insight that you planto implement in your life, I'd
love to hear from you.
Connect with me on LinkedIn atSabine Gideon and send me a
message, or feel free to leave areview on either Apple or
Spotify.
I also invite you to share thisepisode with anyone in your
(48:20):
network, another powerhouse,possibly.
Who you think might benefit fromtoday's conversation.
Lastly, as always, any links,any resources, or any upcoming
training is included in the shownotes.
So be sure to check that beforeyou leave today.
Until we chat again, have ablessed and powerful week.
Are you tired of playing smalland ready to step confidently
into your greatness and shareyour unique brilliance with the
world?
Well, you're in the right place.
I'm your host, Sabine Gideon,and I've dedicated nearly two
decades empowering individualsand leaders as they confidently
navigate the twists and turns oflife and career transitions.
If you're seeking direction,connection, or just a little
(00:22):
push to play bigger, considerthis podcast, your VIP path to a
community that genuinelyunderstands your journey.
Join me every week for candidconversations and practical
guidance designed to help younavigate the challenges of life
and business, foster a growthmindset and cultivate meaningful
connections.
It's time to embrace yourinherent power, define your
(00:44):
unique purpose and prosper inevery aspect of your life.
Let's get started.
Sabine (00:54):
Hello and welcome to another episode I'm your host
Sabine Gideon, and I'm excitedto be back with another female
powerhouse.
So if you're completely new tome, of course, I'm the host of
the show.
I am also the CEO of Gideonenterprises, a professional
development firm that works withorganizations and leaders who
are looking to uplevel.
And support their personal andprofessional development goals.
(01:16):
So with me, I have an amazingguest and you guys missed the
earlier part of the juicyconversation, but I'm sure
you'll get plenty of that.
So today with me is Dr.
Yasmine Davids.
She is an entrepreneur,organizational psychologist, and
CEO of the Dr.
Yasmine Davids LeadershipInstitute and Multicultural
(01:36):
Women Executive LeadershipFoundation.
These are organizationsdedicated to teaching.
Instruction and development ofleadership competencies,
primarily focused on women inprofessional corporate and
entrepreneurial settings.
She has been recognized andhighlighted as one of the top
leading Latinas by Hispanicmagazine, and as one of the most
(01:56):
influential Latinas in the bookof Latina women, how awesome.
Welcome to the show.
Dr.
Yasmeen.
I am so excited to have youhere.
Dr. Yasmin (02:06):
so much for having me.
I'm super excited about being onyour show.
I've heard great things.
I've read great things about it.
I've heard some of the episodesand they're The conversations
are amazing.
Sabine (02:15):
Oh, Thank you so much.
Well, I have been, um, I've beenfollowing you since you've come
into my orbit, uh, the lastcouple of months and every,
every post hits hard.
And so I am excited to have thisconversation and, you know, of
course, as always the audienceis in for a treat, but before we
get into the nitty gritty, Iwould love for you to share, you
(02:38):
know, the cliff notes version ofyour career journey, all the
work that you've done that.
Has led up to the work thatyou're doing today.
Dr. Yasmin (02:45):
I would say that my career journey really started at
the age of five years old.
And people say, what do youmean?
I said, well, that is when Ifound my life purpose.
And that is because I grew up ina very dysfunctional family
where my father was very abusivetowards my mother and my mother,
my sisters.
And I, and I asked my mom at theage of five, mommy, you know, my
mother, immigrant didn't speakEnglish, came from Mexico.
(03:06):
My father from Ecuador to the US.
I said, Mommy, like, we have toleave, like, I knew, like, this
is not good, like, that it hurtsus.
And, and, and she says, Mija, Idon't speak the English
language.
I don't have any skills.
If we leave, we'll be homeless.
This is just the way things are.
And I say, Oh, no, Mommy, when Igrow up, I'm going to change the
(03:27):
world to make it better forwomen.
I didn't know how I was going todo it.
I didn't know it, but I nowbelieve it was my only way to
find hope.
In my life.
If not, if I didn't find hope,there would be no purpose to
live at age five.
That's how bad it was for us.
So I made a decision at that ageand I don't know where I got my
little guts.
that I can change the world.
(03:47):
But everything I did movingforward was even like protecting
little girls on the playground,making sure bullies, you know,
were disciplined, making sure itwas, it was fighting an
injustice, um, and growing upfocusing on helping women become
the best versions of themselves.
And at the age of eight, I askedmy mom, mommy, it's gotten real
(04:09):
bad.
We got to go.
And she says, you know, yourgrandma told me as long as I was
a good, uh, wife, I'd be takencare of.
She never told me the price Ihave to pay to, and she said,
whatever you do, don't be likeme, get your education because
she had a third grade education.
And I didn't, at that moment, Imade a choice that I was going
to be the most educated Latina.
No surprise.
I have my PhD, right?
(04:29):
So I do believe these choices wemake in childhood do determine
who we become as adults.
So my focus now in my career andthe businesses that I build, my
companies that I build, thebooks that I write, everything
is focused on helping womenunderstand that the choices they
made in childhood could behelping them and also could be
hurting them if they werechoices made on a survival
(04:50):
basis.
And really freeing them fromtrauma that has caused them to
play low, play little, and nowopen them up to become the best
version of themselves, helpingthem heal, to be able to go to
the next level and become thebest version of themselves as
leaders, as business, whateverit may be, to play big, to think
(05:11):
big, to be big in their life.
Sabine (05:15):
I love that.
There are so many nuggets I wantto take away first and foremost,
you know, thank you so much for,for sharing and for being
vulnerable.
And, you know, I love the factthat, you know, you have.
You have such a vivid memory of,you know, those key pivotal
moments that made you decide,this is who I'm going to be.
This is what I'm going to standfor.
(05:35):
This is what I'm going torepresent.
And so I think that that is agreat segue into the
conversation here because we'rehaving this conversation around.
Um, power and our relationshipto power amongst other things
that we'll talk about.
But first and foremost, youknow, you speak a lot on the
experiences of, uh, women ofcolor, first generation in
(05:59):
corporate environments andbusiness and everything else.
And you're able to provide thisreal life, uh, expertise because
you've lived it.
on the challenges, the unspokenthings, right?
We know that in corporate, thereare unwritten rules, but there
are unspoken challenges, um, oryou don't things that you don't
see that people areexperiencing.
(06:19):
Um, we just see the highlightreels, right?
We just see the accolades and weassume, oh, okay.
Yeah.
They, they had it all together,but don't know.
The generations of messaging, ifyou will, or paradigms that they
had to work through to be ableto to change that are still
working through.
And so, given your experiences,I'm so interested in hearing
(06:41):
what your responses are to thisparticular question.
So, You know, when you thinkabout just where you are today
and all the experiences thatyou've lived out, how do you
personally perceive thedifferences between power,
authority, and influence, and Ishould probably say how do you
define the three, and then howdo you personally perceive the
differences between the three.
Dr. Yasmin (07:04):
So I'll start with power and there, I see two
different types of personalpower, you know, personal power.
I see it as power over feelingyou have power over your life
agency over your life, everydecision you make self managing
your emotions self managingunderstanding that there's going
to be grief and loss and youwill hurt, but yet you want
(07:28):
peace of fully understanding thepower you have.
In your self awareness, socialawareness in your self
regulation.
That's that's what I callpersonal power and understanding
that you can manage and controlalmost every aspect of your
life.
Of course, the world in theuniverse will do what it's going
to do, but not feeling everfeeling that you are powerless,
(07:51):
even in making a decision.
So that's personal power.
Now power, utilizing power tomake things happen is being able
to use your resources, whetherit's relationships, whether it's
money, whether it's status,whether whatever it is to make
things happen, whatever that maybe.
(08:11):
Right.
That's how I define utilizingpower.
Right.
And so I choose to utilize mypower and resources to make
things happen.
In order to further.
The betterment of women for themost part, because that is my
purpose.
I mean, humanity in general, butwomen is where my heart
(08:32):
authority, I would say is atitle.
A title, you usually only haveauthority when you have a title.
Once that title is gone, thatauthority is gone, because then
it shifts to influence, right?
Influence is when you are ableto make things happen on
whatever resources you may use.
(08:52):
It may be authority, it may berelationships, but you're able
to make an impact, or you'reable to make a difference, or
you're able to, once again, makethings happen.
With whatever resources you mayuse, it may be for good
purposes, bad purposes, but Iwould say authority is only
position driven and influencethen is beyond a position
(09:14):
driven.
Sabine (09:15):
Okay.
Okay.
So it sounds like if I'm hearingyou correctly, you're saying
that authority is, um, is givento an extent.
Um, and whereas influence, it's,it's you, it's the way you show
up.
It's, it's what you do with whatyou have, regardless of whether
or not you're in a position ofauthority.
(09:35):
Um, and I love the way that youbroke down power in the sense
of, okay.
Personal power and the actualdemonstration or manifestation
of power.
Um, I think often, you know,depending on our experiences,
right?
And I thought you were going togo a little different with the
authority.
Um, but I'm, I will, we'll digback in there, but I think with
(09:55):
power, you know, when we're soaccustomed to seeing power
modeled in a certain way, right?
Like most people Most people,when I asked them, like, Hey, do
you want to be powerful?
Let me take that back.
Most women I asked, like, do youwant to be powerful?
They're like, well, I mean,yeah, sure.
Like, I don't, I don't knowabout you, but I don't have a
(10:16):
lot of women in my life sayinglike, I want to be powerful.
Now, are they powerful in theway that they have, um, overcome
and been resilient and done allthe things?
Absolutely.
But do they see themselves aspowerful or do they see that
power is the thing that drovethem to do the things that they
that they did often not theyoften more than often I should
(10:38):
say they don't.
And so there's that spacebetween, you know, your personal
power and understanding that andthen also the positions of
power.
Some there's also been, youknow, this this I don't want to
say this disconnect.
Maybe it's more of a connectionbetween power and a position,
right?
So almost like you put it with,uh, authority, authority being a
(10:59):
title, um, power gets lumpedinto, okay, this person is
powerful or they have powerbecause they're sitting in this
particular seat.
So like the CEO, we're bothCEOs, right?
There's just an assumption.
Oh yeah, these people arepowerful, but we go, if we go to
work at, you know, Citibank orwherever else, we're not going
to be the CEO, but That doesn'ttake away from the fact that
(11:20):
we're still powerful.
Dr. Yasmin (11:22):
Yes, I agree.
And the word authority, youknow, I've never been asked to
find the word authority.
I don't like the word.
To me, it's just a title given,you know, a set of, of, of tasks
you've got to do.
Like, I don't see any, anybenefit or any kind of impact.
I'm all about impact.
I don't see impact coming fromauthority.
(11:44):
And that someone chooses to usethat to have influence, right?
So, that, I just see it as avery command control kind of
word.
I have authority over this,therefore I need to do A, B, and
C.
Um, I don't see it as maybe, Idon't, I see it as very neutral.
Sabine (12:03):
Okay.
Okay.
Dr. Yasmin (12:05):
And neutral is boring to me.
Sabine (12:09):
Understood.
And, and no right answers Ihear, or no wrong answers, no
right answers, uh, I shared withyou in the beginning, right?
Like as I've been having theseconversations, it's really to
build more awareness.
Um, within us and how we'redefining it, what the
relationships are, um, what arethe things that we shy away
from?
What are the things that we leaninto?
(12:29):
What are the things, experiencesfrom childhood or from corporate
that we've had, where we've kindof been like, Nope, I don't want
any parts of that.
But I think essentially when youlook at Now we're going to take
it to the leadership, right?
When it, when it comes to beingable to lead first yourself and
then others, and then an entireorganization or a movement or
(12:51):
whatever, you essentially needall three of those in order to
be effective.
Like you need to be able tooperate in and through and not,
you know, abdicate one becauseit quote unquote feels
uncomfortable because thenyou're not in the space that you
need to be in order for you toeffectively lead.
Dr. Yasmin (13:10):
You're absolutely right.
Cause I thought of a situationright now when I thought, you
know, I can see where authority,like, I guess what's in my mind
right now is everything that'sbeen going on in the colleges
and the sit outs and USC is oneof my, you know, my, my alma
mater and I'm on chair there forthe Latino alumni association
for USC.
And there's.
The authorities, the police gotinvolved, and that's authority
(13:34):
to me, right?
And it's how you handle thatauthority, and it's like, which
way did they go?
Did they use it to influence ingood or bad?
But in order to make a decisionin situations, you do need that
authority, right?
You do need that authority, soauthority plays a role.
It's how you choose to use thatauthority that makes, that
defines whether or not you haveinfluence and use your power in
(13:55):
a way that could be for thebetterment of humanity.
Sabine (13:58):
Yeah, totally agree.
So because you, you mentioned,uh, personal power, I, I have my
thoughts on, on how we engagewith our own personal power, but
I'm curious, are there anystrategies that you've employed,
you know, within your own lifeto help build or maintain your
personal power?
Dr. Yasmin (14:16):
Absolutely.
I use them every day.
If I'm going through difficultsituations, situations where I
don't know what to do or whichdirection should I go either
with my business.
Should I go with this that'smaking me more money, but it's
not really fulfilling me andit's like, no, but will I be
happy to me?
At the end of the day, how do Imake business decisions?
I ask myself, will it make mehappy?
(14:38):
And people always think that'sthe weirdest thing, and they
don't even know what to saybecause that's not traditionally
what is considered, you know,real business.
But for me, I have, I feel Ihave a short amount of time in
this world.
What makes me happy is where thespace that I want to live in for
the time that I'm in this world.
(14:58):
And having impact makes mehappy.
So it's like, where can I havethe most impact, feel the most
wealth, and at the same time,um, and, and help as many people
as I can, all those have totake, have, have to take, have
taken consideration when I'mmaking a major business
decision.
So there's times that I, I, Ican't figure it out.
(15:20):
So I say, okay, let me take adeep breath.
And remember, trust yourself.
That you will make the rightdecision and it will come to
you.
You just have to let it be like,I have to stop thinking
sometimes.
And so I remember my power is inmy peace.
And I have to remind myself allthe time, like my power is in
my, your power is in your peace,stop thinking.
(15:42):
Like, and so the way I stopthinking is literally by
watching Netflix.
And watching like reruns ofGrey's Anatomy or something,
because my mind is not working.
It's being entertained so it canlike rest from itself.
But to me, like finding, findingmy, my peace in, um, in the
(16:02):
power of self navigating andtalking to myself and self
nurturing myself in ways that Iknow that I can make the best
decisions is, Knowing that theworld is not going to give it to
me, that people are not going togive it to me, that a strategist
is not going to, and it'sbecause I'm like, maxed out on
all of that already.
Don't, don't get me wrong.
I tried it all.
(16:23):
And it just, I have a verydifficult time for people really
understanding how I make mydecisions.
And, and, um, so my personalpower, really, my strategies are
really in what works for me andbeing true to that and not
letting anyone else sway me inany other way.
Sabine (16:40):
Oh, I love that.
Oh, specifically the your, yourpower is in your piece.
Um, that is That is powerful.
Not to use the word in there, orI should say it's profound.
That is profound.
Um, because oftentimes we're sobusy doing right.
We're so busy thinking it's so,it's so much about what's
(17:01):
happening outside that to yourpoint, if you really want to be
powerful, it's, it's reallybeing able to connect with that
personal power.
And it sounds like you've donethe work to understand this is
where.
This is for me.
I'm curious though, at whatpoint, at what point along your
journey.
Did you discover that?
Was there a catalyst?
(17:21):
Was there something thathappened that was just like,
okay, whatever I'm doing rightnow, it's not working.
I have to find another, anotherway to do that.
Dr. Yasmin (17:30):
Yes.
And it was in a personalrelationship I was in with a
beautiful man who I adored andhe adored me and he was very
good to me.
And I felt so loved, but becausehe hadn't done a lot of the
work.
There was a lot of drama andthere was a lot of like
extremes, like being veryloving, but then being, you
(17:52):
know, super traumatic andjealous and things that were
just disruptive to my peace andI could no longer even make a
good decision because I couldnot be still long enough in my
mind, not trying to figurethings out about how to help him
feel more safe and comfortableand not job.
Like, I was continuously tryingto help him feel safe.
(18:18):
Um, and that's work he had to doon himself, that there was
nothing I could do about it.
But even when I detached fromtrying to make it better for
him, the space, because we livedtogether, the space that we were
in was not peaceful.
And I'm all about the peacefulspace, right?
And I said, although I love thisman, the powers in my piece, I
(18:42):
discovered that.
Um, that I have to step awayfrom the relationship in order
to have peace, even though Iloved him.
And even though there were somany great elements and nothing
is worth that for me.
Sabine (18:56):
I love that.
I love that.
Um, so along the lines with thisnext question, I want to set it
up because I was watching, oneof your Instagram videos, and
you were talking about havingto, um, Do training, a two day
training for negotiations, um,in front of an all male machismo
audience.
(19:16):
And they immediately told youhow they felt about you.
And so obviously you talkthrough, you know, what you had
to do, some of the internal selfregulation that you had to do
within to get to the place whereyou were like, I deserve to be
here.
I'm here.
I'm the expert.
I'm going to walk into that.
And I imagine that that was notthe first time or that won't be
(19:38):
the last time that you, uh, thatyou experienced that, but
somehow, you know, outside ofthe emotional regulation, it
sounds like you also tapped intothe reminder of this is who I
am.
This is what I bring into thetable.
And I just thought that that wasa great way to demonstrate how
you maintain your power when theenvironment outside.
(20:01):
Tries to diminish it or usurp itor deny that it even exists.
So, you know, outside of thatexample, are there any other
examples in which, you know, youfaced resistance or opposition
in some capacity when trying toexercise your personal power or
achieve a particular goal?
Dr. Yasmin (20:20):
You know, it happens all the time.
I mean, honestly, all the timeand it and it comes to
situations where, my valuesystem and another person or or
system empower value system ismisaligned.
They're not aligned.
And I realized that what I feelis important.
(20:42):
They do not necessarily feel isimportant.
So I have to.
Quickly try figure out what dothey find important that I can
connect with and I can reframethe situation so that they see
the value of what I'm trying toget at the end of the day.
I want to have impact, but theydon't understand the way I want
to have impact.
(21:03):
So, how can I make them win andfeel like they're winning?
So, I have to reframe thescenario and I'm trying to think
of a recent situation where Ihad to do that.
And, um, and actually, yeah, itwas, um, in jury duty, actually,
where I had to reframe thesituation for the rest of the
(21:25):
jurors, where they were seeingthe situation one way.
And I was like, Okay, they'renot understanding where I'm
coming from, yet, the verdictwas going to go one way.
And it's like, but I have tohave them.
See the world through that, myperspective.
So I had to tap into somethingthat was personal.
What if this was your brother?
(21:45):
What if this was your uncle?
What if this was somebody youlove?
Would you think the same way?
And it was like, Oh no,everything changes when it's
somebody I love.
Right.
I said, okay, well, this issomebody people love.
Right.
And the person that we weredeciding for.
And so it completely changed theperspective.
What I believe really helps mebe able to do that is letting go
(22:08):
of my ego.
I mean, to really be in yourpower and not try to go power
against power.
People, people's personal poweragainst someone's personal power
is let go of ego.
Release the ego.
Um, because at the end of theday, it's about the impact.
It's not about me.
Yeah, it's me.
Right.
So I really, and I know it'snot, I know it's not easy, but I
(22:31):
think the reason why it may beeasier for me is because I work.
With thousands of women from,you know, homeless women to
billionaires.
And we're all the same.
We all have a story, and thereis trauma in every human person,
and we all just want to beloved, and we all want to be
accepted.
And so to me, it humbles me allthe time to see humanity and who
(22:56):
we really are.
So I think it allows me to.
I'm not thinking about egobecause at the end of the day,
it doesn't matter.
Sabine (23:02):
Yeah, I agree.
and I want to shift gears here alittle to the conversation that
we're having before I press playon here with regards to okay
we've, we've had theconversation around.
Power authority influence howyou know how you've navigated
that for yourself personally,um, in, in the business world,
(23:24):
if you will, or in theprofessional space and in the
personal space.
Um, for those who are listening,I have a mixed audience of
Individuals who are in corporateas well as individuals who are
in entrepreneurship as well, um,or were former corporate and now
they're in entrepreneurship ormaybe never did corporate, um,
God bless them.
Um, and so, you know, one of thethings that we were talking
(23:46):
about is like this dynamic andyou had mentioned a really,
really key point around, youknow, For those of us who do get
in positions of power, likethese, and then we're talking
positions right for those of uswho do get in positions of power
where we're required or asked tolead.
First of all the climb up isexhausting in and of itself.
(24:10):
But then even when we get to thetop, it still feels unsettling.
And then it's hard to even thinkabout, Hey, let me, let me look
behind me and pull that ladderdown or pull the next person up
because you're still trying tocatch your breath.
You're still trying to make surethere's not a cliff around the
corner or there's not somethinghappening.
And so, I'm just curious becauseI know you live in this world,
(24:31):
you, you, um, you work withwomen specifically who are at
the C suite and they're stillfacing this, like, I don't feel
settled yet.
Um, and I think we, we don't, wedon't necessarily always see
that.
We just assume, okay, they'rein, they made it.
So they're good, but the truthis, no, they made it and they're
still processing.
And so I'm just curious if youcan just share some insights
(24:53):
around, you know, what you'veseen for those who have made it
to the top and who are able tothrive while there and support
the next, like, what is it thatthey're doing uniquely different
or what have they discoveredabout themselves that allows
them to show up differently?
Dr. Yasmin (25:11):
You know, I have yet to meet a woman in a C level
position in the top 100corporations.
We're talking like the big ofthe big, right?
Because that makes a bigdifference compared to a smaller
one.
I equate not feeling settled tonot feeling safe, right?
There's an unsettling, there's afear, right?
(25:31):
There's a fear and I have yet tomeet one that feels safe.
That feels safe to own the powerthat comes with that should come
with the position that men havewith those positions that they
make decisions in ways that theyknow one, one bad decision, or
one decision that might not bethe best decision unless it's
(25:52):
like extreme, it's not going toend their career is not going to
end their position, and thewomen tend to feel that one bad
decision could end.
Their career could be like, Oh,we gave the women that shot and
look at, you know, things didn'twork out.
So the ones that I feel are, um,that are probably, they're still
(26:18):
fearful.
They still have some fear, butthey're probably taking more
risk are the ones that have toldthemselves.
I'm going to give it all Icould, and whatever happens, I'm
prepared.
Right, that do have some fear,but don't live in the fear, and
don't live through the fear.
Right, that are willing to takethe consequences of whatever
(26:41):
decision that, you know, becausethey feel that it's the right
one.
For example, there is some womenin C level positions right now,
where DEI is very, it's a bigquestion in the company right
now.
Which way do we go?
What direction?
And they told me, I'm going topush for it.
It's not popular right now.
You know, I have leadershipreally asking me about it, but
I'm going to push for it.
(27:01):
I'm going to be strategic.
I'm going to, but I'm stillgoing to push for it.
I'm going to do whatever andwhatever happens happens because
I can't imagine my career whereI have to take a step back on
it.
It doesn't, it won't even, it'snot purposeful anymore.
Like it, they, they see the waythe world is going and they're
not going to take the hitsitting down.
(27:22):
Right.
To me, that's gutsy.
That's gutsy.
And I admire them for that.
But there is some fear stillinvolved because the power
system is fighting back hardright now, as we were talking
about before the show isfighting back hard, and we have
to make a decision where we'regoing to stand in it.
And I think these, thesecourageous women that are
(27:44):
standing up are, have made adecision that they are
financially okay, they'redefinitely more senior in their
position.
They're definitely probablycloser to retirement.
And, they have arrived.
Um, the ones that are, that aretaking these risks, the ones
that are not there yet, that arevery new, and those, they're,
they're taking a step back.
(28:04):
Yeah, because I can't blame themthough.
Right.
I mean, this is families,careers that people don't see
these individuals as, they havea lot to lose when it comes to,
they're supporting multiplepeople, they're making decisions
and.
For women, there's different setof rules and it's not fair, but
it's the truth.
Sabine (28:23):
Interesting.
Um, so you made me think of, uh,Roz Brewer, who was the, uh, CEO
of Walgreens.
She, and she's obviously steppeddown or is stepping down and
They've said very little on likewhy she's stepping down.
And I feel like we have so manyexamples of.
(28:45):
Women who made it to the top andwho wanted to bring others
along, or at least use theirpositions of power to influence
and to change the overallstructure.
And time after time, it neverfails.
They are, they, they aren'tpolitely shown the door or they
(29:05):
decide, all right, you knowwhat, this, This mountain is a
little bit more steep than I hadanticipated.
And so, you know, obviouslyyou're in the space, you're
working with women who, um, tohelp support them, especially,
uh, diverse women ormulticultural women to help
support them that are trying tonavigate that.
That environment.
Um, I also do that.
(29:26):
I'm, I'm first generation,everything.
I'm an immigrant, all these,like all these things, right.
That we know we understand.
Um, I was saying this to youbefore that, you know, I, I get
it.
I tell people that it's a game.
It's a game that you have to,you have to either make the
decision that yes, I'm going togo all the way and play the game
or you decide that you, you'renot.
(29:46):
And I think, you know, it's Ithink we look at corporate, even
though like it is a game, I getthe same could be said about
entrepreneurship, right?
In the same way.
It's a game.
It requires sacrifice.
It requires all of these things.
The difference is you'resacrificing for yourself
essentially, right?
Where in the corporate space,you're sacrificing for someone
(30:07):
else, but you know, let it beknown.
There are sacrifice on eitherside of the game.
The question just becomes, youknow, how much are you willing
to sacrifice?
Right.
I think for me, I'm, I, I, I'llgive my all for myself.
Right.
And that's why I got corporate.
I was just like, if I'm, if I'mwilling to go this hard for
(30:27):
them, imagine if I did that formyself.
Right.
And I'm still going hard for me,but I think the difference is
when it's a structure or anorganization and you know,
there's, there's all this otherstuff you have to decide, is it
worth going that hard?
Is it worth going that hard?
I actually just, uh, just talkedto someone not too long ago.
(30:49):
She's back in corporate.
She was in entrepreneurship fora very long time.
She decided to go back intocorporate, but she kept, she
maintained her business.
And so she's focusing on womenin leadership.
And I was just like, why wouldyou do that?
She was just like, we need morewomen.
In leadership, like they'releaving.
Right.
And while we may think thatthat's a good thing, if they
leave, then what we need morewomen in that space.
(31:13):
And so she's going from it, fromthe perspective of, I want you
to stay.
And I'm going to teach you howto stay without losing your
soul.
You're still going to sacrifice.
It's still going to be hard.
It's still going to be all thesethings, but I need you here to,
to not sacrifice or to not.
To not let, I guess the systemcompletely crumble or to
actually maybe influence how thesystem is being rebuilt.
(31:37):
We were just talking about thisand I've shared this before six
years from now, 2030, right?
Um, majority of the people whoare sitting in those positions
of power, they're going to beretiring.
They're going to be exiting.
So those are, those seats aregoing to be open.
We need more people who arewilling to say, okay, okay.
You know what?
I got six years to get it, toget it together within myself
(31:58):
first.
And then, you know, to workthrough whatever I need to do to
navigate.
And so as you look at thecorporate landscape, and I know
you're not in corporate rightnow, but I know you do a lot of
work with corporate, where do wehave the most, um, opportunity?
To impact, um, both for thosewho are at or in supporting
(32:21):
those who are at the, you know,top leadership levels as well as
the new generation that's comingin.
Dr. Yasmin (32:28):
Well, I think the new, I mean, I'm a true
believer.
The new generation is going tochange the world.
At least that's my, they'regoing to make it better because
after seeing us, we've had toaccept, you know, the world, the
way it has been.
Been to a certain degree, we'retrying to make changes, but it's
the Internet, the power ofinformation and all of that,
that makes the new generationeasier to to navigate and change
(32:49):
the systems.
I do think we absolutely needwomen in positions of power and
corporate corporations are themost powerful source of power in
our society.
And so we, it's the boardmembers at the board level who
make the decisions about who theCEOs are, about whether they
stay or leave.
We need more women and alliedmen.
(33:10):
I mean, men, they take up thosespaces for the most part.
We need brave men.
We need men who are able to say,you know what, like, it's not
just about winning.
It's about what's best forsociety, what's best for our
shareholders.
I understand that.
But, you know, research shows,and it actually achieved, um,
the organization just came outwith a report, I think two days
(33:31):
ago, but I was just read it,that stakeholder pressure,
external stakeholder pressurefor corporations, which means
that the people, the customers,is becoming more of a concern.
Two CEOs than it ever has been.
Probably about 60 percent oftheir decision making is coming
(33:52):
now from external stakeholdersand 40 percent from internal
stakeholders, which it was neverlike that before, but we also
know the generation nowadayscouncils, you know, the
cancellation of, I mean, easilygoes viral.
So CEOs are afraid of that.
And you know what?
Good.
I'm glad they should be with alldue respect.
I know their position isdifficult.
(34:12):
But I think that we talked aboutearlier about shifting of power.
Right.
It needs to go to a lot more tothe external than the internal
only because the internal hasnot worked.
We have seen how these powerstructures do not allow women to
thrive, We all know having womenin board positions, board of
(34:33):
directors and C level is moreprofitable for companies.
We know it.
We've seen the researchstatistics and it still does not
happen.
And that is because people areafraid to let go of power.
And I'll say men are afraid tolet go of power.
Not all of them, but many ofthem.
It's the fear, right?
So then they're going to beforced to.
Through the external pressure.
So, women need to stay in there.
(34:54):
This is what I help do.
I help develop women to takethem to those positions.
But what I, my work is not onlyhelp to prepare them.
Help, because many women move upand they lose who they are.
Their authenticity.
They become like men.
Right?
Because they feel that's whatthey have to do to survive.
So what we do in our work isreally helping women become true
to themselves, finding their ownvalue system, understanding,
(35:16):
aligning their values to whatworks in the organization, and
learning how to navigate thegame of corporate life without
losing their soul.
Right, we talked about that aswell.
And I love what you said earlierabout what would Bob do?
I want to use that, I'm going totake that.
What would Bob do ladies?
Because that's what they learn,just never use that term.
What the women learn in ourprograms is that they can, they
(35:40):
can play the game, they can now,they don't have to become the
game, right?
They can play the game, theydon't have to become the game,
because it comes down to thegame, so they can step in and
step out.
They can step into it, navigate,and they can step out, but they
have to have a community to goto when they step out.
That support system, right?
The community of other womenthat are like minded and are
(36:01):
doing the same thing.
So that's what we provide, acommunity of like minded women
who are navigating the corporategame, and stepping in and
stepping out, and sharing thestories, and support, because we
need a lot of support from oneanother.
Sabine (36:13):
Yes.
To
Dr. Yasmin (36:14):
be able to, to not burn out, and not think we're
going crazy at times.
Sabine (36:18):
Yes, I totally agree.
I totally agree.
I love that play the game butnot have to be the game.
Um, something I just want todouble back and then I want to
transition because you have abook that really like the four
pillars I want to get into thatand then move into our blitz
session.
So something that you mentionedwith regards to, um, you know,
(36:38):
the, the.
The power, if you will, or theexercising of power is really
happening at the board level.
And so if I, you know, if I'vebeen paying attention, I
understand that these CEOsretire and then they become
board members, right?
And so now as we're thinkingabout it from the perspective of
(36:59):
yes, In the organizations, theseseats are going to be emptied
and there's going to be room forwomen to step in there.
Well, guess what?
They're like that.
There's still that other levelof power over them.
So I'm, I'm seeing a lot moreprobably in the last, I don't
know, maybe five years, moreorganizations tailored around
(37:20):
supporting women to, uh, buildthe skill sets that they need to
step into that board role.
I think.
Uh, now that I'm thinking aboutit, I think there's, there's
probably more of a, uh, animportance, if you will, that
should be put on women movinginto board seats, um, than
necessarily being in the Csuite.
(37:42):
Um, cause we, we know, right,the C suite, yes, they have
authority, they have power inthe day to day, but if the board
says no, then it's no.
If the board says we're going inthis direction, that's what
they're doing.
If the board says no, Thank youfor your service.
Then they're out.
And so I think it's a balance,you know, we can't just limit it
to organizations.
It's organizations and boards.
And I think this applies for theentrepreneurs to entrepreneurs
(38:05):
too.
There's nothing stopping youfrom gaining the skills that you
need, especially if you'rerunning a business or if you've
run a successful business, gainthe skills.
How can I sit on boards?
How can I learn that language?
How can I step into thatposition of power, authority,
and influence?
To help, you know, anorganization that I care about
or an organization that is, youknow, near and dear to my heart
(38:27):
or relevant to the field thatI'm in.
Dr. Yasmin (38:30):
Absolutely.
I think that's where the truepower is, you know, the boards
hire and fire CEOs.
And so at the end of the day,it's been the board, the board
positions.
And the people on the boardsthat are making the decisions,
unfortunately, there's very fewpeople of color and very few
women.
I mean, it just, the numbers,you know, go up, go down.
(38:50):
We gain a few, we go backwards,five steps, you know?
And so, but at the end of theday, those board positions are
where the true power is held onthe next CEO.
And if the board does notapprove it, then it's not going
to happen.
So we can have so many people insuccession planning since we
want.
But at the end of the day, we doneed people in positions that
(39:12):
can think differently than we'vethought about what power looks
like in the last hundred yearsor what power looks like and how
it's supposed to act.
We're so focused on themasculine energy and masculine
energy is great, but we do needhumanity.
And that means the morecompassionate, the more humane,
empathetic.
(39:32):
leader as well, becausesometimes natural energy is just
about winning, you know, and thetruth is winning at what cost.
So I think that that is where itneeds to be balanced, winning at
what cost.
And I think that's not when youtake it into consideration many
times.
Sabine (39:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's important that we,we start to expand.
What our definition is on wherewe can lead and how we can lead.
I believe leadership is innateso you can lead wherever you
are, but if we're really trulygoing to step in and equalize
this distribution of power.
(40:11):
Then we need to be at in theplaces and that can, the same
could be said for government,for, you know, education and all
those other pieces, but it'sjust like, if we're not happy
with what we're seeing.
Let's not just go for the, likethat next rung in the ladder,
let's figure out, okay, how do Iget to whatever that level is
and start to build and y'allgonna get tired of hearing me
(40:31):
saying, start to build therelationships and the networks
that would allow you and supportyou to, to have those open
spaces.
I want to be respectful of yourtime.
So I do want to talk about yourbook.
as I was listening to you talkabout it, um, it was very
aligned with obviously theemotional intelligence pillars,
but you've put your own spin onit to help support.
So please tell us a little bitmore about the book, um, and
(40:54):
where, uh, the audience can findit.
Dr. Yasmin (40:57):
Absolutely.
So the book is titled GraciouslyAssertive How Becoming a Better
Human Makes You a Better Leader.
I'm super excited about it.
Um, it really is about, it'sreally the trajectory of my 20
some years of work and what Ihave discovered and helping
leaders become the best versionsof themselves.
Well, first of all, when I wasempowering and developing women,
(41:18):
they became so empowered thatthey went back and told the
process exactly how they felt.
And it was like, no, no, no, no,no, no, ladies with power comes
responsibility and not powerfeeling empowered is what is the
outcome you want to reach?
And how do I reverse engineer tomake sure that I'm communicating
in a way that I am making theother person not making them
(41:38):
wrong, but making them feelunderstood and being empathetic
to their decisions as well,whether it's your boss or
whoever it may be.
Well, I'm self advocating.
So it truly is about how to selfadvocate while holding space for
the other side.
How to be gracious and bold atthe same time and that and
that's why it's called graceassertive gracious be assertive
(41:59):
because that has been thecommunication model that I've
used and taught the women thatI've met and taught for over 20
years, thousands of women that Ihave seen have become the most
effective over over the careerand have also helped them become
better human beings because thetype of work that we do, the
type of work that I do withwomen, Is that I believe in
starts with meeting yourself andthat means self awareness, which
(42:23):
is the first pillar, you know,social awareness.
How do you impact other people,your energy?
That's the second pillar.
Third pillar is empathy.
Self regulation, which is thevideo you talked about the
negotiation.
How do I manage my own emotionto act for me to get the impact
that I want to have the outcome,then self compassion, which is
another pillar.
And then it goes into graciouscommunication.
(42:46):
How do, how do I communicate ina way so that the other person
feels I care about them.
There's these different pillars.
That as you're practicing themto become a better leader, you
automatically become a betterhuman being because you're
becoming more self aware ofyourself, how you're impacting
people.
And how do you manage that?
Then now you know how to manageyourself to be a better mother.
(43:07):
You manage yourself to be abetter wife.
On self compassion, learn how tolove yourself more.
You're teaching your childrenhow to love themselves more.
You're employing how to takecare of themselves more.
So.
You automatically, I've learnedwhere all these women who have
become these phenomenal,graciously assertive leaders.
They're, they're an incrediblehuman beings and I'm sitting
(43:30):
there watching and watching andsaying it wasn't even created
because I wanted to createbetter human beings.
I mean, I've always wanted tohelp humanity, but as a result
of trying to be a better leader.
You become a better human beingas a result of becoming a better
human being, you become a betterleader.
It really goes hand in hand.
And my philosophy is, you don'tlove people.
(43:51):
You shouldn't be leading people,period.
Get out of management right now.
Get out of leadership becausethese people depend on you.
These people are influenced byyou.
And there's so much toxicworkplace culture that, that,
you know, scars women.
There's, it takes about sevenyears to heal from a toxic boss.
(44:12):
Seven years.
I've done the studies.
Okay.
So You need to remove yourselffrom those scenarios, or you
better get yourself into a wayto start loving people because
you have so much influence onpeople.
So, I love to see that thesewomen are becoming better
leaders, but better humanbeings, because to me, The
greatest gift I can give tohumanity is knowing that I help
(44:34):
people become the best versionof themselves better human
beings to contribute more to theworld.
And God knows we need it.
Sabine (44:41):
Yes, agreed, um, so we're gonna move into the, the
blitz session here and so I havethree questions for you.
We're going to try to answerthese in two minutes.
So it's a rapid fire.
First and foremost.
Knowing what you know now, ifyou could go back to a younger
version of yourself and give hera key piece of advice, what
might that be?
Dr. Yasmin (45:03):
I would say, I know you don't understand what I'm
going to say, but every pain,every failure, everything
horrible that you may go to gothrough, find the gift in it,
find the gift in whatever you gothrough, because there is a gift
you just happen to spread.
Sabine (45:20):
Love that.
Next, um, as you look ahead, Andthink of all the impact that
you're making now, all theimpact that you're going to make
years from now, when you'relooking back at your life, what
do you want the narrative to be?
Dr. Yasmin (45:34):
I want the narrative to be, Yasmeen helped women,
people, but women is my focus,become the best version of
themselves, become the besthuman beings that they can
possibly be.
And overall helped humanity.
Sabine (45:53):
Love that.
And then I'm a big believer thatleaders are readers.
And so I'm curious, is there abook outside of your amazing
books, of course, um, that hasbeen pivotal for you in your own
development, either personal orprofessional?
Dr. Yasmin (46:10):
You know, I would say All of Wayne Dyer's books.
Wayne Dyer is a spiritualphilosopher.
He passed now that all his booksare spiritual books.
I'm a very spiritual person, notreligious, just spiritual.
So any book by Wayne Dyer, theauthor, I would say has been
very moving for me and it helpsme stay in my peace.
Sabine (46:30):
Yes, yes, I just discovered Dr.
Wayne Dyer, and I don't know, Ihave like six of his books in my
Audible queue.
Um, so yes, I completelyunderstand that it really
shifts.
He really helps shiftperspective and it is it puts
that focus back on humanity andaway from from self and
(46:52):
individuality.
So I love that.
Um, so with that, as far as forthose who are listening, if they
want to get in touch with you,they want to learn more about
your programs.
Where do you hang out?
Where can people get in touchwith you?
Dr. Yasmin (47:05):
They can get in touch with me through social
media.
I hang down on LinkedIn muchmore than Instagram.
I would say they can go to ourwebsite and email me there
through there.
Sabine (47:14):
Okay.
Awesome.
We will include all of thoselinks, including a couple of,
uh, Wayne books that are Dr.
Wayne Dyer's books that I have,um, in the show notes.
Dr.
Yasmeen, thank you so much forcoming on, sharing your wisdom,
um, sharing the insight and alsoGiving us a glimpse of, you
know, how we move forward andwhat we can do that's within our
own, uh, sphere of control orsphere of power and authority
(47:38):
here.
Um, so that we can not only justmake it better for us and the
generations that are here, butthe generations to come.
So with that, thank you forbeing on here.
For those of you who have tunedin this week, thank you for
tuning in.
We will be back next week withanother female powerhouse.
Have a great rest of the week.
Take care.
Dr. Yasmin (47:56):
Thank you.
Sabine (47:57):
Thank you.
Hope you enjoyed this week'sepisode.
If you found today'sconversation helpful or got a
piece of insight that you planto implement in your life, I'd
love to hear from you.
Connect with me on LinkedIn atSabine Gideon and send me a
message, or feel free to leave areview on either Apple or
Spotify.
I also invite you to share thisepisode with anyone in your
(48:20):
network, another powerhouse,possibly.
Who you think might benefit fromtoday's conversation.
Lastly, as always, any links,any resources, or any upcoming
training is included in the shownotes.
So be sure to check that beforeyou leave today.
Until we chat again, have ablessed and powerful week.
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