Learn From People Who Lived it

Learn From People Who Lived it

Our H.O.P.E. is to help you feel less alone, encourage you to talk it out and then when you’re ready share your story with us.


October 2, 2023 48 mins

Talking about Death with Children and Connective Compartmentalization with Caryn Kondo


In this episode, you'll hear:

  • Best practices to communicate about death with children
  • How Caryn dealt with the fears, pain, and desire for control leading up to her cancer diagnosis
  • What is connective compartmentalization?

In this episode, Mathew, ...

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The Intersection of Sobriety and Sexuality

Tawny Lara is an NYC-based writer, podcast host, and sober sexpert. Her writing has been featured in Playboy, Men’s Health, and the Huffington Post. Her most recent book, Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze, is available now!


In this episode, you'll hear:

  • You don't have to reach rock bottom to decide to reevaluate yo...
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Advocating for Yourself Through a Cancer Diagnosis with Romy Wightman

"I’m never going to get better in the environment in which I got sick."

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • Why did she keep her diagnosis private for so long, and what caused her to start sharing more?
  • Her advice to people with a new cancer diagnosis
  • The importance of being self...
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Putting the Pieces Back Together with Melissa Bottorff-Arey

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • How Melissa was able to make peace with the guilt she had over the incident
  • What she would have done differently and what it looks like to be a "safe person"
  • How she handled Alex’s death with her other two children

On August 7, 2016, Melissa Botto...

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September 7, 2023 38 mins

I'm excited for you to hear this episode because we are putting on a very thoughtful retreat for those that are dealing with grief and wanting to create some space for themselves. Our first event is October 14th and here is the link to sign up today: RETREAT

Grief Relief Retreat

If you are at least three months from losing your loved one, our team of healers will guide you through 4 unique experiences to help you start or continue ...

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Escaping Verbal Abuse and Rebuilding Self-Esteem with Caryn Lewis

In this episode, Mathew, Dr. Dave, and Caryn discuss how bullying at a young age can impact us as adults, the slow ramp-up of abuse, and the hurdles that must be overcome to escape and avoid abusive relationships. Dr. Dave talks about why kids bully, the roles fear and shame play in keeping people in bad situations, and the challenges of finding a therapist that fits...

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From Disgust to Dignity: Letting Go of Self-Loathing with Bob Fabey

In this episode, Mathew, Dr. Frank, and Bob discuss what the Dignity Gap is, how the industrial revolution and the pandemic widened the gap, and why communication is the key to closing the gap. Bob outlines Position vs. Interests, Intent vs. Impact, and the power of noticing, naming, and addressing emotions in being able to communicate effectively and treat all peo...

From a Prison Sentence to a Promising Future with Michelle Cirocco

This episode was recorded Live at the Durango Juvenile Detention Facility in Phoenix, Arizona. We have recorded episodes here in the past with Cordero Holmes and Drakkar Wright, but this is the first time we have had a female guest speak in front of 16 young women currently serving time in the Facility.

Michelle grew up in a small town in western New York but moved ...

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The Negative Impacts of Youth Sports and What to Do About It with Scott Lancaster 


Through this conversation, Mathew and Scott hope to help parents and coaches develop a renewed sense of how they might act when it comes to children in youth sports. Mathew, a former athlete and current youth sports coach for his own children, is intimately familiar with the negative impacts that bad coaching can have on children and is actively wo...

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"If I can't be good, I'll be the best and being bad."

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • What Lucy’s life was like after her sexual abuse
  • What her wake-up call was
  • How getting pregnant at 19 impacted her

In our first conversation with Lucy, we talked about childhood sexual abuse, the importance of setting boundaries, and understanding what ...

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Today we wrap up our 4 week series on Intimacy with Dr. Fedrick and today we tackle five questions:

1. My wife and I have settled into a sex routine that is boring, and predictable. How can I present and what can I present to her to shake that up?

2. My husband was sexually abused as a teenage boy and struggles with intimacy as a result. What can I do to help him heal so we can have that optimal relati...

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Week Three - Barriers to Intimacy

Welcome back to week three and this week Mathew and Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick talk about:

  • How we lose intimacy
  • The most common struggles
  • Fears surrounding intimacy & 
  • What if you are hardwired to not receive intimacy because of a trauma? 

We'll also break down:

  • Emotional neglect
  • Anxious and Avoidance Dance
  • Non knowing how to express it
  • What to do if it was never modeled for you
  • Self-Este...
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In week two its all about relational programming. Time to get clear on your triggers. WHY? 

You have to understand yourself, then work on things with others. It really doesn't work the other way around. So we will serve up tools like 

  • Check ins
  • Erotic recovery
  • Communication Skills


“What was once adaptive is now maladaptive”

Plus Dr. Fedrick puts Mathew through and exercise on his "PEOPLE PLEASING."

Here is a lin...

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What are the Five types of Intimacy? We plan to cover that and more today.

It's important to note that relationships require effort, and sometimes the spark or initial connection may fade over time. If you find yourself feeling consistently disconnected or lacking compatibility with your partner, it may be worth discussing these concerns with them openly and honestly.

In cases where you're struggling with intimacy, self-sabotage, o...

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In this episode, Sam Bradford and Mathew Blades connect for a conversation on Independence. It's more than fireworks, picnics and apple pie its about not relying on someone else for the way you feel. 


"The hard part is that when I'm dependent on those things, when I get 'em I feel better than I am and when I don't I feel worse than I really am." Sam Bradford


To learn more about Bradford and Blades, please look at our flyer...

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In this episode, you'll hear:

  • The long-term impacts of moving around a lot when you are a child
  • How to level up by moving through your fears and triggers
  • What helped Clay find forgiveness for his parents after their deaths?

Clay Jones is a father, social worker, and survivor who grew up as the youngest child in a dysfunctional, alcohol...

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We've all learned things along the way. Most times, we put that knowledge to good use but there are other times we're we act like we don't know better.  We turn the other way, ignore our gut feelings and choose to make a decision that won't serve us or the world. So today Jill and me are going to hash that out a little. We will pass out two very useful tools and talk about:

  • Why American grief just hits different 
  • When Jill real...
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In this episode, you'll hear:

  • How trauma from childhood manifests in adult life
  • What is the "fighting spirit," and why do some people feel like they have it and others don’t?
  • The power of knowing what you need and using the tools you have developed


Mathew, Dr. Frank, and Summer Silva discuss what happens to children when they are exp...

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In this episode, you'll hear: 

  • Why would someone be embarrassed to tell people they are suicidal?
  • What can you tell us about the mindset of someone who has been told they have a few weeks to live? 
  • What can friends and family do for someone struggling with mental or physical illness?

On March 10, 2017, David was diagnosed with a form o...

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First up, hope you will enjoy your Memorial Day. Instead of a new release on this holiday I wanted to make sure you were aware of some of the things we are doing here at LEARN FROM PEOPLE WHO LIVED IT.  

First up - July will be INTIMACY month here on the podcast. We will sit down with Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick and hash out everything from:

What is intimacy?

What do I do if I lose it?

How can I get it going?

Plus week is just for you. W...

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