August 7, 2025 • 63 mins
Reclaiming the Voice of Professional Moms with Chelsea Boateng
In this episode of the Learnings and Missteps podcast, host Jesse interviews Chelsea Boateng, founder of The Professional Parent. Chelsea shares her expertise in helping high-achieving women navigate the intersection of professional and motherhood identities. They discuss the mental and emotional load carried by mothers, the importance of reclaiming one's voice, and the steps women can take to design a life that aligns with their values and desires. Chelsea emphasizes the need to break free from societal and cultural conditioning to create a balanced life. The conversation is insightful and filled with personal anecdotes and practical advice for women looking to redefine their successes and find joy in their accomplishments.
Connect with Chelsea at:
Facebook: @The Professional Parent
Instagram: @the_professional_parent
Tik-Tok: @the_professional_parent
https://calendly.com/thriveforwardcoaching/30min
00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:45 Chelsea's Background and Mission
02:22 Challenges of Balancing Motherhood and Career
04:58 Personal Experiences and Reflections
06:59 Communication and Relationship Dynamics
16:44 Strategies for Effective Communication
29:51 Owning Your Business and Breaking Cycles
30:13 Balancing a Dream Job and Personal Relationships
31:51 Setting Alarms for Relationship Check-ins
33:59 The Emotional Labor of Women
40:20 Reclaiming Your Voice and Values
49:23 The 12-Week Transformation Program
53:24 Connecting with Chelsea for Coaching
56:28 The Promise You Are Intended to Be
01:00:00 Final Thoughts and Free Book Offer
Make yourself a priority and get more done: https://www.depthbuilder.com/do-the-damn-thing
Download a PDF copy of Becoming the Promise You are Intended to Be
https://www.depthbuilder.com/books
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Even if you're not quite that person that you know
necessarily is born to speak.
Everybody deserves to havetheir voice heard.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What is going on L&M family Back again, and this time
I got a super awesome guestthat does some magical wizardry
that is going to resonate witheverybody because she does stuff
with moms and, like we all haveone of those, she is a seasoned
navigator of professional andmotherhood identity, which, if
(00:36):
you know that, clashes veryoften unfairly.
It's what it is, but she'shelping with that and it's not
something that she studies orconceptually thinks about.
She's a mother of four andshe's the founder of Be
Professional Parent.
Her name is Ms Chelsea.
Oh, I didn't even see your nameright.
How do I say your last name?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
That's okay, it's Boateng.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Boateng.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yes, very good, you got it.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
She is the founder of Professional Parent, Ms Chelsea
Boateng, coming in.
We connected on a group callwith Fabi and we're getting
better at our messaging and allthe Learnings and Missteps
podcast, where you get to seehow real people just like you
(01:31):
are sharing their gifts andtalents to leave this world
better than they found it.
I'm Jesse, your selfish servant, and we are about to get to
know Miss Chelsea.
Miss Chelsea, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I am doing wonderful.
I'm so excited to be here withyou today.
I love your energy and I feellike it matches mine, so it's
all we all know it's going to begood.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
All right, that's a warning, folks.
This might be a six hourpodcast.
You never know.
And, folks, I'm just going tospill the beans.
This is Chelsea's first everpodcast, so this is going to be.
This is the bottom of thebarrel.
Everything is all upheld fromhere.
She's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I love it.
I love it, all right.
So I got a real simple question.
So I got a real simple question.
Yeah, why is helping womennavigate parenthood and their
professional experiencemeaningful to you?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Wow, you just started the six-hour train here.
No, so you know, at the realcore of it, women make up 50% of
our planet, right?
And what we notice withresearch and statistics and just
kind of like movements is 50%of the planet is doing like 67%
(02:54):
of the work.
And I don't necessarily meanlike men aren't contributing,
because of course they are, butwhat we notice is that even
though women have gravitatedinto the workplace, pretty much
out of requirement I know, forme, my house can't function with
(03:14):
a one-person income, so it'srequired that we have two
incomes and for most people,especially in America at this
point, that's the case.
And so what we've noticed isthat we've taken women and we've
put them in the workforce andsaid, yes, you can be all that,
you can be, reach for the starsand then they become mothers,
(03:35):
which they probably wanted to do.
For the population that I workwith, most of them, it was
planned for, or at least youknow it was something that they
really wanted.
And then they get intomotherhood and they're in their
professional career and theyrealize they are doing the
lion's share of the work andalso have not been given the
(03:58):
skills and tools and strategiesto use their voice to say hold
up, what's happening here.
I didn't sign up for this, thisis not what I thought it was
going to be.
And they don't know how to usetheir voice because then they're
told well, you're ungrateful,didn't you want this?
No, this was your dream, andsure it was the dream, but the
(04:23):
dream kind of didn't exactly panout the way that you were
hoping for, because I think ifyou look at it and you talk to
most women, the dream is joy,yes, with your family and being
able to find your purpose, notburying all of that so you can
(04:47):
be this over-functioning, silentworkhorse in your career and at
home.
And that was me and I for a longtime.
That was me, and not because Ididn't have a partner who cared.
I've been married for oh, Ithink we're gone 10 years now.
Yeah, so you know I've beenmarried for 10 years.
I've been married for oh, Ithink we're gone 10 years now.
Yeah, so you know I've beenmarried for 10 years.
I've had kids for a little bitafter that, my oldest twins are
(05:10):
nine and then I have afour-year-old and a two-year-old
.
So I'm in the thick of it andalso have had, you know, them
grow up a little bit and what Irealized is, you know, it wasn't
that my partner didn't care atall or that I didn't care, but
both of us had this likeconditioning and we developed
these like patterns of behavior,especially me as a woman, and
(05:34):
especially as an ambitious, highachieving woman.
I had developed these patternsof behavior that were silent,
they were over-functioning and Iwas applauded for doing those
things.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So they were reinforced.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
They were reinforced.
They said yes, you're amazing,I can't believe you did all that
.
That's crazy.
You know you just have it alltogether.
You know we'll figure it out,aka, I'll figure it out and
somebody else will benefit,right.
And so I recognize that, likeeverybody would say to me, I
love the life that you live, youhave such a beautiful life and
(06:12):
I would say and I would nod andsay, yes, I'm so grateful, I'm
so blessed, and on the insideI'm screaming because I'm saying
I don't feel that this isbeautiful.
What do you mean?
This is beauty, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I do.
Well, I don't know, because I'mon the other side of that coin,
right.
Yeah, I assume, and here's thedegree of how I know, I got a
lot of exes, chelsea.
I got two ex-wives and I got awhole lot of other exes that I
tried to count and I have noidea and I think not entirely,
(06:50):
but there is an end.
Part of the reason, one of themany reasons that they're exes,
is because of that.
Now I'm going to say some of it.
I was blind, but, as you weretaught, and again, because of
conditioning, right, theconditions around us say there's
these expectations for a dude,there's expectations for a lady,
and then we just kind of adoptit and it's what it is.
That's not an excuse, it's areality we deal with Now, I will
(07:12):
say for sure, my second wifeyou know I can keep count of all
the wives she asked me for adivorce and I thought the
marriage was phenomenal, it wasthe ultimate.
I'm like what in the world?
Where is this coming from?
Right, we got the three bed.
We didn't have any kids.
Three bedroom house, two cargarage, the truck, the car,
(07:36):
vacations I'm deep sea fishingat least once a month, playing
softball four nights a day.
What's the problem?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I don't see your problem.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Exactly.
But my point in sharing thatwas I was blind to what her
experience was for, whateverright, and I'll say I didn't
care to understand what her, Iwas doing my job, yeah, that was
my perspective.
Now, what was happening withher and what made it easy for
(08:06):
her to say, yeah, okay, fine,forget it.
I mean it wasn't that easy, buteventually it got there was the
level of resentment that shehad built up for against me for
all of the micro cuts that I wasdelivering by being deaf, dumb
and blind to what was happening.
That was the core of the thing,and so I share that.
(08:29):
So you've mentioned the lion'sshare of the work.
I want to dig into that here ina second, but first I want to
like back to your experience.
People are saying this is soamazing.
You're a super mom and you'reWonder Woman, like all of these
things, and you're like shut thehell up, I'm miserable.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And I don't want to be.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So, like this resentment thing I'm going to
say comes from not having thetools to articulate
dissatisfaction, can we talkabout that A hundred?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
percent.
That is literally the core ofthe women that I help and,
honestly, what I went throughand you know, so I'll get into
that in a second we're going todo the LNM family member shout
out, and this one goes to MissLaura Nelson.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Miss Laura took the time to leave this comment on a
post on the LinkedIn.
She says this line hit hard.
Self-reliance was part of mysickness.
Receiving help was the medicine.
Congratulations on nine years.
What a gift you're giving bysharing your story and your book
(09:37):
.
And so, folks, if you don'tknow, on June 23rd I celebrated
nine years of sobriety.
All of you out there, the L&Mfamily, y'all are 100%
contributors to me, my abilityto stay on the path.
Amazing supportive commentslike that, shares and ratings
and all the other things alsocontribute to me staying on the
(09:57):
path.
And so, please, if you take thetime to leave a comment, leave
a review, all the things.
It gives me a beautiful excuseto shout you out in a future
episode.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I mostly have women who, like, are kind of in that
like zero to five, like theirage ranges are, like for their
kids are zero to five.
Sometimes they have one,sometimes it's two, you know,
whatever it is more.
But and I would wonder if youcan attest to this too, because
(10:51):
while women are feeling thatresentment and lack of trust
with their partners, alsofeeling that lack of trust and
resentment because they can't doanything right and so, yeah, so
it's this idea of you know well, you don't trust me to do
anything with the kids.
You don't trust, like, everytime I do something, you go
ahead and you do it over or youjust assume that I can't, you
(11:15):
didn't even ask me.
And so the women oh my gosh, ishe ever going to see?
You know what I'm doing andstep in to help and the guys.
Every time I try to step in tohelp.
You know what I'm doing andstep into help and the guys.
Every time I try to step intohelp.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I do it wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I do it wrong and she tells me to redo it or
something like that, and so it'sso.
You know, my goal in life,actually someday along the road,
would be to support women whoare like almost in that like
pregnancy stage, before theresentment and trust.
I'm not quite there yet, butbefore that resentment and trust
, because there's a lot ofrepair that needs to be done
(11:49):
when you're in that stage, and Ialso do like kind of partner
work, you know, to support that.
And so I think what happens,kind of going back to your
original question, with that,resentment is it is resentment,
resentment is it is resentment.
But what I've discovered formyself and I think a lot of
(12:11):
times with women, if they cantake that step to see it, the
resentment isn't their partner,they're projecting it on their
safe person.
The resentment is where theyare in life and how they got
there.
They're resenting themselves.
(12:39):
But what I have discovered andwhat my goal is to shift for
women is that, if you can say,this is a choice you get to
change it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I love that, because you and I are 100% aligned.
This is not about blame, no,it's about ownership.
Yes, only your part of theproblem.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Right, I'm going to quote my buddy, sean Moran.
He said this on the call.
I was like, oh, that's freakinggenius, I'm stealing it.
He said no matter what everyproblem we experience, we are at
least 1% of that problem.
Yes, yes, minimum yes, and sonot blame, it's taking ownership
.
Now I want to go back to theother side, because the
(13:27):
resentment I can, we can feel itright, we know that there's
this growing force field, butthat's thickening between us
when we're in thoserelationships.
And you know one, thenitpickiness about whatever the
behavior is like.
I don't play that game anymore.
That's why I'm single.
I'm like I don't have pets,people or plants in my life
(13:48):
because I ain't got time forthat, right.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
My energy is my energy.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, and so, but here's the.
Here's what me specifically.
I can't say it's the same thingfor all men, but what ends up
happening is it all becomesstatic, Mm-hmm, Like it all just
sounds the same because itnever says anything.
It never.
When I say it, like the, I'llgive you this very specific
example and this is dumb, butthis is how dense I am my, my ex
(14:17):
at when we were together.
She's like here's the problemis, you're playing softball all
the time, You're fishing all thetime, and you work all the time
.
You're playing softball all thetime, You're fishing all the
time and you work all the time.
And I'm like, okay.
And she's like well, you staylate, you go to work, you leave
the house at five 30.
You're not on the clock tillseven.
(14:37):
You don't get home till six or7 PM and you get out like the.
I know the guys leave at three30.
I was a foreman at the time.
I was a plumbing foreman andI'm like, yeah, but I need to
learn how to get good at the job.
I'm putting extra time becauseI want to learn and succeed.
It was like the first or secondproject I was ever the foreman
on.
And her brain she's like Idon't care, fool, You're getting
paid eight hours, that's mytime, but that was the idea
(15:08):
anyways.
So she's like I want you home.
Okay, so I would come home.
And she's in the other room andI'm like why the hell am I home
If we're not going to betogether, like I could be
learning and getting ahead at myjob?
So then that kind of.
Then I was like, okay, well,then I'm going to have some
beers with the guys, which I wasa heavy drinker.
Like I said, I'm nine yearssober now, but back then I was
drinking all the time, Thank you.
(15:34):
And I would get in trouble forgetting home late, for not
coming home when I said I wasgoing to come.
Well, we found out at the endof it, it didn't matter if I was
at the bar, if I was at work,if I was at the ballpark or
fishing.
What mattered was that I wasn'thome with her period.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
And so when we finally came to like it was done
.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
She said, man I just wanted you home with me.
And she said I thought when wegot married that you would then
be home.
And I said you never said that,right, yes, right.
You never said those words Iwant you home with me.
What I heard was you're workingtoo much, you're out with the
guys too much, you're playingball too much, and when I'm home
, the TV's too loud, you'rewatching the wrong channel.
(16:18):
Why do you always got to play?
At the time I was playing Lordof the Rings on my PlayStation.
I'm like so it doesn't matter.
Like no matter what, I'm doingsomething wrong.
What I didn't understand andwhat would have helped was that
very clear language of I wantyou home, right.
That was the issue, and thatdidn't come out until six years.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, exactly six years.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yes, exactly In terms of what you do with mothers.
What does that look like?
Helping?
I'm going to say it this way.
It may not be like help clarifythis for me, but what does it
look like to help somebody whodoesn't have the tools to speak
clearly?
And because I know they allthink that they're being clear
and direct yes, but they're not.
So what does thattransformation look like?
How do you get them there?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yes, so excellent question.
And so what has to happen firstbefore you can start with the
communication piece?
Because especially the womenthat I work with so I'm not
saying necessarily this is allwomen, even if you can kind of
relate to this but specificallythe women I work with, typically
their voice is the issue whereyou know they've been probably
(17:35):
since they were little have beenbasically told like, hey,
you're too sensitive, You're tooemotional, Stop talking.
You know that doesn't matter,that didn't happen, you know
whatever and oh, but you did anexcellent job doing that, and so
that's where they decided theirworth is in their performance.
So, specifically speaking aboutthis, but I also think this
could, you know, work with otherpeople who didn't necessarily
(17:56):
speak, you know, didn'tnecessarily have that experience
.
What you have to do first isyou have to get rooted in your
values.
And you have to get rooted inyou, designing the life that you
actually want.
If you do not know what that is, you can't communicate it.
(18:20):
You can only like.
What happened with you iscommunicate the symptoms.
I don't like X, I don't like X,I don't like Y, why?
Because for somebody else andyou know, if you find another
partner, maybe they don't careright.
(18:47):
So it really you have to getrooted in what it is that you,
what your values are like, whatyour true values are.
So if that is, you know, avalue of ours, yours, that or,
sorry, whoever's, if your valueis when we're done with work.
We're done with work and we'recoming home and we're going to
spend time together or we'regoing to be at home, what does
that look like?
You know that kind of thing.
So the values piece is hugebecause you have to figure out
(19:07):
what it is you want Now.
That's going to change, it'sgoing to evolve.
You know it might lookdifferently now than it does
later, and that's okay.
But having those continuous, youknow, like inner reflections
for yourself oh hey, that didn'tsit right with me Before I
communicate, why didn't that sitright with me?
Like, why did that?
(19:28):
Why did I respond in that way?
And sometimes it's later,sometimes it's after a fight and
you don't know why you weretriggered.
You evolve, but you know youhave to sit with yourself
because you were triggered andso that's your ownership.
Why were you triggered?
You could have the best reasonever, but you still have to
figure out why you weretriggered, to figure out what it
(19:49):
is that you want differently,and so that's one of the things
that I do.
It's kind of like that firstphase for the women that I work
with is kind of really rootingyourself and reclaiming what it
is that you want in your life,because if you don't have that
foundation, then you can'tcommunicate it, you can't tell
(20:10):
other people.
So that's kind of the firstpiece, and then the next piece
once you've kind of figured thatout for yourself again, at
least baseline, at least youknow the real basics, what-.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Have an idea right.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And I always because that can seem like a huge thing,
right.
So what I do when I work withwomen well, this is what I do
with anybody, but specificallywhen I work with my population
is what is the thing that's mostimpactful for you right now?
What is the thing that hurtsthe most?
Start there.
Now some women are like no,thank you.
I'm like okay, if you don'twant to do that, then what's the
(20:41):
easiest thing?
So it's on the spectrum.
I meet them where they're at.
But that's usually I try tostart with most impactful first,
because you know if you can getthat part piece a little bit
shifted, you know you start atleast feeling better, you start
seeing that results, but some ofit.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Okay, this is going to be, this is going to be a
good thing.
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
And so usually I kind of start there.
I don't do everything, and thenso, once you kind of get rooted
in, ok, this thing is impactfulfor me.
What is it that?
What's my value?
What's my desire?
What's my, what's my need?
What's happening for me here?
Let me get clear on that.
And then what happens?
Is you need to rebuild thesystems?
Is you need to rebuild thesystems?
(21:22):
And part of those systems arethe communication systems.
That is crucial to a successfulpartnership in anything.
There's a reason we'reover-meeting Seth.
I don't care what professionyou're in, you have too many
meetings.
That could have been an email,yes, I know that, and so the
(21:49):
reason is, though, is becausecommunication is huge and we
don't do that in ourrelationships.
Yeah, we don't do that, andthen, when you bring children
into it, it's so challenging,especially young children to
make sure that you have thattime, and so what I share with
(22:09):
women is you know, the womanthat I work with is to rebuild
those systems.
You have to have pre-planned,scheduled as sexy as that sounds
time with your partner, sexy asthat sounds, time with your
partner, that you're both atbaseline, that you are both.
There's some ground rules.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
We use nonviolent communication principles use
your iMessages right, which Iknow is cliche, but there's a
reason it's powerful because itdoesn't trigger the other person
Exactly, and part of it is.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I need to get to the root of this.
If you're in a partnership andyou started off in your
partnership loving and caringabout your partner, and your
partner loves and cares for youNow, again, I'm not saying that
our relationships are like thatand I'm talking about the ones
that are, though you know,especially my.
You know high performing, highachieving women.
(23:05):
They found their powerhousepartner Like they have vetted,
and they chose, you know, theirpartner accordingly.
And again, you know thingshappen, but in general, you know
you both got together becauseyou loved and cared for one
another.
So, bringing that energy in andreminding yourselves of that,
having any type of like ritualthat helps remind you of that,
(23:28):
but something like that whereit's like every week, you know
we are going to talk about howthings are going.
Yeah, whatever it is, what wasgreat for you this week?
What happened with you thisweek?
Now, with your point, as I'mgoing to use you as an example
for a second and so you weresharing about how you wanted to
(23:49):
get ahead in your job withlearning being a foreman, right?
Yep.
So what would happen in thesemeetings?
Right, and again, I have lesssomewhat structure, but they are
organic, like they're what youwant it to be, but essentially
you would have the opportunityto say hey, babe, I am so
excited about learning thisthing.
(24:11):
You know, I really, you know, Idecided that this is where I
want to go.
You know, for right now, and Ireally want to do this thing.
How can we make it work so thatI can do this thing?
But you know I love you and Iknow it means I'm going to take
that time away from us.
How can we make it work that Istill get to you know, connect
(24:34):
with you and also get to do thisthing that I really want to do?
Yeah, you see that differenceTotally.
It's such a differentconversation and then she
potentially I don't know who sheis, so if she hears this, I'm
sorry if I'm speaking for you,but she may have had the
opportunity to say wow, that'sgoing to be really hard for me
(24:55):
because this thing, whatever itis, you know this is coming up
for me, and then you can talkabout it and figure it out Right
.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
And so, and what I found too is and in this example
you were using you and didn'thave that, that, you know
experience but what I found ismost men of course I'm not a man
, so sorry if I'm speaking forpeople, but most men find it
easier to say that Most women donot find it easy to say I'm
(25:32):
excited about this thing and I'mgoing to need your help to make
it happen.
I mean, that's a foreign conceptfor most women, especially
women that I work with that havethat kind of like those
patterns of behavior that haveleft them in like the silent
overfunction.
And so it's really getting kindof to the root of that and
(25:54):
validating that.
You know you are also allowedto have your joys and your
passions and your needs and yourwants just as much as anybody
else that you're taking care ofand that you're giving.
And so how do you create thesystems and structures to be
able to use that voice and knowthat it's not going to be
(26:15):
dismissed or that it's not goingto be, you know, kind of taken
lightly or you know, whateverthe case is, because that is, I
mean seriously a game changer?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Agreed, agreed.
So here's what I heard, andit's a super justification of it
, which means I'm just going tobe super, super simple.
Love it.
You're working with them.
And these are mothers, right?
Yes, women that have childrenand professional the whole thing
right, the superheroes of ourcountry.
It's ownership, values,communication systems and
(26:50):
structure.
I'm a huge advocate ofownership For me.
I read the book Men's Searchfor Meaning by Viktor Frankl,
and there's one quote in therethat just transformed the way I
saw the world.
It said there's a space betweenstimulus and response.
Within that space lies my powerto choose, yes, and the more I
(27:10):
use that power, the bigger thespace becomes Like oh, I can't
be a victim anymore.
It's not, she made me mad, hemade me no, no, no, no, no.
I responded to the stimulus yes.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I responded in anger.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Correct and then getting clear on our values.
Back to my side of it.
I didn't know this back then.
It took me a while and now I'msuper clear.
Like I will not sacrifice theamount of time, effort and
energy that my goals require.
It's a value of mine.
(27:45):
Like I can pretend to like yes,I'm not going to answer my
phone, I'm not going to check myemail, I'm not going to think
about work.
That's a lie.
I'm not going to think aboutwork.
That's a lie.
If that is a problem and itwill be we don't need to even go
any further.
Right, that's why I don't havepeople, plants or pets in my
life, because I got clear aboutwhat my now.
(28:08):
But here's the thing, right,most relationships we're in our
damn twenties, so yeah.
I know we're working on whatwe're doing right.
So I think that situation,naturally it's a loose
foundation.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
But back to what I love about what you're saying is
okay, we're going to work onownership, Then we're going to
get clear about what your valuesare, progressively right.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
It's not like a test that you pass or fail.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
No, these are my 10 values forever.
Right, exactly Because you saidit earlier.
We evolve as human beings.
And then the communicationbecause it's something I like to
help remind people is makingmouth noise does not qualify as
communication, right Intentionalcommunication and listening.
Yes, If we are not listening towords, body language, tone,
(29:02):
tempo, the communication is nothappening.
Yeah, if you told me again Iwant you home by 9 o'clock, okay
.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Sounds great, I can do that.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, and I'm not going to be home by 9 o'clock,
so I didn't receive the.
So I love that.
And then the systems andstructure.
I agree.
I mean here maybe I'll get somebonus points back from your
audience, miss chelsea, becauseI know there's probably people
like jesse you're such a jerkyes, I am, and I'm okay with it.
No, I'm not a jerk.
I yes, I am, and I'm okay withit.
No, I'm not a jerk, I'm justpretty selfish.
(29:44):
So another relationship, anotheramazing, very accomplished
woman that I got to spend sometime with, that kicked me out.
Part of the problem was similarscenario Like this cycle has
played out so many times.
So, guys, let me try this.
Guys out there.
L and M family member, all yoududes, all my bros, stop being a
fool, man, own your business.
You're playing through the samegame, the running the same
place, having the same cycles,and you can make a decision.
Anyways, this one relationshipcame like it's falling apart,
(30:10):
and I had started a new job.
Right, I got, I got recruitedto have this regional position
big giant responsibility.
Why Like?
It was amazing, like a dreamjob.
Right, I got recruited to havethis regional position big giant
responsibility, it was amazing,like a dream job, but still a
dream job when I had it.
And so the way I function iswhen there's a new challenge, it
is the sole 100% thing that isgoing to get all my attention.
(30:31):
It was a traveling role, so Iwas flying all over the country
to do my job and in my brain I'mgoing to leave out Sunday
evening so that I can be readyand on-site or at the office at
7 o'clock in the morning onMonday and I'm going to fly home
(30:55):
Friday night because I need togo and make relationships, learn
the business, learn the people.
Now I understand.
Here's the part that is hard.
It's a a hard sell, but it'sfor real in my head by the when
I leave to the airport, I'mworking.
I'm not thinking about textingor calling or checking in like
it's not in my brain.
I know that's not okay, it justisn't.
And so she was like bro, likeyou don't even call you.
(31:17):
What am I supposed to think?
I'm like, um, then I'm workingRight, but I recognize that's an
unreasonable expectation.
So here's where I think I gotbrownie points when she was
articulate, cause she was likethis was a good thing, cause it
wasn't a lot of the passive,aggressive miscommunications.
It was clearly a misalignmentof values, right, that I
overlooked, or maybe weoverlooked.
(31:38):
Anyways, she was like, dude,like that's not okay, you like
that is not okay for you not tocall, check in, just to totally
forget about me.
I'm like, but I didn't forget,I'm just not calling you Right.
So I said, okay, that's, I cando that.
So I set an alarm on mycalendar, on my Outlook calendar
(31:59):
.
I said at 6.03, and I pickedweird numbers, sure, so it
wasn't like right, 6.03, I'mgoing to text her good morning.
At 11.48, I'm going to give hera call.
That's lunchtime-ish, and thenin the evening, about 5.42, I'm
going to call or text her also.
And I'd have these remindersbecause if I didn't have them, I
(32:20):
was just going to I'm in thezone, yeah, and so I'm thinking
well, first let me ask you do Iget points for that?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
A hundred percent.
You built a system, youlistened, you put something in
place to support you and whatshe was saying, absolutely Right
.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Oh, it didn't give me no point.
Sister, I know that you putthat thing in your stupid
calendar.
I'm like, but I did what youwant.
And so again, people are buyinga thing.
This dude's a nutcase.
Yes, I had to do that.
And so then I'm like, but I'mdoing what you asked me to, and
it's kind of like the I can'tremember some friends that show.
I want you to want to wash thedishes, yeah, at the breakup.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
I was just going to say that, where are you, where
are you?
I was just going to bring thatup.
Is that I want you to want todo the dishes?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
And girl, that ain't going to happen, and so I share
all of that.
One, because I like lettingpeople know how sick I am in the
head, but two for the guys outthere if you have a thing that
is a non-negotiable, that isgoing to be a problem, bring it
up early.
Don't hide it, don't be thepolish it up knight in shining
(33:33):
armor and then take off the masklater.
Just be who you are.
So I'm sorry I'm doing moretalking than I should, but I
love the ownership, I love thevalues.
Communication systemscompletely agree, and here's
what I think is ultimate aboutit is that it's replicable and
(33:53):
people can progress at their ownrate, which I'm sure you're
guiding them down that path toget them there.
Now I want to go back to thelion's share of the work and I
want to say this first.
I was raised by a single momand people asked the question of
what would you do if you knewyou couldn't fail?
Here's what I would do.
(34:14):
I would build a program or anexperience where I could equip
single mothers with the skillsto earn money doing what they
love and provide affordablehousing while they were doing
that.
100% Right, because I know whatthat women sacrifice their
professional careers, theysacrifice their social career,
(34:36):
they sacrifice a lot to havekids.
I get it Now in terms of thelion's share of the work,
because that's a phrase you'veused a couple.
Are you talking about theemotional labor?
Are you talking about the housechores?
What constitute the lion'sshare of the work?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, so what I typically the way that I talk
about it is more it's theemotional labor and the mental
load labor of managing kind ofthe not only your house, but if
you have that pattern ofbehavior in your own house, you
also probably have it at work aswell, and that's what at least
(35:19):
I've noticed, in that I actuallycall them powerhouse patterns
because it's this idea ofthere's these certain patterns
of behavior that most especially, like high achieving women have
, and what happens is at workyou know your HR or your boss
says here's your slice of thework and you just put that
(35:41):
powerhouse pattern in there andthen you're great and you clock
off.
And then you come home andthere's no HR team to give you
the slice, you have the wholepie.
So it's really this idea ofthat invisible emotional labor
that you are constantly havingin your head and also it could
be doing the physical tasks,like that is part of it.
(36:04):
And when I say physical tasks,like there's a difference
between you know, a partnerhaving to mow the lawn once a
week and having to do 462 loadsof laundry every day, you split
up and you say I'm going to dothe yard work and I'm going to
do the laundry.
One is inherently more than theother, right, and you know
(36:29):
there's memes and things likethat about that all over, but
really so there's that aspect,but it's not only just the
laundry it's thinking about.
Okay, it's Sunday night.
Does everybody have at leastfive outfits that they can wear
for the next week?
Because we can't send them toschool naked, right, why not?
I will have to call ZBS.
(36:49):
You know Zabi will have to callZBS, or we can't send them in
stained clothing, althoughthat's happened before.
So it's keeping track of that.
It's keeping track of okay, onTuesdays, I have to make sure my
oldest had their recorders andthe kids had, you know, the
other two had this for daycare.
I have to make sure, oh, whosewellness appointments are coming
(37:12):
up.
You know who's scheduling allthose things who needs this
haircut, who needs thispermission slip coming up?
You know who's scheduling allthose things, who needs this
haircut, who needs thispermission slip.
So it's keeping track of thatand also having that fine
balance of that emotional workof okay.
So kids are this way and you'rethis way and partner's this way
.
And now there's some conflictand I'm going to come in and
(37:34):
stabilize or, you know, soothethe situation over and, hey guys
, we can't say this, becausethen it's going to trigger this,
and with all of that, thenyou're only taking care of
everybody else, like your wholebrain is consumed by taking care
of anybody else and everybody'slike, oh yeah, you're awesome,
(37:55):
you're amazing.
And inside you're like, yeah,but I'm not enjoying this, like
I'm not, this is not what I wantto do.
And so when I say the lion'sshare of the work, it can be
kind of like that physical task,you know, type thing.
But it's really this idea oflike on the day to day.
How much mental energy and timewomen spend on working on other
(38:22):
people's wants, needs anddesires is far more typically I
wouldn't say all, but typicallythan men, and because of that
societal and family and culturalconditioning, not so much
because they can't or they won'tor, you know, they don't care
to.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, oh, my goodness , I love this Because you
probably know what my responsewould be Like whatever they're
going to wear, if they don'twash their own clothes, they're
going to wear dirty ass clothes,right, and I'm okay with that.
Right Now, this question mightnot make sense, so please
challenge it.
How much of the work that youdo in this, because I completely
(39:05):
understand agree, 100% theemotional labor, the thought,
the cognitive load that mothersand women take on is
astronomically greater than anymen I know, and I know a bunch
of them.
Right, it's like why would youdo that, anyways?
(39:27):
So my question is this knowingthat's a fact, accept it to be a
fact how much of the work thatyou do is helping the women that
you work with?
Let go of some of the smallcrap, yes, A lot of it.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
It really is Okay.
Good, a hundred percent.
Yeah, because the thing is forme is I'm actually the looser
between me and my husband aboutsending the kids in with dirty
clothes, like I use that as anexample.
But for me, yeah, I actuallyimplemented a rule because
they're older and I was like ifit doesn't get in the basket,
it's not getting washed.
So if you have to go in dirtyunderwear, then that's for you,
(40:08):
because I'm washing if it's inthe basket.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
I've done that all my life.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Whereas my husband be like no, you have to go change
your clothes.
So it's interesting, and I'llactually speak to that in a
second, because I think that'san important piece of the values
alignment.
But part of what is helpful inrooting in values is then to be
able to say okay, if these areyour values and this is how you
want to design your motherhood.
(40:33):
I also use this tool offiguring out what your highest
use is.
So, for example, I'll use me asan example.
I do not go grocery shopping.
I use Instacart.
Absolutely my highest use isnot going to the store and
(40:54):
picking up my produce.
If I get a bad batch ofavocados this one week sorry,
we're not having avocados, likeyou know.
Like.
I don't care enough about it.
Most of my groceries will begreat.
It helps keep me on budget andI can do it throughout the week.
Hit submit on the weekend.
Go pick it up.
It's 15 minutes away and Idon't have to spend two hours,
you know, in the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Rambling the kid, getting them ready to go to like
all of that Exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
I don't have to do that.
So that's one way for me.
Now I will say now, if your jobis a chef, that could be your
highest use, right?
So I'm not saying, I'm justsaying for me personally, you
have to figure out.
So it's this combination ofwhat are your values, your
desires, your wants, your needs,and then is that what you're
(41:41):
prioritizing in your life?
Now I'm not saying there'sgoing to be things that you can
avoid, Like you have to dothings that you don't like.
That's different, Right.
But is there a way I actuallyhave my clients do what's called
like an Eisenhower matrix?
Oh, I don't know, I don't knowif you've ever heard of that,
but essentially, yes, but really, if it's not in the category of
(42:09):
like need and highest prioritythat you need to do both
professionally and at home, thenis there somebody else that can
do it, or does it even have toget done?
Is it even something thatmatters?
Right, yes, and part of thatalso is that you know
repatterning of behaviors andit's that that d or that word is
escaping me the, the Basicallygetting rid of those societal
(42:33):
and cultural and family messages.
Because even when women aredoing things that they know they
be true, following yourinstincts and your gut about, do
you have happy, healthy, youknow children and are you doing
(43:08):
what's best for them?
You know, then, okay, the restof it doesn't matter and we can
let some of that go, and thatcan be.
That's really challenging tokind of get through, but it 100%
can be done.
And what I tell women a lot isand people in general.
But your brain is rewiringitself constantly and so if your
(43:32):
baseline is here and yourpathways are here, if you spend
the next 12 weeks with me andI'm asking you to do something
repetitively, by the end of the12 weeks your brain's going to
start rewiring.
So that's the new baseline andyou'll do it automatically.
And so, even when women arelike oh I don't know, like I'm
(43:57):
not sure if I'm, and I'm like,do it anyway, just try, even if
you don't believe it's gonnawork, even if you're like this
is the dumbest thing, I don'tcare, just do it anyway.
We one, you'll gain yourconfidence in doing it and, two,
you're gonna start to see thatit's easier and your brain
starts to think that way.
It's like taking a deep breathafter the stimuli, before the
(44:19):
response.
If you can train your brain todo that, it will do it right.
You can train your thoughts thesame way as your behaviors,
where, if your child goes out ofthe house and they have food on
their pants and your originalreaction was, oh my gosh, people
are going to think I'm theworst human being ever and that
I never do laundry to well, thatsucks for them.
(44:42):
But you can retrain your brainthat way and it takes some time
and it takes some effort andrewiring, but you can do it.
And then you get rid of thatanxiety that you had for really
no reason other than what youthought society was going to
think about you.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Oh my God, Chelsea.
Okay, I imagine that whenyou're working with these
powerful women, powerfulprofessional mothers, that every
now and then there's a lot oftears.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Oh, a hundred percent for both of us sometimes.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Yes, I'm an empathetic crier.
You know I'm not guess, right,you can cry.
I've worked, actually I'veworked with another amazing
woman and she was like Jesse, Icry a lot.
I cry when I'm happy, I crywhen I'm sad and I'm like okay,
how would you like me to respond?
She's actually, I would like itif you just didn't pay, didn't
even acknowledge it doing it.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
I was like oh great, I can do that.
I got back.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
No problem, sister.
And it was one time it was areal sad situation.
She was crying and I just keptgoing with like the instructions
, what were, the plan was andwhatever.
And some somebody else in themeeting is like dude, do you not
even see that?
She's crying?
Like, yeah, but she cries allthe time and she's like this was
fine.
Anyways, fast forward.
Afterwards she's like Jess, youknow, when you told me you
(46:07):
weren't going to have a problem,I didn't believe you, but
there's something wrong with youthe way you have like no
problem at all, like yeah, fairenough.
Anyways, that's side note.
But back to the tears.
What I recognize is when peoplehave that shift, that
transformative shift around.
Oh, I'm getting chill Arounddiscovering that they have been
(46:31):
playing to a script thatsomebody else wrote for somebody
else and they have been lettingthese fumes of expectations
govern their life for so long.
Is that what you see?
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Yeah, and it happens at different points.
I have some women that it'slike two weeks in and it happens
, and I have some women thatit's not necessarily till maybe
the end that it happens.
And I've had women too who gotgreat benefit but didn't have
the shift until a little bitlater after they were.
You know, I'd never finishedwith working with anybody, but
(47:13):
maybe later after kind of theprogram and but usually they
tell me about it.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
And because the thing is, the tears are like this
cathartic release of being ableto say, oh my gosh, like it's
done.
That's typically what I seewith the tears.
It's I can release that and nowit's done and I can move
forward, like I've let it go.
And there's still going to bethings that pop up, but the way
(47:40):
that the brain works, tears area sign of help me.
Okay, that is a survivalfunction of tears.
Right, sadness and tears, butwe know we cry when we're happy
too, but in general tears areit's a cathartic release.
It releases hormones and thingslike that that help us kind of
(48:00):
move through things.
But it's also assigned to otherpeople that we need help, and
so in those moments, typicallywhat I see with tears is I can
help myself, like I now know howto help myself, like I now know
how to help myself, I'vereleased it, I know what to do
and it might be hard for me toimplement sometimes, but I know
(48:22):
what it's going to take for meto finally kind of escape these
thoughts and these feelings andthese patterns of behavior, to
say, no, I'm moving on, I'mdesigning the life that I want,
and then I can have joy andpresence and engagement and not
just be this background,invisible workhorse.
You know that everybody praises.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
You know, I think because I get to do similar,
rather I get to have the sameexperiences with other people
when I'm working with them andwhat I recognize it as like the
most significant ones right, theugly crane.
Yeah, when people see right, oh, I've been playing this game
Like nobody, I don't have toplay that game anymore, and they
(49:10):
forgive themselves about it.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Right, like it's not being forgiving anybody.
You got to forgive yourselffirst man Like it's okay.
Oh my God, this is, it'samazing work.
So it sounds like it's a 12week deal.
If I let's, I'm not a woman,but if I wanted to work with you
and had kids and if I met thecriteria, we'll just say that I
(49:33):
want to get canceled here.
Hey, miss Chelsea, I want towork with you.
It's a 12 week deal, is it?
Every day you're making me cry?
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (49:45):
No.
So typically what it looks andthe reason it's 12 weeks, it's
because it's in three parts, andso I have my reclaim, redesign,
rebuild, and so what it does isso it it's one-to-one each week
, but then each week typicallywhat happens is you kind of have
an assignment, and so there's aseries of like exercises that
I'm asking you to go through.
I might ask you to.
(50:07):
This might be the.
You know, the first session isusually like really getting down
to your values, like thosethings.
You know.
What is it that you want?
What is it that you need?
What is it that you want?
What is it that you need?
What is it that is desired?
What's that internal screamhappening that nobody else gets
to hear?
And I want you to write thatdown on paper or usually type it
.
It's usually in a workbook, andso typically that's how that
(50:28):
works.
And then usually when we comeon session, I'm asking kind of
like how was that for you?
What did that look like?
Tell me what your values are,how is that showing up for you?
And so I'm asking you to dosome a little bit of homework
each week, and then usually onthe call is kind of when we're
going through that shift of likemindset and those trigger
points and kind of what'shappening, and then sometimes
(50:50):
it'll be something like, youknow, I might've said, okay, you
know, for the next.
You know I want you to startplanning with your partner when
that time is for you guys to beable to connect and check in, do
your check-in and kind of, howwas that?
Oh, it didn't happen, why didn'tit happen?
And you know.
So then we go around that andit's a very open, nonjudgmental,
(51:11):
like, very just, like, veryjust.
My goal is for women to succeed, like that is literally my goal
, and I feel like they have theconfidence and voice and
self-worth to succeed, and sothe space that I hold for them
is open and non-judgmental.
(51:31):
Also because I've been there,I've 100% been in their shoes
and not felt like.
You know, it's a hugejuxtaposition to be able to get
up in front of 100 people andshare presentation about
expertise that you know, loveand want to share with people,
(51:53):
and then you can't go home andask your partner if he could do
bath tonight.
I mean the cognitive dissonanceof that.
It feels shameful, like how canI be this person here and I
cannot be this person.
Or even I can't ask I can dothis thing for my boss, but then
I can't ask if we can hireanother teammate because the
(52:13):
work, you know, our client ishuge and we have more work than
we thought.
And whatever.
Ask I can do this thing for myboss, but then I can't ask if we
can hire another teammatebecause the work, you know our
client is huge and we have morework than we thought and
whatever.
You know things like that andso it's just, you know, kind of
holding that space for them tosay I've been there and I get it
and I want you to be able tokind of work through that.
So it's weekly one-to-onesessions and then a little bit
of homework through them.
Sometimes it's meditation, so Iam mindfulness certified and so
(52:36):
sometimes it's starting yourself-care meditation practice,
those kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Wow, okay, and so do I get a discount if I say I
don't want the crying package,the nope tears?
Speaker 1 (52:47):
You know you can try, but I don't think it would win
that bet.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
I haven't had one yet that hasn't cried, but again
that's just the signal, likeevidence of how impactful the
work that you're doing, and yousaid something that you want to
help women be successful.
I think you are helpingsuccessful women enjoy their
success.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Yes, and redefining it.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Defining yes.
What does it mean?
Speaker 1 (53:13):
to be successful.
Speaker 2 (53:14):
Yes, yes, reclaim, redesign, rebuild, yes.
And redefining it Defining, yes.
What does it mean to besuccessful?
Yes, yes, reclaim, redesign,rebuild, yes, I mean son of a
gun.
That's exciting, thank you,super exciting.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
Now, if somebody wants to start the reclamation
process, do they text you?
Do they stalk you on Facebook?
What's the best way for the L&Mfamily members to find you?
Speaker 1 (53:37):
Absolutely so the best way is.
So I am on Facebook, so I'm atthe Professional Parent on
Facebook, instagram and TikTok,and so any of those are fine.
You can send me a DM and I'mhappy to answer that the best
way is really through my email,which I think I've shared with
you and you know I can.
It's at thriveforwardcoaching,at gmailcom and so that.
(54:00):
So either way, however, you canconnect with me either through
DM or through email.
What happens is I will send youa booking link, and so I'm
going to ask you to book a15-minute call and then, once
you pick the call with me, Iwill send you a reclaim your
voice audit.
And so what that's going to helpyou do is it's going to help me
(54:24):
figure out for you where youfeel like you're not able to
have your voice and then on thecall we can really look at a
strategy that's going to helpyou take that first step in
reclaiming your voice.
So that's the best way Now thathelps you get to know me a
little bit.
It's not a sales call.
That helps you get to know me alittle bit and it helps me get
(54:46):
to know you just to make surethat it's a right fit.
I would never put anybodythrough my program because it's
a lot that I don't think it'sthe right fit for them.
I would try to help them findsomething else if they needed to
, but it helps me do that andthen if we both feel like it's a
good fit, then I would kind ofpop you on a sales call.
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Move forward.
Figure that out.
Yeah, I love it.
All right.
So, folks, we're going to makesure we have the links in the
show notes the TikTok, theInstagram, the Facebook, the
email.
They'll hit you up, you'll sendthem an intake form, they'll
schedule a call.
They get a little bit of youknow information that they're
going to provide to you so youcan better serve them.
That's a fabulous intakeprocess.
(55:27):
I'm like thank you, I'm toolazy for that, it's your private
thing, I won't talk to you, butanyways, super, super awesome.
All right, are you ready forthe Grand Slam home run question
.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Ready, okay, hit me.
Speaker 2 (55:40):
And I'm excited.
Actually, I think there mightbe some tears coming from this
one, because again, I kind of Iknow my energy probably doesn't
put off how much I value andappreciate single moms or just
moms in general, but the factthat you're doing something to
help them reclaim their life asa professional, as a mother, as
(56:04):
a woman, as a partner, you'rehaving tremendous impact, not
just on those women but theirchildren and their partners and
their co-workers.
You're transforming worlds uponworlds through the work that
you're doing, and so what thattells me is your answer to this
question is going to be prettydamn deep.
(56:25):
And so here's the question whatis the promise you are intended
to be?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
you are intended to be.
The promise that I'm intendedto be, I might need a little
more information.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Yes, and I'll give you I'll make it a long answer
so you can have time to think.
Yeah, so that question comesfrom when I was in rehab the
last time one of the therapiststhe counselors told me the
problem isn't that you haven'tadmitted, the problem is that
you haven't accepted.
I said what the hell are wetalking about?
Sign my paper, because I needto get out of here.
He says you've admitted thatyou have a problem, but what you
(57:08):
haven't accepted is that if youcontinue to live life this way,
you will never become thepromise you are intended to be.
And in that moment I kneweverything flashed.
All the times I disappointedpeople, all the times I robbed
hope from people, all the timesthat I had a glimmer of
(57:28):
inspiration of what I could beor might be and then squished it
because it really wasn't for me.
That was the promise.
Does that help?
Speaker 1 (57:37):
Yeah, yeah.
So for me, I think the promisethat I was meant to be is I was
born to speak.
I don't know if you knowanything about human design, but
I am very heavily kind ofinvolved in human design and
what I am very heavily kind ofinvolved in human design and
what I've learned about myselfand confirmed.
I have what they call like anopen kind of throat center and
(58:01):
four defined gates, which it'sactually a lot of gates Most
people don't have that many butit just means that I was born to
speak and I was silenced mywhole life, Silenced my whole
life.
I had a very toxic upbringingand I was taught my whole life,
Silenced my whole life.
I had a very toxic upbringingand I was taught my whole life
(58:22):
your words don't matter.
And so that part of me that ishuge, it's a huge part of me.
I had to figure out how to dowhat I was born to do, but in a
way that didn't align with me.
And I think, even if you're notquite that person right, even
if you're not quite that personthat you know necessarily is
born to speak, everybodydeserves to have their voice
(58:43):
heard, and so my promise is I amgoing to be that voice for you.
I'm going to tell you thatyou're worthy and that you
deserve it and that your desiresare important and your needs
are important and that youshould have them.
And so, if you can't be thatvoice right now, my promise to
(59:04):
you is that I'm going to be thatvoice for you until you can and
I want to, I mean every human,but I can only do what I can do.
And so it's going to be for thewomen that I serve, and I 100%
have my whole heart into that,for them, Because I think for so
many of us, you know that'sthat life we've been led, and
(59:26):
there's more when you can learnto use your voice.
Oh my gosh, your whole life isgoing to change and I want
everybody to know that it canhappen for them.
If it can happen for me, withsomebody with my history and my
trauma, if it can happen for me,it can happen for you and I
know it can if you're willing totake kind of that first step.
Speaker 2 (59:48):
Wow, I got chills girl.
Speaker 1 (59:50):
Like so good, okay, I have to crack him.
Speaker 2 (59:54):
Wow, yeah, I told you it was going to be tears.
I told you oh my God, Chelsea,thank you for being so
vulnerable and bringing all ofyou to this conversation.
Did you have fun?
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
This was awesome.
I love this.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Thank you for sticking it out all the way to
the end.
I know you got a whole lot ofstuff going on and, in
appreciation for the gift oftime that you have given this
episode, I want to offer you afree PDF of my book Becoming the
Promise You're Intended to Be.
The link for that bad boy isdown in the show notes.
Hit it.
You don't even have to give meyour email address.
(01:00:32):
There's a link in there.
You just click that and you candownload the PDF.
And if you share it withsomebody that you know who might
feel stuck or be caught up inself-destructive behaviors, that
would be the ultimate yousharing.
That increases the likelihoodthat it's going to help one more
person.
(01:00:52):
And if it does help one moreperson, then you're contributing
to me becoming the promise I amintended to be Be kind to
yourself, be cool, and we'lltalk at you next time.
Even if you're not quite that person that you know
necessarily is born to speak.
Everybody deserves to havetheir voice heard.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What is going on L&M family Back again, and this time
I got a super awesome guestthat does some magical wizardry
that is going to resonate witheverybody because she does stuff
with moms and, like we all haveone of those, she is a seasoned
navigator of professional andmotherhood identity, which, if
(00:36):
you know that, clashes veryoften unfairly.
It's what it is, but she'shelping with that and it's not
something that she studies orconceptually thinks about.
She's a mother of four andshe's the founder of Be
Professional Parent.
Her name is Ms Chelsea.
Oh, I didn't even see your nameright.
How do I say your last name?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
That's okay, it's Boateng.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Boateng.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yes, very good, you got it.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
She is the founder of Professional Parent, Ms Chelsea
Boateng, coming in.
We connected on a group callwith Fabi and we're getting
better at our messaging and allthe Learnings and Missteps
podcast, where you get to seehow real people just like you
(01:31):
are sharing their gifts andtalents to leave this world
better than they found it.
I'm Jesse, your selfish servant, and we are about to get to
know Miss Chelsea.
Miss Chelsea, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I am doing wonderful.
I'm so excited to be here withyou today.
I love your energy and I feellike it matches mine, so it's
all we all know it's going to begood.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
All right, that's a warning, folks.
This might be a six hourpodcast.
You never know.
And, folks, I'm just going tospill the beans.
This is Chelsea's first everpodcast, so this is going to be.
This is the bottom of thebarrel.
Everything is all upheld fromhere.
She's going to be amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I love it.
I love it, all right.
So I got a real simple question.
So I got a real simple question.
Yeah, why is helping womennavigate parenthood and their
professional experiencemeaningful to you?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Wow, you just started the six-hour train here.
No, so you know, at the realcore of it, women make up 50% of
our planet, right?
And what we notice withresearch and statistics and just
kind of like movements is 50%of the planet is doing like 67%
(02:54):
of the work.
And I don't necessarily meanlike men aren't contributing,
because of course they are, butwhat we notice is that even
though women have gravitatedinto the workplace, pretty much
out of requirement I know, forme, my house can't function with
(03:14):
a one-person income, so it'srequired that we have two
incomes and for most people,especially in America at this
point, that's the case.
And so what we've noticed isthat we've taken women and we've
put them in the workforce andsaid, yes, you can be all that,
you can be, reach for the starsand then they become mothers,
(03:35):
which they probably wanted to do.
For the population that I workwith, most of them, it was
planned for, or at least youknow it was something that they
really wanted.
And then they get intomotherhood and they're in their
professional career and theyrealize they are doing the
lion's share of the work andalso have not been given the
(03:58):
skills and tools and strategiesto use their voice to say hold
up, what's happening here.
I didn't sign up for this, thisis not what I thought it was
going to be.
And they don't know how to usetheir voice because then they're
told well, you're ungrateful,didn't you want this?
No, this was your dream, andsure it was the dream, but the
(04:23):
dream kind of didn't exactly panout the way that you were
hoping for, because I think ifyou look at it and you talk to
most women, the dream is joy,yes, with your family and being
able to find your purpose, notburying all of that so you can
(04:47):
be this over-functioning, silentworkhorse in your career and at
home.
And that was me and I for a longtime.
That was me, and not because Ididn't have a partner who cared.
I've been married for oh, Ithink we're gone 10 years now.
Yeah, so you know I've beenmarried for 10 years.
I've been married for oh, Ithink we're gone 10 years now.
Yeah, so you know I've beenmarried for 10 years.
I've had kids for a little bitafter that, my oldest twins are
(05:10):
nine and then I have afour-year-old and a two-year-old
.
So I'm in the thick of it andalso have had, you know, them
grow up a little bit and what Irealized is, you know, it wasn't
that my partner didn't care atall or that I didn't care, but
both of us had this likeconditioning and we developed
these like patterns of behavior,especially me as a woman, and
(05:34):
especially as an ambitious, highachieving woman.
I had developed these patternsof behavior that were silent,
they were over-functioning and Iwas applauded for doing those
things.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So they were reinforced.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
They were reinforced.
They said yes, you're amazing,I can't believe you did all that
.
That's crazy.
You know you just have it alltogether.
You know we'll figure it out,aka, I'll figure it out and
somebody else will benefit,right.
And so I recognize that, likeeverybody would say to me, I
love the life that you live, youhave such a beautiful life and
(06:12):
I would say and I would nod andsay, yes, I'm so grateful, I'm
so blessed, and on the insideI'm screaming because I'm saying
I don't feel that this isbeautiful.
What do you mean?
This is beauty, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I do.
Well, I don't know, because I'mon the other side of that coin,
right.
Yeah, I assume, and here's thedegree of how I know, I got a
lot of exes, chelsea.
I got two ex-wives and I got awhole lot of other exes that I
tried to count and I have noidea and I think not entirely,
(06:50):
but there is an end.
Part of the reason, one of themany reasons that they're exes,
is because of that.
Now I'm going to say some of it.
I was blind, but, as you weretaught, and again, because of
conditioning, right, theconditions around us say there's
these expectations for a dude,there's expectations for a lady,
and then we just kind of adoptit and it's what it is.
That's not an excuse, it's areality we deal with Now, I will
(07:12):
say for sure, my second wifeyou know I can keep count of all
the wives she asked me for adivorce and I thought the
marriage was phenomenal, it wasthe ultimate.
I'm like what in the world?
Where is this coming from?
Right, we got the three bed.
We didn't have any kids.
Three bedroom house, two cargarage, the truck, the car,
(07:36):
vacations I'm deep sea fishingat least once a month, playing
softball four nights a day.
What's the problem?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I don't see your problem.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Exactly.
But my point in sharing thatwas I was blind to what her
experience was for, whateverright, and I'll say I didn't
care to understand what her, Iwas doing my job, yeah, that was
my perspective.
Now, what was happening withher and what made it easy for
(08:06):
her to say, yeah, okay, fine,forget it.
I mean it wasn't that easy, buteventually it got there was the
level of resentment that shehad built up for against me for
all of the micro cuts that I wasdelivering by being deaf, dumb
and blind to what was happening.
That was the core of the thing,and so I share that.
(08:29):
So you've mentioned the lion'sshare of the work.
I want to dig into that here ina second, but first I want to
like back to your experience.
People are saying this is soamazing.
You're a super mom and you'reWonder Woman, like all of these
things, and you're like shut thehell up, I'm miserable.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
And I don't want to be.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So, like this resentment thing I'm going to
say comes from not having thetools to articulate
dissatisfaction, can we talkabout that A hundred?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
percent.
That is literally the core ofthe women that I help and,
honestly, what I went throughand you know, so I'll get into
that in a second we're going todo the LNM family member shout
out, and this one goes to MissLaura Nelson.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Miss Laura took the time to leave this comment on a
post on the LinkedIn.
She says this line hit hard.
Self-reliance was part of mysickness.
Receiving help was the medicine.
Congratulations on nine years.
What a gift you're giving bysharing your story and your book
(09:37):
.
And so, folks, if you don'tknow, on June 23rd I celebrated
nine years of sobriety.
All of you out there, the L&Mfamily, y'all are 100%
contributors to me, my abilityto stay on the path.
Amazing supportive commentslike that, shares and ratings
and all the other things alsocontribute to me staying on the
(09:57):
path.
And so, please, if you take thetime to leave a comment, leave
a review, all the things.
It gives me a beautiful excuseto shout you out in a future
episode.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I mostly have women who, like, are kind of in that
like zero to five, like theirage ranges are, like for their
kids are zero to five.
Sometimes they have one,sometimes it's two, you know,
whatever it is more.
But and I would wonder if youcan attest to this too, because
(10:51):
while women are feeling thatresentment and lack of trust
with their partners, alsofeeling that lack of trust and
resentment because they can't doanything right and so, yeah, so
it's this idea of you know well, you don't trust me to do
anything with the kids.
You don't trust, like, everytime I do something, you go
ahead and you do it over or youjust assume that I can't, you
(11:15):
didn't even ask me.
And so the women oh my gosh, ishe ever going to see?
You know what I'm doing andstep in to help and the guys.
Every time I try to step in tohelp.
You know what I'm doing andstep into help and the guys.
Every time I try to step intohelp.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I do it wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I do it wrong and she tells me to redo it or
something like that, and so it'sso.
You know, my goal in life,actually someday along the road,
would be to support women whoare like almost in that like
pregnancy stage, before theresentment and trust.
I'm not quite there yet, butbefore that resentment and trust
, because there's a lot ofrepair that needs to be done
(11:49):
when you're in that stage, and Ialso do like kind of partner
work, you know, to support that.
And so I think what happens,kind of going back to your
original question, with that,resentment is it is resentment,
resentment is it is resentment.
But what I've discovered formyself and I think a lot of
(12:11):
times with women, if they cantake that step to see it, the
resentment isn't their partner,they're projecting it on their
safe person.
The resentment is where theyare in life and how they got
there.
They're resenting themselves.
(12:39):
But what I have discovered andwhat my goal is to shift for
women is that, if you can say,this is a choice you get to
change it.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I love that, because you and I are 100% aligned.
This is not about blame, no,it's about ownership.
Yes, only your part of theproblem.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Right, I'm going to quote my buddy, sean Moran.
He said this on the call.
I was like, oh, that's freakinggenius, I'm stealing it.
He said no matter what everyproblem we experience, we are at
least 1% of that problem.
Yes, yes, minimum yes, and sonot blame, it's taking ownership
.
Now I want to go back to theother side, because the
(13:27):
resentment I can, we can feel itright, we know that there's
this growing force field, butthat's thickening between us
when we're in thoserelationships.
And you know one, thenitpickiness about whatever the
behavior is like.
I don't play that game anymore.
That's why I'm single.
I'm like I don't have pets,people or plants in my life
(13:48):
because I ain't got time forthat, right.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
My energy is my energy.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, and so, but here's the.
Here's what me specifically.
I can't say it's the same thingfor all men, but what ends up
happening is it all becomesstatic, Mm-hmm, Like it all just
sounds the same because itnever says anything.
It never.
When I say it, like the, I'llgive you this very specific
example and this is dumb, butthis is how dense I am my, my ex
(14:17):
at when we were together.
She's like here's the problemis, you're playing softball all
the time, You're fishing all thetime, and you work all the time
.
You're playing softball all thetime, You're fishing all the
time and you work all the time.
And I'm like, okay.
And she's like well, you staylate, you go to work, you leave
the house at five 30.
You're not on the clock tillseven.
(14:37):
You don't get home till six or7 PM and you get out like the.
I know the guys leave at three30.
I was a foreman at the time.
I was a plumbing foreman andI'm like, yeah, but I need to
learn how to get good at the job.
I'm putting extra time becauseI want to learn and succeed.
It was like the first or secondproject I was ever the foreman
on.
And her brain she's like Idon't care, fool, You're getting
paid eight hours, that's mytime, but that was the idea
(15:08):
anyways.
So she's like I want you home.
Okay, so I would come home.
And she's in the other room andI'm like why the hell am I home
If we're not going to betogether, like I could be
learning and getting ahead at myjob?
So then that kind of.
Then I was like, okay, well,then I'm going to have some
beers with the guys, which I wasa heavy drinker.
Like I said, I'm nine yearssober now, but back then I was
drinking all the time, Thank you.
(15:34):
And I would get in trouble forgetting home late, for not
coming home when I said I wasgoing to come.
Well, we found out at the endof it, it didn't matter if I was
at the bar, if I was at work,if I was at the ballpark or
fishing.
What mattered was that I wasn'thome with her period.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
And so when we finally came to like it was done
.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
She said, man I just wanted you home with me.
And she said I thought when wegot married that you would then
be home.
And I said you never said that,right, yes, right.
You never said those words Iwant you home with me.
What I heard was you're workingtoo much, you're out with the
guys too much, you're playingball too much, and when I'm home
, the TV's too loud, you'rewatching the wrong channel.
(16:18):
Why do you always got to play?
At the time I was playing Lordof the Rings on my PlayStation.
I'm like so it doesn't matter.
Like no matter what, I'm doingsomething wrong.
What I didn't understand andwhat would have helped was that
very clear language of I wantyou home, right.
That was the issue, and thatdidn't come out until six years.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, exactly six years.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Yes, exactly In terms of what you do with mothers.
What does that look like?
Helping?
I'm going to say it this way.
It may not be like help clarifythis for me, but what does it
look like to help somebody whodoesn't have the tools to speak
clearly?
And because I know they allthink that they're being clear
and direct yes, but they're not.
So what does thattransformation look like?
How do you get them there?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yes, so excellent question.
And so what has to happen firstbefore you can start with the
communication piece?
Because especially the womenthat I work with so I'm not
saying necessarily this is allwomen, even if you can kind of
relate to this but specificallythe women I work with, typically
their voice is the issue whereyou know they've been probably
(17:35):
since they were little have beenbasically told like, hey,
you're too sensitive, You're tooemotional, Stop talking.
You know that doesn't matter,that didn't happen, you know
whatever and oh, but you did anexcellent job doing that, and so
that's where they decided theirworth is in their performance.
So, specifically speaking aboutthis, but I also think this
could, you know, work with otherpeople who didn't necessarily
(17:56):
speak, you know, didn'tnecessarily have that experience
.
What you have to do first isyou have to get rooted in your
values.
And you have to get rooted inyou, designing the life that you
actually want.
If you do not know what that is, you can't communicate it.
(18:20):
You can only like.
What happened with you iscommunicate the symptoms.
I don't like X, I don't like X,I don't like Y, why?
Because for somebody else andyou know, if you find another
partner, maybe they don't careright.
(18:47):
So it really you have to getrooted in what it is that you,
what your values are like, whatyour true values are.
So if that is, you know, avalue of ours, yours, that or,
sorry, whoever's, if your valueis when we're done with work.
We're done with work and we'recoming home and we're going to
spend time together or we'regoing to be at home, what does
that look like?
You know that kind of thing.
So the values piece is hugebecause you have to figure out
(19:07):
what it is you want Now.
That's going to change, it'sgoing to evolve.
You know it might lookdifferently now than it does
later, and that's okay.
But having those continuous, youknow, like inner reflections
for yourself oh hey, that didn'tsit right with me Before I
communicate, why didn't that sitright with me?
Like, why did that?
(19:28):
Why did I respond in that way?
And sometimes it's later,sometimes it's after a fight and
you don't know why you weretriggered.
You evolve, but you know youhave to sit with yourself
because you were triggered andso that's your ownership.
Why were you triggered?
You could have the best reasonever, but you still have to
figure out why you weretriggered, to figure out what it
(19:49):
is that you want differently,and so that's one of the things
that I do.
It's kind of like that firstphase for the women that I work
with is kind of really rootingyourself and reclaiming what it
is that you want in your life,because if you don't have that
foundation, then you can'tcommunicate it, you can't tell
(20:10):
other people.
So that's kind of the firstpiece, and then the next piece
once you've kind of figured thatout for yourself again, at
least baseline, at least youknow the real basics, what-.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Have an idea right.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And I always because that can seem like a huge thing,
right.
So what I do when I work withwomen well, this is what I do
with anybody, but specificallywhen I work with my population
is what is the thing that's mostimpactful for you right now?
What is the thing that hurtsthe most?
Start there.
Now some women are like no,thank you.
I'm like okay, if you don'twant to do that, then what's the
(20:41):
easiest thing?
So it's on the spectrum.
I meet them where they're at.
But that's usually I try tostart with most impactful first,
because you know if you can getthat part piece a little bit
shifted, you know you start atleast feeling better, you start
seeing that results, but some ofit.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Okay, this is going to be, this is going to be a
good thing.
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
And so usually I kind of start there.
I don't do everything, and thenso, once you kind of get rooted
in, ok, this thing is impactfulfor me.
What is it that?
What's my value?
What's my desire?
What's my, what's my need?
What's happening for me here?
Let me get clear on that.
And then what happens?
Is you need to rebuild thesystems?
Is you need to rebuild thesystems?
(21:22):
And part of those systems arethe communication systems.
That is crucial to a successfulpartnership in anything.
There's a reason we'reover-meeting Seth.
I don't care what professionyou're in, you have too many
meetings.
That could have been an email,yes, I know that, and so the
(21:49):
reason is, though, is becausecommunication is huge and we
don't do that in ourrelationships.
Yeah, we don't do that, andthen, when you bring children
into it, it's so challenging,especially young children to
make sure that you have thattime, and so what I share with
(22:09):
women is you know, the womanthat I work with is to rebuild
those systems.
You have to have pre-planned,scheduled as sexy as that sounds
time with your partner, sexy asthat sounds, time with your
partner, that you're both atbaseline, that you are both.
There's some ground rules.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
We use nonviolent communication principles use
your iMessages right, which Iknow is cliche, but there's a
reason it's powerful because itdoesn't trigger the other person
Exactly, and part of it is.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I need to get to the root of this.
If you're in a partnership andyou started off in your
partnership loving and caringabout your partner, and your
partner loves and cares for youNow, again, I'm not saying that
our relationships are like thatand I'm talking about the ones
that are, though you know,especially my.
You know high performing, highachieving women.
(23:05):
They found their powerhousepartner Like they have vetted,
and they chose, you know, theirpartner accordingly.
And again, you know thingshappen, but in general, you know
you both got together becauseyou loved and cared for one
another.
So, bringing that energy in andreminding yourselves of that,
having any type of like ritualthat helps remind you of that,
(23:28):
but something like that whereit's like every week, you know
we are going to talk about howthings are going.
Yeah, whatever it is, what wasgreat for you this week?
What happened with you thisweek?
Now, with your point, as I'mgoing to use you as an example
for a second and so you weresharing about how you wanted to
(23:49):
get ahead in your job withlearning being a foreman, right?
Yep.
So what would happen in thesemeetings?
Right, and again, I have lesssomewhat structure, but they are
organic, like they're what youwant it to be, but essentially
you would have the opportunityto say hey, babe, I am so
excited about learning thisthing.
(24:11):
You know, I really, you know, Idecided that this is where I
want to go.
You know, for right now, and Ireally want to do this thing.
How can we make it work so thatI can do this thing?
But you know I love you and Iknow it means I'm going to take
that time away from us.
How can we make it work that Istill get to you know, connect
(24:34):
with you and also get to do thisthing that I really want to do?
Yeah, you see that differenceTotally.
It's such a differentconversation and then she
potentially I don't know who sheis, so if she hears this, I'm
sorry if I'm speaking for you,but she may have had the
opportunity to say wow, that'sgoing to be really hard for me
(24:55):
because this thing, whatever itis, you know this is coming up
for me, and then you can talkabout it and figure it out Right
.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
And so, and what I found too is and in this example
you were using you and didn'thave that, that, you know
experience but what I found ismost men of course I'm not a man
, so sorry if I'm speaking forpeople, but most men find it
easier to say that Most women donot find it easy to say I'm
(25:32):
excited about this thing and I'mgoing to need your help to make
it happen.
I mean, that's a foreign conceptfor most women, especially
women that I work with that havethat kind of like those
patterns of behavior that haveleft them in like the silent
overfunction.
And so it's really getting kindof to the root of that and
(25:54):
validating that.
You know you are also allowedto have your joys and your
passions and your needs and yourwants just as much as anybody
else that you're taking care ofand that you're giving.
And so how do you create thesystems and structures to be
able to use that voice and knowthat it's not going to be
(26:15):
dismissed or that it's not goingto be, you know, kind of taken
lightly or you know, whateverthe case is, because that is, I
mean seriously a game changer?
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Agreed, agreed.
So here's what I heard, andit's a super justification of it
, which means I'm just going tobe super, super simple.
Love it.
You're working with them.
And these are mothers, right?
Yes, women that have childrenand professional the whole thing
right, the superheroes of ourcountry.
It's ownership, values,communication systems and
(26:50):
structure.
I'm a huge advocate ofownership For me.
I read the book Men's Searchfor Meaning by Viktor Frankl,
and there's one quote in therethat just transformed the way I
saw the world.
It said there's a space betweenstimulus and response.
Within that space lies my powerto choose, yes, and the more I
(27:10):
use that power, the bigger thespace becomes Like oh, I can't
be a victim anymore.
It's not, she made me mad, hemade me no, no, no, no, no.
I responded to the stimulus yes.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I responded in anger.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Correct and then getting clear on our values.
Back to my side of it.
I didn't know this back then.
It took me a while and now I'msuper clear.
Like I will not sacrifice theamount of time, effort and
energy that my goals require.
It's a value of mine.
(27:45):
Like I can pretend to like yes,I'm not going to answer my
phone, I'm not going to check myemail, I'm not going to think
about work.
That's a lie.
I'm not going to think aboutwork.
That's a lie.
If that is a problem and itwill be we don't need to even go
any further.
Right, that's why I don't havepeople, plants or pets in my
life, because I got clear aboutwhat my now.
(28:08):
But here's the thing, right,most relationships we're in our
damn twenties, so yeah.
I know we're working on whatwe're doing right.
So I think that situation,naturally it's a loose
foundation.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
But back to what I love about what you're saying is
okay, we're going to work onownership, Then we're going to
get clear about what your valuesare, progressively right.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
It's not like a test that you pass or fail.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
No, these are my 10 values forever.
Right, exactly Because you saidit earlier.
We evolve as human beings.
And then the communicationbecause it's something I like to
help remind people is makingmouth noise does not qualify as
communication, right Intentionalcommunication and listening.
Yes, If we are not listening towords, body language, tone,
(29:02):
tempo, the communication is nothappening.
Yeah, if you told me again Iwant you home by 9 o'clock, okay
.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Sounds great, I can do that.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, and I'm not going to be home by 9 o'clock,
so I didn't receive the.
So I love that.
And then the systems andstructure.
I agree.
I mean here maybe I'll get somebonus points back from your
audience, miss chelsea, becauseI know there's probably people
like jesse you're such a jerkyes, I am, and I'm okay with it.
No, I'm not a jerk.
I yes, I am, and I'm okay withit.
No, I'm not a jerk, I'm justpretty selfish.
(29:44):
So another relationship, anotheramazing, very accomplished
woman that I got to spend sometime with, that kicked me out.
Part of the problem was similarscenario Like this cycle has
played out so many times.
So, guys, let me try this.
Guys out there.
L and M family member, all yoududes, all my bros, stop being a
fool, man, own your business.
You're playing through the samegame, the running the same
place, having the same cycles,and you can make a decision.
Anyways, this one relationshipcame like it's falling apart,
(30:10):
and I had started a new job.
Right, I got, I got recruitedto have this regional position
big giant responsibility.
Why Like?
It was amazing, like a dreamjob.
Right, I got recruited to havethis regional position big giant
responsibility, it was amazing,like a dream job, but still a
dream job when I had it.
And so the way I function iswhen there's a new challenge, it
is the sole 100% thing that isgoing to get all my attention.
(30:31):
It was a traveling role, so Iwas flying all over the country
to do my job and in my brain I'mgoing to leave out Sunday
evening so that I can be readyand on-site or at the office at
7 o'clock in the morning onMonday and I'm going to fly home
(30:55):
Friday night because I need togo and make relationships, learn
the business, learn the people.
Now I understand.
Here's the part that is hard.
It's a a hard sell, but it'sfor real in my head by the when
I leave to the airport, I'mworking.
I'm not thinking about textingor calling or checking in like
it's not in my brain.
I know that's not okay, it justisn't.
And so she was like bro, likeyou don't even call you.
(31:17):
What am I supposed to think?
I'm like, um, then I'm workingRight, but I recognize that's an
unreasonable expectation.
So here's where I think I gotbrownie points when she was
articulate, cause she was likethis was a good thing, cause it
wasn't a lot of the passive,aggressive miscommunications.
It was clearly a misalignmentof values, right, that I
overlooked, or maybe weoverlooked.
(31:38):
Anyways, she was like, dude,like that's not okay, you like
that is not okay for you not tocall, check in, just to totally
forget about me.
I'm like, but I didn't forget,I'm just not calling you Right.
So I said, okay, that's, I cando that.
So I set an alarm on mycalendar, on my Outlook calendar
(31:59):
.
I said at 6.03, and I pickedweird numbers, sure, so it
wasn't like right, 6.03, I'mgoing to text her good morning.
At 11.48, I'm going to give hera call.
That's lunchtime-ish, and thenin the evening, about 5.42, I'm
going to call or text her also.
And I'd have these remindersbecause if I didn't have them, I
(32:20):
was just going to I'm in thezone, yeah, and so I'm thinking
well, first let me ask you do Iget points for that?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
A hundred percent.
You built a system, youlistened, you put something in
place to support you and whatshe was saying, absolutely Right
.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Oh, it didn't give me no point.
Sister, I know that you putthat thing in your stupid
calendar.
I'm like, but I did what youwant.
And so again, people are buyinga thing.
This dude's a nutcase.
Yes, I had to do that.
And so then I'm like, but I'mdoing what you asked me to, and
it's kind of like the I can'tremember some friends that show.
I want you to want to wash thedishes, yeah, at the breakup.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
I was just going to say that, where are you, where
are you?
I was just going to bring thatup.
Is that I want you to want todo the dishes?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
And girl, that ain't going to happen, and so I share
all of that.
One, because I like lettingpeople know how sick I am in the
head, but two for the guys outthere if you have a thing that
is a non-negotiable, that isgoing to be a problem, bring it
up early.
Don't hide it, don't be thepolish it up knight in shining
(33:33):
armor and then take off the masklater.
Just be who you are.
So I'm sorry I'm doing moretalking than I should, but I
love the ownership, I love thevalues.
Communication systemscompletely agree, and here's
what I think is ultimate aboutit is that it's replicable and
(33:53):
people can progress at their ownrate, which I'm sure you're
guiding them down that path toget them there.
Now I want to go back to thelion's share of the work and I
want to say this first.
I was raised by a single momand people asked the question of
what would you do if you knewyou couldn't fail?
Here's what I would do.
(34:14):
I would build a program or anexperience where I could equip
single mothers with the skillsto earn money doing what they
love and provide affordablehousing while they were doing
that.
100% Right, because I know whatthat women sacrifice their
professional careers, theysacrifice their social career,
(34:36):
they sacrifice a lot to havekids.
I get it Now in terms of thelion's share of the work,
because that's a phrase you'veused a couple.
Are you talking about theemotional labor?
Are you talking about the housechores?
What constitute the lion'sshare of the work?
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, so what I typically the way that I talk
about it is more it's theemotional labor and the mental
load labor of managing kind ofthe not only your house, but if
you have that pattern ofbehavior in your own house, you
also probably have it at work aswell, and that's what at least
(35:19):
I've noticed, in that I actuallycall them powerhouse patterns
because it's this idea ofthere's these certain patterns
of behavior that most especially, like high achieving women have
, and what happens is at workyou know your HR or your boss
says here's your slice of thework and you just put that
(35:41):
powerhouse pattern in there andthen you're great and you clock
off.
And then you come home andthere's no HR team to give you
the slice, you have the wholepie.
So it's really this idea ofthat invisible emotional labor
that you are constantly havingin your head and also it could
be doing the physical tasks,like that is part of it.
(36:04):
And when I say physical tasks,like there's a difference
between you know, a partnerhaving to mow the lawn once a
week and having to do 462 loadsof laundry every day, you split
up and you say I'm going to dothe yard work and I'm going to
do the laundry.
One is inherently more than theother, right, and you know
(36:29):
there's memes and things likethat about that all over, but
really so there's that aspect,but it's not only just the
laundry it's thinking about.
Okay, it's Sunday night.
Does everybody have at leastfive outfits that they can wear
for the next week?
Because we can't send them toschool naked, right, why not?
I will have to call ZBS.
(36:49):
You know Zabi will have to callZBS, or we can't send them in
stained clothing, althoughthat's happened before.
So it's keeping track of that.
It's keeping track of okay, onTuesdays, I have to make sure my
oldest had their recorders andthe kids had, you know, the
other two had this for daycare.
I have to make sure, oh, whosewellness appointments are coming
(37:12):
up.
You know who's scheduling allthose things who needs this
haircut, who needs thispermission slip coming up?
You know who's scheduling allthose things, who needs this
haircut, who needs thispermission slip.
So it's keeping track of thatand also having that fine
balance of that emotional workof okay.
So kids are this way and you'rethis way and partner's this way
.
And now there's some conflictand I'm going to come in and
(37:34):
stabilize or, you know, soothethe situation over and, hey guys
, we can't say this, becausethen it's going to trigger this,
and with all of that, thenyou're only taking care of
everybody else, like your wholebrain is consumed by taking care
of anybody else and everybody'slike, oh yeah, you're awesome,
(37:55):
you're amazing.
And inside you're like, yeah,but I'm not enjoying this, like
I'm not, this is not what I wantto do.
And so when I say the lion'sshare of the work, it can be
kind of like that physical task,you know, type thing.
But it's really this idea oflike on the day to day.
How much mental energy and timewomen spend on working on other
(38:22):
people's wants, needs anddesires is far more typically I
wouldn't say all, but typicallythan men, and because of that
societal and family and culturalconditioning, not so much
because they can't or they won'tor, you know, they don't care
to.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, oh, my goodness , I love this Because you
probably know what my responsewould be Like whatever they're
going to wear, if they don'twash their own clothes, they're
going to wear dirty ass clothes,right, and I'm okay with that.
Right Now, this question mightnot make sense, so please
challenge it.
How much of the work that youdo in this, because I completely
(39:05):
understand agree, 100% theemotional labor, the thought,
the cognitive load that mothersand women take on is
astronomically greater than anymen I know, and I know a bunch
of them.
Right, it's like why would youdo that, anyways?
(39:27):
So my question is this knowingthat's a fact, accept it to be a
fact how much of the work thatyou do is helping the women that
you work with?
Let go of some of the smallcrap, yes, A lot of it.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
It really is Okay.
Good, a hundred percent.
Yeah, because the thing is forme is I'm actually the looser
between me and my husband aboutsending the kids in with dirty
clothes, like I use that as anexample.
But for me, yeah, I actuallyimplemented a rule because
they're older and I was like ifit doesn't get in the basket,
it's not getting washed.
So if you have to go in dirtyunderwear, then that's for you,
(40:08):
because I'm washing if it's inthe basket.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
I've done that all my life.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Whereas my husband be like no, you have to go change
your clothes.
So it's interesting, and I'llactually speak to that in a
second, because I think that'san important piece of the values
alignment.
But part of what is helpful inrooting in values is then to be
able to say okay, if these areyour values and this is how you
want to design your motherhood.
(40:33):
I also use this tool offiguring out what your highest
use is.
So, for example, I'll use me asan example.
I do not go grocery shopping.
I use Instacart.
Absolutely my highest use isnot going to the store and
(40:54):
picking up my produce.
If I get a bad batch ofavocados this one week sorry,
we're not having avocados, likeyou know.
Like.
I don't care enough about it.
Most of my groceries will begreat.
It helps keep me on budget andI can do it throughout the week.
Hit submit on the weekend.
Go pick it up.
It's 15 minutes away and Idon't have to spend two hours,
you know, in the grocery store.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Rambling the kid, getting them ready to go to like
all of that Exactly.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
I don't have to do that.
So that's one way for me.
Now I will say now, if your jobis a chef, that could be your
highest use, right?
So I'm not saying, I'm justsaying for me personally, you
have to figure out.
So it's this combination ofwhat are your values, your
desires, your wants, your needs,and then is that what you're
(41:41):
prioritizing in your life?
Now I'm not saying there'sgoing to be things that you can
avoid, Like you have to dothings that you don't like.
That's different, Right.
But is there a way I actuallyhave my clients do what's called
like an Eisenhower matrix?
Oh, I don't know, I don't knowif you've ever heard of that,
but essentially, yes, but really, if it's not in the category of
(42:09):
like need and highest prioritythat you need to do both
professionally and at home, thenis there somebody else that can
do it, or does it even have toget done?
Is it even something thatmatters?
Right, yes, and part of thatalso is that you know
repatterning of behaviors andit's that that d or that word is
escaping me the, the Basicallygetting rid of those societal
(42:33):
and cultural and family messages.
Because even when women aredoing things that they know they
be true, following yourinstincts and your gut about, do
you have happy, healthy, youknow children and are you doing
(43:08):
what's best for them?
You know, then, okay, the restof it doesn't matter and we can
let some of that go, and thatcan be.
That's really challenging tokind of get through, but it 100%
can be done.
And what I tell women a lot isand people in general.
But your brain is rewiringitself constantly and so if your
(43:32):
baseline is here and yourpathways are here, if you spend
the next 12 weeks with me andI'm asking you to do something
repetitively, by the end of the12 weeks your brain's going to
start rewiring.
So that's the new baseline andyou'll do it automatically.
And so, even when women arelike oh I don't know, like I'm
(43:57):
not sure if I'm, and I'm like,do it anyway, just try, even if
you don't believe it's gonnawork, even if you're like this
is the dumbest thing, I don'tcare, just do it anyway.
We one, you'll gain yourconfidence in doing it and, two,
you're gonna start to see thatit's easier and your brain
starts to think that way.
It's like taking a deep breathafter the stimuli, before the
(44:19):
response.
If you can train your brain todo that, it will do it right.
You can train your thoughts thesame way as your behaviors,
where, if your child goes out ofthe house and they have food on
their pants and your originalreaction was, oh my gosh, people
are going to think I'm theworst human being ever and that
I never do laundry to well, thatsucks for them.
(44:42):
But you can retrain your brainthat way and it takes some time
and it takes some effort andrewiring, but you can do it.
And then you get rid of thatanxiety that you had for really
no reason other than what youthought society was going to
think about you.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Oh my God, Chelsea.
Okay, I imagine that whenyou're working with these
powerful women, powerfulprofessional mothers, that every
now and then there's a lot oftears.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Oh, a hundred percent for both of us sometimes.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Yes, I'm an empathetic crier.
You know I'm not guess, right,you can cry.
I've worked, actually I'veworked with another amazing
woman and she was like Jesse, Icry a lot.
I cry when I'm happy, I crywhen I'm sad and I'm like okay,
how would you like me to respond?
She's actually, I would like itif you just didn't pay, didn't
even acknowledge it doing it.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
I was like oh great, I can do that.
I got back.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
No problem, sister.
And it was one time it was areal sad situation.
She was crying and I just keptgoing with like the instructions
, what were, the plan was andwhatever.
And some somebody else in themeeting is like dude, do you not
even see that?
She's crying?
Like, yeah, but she cries allthe time and she's like this was
fine.
Anyways, fast forward.
Afterwards she's like Jess, youknow, when you told me you
(46:07):
weren't going to have a problem,I didn't believe you, but
there's something wrong with youthe way you have like no
problem at all, like yeah, fairenough.
Anyways, that's side note.
But back to the tears.
What I recognize is when peoplehave that shift, that
transformative shift around.
Oh, I'm getting chill Arounddiscovering that they have been
(46:31):
playing to a script thatsomebody else wrote for somebody
else and they have been lettingthese fumes of expectations
govern their life for so long.
Is that what you see?
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Yeah, and it happens at different points.
I have some women that it'slike two weeks in and it happens
, and I have some women thatit's not necessarily till maybe
the end that it happens.
And I've had women too who gotgreat benefit but didn't have
the shift until a little bitlater after they were.
You know, I'd never finishedwith working with anybody, but
(47:13):
maybe later after kind of theprogram and but usually they
tell me about it.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
And because the thing is, the tears are like this
cathartic release of being ableto say, oh my gosh, like it's
done.
That's typically what I seewith the tears.
It's I can release that and nowit's done and I can move
forward, like I've let it go.
And there's still going to bethings that pop up, but the way
(47:40):
that the brain works, tears area sign of help me.
Okay, that is a survivalfunction of tears.
Right, sadness and tears, butwe know we cry when we're happy
too, but in general tears areit's a cathartic release.
It releases hormones and thingslike that that help us kind of
(48:00):
move through things.
But it's also assigned to otherpeople that we need help, and
so in those moments, typicallywhat I see with tears is I can
help myself, like I now know howto help myself, like I now know
how to help myself, I'vereleased it, I know what to do
and it might be hard for me toimplement sometimes, but I know
(48:22):
what it's going to take for meto finally kind of escape these
thoughts and these feelings andthese patterns of behavior, to
say, no, I'm moving on, I'mdesigning the life that I want,
and then I can have joy andpresence and engagement and not
just be this background,invisible workhorse.
You know that everybody praises.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
You know, I think because I get to do similar,
rather I get to have the sameexperiences with other people
when I'm working with them andwhat I recognize it as like the
most significant ones right, theugly crane.
Yeah, when people see right, oh, I've been playing this game
Like nobody, I don't have toplay that game anymore, and they
(49:10):
forgive themselves about it.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Right, like it's not being forgiving anybody.
You got to forgive yourselffirst man Like it's okay.
Oh my God, this is, it'samazing work.
So it sounds like it's a 12week deal.
If I let's, I'm not a woman,but if I wanted to work with you
and had kids and if I met thecriteria, we'll just say that I
(49:33):
want to get canceled here.
Hey, miss Chelsea, I want towork with you.
It's a 12 week deal, is it?
Every day you're making me cry?
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (49:45):
No.
So typically what it looks andthe reason it's 12 weeks, it's
because it's in three parts, andso I have my reclaim, redesign,
rebuild, and so what it does isso it it's one-to-one each week
, but then each week typicallywhat happens is you kind of have
an assignment, and so there's aseries of like exercises that
I'm asking you to go through.
I might ask you to.
(50:07):
This might be the.
You know, the first session isusually like really getting down
to your values, like thosethings.
You know.
What is it that you want?
What is it that you need?
What is it that you want?
What is it that you need?
What is it that is desired?
What's that internal screamhappening that nobody else gets
to hear?
And I want you to write thatdown on paper or usually type it
.
It's usually in a workbook, andso typically that's how that
(50:28):
works.
And then usually when we comeon session, I'm asking kind of
like how was that for you?
What did that look like?
Tell me what your values are,how is that showing up for you?
And so I'm asking you to dosome a little bit of homework
each week, and then usually onthe call is kind of when we're
going through that shift of likemindset and those trigger
points and kind of what'shappening, and then sometimes
(50:50):
it'll be something like, youknow, I might've said, okay, you
know, for the next.
You know I want you to startplanning with your partner when
that time is for you guys to beable to connect and check in, do
your check-in and kind of, howwas that?
Oh, it didn't happen, why didn'tit happen?
And you know.
So then we go around that andit's a very open, nonjudgmental,
(51:11):
like, very just, like, veryjust.
My goal is for women to succeed, like that is literally my goal
, and I feel like they have theconfidence and voice and
self-worth to succeed, and sothe space that I hold for them
is open and non-judgmental.
(51:31):
Also because I've been there,I've 100% been in their shoes
and not felt like.
You know, it's a hugejuxtaposition to be able to get
up in front of 100 people andshare presentation about
expertise that you know, loveand want to share with people,
(51:53):
and then you can't go home andask your partner if he could do
bath tonight.
I mean the cognitive dissonanceof that.
It feels shameful, like how canI be this person here and I
cannot be this person.
Or even I can't ask I can dothis thing for my boss, but then
I can't ask if we can hireanother teammate because the
(52:13):
work, you know, our client ishuge and we have more work than
we thought.
And whatever.
Ask I can do this thing for myboss, but then I can't ask if we
can hire another teammatebecause the work, you know our
client is huge and we have morework than we thought and
whatever.
You know things like that andso it's just, you know, kind of
holding that space for them tosay I've been there and I get it
and I want you to be able tokind of work through that.
So it's weekly one-to-onesessions and then a little bit
of homework through them.
Sometimes it's meditation, so Iam mindfulness certified and so
(52:36):
sometimes it's starting yourself-care meditation practice,
those kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Wow, okay, and so do I get a discount if I say I
don't want the crying package,the nope tears?
Speaker 1 (52:47):
You know you can try, but I don't think it would win
that bet.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
I haven't had one yet that hasn't cried, but again
that's just the signal, likeevidence of how impactful the
work that you're doing, and yousaid something that you want to
help women be successful.
I think you are helpingsuccessful women enjoy their
success.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
Yes, and redefining it.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Defining yes.
What does it mean?
Speaker 1 (53:13):
to be successful.
Speaker 2 (53:14):
Yes, yes, reclaim, redesign, rebuild, yes.
And redefining it Defining, yes.
What does it mean to besuccessful?
Yes, yes, reclaim, redesign,rebuild, yes, I mean son of a
gun.
That's exciting, thank you,super exciting.
Speaker 1 (53:23):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
Now, if somebody wants to start the reclamation
process, do they text you?
Do they stalk you on Facebook?
What's the best way for the L&Mfamily members to find you?
Speaker 1 (53:37):
Absolutely so the best way is.
So I am on Facebook, so I'm atthe Professional Parent on
Facebook, instagram and TikTok,and so any of those are fine.
You can send me a DM and I'mhappy to answer that the best
way is really through my email,which I think I've shared with
you and you know I can.
It's at thriveforwardcoaching,at gmailcom and so that.
(54:00):
So either way, however, you canconnect with me either through
DM or through email.
What happens is I will send youa booking link, and so I'm
going to ask you to book a15-minute call and then, once
you pick the call with me, Iwill send you a reclaim your
voice audit.
And so what that's going to helpyou do is it's going to help me
(54:24):
figure out for you where youfeel like you're not able to
have your voice and then on thecall we can really look at a
strategy that's going to helpyou take that first step in
reclaiming your voice.
So that's the best way Now thathelps you get to know me a
little bit.
It's not a sales call.
That helps you get to know me alittle bit and it helps me get
(54:46):
to know you just to make surethat it's a right fit.
I would never put anybodythrough my program because it's
a lot that I don't think it'sthe right fit for them.
I would try to help them findsomething else if they needed to
, but it helps me do that andthen if we both feel like it's a
good fit, then I would kind ofpop you on a sales call.
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Move forward.
Figure that out.
Yeah, I love it.
All right.
So, folks, we're going to makesure we have the links in the
show notes the TikTok, theInstagram, the Facebook, the
email.
They'll hit you up, you'll sendthem an intake form, they'll
schedule a call.
They get a little bit of youknow information that they're
going to provide to you so youcan better serve them.
That's a fabulous intakeprocess.
(55:27):
I'm like thank you, I'm toolazy for that, it's your private
thing, I won't talk to you, butanyways, super, super awesome.
All right, are you ready forthe Grand Slam home run question
.
Speaker 1 (55:40):
Ready, okay, hit me.
Speaker 2 (55:40):
And I'm excited.
Actually, I think there mightbe some tears coming from this
one, because again, I kind of Iknow my energy probably doesn't
put off how much I value andappreciate single moms or just
moms in general, but the factthat you're doing something to
help them reclaim their life asa professional, as a mother, as
(56:04):
a woman, as a partner, you'rehaving tremendous impact, not
just on those women but theirchildren and their partners and
their co-workers.
You're transforming worlds uponworlds through the work that
you're doing, and so what thattells me is your answer to this
question is going to be prettydamn deep.
(56:25):
And so here's the question whatis the promise you are intended
to be?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
you are intended to be.
The promise that I'm intendedto be, I might need a little
more information.
Speaker 2 (56:44):
Yes, and I'll give you I'll make it a long answer
so you can have time to think.
Yeah, so that question comesfrom when I was in rehab the
last time one of the therapiststhe counselors told me the
problem isn't that you haven'tadmitted, the problem is that
you haven't accepted.
I said what the hell are wetalking about?
Sign my paper, because I needto get out of here.
He says you've admitted thatyou have a problem, but what you
(57:08):
haven't accepted is that if youcontinue to live life this way,
you will never become thepromise you are intended to be.
And in that moment I kneweverything flashed.
All the times I disappointedpeople, all the times I robbed
hope from people, all the timesthat I had a glimmer of
(57:28):
inspiration of what I could beor might be and then squished it
because it really wasn't for me.
That was the promise.
Does that help?
Speaker 1 (57:37):
Yeah, yeah.
So for me, I think the promisethat I was meant to be is I was
born to speak.
I don't know if you knowanything about human design, but
I am very heavily kind ofinvolved in human design and
what I am very heavily kind ofinvolved in human design and
what I've learned about myselfand confirmed.
I have what they call like anopen kind of throat center and
(58:01):
four defined gates, which it'sactually a lot of gates Most
people don't have that many butit just means that I was born to
speak and I was silenced mywhole life, Silenced my whole
life.
I had a very toxic upbringingand I was taught my whole life,
Silenced my whole life.
I had a very toxic upbringingand I was taught my whole life
(58:22):
your words don't matter.
And so that part of me that ishuge, it's a huge part of me.
I had to figure out how to dowhat I was born to do, but in a
way that didn't align with me.
And I think, even if you're notquite that person right, even
if you're not quite that personthat you know necessarily is
born to speak, everybodydeserves to have their voice
(58:43):
heard, and so my promise is I amgoing to be that voice for you.
I'm going to tell you thatyou're worthy and that you
deserve it and that your desiresare important and your needs
are important and that youshould have them.
And so, if you can't be thatvoice right now, my promise to
(59:04):
you is that I'm going to be thatvoice for you until you can and
I want to, I mean every human,but I can only do what I can do.
And so it's going to be for thewomen that I serve, and I 100%
have my whole heart into that,for them, Because I think for so
many of us, you know that'sthat life we've been led, and
(59:26):
there's more when you can learnto use your voice.
Oh my gosh, your whole life isgoing to change and I want
everybody to know that it canhappen for them.
If it can happen for me, withsomebody with my history and my
trauma, if it can happen for me,it can happen for you and I
know it can if you're willing totake kind of that first step.
Speaker 2 (59:48):
Wow, I got chills girl.
Speaker 1 (59:50):
Like so good, okay, I have to crack him.
Speaker 2 (59:54):
Wow, yeah, I told you it was going to be tears.
I told you oh my God, Chelsea,thank you for being so
vulnerable and bringing all ofyou to this conversation.
Did you have fun?
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
This was awesome.
I love this.
Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Thank you for sticking it out all the way to
the end.
I know you got a whole lot ofstuff going on and, in
appreciation for the gift oftime that you have given this
episode, I want to offer you afree PDF of my book Becoming the
Promise You're Intended to Be.
The link for that bad boy isdown in the show notes.
Hit it.
You don't even have to give meyour email address.
(01:00:32):
There's a link in there.
You just click that and you candownload the PDF.
And if you share it withsomebody that you know who might
feel stuck or be caught up inself-destructive behaviors, that
would be the ultimate yousharing.
That increases the likelihoodthat it's going to help one more
person.
(01:00:52):
And if it does help one moreperson, then you're contributing
to me becoming the promise I amintended to be Be kind to
yourself, be cool, and we'lltalk at you next time.
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