June 13, 2024 • 38 mins
Can you imagine transforming your daily routine into a series of mindful moments that bring peace and clarity? This episode dives into the heart of mindfulness and authentic living, beginning with an exploration of what it means to be present and aware in every moment. I share my unique perspective as a professional photographer specializing in newborn sessions, revealing how being baby-led and moving at a slower pace can heighten our ability to tune into the energy around us. Through these experiences, we discuss the powerful impact of mindfulness on our everyday lives, from savoring simple activities to fostering deeper connections with ourselves and others.
Ever struggled with speaking your truth and staying authentic? We'll explore the challenges of people-pleasing and the importance of expressing your personal truth, even when it's uncomfortable. By learning to voice your feelings and thoughts, you can prevent them from consuming your mind and detracting from your present moment. Practicing true listening—without preemptively planning your response—can significantly enhance genuine communication and understanding. Throughout this discussion, I share practical mindfulness techniques like mindful breathing, eating, and movement, aimed at reclaiming your inherent stillness and clarity.
This episode isn't just about theory; it's about engaging with you, our valued audience. Join me for live Instagram sessions where we can discuss these topics in real-time and address your questions. Keep an eye out for announcements and participate in our upcoming dedicated Q&A episode. Your support and presence are invaluable, and I am excited to continue this journey of mindfulness and authentic living together. Thank you for being part of this community, and let's keep the conversation going!
If you would like to be a guest on this podcast or would like to support this work, visit www.leavingthechurchtofindgod.com where you can contact Melissa and or make a donation. Follow along my journey on IG at @authenticallymeli and find more in depth content on YouTube at Diary of an Authentic Life.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Aloha Godpod, thank you for being here again.
Can you believe that this isepisode 15?
I cannot.
I, it just has flown by.
So many things to get into andto talk about.
I'm learning so much.
It's just been such a wild ride.
Already there are going to be25 episodes this season and this
(00:23):
is number 15.
So we're way past that halfwaymark rolling on in to the end of
this season.
So thank you for being here.
Everybody who keeps showing upweek after week, I appreciate
you, and even those who are new,I appreciate you too.
So let's get in it.
(00:44):
Mindfulness so last week I wastalking about embodiment and I
just decided to go for it withthe embodiment, mindfulness, and
then we'll talk about beingsoul led, because my whole
shtick is authenticity, right,living authentically.
Like authenticity leads toeverything, leads to everything
that you desire.
And it just made sense to likeI was inspired to go into
(01:08):
embodiment and now it just makessense to kind of lay this
foundation and for me, like, thefoundation of authenticity is,
you know, embodiment,mindfulness and being soul led.
So here we are today we'regoing to talk about mindfulness
and I'm going to get through itsort of quickly because I've
(01:31):
realized, like last week after Isigned off, oh so much started
pouring in.
Don't worry, I took notes andthat tends to happen once I
really start, even though I'vebeen thinking about it and
mulling it around.
Once I actually start recordingand talking about a subject,
more starts coming in.
So what I think I'm going to dois create this into some sort
(01:52):
of free program so that the bulkof the information is in there.
So we're getting the highlightshere of the podcast and if you
want to know more and you wantto dive deeper into it, that
that's an option as well.
So I'm working on that.
So I tried to condense this alittle bit.
It'll be a little shorterprobably than last week if I
(02:13):
stop talking and get to it.
So what is mindfulness?
Mindfulness, it means beingintentionally aware and engaged
in the present moment, or, as somany people call it, being
present, being right here, rightnow, with acceptance and
without judgment.
That's such a.
(02:33):
Both of those two pieces arepivotal in mindfulness, because
it literally is like about notresisting what's happening in
the moment.
So that's where the acceptancepiece comes in and without
judgment of what's happening.
In that we are being mindful.
It's not about stopping yourthoughts and feelings at all.
(02:57):
It's about stepping back andobserving them, letting them
come and go.
If your mind wanders, gentlybringing it back to the present
Again, without judgment, notlike there I go again, but ooh,
there was a thought.
Let's come back to the present,and this happens with practice.
For me, personally, I feel likemindfulness is.
It shows up, like slowing down,tuning into everything.
(03:20):
That's not your thoughts, likeyour, all of your other senses
and feelings and everything elsethat's around us, so that you
can observe your thoughts, likeall of your other senses and
feelings and everything elsethat's around us, so that you
can observe your thoughts likesee your thoughts as the
observer, rather to be consumedby them.
It's about being mindful ofyour environment and any
resistance to it, mindful ofyour emotions rising and falling
(03:41):
.
Mindful of your senses withoutanalyzing them, of your emotions
rising and falling.
Mindful of your senses withoutanalyzing them.
Mindful of wanting to besomewhere else, wishing time
away or the urge to lash out infrustration.
Focusing on the present moment,tuning into physical sensations
, being aware of everything thatyou do and letting go of
thoughts about the future orpast.
I know it sounds so simple,right, but don't worry, we're
(04:06):
gonna get into it.
So, yeah, like being aware ofwhat you do.
This for me it shows up in suchinteresting ways is one way I
was really thinking about is inmy newborn sessions.
Anyone who knows me knows thatI'm also a professional
photographer and I photographnewborn babies much of the time
(04:27):
and with the babies I really tryto be baby led.
I really am baby led, and whichmeans not having a goal, a
specific goal of what I'm tryingto accomplish from that session
, but knowing what I'm capableof doing and then meeting that
baby where they're at andproducing something really
beautiful, you know, meetingtheir capabilities with my
(04:49):
capabilities.
So I don't go in with like ashot list like many people do.
I'll set up sets and make itcute, you know, have things
planned out, but so many peoplecome in with a shot list,
they're on it, they get it done.
I respect those people.
They get their sessions done somuch more quickly, but I'm very
mindful about things.
This is something that has builtin me over years and years this
(05:12):
awareness of being present, andso I've really plus, I think
being neurodivergent reallyhelps me to like zoom in, and so
I feel like it's really justbecome a regular part of my life
and, like in the newbornsessions, that looks like me
just moving really slowly, melistening to the baby's
(05:32):
movements and energy andreactions and working with that
and instead of just trying torush rush into another thing,
I'm moving my hand very slowlyand gently when I'm touching the
baby.
I'm not just like touching thefabric gently when I'm touching
the baby, I'm not just liketouching the fabric or moving
something out of the way.
I'm literally using my energyto feel that baby's energy.
I'm tuning in.
(05:53):
As I say this, I realized thatI probably developed a lot of
this like touch mindfulness frombeing a massage therapist,
which I was a long, long timeago in one of my many lifetimes.
But yeah, like really juststopping and slowing down when
I'm with that baby, I'm lookingat all the little hairs on their
ear and I'm looking at theirlittle hairs on their shoulder
(06:16):
and where the skin is peelingoff and if they're getting a
little splotchy mark, that'sletting me know that maybe
they're getting a little hot inone area or the other.
Just like really just tuning in, like zeroing in on that baby I
don't know if you've seen inlike the movies, like when they
show like flies or an insect,like visioning.
(06:37):
It's like everything else getsquiet and then they just like
zone in on the thing.
That's what mindfulness lookslike in practice.
For me that's like it's justreally just tuning out
everything else and focusing inon the present experience.
You know, it's not going tohappen overnight.
(06:58):
For one being aware, awarenessbrings mindfulness right.
So when we become aware ofsomething, then oftentimes you
know, especially if we livemindfully, we it just becomes.
You know, it went from oursubconscious into our conscious
awareness and then we becomemindful of it.
I was, I used to work with thisguy.
He did it's called Zen therapy.
(07:19):
There's nothing Zen about it.
It's the most painful thingI've ever experienced, but it
worked.
He was a real, he's a bodyworker.
I wouldn't call it massagebecause that would be very
misleading or chiropractic, it'ssome torturous something
incorporating them both, I guess.
But he had learned it in amonastery.
He was a monk for more than 20years and he did this thing
(07:42):
called Zen therapy and it worked.
It was very painful, not Zentherapy, and it worked.
It was very painful, not Zen,but it worked.
And he said something to me, youknow.
He said oh, you're really rightside dominant, which totally
made sense.
At the time I was very much inmy masculine energy, which is
represented by the right side ofthe body, and I'm like, yeah,
that makes sense.
(08:02):
And I'm like, well, what can Ido about it?
And he said nothing you willautomatically do something about
it.
Now that you're aware of it,and I was like, oh, okay, that
makes sense and it's true.
Actually, the next time I wentand saw him which he's not
someone you go see often, sothis is probably a year later
you really went once when youwere in desperate need, would
(08:23):
fix whatever it was, and thenyou didn't go back unless you
absolutely had to.
I speak of him in past tensebecause I'm pretty sure he's
retired now, but maybe not, Idon't know, I'm too afraid to
find out but he then, the nexttime I went to see him, he was
like, oh, your left side isreally tight, you know, and he
(08:44):
was talking about thesedifferent places where I had a
lot of tension in my left side.
He was like you were overdoingit, you were trying too hard,
and he was right.
I have been making a verymindful effort of using my left
side, which I guess was a littlebit of an overuse, but that's
mindfulness.
You know, once it becomes inour awareness and we hold it in
(09:05):
our awareness, then we practicemindfulness around it.
So it can look like our makingspace for mindfulness in your
day to day can be like noticingwhen your mind is escaping the
present, like if you're doingsomething and then you start
thinking about something thathappened in the past and like
ruminating.
Or you're working on somethingand then you like go into oh,
(09:26):
what am I going to eat when Iget off work, or what am I going
to do next week, or what am Igoing to wear to this thing, and
you get into the present, thenyou're escaping I mean into the
future, then you're escaping thepresent moment.
So just kind of noticing whenyour mind wants to escape the
present.
A lot of times it happens whenwe are uncomfortable because we
(09:46):
have been trained, like I spokeon last week.
If you haven't listened to lastweek's episode on embodiment,
please do this.
Will all make a lot more sense.
But when I was speaking lastweek on embodiment, that was the
thing.
It's like we're trained toavoid discomfort.
That was the thing is likewe're trained to avoid
discomfort.
That's kind of how ourenvironment and our society has
(10:08):
conditioned us that discomfortis a bad thing when it really
isn't.
Again, go back to that episodeand you'll understand.
And so when our mind getsuncomfortable or when we're, a
lot of times when we're actuallyaccomplishing something that we
care about or we're doingsomething that we don't care
about, our mind will escapediscomfort by going into a past
(10:28):
or a future tense, thinkingabout something that's not
actually happening in thatpresent moment.
Making space for mindfulness canlook like being aware of your
reactions to stimuli, like whensomebody jumps out in front of
my car driving down BaldwinAvenue.
I'm laughing because I realized, like I don't even know.
(10:50):
I mentioned Baldwin Avenue andHana Highway intersection in
Paia often because it was reallythe bane of my existence but
also couldn't live without itand everything in that
intersection.
But that's where Mana Foods is.
But going down Baldwin and somepedestrian jumps out in front
of my car, you know I'm gonnalike really get enraged and very
(11:11):
upset about it because deepdown I'm concerned.
I'm concerned for their safety.
I'm concerned because I almosthit them and it scared me.
But you know, that doesn't meanthat's bad, that doesn't mean I
shouldn't react in that way,but just me being aware of it,
you know, which automaticallybrings me back into the present,
as you can see, I'm laughingand I'll do that.
I'll be like, ah, so angry at adriver and within seconds I'm
(11:35):
like laughing at myself becauseI'm like, I'm really not mad
about that, this is just areaction, and even if I was mad
about it, it would be okay.
The mindfulness is thatawareness of it, right, and so
I'm not stuck in this likemoment of enraged, you know.
Instead, I'm the observer of itand I see that and I'm like, oh
, melissa, you really don't likethis intersection, do you babe?
(11:57):
And it makes me laugh and makesme appreciate myself on another
level.
So, and that's you know kind ofhow it plays out.
You know, like a big part ofwhat I am doing with this
podcast is untangling and withmy book is untangling beliefs,
you know, that were given us,these beliefs, that of
(12:17):
perfection and productivity,that keep us kind of stuck in
our thoughts and kind of in thiscycle that keeps us stuck Doing
(12:41):
things for the enjoyment, withno goal.
That is a beautiful way ofbeing mindful, like when I'm
doing arts and crafts, or I'mdoodling, or I'm sitting on the
beach, making designs with um,coral and shells, whatever it is
like, just doing it for theenjoyment.
I'm not going to sell it toanybody, I'm not going to take a
(13:02):
picture of it, I'm it'sprobably not even going to look
pretty, but I, I just enjoy it.
Like that's.
That's mindfulness in everydaylife, right?
Speaking your truth, speakingyour truth so that it doesn't
consume your mind, because ifyou don't let those thoughts out
, they're going to stay in andthey're just going to circulate
(13:22):
and take over your thoughts,which takes you out of the
present, right?
So that's what's so importantand this is one of the ways that
it really really deeply tiesinto authenticity.
It's because, when we speak,you know the truth.
Your truth is your truth,whether you're embarrassed by it
, whether there are other peoplelike it or not, whatever the
situation, it's still your truth.
(13:42):
So why not let it out, right,like other people are letting
theirs out?
This is not like a newphenomenon.
I'm speaking to the peoplepleasers out there.
Let it out Like say what youmean, mean what you say, right,
speak your truth and that's youknow.
If somebody does something thatdoesn't feel good, you know, say
(14:04):
it in the moment.
If you think about it, and ifyou don't say it later, if you
need to to get it off your mind,it in the moment, if you think
about it, and if you don't sayit later, if you need to to get
it off your mind.
But you know, somebody sayssomething that's harsh or
doesn't feel just and you couldsay that, like that hurt my
feelings, or what did you meanby that?
Or one of my favorites is whatwere you trying to accomplish by
that?
Because that really gets downto the root of the compliment.
You know, and sometimessomebody could be trying to pay
(14:26):
us a compliment and it soundslike an insult.
Or sometimes they're insultingus and they don't realize that
they're being passive,aggressive.
Asking that question can reallyget down to the core of you know
.
It brings mindfulness to whatwe're saying.
So speak your truths.
If you don't like something,say it, say it.
It's the truth anyway.
(14:46):
Not saying it isn't making itgo away, it's not making it less
true, it's only festering.
I promise feeling your emotionsfully.
Mindfulness can look like that,like if you're feeling something
like me and the rage in the car, like sure I could probably
(15:06):
control it.
I'm sure I could, because I'mreally usually not even angry
Again.
It just scares me.
But I, you know, feel thoseemotions.
I let them out.
I scream and I'm, you know, Ilet it all out.
I feel it fully and that'sbeing mindful, you know, of how
we're feeling and being, in ouremotions.
(15:28):
We can be mindful, the same asembodiment, like resting when
needed, just by being embodied.
So many of these things you'llsee with this conversation and
with the next one on being soulled, that they are really
intertwined and that's not acoincidence.
I'll get into more of it later,but that's like the unity part.
That's what the body, mind,spirit is the embodiment, the
(15:49):
mindfulness and being soul led.
It is a unity.
All of it works in harmony tocreate, you know, this unity
within us.
So they're going to overlap.
Mindfulness and embodiment canlook exactly the same.
It can look exactly the same asbeing soul led, because they
are.
It's just like different sidesof the same coin.
It can look exactly the same asbeing soul-led, because they
(16:09):
are.
It's just like different sidesof the same coin.
You know, oh, what doesmindfulness look like in
practice?
Y'all, I actually took notes.
Can you tell that?
I'm actually like focusing andstaying on subject.
Let me know what you think.
Let me know if you like itbetter when I'm like intuitively
rambling, or let me know if youlike it when I intuitively
(16:29):
ramble to my notes app and thenorganize it in a way that comes
out cohesively in the podcast.
I'm hoping that this helps mekeep it shorter to make it
easier listening, and maybe I'mtalking too fast, I don't know.
Let me know, guys, I'm here foryour feedback.
Let me know.
As long as it's kind, like bekind.
It doesn't have to be somethingI want to hear, but say it with
kindness, please, or at leastneutrality.
(16:52):
Oh, what does mindfulness looklike in practice?
It means listening to someonewithout being in your head
thinking about how you're goingto respond to them when they
finish talking.
That wasn't judgment.
That wasn't judgment.
I know it may have soundedjudgy, it wasn't so.
(17:13):
Many of us do this.
It's such a common practice anda lot of us it's just because
we want to be engaged and wewant to say the right thing or
we have our own.
You know, social anxiety thatwe're dealing with for whatever
reason.
That we're dealing with forwhatever reason.
This is something I feel likeour whole humanity would elevate
(17:33):
if we could be more mindfuljust around this one thing,
which is, when you're inconversation with someone,
listening, being mindful, beingpresent to what they're saying,
to how they're feeling whilethey're saying it, sure, but be
present with them as they'respeaking and not in your
thoughts about what you're goingto say when they finish
(17:54):
speaking, about how you're goingto respond or how you disagree
or whatever.
Just listen.
Just listen and hold space.
Trust me, your thoughts will bewaiting for you when they
finish their sentence.
I promise they don't goanywhere.
Trust me, I've tried, they'restill going to be there.
I can also look like doing tasksslowly and intentionally, which
(18:16):
helps us to avoid mistakes andsavor the experience.
This is like when, like I wastalking about, with the newborn
photography, you know, orsometimes when I'm cleaning my
house.
Sure, I could like bust throughit, bam and get it done and
(18:37):
whatever, but I actually enjoyit when I take time and like
really get into the nooks andcrannies and reorganize and wipe
down all the parts.
And you know, the last time Icleaned my bathroom, I was so
excited, I actually even cleanedthe walls and ceilings, y'all.
I cleaned the walls andceilings, not just knocked down
spiderwebs, I actually cleanedthe walls and ceilings because I
(18:57):
enjoyed it.
I was really being mindful andit was.
My bathroom was built out brandnew when I moved in a year ago
and I want to keep it brand new.
The same with my kitchen.
I want to honor what thelandlord has invested into the
place but also, like I lovehaving new stuff.
So I'm going to keep it as newand clean and pretty as I want
(19:17):
it.
So it was my intention to go inthe bathroom it had been a year
and give it a reset and make itlike it was brand new again.
And I did.
I enjoyed that.
It didn't feel like a chorebecause I really took my time.
I took my time and went throughmy medicine cabinet and wiped
down all the shelves and tookout what I didn't need.
You know, I did the whole thingbut it wasn't a chore because I
(19:39):
was doing it mindfully andthat's the beauty of it.
It's like, really, when we startdoing things mindfully, we
enjoy it.
Not necessarily because I enjoycleaning my bathroom.
I freaking hate cleaning mybathroom.
It is normally one of my leastfavorite things to do.
But that's the beauty ofmindfulness is that we bring
presence into what we're doing,whatever it is that we're doing,
(20:01):
it makes it more enjoyable,because what's happening is
we're enjoying the experience ofbeing alive, we're enjoying the
experience of experience, we'reenjoying the experience of our
senses, we're enjoying theexperience of our body's ability
(20:22):
to move and to understand andto process information.
It's really an opportunity forour soul, for that larger,
broader perspective that I wastalking about last week.
It's an opportunity for thatbroader perspective to enjoy
being human.
Y'all that just came to mewhile I was talking.
That wasn't in the notes, soyou're welcome.
Okay, listening without we didthat one.
(20:46):
Be aware of how your wordsimpact others.
Thinking before you speak it'sa classic example of being
mindful.
It's something that we've heardour whole lives.
Hopefully that we do.
We have held on to that bit ofmindfulness in society thinking
before you speak and again,that's just being in the present
moment and being like, oh, I'mabout to say this thing, but
(21:09):
this person's over here thatthat could trigger this other
thing that they're dealing withright now and come out the wrong
way.
That could be hurtful for them.
So I'm actually not going tosay it like that, or I could use
these wordings, but thatdoesn't feel aligned with what
I'm saying.
So let me take my time and saythis in a way that's going to be
effective and that's not goingto trigger, but it's going to
(21:30):
actually communicate Thinkingbefore you speak.
That is.
It is, I think, the number oneway that we've all heard the
most ever about being mindful.
It just wasn't necessarilycalled that, so I'll stop
rambling.
Through these practices, youtrain your mind for its true
purpose.
What is that true purpose?
(21:51):
It's not getting lost inthought spirals and mental noise
.
I'll tell you that much.
It's being an open and awarepresence, able to clearly
perceive the world around youand within you I'm going to say
it again and within you.
I'm going to say it again.
It's being able to clearlyperceive the world around you
(22:11):
and within you by being an openand aware presence.
That's it.
You're the presence.
You're that broader perspectiveand when you step back and
you're in that observer, you'rethe observer, you're the
presence that's observing thislife experience.
That's it, baby.
(22:33):
That's it.
(22:57):
The mind's purpose is to be afocused tool.
It's not a runaway train ofthoughts and worries.
It's a tool.
It's a tool for solvingtactical problems.
It's a tool for keeping usalive.
It's a tool for navigatingphysical situations that we're
approaching.
It's a tool to be used by younot to be confused, for you
(23:31):
rightful role as the observerand perceiver, rather than a
deluded dictator constantlynarrating what's happening and
telling you what means what andwhat to believe about yourself
and about others and about eachsituation that you're in.
With practice, the mind settles.
Thoughts come and go, but theydon't dominate you, reclaim your
inherent stillness and operatefrom a place of clarity and calm
, responding to life rather thanreacting to life.
(23:51):
This is the mind's true powerand freedom, no longer buffeted
by every passing thought, butharnessed in service of your
deepest wisdom and truth an open, receptive consciousness living
fully in this present moment.
Living fully in this presentmoment Sounds good, huh, sounds
(24:11):
good, right, right, are you in?
Do you want to know sometechniques?
You know I'm not going to tellyou you need to do it without
giving you some ways.
So here we go.
Here's some easy techniques tounderstand the practicality of
what mindfulness is Like mindfulbreathing you can like
literally stop and take breaths,but you feel the breath like in
(24:32):
your body and the sensations inyour body when you're breathing
and you feel the breath likewhen you're breathing out.
You feel the temperature of thebreath.
You feel the way that thebreath touches your skin when
you move out.
You feel your musclescontracting around your
diaphragm.
You feel you maybe smell yourbreath when you're doing it.
Like being mindful when you'rebreathing is really just tuning
(24:53):
into the act of breathing.
Mindful eating it's the samething.
It's a great way to practicemindfulness is to stop.
Oh, this was so hard for me.
Being in the service industryanybody who's been in the
service industry you know I havebartended and served for a
great deal of my life and youget these brief glimpses of
moments to eat and you work,usually pretty long shifts and
(25:15):
you're burning lots of calories,moving a lot and you don't get
a lot of time to eat.
So you really just kind of haveto like learn to inhale food
and finish a meal in like lessthan a minute.
I'm not exaggerating.
So mindful eating was great.
I'm really.
I'm still learning it, I'mstill practicing it.
I've definitely become moremindful to where it's usually
like as soon as I start eatingfast, I kind of catch myself and
(25:38):
I'm like, ooh, let me slow downand enjoy this.
But mindful eating looks likeyou know, savoring each bite of
your food, tasting it, feelinghow it feels in your mouth,
smelling it, seeing it on yourplate, like really
appreciatingating eachingredient, taking a moment to
show gratitude to the people whoprepared it, taking a moment to
feel gratitude for the peoplewho grew the food, who, for
(26:01):
everybody along the way thatmade it happen to the, where
that could be on your plate.
Feeling it in your body.
Feeling when your body is fulllike filling your body's, cues
about it, and when your body'sfull, like stopping to eat or,
if you are not sure, stoppingand giving it a few minutes and
then, if you're still hungry,you can continue to eat If
you're not stop there.
Those are ways of mindfuleating.
(26:23):
Mindful movement can look in alot of different ways.
One could just be as simple asgoing for a walk.
Go for a walk and pay attentionto your surroundings instead of
your thoughts, and if yourthoughts come, that's fine.
They're going to, but let thempass.
You don't need to get caught upin them and entertain them and
keep going into these scenariosor these thoughts, just like,
let them come and go.
(26:46):
You know, noticing, this morningI went for a walk.
I didn't sleep well last night,which is why the podcast is
probably going to publish alittle late today, because I was
up at like 4am and I decided Iwasn't able to go back to sleep
within like an hour.
So I got up and started doingthings and ate breakfast.
I went for a walk.
It was so nice.
I love going for walks beforethe world is awake, like early
(27:08):
in the mornings.
I love being out in the worldbefore the world is awake.
I don't like being awake beforedaylight, though they're two
very different things.
But I was on my walk thismorning and I looked up at this
big tree and the way that thelight was shining.
It looked like a cartoon.
It was just so like defined andcolorful and bright.
(27:30):
It was really cool.
And then I was looking at theseother trees and the sun was
starting to shine through inways that it was creating like a
star, like beams, you know,like I create with my camera
sometimes in photos.
But I noticed the differencebetween how the photos show it
and how my eyes were actuallyseeing it and enjoyed having a
(27:50):
little morning sun in my eyesand looking up at the trees.
And then I looked over and Icould see this ray of sun like
on the grass, like highlightingthe section of grass that made
it just like this really brightyellowish green color, when the
others were still kind of dullfrom the animals and noticing
(28:13):
the insects that were happeningand seeing leaves fall down from
the tree and noticing littlebeads of mist on the plants.
That was a mindful walk.
That's what mindfulness feelslike and just talking about it,
I got a little lost.
I don't even know how long Iwent on there because I was
really back in that moment,enjoying that moment.
(28:34):
It was just a little walk thismorning but gosh, it was amazing
.
It was such a beautiful,wonderful day to start my day.
That's a great example ofmindful movement.
You know mindful listening.
You could listen to soundsaround without analyzing them or
trying to figure out wherethey're coming from or whatever,
but just like letting them pass, come in and out.
(28:57):
My favorite form of mindfulnessis mindful self-compassion.
Notice when you're judgingyourself and reminding yourself
that you're human and thateveryone makes mistakes and that
it's okay, it doesn't meananything about you.
That it's okay, it doesn't meananything about you.
(29:19):
Really like, being mindful ofhow many judgments you make
about yourself throughout theday and how many beliefs you
have about yourself is such apowerful, powerful practice.
I'll keep mentioning it becauseit's so important.
Kristen Neff has done someamazing work on mindful
self-compassion.
You can look up.
She has a workbook which Irecommend to so many people, and
there's also a book, fierceSelf-Compassion.
(29:40):
Either will do, depending onyou know what medium you like to
use.
They're all going to have.
Both of them have exercisesthey all need to complete.
Mindful self-compassion is anamazing practice for
authenticity, for embodiment,for mindfulness, obviously, for
being soul-led, like it all tiesin there.
(30:01):
Such an important, important,important piece.
So, other than the pureenjoyment, if you're not already
sold, I'll let you know a fewof the benefits of mindfulness
include reduced stress andanxiety these are the proven
stuffs, y'all.
Increased focus andconcentration, improved
(30:22):
emotional regulation, greaterself-awareness and insight, an
ability to savor positiveexperiences, better sleep
Potential, relief from chronicconditions.
Those are great benefits.
There's just scratching thesurface of the benefits.
(30:42):
If anybody does this, ifanybody starts practicing this
mindfulness, please I would loveto hear from you.
You can message on social, youcan always comment on blog posts
, you can just message mepersonally, whatever, but let me
know.
I want to hear about yourexperience of mindfulness and
benefits that you areexperiencing from it or ways
(31:05):
that you're practicing it.
Maybe I'll do.
Yeah, that's what we do.
I'm going to do a post onInstagram about this episode or
about mindfulness in general,and I would love for you to come
there and leave some commentsso that I can hear about your
experience with this practice.
And, of course, coming back toauthenticity, because otherwise
it wouldn't be me, what doesmindfulness have to do with
(31:28):
authenticity?
Well, it allows intentionalaction versus being an autopilot
.
By being intentional in ouraction, it is going to be more
aligned with our internal truthrather than just acting from the
mind, just an autopilotrepeating the same motions.
By the non-judal observation.
(31:52):
It helps prevent overthinking,which lowers stress.
We talked about that one.
But without the overthinking,we can be more present in
general and be our authenticselves.
Hear our authentic selves, knowwhat that even means.
The self-awareness reveals ourcore values.
You know, the more aware webecome of our feelings about
(32:13):
things and our thoughts aboutthings and we start observing
all of this, then it gives uscues.
It's like oh, that's somethingthat's really important to me.
For me, one of my core valuesis integrity.
It's really important that if Igive my word, that I keep it
and if, for whatever reason, I'mnot able to that, I make that
right and that I keep it thenext time.
(32:33):
But always the default is goingto be if I give my word, I keep
it to myself and to others.
Integrity is one of my corevalues.
Inclusion is one of my corevalues.
I don't want to createsomething that's exclusive when
it's this important.
I don't want this brand to beexclusive.
I want this brand to includeanyone who it feels aligned with
(32:56):
.
So inclusion is one of my corevalues.
I know that from being tunedinto myself, from noticing my
own thoughts and reactions toexperiences that are happening
in my life, so thatself-awareness.
It reveals those core values toyou Tuning into the body and
being mindful of the body.
It guides our intuitive choices.
(33:17):
It helps us let go ofresistance and create openness
for our lives, for growth, foropportunity, for connection and
appreciating the present moment.
It nurtures gratitude.
It just my description of mywalk this morning, like I was
feeling so grateful for all ofthose things that exist in the
(33:38):
world, so those you knowconnections to authenticity.
It so, ultimately, you know,mindfulness anchors you in your
truth so you can listen to yourinner voice and align your life
(33:58):
with your genuine self.
It's the catalyst for livingwith integrity.
Mindfulness is just asimportant as embodiment, and
embodiment is just as importantas being soul-led, and being
soul-led is just as important asbeing soul led, and being soul
led is just as important asmindfulness.
It's imperative.
(34:19):
Ultimately, mindfulness anchorsyou in your truth so you can
listen to your inner voice andalign your life with your
genuine self.
It's a catalyst.
It's a catalyst for living in,a catalyst for living in truth,
for living in authenticity andintegrity.
(34:39):
So Does this make sense?
Is it tracking?
How do you feel?
Let me know.
I look forward to hearing fromyou all about this and, if you
want to know more, I amdeveloping something that will
share more, that will getfurther into this.
I would love to have aconversation about it.
I've been going live onInstagram on Wednesdays, so if
(35:01):
you want to join for a live Idon't give an exact time because
that's just not how I operate,but I will be there on Wednesday
, so if you want to keep an eyeout, I usually announce about an
hour or two beforehand that I'mgoing live and we can do some
question and answers on this.
You can always just type inquestions that I'll include.
I'm hoping to do a question andanswer episode before the end
(35:23):
of the season, so if you haveany questions about anything
we've talked about in the season, go ahead and start getting
those to me, please.
And yes, thank you again forbeing here, thank you, thank you
, thank you.
I am aware of your presence.
I appreciate your presence.
I appreciate your support.
If y'all keep showing up, Iwill too.
(35:43):
I love you.
Have a wonderful day and stayauthentic.
Aloha Godpod, thank you for being here again.
Can you believe that this isepisode 15?
I cannot.
I, it just has flown by.
So many things to get into andto talk about.
I'm learning so much.
It's just been such a wild ride.
Already there are going to be25 episodes this season and this
(00:23):
is number 15.
So we're way past that halfwaymark rolling on in to the end of
this season.
So thank you for being here.
Everybody who keeps showing upweek after week, I appreciate
you, and even those who are new,I appreciate you too.
So let's get in it.
(00:44):
Mindfulness so last week I wastalking about embodiment and I
just decided to go for it withthe embodiment, mindfulness, and
then we'll talk about beingsoul led, because my whole
shtick is authenticity, right,living authentically.
Like authenticity leads toeverything, leads to everything
that you desire.
And it just made sense to likeI was inspired to go into
(01:08):
embodiment and now it just makessense to kind of lay this
foundation and for me, like, thefoundation of authenticity is,
you know, embodiment,mindfulness and being soul led.
So here we are today we'regoing to talk about mindfulness
and I'm going to get through itsort of quickly because I've
(01:31):
realized, like last week after Isigned off, oh so much started
pouring in.
Don't worry, I took notes andthat tends to happen once I
really start, even though I'vebeen thinking about it and
mulling it around.
Once I actually start recordingand talking about a subject,
more starts coming in.
So what I think I'm going to dois create this into some sort
(01:52):
of free program so that the bulkof the information is in there.
So we're getting the highlightshere of the podcast and if you
want to know more and you wantto dive deeper into it, that
that's an option as well.
So I'm working on that.
So I tried to condense this alittle bit.
It'll be a little shorterprobably than last week if I
(02:13):
stop talking and get to it.
So what is mindfulness?
Mindfulness, it means beingintentionally aware and engaged
in the present moment, or, as somany people call it, being
present, being right here, rightnow, with acceptance and
without judgment.
That's such a.
(02:33):
Both of those two pieces arepivotal in mindfulness, because
it literally is like about notresisting what's happening in
the moment.
So that's where the acceptancepiece comes in and without
judgment of what's happening.
In that we are being mindful.
It's not about stopping yourthoughts and feelings at all.
(02:57):
It's about stepping back andobserving them, letting them
come and go.
If your mind wanders, gentlybringing it back to the present
Again, without judgment, notlike there I go again, but ooh,
there was a thought.
Let's come back to the present,and this happens with practice.
For me, personally, I feel likemindfulness is.
It shows up, like slowing down,tuning into everything.
(03:20):
That's not your thoughts, likeyour, all of your other senses
and feelings and everything elsethat's around us, so that you
can observe your thoughts, likeall of your other senses and
feelings and everything elsethat's around us, so that you
can observe your thoughts likesee your thoughts as the
observer, rather to be consumedby them.
It's about being mindful ofyour environment and any
resistance to it, mindful ofyour emotions rising and falling
(03:41):
.
Mindful of your senses withoutanalyzing them, of your emotions
rising and falling.
Mindful of your senses withoutanalyzing them.
Mindful of wanting to besomewhere else, wishing time
away or the urge to lash out infrustration.
Focusing on the present moment,tuning into physical sensations
, being aware of everything thatyou do and letting go of
thoughts about the future orpast.
I know it sounds so simple,right, but don't worry, we're
(04:06):
gonna get into it.
So, yeah, like being aware ofwhat you do.
This for me it shows up in suchinteresting ways is one way I
was really thinking about is inmy newborn sessions.
Anyone who knows me knows thatI'm also a professional
photographer and I photographnewborn babies much of the time
(04:27):
and with the babies I really tryto be baby led.
I really am baby led, and whichmeans not having a goal, a
specific goal of what I'm tryingto accomplish from that session
, but knowing what I'm capableof doing and then meeting that
baby where they're at andproducing something really
beautiful, you know, meetingtheir capabilities with my
(04:49):
capabilities.
So I don't go in with like ashot list like many people do.
I'll set up sets and make itcute, you know, have things
planned out, but so many peoplecome in with a shot list,
they're on it, they get it done.
I respect those people.
They get their sessions done somuch more quickly, but I'm very
mindful about things.
This is something that has builtin me over years and years this
(05:12):
awareness of being present, andso I've really plus, I think
being neurodivergent reallyhelps me to like zoom in, and so
I feel like it's really justbecome a regular part of my life
and, like in the newbornsessions, that looks like me
just moving really slowly, melistening to the baby's
(05:32):
movements and energy andreactions and working with that
and instead of just trying torush rush into another thing,
I'm moving my hand very slowlyand gently when I'm touching the
baby.
I'm not just like touching thefabric gently when I'm touching
the baby, I'm not just liketouching the fabric or moving
something out of the way.
I'm literally using my energyto feel that baby's energy.
I'm tuning in.
(05:53):
As I say this, I realized thatI probably developed a lot of
this like touch mindfulness frombeing a massage therapist,
which I was a long, long timeago in one of my many lifetimes.
But yeah, like really juststopping and slowing down when
I'm with that baby, I'm lookingat all the little hairs on their
ear and I'm looking at theirlittle hairs on their shoulder
(06:16):
and where the skin is peelingoff and if they're getting a
little splotchy mark, that'sletting me know that maybe
they're getting a little hot inone area or the other.
Just like really just tuning in, like zeroing in on that baby I
don't know if you've seen inlike the movies, like when they
show like flies or an insect,like visioning.
(06:37):
It's like everything else getsquiet and then they just like
zone in on the thing.
That's what mindfulness lookslike in practice.
For me that's like it's justreally just tuning out
everything else and focusing inon the present experience.
You know, it's not going tohappen overnight.
(06:58):
For one being aware, awarenessbrings mindfulness right.
So when we become aware ofsomething, then oftentimes you
know, especially if we livemindfully, we it just becomes.
You know, it went from oursubconscious into our conscious
awareness and then we becomemindful of it.
I was, I used to work with thisguy.
He did it's called Zen therapy.
(07:19):
There's nothing Zen about it.
It's the most painful thingI've ever experienced, but it
worked.
He was a real, he's a bodyworker.
I wouldn't call it massagebecause that would be very
misleading or chiropractic, it'ssome torturous something
incorporating them both, I guess.
But he had learned it in amonastery.
He was a monk for more than 20years and he did this thing
(07:42):
called Zen therapy and it worked.
It was very painful, not Zentherapy, and it worked.
It was very painful, not Zen,but it worked.
And he said something to me, youknow.
He said oh, you're really rightside dominant, which totally
made sense.
At the time I was very much inmy masculine energy, which is
represented by the right side ofthe body, and I'm like, yeah,
that makes sense.
(08:02):
And I'm like, well, what can Ido about it?
And he said nothing you willautomatically do something about
it.
Now that you're aware of it,and I was like, oh, okay, that
makes sense and it's true.
Actually, the next time I wentand saw him which he's not
someone you go see often, sothis is probably a year later
you really went once when youwere in desperate need, would
(08:23):
fix whatever it was, and thenyou didn't go back unless you
absolutely had to.
I speak of him in past tensebecause I'm pretty sure he's
retired now, but maybe not, Idon't know, I'm too afraid to
find out but he then, the nexttime I went to see him, he was
like, oh, your left side isreally tight, you know, and he
(08:44):
was talking about thesedifferent places where I had a
lot of tension in my left side.
He was like you were overdoingit, you were trying too hard,
and he was right.
I have been making a verymindful effort of using my left
side, which I guess was a littlebit of an overuse, but that's
mindfulness.
You know, once it becomes inour awareness and we hold it in
(09:05):
our awareness, then we practicemindfulness around it.
So it can look like our makingspace for mindfulness in your
day to day can be like noticingwhen your mind is escaping the
present, like if you're doingsomething and then you start
thinking about something thathappened in the past and like
ruminating.
Or you're working on somethingand then you like go into oh,
(09:26):
what am I going to eat when Iget off work, or what am I going
to do next week, or what am Igoing to wear to this thing, and
you get into the present, thenyou're escaping I mean into the
future, then you're escaping thepresent moment.
So just kind of noticing whenyour mind wants to escape the
present.
A lot of times it happens whenwe are uncomfortable because we
(09:46):
have been trained, like I spokeon last week.
If you haven't listened to lastweek's episode on embodiment,
please do this.
Will all make a lot more sense.
But when I was speaking lastweek on embodiment, that was the
thing.
It's like we're trained toavoid discomfort.
That was the thing is likewe're trained to avoid
discomfort.
That's kind of how ourenvironment and our society has
(10:08):
conditioned us that discomfortis a bad thing when it really
isn't.
Again, go back to that episodeand you'll understand.
And so when our mind getsuncomfortable or when we're, a
lot of times when we're actuallyaccomplishing something that we
care about or we're doingsomething that we don't care
about, our mind will escapediscomfort by going into a past
(10:28):
or a future tense, thinkingabout something that's not
actually happening in thatpresent moment.
Making space for mindfulness canlook like being aware of your
reactions to stimuli, like whensomebody jumps out in front of
my car driving down BaldwinAvenue.
I'm laughing because I realized, like I don't even know.
(10:50):
I mentioned Baldwin Avenue andHana Highway intersection in
Paia often because it was reallythe bane of my existence but
also couldn't live without itand everything in that
intersection.
But that's where Mana Foods is.
But going down Baldwin and somepedestrian jumps out in front
of my car, you know I'm gonnalike really get enraged and very
(11:11):
upset about it because deepdown I'm concerned.
I'm concerned for their safety.
I'm concerned because I almosthit them and it scared me.
But you know, that doesn't meanthat's bad, that doesn't mean I
shouldn't react in that way,but just me being aware of it,
you know, which automaticallybrings me back into the present,
as you can see, I'm laughingand I'll do that.
I'll be like, ah, so angry at adriver and within seconds I'm
(11:35):
like laughing at myself becauseI'm like, I'm really not mad
about that, this is just areaction, and even if I was mad
about it, it would be okay.
The mindfulness is thatawareness of it, right, and so
I'm not stuck in this likemoment of enraged, you know.
Instead, I'm the observer of itand I see that and I'm like, oh
, melissa, you really don't likethis intersection, do you babe?
(11:57):
And it makes me laugh and makesme appreciate myself on another
level.
So, and that's you know kind ofhow it plays out.
You know, like a big part ofwhat I am doing with this
podcast is untangling and withmy book is untangling beliefs,
you know, that were given us,these beliefs, that of
(12:17):
perfection and productivity,that keep us kind of stuck in
our thoughts and kind of in thiscycle that keeps us stuck Doing
(12:41):
things for the enjoyment, withno goal.
That is a beautiful way ofbeing mindful, like when I'm
doing arts and crafts, or I'mdoodling, or I'm sitting on the
beach, making designs with um,coral and shells, whatever it is
like, just doing it for theenjoyment.
I'm not going to sell it toanybody, I'm not going to take a
(13:02):
picture of it, I'm it'sprobably not even going to look
pretty, but I, I just enjoy it.
Like that's.
That's mindfulness in everydaylife, right?
Speaking your truth, speakingyour truth so that it doesn't
consume your mind, because ifyou don't let those thoughts out
, they're going to stay in andthey're just going to circulate
(13:22):
and take over your thoughts,which takes you out of the
present, right?
So that's what's so importantand this is one of the ways that
it really really deeply tiesinto authenticity.
It's because, when we speak,you know the truth.
Your truth is your truth,whether you're embarrassed by it
, whether there are other peoplelike it or not, whatever the
situation, it's still your truth.
(13:42):
So why not let it out, right,like other people are letting
theirs out?
This is not like a newphenomenon.
I'm speaking to the peoplepleasers out there.
Let it out Like say what youmean, mean what you say, right,
speak your truth and that's youknow.
If somebody does something thatdoesn't feel good, you know, say
(14:04):
it in the moment.
If you think about it, and ifyou don't say it later, if you
need to to get it off your mind,it in the moment, if you think
about it, and if you don't sayit later, if you need to to get
it off your mind.
But you know, somebody sayssomething that's harsh or
doesn't feel just and you couldsay that, like that hurt my
feelings, or what did you meanby that?
Or one of my favorites is whatwere you trying to accomplish by
that?
Because that really gets downto the root of the compliment.
You know, and sometimessomebody could be trying to pay
(14:26):
us a compliment and it soundslike an insult.
Or sometimes they're insultingus and they don't realize that
they're being passive,aggressive.
Asking that question can reallyget down to the core of you know
.
It brings mindfulness to whatwe're saying.
So speak your truths.
If you don't like something,say it, say it.
It's the truth anyway.
(14:46):
Not saying it isn't making itgo away, it's not making it less
true, it's only festering.
I promise feeling your emotionsfully.
Mindfulness can look like that,like if you're feeling something
like me and the rage in the car, like sure I could probably
(15:06):
control it.
I'm sure I could, because I'mreally usually not even angry
Again.
It just scares me.
But I, you know, feel thoseemotions.
I let them out.
I scream and I'm, you know, Ilet it all out.
I feel it fully and that'sbeing mindful, you know, of how
we're feeling and being, in ouremotions.
(15:28):
We can be mindful, the same asembodiment, like resting when
needed, just by being embodied.
So many of these things you'llsee with this conversation and
with the next one on being soulled, that they are really
intertwined and that's not acoincidence.
I'll get into more of it later,but that's like the unity part.
That's what the body, mind,spirit is the embodiment, the
(15:49):
mindfulness and being soul led.
It is a unity.
All of it works in harmony tocreate, you know, this unity
within us.
So they're going to overlap.
Mindfulness and embodiment canlook exactly the same.
It can look exactly the same asbeing soul led, because they
are.
It's just like different sidesof the same coin.
It can look exactly the same asbeing soul-led, because they
(16:09):
are.
It's just like different sidesof the same coin.
You know, oh, what doesmindfulness look like in
practice?
Y'all, I actually took notes.
Can you tell that?
I'm actually like focusing andstaying on subject.
Let me know what you think.
Let me know if you like itbetter when I'm like intuitively
rambling, or let me know if youlike it when I intuitively
(16:29):
ramble to my notes app and thenorganize it in a way that comes
out cohesively in the podcast.
I'm hoping that this helps mekeep it shorter to make it
easier listening, and maybe I'mtalking too fast, I don't know.
Let me know, guys, I'm here foryour feedback.
Let me know.
As long as it's kind, like bekind.
It doesn't have to be somethingI want to hear, but say it with
kindness, please, or at leastneutrality.
(16:52):
Oh, what does mindfulness looklike in practice?
It means listening to someonewithout being in your head
thinking about how you're goingto respond to them when they
finish talking.
That wasn't judgment.
That wasn't judgment.
I know it may have soundedjudgy, it wasn't so.
(17:13):
Many of us do this.
It's such a common practice anda lot of us it's just because
we want to be engaged and wewant to say the right thing or
we have our own.
You know, social anxiety thatwe're dealing with for whatever
reason.
That we're dealing with forwhatever reason.
This is something I feel likeour whole humanity would elevate
(17:33):
if we could be more mindfuljust around this one thing,
which is, when you're inconversation with someone,
listening, being mindful, beingpresent to what they're saying,
to how they're feeling whilethey're saying it, sure, but be
present with them as they'respeaking and not in your
thoughts about what you're goingto say when they finish
(17:54):
speaking, about how you're goingto respond or how you disagree
or whatever.
Just listen.
Just listen and hold space.
Trust me, your thoughts will bewaiting for you when they
finish their sentence.
I promise they don't goanywhere.
Trust me, I've tried, they'restill going to be there.
I can also look like doing tasksslowly and intentionally, which
(18:16):
helps us to avoid mistakes andsavor the experience.
This is like when, like I wastalking about, with the newborn
photography, you know, orsometimes when I'm cleaning my
house.
Sure, I could like bust throughit, bam and get it done and
(18:37):
whatever, but I actually enjoyit when I take time and like
really get into the nooks andcrannies and reorganize and wipe
down all the parts.
And you know, the last time Icleaned my bathroom, I was so
excited, I actually even cleanedthe walls and ceilings, y'all.
I cleaned the walls andceilings, not just knocked down
spiderwebs, I actually cleanedthe walls and ceilings because I
(18:57):
enjoyed it.
I was really being mindful andit was.
My bathroom was built out brandnew when I moved in a year ago
and I want to keep it brand new.
The same with my kitchen.
I want to honor what thelandlord has invested into the
place but also, like I lovehaving new stuff.
So I'm going to keep it as newand clean and pretty as I want
(19:17):
it.
So it was my intention to go inthe bathroom it had been a year
and give it a reset and make itlike it was brand new again.
And I did.
I enjoyed that.
It didn't feel like a chorebecause I really took my time.
I took my time and went throughmy medicine cabinet and wiped
down all the shelves and tookout what I didn't need.
You know, I did the whole thingbut it wasn't a chore because I
(19:39):
was doing it mindfully andthat's the beauty of it.
It's like, really, when we startdoing things mindfully, we
enjoy it.
Not necessarily because I enjoycleaning my bathroom.
I freaking hate cleaning mybathroom.
It is normally one of my leastfavorite things to do.
But that's the beauty ofmindfulness is that we bring
presence into what we're doing,whatever it is that we're doing,
(20:01):
it makes it more enjoyable,because what's happening is
we're enjoying the experience ofbeing alive, we're enjoying the
experience of experience, we'reenjoying the experience of our
senses, we're enjoying theexperience of our body's ability
(20:22):
to move and to understand andto process information.
It's really an opportunity forour soul, for that larger,
broader perspective that I wastalking about last week.
It's an opportunity for thatbroader perspective to enjoy
being human.
Y'all that just came to mewhile I was talking.
That wasn't in the notes, soyou're welcome.
Okay, listening without we didthat one.
(20:46):
Be aware of how your wordsimpact others.
Thinking before you speak it'sa classic example of being
mindful.
It's something that we've heardour whole lives.
Hopefully that we do.
We have held on to that bit ofmindfulness in society thinking
before you speak and again,that's just being in the present
moment and being like, oh, I'mabout to say this thing, but
(21:09):
this person's over here thatthat could trigger this other
thing that they're dealing withright now and come out the wrong
way.
That could be hurtful for them.
So I'm actually not going tosay it like that, or I could use
these wordings, but thatdoesn't feel aligned with what
I'm saying.
So let me take my time and saythis in a way that's going to be
effective and that's not goingto trigger, but it's going to
(21:30):
actually communicate Thinkingbefore you speak.
That is.
It is, I think, the number oneway that we've all heard the
most ever about being mindful.
It just wasn't necessarilycalled that, so I'll stop
rambling.
Through these practices, youtrain your mind for its true
purpose.
What is that true purpose?
(21:51):
It's not getting lost inthought spirals and mental noise
.
I'll tell you that much.
It's being an open and awarepresence, able to clearly
perceive the world around youand within you I'm going to say
it again and within you.
I'm going to say it again.
It's being able to clearlyperceive the world around you
(22:11):
and within you by being an openand aware presence.
That's it.
You're the presence.
You're that broader perspectiveand when you step back and
you're in that observer, you'rethe observer, you're the
presence that's observing thislife experience.
That's it, baby.
(22:33):
That's it.
(22:57):
The mind's purpose is to be afocused tool.
It's not a runaway train ofthoughts and worries.
It's a tool.
It's a tool for solvingtactical problems.
It's a tool for keeping usalive.
It's a tool for navigatingphysical situations that we're
approaching.
It's a tool to be used by younot to be confused, for you
(23:31):
rightful role as the observerand perceiver, rather than a
deluded dictator constantlynarrating what's happening and
telling you what means what andwhat to believe about yourself
and about others and about eachsituation that you're in.
With practice, the mind settles.
Thoughts come and go, but theydon't dominate you, reclaim your
inherent stillness and operatefrom a place of clarity and calm
, responding to life rather thanreacting to life.
(23:51):
This is the mind's true powerand freedom, no longer buffeted
by every passing thought, butharnessed in service of your
deepest wisdom and truth an open, receptive consciousness living
fully in this present moment.
Living fully in this presentmoment Sounds good, huh, sounds
(24:11):
good, right, right, are you in?
Do you want to know sometechniques?
You know I'm not going to tellyou you need to do it without
giving you some ways.
So here we go.
Here's some easy techniques tounderstand the practicality of
what mindfulness is Like mindfulbreathing you can like
literally stop and take breaths,but you feel the breath like in
(24:32):
your body and the sensations inyour body when you're breathing
and you feel the breath likewhen you're breathing out.
You feel the temperature of thebreath.
You feel the way that thebreath touches your skin when
you move out.
You feel your musclescontracting around your
diaphragm.
You feel you maybe smell yourbreath when you're doing it.
Like being mindful when you'rebreathing is really just tuning
(24:53):
into the act of breathing.
Mindful eating it's the samething.
It's a great way to practicemindfulness is to stop.
Oh, this was so hard for me.
Being in the service industryanybody who's been in the
service industry you know I havebartended and served for a
great deal of my life and youget these brief glimpses of
moments to eat and you work,usually pretty long shifts and
(25:15):
you're burning lots of calories,moving a lot and you don't get
a lot of time to eat.
So you really just kind of haveto like learn to inhale food
and finish a meal in like lessthan a minute.
I'm not exaggerating.
So mindful eating was great.
I'm really.
I'm still learning it, I'mstill practicing it.
I've definitely become moremindful to where it's usually
like as soon as I start eatingfast, I kind of catch myself and
(25:38):
I'm like, ooh, let me slow downand enjoy this.
But mindful eating looks likeyou know, savoring each bite of
your food, tasting it, feelinghow it feels in your mouth,
smelling it, seeing it on yourplate, like really
appreciatingating eachingredient, taking a moment to
show gratitude to the people whoprepared it, taking a moment to
feel gratitude for the peoplewho grew the food, who, for
(26:01):
everybody along the way thatmade it happen to the, where
that could be on your plate.
Feeling it in your body.
Feeling when your body is fulllike filling your body's, cues
about it, and when your body'sfull, like stopping to eat or,
if you are not sure, stoppingand giving it a few minutes and
then, if you're still hungry,you can continue to eat If
you're not stop there.
Those are ways of mindfuleating.
(26:23):
Mindful movement can look in alot of different ways.
One could just be as simple asgoing for a walk.
Go for a walk and pay attentionto your surroundings instead of
your thoughts, and if yourthoughts come, that's fine.
They're going to, but let thempass.
You don't need to get caught upin them and entertain them and
keep going into these scenariosor these thoughts, just like,
let them come and go.
(26:46):
You know, noticing, this morningI went for a walk.
I didn't sleep well last night,which is why the podcast is
probably going to publish alittle late today, because I was
up at like 4am and I decided Iwasn't able to go back to sleep
within like an hour.
So I got up and started doingthings and ate breakfast.
I went for a walk.
It was so nice.
I love going for walks beforethe world is awake, like early
(27:08):
in the mornings.
I love being out in the worldbefore the world is awake.
I don't like being awake beforedaylight, though they're two
very different things.
But I was on my walk thismorning and I looked up at this
big tree and the way that thelight was shining.
It looked like a cartoon.
It was just so like defined andcolorful and bright.
(27:30):
It was really cool.
And then I was looking at theseother trees and the sun was
starting to shine through inways that it was creating like a
star, like beams, you know,like I create with my camera
sometimes in photos.
But I noticed the differencebetween how the photos show it
and how my eyes were actuallyseeing it and enjoyed having a
(27:50):
little morning sun in my eyesand looking up at the trees.
And then I looked over and Icould see this ray of sun like
on the grass, like highlightingthe section of grass that made
it just like this really brightyellowish green color, when the
others were still kind of dullfrom the animals and noticing
(28:13):
the insects that were happeningand seeing leaves fall down from
the tree and noticing littlebeads of mist on the plants.
That was a mindful walk.
That's what mindfulness feelslike and just talking about it,
I got a little lost.
I don't even know how long Iwent on there because I was
really back in that moment,enjoying that moment.
(28:34):
It was just a little walk thismorning but gosh, it was amazing
.
It was such a beautiful,wonderful day to start my day.
That's a great example ofmindful movement.
You know mindful listening.
You could listen to soundsaround without analyzing them or
trying to figure out wherethey're coming from or whatever,
but just like letting them pass, come in and out.
(28:57):
My favorite form of mindfulnessis mindful self-compassion.
Notice when you're judgingyourself and reminding yourself
that you're human and thateveryone makes mistakes and that
it's okay, it doesn't meananything about you.
That it's okay, it doesn't meananything about you.
(29:19):
Really like, being mindful ofhow many judgments you make
about yourself throughout theday and how many beliefs you
have about yourself is such apowerful, powerful practice.
I'll keep mentioning it becauseit's so important.
Kristen Neff has done someamazing work on mindful
self-compassion.
You can look up.
She has a workbook which Irecommend to so many people, and
there's also a book, fierceSelf-Compassion.
(29:40):
Either will do, depending onyou know what medium you like to
use.
They're all going to have.
Both of them have exercisesthey all need to complete.
Mindful self-compassion is anamazing practice for
authenticity, for embodiment,for mindfulness, obviously, for
being soul-led, like it all tiesin there.
(30:01):
Such an important, important,important piece.
So, other than the pureenjoyment, if you're not already
sold, I'll let you know a fewof the benefits of mindfulness
include reduced stress andanxiety these are the proven
stuffs, y'all.
Increased focus andconcentration, improved
(30:22):
emotional regulation, greaterself-awareness and insight, an
ability to savor positiveexperiences, better sleep
Potential, relief from chronicconditions.
Those are great benefits.
There's just scratching thesurface of the benefits.
(30:42):
If anybody does this, ifanybody starts practicing this
mindfulness, please I would loveto hear from you.
You can message on social, youcan always comment on blog posts
, you can just message mepersonally, whatever, but let me
know.
I want to hear about yourexperience of mindfulness and
benefits that you areexperiencing from it or ways
(31:05):
that you're practicing it.
Maybe I'll do.
Yeah, that's what we do.
I'm going to do a post onInstagram about this episode or
about mindfulness in general,and I would love for you to come
there and leave some commentsso that I can hear about your
experience with this practice.
And, of course, coming back toauthenticity, because otherwise
it wouldn't be me, what doesmindfulness have to do with
(31:28):
authenticity?
Well, it allows intentionalaction versus being an autopilot
.
By being intentional in ouraction, it is going to be more
aligned with our internal truthrather than just acting from the
mind, just an autopilotrepeating the same motions.
By the non-judal observation.
(31:52):
It helps prevent overthinking,which lowers stress.
We talked about that one.
But without the overthinking,we can be more present in
general and be our authenticselves.
Hear our authentic selves, knowwhat that even means.
The self-awareness reveals ourcore values.
You know, the more aware webecome of our feelings about
(32:13):
things and our thoughts aboutthings and we start observing
all of this, then it gives uscues.
It's like oh, that's somethingthat's really important to me.
For me, one of my core valuesis integrity.
It's really important that if Igive my word, that I keep it
and if, for whatever reason, I'mnot able to that, I make that
right and that I keep it thenext time.
(32:33):
But always the default is goingto be if I give my word, I keep
it to myself and to others.
Integrity is one of my corevalues.
Inclusion is one of my corevalues.
I don't want to createsomething that's exclusive when
it's this important.
I don't want this brand to beexclusive.
I want this brand to includeanyone who it feels aligned with
(32:56):
.
So inclusion is one of my corevalues.
I know that from being tunedinto myself, from noticing my
own thoughts and reactions toexperiences that are happening
in my life, so thatself-awareness.
It reveals those core values toyou Tuning into the body and
being mindful of the body.
It guides our intuitive choices.
(33:17):
It helps us let go ofresistance and create openness
for our lives, for growth, foropportunity, for connection and
appreciating the present moment.
It nurtures gratitude.
It just my description of mywalk this morning, like I was
feeling so grateful for all ofthose things that exist in the
(33:38):
world, so those you knowconnections to authenticity.
It so, ultimately, you know,mindfulness anchors you in your
truth so you can listen to yourinner voice and align your life
(33:58):
with your genuine self.
It's the catalyst for livingwith integrity.
Mindfulness is just asimportant as embodiment, and
embodiment is just as importantas being soul-led, and being
soul-led is just as important asbeing soul led, and being soul
led is just as important asmindfulness.
It's imperative.
(34:19):
Ultimately, mindfulness anchorsyou in your truth so you can
listen to your inner voice andalign your life with your
genuine self.
It's a catalyst.
It's a catalyst for living in,a catalyst for living in truth,
for living in authenticity andintegrity.
(34:39):
So Does this make sense?
Is it tracking?
How do you feel?
Let me know.
I look forward to hearing fromyou all about this and, if you
want to know more, I amdeveloping something that will
share more, that will getfurther into this.
I would love to have aconversation about it.
I've been going live onInstagram on Wednesdays, so if
(35:01):
you want to join for a live Idon't give an exact time because
that's just not how I operate,but I will be there on Wednesday
, so if you want to keep an eyeout, I usually announce about an
hour or two beforehand that I'mgoing live and we can do some
question and answers on this.
You can always just type inquestions that I'll include.
I'm hoping to do a question andanswer episode before the end
(35:23):
of the season, so if you haveany questions about anything
we've talked about in the season, go ahead and start getting
those to me, please.
And yes, thank you again forbeing here, thank you, thank you
, thank you.
I am aware of your presence.
I appreciate your presence.
I appreciate your support.
If y'all keep showing up, Iwill too.
(35:43):
I love you.
Have a wonderful day and stayauthentic.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.