H!TITDS - I, Madman (1989)

Simon and Richard get hollied in right in their jollies. Please listen.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hello, Anne. It's been a long time. Stay away from me. But I fixed it, Anne. What do you mean? A clean slate.
Where's Palette?

(01:12):
hello and welcome to hello this is the doomed show i am richard ho ho ho and i'm here with simon with the shiny baubles
Is that the one they were singing on Are You Being Served? I think it's one of the songs that they did.

(01:39):
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. Welcome to your holiday episode of Hello is the Doomed Show. Simon, I am glad to hear your voice. Welcome to YouTube. I thought you said welcome to YouTube.
welcome to youtube i mean we will eventually this episode will eventually be on youtube but well thank you right now we're just recording it on our reel-to-reel tape machine because we are anal log boys

(02:04):
The pulp novelization will be forthcoming next year, I think. Oh, man. Just in time for Christmas, of course. Was it called They Bulge by Night? Yes.
They bulge by what time is it over here? 16 minutes past four in the afternoon. It's always 14, 20, nowhere.

(02:25):
Folks, welcome to this Christmassy, juicy, juicy Christmas episode with a movie that barely has Christmas in it called I, Madman from 1989, or as I've been calling it, I, Bradman. Love it.
This is from, and I'm going to mess up his name. I heard them say it in the interviews, but Tybor Takix. I think the C is, I'm trying to remember. I think the C is silent. Takix, yeah.

(02:54):
He directed this and it was written by David Chaskin, who's a person who has been mentioned, I believe, in our Nightmare on Elm Street episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We wanted to do something Christmassy. And of course I thought of the movie that has the Christmas and I love hidden Christmas in movies, which means we watch it every year. Leah and I watch it every year now for this season.

(03:20):
We're going to spoil this. This is a horror movie with a plot, and we are going to talk about it. So don't get spoiled. Watch it first. Here is the wonderful trailer. I have an opinion about this trailer, and we will talk about it.
after it plays here comes the trailer they say that if you want to escape reality all you really have to do is pick up a good book why don't we just take it from the top okay

(03:50):
I started with the boss. One minute I was reading about him, and the next minute he was standing right next to me. But when the escape becomes an obsession...
I can't stop it. It is the return to reality that becomes the challenge. Why would anybody do such a thing?

(04:17):
Because he thinks that it will please me. Lonely. What is happening to you? Damn it, Richard. Listen to me. I'm telling you. There's going to be another tilling tonight.
You can't stake out every building and it's based on some cryptic passage from a 30-year-old novel. Just read the book picture, please. It will not be.

(04:45):
I, Madman, read any good books lately? So, Simon, here's what I thought as Aliyah and I were going through the Blu-ray after we watched the movie and, you know, watching some stuff about it.
I decided to watch the video trailer on the disc. Oh, I have a thought about that. Let's just say the 3x4 framing made me very aware of what this felt like when you change its aspect ratio.

(05:12):
Interesting. It suddenly becomes Twin Peaks to me. Ah, yeah, that, you know, I did actually think watching this, because the vintage, this would have been the same year, I guess, that was shot, and all the sort of 50s by way of late 80s, lots of.
The noir vibes. Yeah, totally. So yeah, if somebody wanted to have a little fun, take some scenes from this movie and sub the music out for some Angelo Battle of Menti.

(05:36):
I bet it would feel very, very Twin Peaks. And not even the 50s flashback, or not flashback, the flashes of the novel that takes place in the 50s. I mean, just the main lady and the guy hanging out and talking.
I think she seems like a Lynch kind of gal.
She really does. Yeah, totally. So before I forget, while you mentioned the video trailer, I had a note and I was up at some insane time sort of watching this. I was getting a bit goofy. I have another thing where I crack myself up.

(06:07):
which I'll come to later, that's just completely stupid.
Anyway, so with this video trailer, there's a line and it says, read any good books lately? Which instantly, in an almost borderline sort of traumatic way, made me flash back to being a, I guess, a teenager when these like local neighbourhoods.
fucking bozos who one of them
And to be fair to him, he was not like, he was more like one of the henchmen of the, not really bully sort of borderline. He just liked to take the piss of it. And his one line whenever he'd see me, because I think sometimes he saw me coming in or out of the library was, hey, Simon, read any good books lately?

(06:41):
Like this was some kind of sick burn. What a slam, bro. Patsy Hoytman, geez. You had to read in secret. You'd have like pieces of pages and you just click.
peek at them, then eat them. Oh, no one catch me. No one catch me. This is a nice plot on the back of the VHS tape. This is the media home entertainment. It is too long.

(07:09):
folks i you know sometimes i perform these freaking plots and i just don't know let's not do this so here's the uh the one sentence uh plot from uh good oh my god i'm sorry folks this is two sentences from imdb
A bookshop clerk and wannabe actress starts seeing the disfigured killer from her 1950s pulp novels come to life and start killing people around her. She tries to convince her cop boyfriend, but to no avail.

(07:37):
Yeah. Let's see. But I will do this part. 90 minutes. Color from the tape. Yes. I just found I'd never seen this before. The UK VHS, which was released over here under the hardcover title. Oh, yeah.
her have you seen that it's got her um well or somebody you know it's meant to be her looking in a book and there's like hands coming out of it and light yeah i like that that's cool man that's freaking cool I didn't even hear about this movie well out of the 80s until the MGM DVD.

(08:09):
That was my first, like, I've never heard of this. Same, really. I mean, it was one that we used to have an MGM film channel over here, and so many things are in their catalog. This would be about, I don't know, 10, 15 years ago now when I used to watch a lot more.
things taped off the tv and they were great for watching stuff like that and uh maybe like terror vision and like old cormann poe movies and lovecraft on like diamonds to die and just all sorts of weird collecting stuff that's in their uh in their catalog and that was

(08:38):
That was one that always stuck out to me, this was. I'm going to send you a poster that I just saw just now for the first time. This is pretty cool. I like this one. It gives it a different feel.
We'll come to this later about the reception abroad, because it seemed like it didn't do great. Ah, yes. Have I seen this one? The background looks familiar, but this weird... Oh, my word. How can a dead man touch you? Isn't that weird?

(09:02):
That is especially the sort of, not like triple Elvis, the Warhol thing or whatever, but it's like triple, I guess it's meant to be Virginia.
cringing with a hat to her. I can't quite know what's going on there, but that is weird. Yeah, the killer's standing behind glass, like the opaque kind of glass, and there's the triptych of her face. But then...
How could Deadman touch you? This poster is affordable, dude. You could get this for freaking 40 bucks over here. Nice. That's crazy. I'd buy that if I had any room to put anything up. Oh my God, that's crazy. I've been very good. Every time I see a...

(09:36):
a poster for cheap i really take a minute and talk myself out of it because it's just i would i have to put it and hide it inside a frame behind something else so yes i have lots of poster storage hanging on my walls
fair enough i i haven't even i've been tempted but i haven't even gone there yet or like for collecting vhs because i'm already just dude why not just from movies and books and records alone but yeah you know never say never and maybe just get the other one that's like really i don't know special to me or whatever

(10:05):
The main characters here, before we jump into the plot, let's talk about some of this cast. Oh, we could talk about the director and the writer first. Hey, good old Tybor. He directed a favorite of mine from my childhood called The Gate.
Love it. Wow. Just wow. And he came back for the sequel, right?

(10:25):
yeah i think i told you i yeah i watched that recently and um there is as i said to you there's a amazingly it was i think it was like a 6k scan or something of a five millimeter print that's out there that it really looks beautiful and um
yeah uh amazing that of all um because he's well he's done i see only he's got like 50 uh directorial credits i think for the films he's probably best known for which would be the two gate films and this i'm guessing or at least to people you know genre fans

(10:54):
That was the one that currently probably has the best, well, I don't know, the Scream Factory, the Blu-ray for this, that looks great. I have a Vestron one for the first game, but yeah, the fact that...
of all three of those the game too is like yeah fuck you both 4k oh 6k okay the only other thing of his i've seen his

(11:18):
uh made for tv movie the sabrina the teenage witch i was going to ask you about that yeah 1996 one that led to the show nice and then he ended up just doing one episode of the show but i want to see these i want to see
There's two movies of his I must see. He did one called Killer Rats that looks freaking awesome. Oh my God, Ron Perlman. Oh boy, he was slumming it.

(11:47):
That was 2003. And then in 2005, he did Mosquito Man. How that title jumped at me, too. Which I am shocked. Corin Nemec. Oh, boy.
I need, dude, I need to, I bet these are on Tubi. Speaking of Tubi, we were talking about that channel before. But yeah, so the writer, David Chaskin, he gave the world.

(12:14):
He wrote Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Freddy's Revenge. Oh, yes. Beautiful, beautiful. He also wrote The Curse, which is an interesting movie.
but a very problematic movie. And I don't even like to use that word. But of course, many years later, I'm pretty sure it was this one.

(12:38):
because i don't think will wheaton was in the sequels i did have a chance to read the um and uh for anybody interested in this uh in the vangoria archives i think it's vangoria 80.
There's a four-page article about this with Tibor... God, I can't say that. Tibor Takis and David Chaskin.
And they do mention, I don't really should mention this now or later, just while I'm thinking about it, whatever, a quote that just made me laugh to do with his experience on Nightmare 2 versus this.

(13:09):
I'll just read the sort of whole paragraph, including the quotes. So Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy's Revenge, Cheskin's first produced screenplay, has also been criticised by hardcore horror fans. Quote, there's a lack of intensity in Nightmare 2, he admits.
A big difference between I, Madman and my two earlier scripts doesn't lie in the scripts, it lies in the directors. Tiba Takas is a director who likes horror movies. Nightmare 2 director Jack Shoulder admittedly doesn't like horror movies. And David Keith wants to be Woody Allen.

(13:36):
That's why the curse and nightmare two are less intense in the scripts. Wow. Wow. No, that's freaking ridiculous. Um, but will Wheaton, um, has come out and saying that he and his sister were absolutely terrorized.
As child actors, they were not taken care of on this set. They felt very, very pressured to do everything. And there was a lot of uncomfortable.

(14:04):
Just like bad shooting conditions where the kids were just like cold and dirty and it was just awful. And then they were being yelled at and just treated less than human. And so he says it was quite traumatic for the both of them that that shoot.
And of course, you know, Fulci being a producer and being on, being on set doing some effects, which is how I think it worked. I think.

(14:28):
He would never resist yelling at a person, you know, treating somebody like shit. But yes, we'll come back to some more of the behind the scenes people, but the in front of the scenes people.
Man, oh man, we've got Jenny Wright as Virginia. No relation, I hasten to add. Although, you know, the shared namesake, it doesn't mean when I watch this I can pretend we're married. She's your American cousin. Exactly.

(14:53):
She was in Near Dark, 1987. She had a small, small part in Pink Floyd's The Wall as a young groupie. I haven't seen that in years. Yeah, I've seen that once and that might have been enough.
she showed up in twister not that twister a different twister oh and um wow you know i thought her career was way bigger than this

(15:17):
No, there's something I feel like you've mentioned to me before, possibly maybe not in the most glowing terms, The World According to God, playing somebody called Cushy. Wowie, wow, wow. She might have been the kid, 82. Oh, right, okay.
Or, yeah, one of the teenage children. A film I've seen once and I enjoyed, although I kind of forgot about The Wildlife, which is a kind of almost sub-John Hughes sort of...

(15:42):
I was going to rent that. I wanted to watch that. I should give that a whirl.
Yeah, you know, it was okay. And again, I couldn't really, having only seen one's past judgment on it, I didn't dislike it. I just didn't really stick in my memory. A film I have only seen once, and I fucking hated, I think we may have talked about this before, St. Elmo's Fire.
Oh, I will never watch that. I caught a few minutes of that on cable and said, this is not for me. I am not the only one to say this. When people have been asked questions, what are films that could be improved by if they turned into a slasher movie halfway through? Definitely.

(16:14):
I'm going to say this and people are going to be so pissed, but I don't care. I feel that way about fast times at Ridgemont High.
yeah i know like that those people are likable i'm not saying they're not likable characters some assholes in that movie but i just find that movie so depressing and just like oh it's so funny i'm like that movie makes me want to fucking slit my wrists what are you talking about

(16:37):
I know exactly what you're talking about. She was also in good old Lawnmower Man, the movie that Stephen King sued the shit out of and rightfully so. Hilarious.
She plays Virginia. She's our book clerk slash aspiring actress. She is beyond.
gorgeous in this movie. The cameraman and the director and her costumer all conspired to make her so gorgeous that my eyes were sweating.

(17:06):
Well, it's funny you say that. One of my first notes in here was like, phew, is it hot in it? You know, when she sat in her little cozy book nook. Wow, wow, wow. I think I've said this to you before, but...
It's curious she's called Virginia, because I always thought this would make a great double feature. I may have done it before. I can't remember it with Candyman. Dude, yes, absolutely. Why not? Yeah, do Candyman first, then Lighten, though.

(17:29):
Lighten the mood with this one. Her boyfriend is Richard. Yes, relation. He's played by Clayton Rohnert, who I love this guy. Oh, my God.
He was in one of my favorite slashers of all time, April Fool's Day. Love it. He's just so charming. He's very funny in the interviews about working with...

(17:53):
with jenny right like man she's she's got a great figure can i say that i mean she's hot like really hot you know bless his heart yes but what a career good god this guy is amazing
Looks like he's got something coming up soon. But yeah, he's got 87 credits between TV and...
Something that jumped out on me, which I didn't, you know, well, for starters, I didn't connect for years that he was also on April Fool's Day, maybe because of the type that he's playing a copier or whatever. I don't know.

(18:24):
Another thing I didn't think I realised that he was in, he was in a great episode of season six of The X-Files called The Rain King, which is a real just fun, feel good episode.
Nice. Well, I think he's playing, I forget whether he's meant to be a con man or not. Yeah, who can control the rain. Ah, yeah, it is him. Yeah, he's playing the guy. But yeah, that's a great episode. He showed up in The Relic.

(18:48):
Simon and I were talking about movies that are too dark and everyone accuses these new horror movies of all being too dark. Man, The Relic, 1987, that shit dark. That is a too dark movie. I'm sorry.
He was in, I was a teenage where skunk from 2016. Oh my God. He's in the human centipede three. What?

(19:12):
Oh, he's in a movie that I've been meaning to watch for years. Maybe I'll get to it this year. Is Nightwish from 1989.
this is a let's see horror sci-fi body horror movie oh no no i thought i'd seen this but it just the poster looks very similar to i think well at a glance um before you zoom in on the thumbnail it reminded me of the one moon trap maybe so

(19:34):
Sure, sure. Yeah, but this is Brian Thompson and Robert Tessier. Oh man, I need to get on to this one because I've seen the trailer for it before and I keep meaning to watch it.
Stills and photos are really interesting. Yeah, Nightwish. But yeah, he's also in Destroyer, which was pretty fun. I think I've seen that. After I give my opinion on it, I say I think I've seen that.

(20:00):
No, I have not seen Destroyer. Oh, this looks great. 1988. This looks freaking wild. I've definitely never seen this. I was mixing it up with the movie that wasn't really a house movie. It's supposed to be House 3.
Oh, right, yeah. The horror show? It's because the guy on the cover, the monster on the cover of the jackhammer-wielding monster, and it's not a euphemism, reminds me of Brian James.

(20:28):
And Brian of course is fricking amazing, but yes, I need to watch two movies now. So destroyer and night wish to get my, my, uh, Clayton Roner fixed. But yes, he's, he's her, he's her skeptical cop boyfriend. He's great.
Next up is Randall William Cook, a very interesting guy. He plays our killer, Dr. Alan Kessler, and the titular I, Bradman.

(20:54):
Sorry, he's a visual effects guy. He's less known as an actor. But he certainly brings it in this one. Oh, my goodness. Oh, he's uncredited as a cave thrall in the first Lord of the Rings film. Nice. Nice. Aren't we all?
But yeah, he did the special effects in this movie, the stop motion stuff we'll talk about later. And of course he did his own makeup. He had a pal, another makeup artist, helping him out.

(21:18):
But yeah, the very, very intimidating and grotesque and beautiful killer's makeup in this is mostly his creation. And there's a funny thing in the...
the interviews where he met a plastic surgeon. Oh yeah. Is asking him like, wow, good job on that makeup there. Uh, did you, what did you use as reference photos? He's like,

(21:42):
Oh, nothing. Just use my imagination. Because, you know, that's kind of what it looks like when you cut somebody's nose off. He's like, what? Crazy enough. Please, please don't talk to me anymore. Give me another cocktail, please.
Stephanie Hodge, who plays Mona. She's Virginia's pal at the store. I definitely don't recognize her from anything else. I've seen her in a TV episode, but I didn't remember.

(22:10):
her character at all no i think um i forget who oh i think it was david chaskin said she was a stand-up and he had seen her stand up so he's very happy
come into this and be delivering her uh his lines with with gusto and just kind of stealing the scenes really nice i wonder if she was on a there's a show i used to watch religiously as a kid speaking of stand-up comedy

(22:33):
No, VH1 had a stand-up comedy show for years, and I was obsessed with that show, and I would never miss it, but she did not appear on that. But I watched a lot of stand-up comedy back in the day, so I might have seen her.
yeah she plays mona mona's very brassy fun no nonsense kind of gal who's uh terminally single uh looking for a man who's a good joke where she's

(23:01):
The chances of her meeting a handsome guy in a used bookstore is better than meeting an intelligent person at a singles bar. And then they have a joke where this big old sweaty nerd walks in. Hey, Mona.
hey don't you go marry that guy he's beautiful uh next up is uh oh here's a name michelle foes and maya

(23:27):
I'm not going to say that again. She plays Colette, the actress. She's the one that – Oh, the redhead. Yeah, the redhead who they're all – her and her acting buddy are jealous of because she keeps getting –
acting gigs and she keeps getting uh all of the attention by the the teacher but uh she didn't work a lot this actress this is the only thing i've ever seen her in uh but she's kind of the most like she's

(23:54):
this happy go lucky. They don't really invest a lot of time in her character. No. And then she's like out of there. So which one is, cause I don't want to go through everybody here.
Um, unless there's some people that stand out to you. Um, let me see. Who's her buddy that she like does the acting stuff with? Is that Lenny? Is that his name? Yeah. Steven Memel. Oh.

(24:18):
Okay, not Michael, I was going to say. I think, I'm pretty sure anyway, I could be wrong. He's not in it for a massive amount of time. Yeah, he just sticks out as a cool character. He's fun. He's obviously got a thing for her, but he's not pushy about it.
They complain about the actor together. And of course, because the I madman is a bad man, he goes after her buddy. So yeah, if anybody else comes up while we're talking here, but yeah, we're going to dive into this plot. So the movie starts.

(24:48):
with a scene of the camera pans into Santa's workshop. Oh, wait, no. I wrote in my notes, ah, Los Angeles, which translates to... wood of holly was it hollywood yeah it's funny um so yes so we got this lovely very very los angeles centric movie here

(25:13):
But we're in old timey times. It looks like the 1950s. We are in a kind of a fancy hotel. Let me say that again. A very ornate lobby in this hotel.
where the bellhop is trying to be friendly to Dr. Gordon Kessler, who's heading out for the night, but he's not very friendly.

(25:38):
And as soon as Dr. Gordon Kessler's left behind the air of evil, wherever he goes, they get a call from a tenant who's complaining about his dog raising a ruckus in the...
his hotel room. And the manager who doesn't like Dr. Kessler thinks he's a weirdo immediately grabs the keys. We're going to go check this out. I want to get this guy out of here. He's a weirdo. I fucking hate weirdos. Manager goes snooping around.

(26:06):
And it's very, very beautifully lit. This movie is so beautifully lit. Oh my God. His room is cast in these reds and there's all these like weird.
beakers everywhere and sciencey looking stuff but nothing really too medical like it almost is like kind of an alchemical thing going on and you know get some lovecraftian vibes from this stuff

(26:31):
yeah yeah and uh we'll talk more about this i'm sure but just those sort of old school sort of like almost like universal horror movies and more you know like uh going back well even like the 30s or whatever i was just curious um
Like you say, it is beautifully, beautifully shot, this film. What else is this guy? Brian England, not England, before I get confused. I'd also done...

(26:56):
Jason takes Manhattan, apparently, which I believe you like quite a bit as well. I do. It's everyone's favorite. Every single person's favorite. And The Gate 2, unsurprisingly. Oh, my mum's a werewolf.
Oh my god. Dude. Masterpiece. Still need to see it. They need to put that on Blue. That DVD has been out of print forever. You cannot get a cheap copy of that anywhere.

(27:24):
aging vinegar syndrome or whatever oh something we have covered uh the hidden two oh nice nice the was that the rave one yes it's been a while since i've seen that
to revisit our episode. But the manager hears his quote-unquote dog in a big suitcase with air holes drilled in it, and he immediately thinks it's not a dog. He thinks it's a child.

(27:52):
So he tells the bellhop to call the cops. And then the child shows up, which is definitely not a child, but also not quite a dog and not quite a person. It's a monster. Meanwhile, next door.
The sexiest neighbor that's ever existed is hearing all this. She's probably the one who called to complain about the noise. She's next door listening. Like what the hell's going on as the manager is getting ripped to shreds.

(28:19):
And then the wall bursts open and I come running through and awkwardly compliment her nightgown. You know people are filming you right now, right? We can see everything.
monster comes bursting through and then we pull back and it is a book. It's our Virginia. She's put herself in the character's shoes while reading the book.

(28:45):
which is called Much of Madness, More of Madman-ness. No, wait. What is it called? Much of... Much of Madness, More of Sin. Oh, thank you. I think. More of Kisses.
I don't know. I can't remember. This is Virginia and she's dressed even more scantily in her real life. And I, again, again, I need a moment. Very lovely.

(29:13):
She's chilling in her apartment, scaring herself silly by reading these novels by herself. She has the window open and the aforementioned Piano Man. There's a... Across from where her window is, there's a little...
piano repair place and the night watchman over there takes advantage of being in a building full of pianos and he's over there playing and his window's open so she just has it open so she can listen to his soundtracking.

(29:41):
I think this was about the part already in this film where I just fell in love with it. I was thinking I'm going to look now if there isn't one already, you know, like people do these atmospheric loops on YouTube that for most.
like films that have any degree of popularity people have done them of you know like particularly stuff like lord of the rings and harry potter every locale you can think of yeah yeah yeah like music and just atmospherics well

(30:05):
um i'm just gonna look if somebody's not done one because they should just take some of the music from the rain and the lo-fi chill three-hour loop yeah that'd be badass that'd be so fun
So she's freaked out by this book and she desperately calls her boyfriend, leaves a message trying to get him to come over. And I refer to him in my notes as Dick Richard.

(30:30):
because he's a detective that's just you know but yeah i'm glad you sorry i'm glad you mentioned your namesake because i was like thinking to myself when i'm like
sat around spooking myself reading or a hokum while i'm sat in my slip and fucking panties or whatever getting all scared i wish i had a richard i could call

(30:50):
I'm just one Google meat away. Emphasis on the meat. Indeed.
But Richard, you know, he sees right through her, uh, her negligee. And I mean, he sees right through her, uh, he knows that she's scared herself with this book and, uh,
He is so judgy about her choice of reading material. It's so funny. Why do you read this crap?

(31:15):
tortured and ridiculed by the scientific establishment for his investigations into the creation of superior life forms. Noted zoologist Dr. Alan Kessler.
continues his experiments in the cloaked secrecy of his basement laboratory. Finally, after years of failure and frustration, he manages to successfully make his own seed with an egg excised from the ovaries of a jackal and plants it in the womb of a...

(31:40):
Unwitting human surrogate, a little light reading, honey. So what? Scared yourself again and lured me over with a cold beer so you wouldn't have to be alone? Honey, how can you read this crap?
I don't know. It's something. It's like potato chips. I can't stop. He asks her to describe the book to him while they make the sex act.

(32:07):
And it's, it's, it's, it's memorable. The next morning at the bookstore, we meet Mona and our pal is, she's already on the lookout for I mad man. So Simon, this is the bookstore of my dreams. Oh.
Love it. Yeah. So it is organized. There are sections. You can see them, but everywhere, everywhere are stacks of books that need to be organized. It's just, it's the most bookie bookstore that ever booked a store.

(32:35):
there was a thing that came up uh there's a japanese word for this and it actually ties to what we something we said another thing we said about inferno
I think where there's just people who are, what would you call them? Like a bibliophile, I guess, which sounds like a slur on somebody just because of the file bit, I guess. But yeah, we'll do this.
sundoku i think it's called it's a japanese word that describes a habit of acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up on red

(33:02):
And yeah, I just love seeing all that stuff. And like you said, this book story is a case in point for especially culminating in something which I think we see it early on, don't we? The book staircase.
which is just obviously a disaster waiting to happen. Hey, Simon. Yep. Read any good books lately?

(33:23):
Oh, I wish I could say more, to be honest. My attention span wasn't fucking destroyed. I do try. You do try. Hey, as long as you're trying, instead of like doing her job and unpacking this estate sale, which will come up later.
She's scrounging around for the other book by this gentleman. What is the name of? Malcolm Brand. Malcolm Brand. Thank you for picking that up. Yes, Malcolm Brand.

(33:51):
is the one who wrote much of madness, more of sin. And there's a second book called I mad man that she's looking for. And I like the line where she's like, Mona says something to the fact that like,
You sure are spending a lot of time trying to find something called I'm Madman. The fun thing with that actress on the extras was she was like, when I read for the part, I was like, oh, this is just me. I just get to be me.

(34:18):
And I think that's pretty fun. That's fun. I hope that she also wore the animal prints and the...
oh big hair and everything it's so fun i'm glad you mentioned that too because i nearly forgot when we first see it was it just me i was getting flintstones vibes oh no i was yes now that you mentioned that but i was getting peggy bundy ah yeah yeah

(34:40):
Oh, Married with Children? Thank you. All I could think of was Love and Marriage. Love and marriage. Go together like my butt and porridge. Then I feel like we step into another movie as we go to...
Virginia's extracurricular activity which is her acting classes because I guess you know it's LA and she's pretty she has to by law and she's jealous of good old Colette and they're doing this really terrible rendition of Othello

(35:07):
That's so bad. I think I just don't like that play very much. I, you know, I've watched some Shakespeare. Maybe if I saw Othello live, I might enjoy it.
It's not, you know, beside me by reputation and all the references and things over the years. It's not what I was ever, like, assigned or, you know, read off my own steam. Yeah, I definitely read it in college.

(35:30):
And we covered it very quickly. I feel like it would have been better if we'd spent a little more time on it. But her pal Lenny comes in, they talk about, they're kind of jealous of her getting all these gigs, and then...
The class is almost over, and then they call a different couple to come and do their play. And the dude's like, oh, man, we're not going to get to do our Cyrano de Bergerac. We've got a new nose and everything.

(35:54):
And he puts on the bulbous, ridiculous nose and she just laughs at him. But the important thing in this scene is that Virginia says, Oh, I could just kill her about Colette. It's like, Ooh, maybe don't.
say that yeah don't admit that publicly maybe not the best i did back at her apartment as she's walking up through her hallway to get to her apartment there's a package waiting for her and um

(36:19):
I know who delivered it, Simon. Do you want to guess who delivered it? Jeff Bezos, personally. Yes. How did you know? No, it was iMailman.
so of course she wastes no time and jumps right into uh reading i madman and we get a very um scary like very grotesque good look at our our eye madman who's been on the periphery here you know see him in the lobby but then he's got his face covered and what it is is that he's

(36:58):
in love with this woman who's rejected him. And according to Virginia in the book, she rejects him just because he's ugly. Not that he's dangerously insane.
So he has cut all of his hair off and cut his ears off and cut his nose and lips off so that he can go and look for new parts. And he calls this a clean slate. And I said.

(37:24):
how's about you trying to get on queer eye for the straight guy, bud? Cause maybe this was a little extreme. Just a bit. We have this great scene where.
We hear from the killer's perspective of hunting his hairpiece he's going to get. That's not a euphemism. I mean, it is for a scalp, but it's not a hairpiece of the other kind. He's not looking for action. You know what I mean?

(37:50):
So he's looking for some hair to replace his hair. And it's so fun. His narration is like, it's almost like a Tom Waits song or something.
gravelly voice. I love the voice of this killer. He's so cool, but he's getting a little, a little film noir kooky with his, his voiceover. It's very fun.

(38:16):
And we're back in this 50s, this 50s that never existed with all the cool cars and everybody in costume and everything. And he's picked the redhead. Of course, it's Colette. But in this book, she's got this giant.
freaking head of hair tell me about this chase scene looks like they accidentally went to the blade runner oh yeah i can see that and um yeah it's again you get in this sort of weird and through a lot of this movie this sort of weird timeless vibe um

(38:44):
you know, bits of noir, but, well, I suppose noir and horror have always sort of been a bit on the borderline. But another thing this made me think of, this whole sequence in The Chase, it made me think a bit of, I think of...
film i've only seen once and something uh particularly seen and another film which i think was very heavily inspired by it made me think very much of um that in house of wax and then later barren blood

(39:09):
and then i thought oh actually the killer in this actually give real baron blood vibes yeah oh good call yeah that's awesome i just re-watched baron blood recently man was still my sometimes it's my
second favorite bava oh wow it's like it vacillates between second and third i think it's one i often not forget about but just um because i think you push my favorite might always be kill baby kill

(39:36):
part of that because it's an early one for me but that is such a fun one and um yeah i think gets overshadowed maybe by stuff of a similar vintage yeah because it's um i don't know
it's not to say in terms of the horror stuff like lacks any impact or anything but it's more of a sort of fun almost like popcorn film almost i mean that in the best way oh yes of course yes love all that and this um oh speaking of italian horror

(40:04):
as this chase scene sort of goes on and particularly well two things sort of like um cuckoo uh flourishes that uh when uh we get into the apartment building
And there's a couple of bits in this one Virginia's apartment. I don't know whether it's the, I presume it's the lenses they use where the hallways look almost like really sort of long. Yeah. Yeah. And like, like extended. And I think it's probably after she's been.

(40:32):
you know injected with the syringe before that there's a great i don't know what like really fast like track or dolly or probably yeah more likely those in the zoom in and him into the hallway
um holding the syringe and then you know when he manages to get his foot in the door and inject to then you go into this sort of delirium you know the the uh sort of extended hallway and particularly the sort of billowing curtains is just such a great touch

(40:58):
made me think of um well it's a bit different i suppose because i think these are bed sheets and made me think of that one scene spider labyrinth oh yeah yeah um or uh speaking of everyone's favorite dracula 2000
Oh man, I know you're still need to watch that. Oh dude, it's way more fun than people give it credit for. And then it's solid. I think it's a solid film. It's got some issues, but I love it.

(41:27):
It came up, so I think he was getting ready to shoot it when I was re-listening to the commentary for Scream 3, because I think that's, was it Patrick Lussier, Craven is a long-term editor, I think he directed it. Yeah. Yeah, I need to watch it. That's good stuff.
The scariest thing here is, of course, a stranger injecting you with some frickin' crap in a syringe.

(41:50):
You know, she he manages to put his foot in the door and catch her arm and then just jabs her. And then he starts saying, OK.
I want you to count down from a hundred. Oh God. Yeah. Oh man. It's just so creepy. The countdown. Oh my God, man. Uh, let's see.
We have a very nasty scalping scene, which it leaves more to the imagination, thankfully, I think. But of course, it's going to be gruesome later when you see what he does with her scalp head.

(42:21):
I love how in the commentary, which is with, let me see if I can remember, I think it's, yeah, with T.B. Katakas and Randall William Cook, how in real life, and I can relate to this, you know, he's quite squeamish and he's just, when he's watching that bit back, he's like, even though he's the guy in the scenes.
and the effects. Oh God, I can't even watch this. I think it's brilliant. That's great. That's great. Nicky's Christmas Carol will return after these messages.

(42:46):
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We start having this reality blurring thing even more where Virginia is seeing this villain in real life and we get the nice, you know, Nightmare on Elm Street-esque.

(43:15):
reality blurring things very fun oh is this when i even know she's yeah i think it's where she's on the bus stop and yes she's uh the man's chinese theater i know so there's two things uh one i may have missed her it might come later because i noticed
I guess this was 89 as well. Throw Mama from the Train, I think is playing somewhere. Holy shit.

(43:37):
And somewhere else, maybe later or later, I forget, a film called, I was like, why do I know this title? I've not seen it, but a film called Metal Messiah, which I think was Thibautakis' directorial debut.
Oh shit. That's what metal Messiah. I thought it was a band that was going to play at the, uh, that's like a metal band. That's funny. No. Cool. Um, yeah, I have not revisited throw them off from the train. I've been kind of scared too.

(44:03):
That was one of the infamous tapes that my parents bought me when I was a kid. And I proceeded to watch that movie like 300 times. I would just have it on.
and just watch it over and over again. I just, I just want those things when you're a young kid and you don't have access to a lot of media, whatever you do have, you're going to reread or rewatch. And it was like, Oh my God.

(44:30):
absolutely oh boy that and robocop and freaking dirty rotten scoundrels blues brother just just those movies that i don't even have to watch anymore yeah i have them so ingrained
So the piano man gets killed, which sucks. He takes his ears. Apparently his lady love in the book didn't like his ears either.

(44:53):
It's kind of like a Bride of Reanimator thing where they're taking all the best parts of all these people. Frankenhooker as well, of course. So the cops get involved because, of course, Colette is really dead.
Good old Virginia literally witnessed the piano man getting killed. So now the cops are skeptical, obviously, when she starts mentioning about the book and how he came out of the book. I might have kept that part to myself.

(45:21):
But yeah, so she's got all the inside information from the book. And then she goes to meet with the sleazy publisher to try to figure out something. And this is Murray Rubin.
who plays Sidney Zite, the publisher, and this guy, Ghostbusters. Oh.

(45:46):
Ah, the man in the elevator, right. Yeah, of course. There you go. 10,000 times. Oh, and...
Yeah, his last name is Ruben, isn't it? Because he's credited in an episode of Seinfeld as Ruben, the wizard. Why does this ring a bell? What's that? The video game movie?

(46:10):
Well, yeah, it was, but, um, I'm trying to, um, season nine, Jerry goes down to Florida for his father's birthday. George tries to avoid Susan's parents. And they go, I can't, I vaguely remember. I've seen all the signs.
That's funny. I think everybody had to do their Seinfeld moment. Absolutely. Oh, speaking of something else I've seen once and did very much enjoy using Dr. Mordred. Yeah. I've been wanting to watch that.

(46:39):
Yeah, it was great. What's that one that Charles Band directed himself? Oh, yeah, him with his dad, Albert. Nice.
doctor strange but not doctor strange movies i think it lost the rights or whatever but it's fun it's yeah it's worth a watch i will absolutely watch i need to bump that up to my uh oh brian thompson again i mentioned him earlier nice you did

(47:04):
Yeah. Oh yeah. I got to watch that. I got to watch that. He's the, he's the sleazy book publisher guy who, you know, he, he thought that what's his face was crazy and he just didn't care. He just wanted, he was like, whatever. I don't.
I didn't really care what I published kind of a cigar chomping, like sleaze bag a little bit, not very helpful.

(47:27):
it's weird isn't it because he almost pretends to be so disinterested but then when he begins sort of telling the story it's obviously you know had such an impact and he delivers it just so wonderfully oh man it's awesome
You published this book as non-fiction. Both books were non-fiction. Malcolm insisted, claimed they were confessions. He was a ranting schizophrenic. Of course, nobody believed anything he said. So there's stuff in the book?

(47:54):
About what he did to himself. Oh, geez, yeah. He messed himself up pretty bad, all right. She begins to realize that Mona is in trouble and she needs to save her.
She thinks that she's going to be next because she has a beautiful lips. And I thought they're nice lips, but like, I mean, I've got some beautiful lips.

(48:21):
Christmas kisses. Okay. So, um, she's calling her, her boyfriend desperately, the police station. Uh, she gets, uh, she gets, she gets Richard blocked.
where his fellow detective is like, oh, it's a message from his crazy girlfriend. Do not tell him now. He's getting yelled at by the chief or whatever. So her message does not get to him quickly enough.

(48:50):
And she shows up at the bookstore only to find that her pal is dead. And the bookstore cat is drinking her blood, which I love.
oh there's a little i had to rewind it because i was like and i'm still not entirely sure what they were zeroing in on there's like oh that's an oh no i think it's they wanted a close-up on that which then they got this was on the commentary watching back and then the cat before it leaps away

(49:13):
And it's still having a drink. It does this little leg shake, which is so fucking cute. It's like, oh man, I stepped in this sticky crap I'm drinking. Yeah, that cat's pretty cute. I love bookstore cats.
So yes, Mona unfortunately did not make it. Oh, that's the point. Sorry, just backtracking slightly. I got confused before because...

(49:35):
uh there's the bit at the what i think is the pasadena public library all of the interiors oh shit i completely skipped that whole scene no no don't worry um but that the the whole thing at the the book where she's reading for the clues is about
the cats with the librarian, which she first thinks is the lines outside. Now, I had a look at the Pasadena Public Library and I couldn't see any lines outside. My brain, speaking of Ghostbusters, was getting confused because I was thinking of the New York Public Library, which has...

(50:04):
those outside i think quite famously yeah but um yeah i couldn't see any outside the pasadena ones i'm guessing that was either a production design or the department edition or maybe you know a composite like matt
you know some special ex wizardry um but yeah i'd have to look and apologies my notes are in a bit because i watched the commentary like two different parts uh are a bit disordered

(50:28):
But I feel like the interior might be a different library, but I can't remember. I'll have to have a look. Makes sense, yeah. I totally messed up my notes just now. When I said she tries to save her buddy, I was talking about Lenny.
That would have really been helpful if I'd picked up on his freaking name. Anyway, Lenny is gifted with a very distinguished nose. And, of course, she fails to save him from...

(50:53):
the killer and he gets his nose cut off and dies. So yes, whatever. I don't even know if he'll fix that.
Whatever. So anyway, yes. We're at the end of the movie here. After the big stakeout in the library, the woman who was supposed to be the next victim, the cop, the lady cop, was going to pose.

(51:14):
ends up fainting. She can't handle the pressure and they end up making a Virginia stand in. I love in movies when they put a civilian in danger. My favorite.
Time that happens is in the giallo called play motel. That's super sleazy one. The cop straight up tells the, the, the amateur detectives, I'm going to put you in danger. All right.

(51:41):
Like that's just how it's going to be. I need you to nearly get killed. Very funny stuff. That movie is ridiculous. If you've ever seen it. Oh my God. No, no need to get to that. It's it's okay. It's definitely.
almost porn, you know? And I think there is a, I think there isn't a triple X rated cut of that out there somewhere, but no, thanks.

(52:05):
But yes, I do love the library scene. Absolutely. But yes, now we're at the showdown in the store. She's being chased through the store by good old killer. And that's when, what happens to the stairs?
Oh, yeah. Sorry, I said this before, didn't I? So, yeah, again, you have not the staircase, but like an additional on this book ending, I suppose, by the side.

(52:29):
of just another book staircase going on like it's an accident way to happen so we get a fucking like book avalanche or rapids or river or all of the above it's like a dream it's like a dream sequence i love it
And I don't know. Well, I presume there are already a lot of different books, but I did notice during this was a lot of like, I think like National Geographics and Digest condensed books. If you've ever worked at a library, folks.

(52:58):
You've had to deal with this bullshit. But what do you mean they're not valuable? I've been collecting these for 20 years. So is everybody else, goofball. Nobody wants your freaking National Geographic. Stop it.
fucking loft insulation or something instead you're just not gonna be able to pump a shit off on anybody wallpaper uh so yeah she's struggling and she's got the the killer after her and then richard shows up he's also

(53:23):
sliding down these stairs so fun I love it we have a nice showdown and Richard just blows the guy away and of course it is
not effective because he's a supernatural being and he's choking Richard to death. And that's when she gets the idea. Oh, we need our dog. Oh. So she starts reading from the book that just is.

(53:48):
coincidentally sitting on top of a stack of books that she's trying to get under to get his gun that fell under them and she starts reading the passages about the this beast that he created that hates him and
appears we get our stop motion creature again and the beastie and it square off in this book attic thing. I forgot to mention that Mr. brand his all of his books his estate is that's the estate that this estate sale that she was supposed to be organizing the whole time oh his trunk was there

(54:30):
Of course, yeah. Love it. You think the killer has got the upper hand. He actually pulls an Inferno.
uses a random wind broken window. Ah, of course. Yeah. Like a guilty or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. To cut the thing in half. And he's like, ha ha, I'm done with that. Now I can kill you. And then crawling on its two.

(54:56):
hands the creature is like i ain't dead yet i don't need my lower half and they finally square off for the final time and our pal the killer gets blasted out the window with his own by his own beast
What happens when their gory corpses fly out the window? What happens, Sonny? It's just like a... I don't know how you describe it. Like a fucking whirlwind. Just like a gust of... Like a blast of like...

(55:22):
book pages just flying out the window it's one of those things that like just perfectly simultaneously makes absolutely no sense but makes absolute fucking perfect sense as well
Oh, man, it's just so beautiful. And you get this amazing, not quite effective effect shot of the little tiny L.A. skyline with the book pages. It almost looks like a snow globe.

(55:49):
Yeah, that's maybe what it's reminding me of, partly. It's really hard to describe. What an ending. And then, of course, Richard says to her, don't ever fucking read a horror novel again, you dumbass. No, he doesn't say that.
But she might want to take a break from horror for a while. Might be an idea. Doesn't seem to have the best effect. Again, it's like one of those, your mileage may vary with the ending. And I suppose the movie in general of whether you're going to find.

(56:16):
something like that like oh so that's it or wtf or or you're gonna find it as you know be curious to hear what you think but i personally i find it very very satisfying and then just very simple just to sort of pan away over the street and a nice sort of um
piano music whatever from before sort of returns and pan up to the uh not quite a sort of blue sky maybe a bit of blue picking through but it's weird so i'd

(56:41):
Prior to this, I'd re-watched The Gate and Gate 2 just before that, and that's pretty much exactly how the first Gate film ends. Oh, that's amazing. Nice sort of sync there. Very nice.
Oh, man. So we'll come back to how I feel about this movie in a minute, because boy, howdy, I got some stuff to say. You mentioned the cinematographer. Oh, yeah. Robert England's cousin.

(57:08):
Dude, I am so sick of IMDB. They've got some movie they're promoting right now, and it's a very animated menu thing they're trying to do, and it's slowing the whole site down.
I don't know whether I've seen it because I do have all that turned off sometimes when it plays havoc, you know, with a block can be a bit of a mixed blessing. It's so irritating. But anyway, thank you, IMD butthole, as usual.

(57:31):
But yes, this is Brian England, which of course is a misspelling. As we all know, it's England. That's where Simon lives. Yeah.
Yeah, you mentioned the cinematographer of frickin' Hidden 2 and good old Gate 2 and Friday the 13th Part 8.
I'm sorry I keep repeating everything you just said. I just can't get over my mom's a werewolf. He also shot Wicked Stepmother, which is very fun. He shot one of my more valuable DVDs, Cheerleader Camp, in 1988.

(58:04):
that's stuck on dvd yeah that's why i was yeah i didn't know it's because i just couldn't see the thumbnail but i didn't see bloody pom-poms and i was like why does that ring a bell actually
That's a great movie. I really wish that would get a new scan because that's such a fun one. We need to see that guy's butt when he moons everybody in HD, y'all. Put that in 8K in my face.

(58:29):
He also shot a really frustrating movie that I've always wanted to like more, and I think a lot of people might feel this way. Sometimes they come back. Who was that, Steve? Yeah, 1991. It's not...
terrible. It's just, I don't know. It's like just something that annoys me with it. I need to give it another watch sometime. Michael Honing did the score for this. It's a great score for this movie.

(58:54):
He did the music for The Blob in 1988. He played synth on the Galaxy of Terror soundtrack, which is a great soundtrack. Oh, my God. Oh, that's interesting. A year after that.
film not seen in years kyanis katsi composed additional music musical director because i know that's uh it's your best known as a philip glass yeah yeah yeah he did the music for class of 1999

(59:21):
Did the music for the Max Headroom show as well as The Gate. And of course, a movie that I cannot wait to watch again called The Wraith from 1986.
What a freaking blast that movie is. Love it. But yeah, I have to wonder what else these, the art director and the production designers worked on. Cause man, that's one thing about this movie is.

(59:49):
Both of those things are beautiful. Production design and art design. Yeah, the whole thing is really, really beautifully crafted. This is a name. Tori Nuruf. Oh, boy.
Tori Nuruf-chan. Tori Nuruf-chan. She did some fun stuff.

(01:00:10):
Okay. She did a parody slash sci-fi comedy movie called remote control from 1988, which I fricking need to see. Oh my God. Kevin Dillon, Jennifer Tilly.
What? So she did that. But yes, Matthew C. Jacobs and Ron Wilson were the production designers on this. Oh, he was on Eve of Destruction, which is a fun one. I haven't seen that since it was new.

(01:00:38):
Eve of Destruction was the killer robot lady movie with Gregory Hines. God, I bet that's freaking amazing now. The technology is probably really funny in that movie.
The piles of stuff I need to rewatch is cray cray. So yeah, they, they didn't do a lot of other things that I know, but you know, it's just, I want to give a shout out to that, that type of work with movies where it really stands out, you know?

(01:01:05):
Same year as this. I'm looking at Matthew C. Jacobs and his production designer. Same year as this, Society. No shit. Speaking of movies, I need to see Giver. Yes.
from, from 1991. That movie has been on my periphery of viewing for years. I think I've seen the anime many years ago. I never saw the live action American one, which is just nuts.

(01:01:34):
Oh, speaking of society, I didn't realize it's got two directors. Steve Wang and Screaming Mad George. Oh, nice. Yeah, Screaming Mad George. He's the man for speaking of...
christmas horror movies oh yes of course yeah yeah trivia stuff i obviously uh strongly recommend if you have the blue to check out the either the commentary or the making of

(01:02:00):
it's a really great blu-ray i tried to get to and part of it was just to be quite frank with just fatigue if i didn't have the energy
be as exhaustive as i might not but then again it's like something less if you're sufficiently interested then yeah we didn't employ you to just pick it up so it is it's a great release
no one or two things down one thing i will mention i alluded to before because you were talking about casting now as is always the case they wanted both in front of and behind the camera um they wanted some bigger name people like for um

(01:02:33):
the uh leading role of virginia for instance um andy mcdowell was considered yeah well for some reason i
I wrote her name down. I miscapitalized things. I wrote it down as Andy McDowell. Oh, and she does do well. Well, she does, yeah. And for some reason, this was hysterical to me, right, watching this about half two in the morning.

(01:02:56):
I think I was getting a bit goofy, to be honest. But, you know, honestly, I like her, but she was so wrong. She was not the right person for this movie at all. You mentioned briefly that they had a lot of trouble with the...
how to market this the studio did not know how to market this at all no they really really didn't so i think they sort of um kind of wimped out a bit and it had a bit of a limited release

(01:03:23):
steps at least but it sounds like it did a lot better especially in france and he tells um i think on the commentary and also one of the um feature acts about um
having a great screening in Moscow, of all places, where he went over to promote it. I think it seems like either horror films were not that common over there then, or maybe they were just a bit behind.

(01:03:48):
they'd have these, it sounds like more like a Bollywood screening, very multi-generational screenings of kids, grandparents and everything. And they were like,
you know, jumping at everything. And they're in this, you know, a tiny screen with somebody translating it in real time. And it just sounds like the whole thing went down gangbusters, you know, because they were not used to it.

(01:04:08):
IMDB says that this made $205 worldwide. That is so sad. That's a lot of rubles. It might be.
Paul Mason, one of the producers, he worked on Killer Clowns from Outer Space. Yeah, this guy as well, yeah.

(01:04:29):
What a movie. Now that's a movie I thought I wouldn't like. And I ended up, cause I don't know. Clowns are just fricking annoying to me. That, that, that movie is so fun and so special.
Something else I think we've mentioned a few times that I've been morbidly curious to watch for 23 years has come out, fear.com. Oh my god, you are in for something.

(01:04:53):
It is quite fun bad stuff. Good bad stuff. Moshe Diamant. He produced Pray for Death and Rage of Honor. A couple of ninja movies.
He also did programmed to kill, which I've always been curious about. It looks fucking terrible. Oh, shit. Raphael Eisenman, producer on Teen Witch.

(01:05:20):
Oh, you know what he can't do? He can't top that. Helen Zabo. Oh, she executive produced monster dog.
She was definitely in Italy being confused. One more. Ooh. Okay. I got this. Uh, Edward Sarlouis. He produced mom, which I saw, I think.

(01:05:47):
I watched for the first time this year, last year from 1990. That's a good one. I like that. I was very surprised by that. Yes, sir. It was definitely better than I thought it was going to be and different.
Anyway, so that's all the producers. A little bit of fun I have here. I have the translation, the title, Translations. This, of course, had many different iterations of I, Madman, but there's some strange ones here.

(01:06:15):
In Italy, this was called Alone in that House. Was it La Casa sequel? I wish it had been. I wish it had been. In Mexico, it translates to Satanic Readings.
Poland. This is nice. Hard cover in a stiff cover. Really? Doubling down on that. Oh man. In Norway, this translates to Virginia's nightmare.

(01:06:43):
in finland me the mentalist uh the probably the the one that i'm really struggling with here argentina uh they called it mortal bond
Hmm. Hmm. Some a lost translation there, perhaps. Yeah, totally. Totally. I mean, it's a saying they have for American horror movie guy. I don't know. Portugal. It's the Cape of Terror.

(01:07:11):
And I don't know if they mean cape or cape. Oh, as in like cape card or whatever. Or a cape you wear. Yeah. Yeah. Or crepe. Crepe of terror. Bloody crepes.
i'm trying to translate some of the other ones in real time and i'm just losing it here because what do you got don't do the russian one i want to do the russian one oh okay yep please do before that and it jumped out at me because it looks like it says

(01:07:39):
turd povez but it's not tv ardent povez and it's just it's hardcover that's all of this but i just looked as i have to know what that means so sorry we're going to be distracted there for a minute oh no please that's why we're here for distractions
The Russian one. This is the last one I got. I'm crazy. Yeah. Fuck yeah, you're crazy. You're wearing somebody else's lips and you're looking worse than you did before. Ugly.

(01:08:08):
You damn uggo. Yeah, I mean, it all, yeah. It describes the movie, I think, pretty succinct. I'm crazy. So, Simon, how do you feel about...
iMadman and be honest because he's listening. Go up at it.
Yeah, no, I think I said earlier on, but I pretty much from the off just fucking fell in love with this movie. I just think it's such a great, wonderful hidden gem, deep coat, what have you. Yeah, I don't...

(01:08:41):
it depends because like between this and the gate which i think no that maybe came to them similar times i think that was on a different channel um but discovering those about 10 15 years ago and just both are very very rewatchable
And, yeah, they just have a different sort of vibe, though, I guess. That one maybe as a sort of – at this point, I think they're both sort of what we call sort of comfort horror. Maybe the game more because it's –

(01:09:10):
I don't know, that sort of most like borderline kid horror sort of thing and the sort of suburban setting, which, you know, sort of living out there is very relatable to me. But I've...
Long, I don't consider myself an expert or anything by any means, but loved Loire and stuff as well. And obviously there's a lot of that DNA in here. And that's another thing, sort of linking to Christmas. Obviously we're in November now on Loire-vember. There's a lot of people.

(01:09:35):
like to call it so this is a great one to watch this time of year as a sort of um you know um after halloween is over and when like if you and i'm just glad um
without going in my life story you know being made redundant this year if i don't have to work in fucking retail this christmas oh wow first time in like 15 years so it's not it's not surrounding me already

(01:09:59):
you know, this fucking early in November, but I'm content, you know, film wise, at least to sort of ease into it a little bit with stuff like this. It's just a perfect candidate for it because it's there in the background, but it's not like overly obnoxious.
Yeah, it's one of those things where the first time I watched this, I had no Christmas impression of it at all. And then Detective Richard, Dick Richard, runs through that lobby.

(01:10:27):
And there's a giant Christmas tree. Oh, this is a Christmas movie. So we started revisiting it. And every time I watch it, I see more Christmas decorations around the movie.
It does start off very subtle. I think the first one, I noted it, I forget. I think it's about 10 minutes in. It's the little one around, again, a cozy little reading area. Sure, sure. Just on the mantle or whatever.

(01:10:49):
uh and then there's a bit i think where she's flicking through the channels and there's like a um not like a coca-cola one but almost that sort of vibe
very brief snippet of a christmas ad but yeah like you say the one in um it's like if you hadn't realized already when you get into the and sorry i got mixed up before i think it is the interior of the same library of the pasadena public okay

(01:11:10):
beautiful beautiful building uh where it's like yeah if you didn't realize this was secretly a stealth christmas music already here you are you fuckers and also her apartment number is 31 and that's the number of christmas
But of course, 1031 somewhere. I honestly think this should be on more people's favorites list.

(01:11:34):
Just because it rides the line of trashy versus classy and it holds back on some of the gore. It's very grotesque, but it's not lurid.
No, but OK, let me rephrase that. It's lurid, but it's not a nasty late 80s splatter fest or anything. You don't have that that, you know.

(01:11:59):
zombie leaning over and his guts pouring out of him like in freaking day of the dead or some shit like that you know oh god yeah and uh
Sorry, yeah, there's a bit of a, and there's another movie I forgot to mention. I think it's the same year, isn't it? And again, it's all Nightmare on Elm Street adjacent like this is. I think 89, that was the same year as the Phantom of the Opera one with Robert Englund.
Oh yeah. That's a very interesting movie. I just watched that for the first time last year, maybe very different from what I was expecting. The tone of this is spot on production is production stuff behind the scenes.

(01:12:32):
Just the amount of work that the gentleman who did the effects as well as his own makeup. Just the amount of stuff he did.
to pull off that character is just really incredible talking about an mvp of the movie i mean oh yeah and that's the thing like this is jenny wright's movie and

(01:12:57):
yet it's his movie too yeah because the two of them carry this so well and you know he obviously has way less screen time than her but he's so imposing
Oh, that's one story I liked where he was talking about being in makeup in the cafeteria and everyone not sitting with him. Because they were so grossed out by his look, even though he was only half in the makeup. It was like, I can't watch you eat, dude.

(01:13:24):
Yeah, it could be a bit off-putting. So yeah, this is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it Christmas movie. Simon, did you have something you wanted to chat about?
Well, you know, and I couldn't think of...
well no i can think of specific things but you know my brain works so just like you start thinking about one thing then well okay here's one for starters because this is noir adjacent as well one that i dig out every year sometimes there's a bridge between um

(01:13:56):
you know november and christmas it would be fences yes yes oh perfect coming soon to this show folks we're gonna we're gonna talk about transfers on this show sometime hey fantastic i've you know i saw transfers too for the first time this year and that's on my list of
favorites of the year already spoiler alert there i love that freaking movie fantastic that's one of those things you're like oh wait there's totally a santa claus and there's totally a gift exchange and they talk about christmas and christmas you know but you don't think of it immediately

(01:14:27):
No, you don't. And then it's like like this is big chunks of the movie where it is, you know, either forgotten about or it's just not. In both cases, it's peripheral to the plot, but it's another part of the.
you know, the trimmings or what have you, I guess you might say. One other one, which is because I picked up the 4K, I've not had a chance to watch it yet, which is very similar in this respect, would be hardware.

(01:14:54):
Yeah, yeah. Hardware is Christmas. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I've got one for you. 1988. The Brain. Oh, yes. That is one of those movies.
Where you're like, wait, what did his parents ask him to do? To throw out the Christmas tree? And you're like, oh, wait, let's rewatch that. And then the following year, you see a little bit more Christmas in it than you'd noticed before.

(01:15:18):
Love it. And that particular bit where they're putting the stuff out in a couple of years in a row, the first I think was accidental, but then I made a point to do the next year of like maybe Twelfth Night or whatever, you know, when I was wrapping up, so to speak, watching the...
or the christmas movies i think that may have watched that either as a final or penultimate christmas movie of the year because it just felt so

(01:15:41):
symbolically perfect of having that scene where they're literally throwing all the christmas recycling and rubbish away and you know down the end of the drive whatever totally um and then there's um a legend of hell house which you know
They have the dates leading up to Christmas Eve. They did. Yeah. Um, one of my favorite, and I'm putting this in quotes, bad movies, because I think it's a fricking legendary masterful thing.

(01:16:08):
bust out every year scanners three the takeover oh still not watch any of the sequels oh dude let me tell you so i liked scanners too it's crazy
It's one of those movies that ups the ante and tries to deliver the goods. It's trying very hard to be its own thing while still having the connection to the first one. And then part three...

(01:16:35):
is wacky like really wacky i love part three and sure enough it starts at christmas i think there's definitely uh somebody in santa's suit and some some
decorations, a Christmas party, stuff like that. I highly recommend you get to that at your earliest convenience. You will be very well surprised. I'm excited to see the sequels for a while. This reminded me.

(01:17:02):
God, which one is it? She's making me think of Cronenberg. There's one of his movies. I wanted to say The Brood, but I feel like it might be rabid now.
whether it's a Christmas scene. Is it Rabbit? Yeah, I think Rabbit is the one that takes place. There's a Santa, one of the ghoul infected is wearing a Santa costume.

(01:17:23):
kind of very actually quite like that one bit in trances with it you know we've got trouble at the north pole yeah nice nice one more i'll mention because uh like same year of um
Francis and also just I kind of think not like sister films but almost would be Night of the Comet absolutely yes that is one of those movies that you

(01:17:49):
do you forget where it's taking place? Cause it feels like a new year's movie because it's set up. And I think a lot of the footage they shot, uh, to, to make the, uh, the comet party big happen is they were shooting around, uh, new year's.
That and thinking with both Francis and with I Mad Men them being California movies as well. I guess they're obviously being very different, I guess, over there. Simon, before I let you go.

(01:18:18):
do the thing that every British person does at Christmas time, which is go.
knock on doors and ask for a penny for the guy. What is a Christmas horror or Christmas of any genre pick that you would recommend to folks to...
to get them in the mood for someone sliding up and down their chimney. Ooh. Well, I'd, you know, I'd, I'd sort of repeat what I've already said about, um, a few of them of hardware and the comment, um,

(01:18:49):
and trances and all of that. There's just so many to name. Something that jumped out at me, I'm going to say to you, looking at all Facebook posts.
And the 4K will be out this month is wide shut, which is a bit more obviously Christmassy because that's like that in every scene. And it is almost, you know, because Christmas being to do with.

(01:19:09):
and it's why it is i suppose at this point one of the great christmas movies because it's so about
um family and relationships and how they can get a bit strained and the difficulties that come with them so yep if you haven't seen already folks the criterion 4k that's coming out this month has probably cost me a pretty penny to import that entire
but I will do it because I fucking adore that movie and I make a point of watching it every single year now I'm a fan I'm a big fan of it and also

(01:19:40):
Fantastic. Also sort of a stealth or secret shallow, possibly. Oh, yes. Yes. Why not? Dude, that totally makes sense.
I can hear some people screaming at me somewhere, but I don't care. My brain went, huh? And I went, ooh. So I was struggling to think of a recommendation, and I was scrolling through a bunch of stuff, because of course I wanted to say...

(01:20:03):
A big one that you and I have already covered on this show, I think it's a freaking fantastic episode, is our Don't Open Till Christmas. Oh, but of course. I love that. I look forward to that movie every single year. What a joy.
We did to all a good night. Yep. Yep. Another one. That was my second choice. So I was trying to think of what the hell haven't we talked about? But and anyone who knows me, this is a top tier favorite.

(01:20:33):
Maybe a little bit of a broken favorite. Silent night, deadly night five, the toy maker. Yes. What am I watching?
Every time I watch that movie, I get into what am I watching? You've got the Pinocchio aspect, which gets more and more, let's say, perturbing. And then even if you just isolate.

(01:20:59):
drunk mickey rooney it's so crazy the whole movie's crazy and then you got killer toys as well oh my god
Yeah, I'm indebted to you for sending me that triple pack of three, which I'd seen a few times, and four, equally bonkers in a different way, in a very... Dude, hey. Yeah.

(01:21:20):
I took advantage. I did not know how good we had it before this tariff bullshit. I was able to send you a box of movies and it was like nothing. It was like maybe 20 bucks.
Maybe not even that much to mail something to you in England. And now I can't send shit overseas. It's fucking sad. Thank you for...

(01:21:44):
for making the most of it i um yeah i can really revisit all of those um oh something that jumped out again just going searching christmas posts on my facebook of the going back to what we said initially things like stealth are almost barely borderline christmas
is John Carpenter's Christine. Yes, that cycles through a few holidays, doesn't it?

(01:22:04):
I think it does. I've not seen it in a couple of years. I forget where it starts, but there's a bit of Christmas stuff at the end, like very minor, like in a couple of scenes in the background. But hell, it is there. I'll tell you what, man. That is a movie that I did not like.
As a kid, I was like, yeah, the book's better. I don't give a shit about the book now. I mean, I'm sure it's great.

(01:22:25):
But that movie, dude, it holds up. It is a solid Carpenter movie. Damn. It really does. I mean, that's in his sort of purple patch, really, isn't it? I think it gets forgotten about amongst the other ones.
Oh, that and, eventually we're just going to have to stop, but something I picked up on Blu-ray last year that I have always thought of, this is even more Christmas adjacent because it's not Christmas set, it's winter set.

(01:22:52):
Okay. Well, because it is so, got such a huge hard-on for Black Christmas, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it as The Sleeper. Oh, shit. Good call. I was just thinking about that movie the other day. That's funny.
Yeah. That's one of the first, like somebody said, I want to make a faux vintage slasher and I want to make it, I want to make it look.

(01:23:20):
and feel like it was made in the early to mid 80s and they did a great job it's a fun one i like that one let's call it there man i think we yeah we did it before we name every movie
Wait, you know what? Let's talk about Die Hard. Die Hard has literally just come up on my screen. And before that, oh, everybody's favorite Christmas movie. Everybody's favorite Christmas movie, Suspiria.

(01:23:46):
Santa Giallo, Giallo Claus. I mean, I did actually, yeah, yeah, exactly. I did for a few years, though, because of the colors I'd equated it to, I've got it here, said it's a bit like...
being drunk with all the christmas lights on or something so for a few years in a row i got to watch it around christmas because why not have a jolly holly margento day

(01:24:10):
anyway dude thank you for hanging out this is awesome oh thank you too and uh folks thanks for listening whatever holiday you jam on enjoy hope you have a nice get a vacation i hope you're doing well
And make sure you watch a podcast where they rabidly, heatedly get angry about the Die Hard is a Christmas movie debate.

(01:24:39):
and sit around the fire and then throw your computer in the fire. And just while you're not getting angry or whatever, I just want to wish everybody a very happy and blessed Brexit day. Happy tariffs, everybody.
Yeah.

(01:25:16):
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(01:25:39):
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(01:26:06):
and you'll find Giallo Meltdown, A Movie-Thon Diary, Giallo Meltdown 2, Cinema Somnambulist, or Doomed Movie-Thon, the book. Hello, this is The Doomed Show. I'm a proud member of the Legion Podcasts Network.
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