Let's talk about the Anti-Aging Movement and where it Needs to Go

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Imagine redefining how you view aging—not as a battle to be fought but as a natural, beautiful process to be embraced.

Join me as we unravel the harmful narrative of the "anti-aging" movement and invite a shift towards self-acceptance at every stage of life. Explore how society's fixation on youthfulness creates unnecessary pressure and internal conflict. I'll share personal insights on how our bodies transform over time and how recognizing the normalcy of wrinkles can lead to a more fulfilling perspective on growing older. Let’s dismantle the myth that aging is undesirable and highlight the privilege it truly is.

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Episode Transcript

Melissa (00:06):
Today, I'm going to be stepping up on my soapbox
because I want to talk about theanti-aging movement and where
it needs to go.
Welcome to the Lemon BalmCoaching Podcast, your cozy
corner of the world where we'llsip on life's lessons and
squeeze the most out of everymoment.
I'm Melissa, your coach,cheerleader and maybe even a
little bit like that mom whoalways has a warm hug and the

(00:28):
best advice waiting for you.
If you're a woman over 40,feeling like life's left you a
little lost, aimless ordownright stuck, you're in the
right place.
This is where your joy, yourfreedom and your purpose come
back into focus.
Together, we'll laugh, learnand rediscover what makes you
come alive.
Because it's not too late, thisis your time, so grab a cup of

(00:50):
something warm, settle in andlet's start creating the next
most beautiful chapter of yourlife together.
All right, so I know that inthe intro to the podcast, it
talks about this being that warmhug from your mom and that
plate of cookies and all thatawesome stuff the things that
we're all looking for in a mom.
But I think sometimes we needreal talk as well, and that's

(01:14):
what I want to do today.
I want to talk about this wholeanti-aging movement and where I
think it needs to go.
Because, let's be honest, ifyou're listening to this podcast
, it's because you're aging, andthere is absolutely nothing
wrong with aging.
It is the absolute naturalprocess of life.
So let's just talk about thatreal quick.

(01:35):
When my kids were little, Iremember the first time I said
this to my oldest son he waspreteen teen right around that
time.
Well, I guess I don't rememberpreteen teen right around that
time.
Well, I guess I don't rememberhe was preteen at the time and I
told him.
I don't remember what we weretalking about, but it was like.
I told him.
I said you know, the momentthat we're born we actually

(01:56):
start to die.
And that's the truth, becausethe moment that we're born I
mean really the moment thatwe're conceived cells start to
generate, regenerate, generate,regenerate, die, regenerate, die
, regenerate.
Over and over and over again.
This process of regenerationhappens and as we age, that
process just slows down, andthat's the aging process.

(02:19):
It's not that we're getting oldand our bodies are falling
apart, it's that we don'tregenerate as quickly as we once
did.
And I remember telling my thesame son he was almost 30.
And I said to him I said oh, 30, 30 is an interesting time
because all of a sudden yourbody stops regenerating as

(02:39):
quickly as it once did.
Now it's.
That's been happening, it'sbeen slowing down, but at 30,
you really start to notice it.
And we went camping as a familyand I remember a few days after
we were done camping he calledand he goes I don't know what's
going on, mom, I just I can't,I'm just feel so exhausted, I
have no idea what's happening.
And I said well, you're 30.

(02:59):
And he goes what does that haveto do with it?
I said when you turn 30, youstart to notice this process of
slowing down.
Your cells just don'tregenerate as quickly.
But even beyond the biologicalpart, this whole anti-aging
movement, anti-aging skincare,anti-aging supplements,

(03:22):
anti-aging, anti, anti, anti Imean really words matter right,
and when we say anti, that meanswe're against it and that's a
negative statement.
Anti is negative, so we'resaying we're against aging, yet
our bodies are naturally aging.

(03:44):
So what does that do inside ofyou?
What does that do mind, bodyand spirit?
Well, it's actually creating awar inside your body.
If I'm trying to do somethingwonderful and I'm over here
saying no, no, no, anti, anti,anti, it's like there's this
dichotomy, there's this pull,this push and pull that's that's

(04:04):
not productive.
So, anti-aging, this whole,this whole idea that wrinkles
are bad, I don't understand.
So, growing up, our mom taughtus how to care for our skin and
I don't remember her ever sayingit was because she didn't want
to get old.
It was just because this is theonly skin she's ever going to

(04:26):
have and she wanted to take careof it.
And I feel like if you'reputting on makeup to care for
your skin, that's one thing, butif you're putting on all this
stuff all over your face in aneffort to stop the aging process
, it's counterproductive.
You're going to age and I thinkabout, like, all the movie
stars and stuff like that, theones that still look like
they're in their thirties eventhough they're in their sixties

(04:48):
or seventies.
You know that's not natural,right?
I mean, let's be honest, that'snot natural.
That's airbrushing, that'smakeup, that's facelifts, that's
all of that stuff that theaverage person just doesn't have
access to, right?
Let's be honest, I don't haveaccess to that.
I'm not going to go and get afacelift, but I look at my face
and I think to myself I looklike a 55-year-old woman.

(05:09):
I don't think there's anythingwrong with looking like a
55-year-old woman, because I'm55.
And I think that's an okaything.
And then I think about all ofthe people that don't actually
ever get a chance to be 55.
But this whole anti-aging, Idon't like it.
I was watching a commercialwith my dad the other day and it

(05:30):
was I don't even know what itwas for.
It was for men's skincare,men's skincare.
We are so specific now, men'sskincare and it was like men
over 40 look in the mirror andsee this and they pointed to a
wrinkle when they could beseeing this.
And they pointed to a modelwhen men over 40 look into a
mirror and see this and theypoint into a wrinkle when they
could be seeing this.
And they point into a modelwhen men over 40 look into a
mirror and see this and theypoint into the forehead wrinkles
when they could be looking in amirror and seeing this.

(05:52):
And it was some airbrushedmodel.
Again, I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I feel like, if you are on thisanti-aging bandwagon, that it's
shameful.
It's based in shame.
It's based in shame.
It's like shame on you forgetting old, shame on you for

(06:16):
having wrinkles, shame on youfor having eyes that don't work
as well as they once did.
Shame on you for having grayhair.
Shame on you for having stretchdid.
Shame on you for having grayhair.
Shame on you for having stretchmarks.
Shame on you for having alittle bit of flab.
Shame on you for having amenopause belly.

(06:39):
It's based in shame, and shameis the lowest vibrational
emotion on the chart on thespectrum, and when we operate
from this place of shame, we'rebringing our energetic vibration
down.
Yeah, every single one of ushas a specific energetic
vibration, a perfect vibrationin this life.

(06:59):
And when we have emotions likeshame running through our body,
when we have shameful thoughts,thoughts like shame on you for
whatever and you can't tell meyou haven't done that to
yourself we beat ourselves upridiculous amounts of time.
We beat ourselves up over thetiniest little things like oh my

(07:22):
gosh, a chin hair, or oh, lookat the double chin, or whatever.
When we beat ourselves up, weare at war with ourselves.
We are creating war in our mind, body and spirit.
And when we have that division,when we have that bifurcation
within us, we're not operatingat our true designed state.

(07:46):
And when we are not operatingat our true designed state.
We're not giving to the worldour very best.
We're not showing up as ourbest.
We're not showing up as who wewere meant to be.
That breaks my heart to thinkof all the years I've wasted,
all of the years you have wastedbeating yourself up over things

(08:07):
you have zero control over.
In Steel Magnolias, when DollyParton's character says time
marches on and eventually yourealize it's marching right
across your face, she's notwrong.
Time marches on and the effectsof time show up in our bodies.
The effects of time show up onour skin and there is absolutely

(08:31):
nothing wrong with being a55-year-old woman who has smile
lines.
Think about all of the timesyou smiled to get those lines.
Think about all of the amazingexperiences you've had in your
life to give you the wrinklesthat you have.
Because what are the wrinkles Imean?
Really, they're the lines inyour face caused over time, just

(08:53):
like crevices in the earth.
Think about all of the timesthat you smiled.
That's why you have those lines.
Think about all of the timesthat you loved your kids so much
that the worry lines were there.
Think about all of that.
That's aging.

(09:14):
There is nothing wrong withhaving lines on your face.
There is nothing wrong withexperiencing life to the fullest
and having the skin to show forit.
Experiencing life to thefullest and having the skin to
show for it.
Now, like I said earlier, ifyou're putting on stuff on your
skin to care for your skin,that's one thing I mean.
I put moisturizer on todaybecause my skin was feeling dry,

(09:35):
but we don't have to cover upwho we are.
We don't have to hide who weare anymore.
You never had to hide who youwere, but there was a part of
you that believed you did tosurvive this life and that's
okay.
But we can let that go now.
We can show up.
We don't have to hide who weare.

(09:57):
We don't have to cover up thelines on our faces anymore.
On our faces anymore.
Show up, be you, be 100%authentic you in every situation
.
Allow those lines to comethrough.
Think about where you'll be 10years from now, 20 years from

(10:19):
now and, if the Lord allows, 30years from now.
Think about the lines of life.
This whole anti-aging movement,this whole idea that we have to
chase after youth, is antiquated.
It's outdated, it is no longerneeded.
You don't need it.
I don't need it, and you knowwhat All these people trying to

(10:41):
get you to buy all their crapthat's supposed to keep you
young looking.
They need to get overthemselves and they need to just
realize that we just want to be.
We just want to be.
We don't want to be shamedanymore for experiencing life
and for growing older.
Because you know what?
Not everybody gets to grow old.

(11:01):
My brother passed away at 55.
Gets to grow old.
My brother passed away at 55.
55.
I turned 55 last year.
He didn't get to live past 55.
Not everyone gets to get old.
Not everyone has the privilegeof getting smile lines on their
faces.
So wear your smile lines as abadge of honor, your stretch

(11:24):
marks a badge of honor, yourmenopause belly.
Just embrace it.
Because you know what?
The more we worry about thatshit, the worse it gets.
There's no reason for us tofeel shame for existing as long
as we have.
So I'm sick and tired of theanti-aging movement.

(11:45):
I'm done with it, and I justwanted you guys to know that,
and I wanted you guys to hear itfrom me first and, since we're
here at the beginning of thepodcast, I wanted you to know
that sometimes I can getpassionate, sometimes I can get
salty.
Sometimes I can get a littlespicy, but when I get that way

(12:06):
it's because I feel passionateabout what it is that I'm
talking about and I want you tohear it, and I want you to know
it's coming from a place of loveand I hope that you heard it.
I hope that what I had to saytoday encouraged you and lifted
you up and helped you realizethat girl, girl, just be

(12:27):
yourself, honey.
Nobody needs you to pretend tobe anything that you're not
anymore.
That is exhausting.
Ain't nobody got time for thatanymore.
So show up, be yourself,embrace those smile lines and
tell the anti-aging movementwhere to go.
Thanks so much for spending alittle time with me today on the

(12:48):
lemon balm coaching podcast.
I hope you're walking away withsomething that sparks joy, hope
or a fresh perspective for yourjourney.
If you loved today's episode,let's keep the conversation
going.
You can find more inspiration,coaching tips and resources over
at my website,lemonbalmcoachingcom.
Don't forget to follow me onsocial media for encouragement

(13:08):
and updates, and you'll find meon Instagram and Facebook at
Lemon Balm Coaching.
And hey, if you're looking fora supportive, uplifting
community of amazing women justlike you, come join us in the
Reignite your Flame Facebookgroup.
It's a safe welcoming spacewhere we share, grow and cheer
each other on, and you can findthe link on my website or just
search for Reignite your Flameon Facebook.

(13:29):
Remember, honey, just beyourself.
The world needs what only youhave to offer.
Take care and I'll see you inthe next episode.