Why Balance Isn’t Possible (and What to Focus on Instead)

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Can the pursuit of balance be an illusion?

As your coach and cheerleader, I challenge the conventional wisdom that balance in life is a destination we can reach. Drawing from my years as a dancer, I share that balance is not about stillness but continuous micro-adjustments. Like a unicyclist or a dancer on pointe, life demands constant movement. Together, we'll explore why this ideal of balance might be a myth and what we should focus on instead. We'll also discuss the societal pressures that keep us in perpetual motion, particularly affecting women, and why embracing periods of rest and renewal is crucial.

Let’s rethink what it means to live a balanced life and accept that pausing and recharging is okay. With countless responsibilities pulling us in different directions, striving for a flawless version of life often leaves us exhausted. It’s time to release the notion of balance as an achievable goal and redefine it as an ongoing, evolving process that includes rest, laughter, and rediscovery of what brings us joy. Grab your favorite warm beverage and settle in as we create the next beautiful chapter of your life.

Download your free guide: Align Your Life to Create Harmony: A simple four-part framework HERE

It’s time to rediscover YOU. Join the Reignite Your Flame Facebook group—a supportive community where women like you find peace, joy, and purpose. Together, we’ll nurture your mind, body, and spirit so you can shine again.  Don’t wait to start your journey back to yourself. 
Join Reignite Your Flame HERE

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Are you a woman over 40 who is on the verge of a mental or physical breakdown? Are you ready to invite peace, joy, and excitement into your life again? Download 5 Tips to Feel Joy Again in Under 20-Mintues AND Join the Reignite Your Flame Group on Facebook where women, just like you, come together to support, encourage, and connect.

Music by Adipsia

Episode Transcript

Melissa (00:05):
I did a quick Google search and it brought up
hundreds of quotes about balance, and gurus everywhere tell you
to seek balance in your life.
Seek balance in every area.
But I don't believe balance ispossible and you've been fed a
lie.
So in this episode, I'm divinginto why balance is not possible
and what you can focus oninstead.

(00:27):
Welcome to the Lemon BalmCoaching Podcast, your cozy
corner of the world where we'llsip on life's lessons and
squeeze the most out of everymoment.
I'm Melissa, your coach,cheerleader and maybe even a
little bit like that mom whoalways has a warm hug and the
best advice waiting for you.
If you're a woman over 40,feeling like life's left you a

(00:48):
little lost, aimless ordownright stuck, you're in the
right place.
This is where your joy, yourfreedom and your purpose come
back into focus.
Together, we'll laugh, learnand rediscover what makes you
come alive.
Because it's not too late, thisis your time, so grab a cup of
something warm, settle in andlet's start creating the next

(01:09):
most beautiful chapter of yourlife together.
All right, so I just want totalk about balance in general.
So when we're talking aboutbalance, right, we're talking
about staying upright and beingable to move forward.
That's what balance reallytruly is.
I was a dancer in my youth andbalance was critical.

(01:30):
When you're on point, you'rebalancing on the very tip of
your toes, but it's not aboutbeing able to stay perfectly
upright.
There's always gentle movementand adjustments that are
happening as you're balancing.
Maybe you weren't a dancer, butmaybe you've ridden a bicycle

(01:51):
or roller skated or ice skatedor something like that.
When you're up right on yourice skates or your roller skates
or on your bicycle, there'salways these little micro
movements, micro adjustmentsthat you're making to be able to
stay upright.
I have this vision in my headof a unicyclist right, even a
unicyclist is constantly movingto be able to stay upright.

(02:14):
But when we're talking aboutbalance in life, I just don't
think it's possible.
I don't think it's possible tohave all of these
responsibilities that are up inthe air, that you have to juggle
, that you have to manage, thatyou have to keep moving all the

(02:34):
time.
And, like I said, this searchon the internet.
You can find hundreds of quotesabout balance from some of you
know, ancient gurus all the wayto current thinkers, and they're
always talking about seekbalance in life, life balance,
work life balance, family andwork, balance, balance, balance,

(02:56):
balance.
But it's like a.
It's like a, it's like a dancethat you're trying to accomplish
, but it's all jagged anduncomfortable.
Again, picture that unicyclistwho's trying to stay upright.
They're not perfectly still.
Their feet are movingconstantly.

(03:18):
The unicycle is going backwardsand forwards, constantly in
motion, and I don't feel likeour life should be constant
motion.
I feel like there should bedown times, there should be
times of rest, but for somereason especially women right, I

(03:41):
can talk to guys because I doget guys, but I'm not a guy.
I didn't experience lifethrough the lens of a man.
I experienced life through thelens of a woman and, as women,
we're constantly in motion,we're constantly working, we're
constantly caring for others,and it's and it's.

(04:01):
I think it's.
This idea of balance is one ofthe it's one of the things
that's really pushed us to bethis way.
We get this idea in our headabout what life should look like
.
We get this idea in our head ofthe perfect life, right, right,

(04:22):
the perfect wife and mother,whatever your idea is.
There's a lot of work involved.
We get up, we take care ofeveryone else, we cook dinner,
we clean the house.
If you have a job, you go towork.
If you homeschool your kids,you're homeschooling.
It's constant motion.

(04:43):
It's exhausting.
Think about that unicyclist or ajuggler and the constant motion
.
They have to take a breakeventually.
It's rare to find somebody thatcould juggle consistently for
days and days on end.
They still need a break.
We need a break, people need abreak.

(05:03):
So this idea of seeking balance,I feel like it has us pursuing
something that's not possible.
That constant motion,constantly going, never ending.
Just the thought of it makes meexhausted.
The thought of it just makes mewant to go and throw in the

(05:25):
towel and I feel like this lieof balance perpetuates this.
It keeps us striving for thatperfect balance which, again, is
not possible.
I was a really good dancer in myyouth and I couldn't stay on

(05:48):
point forever Not possible.
There's always that balancingact.
Think about the tightropewalker.
They've got the bar to helpthem balance.
It's just difficult to findthat perfect space where no

(06:10):
movement is necessary.
I don't even know if it'spossible.
It's probably impossible tofind that perfect balance where
movement is never necessary.
So I don't think balance in yourlife is possible.
I don't think it's possible tofind a work-life balance.
I don't think it's possible tofind a family and work balance.

(06:33):
So what can you focus oninstead?
What could you seek, what couldyou be looking for instead?
I think there's a couple ofthings that you could be
focusing on instead of seekingafter this all elusive balance,
and one of them is harmony.
I love the idea of seekingharmony in my life.

(06:57):
Harmony is this beautifulexperience of everything coming
together to create one gorgeousnote.
So what if, instead of tryingto seek this balance in life
that has you just exhausted andconstantly moving, what if you

(07:20):
tried to seek harmony in lifewhere your work and your home
are coming together to create abeautiful note?
Harmony is possible.
We hear it all the time.
Think of your favorite acapellagroup.
Think of your favoritebarbershop chorus if you have

(07:41):
one I do know some friends thatare still singing barbershop.
Think about how the notes cometogether to create that
beautiful sound.
Think about pop music.
Think about just any type ofmusic that's creating that
harmony.
And I always think of like thevery end of a barbershop chorus

(08:05):
song sometimes end of abarbershop chorus song.
Sometimes we'll start with adiscordant note and bring it
into harmony.
In our band back in Texas, weactually you know, at the
beginning of the THX thing inthe movies, where it starts off
sounding kind of discordant andgoes into this beautiful,
harmonious note.

(08:25):
Our bagpipe band did that, andthat is what we're talking about
.
It takes these discordant andgoes into this beautiful,
harmonious note.
Our bagpipe band did that, andthat is what we're talking about
.
It takes these discordant partsof our life and brings them all
together to make this beautifulexistence.
So I love the idea of seekingharmony instead of moving and
chasing after that balance.

(08:46):
That's just not possible.
The other thing that I love tothink about when I'm thinking
about life in general and how Iwant it to look, how I want it
to feel, is alignment.
I love alignment, alignmentwith God, bringing all the parts

(09:07):
of my life into alignment,moving toward a common goal.
And I think of chiropractic.
I mean, really, when we'retalking about alignment, that's
kind of one of the first thingsthat pops into my mind is the
chiropractic practice, becausewe're taking the spine and these
vertebrae that are kind ofjanky and out of alignment and

(09:29):
they put everything back in.
And why?
Why do we want our spine to bein alignment?
Well, you learned this back inhigh school, right?
The brain sends messages to thebody and the body sends messages
to the brain how?
Through the spinal column.
And if there are subluxations,if there are joints out of joint

(09:53):
, they're pinching on the nervesthat are sending those messages
.
So if your spine is out ofalignment, the message isn't
going to get to where it needsto go, whether that's from the
brain to the limbs and organs orfrom the limbs and organs to
the brain, which it works bothways.

(10:14):
And I love thinking about thechiropractic practice.
Because let's say, let's sayOkay, there is a subluxation in
the area where the message goesfrom the brain to the lungs.
Okay, if there's no, if there'sno pinch, if there's nothing

(10:36):
out of joint there, the messagefrom the brain to the lungs is
at a hundred percent and thelungs to the brain is at a
hundred percent.
But let's say there's a 30%pinch in that vertebrae that
goes from the brain to the lungs, where that message gets
through, then 30% of the messageisn't getting there, which

(11:01):
means 30% of your lung functionis diminished.
So I mean it matters.
It matters that our spine is inalignment.
It matters that our spine is inalignment, it matters that our
life is in alignment.
And when I think aboutalignment, like I said, I think
about alignment with God.
Again, thinking about itchiropractically you've got the
head and then everything elseshould be in alignment, and if

(11:24):
it's not in alignment, then themessages aren't getting where
they need to go.
It's just common sense.
If it's not in alignment, thenthe messages aren't getting
where they need to go.
It's just common sense.
If it's not in alignment, themessages aren't getting there.
So if there are parts of my lifethat are out of alignment with
my ultimate goal, my vision,where I'm trying to head, then

(11:46):
those parts are going to bedragging me down.
They're not going.
And one of the things that isreally great about our human
existence is the way that we doone thing is the way that we do
everything.
So if I'm thinking about thedifferent areas of life right,

(12:06):
you've got spirituality, you'vegot finances, you've got
relationships and you've gothealth If I'm doing things in
the health area that are justhorrible suppose I'm eating a
bunch of crap food.
I'm not paying attention, I'mjust eating whenever then that's
going to bleed over into theother areas.

(12:28):
The crap food is going tocreate crap in my relationships
and crap in my finances and crapin my spiritual life and crap
in my finances and crap in myspiritual life.
But if I'm working to bring allof these things into alignment
and making sure that all theareas of my life are moving in
the same direction, it'spowerful.

(12:50):
So what if, instead again ofseeking after that all-elusive,
impossible balance, we startlooking for alignment, alignment
and harmony Beautiful,beautiful options?
I actually have something thatcan help you.
You know, if you ever feel likeyour life's out of sync, like
the noise of everyday stress isdrowning out your peace and joy,

(13:13):
I created this just for you.
It's called Creating Harmony asimple four-part framework for
peace and joy in your life.
I mean like really imaginefinding a rhythm that brings all
the parts of your life intoperfect harmony.
No more chaos, no moreoverwhelm, just peace, joy and
you feeling whole again.

(13:33):
This is your chance to startfresh and take back control of
your life.
And the best part, it's totallyfree.
I'm going to put a link toCreating Harmony a simple
four-part framework for peaceand joy in your life into the
show notes.
All you have to do is clickthat link and it'll be sent
right to your email.
But, honestly, balance just noteven possible.

(13:55):
Think about that tightropewalker, think about the
unicyclist, think about theballerina on point.
In an arabesque, there's alwaysmicro movements.
There is constant motion.
When you are trying to balanceeverything in your life, it's

(14:17):
like juggling glass balls.
Eventually, something has togive.
You can do anything that youset your mind to.
I promise you you can.
You just can't do everythingall at once.
So stop trying to seek balance.
Balance is not possible.
So stop trying to seek balance.

(14:41):
Balance is not possible.
Balance is a lie.
Don't listen to all the gurus,because it's just impossible to
balance every single thing thatyou are trying to prioritize in
your life.
We have to pick, we have tochoose what things are going to
be prioritized.
But even in that picking andchoosing, you can find harmony

(15:04):
and you can create alignment.
Thanks so much for spending alittle time with me today on the
Lemon Balm Coaching Podcast.
I hope you're walking away withsomething that sparks joy, hope
or a fresh perspective for yourjourney.
If you loved today's episode,let's keep the conversation
going.

(15:24):
You can find more inspiration,coaching tips and resources over
at my website,lemonbalmcoachingcom.
Don't forget to follow me onsocial media for encouragement
and updates, and you'll find meon Instagram and Facebook at
Lemon Balm Coaching.
And hey, if you're looking fora supportive, uplifting
community of amazing women justlike you, come join us in the
Reignite your Flame Facebookgroup.

(15:45):
It's a safe, welcoming spacewhere we share, grow and cheer
each other on, and you can findthe link on my website or just
search for Reignite your Flameon Facebook.
Remember, honey, just beyourself.
The world needs what only youhave to offer.
Take care and I'll see you inthe next episode.