July 16, 2025 • 42 mins
Have you ever wondered why traditional approaches to health and weight management so often fail, even when you're doing everything "right"? Stephanie Pasniokas, founder of SJP Health and Wellness, brings her fascinating background in neuroscience to explain what's really happening in your body when stress takes over.
From childhood food insecurity to corporate burnout that left her obese with pre-diabetes and chronic fatigue, Stephanie's personal journey illuminates the profound connection between stress and failing health. Despite her scientific expertise in biochemistry and anatomy, she found herself trapped in the same "eat less, move more" cycle that fails millions of women—until she discovered the missing link.
The revelation? Stress isn't just a feeling—it's a physiological state that transforms our cellular energy factories (mitochondria) from power generators into inflammation producers. Through her compelling framework, Stephanie breaks down six distinct types of stress that contribute to our "allostatic load" and explains how they manifest as everything from digestive issues to mood disturbances to stubborn weight gain.
What makes this conversation truly special is Stephanie's approach to healing. Rather than promoting strict diets or punishing exercise regimens, she champions curiosity and experimentation. Her data-driven methodology helps women discover exactly how their unique bodies respond to foods, activities, and lifestyle choices. The goal isn't perfection—it's personalized knowledge that empowers sustainable change.
For women navigating perimenopause or feeling exhausted despite their best efforts, this episode offers both validation and hope. As Stephanie shares, "I have more energy now at 50 than I did when I was 38," proving that age doesn't have to mean declining vitality. Whether you're struggling with weight, fatigue, or just feeling disconnected from your body's signals, this conversation offers a refreshing scientific perspective on reclaiming your wellbeing—without guilt, restriction, or one-size-fits-all solutions.
Ready to understand what your body's been trying to tell you? Download Stephanie's free sleep guide at
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Are you a woman over 40 who is on the verge of a mental or physical breakdown? Are you ready to invite peace, joy, and excitement into your life again? Download 5 Tips to Feel Joy Again in Under 20-Mintues AND Join the Reignite Your Flame Group on Facebook where women, just like you, come together to support, encourage, and connect.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey friends, if you had a chance to listen to the
last episode, you got to meet mygood friend, stephanie
Pasniokas, as she interviewed me.
But we're turning the tablestoday.
We're turning them back around,putting me in the host seat and
I'm going to be talking withher about all the things that
she has coming up and heramazing shift from neuroscience
(00:27):
to wellness coach.
And she's the founder of SJPHealth and Wellness, where
metabolism meets mind set, andshe helps busy women reclaim
energy, stabilize their bloodsugar and feel confident in
their bodies.
Using her signature boss modeframework, she combines brain
science, biochemistry and reallife tools to make sustainable
(00:50):
health feel simple and doablewithout dieting, without calorie
counting and without guilt.
Doesn't that sound incredible?
Whether you're juggling work,parenting or perimenopause, she
teaches you how to tune intoyour body, trust yourself and
take back your wellness.
Stephanie's clients walk awayfeeling clear-headed, energized
(01:22):
and empowered to live boss ontheir terms.
Are you ready for this?
Let's do it.
Welcome to the Lemon BalmCoaching Podcast, your cozy
corner of the world where we'llsip on life's lessons and
squeeze the most out of everymoment.
I'm Melissa, your coach,cheerleader and maybe even a
little bit like that mom whoalways has a warm hug and the
best advice waiting for you.
If you're a woman over 40,feeling like life's left you a
little lost, aimless ordownright stuck, you're in the
(01:44):
right place.
This is where your joy, yourfreedom and your purpose come
back into focus.
Together, we'll laugh, learnand rediscover what makes you
come alive.
Because it's not too late, thisis your time, so grab a cup of
something warm, settle in andlet's start creating the next
most beautiful chapter of yourlife together.
Start creating the next mostbeautiful chapter of your life
(02:06):
together.
Stephanie, thank you so much forjoining me on the Lemon Balm
Coaching Podcast.
We met we actually met inperson just a few months ago for
the very first time.
We had Zoomed before and I knewof you, you knew of me, but
when we met at this retreat thatwe both attended, it was like
for me at least, it was like, ohmy gosh, I found a long lost
(02:28):
sister.
It just felt like an immediateconnection and what you do and
what I do are just, I feel, likea perfect marriage of health
and life coaching.
So thank you so much forjoining me, being willing to
come on and share with mylisteners joining me, being
willing to come on and sharewith my listeners.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
It is my absolute pleasure, and I have to tell you
, I felt like I almost became afangirl.
When we met, I was just like,oh my gosh, I love you and I
feel like I've known you forever.
And every time we said the nextthing it's like oh my gosh, me
too.
Oh, and have you heard that?
Yes, and I mean our favoritebooks, everything and I thought
how are we only just meeting inlife now?
And it doesn't even feel likeit just happened, and so I'm
glad that that was the same,because it was quite amazing,
(03:11):
and I'm so excited to know thatyou're in my life period.
End of story.
You don't get a choice.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
And it's true, though you never know.
You meet somebody and you'relike, oh my gosh, I'm in love
with them.
They are the most amazingperson ever.
Oh, I hope they feel the sameabout me.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I know, right, it's so funny, but I am really really
happy to be here and you know,I love I, I love the, the
science and the health and andall of those sorts of things and
and and truly.
What you and I do are two sidesof the same coin and they're
just inextricable.
You just can't have one withoutthe other.
(03:50):
So I love it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Absolutely agree.
Now, one of the things that Ithink is very, very important is
the story.
So the very first question Ilove to ask my guests is how in
the world did you end up heredoing what you're doing in the
wellness field?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, so I'll try to keep thata little uh, abbreviated, but,
um, I think, apropos to the kindof work that you do, I need to
go back a little bit before thestart and talk a little bit
about my childhood, which youknow was the best my mom could
do at the time.
(04:30):
You know, my parents weredivorced when I was four.
That was a.
That's a.
That's a tough age for a childwho's in the process of bonding
to lose any parent.
You know it's.
It's a tough time.
So I had a lot of that on my onmy heart for a long time.
It took a long time for me tounderstand that that was a.
(04:50):
There was a root cause involvedin that.
I used to have nightmares allthe time throughout childhood,
all the way up until pastpuberty, of being abandoned and
having my family want to kill me, things like that, like I just
all of the people I love turningagainst me, and I didn't know
where that was from for a verylong time.
But my mom had, you know I'dborn in Massachusetts.
(05:12):
My mom actually took me awayfrom the rest of the family and
me and my brother and sisterdown to Florida.
We didn't have a lot of moneyand I was often hungry.
And when I did have anopportunity to eat other
people's food or go to a buffetor something like that, I
literally I overdid it to the.
I mean, I'm surprised mystomach didn't just burst
(05:35):
because I didn't know when thatkind of food was gonna be
available again.
And when we did go out to eat,which was occasional, we'd go
out to like a pizza place orwe'd go to some what I thought
were fancy restaurants Now Iknow they're not terribly fancy,
but they were fancy to me and Iwould have such great anxiety I
couldn't even make a choice onthe menu because and everybody
(05:57):
just said, well here, it is ahalf an hour for Stephanie to
figure out what she wants to eatBecause I was afraid I would
get the wrong thing and I wouldnever have a chance to have it
again to have the right thing.
You know what I'm saying.
So I just had all this anxietyaround it.
So anyway, fast forward to.
I am now an adult and I'mmaking money and I have the
ability to buy my own food.
(06:18):
Can you imagine what might'vehappened?
Can you imagine what might'vehappened when I had a job where
I had to travel all the time andI had to eat out on the company
dime and I would just orderwhatever.
So but let me tell you a littlebit more about that traveling
job, because I loved it.
(06:39):
I loved the job, I loved what Idid, but it was a very high
stress job.
I had to travel a lot.
I was traveling multiple timesper month.
Anywhere from two day trip to a14 day trip was my longest.
I had three small children andmy husband was often left home
taking care of them.
I missed potty training myyoungest entirely, and so I was
(07:00):
always trying to travel backhome to be with them.
And it got to the point where Iwasn't.
I had no time or energy to hangout with my friends.
I couldn't even go to churchanymore, because the one Sunday
a month I could go, it wasbecause I had to be in nursery,
because my kids were in nurseryand I had no choice but to
volunteer.
So I stopped going to churchbecause I couldn't even go to
the service and I was alone.
(07:24):
I was drinking too much wine atthe time.
That was my de-stressor and mybody was literally falling apart
.
So over that seven years, andeven before that, because when I
had my son, I ate a lot ofMcDonald's and I gained like 70
pounds with him and peoplethought I was having three.
I had to sell my car.
I couldn't get behind the wheel, so I had I I'm not a very tall
(07:44):
person as you, as you as youfound, I'm only five three and I
um, eventually, over the courseof of time, ended up at around
about 190 pounds.
So I was officially obese, um,and I had pre-diabetes.
I had high blood pressure, my Ihad cankles on a permanent
(08:06):
basis because I was flying allthe time and I did not have a
lot of good circulation.
I couldn't stand for very long,but our trade shows required me
to stand for five days in a row.
So I was, you know, my lowerback hurt, I was very stressed,
I didn't sleep well because Iwas in hotels a lot.
There's just a huge amount ofstress.
So all of this just meant mybody was breaking down, and I
know that this is similar toyour story in a little bit of a
(08:28):
different way, because maybe theroot cause of the reason why
our bodies were breaking downmay be a slightly different.
Ultimately, they're breakingdown and this is a really
important point I want to make,because it's actually, I think,
what we're going to be talking alot about today.
It's actually, I think, whatwe're going to be talking a lot
about today.
That's all kind of how I endedup sick, but this is the thing.
My background is inpsychobiology, biochemistry,
(08:51):
neuroscience, anatomy andphysiology, and the seven years
I was with that life science jobyou know, keeping organs alive
outside of the body for researchand knowing I had to know all
of the organ systems.
I had to understand howeverything worked.
I had a lot of scientificknowledge about how the body is
supposed to work and I learned alot about how it was supposed
(09:12):
to work.
But when it came to my health,that was my career.
And then this is my health and,for whatever reason and this
kind of all kinds of, happens aswe grow up and we sort of just
believe a lot of the things thatwe're being indoctrinated with.
I thought, well, to lose weight,you eat less and move more, and
I didn't know, I didn't reallythink about the effect that
(09:33):
stress was having on my body,the fact that lack of sleep was
having on my body.
I just knew that.
I had a lot of anxiety, and Iwas freaking tired Right, and I
wasn't connecting it to all ofthe lifestyle factors that were
going to it, except that I knewthat it was my job, like I knew
that it was killing me.
I just didn't see a way out and, honestly, the way out took a
miracle from God I'm not goingto lie about that one, but it so
(09:57):
.
It got to the point, though,when that miracle happened and I
switched jobs at a completelydifferent field that I had no
business being in but excelledat, just by the grace of God,
they had a biggest loser contestand I did everything wrong.
I lost the weight, but I did itall wrong.
So you know what happens whenyou do that.
When you eat less and more andkill yourself, it all comes back
(10:19):
and your body gets stressed andmore, and so, fortunately it
wasn't at the end, more, but Iwas right back up at 175, um,
over and over and over again,and eventually I said why am I
trying to do this the wayeverybody else says to do it?
It's clearly doesn't work.
If it worked, none of us wouldhave a problem in the world,
because we are all doing it and,in fact, studies show that
people are exercise, they aremoving, they're doing all the
(10:42):
things that that people tellthem to do.
It's just that those thingsdon't actually solve the problem
right.
They do their short term fixesthat create a metabolic
adaptation that our body is sobrilliant that it says, oh, I
don't know that there's going tobe consistent energy in the
world for me, so I am going tobecome super efficient and I'm
not going to, I'm going to lowerthe energy availability to this
(11:03):
person.
There, they can sit on thecouch, it's fine, they don't
need to move and and I'll, I'llstore extra when it happens and
I'll make sure I gain weight andI'm.
That's, it's, it's energyconservation.
Like our body is just like oh,I'm just going to adapt for
survival.
It doesn't care about a beachbody.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Okay, you covered so much, so so much.
There's one thing I just lookedup.
Okay, I typed it in, googled itjust like we do.
The weight loss industry rightnow is worth over $200 billion a
year, yes, and they'reprojecting $896 billion by 2035.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah, largely due to the drugs.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Largely due to the drugs, but also because what
works for one doesn'tnecessarily work for the other,
and we've been sold this liethat eat less, move more.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I don't think it really works for anybody long
term.
Move more.
I don't think it really worksfor anybody long-term.
I mean somebody might look thin, that doesn't necessarily mean
they're healthy on the inside.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yes, All right, so I know somebody.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I've had clients who ate less and moved more and
looked this big and were havingso many symptoms of inflammation
in their body and pain and hotflashes and everything else
because they were dipping intotheir essential fat stores and
their body was absolutelypanicking and they looked
perfect.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I know, I know, I know, I know those people as
well and they're miserable.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
So I'm not sure.
And they are miserable becausethe brain isn't working well
either because of the lack offat in the body, like there's a
lot going on.
So much.
So I would.
I would argue that eat less,move more really just doesn't
work for anybody, because weightisn't the real and weight is a
symptom that some people get andothers don't.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Right Well, I just wanted to encourage anybody
listening, Like if you hearStephanie's story and you're
like, wow, that's kind ofsimilar to mine.
I mean I think there are morepeople who have a story like
ours, because the more I'mlistening to you, the more I'm
like, oh my gosh, this is mysister from a different mister,
for real, Like one of the thingsthat I said, and I said this so
(13:20):
long ago and it's still in mybrain.
I will know I've made it inlife when I can go to the
grocery store without a list andI can just buy whatever I want.
So food is a huge, huge thing.
It's very, it's so big, it's sobig.
It's not something we can justgloss over.
(13:43):
And the beliefs that we have,the thoughts that we have around
food, around eating, aroundweight, around our looks around
all of those things they matter.
So, like if you're hearingStephanie's story, if you've
heard my story, like you, you'rein the right place.
You're in the right place.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, and, and, and I have to say, um, the real straw
that broke the camel's backwhen I decided to, um, when I
changed my job, and then I, thisbiggest looter contest, right,
right, when all this washappening.
I mean, like I said, there wasa whole situation that happened
all at the same time.
I feel like God, you know, Iwas like a baby kitten and the
(14:24):
mom just picks them up by thescruff of the neck and puts them
over there and I feel likethat's what happened, and it had
to happen, and, and because I Ididn't want to be with my
husband, I didn't want him tohave the light on, I didn't want
to see myself.
I have hardly any pictures ofmyself at the time.
I was so embarrassed to existon the planet in my body, as if
(14:45):
that meant anything about myself-worth, and it doesn't, and
I think that's the big thing.
Yes, it matters.
I used to think, well, I'm justgoing to do this for a little
while and then I can go back toeating normal.
Normal is what got me sick inthe first place, so there is no
such thing.
But what happened in my wholeentire journey is that I changed
what I wanted in the store.
I do buy whatever I want in thestore.
(15:07):
What I want is different andit's truly what I want.
So that, all being said, is, Ifigured out how all this was
going to work.
I figured out what worked forme.
I did it on my own because I'ma researcher, because I'm a
scientist.
I was able to go back to thepapers.
I was able to read them.
I'm able to read very, verycomplicated things and
understand them, distill themand whatnot.
(15:29):
So I was able to do that for me.
But I was like, how is anybodyelse going to do this?
I had ended up in a startup inthis other industry and I was
working 80 hours a week.
I thought I just really can'tdo this, and some other changes
were happening in the companythat I wasn't really thrilled
with.
You know, I think God allowedthe situation to get very
uncomfortable because my momthen got diagnosed with cancer.
(15:52):
My daughter was having issues.
I needed to be there, and mymom then got diagnosed with
cancer.
My daughter was having issues.
I needed to be there and my momhad maybe a year left to live
and I needed to.
I needed to not be working 80hours a week.
I needed to take care of her.
I needed to take care of mydaughter because I found out she
was pregnant.
And I said what if I'm startingover what, what?
(16:14):
What lights me up?
What am I passionate about?
What do I care about?
And and I have a serious nerdygeeky bone I love the science
and, but I also have this driveto help people.
I really want to help peopleand I helped myself in this way
and I found I felt this big holehere and I thought is there
such thing as like a nutritioncoach or a health coach or
(16:35):
something like that?
And I looked it up and lo andbehold, it was there in two days
before my birthday.
I'm sitting down and I ended upgoing with Precision Nutrition.
I'm now a PN2 certified masterhealth coach on my way to
national board certificationhealth and wellness coaching.
So that's just a process.
I'm just still in that process,but I am a master health coach
(16:58):
and I that particular programwas closing its wait list, like
it was.
It was closing for enrollment.
It's got very tight enrollmentperiods on my birthday and I
thought, all right, a little bit, but everything about it was
what I needed.
So I'm, I was very thrilledwith that and I had said, okay,
(17:18):
well, in the next year I'm goingto, I'm going to start my
business.
And then I started a waffle andI was going to be like, well,
maybe I'll still consult, maybeI'll still do this.
You know I was nervous aboutwalking away from our income but
, honestly, I'm so passionateabout this.
I am so blessed to be able tohelp the women that I help,
because, uh, every single one ofthem ultimately ends up
(17:39):
realizing it's not all aboutweight, that weight is a side
effect of a body.
Out of I say balance.
There is no balance, there's a,there's a, there's a, there's a
homeostasis.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
There's harmony.
It's like a body out of harmony, because all of our systems are
meant to function together, andwhen they're not functioning
together, it's disharmony.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, it's disharmony and there is a balance, there
is a homeostasis, but it's in somany ways.
Our body has so many checks andbalances and so many of us are
out of whack.
It's like when you you knowit's.
It's really just a reallycomplicated thing that when you
throw a wrench in it, it allgoes off.
What's the wrench?
(18:20):
I'm going to tell you what Ibelieve the wrench is, and I
think that there's a lot ofresearch out there that suggests
this is the wrench, and I'llget into why you and I'd love
for you to challenge it.
I'd love for you to say well,what about this?
Does that count as that wrench?
Does this count as that wrench?
And then we'll see.
Maybe you'll trip me up.
I don't know, this could be funStress.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
And stress is a buzzword.
Stress is a buzzword.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
We get that.
So I'm going to tell you alittle bit more about that.
Yes, stress isn't just afeeling, it's not just what's
going on in your head.
It's not just feeling anxiousabout something.
When I'm talking about stress,I am talking about the original
definition.
Is stress being anything thatthrows your body out of
homeostasis?
(19:08):
Okay, and homeostasis isbalance Okay, that's just the
scientific word for a balance ofbusiness.
In your body there's lots ofkinds of stress, and all of the
kinds of stress I'm about tomention ultimately will throw
off the little, the littlecanary in the coal mine inside
(19:29):
of every single one of our cells.
We have thousands and thousandsand thousands of them
throughout our body.
It's called mitochondria.
Mitochondria are those littlecellular energy engines inside
each of our cells that keep usalive and going.
That's how I can move.
I can move and think andeverything because of my
mitochondria.
Mitochondria have two statescell defense mode under stress,
(19:52):
activated by all the kinds ofstress that I'm going to be
talking about and energyproduction, and you have a whole
bunch of them in your body, andhow you feel and how your body
you know how dis-eased you arehas to do a lot with what
proportion of those mitochondriaare in one mode or the other.
(20:16):
And so I know I'm gettingsciencey here, but trust me that
, if you just think about thefact that your body has the
ability to produce energy or toproduce inflammation, when a
mitochondria is in a stressedstate, in a threatened state,
its job is to create additionalinflammation in the body, to
prepare your body to react tothe stressor in the world.
(20:40):
And I'm going to give you guys alittle quiz, because there's a
number of different stressesthat you can have.
It isn't just any one of thosethat cause the problem.
It's when what we call theallostatic stress load, the
total amount of stress in yourbody, exceeds your ability to
heal from it, your ability toyou know.
So your, your, your, yourstress exceeds your healing and
(21:00):
so now you're no longer inharmony and you experience that
in all the ways.
Everything that, melissa, thatyou work on with your clients,
you know when, that, when, whenthey're in those states, that is
a high stress state.
Okay, so a lot of times theseare, you know that could be an
existential stress, right?
Hopelessness, despair, lack ofmeaning.
(21:21):
You know on that spiritual sideor existential side could be an
emotional stress from grief,anger, shame, fear, traumas that
maybe we don't even remember.
A mental stress, right, my jobcreated a huge amount of mental
stress, a huge amount ofemotional stress, a huge amount
of social stress, because socialstress is all about your
(21:42):
relationships, loneliness,rejection, lack of community.
All right, that's a real thing.
And let me tell you, when wetalk about the psychosocial
stress area emotional,existential, the psychosocial
stress area emotional,existential, social and mental
there are over 70,000 researchpapers that show how that type
of stress creates oxidativestress in our bodies that
(22:03):
affects our mitochondria.
So this is a real connection.
This stuff's not just in yourhead or your heart, it's in your
cells.
That's one part.
Then there's environmentalstress pollution cells that's
one part.
Then there's environmentalstress pollution, noise, toxins,
violence in your area, anunsafe environment to live in,
plastics, microplastics, likeanything like that.
Like environmental stress,there's also physical stress.
(22:26):
But physical stress is thingslike injury.
These are obvious Injury,illness, viral or bacterial,
parasitic, over training, overexercising, lack of sleep, under
nutrition, under eating oreating things that um cause
(22:48):
problems in your body.
Poor gut health you know acompromised gut from medications
.
You know a lot of medicationsor illnesses or other things.
There's so many things.
Stress compromises your gut.
There's lots of things thatcause a breakdown in the tight
junction in your gut.
When that happens, thatinflammation goes up in your
body.
Now you've got systemicinflammation.
(23:09):
Now you've got stress.
That happens in your cells,right?
So all of this stress, if youwere to say, you know, rate each
area of the stress, I'm goingto say them again and I want you
to write down on a piece ofpaper from us, on a scale of one
to seven, okay, what you feelyour level of stress is in each
(23:33):
of these areas, seven being high, one being low.
And then I'm going to add we'regoing to add them up at the end
and we're going to say, ifyou're in the green, yellow or
red danger zones, okay, on yourallostatic stress load.
Okay, you ready, all right,we're going to start with an
easy one Environmental stress.
(23:53):
This is how safe you are.
You know, for example, if youlive in an inner city, in a very
poor area and there's a lot ofviolence and you don't know if
there's going to be a gunshotwhen you walk out the door and
there's noise everywhere andtrains and smog and whatever,
that's poor environmental stress.
If you're in an abusive home,you know, or if you're in a home
(24:15):
that is very unclean, right, orhave a lot of animals that
aren't kept after you know, andnot all of these things are in
our control and some you know,but that is it.
That is where we're looking at.
If you feel very safe and yourenvironment is clean and orderly
and non-chaotic and you've gota roof over your head and
clothes on your back and food inyour clean and orderly and
non-chaotic, and you've got aroof over your head and clothes
on your back and food in yourhouse and you're feeling safe
(24:37):
and secure, then you've got lowenvironmental stress.
Okay, so that's a scale of oneto seven.
Now let's get into social stress.
Are you lonely?
Do you feel like there's a lotof rejection from others around
you?
Do you have a lot of stress inyour relationships with people
Could be work stress, like workrelationships as well with your
manager, with other people,coworkers.
(24:58):
If you have a lack of communityyou know you're not involved,
you don't see friends, you don'thave that kind of social
support then you've got a highsocial stress, which is about
you know closer to a seven,right, I was definitely high on
the social stress back in theday One is I am completely
(25:21):
supported by my community.
I'm very involved.
Maybe you're involved in achurch or a group of people at.
You know an assisted livinghome, or you're living in a dorm
.
You know an assisted livinghome or you're you're living in
a dorm, but do you have a strongsocial group and friends and
even within your house andcloseness with your family?
That's then we've gotexistential stress.
(25:44):
Okay, so a seven is hopelessness, despair, a lack of meaning.
I don't believe there's anypurpose in my life.
I don't know why I'm on planetearth, I don't care about
getting up every day, andsometimes people can feel that
this is very similar todepression and in fact, this can
(26:06):
be a root of a lot ofdepressive symptoms.
When you don't feel like youhave any reason, it's a high
level of existential stress.
You might not think that thatmatters, but your body sees that
as a threat for what it's worth.
You know, on a one very lowexistential stress, you feel
that you have a purpose in thisworld.
You believe that you werecreated for a reason.
(26:27):
You believe that there issomething more and bigger than
you, that is a rock, that's afoundation that doesn't move,
that you can rely on, that youhave a meaning, that there's a
meaning to your life, andwhether or not you believe in
God, or if you believe that thatmeaning is somewhere else, but
that it's something that you canhold on to, that doesn't move,
and that is a rock.
Emotional stress, again I saidgrief, anger, shame, fear,
(26:48):
trauma, loss.
That grief, that loss, you know.
So there's that emotionalstress, obviously.
One is I don't feel a lot ofthose, you know, negative
feelings.
I'm not there most of the time.
Seven, I'm there all the time,like I, just every day I'm an
(27:09):
emotional stress ball right andagain, lots of these things can
happen at the same time.
Then we've got mental stress.
So mental stress is interesting.
You're like, how's thatdifferent from emotional stress?
It is because we're talkingabout things like this
freneticness in your mind.
You're all over the place,you're very, very busy.
You've got decision fatigue.
You're like if somebody asksyou something at the end of the
(27:30):
day and you're like, oh my God,don't ask me another question, I
like I don't care.
Your battery in your brain isjust empty, your information
overload, your eyes are glossingover.
At the end of the day, you'vegot perfectionism.
Perfectionism is a huge driverof mental stress.
In the old fashioned talk oftype A personalities, type A
(27:53):
personalities tend to towardmental stress.
I used to call myself aworkaholic perfectionist, people
pleaser.
There's a lot of mental stresswhen you're putting that kind of
pressure on yourself to to beall the things to everybody in
the world, yeah.
So again, all these are on ascale of one to seven.
Physical stress is the last one.
(28:14):
Injury, like you've got aninjury, or if you especially if
it's chronic, you might have anillness.
Like you might have scoliosis,you might have a chronic immune
issue, you may have you know any, any kind of physical issue or
any kind of chronic pain.
Poor sleep is part of that.
Physical stress.
Improper exercise, soovertraining under eating, under
(28:43):
nourishing and under fuelingyour body or inappropriate
fueling.
So you know, if we don't haveenough vitamins and minerals and
the most essential nutrients inour body, it's going to be
stressed, right, you're puttingyour body in a state where it
has to make decisions onallocation of resources.
On a one to seven.
Okay.
So add them all up, add whatyou got.
If you are 12 or under, thenyou are in the green zone.
(29:08):
Okay, if you are 13 to 28,you're in that yellow zone,
caution is warranted and in fact, there's probably some work
that you need to do with someone.
Why am I talking about thisstress?
Right, I, just I, we let's goback to it.
So, all of this stress, ifyou're in that red zone, if
you're, if you're 29 or over, um, now you've got a real you're,
(29:31):
you're, I know you're feeling itevery day, like I know you're
feeling it every day.
My heart is going out to youright now because that is the
kind of situation that leadssyndrome package goes very
strongly with a high allostaticstress load and that and I can't
(29:58):
diagnose.
This is all information.
But if you have already beendiagnosed and you know you've
got fibromyalgia, restless leg,irritable bowel, chronic fatigue
syndrome, those are centralsensitivity disorders that are
highly related to an allostaticstress load that is very high.
But also cardiometabolicdisorders, high blood pressure,
um, and uh, you know, insulinresistance, uh, diabetes, uh,
(30:23):
type two diabetes, um, heartdisease, cop, like the bottom
line is where it comes out foryou is based on your genetic
weak link and you might think,oh, alzheimer's runs in my
family or this runs in my family.
What runs in your family isthese diseases are triggered
when there's a high level ofinflammation in my family.
There's actually quite a smallpercent where there's a.
(30:43):
It's only one or 2% of thepopulation that has something
that they can do nothing about.
That has no influence oflifestyle.
That is a true genetic issue.
Almost everything else like youmight have something like maybe
you've got a mother MTHFRmutation and you don't methylate
and you're bad with detoxingand this, and that there are
things you can do in yourlifestyle to actually
accommodate for that, simply bysupplementing differently.
(31:06):
And there's research out there.
So there's things you can doalmost always, and even I mean I
would say there's alwayssomething you can do to be the
boss of your health and to shoreup your foundations so that you
have the, that you'remaximizing your capability
physically under whatevercircumstance you are.
It doesn't mean that we'regoing to be the pinnacle of
(31:28):
health, but you can do somethingand and you I believe that
everybody can do something to toheal their body to the point
where their mitochondria arecoming out of cell defense mode
and into energy production modeand you get to live your life.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I think of the energizer bunny right, the, when
, the, when the battery diesdown and when they put in the
new battery.
That's what I think of when Ihear you talking about the
mitochondria.
So just picture the.
Energizer Bunny dying and thenputting in the new battery.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, Well, and that's how I used to explain, I
express myself because the way Ifelt, and I still very much
remember, right down into mytoes, how I felt back then, and
this was over seven years agonow and I want to tell you
remember, I told you my littleyo-yo story there for a while
and I had been struggling withmy weight on and off since I was
25.
Like it's just been all overthe place.
(32:22):
But for the last seven yearsplus, I have been exactly as I
am now my ideal weight and andand I do feel like the Energizer
Bunny and people are looking atme like I don't know how you
get all that done a day.
I can keep going, and you know,and it's not like I don't get
tired, I just go to bed when Ido, but um, but on a cellular
level you have more energy thanyou ever did before Than I ever
(32:46):
did, yeah, than I ever did.
And um, and I'm 50 this year, so, um I, so I have more energy
now and I can play with mygrandson in a way today that I
couldn't play with my kids whenthey were his age.
That's crazy.
I feel better in my body nowthan I did when I was 38.
And I get it.
(33:07):
People our age are goingthrough menopause, perimenopause
and all kinds of weird stuff ishappening and it's like I need
to take all the medicines or dothe things maybe, but I can tell
you that the reason all thosethings are happening is often
because estrogen is sort of thatprotective little nanny that
covers over a lot of bad habitsthat we may have had, that we
(33:28):
didn't know we had, because ourbody needed to be sure that it
could take care of children.
The nanny's gone and now we'reout on our own and all of a
sudden we're facing all theseconsequences of our actions.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Exactly, but it is not too late, it is, it's never
too late.
Not too late If you're feelingthe tug and you're like I'm
tired of living like this, Ican't do it anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
And what Stephanie is talking about you're like, oh
my gosh, that just makes so muchsense.
How can they find you?
I'm on Facebook.
I'm just Stephanie Pazniokas.
I am.
My Facebook group is be theboss, be well, and I have a gift
for you If you're interested.
We haven't really talked aboutit, but one of the biggest
problems that I know women ourage have, or people in general I
honestly everybody I know, hasthis problem my 17-year-old has
(34:16):
this problem.
Everybody has this problem.
Sleep yeah, you know yourcortisol has a circadian rhythm.
Your cortisol is one of thestress hormones.
If your stress is too high,your sleep's going to be
impacted.
If you don't get enough sleep,it actually causes your stress
to be even higher and it's asnowball right.
So?
But there's a lot of thingsthat we do behaviorally around
(34:39):
sleep that are severelyimpacting the quality and depth
of our sleep and our ability toheal and repair.
And so I've got a list of 20tips for better sleep that will
get you started and that willput you on my email list and
you're going to get the wholeentire sleep guide after a few
emails and I'm very open aboutwhat you got even in the first
(35:02):
email.
So here's the email you'regoing to get, and then, once a
week, I send you a whole bunchof gold.
All right, and it's not justhere's information.
Every single week, you have alittle mini action that you can
do.
That is going that you're goingto get to practice all week
long if you so choose, and it isgoing to help you with your
overall health.
That's be the boss giftcom, andI'll put that link into the show
(35:26):
notes as well, yeah, yeah, andmy Facebook group is be the boss
, be well.
That link will be in the shownotes and you know, know, if
you're not sure you want to dosomething, and and and another
thing that I have that I runregularly throughout the year.
It's called data-driven eating.
If you just want to be open toand curious and know if the food
you're eating and if the stressyou're having and if the sleep
(35:49):
you're getting or not getting ishelping you or harming you, we
get to look at your glucoselevels, because guess what your
metabolic health, that's whatyour mitochondria are.
But your mitochondria and yourglucose levels and all these
other things all affect yourmetabolism.
So what we get to look at is hey, is how I'm living helping me
(36:11):
or harming my metabolic health?
And, of course, is how I'mliving helping me or harming my
metabolic health?
And, of course, glucose levelscan tell us a lot, and it's not
just the level, it's the pattern.
I get to see a lot about whatyou're doing in your lifestyle
that you might be able to, andI'm not going to tell you what
to do.
I point you in the direction ofsome experiments.
You could say hmm, what if Itry this?
You've got control data.
You're going to do someexperiments that you get to eat,
(36:32):
because a lot of it'sfood-based, and you're going to
decide what they are.
And it's just fun.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So at the retreat that Stephanie and I met at,
someone was there who was doingher data-driven eating program
experiment and discover, evenjust in these short couple of
days, that we were together andseeing her excitement over being
able to see the immediateresult of her experiment was
(37:01):
really cool.
Now, if you've been listeningto the podcast for a while, you
know I care for my dad.
He's a type one diabetic.
I'm so totally familiar withthe continuous glucose
monitoring.
But to see someone who's usingit to experiment was really cool
.
Like my dad uses it to survive,but to see someone using it for
an experiment to see what foods, what activities, what it does
(37:25):
to me like in real time wickedcool.
So if you're and and what Ilove about Stephanie is she is a
scientist, it is all about theexperiment, it's about the
scientific method for her, thiswhole wellness journey, but it's
fun, it is fun.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Because it's an experiment.
It's not like, oh, I failedbecause I didn't do the thing.
It's like I learned somethingfrom that.
I learned that in thissituation, I don't do the thing
that I say I'm going to do.
How can we change it so that Iam more likely to do what I say
I'm going to do?
It's just, it's fun.
I am so sick and tired of thehealth and, you know,
perspective we all have is likeoh, my doctor said X, I've got
(38:04):
to go try this thing again.
I've got to do this horribleexercise that I hate my gosh.
How many of us are going tostick with something we hate
doing?
I'm not one.
I'm not Right.
So I really do believe thishealth journey gets to be fun.
It gets to be.
You know, it's a big learningjourney and you're getting to
figure out your perfectlifestyle that you were designed
(38:27):
to have.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Awesome.
Well, stephanie, thank you somuch for joining me on the show.
We could actually just continuetalking forever, I'm sure, but
again, if you're resonating witheverything that Coach Stephanie
is saying, I highly recommendyou click on the links in the
show notes.
Get connected with her, becomea part of her ecosystem, right,
(38:51):
become a part of the people wholisten to the things that she
has to say, because what she hasto say just makes so much sense
.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Thank you so much, Melissa.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Thanks so much for spending a little time with me
today on the Lemon Balm CoachingPodcast.
I hope you're walking away withsomething that sparks joy, hope
or a fresh perspective for yourjourney.
If you loved today's episode,let's keep the conversation
going.
You can find more inspiration,coaching tips and resources over
at my website,lemonbalmcoachingcom.
Don't forget to follow me onsocial media for encouragement
(39:28):
and updates, and you'll find meon Instagram and Facebook at
Lemon Balm Coaching.
And hey, if you're looking fora supportive, uplifting
community of amazing women justlike you, come join us in the
Reignite your Flame Facebookgroup.
It's a safe, welcoming spacewhere we share, grow and cheer
each other on, and you can findthe link on my website or just
search for Reignite your Flameon Facebook.
(39:49):
Remember, honey, just beyourself.
The world needs what only youhave to offer.
Take care and I'll see you inthe next episode.
Hey friends, if you had a chance to listen to the
last episode, you got to meet mygood friend, stephanie
Pasniokas, as she interviewed me.
But we're turning the tablestoday.
We're turning them back around,putting me in the host seat and
I'm going to be talking withher about all the things that
she has coming up and heramazing shift from neuroscience
(00:27):
to wellness coach.
And she's the founder of SJPHealth and Wellness, where
metabolism meets mind set, andshe helps busy women reclaim
energy, stabilize their bloodsugar and feel confident in
their bodies.
Using her signature boss modeframework, she combines brain
science, biochemistry and reallife tools to make sustainable
(00:50):
health feel simple and doablewithout dieting, without calorie
counting and without guilt.
Doesn't that sound incredible?
Whether you're juggling work,parenting or perimenopause, she
teaches you how to tune intoyour body, trust yourself and
take back your wellness.
Stephanie's clients walk awayfeeling clear-headed, energized
(01:22):
and empowered to live boss ontheir terms.
Are you ready for this?
Let's do it.
Welcome to the Lemon BalmCoaching Podcast, your cozy
corner of the world where we'llsip on life's lessons and
squeeze the most out of everymoment.
I'm Melissa, your coach,cheerleader and maybe even a
little bit like that mom whoalways has a warm hug and the
best advice waiting for you.
If you're a woman over 40,feeling like life's left you a
little lost, aimless ordownright stuck, you're in the
(01:44):
right place.
This is where your joy, yourfreedom and your purpose come
back into focus.
Together, we'll laugh, learnand rediscover what makes you
come alive.
Because it's not too late, thisis your time, so grab a cup of
something warm, settle in andlet's start creating the next
most beautiful chapter of yourlife together.
Start creating the next mostbeautiful chapter of your life
(02:06):
together.
Stephanie, thank you so much forjoining me on the Lemon Balm
Coaching Podcast.
We met we actually met inperson just a few months ago for
the very first time.
We had Zoomed before and I knewof you, you knew of me, but
when we met at this retreat thatwe both attended, it was like
for me at least, it was like, ohmy gosh, I found a long lost
(02:28):
sister.
It just felt like an immediateconnection and what you do and
what I do are just, I feel, likea perfect marriage of health
and life coaching.
So thank you so much forjoining me, being willing to
come on and share with mylisteners joining me, being
willing to come on and sharewith my listeners.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
It is my absolute pleasure, and I have to tell you
, I felt like I almost became afangirl.
When we met, I was just like,oh my gosh, I love you and I
feel like I've known you forever.
And every time we said the nextthing it's like oh my gosh, me
too.
Oh, and have you heard that?
Yes, and I mean our favoritebooks, everything and I thought
how are we only just meeting inlife now?
And it doesn't even feel likeit just happened, and so I'm
glad that that was the same,because it was quite amazing,
(03:11):
and I'm so excited to know thatyou're in my life period.
End of story.
You don't get a choice.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
And it's true, though you never know.
You meet somebody and you'relike, oh my gosh, I'm in love
with them.
They are the most amazingperson ever.
Oh, I hope they feel the sameabout me.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I know, right, it's so funny, but I am really really
happy to be here and you know,I love I, I love the, the
science and the health and andall of those sorts of things and
and and truly.
What you and I do are two sidesof the same coin and they're
just inextricable.
You just can't have one withoutthe other.
(03:50):
So I love it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Absolutely agree.
Now, one of the things that Ithink is very, very important is
the story.
So the very first question Ilove to ask my guests is how in
the world did you end up heredoing what you're doing in the
wellness field?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, so I'll try to keep thata little uh, abbreviated, but,
um, I think, apropos to the kindof work that you do, I need to
go back a little bit before thestart and talk a little bit
about my childhood, which youknow was the best my mom could
do at the time.
(04:30):
You know, my parents weredivorced when I was four.
That was a.
That's a.
That's a tough age for a childwho's in the process of bonding
to lose any parent.
You know it's.
It's a tough time.
So I had a lot of that on my onmy heart for a long time.
It took a long time for me tounderstand that that was a.
(04:50):
There was a root cause involvedin that.
I used to have nightmares allthe time throughout childhood,
all the way up until pastpuberty, of being abandoned and
having my family want to kill me, things like that, like I just
all of the people I love turningagainst me, and I didn't know
where that was from for a verylong time.
But my mom had, you know I'dborn in Massachusetts.
(05:12):
My mom actually took me awayfrom the rest of the family and
me and my brother and sisterdown to Florida.
We didn't have a lot of moneyand I was often hungry.
And when I did have anopportunity to eat other
people's food or go to a buffetor something like that, I
literally I overdid it to the.
I mean, I'm surprised mystomach didn't just burst
(05:35):
because I didn't know when thatkind of food was gonna be
available again.
And when we did go out to eat,which was occasional, we'd go
out to like a pizza place orwe'd go to some what I thought
were fancy restaurants Now Iknow they're not terribly fancy,
but they were fancy to me and Iwould have such great anxiety I
couldn't even make a choice onthe menu because and everybody
(05:57):
just said, well here, it is ahalf an hour for Stephanie to
figure out what she wants to eatBecause I was afraid I would
get the wrong thing and I wouldnever have a chance to have it
again to have the right thing.
You know what I'm saying.
So I just had all this anxietyaround it.
So anyway, fast forward to.
I am now an adult and I'mmaking money and I have the
ability to buy my own food.
(06:18):
Can you imagine what might'vehappened?
Can you imagine what might'vehappened when I had a job where
I had to travel all the time andI had to eat out on the company
dime and I would just orderwhatever.
So but let me tell you a littlebit more about that traveling
job, because I loved it.
(06:39):
I loved the job, I loved what Idid, but it was a very high
stress job.
I had to travel a lot.
I was traveling multiple timesper month.
Anywhere from two day trip to a14 day trip was my longest.
I had three small children andmy husband was often left home
taking care of them.
I missed potty training myyoungest entirely, and so I was
(07:00):
always trying to travel backhome to be with them.
And it got to the point where Iwasn't.
I had no time or energy to hangout with my friends.
I couldn't even go to churchanymore, because the one Sunday
a month I could go, it wasbecause I had to be in nursery,
because my kids were in nurseryand I had no choice but to
volunteer.
So I stopped going to churchbecause I couldn't even go to
the service and I was alone.
(07:24):
I was drinking too much wine atthe time.
That was my de-stressor and mybody was literally falling apart
.
So over that seven years, andeven before that, because when I
had my son, I ate a lot ofMcDonald's and I gained like 70
pounds with him and peoplethought I was having three.
I had to sell my car.
I couldn't get behind the wheel, so I had I I'm not a very tall
(07:44):
person as you, as you as youfound, I'm only five three and I
um, eventually, over the courseof of time, ended up at around
about 190 pounds.
So I was officially obese, um,and I had pre-diabetes.
I had high blood pressure, my Ihad cankles on a permanent
(08:06):
basis because I was flying allthe time and I did not have a
lot of good circulation.
I couldn't stand for very long,but our trade shows required me
to stand for five days in a row.
So I was, you know, my lowerback hurt, I was very stressed,
I didn't sleep well because Iwas in hotels a lot.
There's just a huge amount ofstress.
So all of this just meant mybody was breaking down, and I
know that this is similar toyour story in a little bit of a
(08:28):
different way, because maybe theroot cause of the reason why
our bodies were breaking downmay be a slightly different.
Ultimately, they're breakingdown and this is a really
important point I want to make,because it's actually, I think,
what we're going to be talking alot about today.
It's actually, I think, whatwe're going to be talking a lot
about today.
That's all kind of how I endedup sick, but this is the thing.
My background is inpsychobiology, biochemistry,
(08:51):
neuroscience, anatomy andphysiology, and the seven years
I was with that life science jobyou know, keeping organs alive
outside of the body for researchand knowing I had to know all
of the organ systems.
I had to understand howeverything worked.
I had a lot of scientificknowledge about how the body is
supposed to work and I learned alot about how it was supposed
(09:12):
to work.
But when it came to my health,that was my career.
And then this is my health and,for whatever reason and this
kind of all kinds of, happens aswe grow up and we sort of just
believe a lot of the things thatwe're being indoctrinated with.
I thought, well, to lose weight,you eat less and move more, and
I didn't know, I didn't reallythink about the effect that
(09:33):
stress was having on my body,the fact that lack of sleep was
having on my body.
I just knew that.
I had a lot of anxiety, and Iwas freaking tired Right, and I
wasn't connecting it to all ofthe lifestyle factors that were
going to it, except that I knewthat it was my job, like I knew
that it was killing me.
I just didn't see a way out and, honestly, the way out took a
miracle from God I'm not goingto lie about that one, but it so
(09:57):
.
It got to the point, though,when that miracle happened and I
switched jobs at a completelydifferent field that I had no
business being in but excelledat, just by the grace of God,
they had a biggest loser contestand I did everything wrong.
I lost the weight, but I did itall wrong.
So you know what happens whenyou do that.
When you eat less and more andkill yourself, it all comes back
(10:19):
and your body gets stressed andmore, and so, fortunately it
wasn't at the end, more, but Iwas right back up at 175, um,
over and over and over again,and eventually I said why am I
trying to do this the wayeverybody else says to do it?
It's clearly doesn't work.
If it worked, none of us wouldhave a problem in the world,
because we are all doing it and,in fact, studies show that
people are exercise, they aremoving, they're doing all the
(10:42):
things that that people tellthem to do.
It's just that those thingsdon't actually solve the problem
right.
They do their short term fixesthat create a metabolic
adaptation that our body is sobrilliant that it says, oh, I
don't know that there's going tobe consistent energy in the
world for me, so I am going tobecome super efficient and I'm
not going to, I'm going to lowerthe energy availability to this
(11:03):
person.
There, they can sit on thecouch, it's fine, they don't
need to move and and I'll, I'llstore extra when it happens and
I'll make sure I gain weight andI'm.
That's, it's, it's energyconservation.
Like our body is just like oh,I'm just going to adapt for
survival.
It doesn't care about a beachbody.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Okay, you covered so much, so so much.
There's one thing I just lookedup.
Okay, I typed it in, googled itjust like we do.
The weight loss industry rightnow is worth over $200 billion a
year, yes, and they'reprojecting $896 billion by 2035.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah, largely due to the drugs.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Largely due to the drugs, but also because what
works for one doesn'tnecessarily work for the other,
and we've been sold this liethat eat less, move more.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I don't think it really works for anybody long
term.
Move more.
I don't think it really worksfor anybody long-term.
I mean somebody might look thin, that doesn't necessarily mean
they're healthy on the inside.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yes, All right, so I know somebody.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I've had clients who ate less and moved more and
looked this big and were havingso many symptoms of inflammation
in their body and pain and hotflashes and everything else
because they were dipping intotheir essential fat stores and
their body was absolutelypanicking and they looked
perfect.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I know, I know, I know, I know those people as
well and they're miserable.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
So I'm not sure.
And they are miserable becausethe brain isn't working well
either because of the lack offat in the body, like there's a
lot going on.
So much.
So I would.
I would argue that eat less,move more really just doesn't
work for anybody, because weightisn't the real and weight is a
symptom that some people get andothers don't.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Right Well, I just wanted to encourage anybody
listening, Like if you hearStephanie's story and you're
like, wow, that's kind ofsimilar to mine.
I mean I think there are morepeople who have a story like
ours, because the more I'mlistening to you, the more I'm
like, oh my gosh, this is mysister from a different mister,
for real, Like one of the thingsthat I said, and I said this so
(13:20):
long ago and it's still in mybrain.
I will know I've made it inlife when I can go to the
grocery store without a list andI can just buy whatever I want.
So food is a huge, huge thing.
It's very, it's so big, it's sobig.
It's not something we can justgloss over.
(13:43):
And the beliefs that we have,the thoughts that we have around
food, around eating, aroundweight, around our looks around
all of those things they matter.
So, like if you're hearingStephanie's story, if you've
heard my story, like you, you'rein the right place.
You're in the right place.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, and, and, and I have to say, um, the real straw
that broke the camel's backwhen I decided to, um, when I
changed my job, and then I, thisbiggest looter contest, right,
right, when all this washappening.
I mean, like I said, there wasa whole situation that happened
all at the same time.
I feel like God, you know, Iwas like a baby kitten and the
(14:24):
mom just picks them up by thescruff of the neck and puts them
over there and I feel likethat's what happened, and it had
to happen, and, and because I Ididn't want to be with my
husband, I didn't want him tohave the light on, I didn't want
to see myself.
I have hardly any pictures ofmyself at the time.
I was so embarrassed to existon the planet in my body, as if
(14:45):
that meant anything about myself-worth, and it doesn't, and
I think that's the big thing.
Yes, it matters.
I used to think, well, I'm justgoing to do this for a little
while and then I can go back toeating normal.
Normal is what got me sick inthe first place, so there is no
such thing.
But what happened in my wholeentire journey is that I changed
what I wanted in the store.
I do buy whatever I want in thestore.
(15:07):
What I want is different andit's truly what I want.
So that, all being said, is, Ifigured out how all this was
going to work.
I figured out what worked forme.
I did it on my own because I'ma researcher, because I'm a
scientist.
I was able to go back to thepapers.
I was able to read them.
I'm able to read very, verycomplicated things and
understand them, distill themand whatnot.
(15:29):
So I was able to do that for me.
But I was like, how is anybodyelse going to do this?
I had ended up in a startup inthis other industry and I was
working 80 hours a week.
I thought I just really can'tdo this, and some other changes
were happening in the companythat I wasn't really thrilled
with.
You know, I think God allowedthe situation to get very
uncomfortable because my momthen got diagnosed with cancer.
(15:52):
My daughter was having issues.
I needed to be there, and mymom then got diagnosed with
cancer.
My daughter was having issues.
I needed to be there and my momhad maybe a year left to live
and I needed to.
I needed to not be working 80hours a week.
I needed to take care of her.
I needed to take care of mydaughter because I found out she
was pregnant.
And I said what if I'm startingover what, what?
(16:14):
What lights me up?
What am I passionate about?
What do I care about?
And and I have a serious nerdygeeky bone I love the science
and, but I also have this driveto help people.
I really want to help peopleand I helped myself in this way
and I found I felt this big holehere and I thought is there
such thing as like a nutritioncoach or a health coach or
(16:35):
something like that?
And I looked it up and lo andbehold, it was there in two days
before my birthday.
I'm sitting down and I ended upgoing with Precision Nutrition.
I'm now a PN2 certified masterhealth coach on my way to
national board certificationhealth and wellness coaching.
So that's just a process.
I'm just still in that process,but I am a master health coach
(16:58):
and I that particular programwas closing its wait list, like
it was.
It was closing for enrollment.
It's got very tight enrollmentperiods on my birthday and I
thought, all right, a little bit, but everything about it was
what I needed.
So I'm, I was very thrilledwith that and I had said, okay,
(17:18):
well, in the next year I'm goingto, I'm going to start my
business.
And then I started a waffle andI was going to be like, well,
maybe I'll still consult, maybeI'll still do this.
You know I was nervous aboutwalking away from our income but
, honestly, I'm so passionateabout this.
I am so blessed to be able tohelp the women that I help,
because, uh, every single one ofthem ultimately ends up
(17:39):
realizing it's not all aboutweight, that weight is a side
effect of a body.
Out of I say balance.
There is no balance, there's a,there's a, there's a, there's a
homeostasis.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
There's harmony.
It's like a body out of harmony, because all of our systems are
meant to function together, andwhen they're not functioning
together, it's disharmony.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, it's disharmony and there is a balance, there
is a homeostasis, but it's in somany ways.
Our body has so many checks andbalances and so many of us are
out of whack.
It's like when you you knowit's.
It's really just a reallycomplicated thing that when you
throw a wrench in it, it allgoes off.
What's the wrench?
(18:20):
I'm going to tell you what Ibelieve the wrench is, and I
think that there's a lot ofresearch out there that suggests
this is the wrench, and I'llget into why you and I'd love
for you to challenge it.
I'd love for you to say well,what about this?
Does that count as that wrench?
Does this count as that wrench?
And then we'll see.
Maybe you'll trip me up.
I don't know, this could be funStress.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
And stress is a buzzword.
Stress is a buzzword.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
We get that.
So I'm going to tell you alittle bit more about that.
Yes, stress isn't just afeeling, it's not just what's
going on in your head.
It's not just feeling anxiousabout something.
When I'm talking about stress,I am talking about the original
definition.
Is stress being anything thatthrows your body out of
homeostasis?
(19:08):
Okay, and homeostasis isbalance Okay, that's just the
scientific word for a balance ofbusiness.
In your body there's lots ofkinds of stress, and all of the
kinds of stress I'm about tomention ultimately will throw
off the little, the littlecanary in the coal mine inside
(19:29):
of every single one of our cells.
We have thousands and thousandsand thousands of them
throughout our body.
It's called mitochondria.
Mitochondria are those littlecellular energy engines inside
each of our cells that keep usalive and going.
That's how I can move.
I can move and think andeverything because of my
mitochondria.
Mitochondria have two statescell defense mode under stress,
(19:52):
activated by all the kinds ofstress that I'm going to be
talking about and energyproduction, and you have a whole
bunch of them in your body, andhow you feel and how your body
you know how dis-eased you arehas to do a lot with what
proportion of those mitochondriaare in one mode or the other.
(20:16):
And so I know I'm gettingsciencey here, but trust me that
, if you just think about thefact that your body has the
ability to produce energy or toproduce inflammation, when a
mitochondria is in a stressedstate, in a threatened state,
its job is to create additionalinflammation in the body, to
prepare your body to react tothe stressor in the world.
(20:40):
And I'm going to give you guys alittle quiz, because there's a
number of different stressesthat you can have.
It isn't just any one of thosethat cause the problem.
It's when what we call theallostatic stress load, the
total amount of stress in yourbody, exceeds your ability to
heal from it, your ability toyou know.
So your, your, your, yourstress exceeds your healing and
(21:00):
so now you're no longer inharmony and you experience that
in all the ways.
Everything that, melissa, thatyou work on with your clients,
you know when, that, when, whenthey're in those states, that is
a high stress state.
Okay, so a lot of times theseare, you know that could be an
existential stress, right?
Hopelessness, despair, lack ofmeaning.
(21:21):
You know on that spiritual sideor existential side could be an
emotional stress from grief,anger, shame, fear, traumas that
maybe we don't even remember.
A mental stress, right, my jobcreated a huge amount of mental
stress, a huge amount ofemotional stress, a huge amount
of social stress, because socialstress is all about your
(21:42):
relationships, loneliness,rejection, lack of community.
All right, that's a real thing.
And let me tell you, when wetalk about the psychosocial
stress area emotional,existential, the psychosocial
stress area emotional,existential, social and mental
there are over 70,000 researchpapers that show how that type
of stress creates oxidativestress in our bodies that
(22:03):
affects our mitochondria.
So this is a real connection.
This stuff's not just in yourhead or your heart, it's in your
cells.
That's one part.
Then there's environmentalstress pollution cells that's
one part.
Then there's environmentalstress pollution, noise, toxins,
violence in your area, anunsafe environment to live in,
plastics, microplastics, likeanything like that.
Like environmental stress,there's also physical stress.
(22:26):
But physical stress is thingslike injury.
These are obvious Injury,illness, viral or bacterial,
parasitic, over training, overexercising, lack of sleep, under
nutrition, under eating oreating things that um cause
(22:48):
problems in your body.
Poor gut health you know acompromised gut from medications
.
You know a lot of medicationsor illnesses or other things.
There's so many things.
Stress compromises your gut.
There's lots of things thatcause a breakdown in the tight
junction in your gut.
When that happens, thatinflammation goes up in your
body.
Now you've got systemicinflammation.
(23:09):
Now you've got stress.
That happens in your cells,right?
So all of this stress, if youwere to say, you know, rate each
area of the stress, I'm goingto say them again and I want you
to write down on a piece ofpaper from us, on a scale of one
to seven, okay, what you feelyour level of stress is in each
(23:33):
of these areas, seven being high, one being low.
And then I'm going to add we'regoing to add them up at the end
and we're going to say, ifyou're in the green, yellow or
red danger zones, okay, on yourallostatic stress load.
Okay, you ready, all right,we're going to start with an
easy one Environmental stress.
(23:53):
This is how safe you are.
You know, for example, if youlive in an inner city, in a very
poor area and there's a lot ofviolence and you don't know if
there's going to be a gunshotwhen you walk out the door and
there's noise everywhere andtrains and smog and whatever,
that's poor environmental stress.
If you're in an abusive home,you know, or if you're in a home
(24:15):
that is very unclean, right, orhave a lot of animals that
aren't kept after you know, andnot all of these things are in
our control and some you know,but that is it.
That is where we're looking at.
If you feel very safe and yourenvironment is clean and orderly
and non-chaotic and you've gota roof over your head and
clothes on your back and food inyour clean and orderly and
non-chaotic, and you've got aroof over your head and clothes
on your back and food in yourhouse and you're feeling safe
(24:37):
and secure, then you've got lowenvironmental stress.
Okay, so that's a scale of oneto seven.
Now let's get into social stress.
Are you lonely?
Do you feel like there's a lotof rejection from others around
you?
Do you have a lot of stress inyour relationships with people
Could be work stress, like workrelationships as well with your
manager, with other people,coworkers.
(24:58):
If you have a lack of communityyou know you're not involved,
you don't see friends, you don'thave that kind of social
support then you've got a highsocial stress, which is about
you know closer to a seven,right, I was definitely high on
the social stress back in theday One is I am completely
(25:21):
supported by my community.
I'm very involved.
Maybe you're involved in achurch or a group of people at.
You know an assisted livinghome, or you're living in a dorm
.
You know an assisted livinghome or you're you're living in
a dorm, but do you have a strongsocial group and friends and
even within your house andcloseness with your family?
That's then we've gotexistential stress.
(25:44):
Okay, so a seven is hopelessness, despair, a lack of meaning.
I don't believe there's anypurpose in my life.
I don't know why I'm on planetearth, I don't care about
getting up every day, andsometimes people can feel that
this is very similar todepression and in fact, this can
(26:06):
be a root of a lot ofdepressive symptoms.
When you don't feel like youhave any reason, it's a high
level of existential stress.
You might not think that thatmatters, but your body sees that
as a threat for what it's worth.
You know, on a one very lowexistential stress, you feel
that you have a purpose in thisworld.
You believe that you werecreated for a reason.
(26:27):
You believe that there issomething more and bigger than
you, that is a rock, that's afoundation that doesn't move,
that you can rely on, that youhave a meaning, that there's a
meaning to your life, andwhether or not you believe in
God, or if you believe that thatmeaning is somewhere else, but
that it's something that you canhold on to, that doesn't move,
and that is a rock.
Emotional stress, again I saidgrief, anger, shame, fear,
(26:48):
trauma, loss.
That grief, that loss, you know.
So there's that emotionalstress, obviously.
One is I don't feel a lot ofthose, you know, negative
feelings.
I'm not there most of the time.
Seven, I'm there all the time,like I, just every day I'm an
(27:09):
emotional stress ball right andagain, lots of these things can
happen at the same time.
Then we've got mental stress.
So mental stress is interesting.
You're like, how's thatdifferent from emotional stress?
It is because we're talkingabout things like this
freneticness in your mind.
You're all over the place,you're very, very busy.
You've got decision fatigue.
You're like if somebody asksyou something at the end of the
(27:30):
day and you're like, oh my God,don't ask me another question, I
like I don't care.
Your battery in your brain isjust empty, your information
overload, your eyes are glossingover.
At the end of the day, you'vegot perfectionism.
Perfectionism is a huge driverof mental stress.
In the old fashioned talk oftype A personalities, type A
(27:53):
personalities tend to towardmental stress.
I used to call myself aworkaholic perfectionist, people
pleaser.
There's a lot of mental stresswhen you're putting that kind of
pressure on yourself to to beall the things to everybody in
the world, yeah.
So again, all these are on ascale of one to seven.
Physical stress is the last one.
(28:14):
Injury, like you've got aninjury, or if you especially if
it's chronic, you might have anillness.
Like you might have scoliosis,you might have a chronic immune
issue, you may have you know any, any kind of physical issue or
any kind of chronic pain.
Poor sleep is part of that.
Physical stress.
Improper exercise, soovertraining under eating, under
(28:43):
nourishing and under fuelingyour body or inappropriate
fueling.
So you know, if we don't haveenough vitamins and minerals and
the most essential nutrients inour body, it's going to be
stressed, right, you're puttingyour body in a state where it
has to make decisions onallocation of resources.
On a one to seven.
Okay.
So add them all up, add whatyou got.
If you are 12 or under, thenyou are in the green zone.
(29:08):
Okay, if you are 13 to 28,you're in that yellow zone,
caution is warranted and in fact, there's probably some work
that you need to do with someone.
Why am I talking about thisstress?
Right, I, just I, we let's goback to it.
So, all of this stress, ifyou're in that red zone, if
you're, if you're 29 or over, um, now you've got a real you're,
(29:31):
you're, I know you're feeling itevery day, like I know you're
feeling it every day.
My heart is going out to youright now because that is the
kind of situation that leadssyndrome package goes very
strongly with a high allostaticstress load and that and I can't
(29:58):
diagnose.
This is all information.
But if you have already beendiagnosed and you know you've
got fibromyalgia, restless leg,irritable bowel, chronic fatigue
syndrome, those are centralsensitivity disorders that are
highly related to an allostaticstress load that is very high.
But also cardiometabolicdisorders, high blood pressure,
um, and uh, you know, insulinresistance, uh, diabetes, uh,
(30:23):
type two diabetes, um, heartdisease, cop, like the bottom
line is where it comes out foryou is based on your genetic
weak link and you might think,oh, alzheimer's runs in my
family or this runs in my family.
What runs in your family isthese diseases are triggered
when there's a high level ofinflammation in my family.
There's actually quite a smallpercent where there's a.
(30:43):
It's only one or 2% of thepopulation that has something
that they can do nothing about.
That has no influence oflifestyle.
That is a true genetic issue.
Almost everything else like youmight have something like maybe
you've got a mother MTHFRmutation and you don't methylate
and you're bad with detoxingand this, and that there are
things you can do in yourlifestyle to actually
accommodate for that, simply bysupplementing differently.
(31:06):
And there's research out there.
So there's things you can doalmost always, and even I mean I
would say there's alwayssomething you can do to be the
boss of your health and to shoreup your foundations so that you
have the, that you'remaximizing your capability
physically under whatevercircumstance you are.
It doesn't mean that we'regoing to be the pinnacle of
(31:28):
health, but you can do somethingand and you I believe that
everybody can do something to toheal their body to the point
where their mitochondria arecoming out of cell defense mode
and into energy production modeand you get to live your life.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I think of the energizer bunny right, the, when
, the, when the battery diesdown and when they put in the
new battery.
That's what I think of when Ihear you talking about the
mitochondria.
So just picture the.
Energizer Bunny dying and thenputting in the new battery.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, Well, and that's how I used to explain, I
express myself because the way Ifelt, and I still very much
remember, right down into mytoes, how I felt back then, and
this was over seven years agonow and I want to tell you
remember, I told you my littleyo-yo story there for a while
and I had been struggling withmy weight on and off since I was
25.
Like it's just been all overthe place.
(32:22):
But for the last seven yearsplus, I have been exactly as I
am now my ideal weight and andand I do feel like the Energizer
Bunny and people are looking atme like I don't know how you
get all that done a day.
I can keep going, and you know,and it's not like I don't get
tired, I just go to bed when Ido, but um, but on a cellular
level you have more energy thanyou ever did before Than I ever
(32:46):
did, yeah, than I ever did.
And um, and I'm 50 this year, so, um I, so I have more energy
now and I can play with mygrandson in a way today that I
couldn't play with my kids whenthey were his age.
That's crazy.
I feel better in my body nowthan I did when I was 38.
And I get it.
(33:07):
People our age are goingthrough menopause, perimenopause
and all kinds of weird stuff ishappening and it's like I need
to take all the medicines or dothe things maybe, but I can tell
you that the reason all thosethings are happening is often
because estrogen is sort of thatprotective little nanny that
covers over a lot of bad habitsthat we may have had, that we
(33:28):
didn't know we had, because ourbody needed to be sure that it
could take care of children.
The nanny's gone and now we'reout on our own and all of a
sudden we're facing all theseconsequences of our actions.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Exactly, but it is not too late, it is, it's never
too late.
Not too late If you're feelingthe tug and you're like I'm
tired of living like this, Ican't do it anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
And what Stephanie is talking about you're like, oh
my gosh, that just makes so muchsense.
How can they find you?
I'm on Facebook.
I'm just Stephanie Pazniokas.
I am.
My Facebook group is be theboss, be well, and I have a gift
for you If you're interested.
We haven't really talked aboutit, but one of the biggest
problems that I know women ourage have, or people in general I
honestly everybody I know, hasthis problem my 17-year-old has
(34:16):
this problem.
Everybody has this problem.
Sleep yeah, you know yourcortisol has a circadian rhythm.
Your cortisol is one of thestress hormones.
If your stress is too high,your sleep's going to be
impacted.
If you don't get enough sleep,it actually causes your stress
to be even higher and it's asnowball right.
So?
But there's a lot of thingsthat we do behaviorally around
(34:39):
sleep that are severelyimpacting the quality and depth
of our sleep and our ability toheal and repair.
And so I've got a list of 20tips for better sleep that will
get you started and that willput you on my email list and
you're going to get the wholeentire sleep guide after a few
emails and I'm very open aboutwhat you got even in the first
(35:02):
email.
So here's the email you'regoing to get, and then, once a
week, I send you a whole bunchof gold.
All right, and it's not justhere's information.
Every single week, you have alittle mini action that you can
do.
That is going that you're goingto get to practice all week
long if you so choose, and it isgoing to help you with your
overall health.
That's be the boss giftcom, andI'll put that link into the show
(35:26):
notes as well, yeah, yeah, andmy Facebook group is be the boss
, be well.
That link will be in the shownotes and you know, know, if
you're not sure you want to dosomething, and and and another
thing that I have that I runregularly throughout the year.
It's called data-driven eating.
If you just want to be open toand curious and know if the food
you're eating and if the stressyou're having and if the sleep
(35:49):
you're getting or not getting ishelping you or harming you, we
get to look at your glucoselevels, because guess what your
metabolic health, that's whatyour mitochondria are.
But your mitochondria and yourglucose levels and all these
other things all affect yourmetabolism.
So what we get to look at is hey, is how I'm living helping me
(36:11):
or harming my metabolic health?
And, of course, is how I'mliving helping me or harming my
metabolic health?
And, of course, glucose levelscan tell us a lot, and it's not
just the level, it's the pattern.
I get to see a lot about whatyou're doing in your lifestyle
that you might be able to, andI'm not going to tell you what
to do.
I point you in the direction ofsome experiments.
You could say hmm, what if Itry this?
You've got control data.
You're going to do someexperiments that you get to eat,
(36:32):
because a lot of it'sfood-based, and you're going to
decide what they are.
And it's just fun.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So at the retreat that Stephanie and I met at,
someone was there who was doingher data-driven eating program
experiment and discover, evenjust in these short couple of
days, that we were together andseeing her excitement over being
able to see the immediateresult of her experiment was
(37:01):
really cool.
Now, if you've been listeningto the podcast for a while, you
know I care for my dad.
He's a type one diabetic.
I'm so totally familiar withthe continuous glucose
monitoring.
But to see someone who's usingit to experiment was really cool
.
Like my dad uses it to survive,but to see someone using it for
an experiment to see what foods, what activities, what it does
(37:25):
to me like in real time wickedcool.
So if you're and and what Ilove about Stephanie is she is a
scientist, it is all about theexperiment, it's about the
scientific method for her, thiswhole wellness journey, but it's
fun, it is fun.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Because it's an experiment.
It's not like, oh, I failedbecause I didn't do the thing.
It's like I learned somethingfrom that.
I learned that in thissituation, I don't do the thing
that I say I'm going to do.
How can we change it so that Iam more likely to do what I say
I'm going to do?
It's just, it's fun.
I am so sick and tired of thehealth and, you know,
perspective we all have is likeoh, my doctor said X, I've got
(38:04):
to go try this thing again.
I've got to do this horribleexercise that I hate my gosh.
How many of us are going tostick with something we hate
doing?
I'm not one.
I'm not Right.
So I really do believe thishealth journey gets to be fun.
It gets to be.
You know, it's a big learningjourney and you're getting to
figure out your perfectlifestyle that you were designed
(38:27):
to have.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Awesome.
Well, stephanie, thank you somuch for joining me on the show.
We could actually just continuetalking forever, I'm sure, but
again, if you're resonating witheverything that Coach Stephanie
is saying, I highly recommendyou click on the links in the
show notes.
Get connected with her, becomea part of her ecosystem, right,
(38:51):
become a part of the people wholisten to the things that she
has to say, because what she hasto say just makes so much sense
.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Thank you so much, Melissa.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Thanks so much for spending a little time with me
today on the Lemon Balm CoachingPodcast.
I hope you're walking away withsomething that sparks joy, hope
or a fresh perspective for yourjourney.
If you loved today's episode,let's keep the conversation
going.
You can find more inspiration,coaching tips and resources over
at my website,lemonbalmcoachingcom.
Don't forget to follow me onsocial media for encouragement
(39:28):
and updates, and you'll find meon Instagram and Facebook at
Lemon Balm Coaching.
And hey, if you're looking fora supportive, uplifting
community of amazing women justlike you, come join us in the
Reignite your Flame Facebookgroup.
It's a safe, welcoming spacewhere we share, grow and cheer
each other on, and you can findthe link on my website or just
search for Reignite your Flameon Facebook.
(39:49):
Remember, honey, just beyourself.
The world needs what only youhave to offer.
Take care and I'll see you inthe next episode.
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