July 25, 2024 • 15 mins
Diary-style. Just you and me. What I'm thinking and feeling... and what might be next for us.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
La La La La La La la leonie dos.And she?
Refuses to be. Categorized friends, this is
just me, not in the studio, not with beloved Maddie, just by
myself. I have something to share with
(00:22):
you and so I am just going old school with this.
Hello. Hello beautiful friend.
So I have a bit of a personal sharing that I wanted to share
with you. It's probably just going to be
one of those longer year old fashioned meandering style ones,
a diary style of what I'm up to,what I'm thinking and feeling.
(00:45):
All those good things for me, like to be honest, like 2024 is
nothing like I thought it was going to be.
All the goals and plans that I had in a lot of ways are no
longer right for me for right now.
And instead I'm in this process of creating a new vision, one
(01:06):
that feels really unexpected andsurprising.
And I think if I had to give up on those goals like this last
year, it would probably have made a pretty big impact on my
self esteem because last year itwas the first time that I
actually struggled with self esteem.
And what a blessing to have forgotten 40 years in life
(01:27):
without really feeling impacts to my self esteem.
So last year was a definitely ananomaly.
And for a little while there, I was really hard on myself in
feeling like I'd made mistakes in some of my decisions in the
past. And thankfully I, my two
(01:48):
assistants, had a little bit of an intervention and they were
like, hey, you're like spiralling, what do you need to
do? And I end up going back to doing
regular kinesiology work with mydarling friend and mentor, Kerry
Rowett from Awakened Kinesiology.
And that helped enormously. And I remember caring saying,
(02:11):
Carrie, saying to me, instead oftelling yourself the story, that
this means that you can't trust your own decisions.
What if you recognize that you made good decisions based on the
information that you had at the time?
And then when new information comes to light, you make a
different decision? You can't control what other
(02:33):
people do. You can't magically intuit how
they're going to behave in the future.
You could only make decisions based on the information that
you have right now. Powerful, right?
So powerful. And I'm so grateful for the work
that we've done together. And so even though this first
(02:54):
half of the year has been intense for me, my insight self
feels mostly unrattled. Thankfully, all I'm doing is
seeing what new information lifeis presenting to me and working
with that instead. There has been moments in the
past six months or so where I felt like a professional
(03:15):
firefighter, where so much of mytime and my energy is needed to
put out the latest fire. And so often what is needed is
love and boundaries and clarity.And I don't like to, you know,
vague blog, but I also can't share many parts of exactly
what's been happening because it's life stuff for me.
(03:36):
And they involve other people, and I don't like to write other
people's stories for them. My business has been a joyful,
just rolling along doing its magical thing.
And I'm very, very grateful. It's just the life stuff that's
been a lot. It's been a lot on many fronts
(03:56):
with extended family difficulties and school
challenges for both my kids. And like being middle-aged is a
lot like the sandwich generationera has sandwiched hard for me.
And all of that's kind of been abig shake up in terms of US re
evaluating where we are now and what's needed next.
(04:18):
And for those who've been aroundthese parts for a while, you
might know where this might be heading because yes, looks like
we're moving again. We have been here on the
Sunshine Coast for six years nowand I feel so, so grateful for
our time here. I've met some beautiful humans,
especially my local business Goddess Circle with Tash Corman,
(04:40):
Tash Corbin, Bridget Esslemont, Amanda Rootzi, Maddie Beaufort,
Castella, and Claire O'Reilly aswell, and I will eternally
cackle when I think about like my two Scorpio Fest weekends
away with my beloved girlfriends.
I'm grateful that I also got to homeschool here for a wee while
(05:02):
with this incredible homeschooling community and that
my kids got to experience four years of alternative schooling
that they really adore, and I'm very grateful for that.
I am also grateful that my kids really got to have time with
their grandparents here, but with my dad and my husband's
(05:24):
parents as well. And one of the big reasons we
moved here was for them to be able to connect more with their
ancestors. And I feel like we've been able
to do that for them and I feel very grateful for that.
I've also really adored getting to know this land, the magic of
its rivers and the long swathes of beaches and tea trees and the
(05:47):
black cockatoos. I feel enormously lucky that we
got to live through the pandemichere in the safe bubble that QLD
provided, and that we did it while being able to live on an
acreage. In my heart, I think I'm always
going to remember the moment of during the pandemic, I went for
a bike ride with my kids and there was this enormous
(06:11):
butterfly migration. Like I've I've never seen
anything like it before. Millions of butterflies were
dancing through the air and it kept on coming for weeks.
And I just remember riding down the road on a bicycle and the
road was empty and these just flying in a flock of
butterflies. While there was so much
(06:33):
uncertainty and anxiety and grief emanating around the globe
in those early days of the pandemic.
That vast flock of butterflies and that one small bike ride
with my little loves was one of the most exquisite things that
I've ever borne witness to. When we moved here, we had
younger kids, we had an 8 year old and a four year old.
(06:55):
And our dream for was for us to be able to raise them on acreage
with connection to their grandparents and to live like a
sea, change tree change life with them.
And it feels like we've been able to do that.
And I'm so, so proud of us for making that happen.
And now, just like that, in a split second and in eternity, we
(07:16):
have older kids. Our 14 year old has only four
years left to school. Our youngest is now 10.
And our vision for what's next is changing.
We've been wondering for a whilenow what happens next after
school for our eldest. And for all its beauty, a sea or
tree change often doesn't alwaysgive young adults many options
(07:39):
when it comes to further education or starting careers.
For lots of families, they're happy to either work with what's
available locally or for their kids to move to the big smoke
for university or work. And I know when I was growing up
in a rural location that moving away was the only option
available to me. For us though, we are a pretty
(08:00):
close knit little bunch and one of our highest values is family
time and being connected with our kids.
And I found myself feeling feeling really jealous of
friends who lived in locations where their kids could live at
home if they wanted to while going to university or starting
their careers. And with my business, we are
(08:22):
location independent, we can live anywhere.
So if we had the opportunity to be able to have more years with
our kids as young adults, like why wouldn't we?
So with all of that in mind, theanswer was pretty clear to us
that we were ready to move back to Canberra.
This is going to be our third time moving to Canberra.
(08:43):
It might not be biologically outborn like our biologically
born hometown, but it has definitely become one for us.
It is hard to tell people about cameras sometimes.
Probably because if you tell most Australians that you're
wanting to move to Canberra fromthe Sunshine Coast, they think
you are nuts. For most Australians, they think
(09:06):
camera is cold or boring or both.
And they're right about it beingcold.
Of course, like we Australians tend to be a largely cold,
adverse lot, with warmer weatherbeing seen as like the gold
standard for lifestyle. Whereas I happen to have a
husband whose smile widens the closer it gets to 0°.
(09:26):
And I have one kid who clearly inherited his cold living jeans.
She's the kid who wishes that she could wear jumpers and jeans
year round, who hates the beach and fantasizes about living in
Finland. So for me and my other kid,
however, we're just happy to be wherever we are.
I'm always fascinated by like, the public opinion of Canberra
(09:49):
being boring. Here's this like beautifully
planned city with less than halfa million people that has some
of the country's best cultural attractions.
Some of my favorite places on Earth are there.
Where else can you spend a delightful day just meandering
from the National Library of Australia to the National
(10:09):
Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery?
Like, I kept such a little artsynerd boner just thinking of it.
And then of course, there's a zoo on Crestacon, an old
Parliament House in Golden Greenand Gold Creek Village and
Lanyon and all the other things.Some people adore the War
Memorial but it totally gives methe big SAD so I tend to skip
(10:30):
that one. Socio economically like it's
also like a very fascinating place to.
Canberra has the most highly educated population in
Australia. It also happens to be the most
left-leaning state as well. It topped the nation in voting
for same sex marriage in 2018. Its chief minister of 10 years
is the first and only Australianhead of government to identify
(10:54):
as LGBTQIA. Plus, it is one of the top five
most sustainable cities in the world, and it was the first city
outside of Europe to achieve a 100% renewable energy supply.
And it also happens to be the world's best at world of the
game because that's really important too, that side.
(11:16):
There's this real nature magic of Canberra.
I think 90% of the hiking I've done in my life has been there.
Maybe it's because there are walking trails spread through
most of the suburbs that wind around the hills and the sky.
Maybe it's because Canberra has my beloved Tippin Villa National
Park, which is just the jewel ofmy heart and a long term love.
(11:41):
Maybe it's the soft sage hues ofthe Alpine land set wild against
cornflower blue skies. Or maybe most of all, it's
because the nature spirits feel so deeply kind and welcoming
there. All of this and more.
Maybe it's also because it's notfriggin hot most of the year, so
(12:03):
it's always beautiful weather for hiking.
I guess the thing with Canberra is that it's a peculiar kind of
magic. It only enchants certain people
and the love story eludes others.
And that's probably for the best, because otherwise it would
be overrun with too many humans.For me, Canberra has always been
(12:24):
a place that's felt soft and loving and kind to me and my
love. Canberra has gifted us both so
much. It also means returning to our
community of dear friends who'vebecome family after decades of
love. I have complicated and sometimes
strained relationships with my family of origin, but we have
(12:45):
really good and easy and solid community with our Canberra folk
and it's going to be a really lovely homecoming to be nestled
among them again. For our kids, camera also means
lots of great options for finishing their schooling and
doing university, if that's whatthey're called to.
It means lots of job opportunities and possibilities
for them to start out as adults.Will it be a forever place?
(13:09):
Like, I doubt it. I don't know.
I doubt that about any place. If we want to move again, we
totally will. There's still so many places to
get to know and love people. If I ask with the amount of
moving I don't do, do I love moving?
And I don't love like, the actual physical act of packing
and unpacking, of course. But otherwise, yeah, I kind of
(13:33):
do. I love getting to fall in love
with a new home and explore it and get to experience the energy
of and beauty of new areas. It's kind of like slow
travelling for years of restlessunknowing.
It bothered me that I didn't truly know where home was before
realizing I just happened to have a really large one.
(13:55):
My country is my home, my love story's with Australia and I
feel so damn blessed that we've been able to live and love so
many parts of it over the years,from the rainforest wilderness
of far North Queensland to the windswept glory of Tasmania and
all of the jewels between. I feel so lucky that with my
(14:17):
business, we've been able to move when we've wanted and
needed to. It's funny, like I've really
hesitating sharing all of this because we haven't yet bought a
house in Canberra. We haven't set the move date
yet. Who knows what might happen?
The wind may change, we might decide to stay here, we might
decide somewhere else completely.
And that's OK. For right now, the winds of
(14:39):
change are pulling and this is where it's looking to take us.
I just want to say thank you, asalways, for sharing this
whining, stunning, wild journey with me.
I can't wait to share what's next and what's unfolding with
you. And I'm so deeply grateful to
have path companions like you beside me.
(15:03):
That's the end of the show. Wasn't.
It a great show. I love your love.
La La La La La La la leonie dos.And she?
Refuses to be. Categorized friends, this is
just me, not in the studio, not with beloved Maddie, just by
myself. I have something to share with
(00:22):
you and so I am just going old school with this.
Hello. Hello beautiful friend.
So I have a bit of a personal sharing that I wanted to share
with you. It's probably just going to be
one of those longer year old fashioned meandering style ones,
a diary style of what I'm up to,what I'm thinking and feeling.
(00:45):
All those good things for me, like to be honest, like 2024 is
nothing like I thought it was going to be.
All the goals and plans that I had in a lot of ways are no
longer right for me for right now.
And instead I'm in this process of creating a new vision, one
(01:06):
that feels really unexpected andsurprising.
And I think if I had to give up on those goals like this last
year, it would probably have made a pretty big impact on my
self esteem because last year itwas the first time that I
actually struggled with self esteem.
And what a blessing to have forgotten 40 years in life
(01:27):
without really feeling impacts to my self esteem.
So last year was a definitely ananomaly.
And for a little while there, I was really hard on myself in
feeling like I'd made mistakes in some of my decisions in the
past. And thankfully I, my two
(01:48):
assistants, had a little bit of an intervention and they were
like, hey, you're like spiralling, what do you need to
do? And I end up going back to doing
regular kinesiology work with mydarling friend and mentor, Kerry
Rowett from Awakened Kinesiology.
And that helped enormously. And I remember caring saying,
(02:11):
Carrie, saying to me, instead oftelling yourself the story, that
this means that you can't trust your own decisions.
What if you recognize that you made good decisions based on the
information that you had at the time?
And then when new information comes to light, you make a
different decision? You can't control what other
(02:33):
people do. You can't magically intuit how
they're going to behave in the future.
You could only make decisions based on the information that
you have right now. Powerful, right?
So powerful. And I'm so grateful for the work
that we've done together. And so even though this first
(02:54):
half of the year has been intense for me, my insight self
feels mostly unrattled. Thankfully, all I'm doing is
seeing what new information lifeis presenting to me and working
with that instead. There has been moments in the
past six months or so where I felt like a professional
(03:15):
firefighter, where so much of mytime and my energy is needed to
put out the latest fire. And so often what is needed is
love and boundaries and clarity.And I don't like to, you know,
vague blog, but I also can't share many parts of exactly
what's been happening because it's life stuff for me.
(03:36):
And they involve other people, and I don't like to write other
people's stories for them. My business has been a joyful,
just rolling along doing its magical thing.
And I'm very, very grateful. It's just the life stuff that's
been a lot. It's been a lot on many fronts
(03:56):
with extended family difficulties and school
challenges for both my kids. And like being middle-aged is a
lot like the sandwich generationera has sandwiched hard for me.
And all of that's kind of been abig shake up in terms of US re
evaluating where we are now and what's needed next.
(04:18):
And for those who've been aroundthese parts for a while, you
might know where this might be heading because yes, looks like
we're moving again. We have been here on the
Sunshine Coast for six years nowand I feel so, so grateful for
our time here. I've met some beautiful humans,
especially my local business Goddess Circle with Tash Corman,
(04:40):
Tash Corbin, Bridget Esslemont, Amanda Rootzi, Maddie Beaufort,
Castella, and Claire O'Reilly aswell, and I will eternally
cackle when I think about like my two Scorpio Fest weekends
away with my beloved girlfriends.
I'm grateful that I also got to homeschool here for a wee while
(05:02):
with this incredible homeschooling community and that
my kids got to experience four years of alternative schooling
that they really adore, and I'm very grateful for that.
I am also grateful that my kids really got to have time with
their grandparents here, but with my dad and my husband's
(05:24):
parents as well. And one of the big reasons we
moved here was for them to be able to connect more with their
ancestors. And I feel like we've been able
to do that for them and I feel very grateful for that.
I've also really adored getting to know this land, the magic of
its rivers and the long swathes of beaches and tea trees and the
(05:47):
black cockatoos. I feel enormously lucky that we
got to live through the pandemichere in the safe bubble that QLD
provided, and that we did it while being able to live on an
acreage. In my heart, I think I'm always
going to remember the moment of during the pandemic, I went for
a bike ride with my kids and there was this enormous
(06:11):
butterfly migration. Like I've I've never seen
anything like it before. Millions of butterflies were
dancing through the air and it kept on coming for weeks.
And I just remember riding down the road on a bicycle and the
road was empty and these just flying in a flock of
butterflies. While there was so much
(06:33):
uncertainty and anxiety and grief emanating around the globe
in those early days of the pandemic.
That vast flock of butterflies and that one small bike ride
with my little loves was one of the most exquisite things that
I've ever borne witness to. When we moved here, we had
younger kids, we had an 8 year old and a four year old.
(06:55):
And our dream for was for us to be able to raise them on acreage
with connection to their grandparents and to live like a
sea, change tree change life with them.
And it feels like we've been able to do that.
And I'm so, so proud of us for making that happen.
And now, just like that, in a split second and in eternity, we
(07:16):
have older kids. Our 14 year old has only four
years left to school. Our youngest is now 10.
And our vision for what's next is changing.
We've been wondering for a whilenow what happens next after
school for our eldest. And for all its beauty, a sea or
tree change often doesn't alwaysgive young adults many options
(07:39):
when it comes to further education or starting careers.
For lots of families, they're happy to either work with what's
available locally or for their kids to move to the big smoke
for university or work. And I know when I was growing up
in a rural location that moving away was the only option
available to me. For us though, we are a pretty
(08:00):
close knit little bunch and one of our highest values is family
time and being connected with our kids.
And I found myself feeling feeling really jealous of
friends who lived in locations where their kids could live at
home if they wanted to while going to university or starting
their careers. And with my business, we are
(08:22):
location independent, we can live anywhere.
So if we had the opportunity to be able to have more years with
our kids as young adults, like why wouldn't we?
So with all of that in mind, theanswer was pretty clear to us
that we were ready to move back to Canberra.
This is going to be our third time moving to Canberra.
(08:43):
It might not be biologically outborn like our biologically
born hometown, but it has definitely become one for us.
It is hard to tell people about cameras sometimes.
Probably because if you tell most Australians that you're
wanting to move to Canberra fromthe Sunshine Coast, they think
you are nuts. For most Australians, they think
(09:06):
camera is cold or boring or both.
And they're right about it beingcold.
Of course, like we Australians tend to be a largely cold,
adverse lot, with warmer weatherbeing seen as like the gold
standard for lifestyle. Whereas I happen to have a
husband whose smile widens the closer it gets to 0°.
(09:26):
And I have one kid who clearly inherited his cold living jeans.
She's the kid who wishes that she could wear jumpers and jeans
year round, who hates the beach and fantasizes about living in
Finland. So for me and my other kid,
however, we're just happy to be wherever we are.
I'm always fascinated by like, the public opinion of Canberra
(09:49):
being boring. Here's this like beautifully
planned city with less than halfa million people that has some
of the country's best cultural attractions.
Some of my favorite places on Earth are there.
Where else can you spend a delightful day just meandering
from the National Library of Australia to the National
(10:09):
Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery?
Like, I kept such a little artsynerd boner just thinking of it.
And then of course, there's a zoo on Crestacon, an old
Parliament House in Golden Greenand Gold Creek Village and
Lanyon and all the other things.Some people adore the War
Memorial but it totally gives methe big SAD so I tend to skip
(10:30):
that one. Socio economically like it's
also like a very fascinating place to.
Canberra has the most highly educated population in
Australia. It also happens to be the most
left-leaning state as well. It topped the nation in voting
for same sex marriage in 2018. Its chief minister of 10 years
is the first and only Australianhead of government to identify
(10:54):
as LGBTQIA. Plus, it is one of the top five
most sustainable cities in the world, and it was the first city
outside of Europe to achieve a 100% renewable energy supply.
And it also happens to be the world's best at world of the
game because that's really important too, that side.
(11:16):
There's this real nature magic of Canberra.
I think 90% of the hiking I've done in my life has been there.
Maybe it's because there are walking trails spread through
most of the suburbs that wind around the hills and the sky.
Maybe it's because Canberra has my beloved Tippin Villa National
Park, which is just the jewel ofmy heart and a long term love.
(11:41):
Maybe it's the soft sage hues ofthe Alpine land set wild against
cornflower blue skies. Or maybe most of all, it's
because the nature spirits feel so deeply kind and welcoming
there. All of this and more.
Maybe it's also because it's notfriggin hot most of the year, so
(12:03):
it's always beautiful weather for hiking.
I guess the thing with Canberra is that it's a peculiar kind of
magic. It only enchants certain people
and the love story eludes others.
And that's probably for the best, because otherwise it would
be overrun with too many humans.For me, Canberra has always been
(12:24):
a place that's felt soft and loving and kind to me and my
love. Canberra has gifted us both so
much. It also means returning to our
community of dear friends who'vebecome family after decades of
love. I have complicated and sometimes
strained relationships with my family of origin, but we have
(12:45):
really good and easy and solid community with our Canberra folk
and it's going to be a really lovely homecoming to be nestled
among them again. For our kids, camera also means
lots of great options for finishing their schooling and
doing university, if that's whatthey're called to.
It means lots of job opportunities and possibilities
for them to start out as adults.Will it be a forever place?
(13:09):
Like, I doubt it. I don't know.
I doubt that about any place. If we want to move again, we
totally will. There's still so many places to
get to know and love people. If I ask with the amount of
moving I don't do, do I love moving?
And I don't love like, the actual physical act of packing
and unpacking, of course. But otherwise, yeah, I kind of
(13:33):
do. I love getting to fall in love
with a new home and explore it and get to experience the energy
of and beauty of new areas. It's kind of like slow
travelling for years of restlessunknowing.
It bothered me that I didn't truly know where home was before
realizing I just happened to have a really large one.
(13:55):
My country is my home, my love story's with Australia and I
feel so damn blessed that we've been able to live and love so
many parts of it over the years,from the rainforest wilderness
of far North Queensland to the windswept glory of Tasmania and
all of the jewels between. I feel so lucky that with my
(14:17):
business, we've been able to move when we've wanted and
needed to. It's funny, like I've really
hesitating sharing all of this because we haven't yet bought a
house in Canberra. We haven't set the move date
yet. Who knows what might happen?
The wind may change, we might decide to stay here, we might
decide somewhere else completely.
And that's OK. For right now, the winds of
(14:39):
change are pulling and this is where it's looking to take us.
I just want to say thank you, asalways, for sharing this
whining, stunning, wild journey with me.
I can't wait to share what's next and what's unfolding with
you. And I'm so deeply grateful to
have path companions like you beside me.
(15:03):
That's the end of the show. Wasn't.
It a great show. I love your love.
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