November 13, 2024 • 25 mins
Unlock the transformative power of empathy and scripture in addressing anger issues with wisdom and grace. Join us as we explore our three-step approach inspired by "Uprooting Anger" by Robert D. Jones, where we promise to guide you through fostering lasting peace and alignment with God's will. With a focus on entering into a person’s world, we stress the importance of building trust and offering gospel-centered hope. We aim to equip you with the tools to help others identify and surrender their sinful behaviors, transforming their anger into responses that honor God. This episode is not just a guide for personal transformation but a call to extend biblical support to those around you.
Dive deep into the heart of anger management as we discuss the vital role of empathy, understanding, and the sovereignty of God in achieving true satisfaction and peace. Highlighting key scriptures like 1 Corinthians 10:13 and Hebrews 4:16, we reveal how aligning personal desires with God's purpose can lead to lasting change. Discover the importance of scripture and prayer in cultivating a heart that reflects God’s grace. By focusing on both personal and communal growth, we aim to be a source of wisdom and grace for others. Don't forget to visit jameslongjr.org for additional resources to further your journey in managing and supporting others with anger issues.
Dive deep into the heart of anger management as we discuss the vital role of empathy, understanding, and the sovereignty of God in achieving true satisfaction and peace. Highlighting key scriptures like 1 Corinthians 10:13 and Hebrews 4:16, we reveal how aligning personal desires with God's purpose can lead to lasting change. Discover the importance of scripture and prayer in cultivating a heart that reflects God’s grace. By focusing on both personal and communal growth, we aim to be a source of wisdom and grace for others. Don't forget to visit jameslongjr.org for additional resources to further your journey in managing and supporting others with anger issues.
ABOUT JAMES AND LESSONS FOR LIFE
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join Dr. James Long, Jr., a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life’s biggest questions and helps us find God’s solutions to life’s struggles. Learn the power of living by God’s grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are in search of freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, welcome everyone .
I'm so glad that you're herewith us as we continue our
journey through Uprooting Angerby Robert D Jones.
Today we're shifting our focusoutward.
Up until now, we've beenprimarily dealing with
understanding and addressing ourown anger, its roots, its
effect and the transformativepower of God's grace in managing
it.
Now we turn our attention tosomething equally important how
(00:22):
can we help others who arestruggling with anger?
Maybe you're here because youwant to help a friend or a
family member, or perhaps you'rea leader or a counselor who
encounters angry individuals.
This lesson is about equippingourselves to offer compassionate
biblical support to thosearound us.
We'll explore practical steps,key scriptures and approaches
(00:43):
for entering into someone'sworld and understanding their
struggles, ultimately pointingthem towards the hope and
healing found in the person andwork of Christ.
Let's dive in.
There are going to be threesteps that we're going to talk
about.
How can we show compassion,listen deeply and bring the
gospel-centered hope into theangriest situations that people
(01:03):
deal with in life?
As we consider how to supportothers struggling with anger,
the Bible provides us withpractical, compassionate
three-step approach.
These steps are grounded inlove, understanding and the
transformative power of thegospel.
Step number one we're called toenter into the person's world.
This means taking the time totruly understand their situation
(01:24):
, listening for their strugglesand building a trusting
relationship.
By doing so, we reflectChrist's compassion and offer
gospel-centered hope.
Step number two is alsoimportant.
We need to help the person rootout the sinful behaviors and
beliefs and the motives thatfuel their anger.
Anger stems from misplaceddesires or beliefs that need to
(01:46):
be surrendered to God.
As we come alongside our friend, we guide them in identifying
these hard issues and turning toGod's grace for healing and
transformation.
This is a journey that takeshumility, it takes patience, it
takes reliance on the HolySpirit.
Now, step number three is alsoimportant.
We help them learn to controltheir outward expressions of
(02:07):
anger and replace them withwords and actions that honor God
.
This step involves practicalaccountability and encouragement
to pursue God's responses.
It's about equipping them tomake real, lasting changes in
how they react to anger triggersand enabling them to reflect
Christ in their relationshipsand their daily interactions.
(02:29):
Now, by following these threesteps, we offer more than
temporary relief from anger.
What we actually do is we guideour friends towards a path of
deep, lasting peace that comesfrom their relationship with God
and in their lives as he'sdoing his work in them, and a
life that is aligned to his will.
Now I want you to consider this.
(02:50):
As we enter into the person'sworld, we want to understand
their situations and give gospelhope.
This step is about creating asafe, compassionate space for
the person to share.
People often hold on to theiranger because they feel
misunderstood or unheard.
We're asking thoughtfulquestions and we're thinking
(03:11):
about deeply what it is thatthey're dealing with.
When you do that, you betterunderstand what's truly at the
root of their anger.
We offer helpful tools forgathering approaches.
We use a journal, promptjournaling a problem incident.
This invites the person toreflect on a specific situation
that has triggered their anger,examining not only what happened
(03:33):
but also the internal responses.
Through this, we can gentlyhelp them see the patterns and
recognize the underlyingthoughts and feelings fueling
their anger.
Now, scripture supports this,as we talked about in 1
Corinthians 10, verse 13,.
We're reminded that Godprovides that way of escape
through every challenge, showingus that hope is available even
(03:54):
in the midst of our anger.
And as we talked about inHebrews 4, 16, we're encouraged
to draw near to God's throne,and it's at that throne of grace
we're going to receive mercy.
We're going to find the graceto help us in the time of need
when we need it.
At that time Now, by enteringinto their world with compassion
and understanding, we lay afoundation for gospel-centered
(04:15):
transformation.
Now let's look at thisjournaling prompt.
We call it Journaling ProblemIncidence in Life.
It's a powerful exercisedesigned to help us dig deeper
into the underlying reasonsbehind anger.
This approach encouragesself-reflection and spiritual
insights by examining specificmoments when anger arises.
(04:37):
Now let's look at the key areasto focus on during this process.
First, you need to understandthe situation by describing the
situation in as much detail aspossible.
This is so important.
What was happening around you?
Were there particular words oractions or circumstances that
triggered your anger?
For example, was it about astressful conversation or a
(04:59):
perceived insult, or was there asituation where you expected
something and the expectationsweren't met?
Getting specific about thesituation helps us to bring
clarity to what may be alreadyinfluencing our emotions.
That brings us to number twoour behavior.
Next, we reflect on how weresponded, outwardly or inwardly
(05:20):
.
Did you express your angeropenly through your words or
actions, or did you hold on toit inside, like we've talked
about before, perhaps letting itfester quietly and you became
resentful.
Now this step isn't aboutjudging yourself harshly, but
it's about understanding thetypical reaction and patterns
that you have.
By understanding that and byrecognizing this, we will
(05:44):
respond in a different way.
Recognizing how we respond canshow us where we might want to
make changes internal changesand intentional changes in the
future.
That brings us to number threeyour thoughts and actions.
Now I want you to consider howyou were thinking in that moment
.
What were the thoughts goingthrough your mind as you felt
the anger rise?
(06:05):
Were there certain beliefs orassumptions influencing your
thoughts?
Like I deserve better or theydon't respect me?
How often are these thoughtsrevealing underlying beliefs or
unmet expectations that fuel ouranger?
This step allows us to confrontthose internal drivers directly
.
Step number four we need to getGod's answers.
(06:26):
What we're doing is invitingGod's perspective into the
situation.
We look at scripture to seewhat God says about anger,
forgiveness, patience or justice.
Are there Bible verses ortruths that speak to our
situation and offering guidance?
For example, reflect onpassages like Proverbs 15, verse
1, a gentle answer turns awaywrath.
(06:49):
Can that provide a correctivelens through which we can view
this reaction?
This step helps us to align ourperspective with God's,
reminding us that His ways arehigher than ours and His grace
is available to us even in themost difficult struggles.
Now this journal exercise canbe done for any incident where
anger arises.
(07:09):
Over time, it reveals patterns.
It will help us to recognizetriggers, adjust our thinking
and ultimately invite God'speace into areas of frustration.
By committing to this process,we're taking intentional steps
towards growth and invitingGod's transformative power into
our lives.
When we seek to help someonedealing with anger, it's crucial
(07:31):
to begin by entering into theirworld with empathy,
understanding andgospel-centered hope.
This involves a few key actionsto build trust and open the
door to meaningful change.
The first step is to gatherinformation.
You need to take time to trulyunderstand the person and their
unique situation.
Ask open-ended questions andlisten actively and be genuinely
(07:54):
curious about what they'regoing through, understand their
background, their challenges andspecific triggers for anger.
That allows us to see thingsfrom their perspective and offer
tailored and compassionatesupport.
This process is foundationalbecause it shows the person that
we really care and that we'rewilling to meet them where they
(08:17):
are.
That moves us to number twocontinually give hope.
Now, alongside gatheringinformation, it is vital to
continually offer hope throughthe gospel.
As Christians, we know that nosituation is beyond God's
ability to redeem, remind thatperson, that God's grace is
sufficient and that throughChrist there is always a path
for healing, growth and peace.
(08:39):
Sometimes an angry person mayfeel trapped or hopeless, but by
sharing the encouragement ofScripture and the gospel, we can
help them to see that God trulyhas a plan for them and offers
them a future and a way forward.
Use helpful Scripture.
It's important to anchor yourconversation in Scripture.
Verses like Ephesians 1-3reminds us of the spiritual
(09:01):
blessings that we have in Christ, or in Colossians 2, verses 3
and 9-10, speaks of Christ asthe source of all wisdom and
that in Him we are made complete.
I love this passage in 2 Peter1, verse 3, because it reassures
us that everything we need forlife and godliness is through
(09:22):
the knowledge of Christ.
When we have these kind ofverses in our minds, when we've
meditated on these verses andmemorized these verses, and we
share these verses with others,these verses can serve as a
reminder of God's truth, hiscomfort and promises, offering
the person spiritual nourishmentand strength for the journey.
Now, by entering into theperson's world in this way,
(09:44):
we're gathering information,we're giving hope and then we're
grounding our support inscripture, we can create a safe
and trusting environment whereGod's grace can begin to work in
you and in them and transformtheir hearts and lives.
In our journey to help othersdeal with anger, it is essential
to recognize that anger oftenhas deep roots.
(10:07):
Surface-level approaches won'tbring about lasting change.
We need to come alongside theperson and offer Christ-centered
ways to work through theiranger.
We need to enter into theirworld.
We need to begin by steppinginto their experience with
empathy and understanding.
It's not about judging orfixing them right away.
It's about listening andlearning and showing that we
(10:29):
genuinely care.
When we enter into thisperson's world, we show that we
are committed to walkingalongside them through their
struggles.
And it's important number two toroot out sinful heart beliefs
and motives.
We help the person look inwardand identify underlying beliefs
and motives that may be fuelingtheir anger.
Often anger arises from deeperissues, such as unmet desires,
(10:55):
idols of the heart or a need forcontrol, and by lovingly
guiding them to examine thoseroot causes, we are opening the
door for genuine self-reflection.
It is here that we gentlyintroduce the truth of God's
word, which can expose thesefaulty beliefs and reveal a path
of grace and change.
Our goal is not simply tosuppress the anger, but to help
(11:19):
them to embrace God's grace,which will transform their
hearts.
When we see how God's grace isgreater than their frustrations
and disappointments, they beginto release anger and experience
the freedom and the peace thatcan only come in the person and
work of Christ.
And as we walk alongside themin their journey, let's remember
(11:39):
that our role is to guide themto God, who redeems and restores
.
Our role is to guide them toGod, who redeems and restores
Trust.
God is the one who is powerfuland he is the one who can work
powerfully in their hearts toreplace anger with His grace.
Now, when we look at the reasonsbehind anger, we often find it
rooted in unmet needs or desiresthat people hold closely in
(12:01):
their hearts.
Here we have an inventory ofpersonal needs, a list of things
that many of us naturally seekafter in life.
Now let's go through it briefly.
There's freedom from intenseproblems and pressures.
Now we all want a life thatisn't constantly burdened by
challenges and stress.
Financial security andpossessions, having the
(12:22):
resources to use as we see fit.
How about respect andrecognition?
We seek to be appreciated andvalued in our circles of life,
friendships and closerelationships.
The connection with others is adeep need that brings a sense
of belonging that leads to loveand acceptance.
As a feeling of love, beingloved and accepted by others can
(12:46):
significantly impact ourwell-being.
Good health and medical care.
Health is fundamental in ourneed.
It's a fundamental need for astable life, opportunities for
companionship.
The desire to date or to marryreflects a longing for
partnership and companionship.
Success in work or family orchurch.
(13:09):
Many of us find purpose inachieving goals in those areas.
Achieving what we aspire givesus a sense of accomplishment,
enjoyment and fun in life.
Lastly, everyone seeks joy andmoments of lightheartedness.
As you look at this list, theseneeds are common and even
healthy in balance.
(13:30):
The problem arises when theybecome ultimate needs or idols.
When these personal needs areunmet or threatened, anger can
surface as a reaction.
Our goal is to help othersexamine those needs, align them
with God's purpose and findcontentment in Christ, even when
life doesn't meet every desire.
By understanding these personalneeds, we can recognize the
(13:53):
root of someone's anger andguide them towards a deeper
reliance on God for truesatisfaction and peace.
As we walk with others throughtheir struggles with anger, it
is essential to anchor them inthree powerful truths about God.
These truths remind us of whohe is in the midst of our
frustration and pain, and itprovides us a foundation for
(14:16):
releasing anger in a godly way.
The first thing we need to knowis that God is a righteous judge
of our offenders.
When we are wronged, we oftenfeel compelled to seek justice
or retribution.
However, romans 12, verses14-21, reminds us that God is
the ultimate judge and he seesevery offense.
(14:37):
We can release our desire forrevenge, trusting that God will
judge justly and make all thingsright in His perfect timing.
The second thing we need tounderstand about God is that God
is a merciful forgiver and arighteous judge of our own sins.
We all fall short and we're inneed of forgiveness ourselves.
(14:58):
Remember in Matthew 18, verses21-35, or in Ephesians, chapter
4, verse 32,.
We're reminded that God, in Hismercy, forgives our sins and
calls us to extend that samemercy to others.
Our need for forgivenesssoftens our heart and allows us
to let go of bitterness and toextend grace to those who have
(15:21):
wronged us.
This is also important.
God is a good, loving andsovereign God.
I love this passage in Romans 8, verses 28-39.
It assures us that God is bothsovereign and loving, working
all things together for good forthose who love Him.
He knows our pain, he knows ourfrustrations, he knows our
(15:44):
struggles and in His fatherlylove, he is guiding us and
shaping us through the mostdifficult circumstances in life.
When we trust in Hissovereignty, it helps us to find
peace, knowing that he is incontrol and has our best
interest at heart.
Now, these truths don'tdiminish the reality of the pain
, but they do provide aframework to handle it
(16:06):
biblically.
By trusting God's justice,mercy and sovereignty, we can
experience freedom from theburdens of anger and find rest
in His unchanging character.
When helping others deal withtheir anger, there are three
vital steps that we can take toprovide meaningful support and
guidance.
Number one is to enter intotheir world.
This is where we show empathyand compassion, stepping into
(16:28):
their experiences and trying tounderstand their feelings and
struggles.
By genuinely listening, wecreate a safe space where they
feel understood and supported.
This openness is essential tobuilding trust and providing a
foundation for further guidance.
The second thing is to root outsinful heart beliefs and guide
them towards God's grace.
(16:50):
Often, anger stems from deeplyrooted beliefs or unmet
expectations.
By helping them explore theseunderlying issues, we can point
them to God's truth and to Hisgrace.
God's word provides wisdom andhope, showing them that they
don't have to be bound by anger.
Instead, they can experiencethe freedom that comes from
(17:11):
understanding and aligning withGod's perspective.
Number three help them tounderstand how to control their
sinful expressions and toreplace them with godly words
and actions.
It's so important to equip themwith practical ways to manage
and transform their anger.
This includes replacing harshwords with actions that are
(17:32):
reflective of Christ's love andhis patience.
Now, by applying biblicalprinciples in the moment of
frustration, they can cultivatehabits that honor God and bring
peace into their relationships.
These steps remind us thathelping others with their anger
isn't just about offering advice.
It's about coming alongsidethem on their journey leading
(17:53):
them to a closer relationshipwith Christ and transformative
power of His grace.
And transformative power of Hisgrace.
As we review the practicalsteps for addressing anger, it
is helpful to revisit thestrategies we learned in lesson
number five.
These steps provide a frameworkfor genuinely transforming our
reactions and guiding themaccording to God's will.
(18:17):
Now, the first one is to repent.
This step is so important.
We need to repent of evildesires that fuel our anger.
This repentance isn't justabout feeling sorry.
It's about a heartfelt decisionto turn away from our sin.
Now in repentance, we'reinviting God's forgiving grace
into our lives and acknowledgingthat we need his help to
(18:37):
overcome these destructivetendencies, that we need his
help to overcome thesedestructive tendencies.
The second thing is to ownresponsibility.
We need to take responsibilityfor recognizing that our anger
is our own choice.
By identifying these actions aswrong before God and others,
we're accepting accountabilityfor our behavior.
This honesty is essential inreal change, as it helps us move
(18:59):
beyond excuses and takeproactive steps.
We need to confess and renounce.
Confession involvesacknowledging our angry behavior
openly before God and, whenappropriate, to others.
Renouncing it means to committo leaving these patterns behind
us and to pursue godlyresponses instead.
Now, through confession, we'renot only clearing our conscience
(19:22):
, but we're also invitingaccountability and support in
our journey towards change.
These steps remind us that realtransformation requires both a
humble heart and a commitment torely on God's grace.
As we practice repentance,responsibility and confession,
we grow closer to becoming thepeople God has created us to be
(19:43):
free from the grip of anger andfilled with His peace.
Continuing with practicalstrategies from lesson number
five, we now focus on theinternal commitments and
practical actions that can helpus to leave behind sinful anger
and to embrace Christlikeresponses.
You need to believe anew inChrist.
This step calls us to anchorour trust in Christ and His
(20:07):
gospel promises by remindingourselves that God's grace is
sufficient for us, even with ourangriest moments, when we
strengthen our resolve to seekHim for help rather than relying
on our own strength.
Next, we need to commit toconcrete steps.
We need to commit to concretesteps for change.
(20:27):
Transformation requires action.
This means making intentionalchoices to replace our angry
behavior with words and actionsthat reflect Christ's love and
self-control.
It's about being proactive inseeking godliness in our
responses.
We've talked about establishinga temptation plan.
We all face triggers that canlead us to anger.
(20:50):
A temptation plan helps us toidentify these triggers and to
outline steps that we will takewhen it arises.
Whether it's a quick prayer ora moment of pause or reaching
out for support, a temptationplan keeps us prepared to
respond wisely.
Continue to study scripture.
This is so important.
Lasting change is rooted inGod's word.
(21:13):
That is crucial.
So you need to pray regularly.
You need to be regularly inscripture.
You need to be seeking biblicalresources on relevant topics
and growing your understandingand strength.
God's word serves as a constantreminder of his truth and a
call to holiness.
Now, these steps are soimportant.
(21:33):
When we do these steps and asyou go through them, we're not
only addressing the outwardbehavior, but we're also
cultivating a heart thatreflects God's grace and wisdom
in the moments of our greatestchallenges.
Now, let us grow in ourcommitment to embody God's peace
and God's grace in our lives.
Now, as we conclude our study onhelping others deal with their
(21:53):
anger, let's remember thatgrowth and transformation are a
continuous journey.
We're called not only to workthrough our own struggles with
anger, but also be a source ofgrace and wisdom in the lives of
others.
The tools and insights thatwe've discussed are just the
beginning.
They set us on a path toapproach anger with compassion,
understanding and with hopefound in the person and work of
(22:16):
Christ.
If you would like to explorethis topic further or find
additional resources, visit ourwebsite, jameslongjrorg.
If you would like to explorethis topic further or find
additional resources, visit ourwebsite jameslongjrorg.
There you'll discover moreinsights, articles and courses
designed to help you grow inyour faith and apply biblical
principles to everydaychallenges.
Together, we're building acommunity centered on God's
(22:37):
truth, and I hope that you'lljoin us.
Thank you for being part ofthis study.
Share any thoughts or questionsor topics that you'd like to
see us cover in the futuresessions, and don't forget to
subscribe, leave a comment andinvite others who might benefit
from these lessons.
Let us grow in a communitytogether and continue in this
journey towards a life of peaceand purpose.
(22:58):
Well, thank you for joining usthrough this Uprooting Anger
series.
Each week, we've been delvingin deeper into understanding
anger, its roots and how to dealwith it in a biblical way in
our lives and helping others.
Next week, next Wednesday, onNovember 20th, lord willing, at
12 pm, we'll conclude our serieson lesson number nine why you
(23:19):
must deal with your sinful angerNow.
This is the final session.
We'll conclude our series onlesson number nine why you must
deal with your sinful anger Now.
This is the final session.
We'll be emphasizing on theurgency and the importance of
addressing sinful anger in ourlives, not just for our own
growth, but also for ourrelationships and our witness as
believers.
We'll discuss biblicalmotivations and practical steps
for putting off sinful anger andembracing Christ's way of peace
(23:42):
and self-control.
So mark your calendars andinvite others who might benefit
from this message.
Let's finish strong togetherand continue to build lives that
are rooted in God's truth andlove.
See you next Wednesday.
Let me pray for you as we close.
So, father, we thank you forthis opportunity that we've had
to look at our own anger, butalso look at the anger that
(24:03):
others may be dealing with.
Father, I pray that you wouldhelp us to approach them with
the love, the patience, thegrace, the mercy that you
approach us.
Help us to be forgiving, asyou've been forgiving of us.
Help us to point them to yourgospel grace found in your son.
I pray that your Holy Spiritwould transform their hearts, as
you transform our hearts, andhelp us to bring glory, honor
(24:26):
and majesty to your name.
We praise you and thank you forall that you do.
In Jesus name, we pray Amen.
Thanks again for being with us.
We look forward to seeing younext week.
Be blessed, take care.
Hey, welcome everyone .
I'm so glad that you're herewith us as we continue our
journey through Uprooting Angerby Robert D Jones.
Today we're shifting our focusoutward.
Up until now, we've beenprimarily dealing with
understanding and addressing ourown anger, its roots, its
effect and the transformativepower of God's grace in managing
it.
Now we turn our attention tosomething equally important how
(00:22):
can we help others who arestruggling with anger?
Maybe you're here because youwant to help a friend or a
family member, or perhaps you'rea leader or a counselor who
encounters angry individuals.
This lesson is about equippingourselves to offer compassionate
biblical support to thosearound us.
We'll explore practical steps,key scriptures and approaches
(00:43):
for entering into someone'sworld and understanding their
struggles, ultimately pointingthem towards the hope and
healing found in the person andwork of Christ.
Let's dive in.
There are going to be threesteps that we're going to talk
about.
How can we show compassion,listen deeply and bring the
gospel-centered hope into theangriest situations that people
(01:03):
deal with in life?
As we consider how to supportothers struggling with anger,
the Bible provides us withpractical, compassionate
three-step approach.
These steps are grounded inlove, understanding and the
transformative power of thegospel.
Step number one we're called toenter into the person's world.
This means taking the time totruly understand their situation
(01:24):
, listening for their strugglesand building a trusting
relationship.
By doing so, we reflectChrist's compassion and offer
gospel-centered hope.
Step number two is alsoimportant.
We need to help the person rootout the sinful behaviors and
beliefs and the motives thatfuel their anger.
Anger stems from misplaceddesires or beliefs that need to
(01:46):
be surrendered to God.
As we come alongside our friend, we guide them in identifying
these hard issues and turning toGod's grace for healing and
transformation.
This is a journey that takeshumility, it takes patience, it
takes reliance on the HolySpirit.
Now, step number three is alsoimportant.
We help them learn to controltheir outward expressions of
(02:07):
anger and replace them withwords and actions that honor God
.
This step involves practicalaccountability and encouragement
to pursue God's responses.
It's about equipping them tomake real, lasting changes in
how they react to anger triggersand enabling them to reflect
Christ in their relationshipsand their daily interactions.
(02:29):
Now, by following these threesteps, we offer more than
temporary relief from anger.
What we actually do is we guideour friends towards a path of
deep, lasting peace that comesfrom their relationship with God
and in their lives as he'sdoing his work in them, and a
life that is aligned to his will.
Now I want you to consider this.
(02:50):
As we enter into the person'sworld, we want to understand
their situations and give gospelhope.
This step is about creating asafe, compassionate space for
the person to share.
People often hold on to theiranger because they feel
misunderstood or unheard.
We're asking thoughtfulquestions and we're thinking
(03:11):
about deeply what it is thatthey're dealing with.
When you do that, you betterunderstand what's truly at the
root of their anger.
We offer helpful tools forgathering approaches.
We use a journal, promptjournaling a problem incident.
This invites the person toreflect on a specific situation
that has triggered their anger,examining not only what happened
(03:33):
but also the internal responses.
Through this, we can gentlyhelp them see the patterns and
recognize the underlyingthoughts and feelings fueling
their anger.
Now, scripture supports this,as we talked about in 1
Corinthians 10, verse 13,.
We're reminded that Godprovides that way of escape
through every challenge, showingus that hope is available even
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in the midst of our anger.
And as we talked about inHebrews 4, 16, we're encouraged
to draw near to God's throne,and it's at that throne of grace
we're going to receive mercy.
We're going to find the graceto help us in the time of need
when we need it.
At that time Now, by enteringinto their world with compassion
and understanding, we lay afoundation for gospel-centered
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transformation.
Now let's look at thisjournaling prompt.
We call it Journaling ProblemIncidence in Life.
It's a powerful exercisedesigned to help us dig deeper
into the underlying reasonsbehind anger.
This approach encouragesself-reflection and spiritual
insights by examining specificmoments when anger arises.
(04:37):
Now let's look at the key areasto focus on during this process.
First, you need to understandthe situation by describing the
situation in as much detail aspossible.
This is so important.
What was happening around you?
Were there particular words oractions or circumstances that
triggered your anger?
For example, was it about astressful conversation or a
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perceived insult, or was there asituation where you expected
something and the expectationsweren't met?
Getting specific about thesituation helps us to bring
clarity to what may be alreadyinfluencing our emotions.
That brings us to number twoour behavior.
Next, we reflect on how weresponded, outwardly or inwardly
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.
Did you express your angeropenly through your words or
actions, or did you hold on toit inside, like we've talked
about before, perhaps letting itfester quietly and you became
resentful.
Now this step isn't aboutjudging yourself harshly, but
it's about understanding thetypical reaction and patterns
that you have.
By understanding that and byrecognizing this, we will
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respond in a different way.
Recognizing how we respond canshow us where we might want to
make changes internal changesand intentional changes in the
future.
That brings us to number threeyour thoughts and actions.
Now I want you to consider howyou were thinking in that moment
.
What were the thoughts goingthrough your mind as you felt
the anger rise?
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Were there certain beliefs orassumptions influencing your
thoughts?
Like I deserve better or theydon't respect me?
How often are these thoughtsrevealing underlying beliefs or
unmet expectations that fuel ouranger?
This step allows us to confrontthose internal drivers directly
.
Step number four we need to getGod's answers.
(06:26):
What we're doing is invitingGod's perspective into the
situation.
We look at scripture to seewhat God says about anger,
forgiveness, patience or justice.
Are there Bible verses ortruths that speak to our
situation and offering guidance?
For example, reflect onpassages like Proverbs 15, verse
1, a gentle answer turns awaywrath.
(06:49):
Can that provide a correctivelens through which we can view
this reaction?
This step helps us to align ourperspective with God's,
reminding us that His ways arehigher than ours and His grace
is available to us even in themost difficult struggles.
Now this journal exercise canbe done for any incident where
anger arises.
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Over time, it reveals patterns.
It will help us to recognizetriggers, adjust our thinking
and ultimately invite God'speace into areas of frustration.
By committing to this process,we're taking intentional steps
towards growth and invitingGod's transformative power into
our lives.
When we seek to help someonedealing with anger, it's crucial
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to begin by entering into theirworld with empathy,
understanding andgospel-centered hope.
This involves a few key actionsto build trust and open the
door to meaningful change.
The first step is to gatherinformation.
You need to take time to trulyunderstand the person and their
unique situation.
Ask open-ended questions andlisten actively and be genuinely
(07:54):
curious about what they'regoing through, understand their
background, their challenges andspecific triggers for anger.
That allows us to see thingsfrom their perspective and offer
tailored and compassionatesupport.
This process is foundationalbecause it shows the person that
we really care and that we'rewilling to meet them where they
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are.
That moves us to number twocontinually give hope.
Now, alongside gatheringinformation, it is vital to
continually offer hope throughthe gospel.
As Christians, we know that nosituation is beyond God's
ability to redeem, remind thatperson, that God's grace is
sufficient and that throughChrist there is always a path
for healing, growth and peace.
(08:39):
Sometimes an angry person mayfeel trapped or hopeless, but by
sharing the encouragement ofScripture and the gospel, we can
help them to see that God trulyhas a plan for them and offers
them a future and a way forward.
Use helpful Scripture.
It's important to anchor yourconversation in Scripture.
Verses like Ephesians 1-3reminds us of the spiritual
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blessings that we have in Christ, or in Colossians 2, verses 3
and 9-10, speaks of Christ asthe source of all wisdom and
that in Him we are made complete.
I love this passage in 2 Peter1, verse 3, because it reassures
us that everything we need forlife and godliness is through
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the knowledge of Christ.
When we have these kind ofverses in our minds, when we've
meditated on these verses andmemorized these verses, and we
share these verses with others,these verses can serve as a
reminder of God's truth, hiscomfort and promises, offering
the person spiritual nourishmentand strength for the journey.
Now, by entering into theperson's world in this way,
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we're gathering information,we're giving hope and then we're
grounding our support inscripture, we can create a safe
and trusting environment whereGod's grace can begin to work in
you and in them and transformtheir hearts and lives.
In our journey to help othersdeal with anger, it is essential
to recognize that anger oftenhas deep roots.
(10:07):
Surface-level approaches won'tbring about lasting change.
We need to come alongside theperson and offer Christ-centered
ways to work through theiranger.
We need to enter into theirworld.
We need to begin by steppinginto their experience with
empathy and understanding.
It's not about judging orfixing them right away.
It's about listening andlearning and showing that we
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genuinely care.
When we enter into thisperson's world, we show that we
are committed to walkingalongside them through their
struggles.
And it's important number two toroot out sinful heart beliefs
and motives.
We help the person look inwardand identify underlying beliefs
and motives that may be fuelingtheir anger.
Often anger arises from deeperissues, such as unmet desires,
(10:55):
idols of the heart or a need forcontrol, and by lovingly
guiding them to examine thoseroot causes, we are opening the
door for genuine self-reflection.
It is here that we gentlyintroduce the truth of God's
word, which can expose thesefaulty beliefs and reveal a path
of grace and change.
Our goal is not simply tosuppress the anger, but to help
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them to embrace God's grace,which will transform their
hearts.
When we see how God's grace isgreater than their frustrations
and disappointments, they beginto release anger and experience
the freedom and the peace thatcan only come in the person and
work of Christ.
And as we walk alongside themin their journey, let's remember
(11:39):
that our role is to guide themto God, who redeems and restores
.
Our role is to guide them toGod, who redeems and restores
Trust.
God is the one who is powerfuland he is the one who can work
powerfully in their hearts toreplace anger with His grace.
Now, when we look at the reasonsbehind anger, we often find it
rooted in unmet needs or desiresthat people hold closely in
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their hearts.
Here we have an inventory ofpersonal needs, a list of things
that many of us naturally seekafter in life.
Now let's go through it briefly.
There's freedom from intenseproblems and pressures.
Now we all want a life thatisn't constantly burdened by
challenges and stress.
Financial security andpossessions, having the
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resources to use as we see fit.
How about respect andrecognition?
We seek to be appreciated andvalued in our circles of life,
friendships and closerelationships.
The connection with others is adeep need that brings a sense
of belonging that leads to loveand acceptance.
As a feeling of love, beingloved and accepted by others can
(12:46):
significantly impact ourwell-being.
Good health and medical care.
Health is fundamental in ourneed.
It's a fundamental need for astable life, opportunities for
companionship.
The desire to date or to marryreflects a longing for
partnership and companionship.
Success in work or family orchurch.
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Many of us find purpose inachieving goals in those areas.
Achieving what we aspire givesus a sense of accomplishment,
enjoyment and fun in life.
Lastly, everyone seeks joy andmoments of lightheartedness.
As you look at this list, theseneeds are common and even
healthy in balance.
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The problem arises when theybecome ultimate needs or idols.
When these personal needs areunmet or threatened, anger can
surface as a reaction.
Our goal is to help othersexamine those needs, align them
with God's purpose and findcontentment in Christ, even when
life doesn't meet every desire.
By understanding these personalneeds, we can recognize the
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root of someone's anger andguide them towards a deeper
reliance on God for truesatisfaction and peace.
As we walk with others throughtheir struggles with anger, it
is essential to anchor them inthree powerful truths about God.
These truths remind us of whohe is in the midst of our
frustration and pain, and itprovides us a foundation for
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releasing anger in a godly way.
The first thing we need to knowis that God is a righteous judge
of our offenders.
When we are wronged, we oftenfeel compelled to seek justice
or retribution.
However, romans 12, verses14-21, reminds us that God is
the ultimate judge and he seesevery offense.
(14:37):
We can release our desire forrevenge, trusting that God will
judge justly and make all thingsright in His perfect timing.
The second thing we need tounderstand about God is that God
is a merciful forgiver and arighteous judge of our own sins.
We all fall short and we're inneed of forgiveness ourselves.
(14:58):
Remember in Matthew 18, verses21-35, or in Ephesians, chapter
4, verse 32,.
We're reminded that God, in Hismercy, forgives our sins and
calls us to extend that samemercy to others.
Our need for forgivenesssoftens our heart and allows us
to let go of bitterness and toextend grace to those who have
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wronged us.
This is also important.
God is a good, loving andsovereign God.
I love this passage in Romans 8, verses 28-39.
It assures us that God is bothsovereign and loving, working
all things together for good forthose who love Him.
He knows our pain, he knows ourfrustrations, he knows our
(15:44):
struggles and in His fatherlylove, he is guiding us and
shaping us through the mostdifficult circumstances in life.
When we trust in Hissovereignty, it helps us to find
peace, knowing that he is incontrol and has our best
interest at heart.
Now, these truths don'tdiminish the reality of the pain
, but they do provide aframework to handle it
(16:06):
biblically.
By trusting God's justice,mercy and sovereignty, we can
experience freedom from theburdens of anger and find rest
in His unchanging character.
When helping others deal withtheir anger, there are three
vital steps that we can take toprovide meaningful support and
guidance.
Number one is to enter intotheir world.
This is where we show empathyand compassion, stepping into
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their experiences and trying tounderstand their feelings and
struggles.
By genuinely listening, wecreate a safe space where they
feel understood and supported.
This openness is essential tobuilding trust and providing a
foundation for further guidance.
The second thing is to root outsinful heart beliefs and guide
them towards God's grace.
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Often, anger stems from deeplyrooted beliefs or unmet
expectations.
By helping them explore theseunderlying issues, we can point
them to God's truth and to Hisgrace.
God's word provides wisdom andhope, showing them that they
don't have to be bound by anger.
Instead, they can experiencethe freedom that comes from
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understanding and aligning withGod's perspective.
Number three help them tounderstand how to control their
sinful expressions and toreplace them with godly words
and actions.
It's so important to equip themwith practical ways to manage
and transform their anger.
This includes replacing harshwords with actions that are
(17:32):
reflective of Christ's love andhis patience.
Now, by applying biblicalprinciples in the moment of
frustration, they can cultivatehabits that honor God and bring
peace into their relationships.
These steps remind us thathelping others with their anger
isn't just about offering advice.
It's about coming alongsidethem on their journey leading
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them to a closer relationshipwith Christ and transformative
power of His grace.
And transformative power of Hisgrace.
As we review the practicalsteps for addressing anger, it
is helpful to revisit thestrategies we learned in lesson
number five.
These steps provide a frameworkfor genuinely transforming our
reactions and guiding themaccording to God's will.
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Now, the first one is to repent.
This step is so important.
We need to repent of evildesires that fuel our anger.
This repentance isn't justabout feeling sorry.
It's about a heartfelt decisionto turn away from our sin.
Now in repentance, we'reinviting God's forgiving grace
into our lives and acknowledgingthat we need his help to
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overcome these destructivetendencies, that we need his
help to overcome thesedestructive tendencies.
The second thing is to ownresponsibility.
We need to take responsibilityfor recognizing that our anger
is our own choice.
By identifying these actions aswrong before God and others,
we're accepting accountabilityfor our behavior.
This honesty is essential inreal change, as it helps us move
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beyond excuses and takeproactive steps.
We need to confess and renounce.
Confession involvesacknowledging our angry behavior
openly before God and, whenappropriate, to others.
Renouncing it means to committo leaving these patterns behind
us and to pursue godlyresponses instead.
Now, through confession, we'renot only clearing our conscience
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, but we're also invitingaccountability and support in
our journey towards change.
These steps remind us that realtransformation requires both a
humble heart and a commitment torely on God's grace.
As we practice repentance,responsibility and confession,
we grow closer to becoming thepeople God has created us to be
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free from the grip of anger andfilled with His peace.
Continuing with practicalstrategies from lesson number
five, we now focus on theinternal commitments and
practical actions that can helpus to leave behind sinful anger
and to embrace Christlikeresponses.
You need to believe anew inChrist.
This step calls us to anchorour trust in Christ and His
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gospel promises by remindingourselves that God's grace is
sufficient for us, even with ourangriest moments, when we
strengthen our resolve to seekHim for help rather than relying
on our own strength.
Next, we need to commit toconcrete steps.
We need to commit to concretesteps for change.
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Transformation requires action.
This means making intentionalchoices to replace our angry
behavior with words and actionsthat reflect Christ's love and
self-control.
It's about being proactive inseeking godliness in our
responses.
We've talked about establishinga temptation plan.
We all face triggers that canlead us to anger.
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A temptation plan helps us toidentify these triggers and to
outline steps that we will takewhen it arises.
Whether it's a quick prayer ora moment of pause or reaching
out for support, a temptationplan keeps us prepared to
respond wisely.
Continue to study scripture.
This is so important.
Lasting change is rooted inGod's word.
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That is crucial.
So you need to pray regularly.
You need to be regularly inscripture.
You need to be seeking biblicalresources on relevant topics
and growing your understandingand strength.
God's word serves as a constantreminder of his truth and a
call to holiness.
Now, these steps are soimportant.
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When we do these steps and asyou go through them, we're not
only addressing the outwardbehavior, but we're also
cultivating a heart thatreflects God's grace and wisdom
in the moments of our greatestchallenges.
Now, let us grow in ourcommitment to embody God's peace
and God's grace in our lives.
Now, as we conclude our study onhelping others deal with their
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anger, let's remember thatgrowth and transformation are a
continuous journey.
We're called not only to workthrough our own struggles with
anger, but also be a source ofgrace and wisdom in the lives of
others.
The tools and insights thatwe've discussed are just the
beginning.
They set us on a path toapproach anger with compassion,
understanding and with hopefound in the person and work of
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Christ.
If you would like to explorethis topic further or find
additional resources, visit ourwebsite, jameslongjrorg.
If you would like to explorethis topic further or find
additional resources, visit ourwebsite jameslongjrorg.
There you'll discover moreinsights, articles and courses
designed to help you grow inyour faith and apply biblical
principles to everydaychallenges.
Together, we're building acommunity centered on God's
(22:37):
truth, and I hope that you'lljoin us.
Thank you for being part ofthis study.
Share any thoughts or questionsor topics that you'd like to
see us cover in the futuresessions, and don't forget to
subscribe, leave a comment andinvite others who might benefit
from these lessons.
Let us grow in a communitytogether and continue in this
journey towards a life of peaceand purpose.
(22:58):
Well, thank you for joining usthrough this Uprooting Anger
series.
Each week, we've been delvingin deeper into understanding
anger, its roots and how to dealwith it in a biblical way in
our lives and helping others.
Next week, next Wednesday, onNovember 20th, lord willing, at
12 pm, we'll conclude our serieson lesson number nine why you
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must deal with your sinful angerNow.
This is the final session.
We'll conclude our series onlesson number nine why you must
deal with your sinful anger Now.
This is the final session.
We'll be emphasizing on theurgency and the importance of
addressing sinful anger in ourlives, not just for our own
growth, but also for ourrelationships and our witness as
believers.
We'll discuss biblicalmotivations and practical steps
for putting off sinful anger andembracing Christ's way of peace
(23:42):
and self-control.
So mark your calendars andinvite others who might benefit
from this message.
Let's finish strong togetherand continue to build lives that
are rooted in God's truth andlove.
See you next Wednesday.
Let me pray for you as we close.
So, father, we thank you forthis opportunity that we've had
to look at our own anger, butalso look at the anger that
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others may be dealing with.
Father, I pray that you wouldhelp us to approach them with
the love, the patience, thegrace, the mercy that you
approach us.
Help us to be forgiving, asyou've been forgiving of us.
Help us to point them to yourgospel grace found in your son.
I pray that your Holy Spiritwould transform their hearts, as
you transform our hearts, andhelp us to bring glory, honor
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and majesty to your name.
We praise you and thank you forall that you do.
In Jesus name, we pray Amen.
Thanks again for being with us.
We look forward to seeing younext week.
Be blessed, take care.
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