May 6, 2025 • 7 mins
ABOUT JAMES AND LESSONS FOR LIFE
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join Dr. James Long, Jr., a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life’s biggest questions and helps us find God’s solutions to life’s struggles. Learn the power of living by God’s grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are in search of freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Episode 2, wisdom for Marriage and Singleness Series.
Wisdom for Every Relationship.
Hi, friends, and welcome backto Lessons for Life with James
Long Jr.
I'm so glad you're here.
We're continuing our seriescalled Wisdom for Every
Relationship, where we'reexploring what it looks like to
(00:23):
live with gospel-centered wisdomin every relationship God gives
us.
Today's topic touches every oneof us, whether you're married,
single, dating, engaged orwalking with someone who is.
We're talking about wisdom formarriage and singleness.
Let's dive in.
Few areas of life stir deeperlonging or deeper struggles than
(00:45):
marriage and singleness.
For some, marriage feels like asource of great joy.
For others it's a source ofpain.
For some, singleness feelsfreeing.
For others it feels likeloneliness.
Our culture often swingsbetween two extremes idolizing
romantic relationships andmarriage as the ultimate
fulfillment, or dismissingrelationships altogether in
(01:09):
pursuit of independence.
But scripture paints adifferent picture.
God honors both marriage andsingleness.
He dignifies both callings and,most importantly, he calls us
to live wisely.
Whatever the season we're in,and whether you're navigating
life with a spouse longing formarriage or finding contentment
(01:29):
in singleness, god's wisdom haspowerful truths to guide your
steps.
Let's ground ourselves in a fewkey scriptures.
Proverbs 9, verse 10 says thefear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom, and theknowledge of the Holy One is
insight.
In other words, true wisdom,whether in marriage or
(01:52):
singleness, begins not with ourdesires but with reverence for
God.
Hebrews, chapter 13, verse 4,says this Let marriage be held
with honor among all and let themarriage bed be undefiled.
And in 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, it speaks to singleness with
great dignity.
It says the unmarried man isanxious about the things of the
Lord.
How to please the Lord?
(02:13):
Both seasons married and singleare gifts to steward, not
statuses to idolize.
First, wisdom in marriageMarriage is a covenant, a
lifelong commitment designed toreflect Christ's love for his
people.
But marriage is not aboutfinding someone to complete you.
Only Christ can do that.
(02:33):
Ephesians chapter 5 tells usthat marriage is a picture of
Christ and his church.
It's about serving, sacrificingand sanctifying one another
through love.
Serving, sacrificing andsanctifying one another through
love.
Practically speaking, wisdom inmarriage looks like
prioritizing open and humblecommunication, practicing daily
forgiveness and grace, choosingfaithfulness over feelings,
(02:56):
pursuing emotional and spiritualintimacy intentionally, not
just physically orcircumstantially.
Marriage is not about demandingfrom your spouse only what God
can provide.
It's about being a vessel ofChrist's love and patience to
one another Second wisdom forsingleness Singleness is not
second best.
(03:17):
It's not a waiting room for lifeto start.
It's a season, and for some, acalling, designed for undivided
devotion to Christ.
Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians,chapter 7, that a single person
can focus more fully on thethings of the Lord.
That's not a lesser life.
Actually, that's a beautifulinvitation.
If you're single today, hear me, your identity is not based on
(03:40):
a relationship status.
It's rooted in Christ alone.
Your calling is not delayed.
You can actually live boldly,purposefully and fruitfully
right now.
Your value is not incomplete.
You're fully loved, fullycalled and fully equipped in
Christ.
And if you have a desire formarriage one day, steward this
(04:02):
season wisely, grow in emotionalmaturity, serve the Lord fully
and build friendships thatstretch your character and
deepen your roots in Christ.
Now let me paint a simplepicture.
Imagine two people.
One believes that marriage willsolve all their loneliness,
insecurities and discontentment.
The other one believes thatChrist alone is their security
(04:25):
and that marriage, if it comes,will be a calling to serve, not
simply to receive.
Now, which one do you thinkwill be a calling to serve, not
simply to receive?
Now, which one do you thinkwill build a healthier
relationship, and which one doyou think will walk in more
wisdom, joy and peace?
Wisdom doesn't deny desires,but it refuses to let those
desires rule the heart, andthat's true whether you're
(04:47):
married or single.
Now let's reflect for a moment.
Are you treating your currentseason, married or single, as a
gift to steward or a burden tobear?
Are you looking to anotherhuman to fill what only God can
satisfy?
Are you growing in emotional,spiritual and relational wisdom,
regardless of your relationshipstatus?
(05:10):
Spiritual and relational wisdom, regardless of your
relationship status.
Wisdom invites us to grow now,not later.
To honor God now, not someday.
To love well now, not only whenthe circumstances feel ideal.
Now, this week, I want toencourage you If you're married,
take one intentional step tobuild your spouse up in love,
whether it's through prayer,encouragement or simple
(05:30):
attentive presence.
Now, if you're single, I wantyou to take one intentional step
towards deeper devotion andcommunity, whether through
serving, mentoring orcultivating relationships in
Christ.
Don't wait for life to feelideal.
Wisdom calls you to live fullyfor Christ in the season that
you're in.
If you'd like to grow deeper inthese gospel-centered
(05:52):
relationships, I invite you tojoin our community at
communityjameslongjrorg.
That's communityjameslongjrorg,and if you'd like to learn more
about the different membershiplevels and all the resources
available, you can visitjameslongjrorg slash.
(06:16):
Sign up now.
We would love to walk alongsideyou as you pursue wisdom in
every season on yourrelationships.
Let me pray for you, father.
Thank you for designing bothmarriage and singleness as a
beautiful gift to glorify you.
Father, thank you for designingboth marriage and singleness as
a beautiful gift to glorify you.
Teach us to walk wisely,whether we're serving a spouse,
(06:36):
growing friendships or preparingour hearts to serve your
purposes.
Help us to love you with allour heart, soul, mind and
strength, and in every season,may we trust your goodness and
timing.
In Jesus' matchless name, wepray Amen.
Thank you for joining me today.
I look forward to continuingthis journey with you next time
(06:57):
as we explore wisdom forfriendships and boundaries.
Be blessed everyone.
Take care.
Episode 2, wisdom for Marriage and Singleness Series.
Wisdom for Every Relationship.
Hi, friends, and welcome backto Lessons for Life with James
Long Jr.
I'm so glad you're here.
We're continuing our seriescalled Wisdom for Every
Relationship, where we'reexploring what it looks like to
(00:23):
live with gospel-centered wisdomin every relationship God gives
us.
Today's topic touches every oneof us, whether you're married,
single, dating, engaged orwalking with someone who is.
We're talking about wisdom formarriage and singleness.
Let's dive in.
Few areas of life stir deeperlonging or deeper struggles than
(00:45):
marriage and singleness.
For some, marriage feels like asource of great joy.
For others it's a source ofpain.
For some, singleness feelsfreeing.
For others it feels likeloneliness.
Our culture often swingsbetween two extremes idolizing
romantic relationships andmarriage as the ultimate
fulfillment, or dismissingrelationships altogether in
(01:09):
pursuit of independence.
But scripture paints adifferent picture.
God honors both marriage andsingleness.
He dignifies both callings and,most importantly, he calls us
to live wisely.
Whatever the season we're in,and whether you're navigating
life with a spouse longing formarriage or finding contentment
(01:29):
in singleness, god's wisdom haspowerful truths to guide your
steps.
Let's ground ourselves in a fewkey scriptures.
Proverbs 9, verse 10 says thefear of the Lord is the
beginning of wisdom, and theknowledge of the Holy One is
insight.
In other words, true wisdom,whether in marriage or
(01:52):
singleness, begins not with ourdesires but with reverence for
God.
Hebrews, chapter 13, verse 4,says this Let marriage be held
with honor among all and let themarriage bed be undefiled.
And in 1 Corinthians, chapter 7, it speaks to singleness with
great dignity.
It says the unmarried man isanxious about the things of the
Lord.
How to please the Lord?
(02:13):
Both seasons married and singleare gifts to steward, not
statuses to idolize.
First, wisdom in marriageMarriage is a covenant, a
lifelong commitment designed toreflect Christ's love for his
people.
But marriage is not aboutfinding someone to complete you.
Only Christ can do that.
(02:33):
Ephesians chapter 5 tells usthat marriage is a picture of
Christ and his church.
It's about serving, sacrificingand sanctifying one another
through love.
Serving, sacrificing andsanctifying one another through
love.
Practically speaking, wisdom inmarriage looks like
prioritizing open and humblecommunication, practicing daily
forgiveness and grace, choosingfaithfulness over feelings,
(02:56):
pursuing emotional and spiritualintimacy intentionally, not
just physically orcircumstantially.
Marriage is not about demandingfrom your spouse only what God
can provide.
It's about being a vessel ofChrist's love and patience to
one another Second wisdom forsingleness Singleness is not
second best.
(03:17):
It's not a waiting room for lifeto start.
It's a season, and for some, acalling, designed for undivided
devotion to Christ.
Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians,chapter 7, that a single person
can focus more fully on thethings of the Lord.
That's not a lesser life.
Actually, that's a beautifulinvitation.
If you're single today, hear me, your identity is not based on
(03:40):
a relationship status.
It's rooted in Christ alone.
Your calling is not delayed.
You can actually live boldly,purposefully and fruitfully
right now.
Your value is not incomplete.
You're fully loved, fullycalled and fully equipped in
Christ.
And if you have a desire formarriage one day, steward this
(04:02):
season wisely, grow in emotionalmaturity, serve the Lord fully
and build friendships thatstretch your character and
deepen your roots in Christ.
Now let me paint a simplepicture.
Imagine two people.
One believes that marriage willsolve all their loneliness,
insecurities and discontentment.
The other one believes thatChrist alone is their security
(04:25):
and that marriage, if it comes,will be a calling to serve, not
simply to receive.
Now, which one do you thinkwill be a calling to serve, not
simply to receive?
Now, which one do you thinkwill build a healthier
relationship, and which one doyou think will walk in more
wisdom, joy and peace?
Wisdom doesn't deny desires,but it refuses to let those
desires rule the heart, andthat's true whether you're
(04:47):
married or single.
Now let's reflect for a moment.
Are you treating your currentseason, married or single, as a
gift to steward or a burden tobear?
Are you looking to anotherhuman to fill what only God can
satisfy?
Are you growing in emotional,spiritual and relational wisdom,
regardless of your relationshipstatus?
(05:10):
Spiritual and relational wisdom, regardless of your
relationship status.
Wisdom invites us to grow now,not later.
To honor God now, not someday.
To love well now, not only whenthe circumstances feel ideal.
Now, this week, I want toencourage you If you're married,
take one intentional step tobuild your spouse up in love,
whether it's through prayer,encouragement or simple
(05:30):
attentive presence.
Now, if you're single, I wantyou to take one intentional step
towards deeper devotion andcommunity, whether through
serving, mentoring orcultivating relationships in
Christ.
Don't wait for life to feelideal.
Wisdom calls you to live fullyfor Christ in the season that
you're in.
If you'd like to grow deeper inthese gospel-centered
(05:52):
relationships, I invite you tojoin our community at
communityjameslongjrorg.
That's communityjameslongjrorg,and if you'd like to learn more
about the different membershiplevels and all the resources
available, you can visitjameslongjrorg slash.
(06:16):
Sign up now.
We would love to walk alongsideyou as you pursue wisdom in
every season on yourrelationships.
Let me pray for you, father.
Thank you for designing bothmarriage and singleness as a
beautiful gift to glorify you.
Father, thank you for designingboth marriage and singleness as
a beautiful gift to glorify you.
Teach us to walk wisely,whether we're serving a spouse,
(06:36):
growing friendships or preparingour hearts to serve your
purposes.
Help us to love you with allour heart, soul, mind and
strength, and in every season,may we trust your goodness and
timing.
In Jesus' matchless name, wepray Amen.
Thank you for joining me today.
I look forward to continuingthis journey with you next time
(06:57):
as we explore wisdom forfriendships and boundaries.
Be blessed everyone.
Take care.
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