May 7, 2025 • 7 mins
ABOUT JAMES AND LESSONS FOR LIFE
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join Dr. James Long, Jr., a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life’s biggest questions and helps us find God’s solutions to life’s struggles. Learn the power of living by God’s grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are in search of freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Episode 3, wisdom for Friends.
Important areas of our livesmarriage, singleness, family,
work and, today, friendship.
Friendships are one of God'sgreatest gifts, but they can
also be a source of pain ifwe're not wise in how we choose,
cultivate and protect thoserelationships.
Today we're going to talk aboutwisdom for friendships and
(00:43):
boundaries.
Let's dive in Now.
Think about your closestfriends.
Are they people that build youup and challenge you to love
Christ more deeply, who walkwith you through both joy and
sorrows, or are they somerelationships that leave you
feeling drained, manipulated anddisrespected?
The reality is not allfriendships are equal, and
(01:06):
scripture makes it clear thatthe people that we consistently
walk with shape our lives inprofound ways.
Friendship is not a casualthing.
In God's eyes it's formational,and walking in wisdom means
choosing, investing in andsometimes protecting those
relationships carefully.
Let's look at a fewfoundational scripture together.
(01:27):
In Proverbs, chapter 13, verse20, it says whoever walks with
the wise becomes wise, but thecompanion of fools will suffer
harm.
Proverbs, chapter 18, verse 24,tells us a man of many
companions may come to ruin, butthere's a friend who sticks
closer than a brother.
And Proverbs, chapter 27, verse6, reminds us faithful are the
(01:51):
wounds of a friend profuse arethe kisses of an enemy.
Now, according to God's word,the quality of our relationships
matters far more than thequantity.
Wise friendships sharpen,encourage and point us to Christ
.
Wise friendships are rooted ingodliness.
A true friend is not justsomeone who makes you laugh or
(02:14):
shares your hobby.
It's someone who helps you walkwith God.
Wise friendships speak thetruth in love.
They celebrate without jealousy.
They challenge you when youdrift and walk with you through
adversity.
Ask yourself do my closestfriends encourage my spiritual
growth?
(02:34):
And how about this one?
Am I becoming more like Christbecause of the people I spend
most of my time with Now?
The second thing I want you toconsider is this Wise
friendships are marked by mutualrespect.
Healthy friendships aren'tone-sided.
There's mutual listening,mutual encouragement and mutual
(02:54):
sacrifice.
If a friendship constantlydrains you without any
reciprocity, or if it fostersgossip, cynicism or compromise,
wisdom says it's time toevaluate Proverbs.
Chapter 17, verse 17, says Afriend loves at all times and a
brother is born for adversity.
True friendships carry oneanother's burden, not just
(03:18):
during the easy seasons, butthrough the hard ones as well.
I want you to imagine twofriends.
One is built on common hobbies,but every conversation drifts
towards negativity, criticismand gossip.
The other one is built on ashared faith in Christ.
Conversations are marked byprayer, encouragement, scripture
, laughter and honesty, evenwhen it's hard.
(03:40):
Over time, those friendshipswill bear different kind of
fruit.
One will leave you feelingweary and stagnant, and the
other will strengthen your heartand spur you towards love and
good works.
Friendship is powerful.
Wisdom asks what kind offriendships am I cultivating and
what kind of friend am Ibecoming?
Burdens are not just aboutbuilding walls of isolation.
(04:04):
They're about creating healthygates that allow safe,
life-giving relationships in andgently protects you from
consistent harm.
Jesus himself modeled this.
He loved everyone, but hedidn't give equal access to
everyone.
He ministered to many, hediscipled 12, and he shared his
heart most intimately.
With.
(04:24):
Three Boundaries inrelationships might look like
this Limiting time with thosewho stir up conflict or
discouragement, clarifyingemotional expectations with your
friends who are consistentlydemanding, protecting your heart
from gossip or negativitywithout severing kindness.
Wisdom means knowing when tolean in and when to create space
(04:48):
.
Now I want you to take a momentand reflect.
Who are the three people Ispend the most emotional energy
on each week?
Are those relationships drawingme closer to Christ or are they
pulling me away from Him?
Are there boundaries that Ineed to prayerfully consider
setting for the sake of wisdomand peace?
Walking wisely in relationshipsdoesn't mean we reject people.
(05:12):
It means that we love wisely,protect what is sacred and stay
faithful to Christ first.
Now, this week, here's yourchallenge Invest intentionally
in a relationship that builds upyour faith.
Send a text schedule a coffeepray for a friend by name.
Send a text schedule a coffeepray for a friend by name and
the same time I want you to dothis Prayerfully evaluate where
(05:33):
you might need to set or reset aboundary to guard your heart
and preserve peace.
If today's conversation helpedyou to think more wisely and
deeply about your relationships,I invite you to connect with us
at communityjameslongjrorg.
That's communityjameslongjrorg.
(05:55):
There you'll find more tools,conversations and support for
growing in relational wisdom,emotional healing and
gospel-centered living.
If you'd like to learn moreabout the different levels of
membership and everything thatis available, visit
jameslongjrorg slash.
Sign up now.
That's jameslongjrorg slash.
(06:18):
Sign up now.
We would love to walk with you.
Let me close in prayer.
Father, thank you for the giftof friendship.
Father, thank you for the giftof friendship.
Teach us to walk wisely, tolove sincerely and to set
boundaries humbly and to buildrelationships that reflect your
truth and grace, shape us intofriends that sharpen and
strengthen one another for yourglory.
(06:40):
We offer our friendships to youIn your son's matchless and
holy name.
We pray Amen.
Well, thank you again forjoining me.
I look forward to continuingthis journey next time as we
explore wisdom for difficultpeople.
Episode 3, wisdom for Friends.
Important areas of our livesmarriage, singleness, family,
work and, today, friendship.
Friendships are one of God'sgreatest gifts, but they can
also be a source of pain ifwe're not wise in how we choose,
cultivate and protect thoserelationships.
Today we're going to talk aboutwisdom for friendships and
(00:43):
boundaries.
Let's dive in Now.
Think about your closestfriends.
Are they people that build youup and challenge you to love
Christ more deeply, who walkwith you through both joy and
sorrows, or are they somerelationships that leave you
feeling drained, manipulated anddisrespected?
The reality is not allfriendships are equal, and
(01:06):
scripture makes it clear thatthe people that we consistently
walk with shape our lives inprofound ways.
Friendship is not a casualthing.
In God's eyes it's formational,and walking in wisdom means
choosing, investing in andsometimes protecting those
relationships carefully.
Let's look at a fewfoundational scripture together.
(01:27):
In Proverbs, chapter 13, verse20, it says whoever walks with
the wise becomes wise, but thecompanion of fools will suffer
harm.
Proverbs, chapter 18, verse 24,tells us a man of many
companions may come to ruin, butthere's a friend who sticks
closer than a brother.
And Proverbs, chapter 27, verse6, reminds us faithful are the
(01:51):
wounds of a friend profuse arethe kisses of an enemy.
Now, according to God's word,the quality of our relationships
matters far more than thequantity.
Wise friendships sharpen,encourage and point us to Christ
.
Wise friendships are rooted ingodliness.
A true friend is not justsomeone who makes you laugh or
(02:14):
shares your hobby.
It's someone who helps you walkwith God.
Wise friendships speak thetruth in love.
They celebrate without jealousy.
They challenge you when youdrift and walk with you through
adversity.
Ask yourself do my closestfriends encourage my spiritual
growth?
(02:34):
And how about this one?
Am I becoming more like Christbecause of the people I spend
most of my time with Now?
The second thing I want you toconsider is this Wise
friendships are marked by mutualrespect.
Healthy friendships aren'tone-sided.
There's mutual listening,mutual encouragement and mutual
(02:54):
sacrifice.
If a friendship constantlydrains you without any
reciprocity, or if it fostersgossip, cynicism or compromise,
wisdom says it's time toevaluate Proverbs.
Chapter 17, verse 17, says Afriend loves at all times and a
brother is born for adversity.
True friendships carry oneanother's burden, not just
(03:18):
during the easy seasons, butthrough the hard ones as well.
I want you to imagine twofriends.
One is built on common hobbies,but every conversation drifts
towards negativity, criticismand gossip.
The other one is built on ashared faith in Christ.
Conversations are marked byprayer, encouragement, scripture
, laughter and honesty, evenwhen it's hard.
(03:40):
Over time, those friendshipswill bear different kind of
fruit.
One will leave you feelingweary and stagnant, and the
other will strengthen your heartand spur you towards love and
good works.
Friendship is powerful.
Wisdom asks what kind offriendships am I cultivating and
what kind of friend am Ibecoming?
Burdens are not just aboutbuilding walls of isolation.
(04:04):
They're about creating healthygates that allow safe,
life-giving relationships in andgently protects you from
consistent harm.
Jesus himself modeled this.
He loved everyone, but hedidn't give equal access to
everyone.
He ministered to many, hediscipled 12, and he shared his
heart most intimately.
With.
(04:24):
Three Boundaries inrelationships might look like
this Limiting time with thosewho stir up conflict or
discouragement, clarifyingemotional expectations with your
friends who are consistentlydemanding, protecting your heart
from gossip or negativitywithout severing kindness.
Wisdom means knowing when tolean in and when to create space
(04:48):
.
Now I want you to take a momentand reflect.
Who are the three people Ispend the most emotional energy
on each week?
Are those relationships drawingme closer to Christ or are they
pulling me away from Him?
Are there boundaries that Ineed to prayerfully consider
setting for the sake of wisdomand peace?
Walking wisely in relationshipsdoesn't mean we reject people.
(05:12):
It means that we love wisely,protect what is sacred and stay
faithful to Christ first.
Now, this week, here's yourchallenge Invest intentionally
in a relationship that builds upyour faith.
Send a text schedule a coffeepray for a friend by name.
Send a text schedule a coffeepray for a friend by name and
the same time I want you to dothis Prayerfully evaluate where
(05:33):
you might need to set or reset aboundary to guard your heart
and preserve peace.
If today's conversation helpedyou to think more wisely and
deeply about your relationships,I invite you to connect with us
at communityjameslongjrorg.
That's communityjameslongjrorg.
(05:55):
There you'll find more tools,conversations and support for
growing in relational wisdom,emotional healing and
gospel-centered living.
If you'd like to learn moreabout the different levels of
membership and everything thatis available, visit
jameslongjrorg slash.
Sign up now.
That's jameslongjrorg slash.
(06:18):
Sign up now.
We would love to walk with you.
Let me close in prayer.
Father, thank you for the giftof friendship.
Father, thank you for the giftof friendship.
Teach us to walk wisely, tolove sincerely and to set
boundaries humbly and to buildrelationships that reflect your
truth and grace, shape us intofriends that sharpen and
strengthen one another for yourglory.
(06:40):
We offer our friendships to youIn your son's matchless and
holy name.
We pray Amen.
Well, thank you again forjoining me.
I look forward to continuingthis journey next time as we
explore wisdom for difficultpeople.
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