Wisdom That Builds Trust (Not Walls)

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ABOUT JAMES AND LESSONS FOR LIFE

Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join Dr. James Long, Jr., a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life’s biggest questions and helps us find God’s solutions to life’s struggles. Learn the power of living by God’s grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are in search of freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Episode 1, wisdom that Builds, not Breaks, series
Wisdom for Every Relationship.
Hi, friends and welcome toLessons for Life with James Long
Jr.
Today we're beginning a brandnew series called Wisdom for
Every Relationship.
Over the next several weekswe'll walk through the powerful

(00:22):
ways God calls you to livewisely in marriage, friendships,
family work and even dealingwith difficult people.
If you've ever felt tension inyour relationships or wondered
how to build strongerconnections, this series is for
you.
Today we're starting at thefoundation wisdom that builds,
not breaks.

(00:43):
Have you ever watched aconstruction project?
Maybe it was a home being builtin your neighborhood, or
renovation at your church oroffice building.
The process is slow foundationfirst, then careful framing and
then, layer by layer, it startsto take shape.
But demolition happens fast Afew well-placed strikes and the

(01:05):
wall comes crashing down.
Relationships work the same way.
Day by day, word by word, we'reeither building something
strong or slowly weakening thestructure by our carelessness.
The question is not whether weare building something, but it's
what you're building, andscripture has a lot to say about
the kind of wisdom thatstrengthens or destroys.

(01:27):
Let's anchor our hearts toGod's word together.
Proverbs, chapter 14, verse 1,says the wisest of women builds
her house, but folly, with herown hands tears it down.
James, chapter 3, tells us whois wise and understanding among
you by his good conduct.
Let him show his works in themeekness of wisdom.

(01:49):
The wisdom that is from aboveis first pure, then peaceable,
gentle, open to reason, full ofmercies and good fruit.
According to Scripture, wisdomisn't just knowing a lot of
information.
It's revealed in how we live,especially how we handle
relationships.
James draws a sharp contrastbetween two types of wisdom One

(02:11):
that is pure, peaceable, gentleand merciful, and one that is
rooted in selfish ambition andpride.
Now let's first talk aboutearthly wisdom.
James warns us that worldlywisdom is often fueled by
jealousy and self-centeredness.
It looks clever, persuasive andeven impressive on the outside,
but underneath it leads todivision, suspicion and

(02:35):
brokenness.
In earthly wisdom, winning theargument matters more than
pursuing the relationship.
Protecting pride matters morethan pursuing peace, and selfish
ambition replaces sincere love.
Slowly, brick by brick, trustis dismantled.
Second, let's look at godlywisdom.
Godly wisdom is pure, nottainted by hidden motives.

(02:56):
It's peaceable, not defensiveor combative.
It's gentle, not harsh ordomineering.
It's open to reason, notstubbornly clinging to control.
It's full of mercy, not quickto condemn.
And when you walk in godlywisdom, you become a builder,
building trust through honesty,building security through

(03:18):
kindness and buildingreconciliation through humility.
Now I want you to picture this.
A husband and wife are havingan argument.
The wife expresses that shefeels unheard and hurt.
Earthly wisdom says you're toosensitive.
I didn't mean it that way.
Get over it.
Walls go up, wounds deepen.

(03:38):
Now here's godly wisdom.
Godly wisdom says this I am sosorry, I hurt you.
Help me understand better how Ican love you more wisely.
Walls come down and healingbegins.
One response builds, the otherbreaks.
It's not about being perfect.
It's about choosing a betterpath when tension arises.

(03:59):
Now let's slow down and reflectIn your recent conversations.
Whose wisdom has been shapingyour words, god's or the world's
?
When conflict arises, do youlisten before speaking?
Do you seek peace or do youseek to win?
Are you willing to be gentlewhen you feel attacked?

(04:21):
Are you quick to show mercy,even when you're right?
Wisdom is not passive, it'sactive.
It chooses humility.
It builds peace.
One conversation, one prayerand one relationship at a time.
Now, this week, I want tochallenge you.
Pick one relationship at home,at work and in your extended

(04:41):
family and ask what would itlook like to walk in the
meekness of wisdom here.
Maybe it means pausing beforereacting.
Maybe it means asking aclarifying question instead of
making assumptions andaccusations.
Maybe it simply means speakingwords that heal not hurt.
If you'd like to grow deeperwith us and continue to build

(05:03):
stronger relationships, I inviteyou to join our community at
communityjameslongjrorg.
That's communityjameslongjrorg,and if you'd like to learn more
about the different levels ofmembership and all the
additional resources we offer,visit jameslongjrorg slash.

(05:26):
Sign up now.
We would love to walk alongsideyou in this journey towards
relational wisdom andgospel-centered living.
Let me close in prayer.
Father, thank you for yourwisdom that builds what we could
never build on our own.
Teach us to walk humbly, speakgently and to walk wisely.
May our homes, lord, and ourworkplaces in our community

(05:48):
reflect the beauty of Christ'sheart.
We surrender our relationshipsto you today.
In Jesus' name, we pray Amen.
Well, thank you for joining me.
I look forward to growing withyou next time and we continue
our series Wisdom for EveryRelationship.