May 20, 2025 • 33 mins
High-achievers often reach burnout because they put too little focus on what truly fulfills them. In this episode, Brennan, a burnout prevention coach and Marine Corps veteran, shares his personal journey through burnout and how he lost everything before discovering a healthier path forward.
We cover the warning signs of burnout as well as practical advice to prevent burnout with tools like dynamic prioritization and energy audits.
If you are worried you are existing rather than truly living, you'll gain real tips to evaluate your time and choices.
*Note* There are mentions of substance abuse and suicidal thoughts in this episode.
About the Guest:
Brennan Hilleary is a burnout prevention coach, keynote speaker, and Marine Corps veteran. As the founder of Build Your Power LLC, he helps high-achieving business owners and professionals take back control of their time, energy, and success outside of work. Through practical tools and a values-first approach, Brennan empowers clients to prevent burnout and build lives they don’t feel the need to escape from.
Website: www.build-your-power.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Parker (00:00):
Hi, today we are welcomed by Brennan.
Brennan is a burnout preventioncoach, a keynote speaker and a
Marine Corps veteran.
As founder of Build your Power,he helps high-achieving
business owners andprofessionals take back control
of their time, energy andsuccess outside of work.
So welcome Brennan.
Brennan (00:20):
Yeah, thank you so much , Parker.
I'm super excited, appreciateyou having me on.
Parker (00:24):
Yeah, this is great.
So we just mentioned yourburnout coach.
You've obviously been burnoutbefore.
Do you want to tell me a bitabout how you got there and how
you burnout the first time?
Brennan (00:37):
Sure, absolutely yeah.
So for me, burnout wassomething that was a slow,
steady build.
I didn't really I never reallyhad any education or awareness
around burnout.
So how it started with me waswhen I was 19 years old, I
joined the Marine Corps Reservesand I also started my corporate
career at the same time.
So I've always been, in someinstance, somebody who's really
(00:59):
purpose-driven, would considermyself a high achiever, and
because of that, I really didn'tknow exactly how to set
boundaries for myself.
I didn't really know how toprioritize my own personal
well-being and my own needs inthe pursuit of the big goals
that I wanted to accomplish formyself.
So throughout my corporatecareer, I was the person who
(01:21):
would always say yes and I wasalways the person who would
tackle any challenge that camemy way.
And because of that, in orderfor me to maintain that persona
or maintain that identity of theguy who always got things done,
I found myself having to pushthrough a lot of exhaustion and
push through a lot of feelingoverwhelmed and, you know, was
(01:43):
just essentially acting like Iwas a machine for a long time,
and I started experiencingburnout symptoms probably three
years into my career.
So 2017 is when I started mycareer in 2020 is when I really
essentially like demoted myselfbecause I couldn't maintain the
level of activity that wasnecessary to do my job, and so
(02:05):
that's when I was feeling likechronic exhaustion.
I felt guilty, when I wasslowing down and saying, no, I
just didn't really like have anysource of fulfillment or joy
outside of my job.
That's where I got all of mysatisfaction from, and so that's
like the first time it becamereally relevant to me that maybe
burnout was something I wasexperiencing.
(02:25):
However, because I had thisstigma around burnout and I
didn't really want to acceptthat I was burned out, I doubled
down.
So, instead of resting andcreating space for my life to
recover more, what I would do isI would.
You know, I got prescribedAdderall and I got prescribed
Vyvanse and had these stimulantsto help me with continuing to
(02:47):
push through it, because Ididn't really know the deeper
sign of what was going on, andwhat ended up happening was 2022
is when everything stoppedworking.
So all of the stimulants I wastaking the caffeine, like the
you know, I wasn't getting anyfulfillment for my job.
That's when I got so burned outto the point where I really
(03:08):
couldn't keep going and I had toput in my month notice at my
job and at this point in time aswell, I essentially lost my
relationship because I was sodisconnected from her.
I lost the apartment that I hadbecause I couldn't even sustain
a job after going through like,after pushing through burnout
for so long, and I losteverything and essentially had
(03:30):
to learn how to rebuild myentire life from the ground up
and heal from it, knowing how toprioritize my fulfillment and
the forefront, you know, as Iwas pursuing goals.
Parker (03:41):
So so you talked a little bit about kind of how you
hit the end.
What would you say are somewarning signs to look out for in
someone else or yourself thatyou might be approaching a level
that's unhealthy?
Brennan (03:58):
Yeah, great question.
So if you find yourself afteryou're off work just too tired
to do anything, you can get allthe things done in your life
that you know you have to getdone, but anything that you want
to do is something that itfeels like you're trudging
through mud to get there.
Um, I would say, if you have areally hard time, just if you
(04:19):
have this chronic feeling oflike you're always tired no
matter what you're doing, likelike no amount of coffee in the
world helps you with getting theenergy that you need, I would
say having a hard time with kindof this overall feeling of
numbness, so not able to likeexperience emotions deeply,
that's a really, really big sign, just because there's probably
(04:42):
a part of you that'sdisassociated from feeling the
way that you felt, because yournervous system has been in a
part of you that's disassociatedfrom feeling the way that you
felt, because your nervoussystem has been in a state of
fight or flight for so long.
And then one of the other onesthat's really important is a lot
of essentially like, if you'renot doing something, if you
don't have an agenda, you don'thave like a task at hand, you
(05:03):
being extremely uncomfortablewith that and not really being
able to sit still without thislike nagging feeling of I have
to be doing something.
That's probably one of thebiggest signs.
Parker (05:13):
So it sounds like there are both physical and mental
side effects from this.
Do you think that there aredifferent levels of burnout,
like maybe somebody is in thebeginning stages or maybe
somebody is like about to break?
Brennan (05:32):
Yeah.
Parker (05:33):
Um, and since you do feel that way, are there ways to
kind of approach that early on,if you aren't in, maybe, the
later levels?
Brennan (05:44):
Absolutely so, yeah, and I consider myself a burnout
prevention coach, so that's kindof where my specialty is is,
you know, before you get to thepoint that I got to, which is
stage five, burnout, which isessentially, it's chronic, it's
like it's like you're operatingin a way that's not sustainable,
consistently Right.
So you, that's that's stagefive.
I would say, like the first fewstages, like a sign that you're
(06:07):
really going towards that path,would be, um, I would say one
is you don't have a source of,you don't have a hobby for
yourself, you don't have likesources of joy outside of your
work.
Um, so I tend to work with likepeople who are like workaholics
, right.
So, um, you don't have a sourceof.
(06:30):
There's a difference betweenrest and recharging, and this is
something that's reallyimportant to understand.
So rest is like the same thingas like a phone being unplugged,
right, so we're a phone beingturned off.
So when you get home from work,you get home from a long day,
and you find yourself mindlesslyscrolling social media a lot
you find yourself just likewatching TV, like you don't feel
(06:54):
like you have the energy to dosomething that's actually going
to recharge you.
That's a really big sign thatyou're already in the early
stages just because your nervoussystem is most likely in a
state of functional freeze.
Parker (07:07):
Okay, so that's like the rest aspect.
Yeah, and recharging, I'mguessing, is like refilling
yourself.
Okay, so that's like the restaspect.
Yeah yeah, recharging, I'mguessing it's like refilling
yourself with.
Brennan (07:14):
Yeah, so so recharging is like doing things in your
life that light you up.
So it's doing things for thesake of like.
For me that would be, you know,guitar playing guitar and
singing, and like connectingwith my loved ones and hiking
and physical exercise.
A lot of people, what I've seen, seen because we live in such a
society of hustle and grindculture.
They don't actively pour intoactivities that pour into them.
(07:37):
So burnout from a very simpledefinition is when the things in
your life that drain you ishigher than the things in your
life that energize you.
Parker (07:48):
Okay.
Brennan (07:49):
So when the ratio of things that drain you is higher
than the things that energizeyou, that's where burnout comes
from.
And you do that for a longenough time period, then that's
where it's chronic.
That's where, like, you're kindof stuck in that burnout cycle.
Parker (08:02):
So yeah, so I'm guessing for some people, maybe work
does energize them, but if theytake it too far it becomes
unhealthy.
Brennan (08:12):
Okay, yeah, and I so, and and so we have seven areas
of life, right, we don't justhave work and we don't just have
personal life, right, there's.
So it's like way moremultidimensional, right.
So what happens is, when we'renot conscious about these other
areas of life like we, if we'reonly relying on one area as our
(08:32):
source of energy and what's, butthen we're neglecting these
other areas in our personal lifewhat happens is, over time, the
ratio of, like the, the thingsthat drain us, starts to
increase.
And then, and then our, our joband our the thing that used to
fill our cup up it starts togive us less and less energy and
less and less satisfaction.
(08:52):
It's almost like I love to usethe phone example because it's
relatable.
If, like, you have a bunch ofapps running in the background
and your brightness is at, like,full throttle, right it's.
You know that's gonna drain youa lot quicker than if you, like
close out the tabs and, likeyou're intentional about like,
hey, I'm gonna put this on lowbattery mode, I'm going to
charge it up.
(09:13):
So the way our energy works isvery similar.
Parker (09:19):
What are the seven areas of life?
Because I know I gave you ahard time there, but in life it
does become a lot just aboutlike personal and professional,
but it sounds like it makessense that there's more to it.
So what are those areas?
Brennan (09:31):
Absolutely so.
We got social life, so that'dbe like a sense of community and
your friends, so connectionwith people.
You got family life, whichpretty obviously that's
significant other and that'syour children, that's your home
life.
You got spirituality, so,whatever that means to you,
whether that's a connection toself, it's a connection to God,
the universe.
A sense of purpose is a goodway to think of spirituality.
(09:54):
Um, doing something greater thanyourself.
Um, you got career we know thatone, right.
We got financial we know thatone too.
Um, and then we have mentalhealth, so, um, that's going to
be pretty, you know, we knowthat.
And then also physical health.
So those are the seven areas oflife, and what happens is most
(10:17):
people they don't really knowwhat they want out of all these
areas.
They know what they want out ofthe career, they know what they
want financially maybe, andthey know what they want out of
like one or two, maybe one ortwo other areas.
So, whether that's likephysical health and family, or
mental health and spirituality,it's very rare that people kind
of create a North Star for allof them.
Parker (10:38):
So well, it's like to me .
I'm like, oh you know, like Ican think of things that would
fill me up in all of those areas, but I feel like it would be so
hard to maintain.
Yeah, like, if I look back atmy life, there have been times
where I was like super strong onmy physical health, or I was
super strong on my social lifeor my personal, but I you're
right Like it's hard to maintaina healthy balance for more than
(11:01):
a few of those.
Brennan (11:03):
Yeah, and I want to, and I want to debunk balance too
, because I think, I think, Ithink the way that society talks
about balance is I have to putan equal amount of energy into
every area of my life, and thatis a recipe in itself for
burnout, right?
Because what the standard is isa perfectionism, right?
So it's like, no matter whatseason of life I'm in, I got to
(11:25):
put all this energy into it, andthe way I like to think about
it is more so, like I call it,dynamic prioritization, okay, so
it's like, based off the seasonof life, that you it and the
way I like to think about it ismore so.
Like I call it, dynamicprioritization.
Okay, so it's like based offthe season of life that you're
in right now.
It's like being intentionalabout realistically, we can only
consciously build three areasof our life at once, right.
Anything more than that isreally overwhelming.
(11:46):
So it's not only beingconscious about what areas of
life I want to build based offthe season I'm in, but it's not
only being conscious about whatareas of life I want to build
based off the season I'm in, butit's also what areas of life am
I okay with just maintaining,right, and just kind of keeping
keeping here.
It's like, for example, for me,right now, I'm building my
business right now right.
So I know there's going to be acouple of areas of life I need
(12:07):
to put on the back burner alittle bit.
But the difference betweensomebody who's overwhelmed and
somebody who isn't overwhelmedjust comes from a perceived lack
of control.
So that means if I'm notconsciously putting my you know
kind of leaving these areas onthe back burner, if I feel like
that's happening to me, I feellike it's not my choice, well
(12:30):
then I'm going to feel likethings are out of control and
I'm going to feel overwhelmedbecause that's not my decision.
I feel like the world is, youknow, happening to me right,
whereas if I know what I'mfocusing on right, which
prioritization is a whole nothertopic.
You got to kind of know whatare, what are my values and what
do I actually want in order toprioritize, right.
But if I know those things andI know what I'm building and I'm
(12:53):
really conscious of that, thenI'm gonna feel way less
overwhelmed because now I'm veryclear on hey, this is the
priority and this is not thepriority.
Parker (13:01):
So, like this is my season to focus on building my
business or improving myphysical health, and will
maintain, maybe family andsocial, but it's not gonna to be
what my main priority is.
And because I'm consciouslychoosing to do that, I'm not as
upset about it because it's notlike, oh like I don't get to do
anything I want to do because ofExactly, and now I can
(13:24):
communicate.
Brennan (13:25):
You know, now I can communicate with these people in
my life and these areas tooright.
Like I can, I can advocate forthat for myself.
Like I can, you know, and I canlike not now.
That's also a lot of timeswhere the guilt comes from, is
feeling like, you know, it's outof my control too, so it's like
I feel guilty if I don't knowhow to prioritize right the
(13:45):
areas of my life I need toprioritize properly.
So what happens is there's thisoverwhelming sense of like I'm
not doing enough.
Parker (13:52):
Yeah.
Brennan (13:53):
Right and that that on feeling that a lot of high
achievers feel and just peoplein general too, it's like you
can't turn it off because you'renot being intentional about
where you're, where you'reputting it, you know this is so
fascinating.
Parker (14:08):
Wow, I feel like there were so many good tidbits in
there, like the balance part I'mfascinated by.
I love it.
So you believe that yourmission is to kind of help
prevent burnout?
Am I correct in that?
Brennan (14:26):
I would say it's a little bit yeah.
So I would say from the frontend, I would say burnout
prevention is yes, it's helpingpeople where they don't get to
the point of their burnout,where, like, they have to lose
everything in order to learn howto prioritize their own
personal wellbeing.
I would say, on a deeper level,what I really wanna empower
people to do is I wanna helpthem with really figuring out
(14:48):
who they really are and thenbuilding a life that reflects
that.
So I'm a huge believer that weall have certain desires for a
reason.
Parker (15:00):
Right.
Brennan (15:00):
And I also believe that we're trained depending on our
upbringing or who we're around.
As we get older, I think thatwe're trained in a way to
sometimes abandon those desiresand abandon our own values for
the sake of having to survive,or because we're told by other
people what we want is notsomething we're worthy of, or
(15:21):
it's not realistic, or whatever.
The story is that we learn thelimiting beliefs that we learn.
So what happens is we try toforce ourselves to build a life
and live in a way that's notactually authentic to who we
really are and what we reallywant.
And then I also think that'swhy there's so many people that
are externally successful.
Their life looks good on paper,but they're internally
(15:44):
miserable, and for me, I want tohelp people reconnect with who
am I really and then knowpractically how do I build a
life for myself that reflectsthat.
Parker (15:58):
So it doesn't necessarily mean that your job
has to be a part of your mission.
It just means you have to buildyour life towards that mission,
because there's the seven areas, and it doesn't have to be
career.
Brennan (16:09):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
And so people think aboutpurpose a lot of times as if
it's like what I do, and that'salso what I used to think about
it as, too, because I tied mywhole self worth to like what I
did and how productive I was andhow much I achieved Right.
And the more that I've donethis you know a lot of inner
work with myself and the moreI've helped people with getting
(16:29):
more in touch with who they are.
What I've realized and what Ibelieve is that our purpose is
not what we do, it's who we'rebecoming in the process.
So the thing about success islike.
The only thing that makessuccess sustainable in my
perspective, is fulfillment.
(16:49):
Fulfillment can only come frombecoming the person that we're
meant to be, and success comesfrom what we achieve in the
process process.
So I spent my whole lifechasing success, thinking it was
going to give me fulfillment,not realizing that in order for
(17:15):
me to get fulfillment, I have todo it in a way that I have.
The process of getting to whereI want to go needs to be
fulfilling in itself.
Parker (17:20):
Like.
Brennan (17:20):
I need to be so, I need to be satisfied from actually
doing it, and that's and that'swhere a lot of people when they
say, enjoy the process.
Right, um, life's a journey,not a destination, right?
Practically, what that means is, if you learn what your values
are and you learn how to live inaccordance with those values,
right.
What happens is now you'refulfilled in the process of
(17:44):
becoming, which means that youdon't care as much about needing
to get to this, thisdestination over here.
Like you don't get all of yourdopamine from.
Like oh, I just achieved thisgoal.
Like that's not good enough, Ineed to achieve more.
That's not good enough.
Now you have this steady flowof oh, like I'm living instead
of waiting for the next thing toexternally to make me happy.
Parker (18:07):
Like enjoying the training, not just competition
day or something like that kindof thing.
Exactly, yeah.
Brennan (18:13):
Yeah, and it's hard because we don't live in a
society that, I think, a lot oftimes reinforces that.
You know it's, it's a lot ofdestination based thinking.
Parker (18:23):
I feel like the one piece of advice that I've always
struggled with is wheneversomebody was like, if you do
what you love, you're neverworking a day in your life, and
I feel like for me, I feel likethat's BS.
Brennan (18:33):
It is BS, I agree.
Parker (18:34):
And a lot of times, if you turn something you love into
work, you might lose some ofthe fun of it.
Brennan (18:40):
Yeah.
Parker (18:41):
And so I had somebody recently be like I want you to
feel like impassioned by yourjob and like love it, truly love
it, and I'm like I don't Idon't need that, like there are
other areas of my life that Ifeel like I truly love, and as
long as I feel like I'm workingin my strengths, like there are
(19:01):
definitely things that may notbe my strength, that would be
more of a slog, but as long asI'm working in my strengths, I
don't.
Brennan (19:06):
I don't need my job to be like the thing I just feel
good about it Like yeah, I lovethat perspective and and and
that's.
And it's a lot of pressure,right.
Like the pressure to be like Ihave to get my main source of
fulfillment from my job, likefor a lot of people that may not
be 100% feasible, right.
So it's like and this is, it'sso funny, we're talking about
(19:28):
this, so I do presentations fororganizations too, and the whole
concept of it is like one.
It's like showing people whatis burnout like, what are the
symptoms, what are the rootcauses.
But it's like how do I createfulfillment outside of work so I
can show up better inside ofwork?
Like that's my whole thing.
It's like we're not.
I'm not here to tell you how todo your job better.
(19:50):
I'm here to show you how do youprioritize your own personal
fulfillment, because you have somuch opportunity to do that and
and and.
You're and in your life outsideof work.
Right, you're not burned outbecause of work.
You're burned out becauseyou're doing too little of what
lights you up, period, right.
And it's like if we, if wedon't, if we and so many people,
(20:13):
including me, I'm stillfiguring this out Like people
don't even know what lights themup, because they've never given
themselves the opportunity tofind out, you know.
Parker (20:26):
So I have two follow-up questions from that One.
I mean, you are the coach here,but we're all human.
Do you find yourself slippingback towards burnout from time
to time?
Brennan (20:36):
Absolutely, oh yeah, oh yeah, a hundred percent.
So yeah, I mean recently likeso I'm building a business right
?
So for me, you know, I have oneof the biggest limiting beliefs
that was running my life foryou know, up until recently, was
I have to suffer in order to besuccessful?
Parker (21:00):
Yeah, a lot of people like entrepreneurs probably feel
that way, like I'm going tosacrifice for three years but
it's going to pay off later andthey're like, miserable for
those three years but they'rebuilding.
Brennan (21:08):
Yeah.
And the thing is, once they getthere, it's like, oh, I don't
even know how to enjoy this,right, because the thing about a
belief system is like it's it'srunning in your unconscious.
So, like for me, I have thesestill core store.
Everybody has like three tofive core stories that they've
developed throughout their life,and these core stories either
(21:30):
enable you to be more of who youare or they take you further
away from that.
So it's either it eithercreates belief systems that
amplify your actual values andwho you really are or take you
away from Right, and what Iwould find in my business, for
example, is like and this is howI was kind of creeping towards
burnout as a burnout preventioncoach is like I would find
(21:52):
something that works as far aslike acquiring clients, like
build a system.
It's like, oh, like this is howI consistently get clients.
And then what would happen is,when I would see results from it
, I'd be like, oh, I got to gobigger now.
And then I would likecompletely change the system and
not stay consistent with thething that actually works.
And then, all of a sudden, Ilost all my momentum.
(22:13):
I was making things way morecomplicated for myself than they
had to be, and part of that wasbecause I lived in such a stage
like a really turbulentchildhood to where so
consistency and mundane andboring feels unsafe, right, so I
would create chaos out ofnothing because that felt safer
(22:36):
to me than actually embracingthe slow, consistent actions
that I needed to take everysingle day to build my business.
Parker (22:44):
My therapist told me that two years ago.
I'm having deja vu, hey love it.
Brennan (22:50):
I don't want to create chaos, you know, and I'm like
whatever.
Parker (22:54):
Okay, you said people don't often know what fulfills
them.
What are some kind of thingsthat you would suggest for
people, for them to be able toexplore and figure out what does
fulfill them?
Brennan (23:08):
Yeah, great question.
So one is what did you like todo as a kid, right?
So that's the first thing Ialways tell people.
When we're kids, we knowintuitively, we know how to do
what we're talking about.
When we're kids we don't havean agenda for our life.
When we're kids, we know welike to be present, enjoy the
moment, do things for the sakeof fulfillment, right, like
(23:29):
that's kind of like already anddaily in us, we learn how to be
different than that, right?
So a lot of this process oflearning your own fulfillment is
unlearning the patterns and thebehaviors and the things that
have made you think that that'snot a priority in your life,
right, and that you know, youhear it all the time oh, it's
time to grow up.
(23:51):
We're all just oversizedchildren, right, we're all just
like.
We're all just children thatlike we, you know, like are just
trying to like be an adult andlike we think that we have to
like, essentially like, kill acertain part of our innocence
and joy in order to do that andI don't fundamentally just think
(24:18):
that's true.
It's going to be reallyuncomfortable to start, like
allowing yourself to do thingsjust for the sake of joy,
because your nervous system hasbeen trained to not enjoy those
things.
So giving yourself some graceas you're like, trying out those
things to, is by default.
(24:38):
If you ask yourself what are myfour core values and you spend
a lot of time figuring those outthe areas of your life that
you're practicing your valuesthe most are the areas you feel
the most fulfilled in, whetheryou're conscious of it or not,
and the areas of life you'repracticing in the least are the
ones you feel the most drainedin.
(24:59):
So being consciously aware ofwhat you're, what you value, is
really helpful, because then youcan start intentionally
reinforcing them in differentareas of life.
Parker (25:11):
Would you suggest for like people let's be honest,
like most people feel likethey're so busy they don't have
time to explore.
But would you suggest maybescheduling time, like, okay, on
Saturday for two hours, I'mgoing to do this and that's what
I'm going to do.
Brennan (25:27):
Yeah.
So the thing is, you have tomake it a priority, right.
So so you know there's there'sa reason why we don't give
ourselves time to slow down,right, there's a reason why we
don't give ourselves time toreflect, and and I don't so
procrastination.
I think a lot of times peoplethink that comes from like a
lack of discipline or laziness,but you know where I really
(25:50):
think it comes from Fear.
Parker (25:55):
Okay.
Brennan (25:56):
It's the fear of what happens when I slow down and I
actually have the chance toreflect and I see, I learn and
I've let myself see the factthat maybe the way my life looks
right now is not actually theway I want it to be.
Parker (26:14):
That could probably be uncomfortable, especially after
spending all this time doinggetting yeah.
Brennan (26:19):
Yeah, so it's like I've spent all this time and energy
building this life I thought Iwanted for myself, right.
So me slowing down andreflecting Right Me looking at
that is terrifying because it'sgoing to contradict, right, some
of the things that I have goingfor me right now in my life.
Parker (26:37):
Yeah, like, I feel like that could be like a midlife
crisis there.
Like is that where midlifecrisis comes from?
All of a sudden, reflecting,being like is this what I really
wanted?
Brennan (26:49):
100%.
I had midlife crisis.
I had quarter-life crisis.
I think human beings areamazing at avoiding the things
that they need to avoid, right,or they.
You know.
They're really good atdistracting, especially in our
society.
Now it's like there's so manydifferent ways you can distract
(27:10):
yourself.
Parker (27:11):
Productive procrastination in a way.
Brennan (27:14):
Yeah, yeah, it's like people are mistaking motion for
progress.
They think they think those arethe same thing, right.
And the crazy part about this,the most important thing that
I've realized for peoplelistening, what you avoid
controls you.
Parker (27:30):
Wow.
Brennan (27:31):
So that means what happens when you don't face what
you actually want, when youdon't allow yourself to see it.
It will control you and youwill get to a point where you're
forced to face it.
Parker (27:47):
Brennan, you may call yourself a preventative burnout
coach, but I feel like you're alittle bit of a therapist too.
Brennan (27:55):
I hear that a lot.
Thank you, wow, okay.
Parker (28:01):
So if you kind of could give people some generic kind of
one sentence advice they shoulddo to try and prevent burnout
or address burnout, what wouldthat be?
Brennan (28:17):
Step one is I want you to, for one day this is probably
the most powerful thing you cando to start really putting
practical evidence to suggestwhat we're talking about so, for
one day, I want you to make anenergy audit list, which means
that I want you to pay attention, just for one day, pay
attention to after you dosomething, after you talk to
(28:40):
somebody do you feel more tiredor do you feel less tired?
Right, do you feel more and doyou feel, did you, did you get
energy from doing this thing ordid you get less energy from
doing this thing?
And I want you to write down,just go throughout the day and,
and, and and kind of take noteof that.
Don't judge yourself for it.
(29:00):
Just just do an energy auditand see, like, how many things
am I doing daily that drain meversus how many things am I
doing that energize me.
And if you allow yourself to dothat, if you're experiencing
burnout symptoms which, from myperspective, I definitely more
on the emotional and like mentalside of burnout right, I would
(29:21):
say the energetic side, chronicexhaustion, constantly
procrastinating and feelingoverwhelmed If you're
experiencing those things andyou do that list, I guarantee
that the ratio of things thatyou're doing that drain you on a
daily basis is a lot higherthan the things that you're
(29:41):
doing that energize you.
And then what's one thing youcan do to prioritize more of the
thing that you figured out thatenergizes you.
So how do I make that more of apriority in my life, whether
that's scheduling it, that'smaking it a habit, it's you know
.
How do I schedule more time formyself to be able to do more of
(30:02):
that thing?
Parker (30:03):
I love that.
And if you could go back andtalk to yourself when you were
like, struggling, like when youwere at the height of your
taking stimulants and juststruggling to exist, like what
would you tell yourself at thetime?
Brennan (30:29):
I would tell that version of myself that you
deserve to live the life that'smeant for you.
Parker (30:38):
That's really lovely, yeah, um, and I think, if I'm
thinking about it, like peopletalk about, like people on their
deathbed, their regrets areusually like not the things that
they did, but the things thatthey didn't do, and I think
that's always been my fear isnot feeling like I've lived life
(30:58):
while living.
I love that your advice is totry and do those things that
that kind of fulfill you,because I imagine by following
that, it would help preventfeeling that way near the end of
your life.
Brennan (31:21):
Absolutely yeah, and it's.
I think so many people havethat fear and can relate to that
.
And the thing is is you knowwhen I was at my lowest point
and I'll be really transparentand vulnerable for the audience
you know, there was a time whereI didn't want to be here
anymore and before I followedthrough with that, I literally
my turning point was I heard avoice in my head that said do
not end your life before youknow what it's like to really
(31:42):
live it, really live it.
And that's when I realized thatthere's a huge difference
between existing and living, andthe difference is are you doing
the things that you actuallywant to do or are you trying to
live a life that isn't yours andit just takes?
(32:05):
Do the work now, listen to yourheart and don't wait 30 years
down the road where you're 70years old and you realize that
your entire life has been basedoff of what other people want
for you, not what you want foryou.
Parker (32:21):
Yeah, wow, thank you.
Um yeah, thank you so much.
Thanks for joining me you'rewelcome.
Hi, today we are welcomed by Brennan.
Brennan is a burnout preventioncoach, a keynote speaker and a
Marine Corps veteran.
As founder of Build your Power,he helps high-achieving
business owners andprofessionals take back control
of their time, energy andsuccess outside of work.
So welcome Brennan.
Brennan (00:20):
Yeah, thank you so much , Parker.
I'm super excited, appreciateyou having me on.
Parker (00:24):
Yeah, this is great.
So we just mentioned yourburnout coach.
You've obviously been burnoutbefore.
Do you want to tell me a bitabout how you got there and how
you burnout the first time?
Brennan (00:37):
Sure, absolutely yeah.
So for me, burnout wassomething that was a slow,
steady build.
I didn't really I never reallyhad any education or awareness
around burnout.
So how it started with me waswhen I was 19 years old, I
joined the Marine Corps Reservesand I also started my corporate
career at the same time.
So I've always been, in someinstance, somebody who's really
(00:59):
purpose-driven, would considermyself a high achiever, and
because of that, I really didn'tknow exactly how to set
boundaries for myself.
I didn't really know how toprioritize my own personal
well-being and my own needs inthe pursuit of the big goals
that I wanted to accomplish formyself.
So throughout my corporatecareer, I was the person who
(01:21):
would always say yes and I wasalways the person who would
tackle any challenge that camemy way.
And because of that, in orderfor me to maintain that persona
or maintain that identity of theguy who always got things done,
I found myself having to pushthrough a lot of exhaustion and
push through a lot of feelingoverwhelmed and, you know, was
(01:43):
just essentially acting like Iwas a machine for a long time,
and I started experiencingburnout symptoms probably three
years into my career.
So 2017 is when I started mycareer in 2020 is when I really
essentially like demoted myselfbecause I couldn't maintain the
level of activity that wasnecessary to do my job, and so
(02:05):
that's when I was feeling likechronic exhaustion.
I felt guilty, when I wasslowing down and saying, no, I
just didn't really like have anysource of fulfillment or joy
outside of my job.
That's where I got all of mysatisfaction from, and so that's
like the first time it becamereally relevant to me that maybe
burnout was something I wasexperiencing.
(02:25):
However, because I had thisstigma around burnout and I
didn't really want to acceptthat I was burned out, I doubled
down.
So, instead of resting andcreating space for my life to
recover more, what I would do isI would.
You know, I got prescribedAdderall and I got prescribed
Vyvanse and had these stimulantsto help me with continuing to
(02:47):
push through it, because Ididn't really know the deeper
sign of what was going on, andwhat ended up happening was 2022
is when everything stoppedworking.
So all of the stimulants I wastaking the caffeine, like the
you know, I wasn't getting anyfulfillment for my job.
That's when I got so burned outto the point where I really
(03:08):
couldn't keep going and I had toput in my month notice at my
job and at this point in time aswell, I essentially lost my
relationship because I was sodisconnected from her.
I lost the apartment that I hadbecause I couldn't even sustain
a job after going through like,after pushing through burnout
for so long, and I losteverything and essentially had
(03:30):
to learn how to rebuild myentire life from the ground up
and heal from it, knowing how toprioritize my fulfillment and
the forefront, you know, as Iwas pursuing goals.
Parker (03:41):
So so you talked a little bit about kind of how you
hit the end.
What would you say are somewarning signs to look out for in
someone else or yourself thatyou might be approaching a level
that's unhealthy?
Brennan (03:58):
Yeah, great question.
So if you find yourself afteryou're off work just too tired
to do anything, you can get allthe things done in your life
that you know you have to getdone, but anything that you want
to do is something that itfeels like you're trudging
through mud to get there.
Um, I would say, if you have areally hard time, just if you
(04:19):
have this chronic feeling oflike you're always tired no
matter what you're doing, likelike no amount of coffee in the
world helps you with getting theenergy that you need, I would
say having a hard time with kindof this overall feeling of
numbness, so not able to likeexperience emotions deeply,
that's a really, really big sign, just because there's probably
(04:42):
a part of you that'sdisassociated from feeling the
way that you felt, because yournervous system has been in a
part of you that's disassociatedfrom feeling the way that you
felt, because your nervoussystem has been in a state of
fight or flight for so long.
And then one of the other onesthat's really important is a lot
of essentially like, if you'renot doing something, if you
don't have an agenda, you don'thave like a task at hand, you
(05:03):
being extremely uncomfortablewith that and not really being
able to sit still without thislike nagging feeling of I have
to be doing something.
That's probably one of thebiggest signs.
Parker (05:13):
So it sounds like there are both physical and mental
side effects from this.
Do you think that there aredifferent levels of burnout,
like maybe somebody is in thebeginning stages or maybe
somebody is like about to break?
Brennan (05:32):
Yeah.
Parker (05:33):
Um, and since you do feel that way, are there ways to
kind of approach that early on,if you aren't in, maybe, the
later levels?
Brennan (05:44):
Absolutely so, yeah, and I consider myself a burnout
prevention coach, so that's kindof where my specialty is is,
you know, before you get to thepoint that I got to, which is
stage five, burnout, which isessentially, it's chronic, it's
like it's like you're operatingin a way that's not sustainable,
consistently Right.
So you, that's that's stagefive.
I would say, like the first fewstages, like a sign that you're
(06:07):
really going towards that path,would be, um, I would say one
is you don't have a source of,you don't have a hobby for
yourself, you don't have likesources of joy outside of your
work.
Um, so I tend to work with likepeople who are like workaholics
, right.
So, um, you don't have a sourceof.
(06:30):
There's a difference betweenrest and recharging, and this is
something that's reallyimportant to understand.
So rest is like the same thingas like a phone being unplugged,
right, so we're a phone beingturned off.
So when you get home from work,you get home from a long day,
and you find yourself mindlesslyscrolling social media a lot
you find yourself just likewatching TV, like you don't feel
(06:54):
like you have the energy to dosomething that's actually going
to recharge you.
That's a really big sign thatyou're already in the early
stages just because your nervoussystem is most likely in a
state of functional freeze.
Parker (07:07):
Okay, so that's like the rest aspect.
Yeah, and recharging, I'mguessing, is like refilling
yourself.
Okay, so that's like the restaspect.
Yeah yeah, recharging, I'mguessing it's like refilling
yourself with.
Brennan (07:14):
Yeah, so so recharging is like doing things in your
life that light you up.
So it's doing things for thesake of like.
For me that would be, you know,guitar playing guitar and
singing, and like connectingwith my loved ones and hiking
and physical exercise.
A lot of people, what I've seen, seen because we live in such a
society of hustle and grindculture.
They don't actively pour intoactivities that pour into them.
(07:37):
So burnout from a very simpledefinition is when the things in
your life that drain you ishigher than the things in your
life that energize you.
Parker (07:48):
Okay.
Brennan (07:49):
So when the ratio of things that drain you is higher
than the things that energizeyou, that's where burnout comes
from.
And you do that for a longenough time period, then that's
where it's chronic.
That's where, like, you're kindof stuck in that burnout cycle.
Parker (08:02):
So yeah, so I'm guessing for some people, maybe work
does energize them, but if theytake it too far it becomes
unhealthy.
Brennan (08:12):
Okay, yeah, and I so, and and so we have seven areas
of life, right, we don't justhave work and we don't just have
personal life, right, there's.
So it's like way moremultidimensional, right.
So what happens is, when we'renot conscious about these other
areas of life like we, if we'reonly relying on one area as our
(08:32):
source of energy and what's, butthen we're neglecting these
other areas in our personal lifewhat happens is, over time, the
ratio of, like the, the thingsthat drain us, starts to
increase.
And then, and then our, our joband our the thing that used to
fill our cup up it starts togive us less and less energy and
less and less satisfaction.
(08:52):
It's almost like I love to usethe phone example because it's
relatable.
If, like, you have a bunch ofapps running in the background
and your brightness is at, like,full throttle, right it's.
You know that's gonna drain youa lot quicker than if you, like
close out the tabs and, likeyou're intentional about like,
hey, I'm gonna put this on lowbattery mode, I'm going to
charge it up.
(09:13):
So the way our energy works isvery similar.
Parker (09:19):
What are the seven areas of life?
Because I know I gave you ahard time there, but in life it
does become a lot just aboutlike personal and professional,
but it sounds like it makessense that there's more to it.
So what are those areas?
Brennan (09:31):
Absolutely so.
We got social life, so that'dbe like a sense of community and
your friends, so connectionwith people.
You got family life, whichpretty obviously that's
significant other and that'syour children, that's your home
life.
You got spirituality, so,whatever that means to you,
whether that's a connection toself, it's a connection to God,
the universe.
A sense of purpose is a goodway to think of spirituality.
(09:54):
Um, doing something greater thanyourself.
Um, you got career we know thatone, right.
We got financial we know thatone too.
Um, and then we have mentalhealth, so, um, that's going to
be pretty, you know, we knowthat.
And then also physical health.
So those are the seven areas oflife, and what happens is most
(10:17):
people they don't really knowwhat they want out of all these
areas.
They know what they want out ofthe career, they know what they
want financially maybe, andthey know what they want out of
like one or two, maybe one ortwo other areas.
So, whether that's likephysical health and family, or
mental health and spirituality,it's very rare that people kind
of create a North Star for allof them.
Parker (10:38):
So well, it's like to me .
I'm like, oh you know, like Ican think of things that would
fill me up in all of those areas, but I feel like it would be so
hard to maintain.
Yeah, like, if I look back atmy life, there have been times
where I was like super strong onmy physical health, or I was
super strong on my social lifeor my personal, but I you're
right Like it's hard to maintaina healthy balance for more than
(11:01):
a few of those.
Brennan (11:03):
Yeah, and I want to, and I want to debunk balance too
, because I think, I think, Ithink the way that society talks
about balance is I have to putan equal amount of energy into
every area of my life, and thatis a recipe in itself for
burnout, right?
Because what the standard is isa perfectionism, right?
So it's like, no matter whatseason of life I'm in, I got to
(11:25):
put all this energy into it, andthe way I like to think about
it is more so, like I call it,dynamic prioritization, okay, so
it's like, based off the seasonof life, that you it and the
way I like to think about it ismore so.
Like I call it, dynamicprioritization.
Okay, so it's like based offthe season of life that you're
in right now.
It's like being intentionalabout realistically, we can only
consciously build three areasof our life at once, right.
Anything more than that isreally overwhelming.
(11:46):
So it's not only beingconscious about what areas of
life I want to build based offthe season I'm in, but it's not
only being conscious about whatareas of life I want to build
based off the season I'm in, butit's also what areas of life am
I okay with just maintaining,right, and just kind of keeping
keeping here.
It's like, for example, for me,right now, I'm building my
business right now right.
So I know there's going to be acouple of areas of life I need
(12:07):
to put on the back burner alittle bit.
But the difference betweensomebody who's overwhelmed and
somebody who isn't overwhelmedjust comes from a perceived lack
of control.
So that means if I'm notconsciously putting my you know
kind of leaving these areas onthe back burner, if I feel like
that's happening to me, I feellike it's not my choice, well
(12:30):
then I'm going to feel likethings are out of control and
I'm going to feel overwhelmedbecause that's not my decision.
I feel like the world is, youknow, happening to me right,
whereas if I know what I'mfocusing on right, which
prioritization is a whole nothertopic.
You got to kind of know whatare, what are my values and what
do I actually want in order toprioritize, right.
But if I know those things andI know what I'm building and I'm
(12:53):
really conscious of that, thenI'm gonna feel way less
overwhelmed because now I'm veryclear on hey, this is the
priority and this is not thepriority.
Parker (13:01):
So, like this is my season to focus on building my
business or improving myphysical health, and will
maintain, maybe family andsocial, but it's not gonna to be
what my main priority is.
And because I'm consciouslychoosing to do that, I'm not as
upset about it because it's notlike, oh like I don't get to do
anything I want to do because ofExactly, and now I can
(13:24):
communicate.
Brennan (13:25):
You know, now I can communicate with these people in
my life and these areas tooright.
Like I can, I can advocate forthat for myself.
Like I can, you know, and I canlike not now.
That's also a lot of timeswhere the guilt comes from, is
feeling like, you know, it's outof my control too, so it's like
I feel guilty if I don't knowhow to prioritize right the
(13:45):
areas of my life I need toprioritize properly.
So what happens is there's thisoverwhelming sense of like I'm
not doing enough.
Parker (13:52):
Yeah.
Brennan (13:53):
Right and that that on feeling that a lot of high
achievers feel and just peoplein general too, it's like you
can't turn it off because you'renot being intentional about
where you're, where you'reputting it, you know this is so
fascinating.
Parker (14:08):
Wow, I feel like there were so many good tidbits in
there, like the balance part I'mfascinated by.
I love it.
So you believe that yourmission is to kind of help
prevent burnout?
Am I correct in that?
Brennan (14:26):
I would say it's a little bit yeah.
So I would say from the frontend, I would say burnout
prevention is yes, it's helpingpeople where they don't get to
the point of their burnout,where, like, they have to lose
everything in order to learn howto prioritize their own
personal wellbeing.
I would say, on a deeper level,what I really wanna empower
people to do is I wanna helpthem with really figuring out
(14:48):
who they really are and thenbuilding a life that reflects
that.
So I'm a huge believer that weall have certain desires for a
reason.
Parker (15:00):
Right.
Brennan (15:00):
And I also believe that we're trained depending on our
upbringing or who we're around.
As we get older, I think thatwe're trained in a way to
sometimes abandon those desiresand abandon our own values for
the sake of having to survive,or because we're told by other
people what we want is notsomething we're worthy of, or
(15:21):
it's not realistic, or whatever.
The story is that we learn thelimiting beliefs that we learn.
So what happens is we try toforce ourselves to build a life
and live in a way that's notactually authentic to who we
really are and what we reallywant.
And then I also think that'swhy there's so many people that
are externally successful.
Their life looks good on paper,but they're internally
(15:44):
miserable, and for me, I want tohelp people reconnect with who
am I really and then knowpractically how do I build a
life for myself that reflectsthat.
Parker (15:58):
So it doesn't necessarily mean that your job
has to be a part of your mission.
It just means you have to buildyour life towards that mission,
because there's the seven areas, and it doesn't have to be
career.
Brennan (16:09):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
And so people think aboutpurpose a lot of times as if
it's like what I do, and that'salso what I used to think about
it as, too, because I tied mywhole self worth to like what I
did and how productive I was andhow much I achieved Right.
And the more that I've donethis you know a lot of inner
work with myself and the moreI've helped people with getting
(16:29):
more in touch with who they are.
What I've realized and what Ibelieve is that our purpose is
not what we do, it's who we'rebecoming in the process.
So the thing about success islike.
The only thing that makessuccess sustainable in my
perspective, is fulfillment.
(16:49):
Fulfillment can only come frombecoming the person that we're
meant to be, and success comesfrom what we achieve in the
process process.
So I spent my whole lifechasing success, thinking it was
going to give me fulfillment,not realizing that in order for
(17:15):
me to get fulfillment, I have todo it in a way that I have.
The process of getting to whereI want to go needs to be
fulfilling in itself.
Parker (17:20):
Like.
Brennan (17:20):
I need to be so, I need to be satisfied from actually
doing it, and that's and that'swhere a lot of people when they
say, enjoy the process.
Right, um, life's a journey,not a destination, right?
Practically, what that means is, if you learn what your values
are and you learn how to live inaccordance with those values,
right.
What happens is now you'refulfilled in the process of
(17:44):
becoming, which means that youdon't care as much about needing
to get to this, thisdestination over here.
Like you don't get all of yourdopamine from.
Like oh, I just achieved thisgoal.
Like that's not good enough, Ineed to achieve more.
That's not good enough.
Now you have this steady flowof oh, like I'm living instead
of waiting for the next thing toexternally to make me happy.
Parker (18:07):
Like enjoying the training, not just competition
day or something like that kindof thing.
Exactly, yeah.
Brennan (18:13):
Yeah, and it's hard because we don't live in a
society that, I think, a lot oftimes reinforces that.
You know it's, it's a lot ofdestination based thinking.
Parker (18:23):
I feel like the one piece of advice that I've always
struggled with is wheneversomebody was like, if you do
what you love, you're neverworking a day in your life, and
I feel like for me, I feel likethat's BS.
Brennan (18:33):
It is BS, I agree.
Parker (18:34):
And a lot of times, if you turn something you love into
work, you might lose some ofthe fun of it.
Brennan (18:40):
Yeah.
Parker (18:41):
And so I had somebody recently be like I want you to
feel like impassioned by yourjob and like love it, truly love
it, and I'm like I don't Idon't need that, like there are
other areas of my life that Ifeel like I truly love, and as
long as I feel like I'm workingin my strengths, like there are
(19:01):
definitely things that may notbe my strength, that would be
more of a slog, but as long asI'm working in my strengths, I
don't.
Brennan (19:06):
I don't need my job to be like the thing I just feel
good about it Like yeah, I lovethat perspective and and and
that's.
And it's a lot of pressure,right.
Like the pressure to be like Ihave to get my main source of
fulfillment from my job, likefor a lot of people that may not
be 100% feasible, right.
So it's like and this is, it'sso funny, we're talking about
(19:28):
this, so I do presentations fororganizations too, and the whole
concept of it is like one.
It's like showing people whatis burnout like, what are the
symptoms, what are the rootcauses.
But it's like how do I createfulfillment outside of work so I
can show up better inside ofwork?
Like that's my whole thing.
It's like we're not.
I'm not here to tell you how todo your job better.
(19:50):
I'm here to show you how do youprioritize your own personal
fulfillment, because you have somuch opportunity to do that and
and and.
You're and in your life outsideof work.
Right, you're not burned outbecause of work.
You're burned out becauseyou're doing too little of what
lights you up, period, right.
And it's like if we, if wedon't, if we and so many people,
(20:13):
including me, I'm stillfiguring this out Like people
don't even know what lights themup, because they've never given
themselves the opportunity tofind out, you know.
Parker (20:26):
So I have two follow-up questions from that One.
I mean, you are the coach here,but we're all human.
Do you find yourself slippingback towards burnout from time
to time?
Brennan (20:36):
Absolutely, oh yeah, oh yeah, a hundred percent.
So yeah, I mean recently likeso I'm building a business right
?
So for me, you know, I have oneof the biggest limiting beliefs
that was running my life foryou know, up until recently, was
I have to suffer in order to besuccessful?
Parker (21:00):
Yeah, a lot of people like entrepreneurs probably feel
that way, like I'm going tosacrifice for three years but
it's going to pay off later andthey're like, miserable for
those three years but they'rebuilding.
Brennan (21:08):
Yeah.
And the thing is, once they getthere, it's like, oh, I don't
even know how to enjoy this,right, because the thing about a
belief system is like it's it'srunning in your unconscious.
So, like for me, I have thesestill core store.
Everybody has like three tofive core stories that they've
developed throughout their life,and these core stories either
(21:30):
enable you to be more of who youare or they take you further
away from that.
So it's either it eithercreates belief systems that
amplify your actual values andwho you really are or take you
away from Right, and what Iwould find in my business, for
example, is like and this is howI was kind of creeping towards
burnout as a burnout preventioncoach is like I would find
(21:52):
something that works as far aslike acquiring clients, like
build a system.
It's like, oh, like this is howI consistently get clients.
And then what would happen is,when I would see results from it
, I'd be like, oh, I got to gobigger now.
And then I would likecompletely change the system and
not stay consistent with thething that actually works.
And then, all of a sudden, Ilost all my momentum.
(22:13):
I was making things way morecomplicated for myself than they
had to be, and part of that wasbecause I lived in such a stage
like a really turbulentchildhood to where so
consistency and mundane andboring feels unsafe, right, so I
would create chaos out ofnothing because that felt safer
(22:36):
to me than actually embracingthe slow, consistent actions
that I needed to take everysingle day to build my business.
Parker (22:44):
My therapist told me that two years ago.
I'm having deja vu, hey love it.
Brennan (22:50):
I don't want to create chaos, you know, and I'm like
whatever.
Parker (22:54):
Okay, you said people don't often know what fulfills
them.
What are some kind of thingsthat you would suggest for
people, for them to be able toexplore and figure out what does
fulfill them?
Brennan (23:08):
Yeah, great question.
So one is what did you like todo as a kid, right?
So that's the first thing Ialways tell people.
When we're kids, we knowintuitively, we know how to do
what we're talking about.
When we're kids we don't havean agenda for our life.
When we're kids, we know welike to be present, enjoy the
moment, do things for the sakeof fulfillment, right, like
(23:29):
that's kind of like already anddaily in us, we learn how to be
different than that, right?
So a lot of this process oflearning your own fulfillment is
unlearning the patterns and thebehaviors and the things that
have made you think that that'snot a priority in your life,
right, and that you know, youhear it all the time oh, it's
time to grow up.
(23:51):
We're all just oversizedchildren, right, we're all just
like.
We're all just children thatlike we, you know, like are just
trying to like be an adult andlike we think that we have to
like, essentially like, kill acertain part of our innocence
and joy in order to do that andI don't fundamentally just think
(24:18):
that's true.
It's going to be reallyuncomfortable to start, like
allowing yourself to do thingsjust for the sake of joy,
because your nervous system hasbeen trained to not enjoy those
things.
So giving yourself some graceas you're like, trying out those
things to, is by default.
(24:38):
If you ask yourself what are myfour core values and you spend
a lot of time figuring those outthe areas of your life that
you're practicing your valuesthe most are the areas you feel
the most fulfilled in, whetheryou're conscious of it or not,
and the areas of life you'repracticing in the least are the
ones you feel the most drainedin.
(24:59):
So being consciously aware ofwhat you're, what you value, is
really helpful, because then youcan start intentionally
reinforcing them in differentareas of life.
Parker (25:11):
Would you suggest for like people let's be honest,
like most people feel likethey're so busy they don't have
time to explore.
But would you suggest maybescheduling time, like, okay, on
Saturday for two hours, I'mgoing to do this and that's what
I'm going to do.
Brennan (25:27):
Yeah.
So the thing is, you have tomake it a priority, right.
So so you know there's there'sa reason why we don't give
ourselves time to slow down,right, there's a reason why we
don't give ourselves time toreflect, and and I don't so
procrastination.
I think a lot of times peoplethink that comes from like a
lack of discipline or laziness,but you know where I really
(25:50):
think it comes from Fear.
Parker (25:55):
Okay.
Brennan (25:56):
It's the fear of what happens when I slow down and I
actually have the chance toreflect and I see, I learn and
I've let myself see the factthat maybe the way my life looks
right now is not actually theway I want it to be.
Parker (26:14):
That could probably be uncomfortable, especially after
spending all this time doinggetting yeah.
Brennan (26:19):
Yeah, so it's like I've spent all this time and energy
building this life I thought Iwanted for myself, right.
So me slowing down andreflecting Right Me looking at
that is terrifying because it'sgoing to contradict, right, some
of the things that I have goingfor me right now in my life.
Parker (26:37):
Yeah, like, I feel like that could be like a midlife
crisis there.
Like is that where midlifecrisis comes from?
All of a sudden, reflecting,being like is this what I really
wanted?
Brennan (26:49):
100%.
I had midlife crisis.
I had quarter-life crisis.
I think human beings areamazing at avoiding the things
that they need to avoid, right,or they.
You know.
They're really good atdistracting, especially in our
society.
Now it's like there's so manydifferent ways you can distract
(27:10):
yourself.
Parker (27:11):
Productive procrastination in a way.
Brennan (27:14):
Yeah, yeah, it's like people are mistaking motion for
progress.
They think they think those arethe same thing, right.
And the crazy part about this,the most important thing that
I've realized for peoplelistening, what you avoid
controls you.
Parker (27:30):
Wow.
Brennan (27:31):
So that means what happens when you don't face what
you actually want, when youdon't allow yourself to see it.
It will control you and youwill get to a point where you're
forced to face it.
Parker (27:47):
Brennan, you may call yourself a preventative burnout
coach, but I feel like you're alittle bit of a therapist too.
Brennan (27:55):
I hear that a lot.
Thank you, wow, okay.
Parker (28:01):
So if you kind of could give people some generic kind of
one sentence advice they shoulddo to try and prevent burnout
or address burnout, what wouldthat be?
Brennan (28:17):
Step one is I want you to, for one day this is probably
the most powerful thing you cando to start really putting
practical evidence to suggestwhat we're talking about so, for
one day, I want you to make anenergy audit list, which means
that I want you to pay attention, just for one day, pay
attention to after you dosomething, after you talk to
(28:40):
somebody do you feel more tiredor do you feel less tired?
Right, do you feel more and doyou feel, did you, did you get
energy from doing this thing ordid you get less energy from
doing this thing?
And I want you to write down,just go throughout the day and,
and, and and kind of take noteof that.
Don't judge yourself for it.
(29:00):
Just just do an energy auditand see, like, how many things
am I doing daily that drain meversus how many things am I
doing that energize me.
And if you allow yourself to dothat, if you're experiencing
burnout symptoms which, from myperspective, I definitely more
on the emotional and like mentalside of burnout right, I would
(29:21):
say the energetic side, chronicexhaustion, constantly
procrastinating and feelingoverwhelmed If you're
experiencing those things andyou do that list, I guarantee
that the ratio of things thatyou're doing that drain you on a
daily basis is a lot higherthan the things that you're
(29:41):
doing that energize you.
And then what's one thing youcan do to prioritize more of the
thing that you figured out thatenergizes you.
So how do I make that more of apriority in my life, whether
that's scheduling it, that'smaking it a habit, it's you know
.
How do I schedule more time formyself to be able to do more of
(30:02):
that thing?
Parker (30:03):
I love that.
And if you could go back andtalk to yourself when you were
like, struggling, like when youwere at the height of your
taking stimulants and juststruggling to exist, like what
would you tell yourself at thetime?
Brennan (30:29):
I would tell that version of myself that you
deserve to live the life that'smeant for you.
Parker (30:38):
That's really lovely, yeah, um, and I think, if I'm
thinking about it, like peopletalk about, like people on their
deathbed, their regrets areusually like not the things that
they did, but the things thatthey didn't do, and I think
that's always been my fear isnot feeling like I've lived life
(30:58):
while living.
I love that your advice is totry and do those things that
that kind of fulfill you,because I imagine by following
that, it would help preventfeeling that way near the end of
your life.
Brennan (31:21):
Absolutely yeah, and it's.
I think so many people havethat fear and can relate to that
.
And the thing is is you knowwhen I was at my lowest point
and I'll be really transparentand vulnerable for the audience
you know, there was a time whereI didn't want to be here
anymore and before I followedthrough with that, I literally
my turning point was I heard avoice in my head that said do
not end your life before youknow what it's like to really
(31:42):
live it, really live it.
And that's when I realized thatthere's a huge difference
between existing and living, andthe difference is are you doing
the things that you actuallywant to do or are you trying to
live a life that isn't yours andit just takes?
(32:05):
Do the work now, listen to yourheart and don't wait 30 years
down the road where you're 70years old and you realize that
your entire life has been basedoff of what other people want
for you, not what you want foryou.
Parker (32:21):
Yeah, wow, thank you.
Um yeah, thank you so much.
Thanks for joining me you'rewelcome.
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