September 27, 2024 • 12 mins
50 Journal Prompts for Those Looking to Improve Communication Skills
Ever wish you had a cheat sheet for better communication in your relationships? Explore the transformative power of self-reflection and journaling to enhance your communication skills. In this episode, we dive into Clara Penrose's insightful blog post, "50 Journal Prompts to Improve Your Communication Skills in Relationships," and uncover how targeted journaling can help you pinpoint personal communication habits and styles. By understanding oneself, you can foster empathy and connect more deeply with others. Learn to manage emotional triggers for more effective interactions and discover the importance of genuinely listening and stepping into others' shoes.
Navigate the complexities of conflict resolution with Clara's collaborative approach to disagreements. Express your needs clearly and respectfully while remaining open to your partner's perspective, turning conflict into an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. Reflecting on arguments through journaling helps identify underlying issues and unmet needs, promoting greater self-awareness and a growth mindset. Tune in for practical tips and insights that can transform your communication skills and build more fulfilling relationships. Join us as we explore how small shifts in your communication approach can create deeper, more meaningful connections.
LeStallion offers premium PU leather journal notebooks for writing, dedicated to all those who are pursuing their dreams and goals, or nurturing their personal development and mental health.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ever wish you had like a cheat sheet for better
communication, especially inyour relationships.
Oh yeah, Well, today's deepdive is going to unlock that.
We're ditching those generictips and we're diving deep into
some seriously insightfulself-reflection.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
And to do that we are using Clara Penrose's blog post
called 50 Journal Prompts toImprove your Communication
Skills in Relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I like this approach already.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Because you know it uses targeted journaling to
pinpoint your strengths and yourweaknesses.
Exactly it's like holding up amirror to your communication
habits.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I love that.
It's like before you can eventhink about clicking with other
people.
You have to understand, like,how you pick the conversations
right.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, and that's what's your, where these journal
prompts become so powerful.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Because they're not just questions right.
They're thought startersdesigned to uncover those aha
moments.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
So, for example, she asks you to visualize a recent
conversation that you had.
Okay, and analyze how youshowed up in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh, how interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Were you eager to share Uh-huh, or were you more
kind of like a fly on the wall?
Yeah, yeah, soaking it all in.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
That's a really good point.
Yeah, because I think it's easyto skip over that
self-reflection part Totally.
We just want to jump right to.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, what they say, what do they say?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Instead of how did I respond?
Right when you really thinkabout it.
Understanding your like defaultmode in conversations is huge.
It's huge.
It's a game changer.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
And here's where I think it gets really interesting
.
Okay, okay.
So recognizing your owncommunication style isn't just
about you, okay, it's a directpath to greater empathy.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Wow For others.
Tell me more about that, thatconnection.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Okay, so think about it this way.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
If you know you tend to be super direct, it can help
you understand that someonewho's more hesitant might just
process things differently, notthat they're being evasive.
It's about appreciating thedance, not just focusing on your
own steps.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's such a good point, because it's like we
assume everyone communicates thesame way we do, and that's just
a recipe for disasterMisunderstanding.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, misunderstanding, for sure, it's
less about changing who you areOkay, and more about adapting
your style.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
For stronger connections.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Becoming more mindful .
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Of the other person's communication language.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Speaking of things that can like make or break a
conversation, oh yeah.
Clara does not shy away fromthe impact of emotions.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
No, she does not.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
On communication at all, does she?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Not at all.
In fact, she dedicates a wholesection to it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
What's interesting?
Is what's her take how sheframes emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
When it comes to communication, okay, she says
it's not just aboutunderstanding other people's
emotions, it's about mastering.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Your own, your own, which, let's be honest, yes, can
sometimes feel like the hardertask absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
We've all been in those conversations oh yeah
where emotions run high andsuddenly logic just flies out
the window.
It's gone, it's out clara usesjournal prompts yeah to dig into
the root of those reactions.
Okay, prompting you to ask whattriggers right, those intense
emotional responses for you?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
and more importantly, yeah how can understanding
those triggers lead to bettercommunication?
Exactly so you got to knowyourself first right before you
can even begin to understand,like what's going on in a
conversation it's like that oldsaying know thyself.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
it takes on a whole new meaning when we're talking
about communication.
Right, because if you canpinpoint what sets you off.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You can start to navigate those emotional
landmines so much moreeffectively.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, so you're saying, if I can figure out what
my triggers are, then I cansort of like Exactly.
Get ready for them.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Precisely, and it's about recognizing okay, exactly,
get cruddy for them.
Precisely, and it's aboutrecognizing.
Ok yeah, this is a pattern forme OK.
When I feel unheard, yeah, Itend to shut down Right.
Or when I feel pressured, I getreally direct, interesting,
maybe even blunt.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And that self-awareness is gold.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
It's like having that pause button.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yes, right.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right Like, instead of just immediately reacting.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Just like you can say take a breath.
Yeah, I need a minute toprocess this.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Which I think brings us to another one of Clara's
really great points.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What's that the importance of empathy in
conversations Empathy we hearthat word a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
We do.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
But Clara breaks it down in a way yeah, it makes you
reexamine how you're showing upin conversations.
Okay, yeah, it makes youreexamine how you're showing up
in conversations.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, and she doesn't let us off easy.
No, with the whole like activelistening.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
She does not.
She's like I know you've heardit a million times, but are you
doing it?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, it's like we all know about it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
But we're still struggling with it.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Exactly, and what's brilliant.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
You know, she doesn't just say listen more.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
She challenges us with the questions like am I
truly understanding theirfeelings or am I just projecting
my own experiences onto theirstory?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Ooh, that one.
Yeah, that one hit home for me?
Yeah, because I've been there.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's so easy to fall into that trap.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Totally.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
We want to relate.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
We want to offer solutions based on what's worked
for us.
We want to relate.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah, we want to offer solutions based on what's
worked for us Right, exactly,but true empathy.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah Is about putting aside our own baggage.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Okay, really stepping into the other person's shoes.
So what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
is sometimes yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
The most empathetic thing we can do, yeah, is to not
try to fix it.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Sometimes Right Sometimes the most empathetic
response is that sounds reallytough.
I'm here for you.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, just to be there Exactly, be present.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's about validating their experience Right, not
minimizing it.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Not hijacking the conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Gotcha.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Just validating how they feel.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Okay, so you're validating.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
And that sense of validation is super important
for healthy communication.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Exactly, and it all kind of ties back to this idea
of boundaries.
Oh, boundaries, okay, let'stalk about that.
Yeah, because boundaries?
Are like the unsung heroes ofhealthy relationships.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I think Claire does a fantastic job of reframing how
we think about them, because weoften think about boundaries as
being rigid or controlling.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Right, it's like a wall.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Right, but really she emphasizes that boundaries are
about self-respect and clarity.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Which ultimately benefits both people in the
relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
So if I'm being clear about my boundaries, it
actually helps the other persontoo.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Exactly, that's a good point.
It's like a gift.
Oh, I like that when you'reclear about your needs and
limits.
It allows the other person toshow up more authentically.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I like that.
It allows them to show upauthentically because they know
what to expect.
Exactly it's a really goodpoint.
So how do we figure out whatthose boundaries are?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, she provides some really practical advice.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Like what.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Like she'll ask you to think back to a time, okay,
when you felt uncomfortable in arelationship.
What boundary was crossed andhow did you handle it?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh, that's good, so like a post game.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yes, exactly Like a reflection.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, yeah, what happened?
And I think sometimes it's easyto brush things off in the
moment, but when we take thetime to analyze we can see the
patterns, those recurringsituations where yeah, where you
felt maybe unheard.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yes or disrespected Exactly, and it helps you
pinpoint those non-negotiables.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Those are the things that are those are things that
you're like.
Deal breakers.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
This is what I absolutely need to thrive in any
relationship.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
And once we're clear about those boundaries, we have
to communicate them.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Absolutely, and communicating them effectively
is essential.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
But that can be so hard.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It can be.
It can be really intimidating.
This is hard, especially ifyou're not used to asserting
yourself Right or if you'reworried about creating conflict.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, you don't want to rock the boat.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Exactly, but here's the thing.
What's that?
Avoiding conflict bysuppressing your needs is like
building a house on a shakyfoundation.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It might seem okay on the surface, but eventually
it's going to crumble.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh, no, yeah, Okay, so we can't just avoid conflict
by not setting boundaries?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So how does Claire suggest we actually have these
like?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Sometimes really difficult conversations Right
About boundaries.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Because sometimes setting boundaries can feel
awkward.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Especially like at the beginning of a relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Especially then.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Or like with somebody you've never had to set
boundaries with before.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So how do we actually have those conversations?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Without it turning into a huge fight.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Well, I think Clara encourages approaching these
conversations with a spirit ofcollaboration.
Okay, not confrontation.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
It's not about like issuing ultimatums.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
It's about expressing your needs clearly,
respectfully and being open tohearing your partner's
perspective too.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
So it's less about like you you're doing this wrong
, right and more about like.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
How can we both feel respected and heard?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I like that, yeah, okay, so we're setting
boundaries, we're trying tocommunicate effectively, right?
This can be really powerful.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Especially when it comes to navigating conflict.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Which, let's be honest, no matter how in sync
you are with somebody, right,disagreements are going to
happen.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, conflict is unavoidable in any relationship.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
So we shouldn't be afraid of it.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, yeah, and Clara doesn't shy away from that Right
.
In fact she kind of encouragesus to like.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Reframe how we view conflict altogether.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So instead of viewing it as like a relationship
killer, right, we should be likeoh, this is an opportunity,
exactly Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
She challenges us to see conflict as a chance for
growth.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And deeper connection .
I like that, which I think isreally refreshing.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So how does journaling come into play when
we're talking about conflict?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Well, this is where her prompts are really good.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
So she wants you to reflect after an argument.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
And ask yourself some questions Like what was I
really upset about?
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Was it really about the dishes?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Or was there something deeper going on?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
That's a really good point, because sometimes I know
that I get more upset aboutsomething.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Absolutely Than I, should it happens.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And it's like what's really going on here?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
It's often a clue that some need is not being met.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Maybe you need to feel validated Right.
Maybe you need to feelappreciated.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Maybe you just need to feel heard, yeah, and so by
identifying that root cause, wecan communicate our needs more
effectively and hopefully worktowards a resolution that makes
both people feel good.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
And she doesn't just focus on the other person's role
in the conflict either.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
No, she does not she talks about taking ownership.
Absolutely For our own part,yeah, and asking yourself what
was my part in this?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Oof.
That's hard it is.
It's so easy to blame the otherperson.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It is.
It's so easy to get caught upin the blame game, yeah, but
taking responsibility for ourown reactions is key to
resolving that conflict.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And to like moving forward in a more constructive
way.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And it's not about beating yourself up or dwelling
on your mistakes.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
It's about approaching the situation with a
growth mindset.
Yeah, you know learning from it.
Okay and moving forward withgreater self-awareness.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I love this entire deep dive yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It's been amazing.
It's so good.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
We've gotten to talk about, like these really simple
journal prompts.
Right and how they can reallyunlock some deep insights into
how we communicate.
It just goes to show thatsometimes the most powerful
conversations we have, yeah, arethe ones we have with ourselves
I love that, yeah, and evenjust like these small shifts in
how we communicate yeah can makesuch a big difference in our
(12:03):
relationships.
So to our listeners out thereyes if you are ready to to
unlock some deeper connectionsand build more fulfilling
relationships.
I really encourage you toexplore Clara's prompts.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Check them out.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
You might be really surprised by what you learn.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Absolutely.
And remember communication is ajourney, not a destination.
Be patient with yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Embrace that learning process.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And celebrate those aha moments along the way.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Those aha moments, yeah.
Ever wish you had like a cheat sheet for better
communication, especially inyour relationships.
Oh yeah, Well, today's deepdive is going to unlock that.
We're ditching those generictips and we're diving deep into
some seriously insightfulself-reflection.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
And to do that we are using Clara Penrose's blog post
called 50 Journal Prompts toImprove your Communication
Skills in Relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I like this approach already.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Because you know it uses targeted journaling to
pinpoint your strengths and yourweaknesses.
Exactly it's like holding up amirror to your communication
habits.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I love that.
It's like before you can eventhink about clicking with other
people.
You have to understand, like,how you pick the conversations
right.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, and that's what's your, where these journal
prompts become so powerful.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Because they're not just questions right.
They're thought startersdesigned to uncover those aha
moments.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
So, for example, she asks you to visualize a recent
conversation that you had.
Okay, and analyze how youshowed up in that conversation.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh, how interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Were you eager to share Uh-huh, or were you more
kind of like a fly on the wall?
Yeah, yeah, soaking it all in.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
That's a really good point.
Yeah, because I think it's easyto skip over that
self-reflection part Totally.
We just want to jump right to.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, what they say, what do they say?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Instead of how did I respond?
Right when you really thinkabout it.
Understanding your like defaultmode in conversations is huge.
It's huge.
It's a game changer.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
And here's where I think it gets really interesting
.
Okay, okay.
So recognizing your owncommunication style isn't just
about you, okay, it's a directpath to greater empathy.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Wow For others.
Tell me more about that, thatconnection.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Okay, so think about it this way.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
If you know you tend to be super direct, it can help
you understand that someonewho's more hesitant might just
process things differently, notthat they're being evasive.
It's about appreciating thedance, not just focusing on your
own steps.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's such a good point, because it's like we
assume everyone communicates thesame way we do, and that's just
a recipe for disasterMisunderstanding.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yeah, misunderstanding, for sure, it's
less about changing who you areOkay, and more about adapting
your style.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
For stronger connections.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Becoming more mindful .
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Of the other person's communication language.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Speaking of things that can like make or break a
conversation, oh yeah.
Clara does not shy away fromthe impact of emotions.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
No, she does not.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
On communication at all, does she?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Not at all.
In fact, she dedicates a wholesection to it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
What's interesting?
Is what's her take how sheframes emotional intelligence.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
When it comes to communication, okay, she says
it's not just aboutunderstanding other people's
emotions, it's about mastering.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Your own, your own, which, let's be honest, yes, can
sometimes feel like the hardertask absolutely right.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
We've all been in those conversations oh yeah
where emotions run high andsuddenly logic just flies out
the window.
It's gone, it's out clara usesjournal prompts yeah to dig into
the root of those reactions.
Okay, prompting you to ask whattriggers right, those intense
emotional responses for you?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
and more importantly, yeah how can understanding
those triggers lead to bettercommunication?
Exactly so you got to knowyourself first right before you
can even begin to understand,like what's going on in a
conversation it's like that oldsaying know thyself.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
it takes on a whole new meaning when we're talking
about communication.
Right, because if you canpinpoint what sets you off.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
You can start to navigate those emotional
landmines so much moreeffectively.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, so you're saying, if I can figure out what
my triggers are, then I cansort of like Exactly.
Get ready for them.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Precisely, and it's about recognizing okay, exactly,
get cruddy for them.
Precisely, and it's aboutrecognizing.
Ok yeah, this is a pattern forme OK.
When I feel unheard, yeah, Itend to shut down Right.
Or when I feel pressured, I getreally direct, interesting,
maybe even blunt.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And that self-awareness is gold.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
It's like having that pause button.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yes, right.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Right Like, instead of just immediately reacting.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Just like you can say take a breath.
Yeah, I need a minute toprocess this.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Which I think brings us to another one of Clara's
really great points.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
What's that the importance of empathy in
conversations Empathy we hearthat word a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
We do.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
But Clara breaks it down in a way yeah, it makes you
reexamine how you're showing upin conversations.
Okay, yeah, it makes youreexamine how you're showing up
in conversations.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yeah, and she doesn't let us off easy.
No, with the whole like activelistening.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
She does not.
She's like I know you've heardit a million times, but are you
doing it?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, it's like we all know about it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
But we're still struggling with it.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Exactly, and what's brilliant.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
You know, she doesn't just say listen more.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
She challenges us with the questions like am I
truly understanding theirfeelings or am I just projecting
my own experiences onto theirstory?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Ooh, that one.
Yeah, that one hit home for me?
Yeah, because I've been there.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's so easy to fall into that trap.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Totally.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
We want to relate.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
We want to offer solutions based on what's worked
for us.
We want to relate.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Yeah, we want to offer solutions based on what's
worked for us Right, exactly,but true empathy.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Yeah Is about putting aside our own baggage.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Okay, really stepping into the other person's shoes.
So what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
is sometimes yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
The most empathetic thing we can do, yeah, is to not
try to fix it.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Sometimes Right Sometimes the most empathetic
response is that sounds reallytough.
I'm here for you.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, just to be there Exactly, be present.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's about validating their experience Right, not
minimizing it.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Not hijacking the conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Gotcha.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Just validating how they feel.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Okay, so you're validating.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
And that sense of validation is super important
for healthy communication.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Exactly, and it all kind of ties back to this idea
of boundaries.
Oh, boundaries, okay, let'stalk about that.
Yeah, because boundaries?
Are like the unsung heroes ofhealthy relationships.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I think Claire does a fantastic job of reframing how
we think about them, because weoften think about boundaries as
being rigid or controlling.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Right, it's like a wall.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Right, but really she emphasizes that boundaries are
about self-respect and clarity.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Which ultimately benefits both people in the
relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
So if I'm being clear about my boundaries, it
actually helps the other persontoo.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Exactly, that's a good point.
It's like a gift.
Oh, I like that when you'reclear about your needs and
limits.
It allows the other person toshow up more authentically.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I like that.
It allows them to show upauthentically because they know
what to expect.
Exactly it's a really goodpoint.
So how do we figure out whatthose boundaries are?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Well, she provides some really practical advice.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Like what.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Like she'll ask you to think back to a time, okay,
when you felt uncomfortable in arelationship.
What boundary was crossed andhow did you handle it?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh, that's good, so like a post game.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yes, exactly Like a reflection.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, yeah, what happened?
And I think sometimes it's easyto brush things off in the
moment, but when we take thetime to analyze we can see the
patterns, those recurringsituations where yeah, where you
felt maybe unheard.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yes or disrespected Exactly, and it helps you
pinpoint those non-negotiables.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Those are the things that are those are things that
you're like.
Deal breakers.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
This is what I absolutely need to thrive in any
relationship.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
And once we're clear about those boundaries, we have
to communicate them.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Absolutely, and communicating them effectively
is essential.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
But that can be so hard.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It can be.
It can be really intimidating.
This is hard, especially ifyou're not used to asserting
yourself Right or if you'reworried about creating conflict.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, you don't want to rock the boat.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Exactly, but here's the thing.
What's that?
Avoiding conflict bysuppressing your needs is like
building a house on a shakyfoundation.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Ooh, I like that.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It might seem okay on the surface, but eventually
it's going to crumble.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Oh, no, yeah, Okay, so we can't just avoid conflict
by not setting boundaries?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So how does Claire suggest we actually have these
like?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Sometimes really difficult conversations Right
About boundaries.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Because sometimes setting boundaries can feel
awkward.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Especially like at the beginning of a relationship.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Especially then.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Or like with somebody you've never had to set
boundaries with before.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So how do we actually have those conversations?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Without it turning into a huge fight.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Well, I think Clara encourages approaching these
conversations with a spirit ofcollaboration.
Okay, not confrontation.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
It's not about like issuing ultimatums.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
It's about expressing your needs clearly,
respectfully and being open tohearing your partner's
perspective too.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
So it's less about like you you're doing this wrong
, right and more about like.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
How can we both feel respected and heard?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I like that, yeah, okay, so we're setting
boundaries, we're trying tocommunicate effectively, right?
This can be really powerful.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Especially when it comes to navigating conflict.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Which, let's be honest, no matter how in sync
you are with somebody, right,disagreements are going to
happen.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, conflict is unavoidable in any relationship.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
So we shouldn't be afraid of it.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, yeah, and Clara doesn't shy away from that Right
.
In fact she kind of encouragesus to like.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Reframe how we view conflict altogether.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So instead of viewing it as like a relationship
killer, right, we should be likeoh, this is an opportunity,
exactly Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
She challenges us to see conflict as a chance for
growth.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And deeper connection .
I like that, which I think isreally refreshing.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So how does journaling come into play when
we're talking about conflict?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Well, this is where her prompts are really good.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
So she wants you to reflect after an argument.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
And ask yourself some questions Like what was I
really upset about?
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Was it really about the dishes?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Or was there something deeper going on?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
That's a really good point, because sometimes I know
that I get more upset aboutsomething.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Absolutely Than I, should it happens.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And it's like what's really going on here?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
It's often a clue that some need is not being met.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Maybe you need to feel validated Right.
Maybe you need to feelappreciated.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Maybe you just need to feel heard, yeah, and so by
identifying that root cause, wecan communicate our needs more
effectively and hopefully worktowards a resolution that makes
both people feel good.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
And she doesn't just focus on the other person's role
in the conflict either.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
No, she does not she talks about taking ownership.
Absolutely For our own part,yeah, and asking yourself what
was my part in this?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Oof.
That's hard it is.
It's so easy to blame the otherperson.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It is.
It's so easy to get caught upin the blame game, yeah, but
taking responsibility for ourown reactions is key to
resolving that conflict.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And to like moving forward in a more constructive
way.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
And it's not about beating yourself up or dwelling
on your mistakes.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
It's about approaching the situation with a
growth mindset.
Yeah, you know learning from it.
Okay and moving forward withgreater self-awareness.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I love this entire deep dive yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It's been amazing.
It's so good.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
We've gotten to talk about, like these really simple
journal prompts.
Right and how they can reallyunlock some deep insights into
how we communicate.
It just goes to show thatsometimes the most powerful
conversations we have, yeah, arethe ones we have with ourselves
I love that, yeah, and evenjust like these small shifts in
how we communicate yeah can makesuch a big difference in our
(12:03):
relationships.
So to our listeners out thereyes if you are ready to to
unlock some deeper connectionsand build more fulfilling
relationships.
I really encourage you toexplore Clara's prompts.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Check them out.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
You might be really surprised by what you learn.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Absolutely.
And remember communication is ajourney, not a destination.
Be patient with yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Embrace that learning process.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And celebrate those aha moments along the way.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Those aha moments, yeah.
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