December 20, 2024 • 16 mins
50 Relationship Journal Prompts
What if embracing your darker side could unlock a more authentic and empowered version of yourself? Join us as we unravel the concept of shadow work, inspired by Carl Jung’s idea of the shadow self, and explore how journaling can lead to profound self-discovery. With guidance from Clara Penrose’s 50 Shadow Journal prompts, we navigate through hidden fears and insecurities, revealing how these shadow aspects shape our emotions and behaviors. Discover a transformative approach that goes beyond traditional positivity and leads to embracing your whole self, imperfections and all.
This episode is a journey into understanding how unresolved relationships and emotional triggers impact our present lives. We discuss the importance of closure and recognizing the space between a trigger and our response to cultivate mindful reactions. By exploring the diverse facets of our personalities that emerge during conflict, we uncover how our so-called negative qualities can contribute positively to our growth. We leave you with a challenge: consider the small rituals or practices you can incorporate to honor your journey toward authenticity and self-compassion.
LeStallion offers premium PU leather journal notebooks for writing, dedicated to all those who are pursuing their dreams and goals, or nurturing their personal development and mental health.
For More Info on LeStallion, check out:
https://lestallion.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back everyone to another deep dive.
We are diving into something Ithink is pretty fascinating
today.
Have you heard of shadow work?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh, absolutely.
Shadow work is becoming quitepopular, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, and it's a lot different than what we usually
think of.
With journaling, usually it'sall about like gratitude and
good vibes.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Right, focusing on the positive.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
But shadow work is kind of the opposite.
It's about looking at those,you know, parts of ourselves
that we tend to hide, maybethose insecurities or fears, or
even just like behaviors that wedon't love.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's really about acknowledging the full spectrum
of who we are the light and theshadow.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Exactly, and today we're using an awesome resource
to guide us.
It's Clara Penrose's 50 ShadowJournal prompts from her blog
Lestallion.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh, I've heard good things about her blog.
I'm excited to dive into theseprompts Me too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
And what's so cool is how she's categorized them.
It's not just a random list offears or anything.
She dives into how those pastwounds impact us and how we
react when things get tough, andeven prompts about embracing
our so-called negative qualities.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
It's like a roadmap for self-discovery, guiding us
through different layers of ourinner world.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Totally Like.
I was just glancing through andsome of these really jumped out
at me like a fear that holdsyou back in life and a painful
memory from your past that youhaven't fully processed.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Whoa.
Those are powerful.
And then there are ones thatare more about taking action,
like a time when you acted outof anger what triggered you and
how could you responddifferently next time.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oof, yeah, that one hits home.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Right, it's about becoming more aware of those
patterns and making consciouschoices, and this all ties back
to Carl Jung's concept of theshadow self, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Fill me in Remind me.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
So Jung believed that everyone has this shadow side.
It's like a hidden part of ourpersonality where we store all
those thoughts, emotions andimpulses that we deem
unacceptable or negative, andhis idea was that by bringing
these aspects into our consciousawareness, we can actually
integrate them into a more wholeand authentic self okay.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
So it's not about like getting rid of those parts
of ourselves, but more aboutunderstanding them exactly.
It's not about like getting ridof those parts of ourselves,
but more about understandingthem Exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's about befriending your shadow, not
battling it.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I like that.
So let's jump into thoseprompts, shall we?
Let's do it, okay.
So Claire's first category isall about exploring inner fears
and insecurities, and one promptthat I thought was really
interesting was think about asituation where you felt intense
insecurity.
What triggered those feelingsand how do they still impact you
(02:29):
?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
That's a great starting point, because it
invites us to really examinethose moments when we feel most
vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right, it's like we all have those moments.
It's like when you walk into aroom and suddenly you feel like
everyone's judging you, even ifyou know, logically, there's no
reason for them to be.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Absolutely.
That fear of judgment is acommon thread that runs through
many of our insecurities.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
It makes me wonder is that just part of being human?
Like, is that fear of judgmentjust kind of hardwired into us?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It definitely seems to be a universal experience.
It goes back to our deep-seatedneed for belonging and
connection.
When we perceive any threat tothat, our insecurities tend to
flare up.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That makes sense.
So this prompt is about tracingthose insecurities back to
their source.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Exactly, it's about understanding the roots of those
feelings so that we can startto work with them constructively
.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay.
So instead of just feelinginsecure, we're encouraged to
investigate why we feel that way.
It's like detective work forour emotions.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I like that analogy.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
There's another prompt in this section that
stood out to me.
Describe a way you might beholding yourself back from
happiness.
What fears or insecurities keepyou from moving forward?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Whoa Ooh, that's a powerful one.
It goes right to the heart ofself-sabotage, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah, I mean, we all do it in different ways, right?
We stay in jobs that make usmiserable or we avoid going
after our dreams, or maybe wepush away people who care about
us.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It's like we have this internal break system that
kicks in whenever we get tooclose to what we truly desire.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
It's like those times when a great opportunity comes
along and, instead of beingexcited, you feel this like wave
of fear or doubt and you freezeup.
I've been there.
Do you think exploring thisprompt can actually help us,
like break free from thosepatterns?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I think it's a crucial step.
By bringing those fears andinsecurities into our conscious
awareness, we can start tochallenge their validity.
We can ask ourselves are thesefears based on real evidence or
are they echoes of pastexperiences that no longer hold
true?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Right.
So it's about gaining thatawareness so we can make
different choices.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Exactly.
The more we understand thosepatterns, the more empowered we
become to choose differently.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
This is already making me think about all those
what if?
Scenarios that I let hold meback sometimes.
Maybe facing those fears headon is the key to actually moving
forward.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I think there's a lot of truth to that.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Okay now Clara's next category is uncovering past
wounds and memories, and I wouldsay this one feels a bit
heavier, but I get the sensethat it's just as important.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
It is.
It's about acknowledging howour past experiences,
particularly those that werepainful or traumatic, can shape
our perceptions and behaviors inthe present.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Right, like we can't just pretend that those
experiences didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Exactly, and one prompt that really resonated
with me in this section wasright about a time when you felt
betrayed by someone you trusted.
How did it impact your view ofrelationships?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oof, that's a tough one, but it's so relatable, I
mean.
I think we've all experiencedbetrayal in some form or another
.
It's a universal one, but it'sso relatable, I mean.
I think we've all experiencedbetrayal in some form or another
.
It's a universal experience,unfortunately, and those wounds
can run so deep, you know it canmake you question everything
and everyone, especially yourability to trust.
So I wonder can journalingabout those experiences actually
(05:40):
help heal those wounds?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I believe it can be a powerful step in the healing
process when we avoid thosepainful memories.
They often linger in oursubconscious, influencing our
thoughts and actions, without useven realizing it.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's like they're festering under the surface.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Exactly, but by writing about them in a safe and
controlled environment, we canstart to process those emotions
and begin to make sense of whathappened.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
So it's like bringing those buried emotions to the
surface, where we can finallydeal.
There's another prompt herethat I think ties into that.
Think of a relationship thatended in a way that left you
feeling unresolved.
How does this unfinishedchapter affect you?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Hmm, that speaks to the power of closure, doesn't it
?
Or rather the lack thereof.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Right, it's like when a relationship ends abruptly or
without a sense of resolution,it can leave you feeling kind of
stuck, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's like a song that ends on a dissonant chord.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, you keep replaying those scenarios in
your head, wondering what mighthave been or what you could have
done differently.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, we might even carry that unfinished business
with us into new relationshipswithout realizing it.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Like, without even realizing it, we might be
seeking closure in all the wrongplaces.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Precisely this prompt invites us to examine how those
unresolved endings might stillbe influencing our present
relationships.
Are we guarding ourselvesagainst potential hurt because
of past pain?
Are we unconsciously seekingsomething that we didn't get in
the past?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Wow, okay, this is already getting pretty deep.
It's making me realize howinterconnected our past and
present really are.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
That's the power of shadow work.
It helps us connect the dots,understand our patterns and
ultimately create a moreconscious and fulfilling life.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I'm already feeling those dots connecting.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Ready to explore some more of these prompts, oh
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
These first two categories have already given me
so much to think about.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Okay, so moving on, let's dive into a category that
I think has some reallypractical tools for navigating
like everyday life.
It's recognizing triggers andreactions.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Ooh, that sounds interesting.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, and there's a prompt here by Clara that I find
super insightful.
It is describe a situationwhere you reacted strongly to
something.
What was the trigger and why doyou think it affected you so
deeply?
Oh yeah, that one's good.
It's for those times when youlike, completely overre strongly
to something.
What?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
was the trigger and why do you think it affected you
so deeply?
Oh yeah, that one's good.
It's for those times when youlike completely overreact to
something small and then lateryou're like why did I do that?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Exactly, we all have these triggers.
You know specific words,actions or even just situations
that can evoke this like hugeemotional response, and often
these triggers are linked topast experiences or, you know,
maybe unresolved stuff that wehaven't fully dealt with.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Right, right.
It's like a hidden landmine youthink you're doing OK and then
boom, something sets you off andyou just explode.
But what if we could I don'tknow identify those landmines
Like?
Maybe then we could avoid them.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I think that's the whole point.
By becoming aware of ourtriggers, we can start to
understand the real reasonsbehind our reactions.
We can start to see thedifference between what's
actually happening in thepresent moment and what's being
like dredged up from the past.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So it's about creating that space between the
trigger and the reaction Right,so we can choose how we respond
instead of just reactingautomatically.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Exactly.
Instead of just reacting, wecan pause, we can observe what's
happening.
Then we decide how we want torespond.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Okay, so how do we do that?
Like, where do we even begin?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Well, one way is to start paying attention to those
moments when you feel that surgeof emotion.
Ask yourself what just happened?
What thoughts or feelings arecoming up for me right now?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That makes sense.
Yeah, and there's anotherprompt in this section that I
think really dives into thiswhole trigger reaction dynamic.
It's describe an aspect of yourpersonality that comes out
during conflict.
How do you feel about this sideof yourself?
Ooh yeah, this is a good one.
It makes me think about how weall have different I don't know
versions of ourselves that comeout in different situations.
(09:30):
Like different masks we wearTotally out in different
situations, like different maskswe wear totally, for instance,
I'm usually pretty easy going,but when conflict arises, oh man
, I can get super assertive,almost argumentative, and it's
not always my best look thisprompt challenges us to
acknowledge those you know maybeless than ideal sides of
ourselves that show up whenwe're under stress like those
(09:51):
shadow sides right, but it's notabout judging them.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
it's about them Like what needs or fears are driving
those reactions.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
This makes me realize that conflict can actually be a
powerful mirror.
It shows us parts of ourselvesthat we might otherwise keep
hidden, even from ourselves.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
That's a great point, and once we've acknowledged
those sides of ourselves, we canactually start to work with
them in a more constructive way.
Maybe we can find healthierways to express our needs or to
deal with anger, or maybe wediscover that some of those
qualities, when channeled in theright way, can actually be
strengths.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Oh, that's interesting.
So, like my, assertiveness inconflict, while not always
pretty, can also be a way ofsetting boundaries and standing
up for myself.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Exactly, it's about finding that balance.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Okay, this is blowing my mind a little bit.
So now we get to Claire's nextcategory, embracing the shadow
self, and this feels like atotal shift in perspective.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It is.
This is where we move from justacknowledging our shadow to
actually embracing it.
It's about realizing that allparts of ourselves, even the
ones we judge as negative or bad, have a role to play in our
wholeness.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I love that we're so conditioned to strive for
perfection, to eliminate ourflaws.
But what if those so-calledflaws are actually part of what
makes us well us?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
And you know one prompt that really challenges
that whole perfection idea isreflect on a quality in yourself
that you consider negative.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Why do you label it this way and how could you view
it differently?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
That's a good one.
I've always struggled withbeing self-critical and I've
always seen that as like a badthing, but maybe it's also what
motivates me to I don't know toimprove and grow.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Exactly.
It's about reframing thoseso-called negative qualities and
seeing their potential value.
Your self-criticism, whenhandled constructively, can help
you refine your skills and pushyourself to be your best.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
It's like finding the gold in the darkness.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I love that, and there's another prompt that
speaks to this idea oftransformation.
It says write about a part ofyour personality that you often
avoid or suppress.
What are you afraid wouldhappen if you embraced it?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Whoa.
Ok, this one is deep.
What are we hiding, not justfrom the world, but maybe even
from ourselves?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
It's about those parts of ourselves that we've
deemed unacceptable or maybeeven dangerous, like the things
we're afraid to let out.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I think for a lot of people it's anger or sadness.
We're told to like be positiveand put on a happy face.
But what if suppressing thoseemotions actually makes them
stronger?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
It's like trying to hold a beach ball underwater.
You can only hold it down forso long before it pops back up
with even more force.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
So by acknowledging those emotions, we can actually
start to release their hold onus.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Exactly.
It's about giving ourselvespermission to feel the full
range of our emotions.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
This reminds me of something you mentioned earlier
about Jung's concept of theshadow self.
If we're always trying tosuppress those shadow aspects,
are we actually preventingourselves from becoming whole?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That's such a good point.
Jung believed that byintegrating our shadow we
actually move closer towholeness.
We stop projecting thoseunwanted parts onto other people
and start to accept ourselvesmore folly.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's like, instead of running from those parts of
ourselves, we're finally turningaround and facing them.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Exactly, and that integration can be a lifelong
journey.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
A journey of self-discovery.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Wow Okay, deep dive is getting pretty intense, but
in a good way.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Right, it's definitely making us think.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay.
So Claire's final category iscultivating self-compassion and
acceptance, and I have a feelingthis is the key to making this
whole shadow work thingsustainable.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
It is Shadow.
Work can be challenging.
It can even be uncomfortable attimes, so approaching it with
self-compassion is essential.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
This last category cultivating self-compassion and
acceptance feels like theperfect way to wrap up this
whole shadow work deep dive.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It does, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Like we spent all this time exploring these darker
parts of ourselves and now weneed to come back up for air
with like a sense of kindnessand understanding for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Exactly, shadow work can bring up a lot of heavy
stuff, challenging emotions andmemories and all that.
So it's super important toapproach this whole process with
a gentle heart.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Absolutely.
Oh, there's a prompt here fromClara that really gets that.
Uh, reflect on a way you can bekinder to yourself in moments
of doubt.
How could this shift yourrelationship with yourself?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh, that's a good one .
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It's like that inner critic we all have.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Tell me about it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
That voice that can be so mean, especially when
you're already feeling down.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It's like it kicks you when you're already down,
doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Totally.
It makes me think like what ifwe treated ourselves with the
same kindness that we wouldoffer a friend?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's such a good point.
We're often so much harder onourselves than we would ever be
on anyone else.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
So true.
What if we replaced that innercritic with, like, an inner
cheerleader?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, someone who believes in you and reminds you
of all the amazing things you'recapable of.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I love that, and there's another prompt that I
think fits in perfectly here.
It's write about a goal youachieve that once felt
impossible.
How does acknowledging yoursuccess build self-confidence?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Oh, celebrating our wins is so important it is.
It's like giving ourselvespermission to feel proud, you
know, recognizing how far we'vecome and all the challenges
we've overcome.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Instead of just focusing on, like, what we still
haven't done.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Right, it's so easy to get caught up in that like
what's next mentality and forgetto appreciate how far we've
already come.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
This whole conversation about shadow work
and self-compassion has been soeye opening for me.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Me too.
It's really made me think.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
It feels like we've gone on this journey together,
you know, exploring those darkerparts of ourselves and coming
out the other side with a betterunderstanding of like what it
means to be human.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That's a great way to put it.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
So we've only scratched the surface of Clara's
50 prompts.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
But I think we've uncovered some really valuable
insights about this whole ideaof shadow work and
self-compassion.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It's all about accepting ourselves fully,
shadows and all.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I love that.
So for our listeners, we'llleave you with one final prompt
from Clara.
It says write about a way youcan celebrate who you are today,
flaws and all.
What small rituals or practicescan you create to honor your
journey?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And until next time, happy shadow journaling everyone
.
Welcome back everyone to another deep dive.
We are diving into something Ithink is pretty fascinating
today.
Have you heard of shadow work?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh, absolutely.
Shadow work is becoming quitepopular, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, and it's a lot different than what we usually
think of.
With journaling, usually it'sall about like gratitude and
good vibes.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Right, focusing on the positive.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
But shadow work is kind of the opposite.
It's about looking at those,you know, parts of ourselves
that we tend to hide, maybethose insecurities or fears, or
even just like behaviors that wedon't love.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's really about acknowledging the full spectrum
of who we are the light and theshadow.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Exactly, and today we're using an awesome resource
to guide us.
It's Clara Penrose's 50 ShadowJournal prompts from her blog
Lestallion.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh, I've heard good things about her blog.
I'm excited to dive into theseprompts Me too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
And what's so cool is how she's categorized them.
It's not just a random list offears or anything.
She dives into how those pastwounds impact us and how we
react when things get tough, andeven prompts about embracing
our so-called negative qualities.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
It's like a roadmap for self-discovery, guiding us
through different layers of ourinner world.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Totally Like.
I was just glancing through andsome of these really jumped out
at me like a fear that holdsyou back in life and a painful
memory from your past that youhaven't fully processed.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Whoa.
Those are powerful.
And then there are ones thatare more about taking action,
like a time when you acted outof anger what triggered you and
how could you responddifferently next time.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oof, yeah, that one hits home.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Right, it's about becoming more aware of those
patterns and making consciouschoices, and this all ties back
to Carl Jung's concept of theshadow self, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Fill me in Remind me.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
So Jung believed that everyone has this shadow side.
It's like a hidden part of ourpersonality where we store all
those thoughts, emotions andimpulses that we deem
unacceptable or negative, andhis idea was that by bringing
these aspects into our consciousawareness, we can actually
integrate them into a more wholeand authentic self okay.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
So it's not about like getting rid of those parts
of ourselves, but more aboutunderstanding them exactly.
It's not about like getting ridof those parts of ourselves,
but more about understandingthem Exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
It's about befriending your shadow, not
battling it.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I like that.
So let's jump into thoseprompts, shall we?
Let's do it, okay.
So Claire's first category isall about exploring inner fears
and insecurities, and one promptthat I thought was really
interesting was think about asituation where you felt intense
insecurity.
What triggered those feelingsand how do they still impact you
(02:29):
?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
That's a great starting point, because it
invites us to really examinethose moments when we feel most
vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Right, it's like we all have those moments.
It's like when you walk into aroom and suddenly you feel like
everyone's judging you, even ifyou know, logically, there's no
reason for them to be.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Absolutely.
That fear of judgment is acommon thread that runs through
many of our insecurities.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
It makes me wonder is that just part of being human?
Like, is that fear of judgmentjust kind of hardwired into us?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It definitely seems to be a universal experience.
It goes back to our deep-seatedneed for belonging and
connection.
When we perceive any threat tothat, our insecurities tend to
flare up.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That makes sense.
So this prompt is about tracingthose insecurities back to
their source.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Exactly, it's about understanding the roots of those
feelings so that we can startto work with them constructively
.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Okay.
So instead of just feelinginsecure, we're encouraged to
investigate why we feel that way.
It's like detective work forour emotions.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I like that analogy.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
There's another prompt in this section that
stood out to me.
Describe a way you might beholding yourself back from
happiness.
What fears or insecurities keepyou from moving forward?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Whoa Ooh, that's a powerful one.
It goes right to the heart ofself-sabotage, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Yeah, I mean, we all do it in different ways, right?
We stay in jobs that make usmiserable or we avoid going
after our dreams, or maybe wepush away people who care about
us.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It's like we have this internal break system that
kicks in whenever we get tooclose to what we truly desire.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
It's like those times when a great opportunity comes
along and, instead of beingexcited, you feel this like wave
of fear or doubt and you freezeup.
I've been there.
Do you think exploring thisprompt can actually help us,
like break free from thosepatterns?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I think it's a crucial step.
By bringing those fears andinsecurities into our conscious
awareness, we can start tochallenge their validity.
We can ask ourselves are thesefears based on real evidence or
are they echoes of pastexperiences that no longer hold
true?
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Right.
So it's about gaining thatawareness so we can make
different choices.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Exactly.
The more we understand thosepatterns, the more empowered we
become to choose differently.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
This is already making me think about all those
what if?
Scenarios that I let hold meback sometimes.
Maybe facing those fears headon is the key to actually moving
forward.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I think there's a lot of truth to that.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Okay now Clara's next category is uncovering past
wounds and memories, and I wouldsay this one feels a bit
heavier, but I get the sensethat it's just as important.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
It is.
It's about acknowledging howour past experiences,
particularly those that werepainful or traumatic, can shape
our perceptions and behaviors inthe present.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Right, like we can't just pretend that those
experiences didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Exactly, and one prompt that really resonated
with me in this section wasright about a time when you felt
betrayed by someone you trusted.
How did it impact your view ofrelationships?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oof, that's a tough one, but it's so relatable, I
mean.
I think we've all experiencedbetrayal in some form or another
.
It's a universal one, but it'sso relatable, I mean.
I think we've all experiencedbetrayal in some form or another
.
It's a universal experience,unfortunately, and those wounds
can run so deep, you know it canmake you question everything
and everyone, especially yourability to trust.
So I wonder can journalingabout those experiences actually
(05:40):
help heal those wounds?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I believe it can be a powerful step in the healing
process when we avoid thosepainful memories.
They often linger in oursubconscious, influencing our
thoughts and actions, without useven realizing it.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's like they're festering under the surface.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Exactly, but by writing about them in a safe and
controlled environment, we canstart to process those emotions
and begin to make sense of whathappened.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
So it's like bringing those buried emotions to the
surface, where we can finallydeal.
There's another prompt herethat I think ties into that.
Think of a relationship thatended in a way that left you
feeling unresolved.
How does this unfinishedchapter affect you?
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Hmm, that speaks to the power of closure, doesn't it
?
Or rather the lack thereof.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Right, it's like when a relationship ends abruptly or
without a sense of resolution,it can leave you feeling kind of
stuck, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
It's like a song that ends on a dissonant chord.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, you keep replaying those scenarios in
your head, wondering what mighthave been or what you could have
done differently.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, we might even carry that unfinished business
with us into new relationshipswithout realizing it.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Like, without even realizing it, we might be
seeking closure in all the wrongplaces.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Precisely this prompt invites us to examine how those
unresolved endings might stillbe influencing our present
relationships.
Are we guarding ourselvesagainst potential hurt because
of past pain?
Are we unconsciously seekingsomething that we didn't get in
the past?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Wow, okay, this is already getting pretty deep.
It's making me realize howinterconnected our past and
present really are.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
That's the power of shadow work.
It helps us connect the dots,understand our patterns and
ultimately create a moreconscious and fulfilling life.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I'm already feeling those dots connecting.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Ready to explore some more of these prompts, oh
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
These first two categories have already given me
so much to think about.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Okay, so moving on, let's dive into a category that
I think has some reallypractical tools for navigating
like everyday life.
It's recognizing triggers andreactions.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Ooh, that sounds interesting.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, and there's a prompt here by Clara that I find
super insightful.
It is describe a situationwhere you reacted strongly to
something.
What was the trigger and why doyou think it affected you so
deeply?
Oh yeah, that one's good.
It's for those times when youlike, completely overre strongly
to something.
What?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
was the trigger and why do you think it affected you
so deeply?
Oh yeah, that one's good.
It's for those times when youlike completely overreact to
something small and then lateryou're like why did I do that?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Exactly, we all have these triggers.
You know specific words,actions or even just situations
that can evoke this like hugeemotional response, and often
these triggers are linked topast experiences or, you know,
maybe unresolved stuff that wehaven't fully dealt with.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Right, right.
It's like a hidden landmine youthink you're doing OK and then
boom, something sets you off andyou just explode.
But what if we could I don'tknow identify those landmines
Like?
Maybe then we could avoid them.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I think that's the whole point.
By becoming aware of ourtriggers, we can start to
understand the real reasonsbehind our reactions.
We can start to see thedifference between what's
actually happening in thepresent moment and what's being
like dredged up from the past.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
So it's about creating that space between the
trigger and the reaction Right,so we can choose how we respond
instead of just reactingautomatically.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Exactly.
Instead of just reacting, wecan pause, we can observe what's
happening.
Then we decide how we want torespond.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Okay, so how do we do that?
Like, where do we even begin?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Well, one way is to start paying attention to those
moments when you feel that surgeof emotion.
Ask yourself what just happened?
What thoughts or feelings arecoming up for me right now?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
That makes sense.
Yeah, and there's anotherprompt in this section that I
think really dives into thiswhole trigger reaction dynamic.
It's describe an aspect of yourpersonality that comes out
during conflict.
How do you feel about this sideof yourself?
Ooh yeah, this is a good one.
It makes me think about how weall have different I don't know
versions of ourselves that comeout in different situations.
(09:30):
Like different masks we wearTotally out in different
situations, like different maskswe wear totally, for instance,
I'm usually pretty easy going,but when conflict arises, oh man
, I can get super assertive,almost argumentative, and it's
not always my best look thisprompt challenges us to
acknowledge those you know maybeless than ideal sides of
ourselves that show up whenwe're under stress like those
(09:51):
shadow sides right, but it's notabout judging them.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
it's about them Like what needs or fears are driving
those reactions.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
This makes me realize that conflict can actually be a
powerful mirror.
It shows us parts of ourselvesthat we might otherwise keep
hidden, even from ourselves.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
That's a great point, and once we've acknowledged
those sides of ourselves, we canactually start to work with
them in a more constructive way.
Maybe we can find healthierways to express our needs or to
deal with anger, or maybe wediscover that some of those
qualities, when channeled in theright way, can actually be
strengths.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Oh, that's interesting.
So, like my, assertiveness inconflict, while not always
pretty, can also be a way ofsetting boundaries and standing
up for myself.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Exactly, it's about finding that balance.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Okay, this is blowing my mind a little bit.
So now we get to Claire's nextcategory, embracing the shadow
self, and this feels like atotal shift in perspective.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It is.
This is where we move from justacknowledging our shadow to
actually embracing it.
It's about realizing that allparts of ourselves, even the
ones we judge as negative or bad, have a role to play in our
wholeness.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I love that we're so conditioned to strive for
perfection, to eliminate ourflaws.
But what if those so-calledflaws are actually part of what
makes us well us?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
And you know one prompt that really challenges
that whole perfection idea isreflect on a quality in yourself
that you consider negative.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Why do you label it this way and how could you view
it differently?
Speaker 1 (11:18):
That's a good one.
I've always struggled withbeing self-critical and I've
always seen that as like a badthing, but maybe it's also what
motivates me to I don't know toimprove and grow.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Exactly.
It's about reframing thoseso-called negative qualities and
seeing their potential value.
Your self-criticism, whenhandled constructively, can help
you refine your skills and pushyourself to be your best.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
It's like finding the gold in the darkness.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I love that, and there's another prompt that
speaks to this idea oftransformation.
It says write about a part ofyour personality that you often
avoid or suppress.
What are you afraid wouldhappen if you embraced it?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Whoa.
Ok, this one is deep.
What are we hiding, not justfrom the world, but maybe even
from ourselves?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
It's about those parts of ourselves that we've
deemed unacceptable or maybeeven dangerous, like the things
we're afraid to let out.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I think for a lot of people it's anger or sadness.
We're told to like be positiveand put on a happy face.
But what if suppressing thoseemotions actually makes them
stronger?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
It's like trying to hold a beach ball underwater.
You can only hold it down forso long before it pops back up
with even more force.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
So by acknowledging those emotions, we can actually
start to release their hold onus.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Exactly.
It's about giving ourselvespermission to feel the full
range of our emotions.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
This reminds me of something you mentioned earlier
about Jung's concept of theshadow self.
If we're always trying tosuppress those shadow aspects,
are we actually preventingourselves from becoming whole?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That's such a good point.
Jung believed that byintegrating our shadow we
actually move closer towholeness.
We stop projecting thoseunwanted parts onto other people
and start to accept ourselvesmore folly.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's like, instead of running from those parts of
ourselves, we're finally turningaround and facing them.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Exactly, and that integration can be a lifelong
journey.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
A journey of self-discovery.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Wow Okay, deep dive is getting pretty intense, but
in a good way.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Right, it's definitely making us think.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Okay.
So Claire's final category iscultivating self-compassion and
acceptance, and I have a feelingthis is the key to making this
whole shadow work thingsustainable.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
It is Shadow.
Work can be challenging.
It can even be uncomfortable attimes, so approaching it with
self-compassion is essential.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
This last category cultivating self-compassion and
acceptance feels like theperfect way to wrap up this
whole shadow work deep dive.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It does, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Like we spent all this time exploring these darker
parts of ourselves and now weneed to come back up for air
with like a sense of kindnessand understanding for ourselves.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Exactly, shadow work can bring up a lot of heavy
stuff, challenging emotions andmemories and all that.
So it's super important toapproach this whole process with
a gentle heart.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Absolutely.
Oh, there's a prompt here fromClara that really gets that.
Uh, reflect on a way you can bekinder to yourself in moments
of doubt.
How could this shift yourrelationship with yourself?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh, that's a good one .
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It's like that inner critic we all have.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Tell me about it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
That voice that can be so mean, especially when
you're already feeling down.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It's like it kicks you when you're already down,
doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Totally.
It makes me think like what ifwe treated ourselves with the
same kindness that we wouldoffer a friend?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
That's such a good point.
We're often so much harder onourselves than we would ever be
on anyone else.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
So true.
What if we replaced that innercritic with, like, an inner
cheerleader?
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, someone who believes in you and reminds you
of all the amazing things you'recapable of.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I love that, and there's another prompt that I
think fits in perfectly here.
It's write about a goal youachieve that once felt
impossible.
How does acknowledging yoursuccess build self-confidence?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Oh, celebrating our wins is so important it is.
It's like giving ourselvespermission to feel proud, you
know, recognizing how far we'vecome and all the challenges
we've overcome.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Instead of just focusing on, like, what we still
haven't done.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Right, it's so easy to get caught up in that like
what's next mentality and forgetto appreciate how far we've
already come.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
This whole conversation about shadow work
and self-compassion has been soeye opening for me.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Me too.
It's really made me think.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
It feels like we've gone on this journey together,
you know, exploring those darkerparts of ourselves and coming
out the other side with a betterunderstanding of like what it
means to be human.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That's a great way to put it.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
So we've only scratched the surface of Clara's
50 prompts.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Right.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
But I think we've uncovered some really valuable
insights about this whole ideaof shadow work and
self-compassion.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
It's all about accepting ourselves fully,
shadows and all.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I love that.
So for our listeners, we'llleave you with one final prompt
from Clara.
It says write about a way youcan celebrate who you are today,
flaws and all.
What small rituals or practicescan you create to honor your
journey?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And until next time, happy shadow journaling everyone
.
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