Burnt Chop Theory

You know that moment when the plate lands on the table and you instinctively reach for the smallest portion? That quiet reflex has a name—Burnt Chop Theory—and it might be draining the very energy you need to live, love, and lead with heart. We share the simple story of Wendy, a lifelong giver who decided she’s not taking the burnt chop anymore, and use her example to reframe self-sacrifice as a choice rather than a rule.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to Let It Be Easy with Susie Moore.
Have you heard of Burnt ChopTheory?
This is so good.
Stick with me, okay?
Have you heard of Burnt ChopTheory?
I have the best mother-in-law inthe world.

(00:22):
In fact, if you head to myInstagram page, you'll see my
last post is with her.
She came she took me to theToday Show in Australia where I
just had an appearance, whichwas so fun.
And at the end, she came up andtook a photo with me in the
host.
And she is just gorgeous too.
You can check that out on atSusie.more.
But I learned about burnt choptheory from her because she

(00:45):
says, I'm not taking the burntchop anymore.
I'm not taking the burnt chop.
And from my understanding, I dida bit of research.
It all started with anAustralian mother who explained
on social media that she alwaystook the burnt chop.
Meaning her family got the bestpieces of dinner, the best chops
of meat, the best cuts.

(01:05):
And she took whatever was leftin the spirit of giving, right?
In the spirit of good mothering,in the spirit of self-sacrifice.
And I think that a lot of peopledo this.
It isn't unique to women, itisn't unique to mothers, but it
is a quality that many of uspossess, meaning we put
ourselves last.

(01:26):
It becomes a pattern.
It's like, you know, if thereare like a load of muffins or
donuts, you know, we'll take thesmallest one or we'll take the
one that might look a little bitfunny and let everybody else
have the best pieces.
And I love it.
I love it.
I love when I hear her say, I'mnot taking the bone chop
anymore.
I'm not taking the bone chopanymore.
Because she has lived anincredible life of giving to her

(01:48):
family, giving to her husband,giving to others.
And I love seeing herincreasingly put her needs
first, think about what it isthat she desires, taking charge
on going on excursions that meanuh that mean something to her,
um, saying yes to things thatbring joy that maybe aren't so
practical, and allowing herselfto receive more and more.

(02:13):
Are you the person who alwaysreceives the burnt job?
I mean, think about it.
Have you learned early to makeyourself perhaps smaller,
perhaps easier, perhaps lessneedy or difficult for others?
I think it's very common to givethe best to your kids, to your
partner, to work, to friends.

(02:33):
And this is just takingwithdrawals from your bank
account.
I think we know that any bankaccount cannot survive on
withdrawals for long.
You need to make deposits.
And so taking the lesser portionall the time, however that
looks, whether it's actuallyphysically in the physical world
when it comes to food or when itcomes to taking a backseat in

(02:54):
life or not voicing your needsor just saying yes to keep the
peace, it becomes this defaultsetting of, you know, you first,
I'm fine.
You first, I'm fine.
But that burnt shop has a it hasa cost.
It has a cost, especially overtime.
We erode what our needs are andour energy is drained.

(03:15):
And we teach others too that ourneeds matter last.
So think about this, my friends.
Where can you stop stop that,right?
Stop giving yourself the burntshop.
Stop putting yourself in the theplace of actually I'm gonna have
the good piece, or I'm gonnahave, oh my gosh, that feels too
scary, the second best piecewhen you honor your needs.

(03:38):
You you model self-esteem, youmodel what it means to say, I
matter, and that is generosity,my friends, and that is
strength.
The world gets your best whenyou also give yourself the best
sometimes.
Maybe not all the time, maybethat's not realistic.

(03:59):
But where can you be servingyourself first?
Not because you're selfish, butbecause you're savvy.
You know that your needs count,and you know that how you show
up in the world and how you letothers perceive your needs
matters too.
My friends, self-neglect isn'tgenerous, it can feel that way,

(04:19):
but it depletes us over time.
And we don't want to be last inwe don't want to be last in
line.
We don't deserve to be last inline.
Nobody does.
And your energy bank, what youyour energy bank when you think
about it, when it goes intooverdraft, how does that look?
It's not good for you or foranybody.

(04:41):
My friends, burnt chop theory.
How can this apply to you andhow can you take this incredible
action, just like mymother-in-law Wendy, of turning
it around?
With so much love, my friends,until tomorrow.
So much love and ease.
Hey friend, I've got somethingreally cool for you.
I want to give you free accessto my signature course called

(05:05):
Slay Your Year, which typicallysells for$997.
You can check it out, all thedetails at slayouryear.com.
All you have to do to get accessis leave me a review, leave a
review of this podcast on ApplePodcasts, take a snapshot of it,
and send it to info atsusymour.com.

(05:25):
That's info at susymour.com, andwe'll get you set up with
access.