April 13, 2025 • 53 mins
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Kate Northrup returns to the Let It Be Easy podcast with groundbreaking insights into the profound relationship between money and our nervous system. Her perspective transforms how we approach financial conversations, revealing why even the most seemingly mundane money discussions can trigger intense emotional responses.
At the heart of Kate's message is a revolutionary concept: our nervous system holds memories of every financial experience we've ever had, creating automatic responses that either attract or repel money based on what feels "safe" to our bodies.
"We've massively over-coupled our worth with our money," Kate explains, pointing to the core misunderstanding that drives financial anxiety. When we can separate our inherent value from our bank account balance, everything changes.
What makes Kate's approach so refreshing is her focus on physiological solutions rather than just mindset work. She compares updating our financial patterns to rewiring a house's electrical system – expensive and disruptive but ultimately necessary for progress. Through simple techniques like conscious breathing into your lower back ribs during money conversations, you can actually signal safety to your body and interrupt old stress patterns before they fully activate. This creates space for new possibilities without the need to "overcome" resistance.
Money avoidance takes an enormous toll on our energy and creativity. Kate reveals how getting clear about your financial reality – regardless of how uncomfortable it might initially feel – actually liberates massive amounts of mental and emotional bandwidth. Her students report not just improved financial outcomes but enhanced relationships and even better sex lives as money transforms from a source of conflict into a point of connection. The practical wisdom Kate shares makes this episode essential listening for anyone ready to break free from limiting money patterns and experience the ease that comes with financial clarity.
And, as a special bonus, I want to give you FREE access to my signature course, Slay Your Year (usually $997)! All you have to do is:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome.
To Let it Be Easy with SusieMoore.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Kate Northrup is a return guest to the podcast, and
you are going to see why today.
Look, kate's incredible.
She is a personal friend ofmine, she's wise, she's
brilliant.
And let me tell you somethingKate is a genius when it comes
to understanding how moneyaffects and impacts our nervous
(00:36):
system and what we need to doinside of us in order to welcome
abundance, welcome steadinessand allow money to be this
relaxed topic in our lives.
Sounds pretty great, doesn't it?
I have to kick off by sayingcheck out the link in the show
notes, my friend, because Kateis kicking off an incredibly
(01:00):
valuable series called Good WithMoney.
Who doesn't want to be goodwith money, can I say?
And it kicks off this month,april 2025.
So, oh my gosh, do not delay.
Sign up, register.
I will be there too.
It is magical.
And if you don't know Kate, sheis a bestselling author.
(01:23):
She is known for helping peoplelight up the world, doing work
that is deeply meaningful tothem without burning themselves
out.
She wrote Money, a Love Story.
She wrote Do Less.
She's in the media constantly.
She's wonderful.
I cannot speak more highly ofthis woman and I want to see you
at her workshop.
(01:43):
Good With Money.
I will be there.
It's so valuable and it's myjoy truly to give you this
interview today.
I give you the one and onlyKate Northrup.
Kate Northrup, one of myfavorite people in the entire
(02:04):
world, welcome back to the Letit Be Easy podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I'm so honored to be back.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You are the very first return guest I've had.
Stop it right now, no way.
It's how much I love you.
It's how special and unique youare.
It's how much you have to share.
Welcome back.
Thanks, kate Northrup.
Okay, we are talking about abig topic today and one thing
(02:32):
that I want to share with you.
Having been a coach, nowfull-time for 10 years a decade
a little over now I can tell youthat, speaking about divorce,
sexuality, politics, religion,family all the things can bring
up tension and can bring upstuff within us, but nothing
quite like money.
(02:52):
Money, oh my God.
It gets hot, it gets crazy, itgets uncomfortable.
It's money is why.
What is going on with us, kate?
Why can't we have aconversation about money, money
that's calm and that's relaxed,where we don't feel judged or
judge others.
Why so much stuff around money?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
So many layers here.
The first one I'll just say isthat we have massively
over-coupled our worth with ourmoney.
Our worth, inherent worth, as ahuman being has nothing to do
with how much we make.
It has nothing to do with howmuch debt we're in.
It has nothing to do with howmuch we earn.
We are infinitely worthy ashuman beings.
(03:36):
We were born that way, we willdie that way.
And yet we've been conditionedto believe, consciously or
unconsciously, or a little bitof both, that our financial
status is our actual status as ahuman being.
Like is our worthiness.
(03:57):
And it's just not true.
And when we can uncouple thosetwo things, we find quite a bit
of freedom.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
This can be tricky, I'm sure, because the world will
tell you, the world will rewardyou your new car, your bigger
house, your Sicily yacht,whatever it may be that you're
purchasing things that wepossess, experiences we have.
Do you think that it's possibleto have an understanding of our
inherent worth and still have ahealthy relationship with money
(04:31):
that allows us to attract moreand more?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yes, and actually what's so cool is that the
deeper we feel our inherentworth, the more connected to
source we are with a capital Sto our divine inherent worth and
value, the easier the moneygame becomes for many people.
Now I also want to be superclear.
(04:54):
There are plenty of people whohave gobs of money, who don't
have high self-worth.
So I'm not saying thatincreasing your that that
everybody with money has highself-worth.
But for those who do not, whodo have a tricky relationship
with money, improving yourrelationship with self and your
connection to your inherent,infinite value will make it
(05:17):
easier to make money, becausemoney is also a pretend system
that humans made up to tradevalue for value, meaning what I
think matters, for what youthink matters, which is a deeply
subjective topic and alsocompletely emotional.
And so that's also why money issuch an emotional topic,
(05:38):
because it is a stand-in for forwhat matters to us, and what
matters to us is based on ouremotions.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
When you talk about our relationship with Source
capital S, I know that when Ifeel most connected to myself
and aligned with myself andreally myself, I get good ideas.
I know what's for me, I knowwhat's not for me.
Maybe I've even oversimplifiedit because you know how I grew
up with very, very little in thematerial, but money felt to me
(06:12):
along the way, still does.
It feels available.
I don't know.
It's almost like a hard thingto describe because I grew up
with some funny money beliefs.
Right, like rich people arecrooks.
You can't trust anybody.
Oh, uh, if you have anythingfrom the hotel minibar not that
we stayed in hotels, but even asan adult now I'm like I can't
(06:35):
afford the peanut.
I mean there are some weird.
It's funny because I know thatthere are some things that we
can unlearn, but they feel deep.
And yet the journey to creatinga better relationship with
money is it all or nothing?
Can there be some gray areas,like I have?
I mean, how do you see it?
How do you see it on thejourney?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Well, to me, we live in an infinite universe.
That's just scientifically afact, and so everything in the
universe is therefore infiniteon some level, including our
capacity to experience healthy,relaxed abundance.
So we can improve ourrelationship with money by 5%
(07:19):
and still have 95% stuff in thebackground.
We can improve it by 95% andstill have 5%.
And the the differing, you knowkind of beliefs do not cancel
each other out.
I firmly believe that two thingscan be true at the same time
(07:39):
and two things can feel true atthe same time, and we can
actually hold them both, andneither needs to cancel each
other out.
And actually our ability tohold nuance and to feel
dichotomy and duality enhancesour power as opposed to detracts
.
To me, a profound level ofwisdom is when one can hold the
(08:04):
gray area and see a lot ofdifferent angles around the same
thing, and so I don't thinkit's all or nothing at all.
I don't think you reach amoment where you're like, oh now
, my relationship with money isas healthy as it can be, it's
perfect, Very similar to yourphysical health, right?
There's always something wecould be tweaking or enhancing.
(08:26):
No matter how amazing we feel,we can always feel better.
And what else are we doing inthis lifetime if not expanding
our capacity to feel?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
good.
Okay, so feeling good is partof it, right've you shared with
me the analogy before aboutrewiring, about how, when it
comes to really just transmutingsomething and being able to, I
think, being able to understandyourself more deeply and and do
(08:57):
some deep, foundational work?
Could you explain that Cause Ithought it was so good when you
shared it with me and I was like, oh because, like I said, I
think with money, cause there'sso much stuff when we even bring
it up, there's a shutdown,there's a there's got to leave
this conversation redirect, likethere is something that happens
.
It makes us nervous.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, and you just shared in from your own
upbringing that money was maybea cause of stress Like that when
conversations around money cameup, would you say it was?
It felt stressful andcontracted.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, I mean violent, I meanit's money.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Violent even Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
There's not enough.
There's not enough.
And is it for alcohol, or is itfor electricity?
And, oh my gosh, like the Fearviolence, contraction, lack of
safety.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yes, so for everybody I have ever talked to, they
have some version ofconstriction and contraction and
fear and stress patterns thatthey built into their system.
Our bodies are developing whenwe're children, and one of the
(10:02):
systems that's developing is thenervous system, and the nervous
system is responsible for ouremotions, our thoughts, our
beliefs and our behavior, butit's largely unconscious.
All of the patterning, all ofthe wiring, as you said.
So our nervous system isessentially the electrical of
our body.
(10:23):
If our body were a house, thenervous system would be the
electrical, and so when we havea stimulus conversation about
money, our body remembers theprior experiences with that
stimulus because our body iswired for survival.
(10:44):
It's doing a wonderful jobkeeping us alive, and so for
someone who's not done work toupdate their wiring, there will
be stimulus conversation aboutmoney and then a subsequent
neural pattern response that iscompletely automatic and
unconscious and for most of usit is a stress pattern, Like
(11:09):
money triggers a threat becauseof the association from our past
that's wired into our bodies.
Now, what's tricky about thatis that most of us desire a
level of financial wellbeingthat we did not experience
(11:30):
before.
Right, that wasn't available inour childhood that maybe nobody
else in our lineage has everexperienced.
Right, we may be the first, butour body is associating
anything new, or even just aconversation about money, as a
threat and it shuts down andwhat it'll cause is resistance.
(11:54):
Because updating the wiring,whether it's in a house or in a
body, is expensive.
You got to hire an electrician.
You got to pull out the walls.
You got to figure out what'sgoing on in there.
You got to redo the drywall.
It's like a whole thing In ourbodies.
It is the same thing.
Redoing neural patterns isenergetically expensive and our
(12:16):
body doesn't want to spend theenergy because our body is
trying to conserve all of theenergy for basic, basic survival
, basic survival.
Then add to it if you're in atime in your life where you have
an excessive amount of stressmaybe you've just had a baby,
you've just gone through adivorce, you've just moved,
(12:37):
you've experienced a loss ofsome kind, you've changed a job,
something like that your stressthreat bucket is extra full and
your body will be likeabsolutely not.
I am completely unavailable fortransformation, because
transformation requires newneural pattern and new neural
(12:58):
patterning.
Updating the electric isextremely expensive.
I don't have the energeticresources for it, and so that's
kind of like the problem, and ofcourse, I'm happy to talk about
the solution, but that's wherethe wiring comes in.
That's why a huge extent of ourbehavior around money is
completely unconscious and wemay know like of course you need
(13:19):
to spend less than you make.
Of course you need to be saving.
Of course you shouldn't beracking up credit card debt Like
duh.
Yes, why are millions andmillions of Americans and people
globally I mean, we have adifferent relationship with debt
in this country but why is thissuch an issue?
(13:40):
It's the very same thing.
It's like people know theyshouldn't eat a sleeve of Oreos
if they want to lose weight.
They know they need to movetheir bodies.
Sleeve of Oreos if they want tolose weight, they know they
need to move their bodies.
Why can they not do it?
Because our behavior isembedded in our unconscious, and
our unconscious, which is wiredinto our nervous system, will
always supersede our consciousthought.
We cannot think our way out ofold wiring.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I love how you say the word expensive.
Not only is it relevant andfunny to this situation, but
it's pretty expensive not to dothis right.
It's taxing on the body athousand percent, like rewiring
a house, but the cost of notlike the cost.
So, for example, when you saythere's like a trigger, so just
say I meet up with somebody andher and I having a martini, and
(14:25):
she drops a huge number that shemade or that she's got in,
she's invested in Apple or Idon't know whatever.
Or she bought an investmentproperty that was like 5 million
bucks in front, I don't knowwhatever it is.
And I'm like, oh, I thought Iwas doing quite well over here.
Like, oh, I thought I was, Ithought I was doing, I thought I
was like a thumbs up.
And then I have a thoughtlittle Susie doesn't have
(14:47):
anything.
There's not enough food for,there's not enough, so so for me
to even have that, it does feellike almost like a heat in the
body or something.
Yes, like for a second until itwon't stay with me forever, but
it's there and I'm like aha,interesting, Like so could you
speak to?
Even just it doesn't have to beeven as dramatic as that, but
(15:08):
you see, you, just, it doesn'thave to be even as dramatic as
that.
But you see, you know yourneighbor gets a newer car or
your kid's going to a more eliteschool or something like that.
Like, how does the rewiring?
How could we almost talk itthrough in that, in just a real
life example like that.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Okay, I love it.
So in the example with yourfriend, let's say your friend
says she just got like amultiple six figure book deal
and you desire a multiple sixfigure book deal as well and you
haven't gotten one yet.
And what happens in your bodyis that there is an instant
(15:42):
neural trigger that says that'snew, therefore unfamiliar.
Says that's new, thereforeunfamiliar, therefore unsafe.
Now that neural patterning,which is like a whole bunch of
neurons that fire together,actually creates a series of
sensations in your body.
It happens so fast we have totrain ourselves to pay attention
(16:05):
to it.
But that series of sensationswe call an emotion, and so that
emotion may be jealousy, it maybe anxiety, it may be irritation
.
There's like a lot of differentemotions that we could feel, but
all an emotion is is a physicalsensation.
You, you can't feel an emotionwithout a body bodyotions, the
(16:29):
recent if anybody's listeningwho's a parent?
And you saw Inside Out 2, Iloved it.
However, I was annoyed and Iwant to take it up with Pixar,
because it is perpetuating themisunderstanding that emotions
(16:49):
happen in the brain exclusively.
Emotions do not happen in thebrain exclusively.
They signal the brain based ona sensation that is happening in
your body.
And so you're sitting there atthe bar and she's got the book
deal and you're now having anemotion which is a physical
(17:10):
sensation, and then that emotiontriggers a thought.
The thought is, oh, I don't, Idon't have that, I'm not good
enough, or she's bragging or any, or oh no, she just slept with
the publisher right Like anynumber.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Mine is like I'm never seeing this girl ever
again.
Any number of thoughts.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Now, all of that happens so fast that what we
think happens is that somebodysays something and we think a
thought, but there's aphysiological experience that
happens in the in-between, thatis body-based.
Now then you have a thought andthat repeated thought of course
creates a belief which iseither, like you know, rich
(17:57):
people are so bitchy or I'm notgood enough, or you know, and
then you have behavior thatcomes from emotions, thoughts,
beliefs, and then we have abehavior which is whatever.
What's a behavior that could befrom this interaction.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Like pettiness, like wanting to one-up in another way
.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yeah, or like maybe your behavior is like you go
then bad mouth that person toanother person who turns out to
know another publisher, and nowthey know that you talk behind
people's back so you're notgoing to get that book deal
Right.
So, like then we end up with areality which is not what we
want, because the realitycontinues to match what our
(18:40):
nervous system feels is safe,which is not having the multiple
six figure book deal.
Our nervous system is alwaystrying to keep us in a narrow
band of what we have experiencedbefore, aka what is safe.
So how do we then interruptthis cycle so that we can
experience all our dreams anddesires, which are largely
(19:02):
things we've never experiencedbefore, therefore things that
our nervous system thinks are athreat.
Well, therefore, things thatour nervous system thinks are a
threat.
Well, in that moment at the bar,when your friend is like
talking about her multiple sixfigure book deal, that's the
(19:23):
time to signal to your body thatit is safe.
What you want to do is have afew strategies, and this is just
, this is like the acute.
And then there's ways you canbuild in practices every day to
kind of compound your nervoussystem health.
But this is just, this is likethe acute.
And then there's ways you canbuild in practices every day to
kind of compound your nervoussystem health.
But this is an acute scenario.
So in an acute scenario, if Iwere in that situation and I was
noticing my little stinkingthinking like, right, yes,
that's how you know you're innervous system resistance and we
(19:45):
don't, my method is not to talkourselves out of it, because we
can't fix a physical problem onthe level of the mind alone,
but instead feel our way throughit.
So you can do something in thatmoment that signals to your
body you are safe.
And then, if you wanna even bemore advanced, you can tap into
the fact that your body hasthese really cool things called
(20:08):
mirror neurons and your bodydoes not believe the lie of
separation that says if she'shaving multiple six figure book
deal, then I can't have that.
That's the lie of separationpaired with the zero sum model.
The lie of separation feeds thezero sum model right.
Instead, our bodies know thetruth, which is we are all one.
(20:30):
Unity is actually what's real.
And what's actually realeconomically speaking, quite
frankly, is that when one womanbreaks that ceiling and gets a
multiple six-figure book deal,she actually has instantly made
more multiple six-figure bookdeals available to more people,
especially for the girlfriendwho's sitting at the bar with
(20:51):
her Exactly Drinking a martini,because they're already friends
and they're already in the samesphere.
And so what we can do is we cando something to signal safety.
And I'll give you an example,please, really simple you can
breathe into your lower backribs.
I like that, that technique,because, um, you can do it
(21:13):
anytime and no one knows.
You're like trying to calm downyour nervous system.
Right, so, just right now, youand I can take our next breath.
You just take it intentionallyinto your lower back ribs, which
is quite a bit further thanyou'd think, like bring your
hands back there and feel allthe way down, like it's at your
waist, so sending your breaththere.
(21:35):
You know you can do three tofive breaths if you're doing
this intentionally, but ifyou're in a conversation, you
just do it when you breathe whenthe other person is talking, so
that instantly tells your bodyhey, sweetie, you're safe.
And then it also makesavailable the rest digest, tend
(21:58):
and befriend state of yournervous system, wherein you are
more present, you are moreavailable, you're more creative,
you're a better criticalthinker, you're more magnetic
and your mirror neurons are moreavailable.
You're more creative, you're abetter critical thinker, you're
more magnetic and your mirrorneurons are more available to
fire and be like oh, the factthat this is happening for her
(22:19):
is proof that I can have it too.
And there's a level ofconsciousness and of actual
experience you can tap into inthat moment where her having it
tells your body that your bodyis having it too.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's like a magic trick.
It's a magic trick.
It's like a magic trick.
And you know what's sointeresting, kate, which is why
I love that you do the work thatyou do.
There is so much shame aroundthis.
Imagine if I had thatconversation oh, someone just
got this 500k deal.
Who am I going to say I'm nothappy about that?
Who am I going to tell?
Who am I going to go?
Oh, that bitch.
Like.
(22:56):
Oh, what the hell is going on?
Oh, the world's fucked.
Like who am I going to go tell?
I'd be too embarrassed, right.
I'd have this feeling of I'vegot to hide it.
I mean, don't you find thatwe're not having these
conversations?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
No, we're not having these conversations and when we
have shame about something andwe think a response that we're
having or a reaction we'rehaving is bad or that we're bad,
we actually store that frictionaway in our nervous system and
it increases how tightly woundwe are and it makes us less
(23:31):
available to be in a regulatednervous system.
Response where we're fullypresent, fully magnetic, fully
ourselves, fully connected tosource Repression and
suppression and shame actuallyjack up our nervous system more.
But feeling our feelings andtelling the truth frees us, yeah
(23:53):
.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
It's like the opposite, compounding and the
negative.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yes, it's a negative compounding for sure, and can
you?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I would say the majority of people go through
life this way, with and againit's, it's.
It's not even our fault, likeit's just like a lack of
awareness and lack of it's inthe water and it's the way our.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
you know, I have two little girls.
They're eight and the other onewill be nine this week, and I
mean they're six.
Oh my God, who are?
Who am I?
I don't even know who these?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
kids are.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Six and nine, and one of the things that I'll say to
my kids like, let's say, one ofthem is mad at the other one and
screams and like throwssomething at the other kid I'll
say, listen, it is okay to beangry, you get to feel angry, I
get why you would feel angry,like it is okay to feel angry,
(24:40):
and here are the appropriate,safe ways that you can express
that anger.
I'm like, instead of throwingsomething at your sister or
hitting her, what you can do isyou can yell into a pillow, you
can throw a stuffed animal atthe wall, you can stomp around.
There's like all these options.
So what happens for most of usis growing up our emotions.
(25:04):
We were told that our emotionswere wrong and that they were a
problem, they were inconvenientand that there was something
wrong with us, but actually it'sa completely normal, natural
response and unfortunately, whenwe stuff them down, it causes a
tremendous backlog of stress.
(25:26):
That makes it so that when weare trying to change our
thoughts, beliefs and behavior,our body's like hell.
No, I have no resources right,but we, as you pointed out, it
is way too expensive not tochange those things, in fact,
and so we need to learn tosignal to our bodies that we're
(25:49):
safe, and one of the things thatwe can do is actually give
ourselves permission to feel ourfeelings, because most times,
any emotion is going to changein about 90 seconds.
Isn't that amazing?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Isn't that?
That's how temporary it can be,but only if you let yourself
feel it.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Only if you say to yourself it's okay to be angry
right now, makes sense thatyou're angry, it's okay to be
sad, it's okay to be jealous.
I get to be jealous.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
So, when, kate, people start, when people, when
you observe people doing thiswork in ways that they've never
realized, because you know,there's a lot of oh, just
attract it.
Money's just energy.
I mean there's a lot of um and,look, I think that there's
truth in a lot of thosestatements and and there's magic
in it, um, I don't.
I mean, I do feel like thatit's not always complete, it's
not always a complete picture,you know, and I, and I do think
(26:39):
the best things are actuallysimple and what you, the way
that you explain it is simple tome, like there's an elegance
and simplicity to it, but Ithink that some things are a
little.
You know, money's just energyand if you're, I don't even I
don't even know what people say.
You know around the, the, themoney conversation, but when you
observe it in your world, withyour community, what do you see?
(27:00):
Like, what starts?
So is someone like afraid toopen that annex statement and
then they become able to.
I mean, it doesn't sounddramatic, but it is like that's
a dream.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Well, yeah, because if you think about how many
times is money a part of yourday All the time.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I swear every conversation I've been noticing
this more and more.
It's very hard to even have aconversation about a vacation
without talking about the priceof Hawaii, the price of Italy,
the price of this.
It's in everything, even thoughwe're talking about a family
getaway.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yes, it's in everything.
Money is part of our lives,like it or not, and so if you
have a shitty relationship withmoney, like you're going to have
a shitty day every day for yourwhole life in some ways.
Now, of course, I'm beinghyperbolic, but the thing is,
what I see is that when peoplefirst when my students learn to
(27:56):
first feel safe when engagingwith money, first of all they
have to learn that money isneutral.
Money is neutral.
Money is neither good or bad,it's just like fertilizer.
If you fertilize your gardenand you've got tomatoes and
lettuce and mint and then also abunch of weeds, everything will
grow.
Money is like that.
(28:17):
The fertilizer doesn't carewhat it's growing, it just grows
the plants.
The money does not care what itis doing, it's just growing.
Everything you put it on toterrible people grows that.
Put it on beautiful consciouspeople grows that right.
So my mission is let's get moremoney in the hands of beautiful
(28:39):
, conscious, loving people,because the more resources those
types of folks have, the betterthe world gets.
Okay, now I'm off track becausethen I got on my soapbox.
So, coming back, I agree withyou.
Coming back, when someone firstrealizes, first of all, money
is neutral.
Second of all, if I can learnto physically, on a nervous
(29:01):
system level, feel safe withmoney, then all of a sudden, all
of these tasks and behaviorsthat they've been avoiding for
decades that they couldn't getthemselves to do.
Whether it's about raising theirprices avoiding for decades
that they couldn't getthemselves to do.
Whether it's about raisingtheir prices and a woman in one
of my programs the other day sheraised her price, which she has
been knowing she needed to dofor three years.
(29:22):
She never did it and then in amonth she worked half the amount
of time because she had raisedher prices and she was, but she
didn't feel safe to receive thatamount of money for working
less before because she had awhole neural patterning going
around her worth and whether itwas okay to be well-rested,
(29:49):
relaxed and abundant at the sametime.
There's like a whole thing thathappens with our wiring and
identities around how much wework and therefore how valuable
we are as well, which is kind ofadjacent to the money thing.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And so when people work with you, they start
raising their prices.
They feel more.
I mean, I can imagine theconversations at the home
improving because we know whypeople.
The second biggest cause ofdivorce is, of course, you know,
money, after kids, and kids arethe number one cause of divorce
, apparently.
Yeah, damn, yeah, I think.
(30:25):
Yeah, wanting them, wantingmore of them, not wanting them
different child rearing stylesthat I can see how that could be
tricky, yeah yeah, but moneybeing number two.
I can imagine if it's like thiscause of you know, or this, this
subject at home that's justconstantly tense and you want to
avoid, massively avoidant.
Yeah, let's pretend the debtisn't racking up, pretend you
didn't just buy that, cause Ican't deal with it and the
(30:46):
secrecy the secrecy that tearsmarriages apart.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
because people are telling lies, because they're so
avoidant of the truth, becausethey aren't even feeling safe
enough to know their own truth,and so they're avoidant, they're
in vagueness, and then they'retelling lies and throwing stuff
under the rug.
I mean it will absolutelyimplode marriages.
But what I see is that peopleare telling me things like I'm
(31:11):
having a weekly money date withmy spouse and we're having the
hottest sex afterwards.
And it used to be that wecouldn't even talk about money
without having a massiveargument that would leave us not
talking for days.
So money is actually becoming asource of connection and
romance and spice in marriages.
(31:34):
I mean that's amazing.
And also people are starting tosave for retirement because now
they're on the same page.
They're paying off all theirdebt because now they're on the
same page.
I mean, if you think about it,in a couple, if both people are
rowing different directions,that boat is not going to go
anywhere.
But if you get on the same pagefinancially and now you have
(31:55):
two people rowing the samedirection, imagine how much
faster you'll get to your goals.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh my God.
And when you think about it,kate, don't you think that we
are just, we're sufferingunnecessarily?
Because the thing is, Iremember I spoke to this weight
loss coach once and she saidpeople won't get on the scale,
they don't even want to know howmuch they weigh and everyone do
.
You, you know, but she's likeyou do weigh something, so you
know there is a weight thatexists today, that's not fixed,
(32:23):
so why not just know it?
And it's like I feel like whynot just know?
Okay, we owe 25K in debt orwhatever, or 900 bucks.
Why not know it?
Why not?
There is such an ease to it,like there is a truth, ease,
beauty in this, because you knowwhat Susie Avoidance is?
Speaker 1 (32:41):
a massive energy suck .
Not knowing the truth will suckyour life force so fast and
make it so that you have brainfog, overwhelm, lack of
creativity.
You feel stuck in your business.
You still feel stuck in yourlife Because when we are not
(33:02):
clear about our money or reallyanything else, we are repulsive
to our desires.
But money loves clarity andclarity is magnetic.
But money loves clarity andclarity is magnetic.
So I absolutely the first stepI recommend people take is to
get clear on their numbers and,if you need to, you can call in
(33:30):
a buddy to help you, anunconditionally loving person
who will not judge you, who canjust sit there with you as you
do the math which, by the way,if you can do fourth grade math,
you can excel with money.
So nobody can like.
I promise you, if you'relistening to this, you have what
it takes to be great with money, and some of us just need some
(33:50):
support.
I did early on, early days, Iwas a massive financial avoider.
I was in, uh, tens of thousandsof dollars of credit card debt,
which at the time felt like sohuge because I only made $34,000
a year and and I never lookedat it.
I had creditors calling me.
I wouldn't call them back.
(34:10):
I would just like stuff all myfinancial mail in a drawer,
hoping that somehow it wouldjust magically my bills would
get paid.
That didn't work, made it worsethat didn't work.
That didn't work Made it worse.
Right, it's like.
It's like if you don't deal, ifyou don't clean a cut, it'll
get infected and it makes itworse.
So so the thing is that when Isat down I got somebody to help
(34:32):
me, a safe person who had adifferent nervous system set
point around money than I did.
That person already felt safewith money, so I essentially
borrowed her safe feelingnervous system and I
co-regulated with her becauseshe had enough of that for my
(34:54):
body to borrow it.
And then we did the numbers andI realized how much debt I was
in and it was way more than Ihad thought.
And I was horrified.
But I also felt free becauseall of the energy I had been
wasting on trying not to knowthe truth suddenly I had it all
back and I felt like a superhero.
(35:15):
I was like, oh, okay, great,now I know what's true so I can
do something about it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
And I know you've written a book.
I think this is like yourmission, kate right.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
This is my mission, Susie.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
This is the money, the what the heck it's almost
like.
Why isn't this headline newsevery day?
People need to figure out money.
I mean we I know yeah, but ohmy gosh, so-.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I need to start doing more pitches with your model by
the way.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
But when you think about it, kate, right, you think
about it with money, right?
Yes, there are all thefinancial apps.
Yes, there's all the financialadvice.
I mean there's Suzy Orman booksup the wazoo.
I mean the advice is there, butyou're speaking about the
foundational work that evenallows all of that stuff to
actually sink in.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Yes, because people cannot even understand a Suzy
Orman book or a David Bach, orthey cannot even comprehend if
they do not have availableresources in their nervous
system to make learningavailable.
(36:23):
Because even learning a newstrategy or a new skill takes
energy and you need the energyfreed up by dumping all the
previous stress, by learning howto regulate your nervous system
, so you free up this capacityand now you can learn a new
skill.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
It's like.
What comes to mind is as like ametaphor.
For me.
It's like imagine if there'slike a train that's going fast
but it's got weights on the backpulling it right and you're
going and you're pedaling andyou're like you're driving and
it's like, and so when yourelease that, oh, it's not as if
you need to do any really biggrand.
You know six week restrategy.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
It's like, oh, you suddenly start doing all the
behaviors that are aligned withthe identity of a financially
savvy person, because ouridentity is baked into our
nervous system and it is bakedinto our wiring.
When you redo the wiring, youjust start acting differently
and you didn't even have to tryand suddenly you'll find
(37:25):
yourself in like a salarynegotiation where previously you
would have been sweating andlike freaking out and muddled
words and and, and you'll justmarch in there, anddled words
and and, and you'll just marchin there and be confident and
clear and magnetic and you'llnail it and you'll walk out of
that room and be like I'mliterally a person I only ever
(37:45):
dreamed of being, and that justhappened without me having to
make a whole to do about it.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yeah, oh my, because you're dealing with the
neutrality of all things andyour conscious versus little you
showing up.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Versus little you, because you know I think you've
talked about internal familysystems parts work on your
podcast before yes.
Yeah.
So my theory is that all of ourparts, and like especially the
inner child parts, get baked into those neural patterns.
So like every one of thoseneural patterns is sort of like
(38:21):
where our parts live and as weheal our parts and tend to our
parts and tend to little Susieand little Katie at all these
different stages and scenarios,those patterns are able to
unlock and reform new adultconscious patterns, because
we've gone back in time, um sortof in our psyche to tend to
(38:44):
those past hurts and issues thatwe didn't have the capacity or
support to do in the past.
But we now, we now we do so wecan kind of close that loop and
it revives or makes availableall this current energy.
Similar to like when you have45 apps open on your phone, you
just need to close out the apps.
That's how I see nervous systemhealing work is.
(39:07):
Every time we go in and we do apractice, it closes out a tab
from the past and frees up ourcurrent bandwidth.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Do you think that it's like with the cleanup?
It's almost like when yourealize that a lie is a lie,
like the world is flat.
Right, that's what we used toeveryone the world is flat.
And they're like actually it'snot.
It's not like you even have anyattachment or you mourn, or
it's not like you're like ohwell, well, now we just know.
Now the reality is actuallyrevealed, and so it's not this
(39:39):
even, it's not this arduousexperience, but it does take the
like.
We have to apply ourselves tobe able to get to the truth.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yes, Right, so it's like A hundred percent.
But it doesn't have to be drama.
You just close out the tabs, doit every day.
And you mentioned compoundingbefore.
The beautiful thing there'slike dental hygiene, right, you
have to brush your teeth everyday, twice a day, and then also
floss, and that doesn't compound.
You have to do it the samenumber of times every day for
(40:08):
the rest of your life, which isjust exhausting, I do it is just
exhausting, I do it.
However, nervous system healingwork is compounding.
So when I do it today, I'mstarting at a new threshold
tomorrow and I love that becauseit mimics compounding interest
(40:29):
and so, compounding in yournervous system, compounding
interest, you're always buildingupon a larger, stronger
foundation, every deposit youmake.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
What a gorgeous cycle , right, it's like oh oh yeah, I
want in on that.
Life is so beautiful.
You mentioned a moment agobeing magnetic, you know, in the
instance of having a salarynegotiation and before we
started recording, you mentioneda bit about magnetics and I
just want to know a bit moreabout that.
Magnetics, money, I just thinkthe.
I think also, we say be amagnet, be a magnet.
(41:01):
I think it's misunderstoodsometimes.
So could you, could you justgive us a little something on
that, kate?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yeah, I mean there's so much here metaphysically and
scientifically, but basicallylike magnets either attract or
repel, and so, um, that's a goodthing to me.
Um.
Magnets, though, will repelwhat we want quote unquote want
(41:29):
when our insides are not a matchwith what we say.
It is that we desire.
Now, that's called alignment.
It's very related to integrity.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Yes, so it's like.
So it's like just say, I wantto move to Chicago, right, so
imagine that's my, but I reallydon't so can we like Well,
actually, so let me give anotherexample.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
So, or like, yes, same example, but like let me
unpack.
So I want to move to Chicago.
You consciously, yes, you wantto move to Chicago, right, but,
like in our unconscious, ourneural patterning may have
resistance and contraction tomoving to a new city and
(42:14):
expanding our horizons.
Because something happened tous growing up when there was a
move.
Maybe there was a move and ourparents got divorced.
Maybe with our ancestors therewas some kind of move that led
to devastation of some kind thatwe will never even know the
story, but it still lives in ourDNA of our nervous system.
I mean, it's wild, Susie.
So when.
I'm talking about alignment.
(42:36):
I'm actually talking on a deeper, physiological, energetic level
, where it's like actually thewiring in my body matches with
this desire and I know how tofeel safe as I expand.
That is what causes magnetismand then action real life
(42:59):
example.
So I've been dragging my asswriting this book proposal for a
year and a half.
I mean I stopped talking aboutit with my friends because I was
boring myself with how much Iwas not doing the thing I said I
wanted to do, right?
Yes, it's like embarrassing,okay, but listen to this, susie.
I have been taking consistent,deliberate action around this
(43:25):
book proposal.
Yesterday I get a message froma book agent, completely out of
the blue, and another messagefrom somebody very
well-connected in the literaryworld offering me support.
That happened because I finallygot worked through my
(43:46):
physiological resistance.
I started showing up at thepage.
I am making consistent, dailyinputs into my book proposal and
now I am magnetic because theuniverse will only meet us at
the level that we will meetourselves.
So I wasn't going to bemagnetizing all this support for
(44:07):
my book when I was doing shit.
I wasn't.
But I had a misalignmentbecause inside it did not feel
safe to expand that much.
So I had to work with my littleself to be like baby girl.
It's okay to go bigger, you'regoing to be okay.
It's actually even moreblissful and ecstatic over there
(44:32):
.
I know it feels safe to besmall, but I promise you you
will also be safe when you'rebigger.
And that's like a physiologicalpractice that I do you know,
similar to the lower back ribbreathing.
It's like a physiologicalpractice that I do you know,
similar to the lower back ribbreathing.
It's a little more complex thanthat, but like that's the gist.
And then I was able to frickingdo the book proposal.
And now I'm magnetic becausethe outside matches what is on
(44:56):
the inside.
The universe cannot not deliverwhat we are a match for.
The problem is we think that wemake ourselves a match with our
thoughts.
Our thoughts are such a small,infinitesimal percentage of our
energetic imprint.
They're like nothing.
(45:17):
They're like a.
Our energetic imprint is how wefeel, and how we feel is based
on our body, not exclusively onour mind.
Now, does our mind impact howwe feel?
Of course, and our body impactsour mind.
I mean, it's a dance, but mostof personal development leaves
(45:38):
out the body, and so I am reallyhere to speak on behalf of the
body and say let's include herbecause she's the powerhouse.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Hello, You're like, I know it's like the VIP, we're
leaving them outside.
It's like come on in.
So when it comes to your bookproposal, for example, it wasn't
just a matter of okay, you know, I'm going to overcome
resistance, here's my coffee,here's my cinnamon sticks.
I'm just going to write.
It wasn't like you're just likeokay, don't people use cinnamon
sticks and they need to beinspired.
I don't know, but I meansomeone said it once and I it's
(46:10):
always my like thought I need totry cinnamon.
Forget everything else.
A cinnamon does it.
I don't know, but when.
But when it wasn't just yousitting down, going okay, I'm
doing it.
You had to, because sometimes Ithink that action can help,
Like just that shift can help,like doing something.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Sometimes it really can, and I'm a big believer in
sometimes.
You just take action and therest of you will catch up.
However, what I find is that ifthere's something that I say I
want to do and I'm not doing it,it's because a part of me
doesn't feel safe to do it.
And so if I tend to that partthrough my nervous system,
through somatic practices, and Ijust let that part know like
(46:53):
hey, stand down, then I don'thave to overcome resistance
every day when I sit down at mycomputer.
So it's just like if I spend anhour or whatever 15 minutes
dealing with that a few days ina row, or like a few sessions
with my therapist or whatever,then it's like I don't have that
(47:14):
friction anymore.
It's gonzo, and so I can justsit down and fricking do the
thing.
So I would rather to me it'slike the one you know.
You know, the one thing, right,it's the one thing that makes
everything else easier orunnecessary is I don't want to
have to deal with resistanceevery day when I sit down to
write, I just want to freakingwrite.
So I just handle the resistancephysiologically and then I can
(47:36):
show up.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
And then these things start to happen that seem also
coincidental or so serendipitous, or some kismet, and you're
like I wonder what's beencleared here.
And it's hard because there'sno visual of it.
I always thought how could you,how could there be a visual of
all this happening behind thescenes?
But we don't even need it.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
We don't even need it , we can just celebrate the
magic.
But it's like the Goethe quoteright, when there is hesitancy,
when there is, when we, whatever, who's he, what's it?
But then once we commit,providence moves too and like
brings forth all of the matchesto our dreams.
That's not the quote, but youknow, we know we get it.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What an advantage, right, it'sa huge advantage.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
And it is so much easier, susie.
But it is so much easier, susie, it makes everything else so
much easier.
If you just learn to signalsafety in your body, then
everything becomes availablebecause everything can feel safe
Instead of having to like bustthrough your blocks.
(48:40):
Take massive action, feel thefear and do it anyway.
I'm like, or get, so you don'tfeel scared.
So then you just feel like arock star doing it.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
We know that feeling and that feeling is powerful,
right, when we have thosesensations of I can do it, like,
oh, this is possible, and ifjust that forward motion, it's
almost like this holy experience, I think.
And you know when, you know,when you're in it and and Kate's
the teacher, right, you sellthis by the bottle.
It's like, if only cause youimagine, but you don't even need
(49:11):
to because you can create ityourself.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
And what happens.
I mean, I won't get into all ofthe nerdy stuff, but there is
like a physiological cocktail ofdifferent hormone responses and
neurotransmitters.
All this really cool stuffhappens with dopamine and
serotonin and oxytocin.
It literally is a cocktail thatyou can make inside your body
(49:36):
like that, on demand, anytimeyou want, when you just learn
how.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
The miracle that we are right, the miracle of the
human experience, I mean.
So you have something veryexciting coming up, very, very
exciting.
Could you tell us a bit aboutit, what to expect and why we
need to be there?
Yes, if you don't already know,you need to be there.
My gosh, your life is tooexpensive If you are not there.
It is costing you.
I mean, think about how you canapply this so many things.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
Oh my gosh.
Thank you for that, susie.
It is so true.
It is so true.
So I am teaching a three-dayexperience about money magnetism
, and what you'll experienceover that three-day experience
is actually being able to doexactly what I said today, but
at a deeper level, which isclear the past stress, clear the
(50:30):
present stress, so that you canopen your capacity to feel new
feelings, think new thoughts,believe new things and behave in
new ways and activate yourmagnetism when it comes to money
.
So it is a workshop where I'llactually just walk you through
the experience of the theorythat we talked about today and
(50:55):
at the end of it, you will knowhow to magnetize more money on
demand through thatphysiological cocktail that I
just described.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Oh my, I mean what is more worthwhile than being
there and you walking us throughthis?
And, by the way, kate's a partylike you're, a fun teacher,
let's sit down and do some deepheavy it's like no, I know your
hip circles, baby.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
There will be music, there will be laughter.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
No.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I don't do heavy.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
No, you don't have to be heavy to heal things.
I know this.
So have to be heavy to healthings.
What a great book title, Susie,you should write that book.
Oh, maybe, Kate.
What a joy the link is going tobe included in the show notes.
My friends, I'll be there too.
Kate is a joy to learn from andthis is this is stuff that's new
(51:45):
.
I mean, this is different, Likein a world of advice, in a
world of do this, try this, gofor it, throw everything at your
success.
I always love to throweverything at it, but this is
different, and Kate is.
Her methods are unique and theywork, and I love being your
friend, I love having you in myworld and I'm still looking
(52:06):
forward to it.
Three days, money magnet let'sgo.
Thank you so much, hey, thankyou for having me See you at
money magnet until and untilnext time on the pod.
I'm sure there'll be a thirdtime.
So thank you so much, Kate.
Hey friend, I've got somethingreally cool for you.
(52:26):
I want to give you free accessto my signature course called
Slay your Year, which typicallysells for $997.
You can check it out all thedetails at slayyouryearcom.
All you have to do to getaccess is leave me a review.
Leave a review of this podcaston Apple Podcasts, take a
(52:46):
snapshot of it and send it toinfo at suzy dash more dot com.
That's info at suzy dash moredot com and we'll get you set up
with access.
Welcome.
To Let it Be Easy with SusieMoore.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Kate Northrup is a return guest to the podcast, and
you are going to see why today.
Look, kate's incredible.
She is a personal friend ofmine, she's wise, she's
brilliant.
And let me tell you somethingKate is a genius when it comes
to understanding how moneyaffects and impacts our nervous
(00:36):
system and what we need to doinside of us in order to welcome
abundance, welcome steadinessand allow money to be this
relaxed topic in our lives.
Sounds pretty great, doesn't it?
I have to kick off by sayingcheck out the link in the show
notes, my friend, because Kateis kicking off an incredibly
(01:00):
valuable series called Good WithMoney.
Who doesn't want to be goodwith money, can I say?
And it kicks off this month,april 2025.
So, oh my gosh, do not delay.
Sign up, register.
I will be there too.
It is magical.
And if you don't know Kate, sheis a bestselling author.
(01:23):
She is known for helping peoplelight up the world, doing work
that is deeply meaningful tothem without burning themselves
out.
She wrote Money, a Love Story.
She wrote Do Less.
She's in the media constantly.
She's wonderful.
I cannot speak more highly ofthis woman and I want to see you
at her workshop.
(01:43):
Good With Money.
I will be there.
It's so valuable and it's myjoy truly to give you this
interview today.
I give you the one and onlyKate Northrup.
Kate Northrup, one of myfavorite people in the entire
(02:04):
world, welcome back to the Letit Be Easy podcast.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I'm so honored to be back.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You are the very first return guest I've had.
Stop it right now, no way.
It's how much I love you.
It's how special and unique youare.
It's how much you have to share.
Welcome back.
Thanks, kate Northrup.
Okay, we are talking about abig topic today and one thing
(02:32):
that I want to share with you.
Having been a coach, nowfull-time for 10 years a decade
a little over now I can tell youthat, speaking about divorce,
sexuality, politics, religion,family all the things can bring
up tension and can bring upstuff within us, but nothing
quite like money.
(02:52):
Money, oh my God.
It gets hot, it gets crazy, itgets uncomfortable.
It's money is why.
What is going on with us, kate?
Why can't we have aconversation about money, money
that's calm and that's relaxed,where we don't feel judged or
judge others.
Why so much stuff around money?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
So many layers here.
The first one I'll just say isthat we have massively
over-coupled our worth with ourmoney.
Our worth, inherent worth, as ahuman being has nothing to do
with how much we make.
It has nothing to do with howmuch debt we're in.
It has nothing to do with howmuch we earn.
We are infinitely worthy ashuman beings.
(03:36):
We were born that way, we willdie that way.
And yet we've been conditionedto believe, consciously or
unconsciously, or a little bitof both, that our financial
status is our actual status as ahuman being.
Like is our worthiness.
(03:57):
And it's just not true.
And when we can uncouple thosetwo things, we find quite a bit
of freedom.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
This can be tricky, I'm sure, because the world will
tell you, the world will rewardyou your new car, your bigger
house, your Sicily yacht,whatever it may be that you're
purchasing things that wepossess, experiences we have.
Do you think that it's possibleto have an understanding of our
inherent worth and still have ahealthy relationship with money
(04:31):
that allows us to attract moreand more?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yes, and actually what's so cool is that the
deeper we feel our inherentworth, the more connected to
source we are with a capital Sto our divine inherent worth and
value, the easier the moneygame becomes for many people.
Now I also want to be superclear.
(04:54):
There are plenty of people whohave gobs of money, who don't
have high self-worth.
So I'm not saying thatincreasing your that that
everybody with money has highself-worth.
But for those who do not, whodo have a tricky relationship
with money, improving yourrelationship with self and your
connection to your inherent,infinite value will make it
(05:17):
easier to make money, becausemoney is also a pretend system
that humans made up to tradevalue for value, meaning what I
think matters, for what youthink matters, which is a deeply
subjective topic and alsocompletely emotional.
And so that's also why money issuch an emotional topic,
(05:38):
because it is a stand-in for forwhat matters to us, and what
matters to us is based on ouremotions.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
When you talk about our relationship with Source
capital S, I know that when Ifeel most connected to myself
and aligned with myself andreally myself, I get good ideas.
I know what's for me, I knowwhat's not for me.
Maybe I've even oversimplifiedit because you know how I grew
up with very, very little in thematerial, but money felt to me
(06:12):
along the way, still does.
It feels available.
I don't know.
It's almost like a hard thingto describe because I grew up
with some funny money beliefs.
Right, like rich people arecrooks.
You can't trust anybody.
Oh, uh, if you have anythingfrom the hotel minibar not that
we stayed in hotels, but even asan adult now I'm like I can't
(06:35):
afford the peanut.
I mean there are some weird.
It's funny because I know thatthere are some things that we
can unlearn, but they feel deep.
And yet the journey to creatinga better relationship with
money is it all or nothing?
Can there be some gray areas,like I have?
I mean, how do you see it?
How do you see it on thejourney?
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Well, to me, we live in an infinite universe.
That's just scientifically afact, and so everything in the
universe is therefore infiniteon some level, including our
capacity to experience healthy,relaxed abundance.
So we can improve ourrelationship with money by 5%
(07:19):
and still have 95% stuff in thebackground.
We can improve it by 95% andstill have 5%.
And the the differing, you knowkind of beliefs do not cancel
each other out.
I firmly believe that two thingscan be true at the same time
(07:39):
and two things can feel true atthe same time, and we can
actually hold them both, andneither needs to cancel each
other out.
And actually our ability tohold nuance and to feel
dichotomy and duality enhancesour power as opposed to detracts
.
To me, a profound level ofwisdom is when one can hold the
(08:04):
gray area and see a lot ofdifferent angles around the same
thing, and so I don't thinkit's all or nothing at all.
I don't think you reach amoment where you're like, oh now
, my relationship with money isas healthy as it can be, it's
perfect, Very similar to yourphysical health, right?
There's always something wecould be tweaking or enhancing.
(08:26):
No matter how amazing we feel,we can always feel better.
And what else are we doing inthis lifetime if not expanding
our capacity to feel?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
good.
Okay, so feeling good is partof it, right've you shared with
me the analogy before aboutrewiring, about how, when it
comes to really just transmutingsomething and being able to, I
think, being able to understandyourself more deeply and and do
(08:57):
some deep, foundational work?
Could you explain that Cause Ithought it was so good when you
shared it with me and I was like, oh because, like I said, I
think with money, cause there'sso much stuff when we even bring
it up, there's a shutdown,there's a there's got to leave
this conversation redirect, likethere is something that happens
.
It makes us nervous.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, and you just shared in from your own
upbringing that money was maybea cause of stress Like that when
conversations around money cameup, would you say it was?
It felt stressful andcontracted.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, I mean violent, I meanit's money.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Violent even Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
There's not enough.
There's not enough.
And is it for alcohol, or is itfor electricity?
And, oh my gosh, like the Fearviolence, contraction, lack of
safety.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yes, so for everybody I have ever talked to, they
have some version ofconstriction and contraction and
fear and stress patterns thatthey built into their system.
Our bodies are developing whenwe're children, and one of the
(10:02):
systems that's developing is thenervous system, and the nervous
system is responsible for ouremotions, our thoughts, our
beliefs and our behavior, butit's largely unconscious.
All of the patterning, all ofthe wiring, as you said.
So our nervous system isessentially the electrical of
our body.
(10:23):
If our body were a house, thenervous system would be the
electrical, and so when we havea stimulus conversation about
money, our body remembers theprior experiences with that
stimulus because our body iswired for survival.
(10:44):
It's doing a wonderful jobkeeping us alive, and so for
someone who's not done work toupdate their wiring, there will
be stimulus conversation aboutmoney and then a subsequent
neural pattern response that iscompletely automatic and
unconscious and for most of usit is a stress pattern, Like
(11:09):
money triggers a threat becauseof the association from our past
that's wired into our bodies.
Now, what's tricky about thatis that most of us desire a
level of financial wellbeingthat we did not experience
(11:30):
before.
Right, that wasn't available inour childhood that maybe nobody
else in our lineage has everexperienced.
Right, we may be the first, butour body is associating
anything new, or even just aconversation about money, as a
threat and it shuts down andwhat it'll cause is resistance.
(11:54):
Because updating the wiring,whether it's in a house or in a
body, is expensive.
You got to hire an electrician.
You got to pull out the walls.
You got to figure out what'sgoing on in there.
You got to redo the drywall.
It's like a whole thing In ourbodies.
It is the same thing.
Redoing neural patterns isenergetically expensive and our
(12:16):
body doesn't want to spend theenergy because our body is
trying to conserve all of theenergy for basic, basic survival
, basic survival.
Then add to it if you're in atime in your life where you have
an excessive amount of stressmaybe you've just had a baby,
you've just gone through adivorce, you've just moved,
(12:37):
you've experienced a loss ofsome kind, you've changed a job,
something like that your stressthreat bucket is extra full and
your body will be likeabsolutely not.
I am completely unavailable fortransformation, because
transformation requires newneural pattern and new neural
(12:58):
patterning.
Updating the electric isextremely expensive.
I don't have the energeticresources for it, and so that's
kind of like the problem, and ofcourse, I'm happy to talk about
the solution, but that's wherethe wiring comes in.
That's why a huge extent of ourbehavior around money is
completely unconscious and wemay know like of course you need
(13:19):
to spend less than you make.
Of course you need to be saving.
Of course you shouldn't beracking up credit card debt Like
duh.
Yes, why are millions andmillions of Americans and people
globally I mean, we have adifferent relationship with debt
in this country but why is thissuch an issue?
(13:40):
It's the very same thing.
It's like people know theyshouldn't eat a sleeve of Oreos
if they want to lose weight.
They know they need to movetheir bodies.
Sleeve of Oreos if they want tolose weight, they know they
need to move their bodies.
Why can they not do it?
Because our behavior isembedded in our unconscious, and
our unconscious, which is wiredinto our nervous system, will
always supersede our consciousthought.
We cannot think our way out ofold wiring.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
I love how you say the word expensive.
Not only is it relevant andfunny to this situation, but
it's pretty expensive not to dothis right.
It's taxing on the body athousand percent, like rewiring
a house, but the cost of notlike the cost.
So, for example, when you saythere's like a trigger, so just
say I meet up with somebody andher and I having a martini, and
(14:25):
she drops a huge number that shemade or that she's got in,
she's invested in Apple or Idon't know whatever.
Or she bought an investmentproperty that was like 5 million
bucks in front, I don't knowwhatever it is.
And I'm like, oh, I thought Iwas doing quite well over here.
Like, oh, I thought I was, Ithought I was doing, I thought I
was like a thumbs up.
And then I have a thoughtlittle Susie doesn't have
(14:47):
anything.
There's not enough food for,there's not enough, so so for me
to even have that, it does feellike almost like a heat in the
body or something.
Yes, like for a second until itwon't stay with me forever, but
it's there and I'm like aha,interesting, Like so could you
speak to?
Even just it doesn't have to beeven as dramatic as that, but
(15:08):
you see, you, just, it doesn'thave to be even as dramatic as
that.
But you see, you know yourneighbor gets a newer car or
your kid's going to a more eliteschool or something like that.
Like, how does the rewiring?
How could we almost talk itthrough in that, in just a real
life example like that.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Okay, I love it.
So in the example with yourfriend, let's say your friend
says she just got like amultiple six figure book deal
and you desire a multiple sixfigure book deal as well and you
haven't gotten one yet.
And what happens in your bodyis that there is an instant
(15:42):
neural trigger that says that'snew, therefore unfamiliar.
Says that's new, thereforeunfamiliar, therefore unsafe.
Now that neural patterning,which is like a whole bunch of
neurons that fire together,actually creates a series of
sensations in your body.
It happens so fast we have totrain ourselves to pay attention
(16:05):
to it.
But that series of sensationswe call an emotion, and so that
emotion may be jealousy, it maybe anxiety, it may be irritation
.
There's like a lot of differentemotions that we could feel, but
all an emotion is is a physicalsensation.
You, you can't feel an emotionwithout a body bodyotions, the
(16:29):
recent if anybody's listeningwho's a parent?
And you saw Inside Out 2, Iloved it.
However, I was annoyed and Iwant to take it up with Pixar,
because it is perpetuating themisunderstanding that emotions
(16:49):
happen in the brain exclusively.
Emotions do not happen in thebrain exclusively.
They signal the brain based ona sensation that is happening in
your body.
And so you're sitting there atthe bar and she's got the book
deal and you're now having anemotion which is a physical
(17:10):
sensation, and then that emotiontriggers a thought.
The thought is, oh, I don't, Idon't have that, I'm not good
enough, or she's bragging or any, or oh no, she just slept with
the publisher right Like anynumber.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Mine is like I'm never seeing this girl ever
again.
Any number of thoughts.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Now, all of that happens so fast that what we
think happens is that somebodysays something and we think a
thought, but there's aphysiological experience that
happens in the in-between, thatis body-based.
Now then you have a thought andthat repeated thought of course
creates a belief which iseither, like you know, rich
(17:57):
people are so bitchy or I'm notgood enough, or you know, and
then you have behavior thatcomes from emotions, thoughts,
beliefs, and then we have abehavior which is whatever.
What's a behavior that could befrom this interaction.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Like pettiness, like wanting to one-up in another way
.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Yeah, or like maybe your behavior is like you go
then bad mouth that person toanother person who turns out to
know another publisher, and nowthey know that you talk behind
people's back so you're notgoing to get that book deal
Right.
So, like then we end up with areality which is not what we
want, because the realitycontinues to match what our
(18:40):
nervous system feels is safe,which is not having the multiple
six figure book deal.
Our nervous system is alwaystrying to keep us in a narrow
band of what we have experiencedbefore, aka what is safe.
So how do we then interruptthis cycle so that we can
experience all our dreams anddesires, which are largely
(19:02):
things we've never experiencedbefore, therefore things that
our nervous system thinks are athreat.
Well, therefore, things thatour nervous system thinks are a
threat.
Well, in that moment at the bar,when your friend is like
talking about her multiple sixfigure book deal, that's the
(19:23):
time to signal to your body thatit is safe.
What you want to do is have afew strategies, and this is just
, this is like the acute.
And then there's ways you canbuild in practices every day to
kind of compound your nervoussystem health.
But this is just, this is likethe acute.
And then there's ways you canbuild in practices every day to
kind of compound your nervoussystem health.
But this is an acute scenario.
So in an acute scenario, if Iwere in that situation and I was
noticing my little stinkingthinking like, right, yes,
that's how you know you're innervous system resistance and we
(19:45):
don't, my method is not to talkourselves out of it, because we
can't fix a physical problem onthe level of the mind alone,
but instead feel our way throughit.
So you can do something in thatmoment that signals to your
body you are safe.
And then, if you wanna even bemore advanced, you can tap into
the fact that your body hasthese really cool things called
(20:08):
mirror neurons and your bodydoes not believe the lie of
separation that says if she'shaving multiple six figure book
deal, then I can't have that.
That's the lie of separationpaired with the zero sum model.
The lie of separation feeds thezero sum model right.
Instead, our bodies know thetruth, which is we are all one.
(20:30):
Unity is actually what's real.
And what's actually realeconomically speaking, quite
frankly, is that when one womanbreaks that ceiling and gets a
multiple six-figure book deal,she actually has instantly made
more multiple six-figure bookdeals available to more people,
especially for the girlfriendwho's sitting at the bar with
(20:51):
her Exactly Drinking a martini,because they're already friends
and they're already in the samesphere.
And so what we can do is we cando something to signal safety.
And I'll give you an example,please, really simple you can
breathe into your lower backribs.
I like that, that technique,because, um, you can do it
(21:13):
anytime and no one knows.
You're like trying to calm downyour nervous system.
Right, so, just right now, youand I can take our next breath.
You just take it intentionallyinto your lower back ribs, which
is quite a bit further thanyou'd think, like bring your
hands back there and feel allthe way down, like it's at your
waist, so sending your breaththere.
(21:35):
You know you can do three tofive breaths if you're doing
this intentionally, but ifyou're in a conversation, you
just do it when you breathe whenthe other person is talking, so
that instantly tells your bodyhey, sweetie, you're safe.
And then it also makesavailable the rest digest, tend
(21:58):
and befriend state of yournervous system, wherein you are
more present, you are moreavailable, you're more creative,
you're a better criticalthinker, you're more magnetic
and your mirror neurons are moreavailable.
You're more creative, you're abetter critical thinker, you're
more magnetic and your mirrorneurons are more available to
fire and be like oh, the factthat this is happening for her
(22:19):
is proof that I can have it too.
And there's a level ofconsciousness and of actual
experience you can tap into inthat moment where her having it
tells your body that your bodyis having it too.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's like a magic trick.
It's a magic trick.
It's like a magic trick.
And you know what's sointeresting, kate, which is why
I love that you do the work thatyou do.
There is so much shame aroundthis.
Imagine if I had thatconversation oh, someone just
got this 500k deal.
Who am I going to say I'm nothappy about that?
Who am I going to tell?
Who am I going to go?
Oh, that bitch.
Like.
(22:56):
Oh, what the hell is going on?
Oh, the world's fucked.
Like who am I going to go tell?
I'd be too embarrassed, right.
I'd have this feeling of I'vegot to hide it.
I mean, don't you find thatwe're not having these
conversations?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
No, we're not having these conversations and when we
have shame about something andwe think a response that we're
having or a reaction we'rehaving is bad or that we're bad,
we actually store that frictionaway in our nervous system and
it increases how tightly woundwe are and it makes us less
(23:31):
available to be in a regulatednervous system.
Response where we're fullypresent, fully magnetic, fully
ourselves, fully connected tosource Repression and
suppression and shame actuallyjack up our nervous system more.
But feeling our feelings andtelling the truth frees us, yeah
(23:53):
.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
It's like the opposite, compounding and the
negative.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yes, it's a negative compounding for sure, and can
you?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
I would say the majority of people go through
life this way, with and againit's, it's.
It's not even our fault, likeit's just like a lack of
awareness and lack of it's inthe water and it's the way our.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
you know, I have two little girls.
They're eight and the other onewill be nine this week, and I
mean they're six.
Oh my God, who are?
Who am I?
I don't even know who these?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
kids are.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Six and nine, and one of the things that I'll say to
my kids like, let's say, one ofthem is mad at the other one and
screams and like throwssomething at the other kid I'll
say, listen, it is okay to beangry, you get to feel angry, I
get why you would feel angry,like it is okay to feel angry,
(24:40):
and here are the appropriate,safe ways that you can express
that anger.
I'm like, instead of throwingsomething at your sister or
hitting her, what you can do isyou can yell into a pillow, you
can throw a stuffed animal atthe wall, you can stomp around.
There's like all these options.
So what happens for most of usis growing up our emotions.
(25:04):
We were told that our emotionswere wrong and that they were a
problem, they were inconvenientand that there was something
wrong with us, but actually it'sa completely normal, natural
response and unfortunately, whenwe stuff them down, it causes a
tremendous backlog of stress.
(25:26):
That makes it so that when weare trying to change our
thoughts, beliefs and behavior,our body's like hell.
No, I have no resources right,but we, as you pointed out, it
is way too expensive not tochange those things, in fact,
and so we need to learn tosignal to our bodies that we're
(25:49):
safe, and one of the things thatwe can do is actually give
ourselves permission to feel ourfeelings, because most times,
any emotion is going to changein about 90 seconds.
Isn't that amazing?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Isn't that?
That's how temporary it can be,but only if you let yourself
feel it.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Only if you say to yourself it's okay to be angry
right now, makes sense thatyou're angry, it's okay to be
sad, it's okay to be jealous.
I get to be jealous.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
So, when, kate, people start, when people, when
you observe people doing thiswork in ways that they've never
realized, because you know,there's a lot of oh, just
attract it.
Money's just energy.
I mean there's a lot of um and,look, I think that there's
truth in a lot of thosestatements and and there's magic
in it, um, I don't.
I mean, I do feel like thatit's not always complete, it's
not always a complete picture,you know, and I, and I do think
(26:39):
the best things are actuallysimple and what you, the way
that you explain it is simple tome, like there's an elegance
and simplicity to it, but Ithink that some things are a
little.
You know, money's just energyand if you're, I don't even I
don't even know what people say.
You know around the, the, themoney conversation, but when you
observe it in your world, withyour community, what do you see?
(27:00):
Like, what starts?
So is someone like afraid toopen that annex statement and
then they become able to.
I mean, it doesn't sounddramatic, but it is like that's
a dream.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Well, yeah, because if you think about how many
times is money a part of yourday All the time.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
I swear every conversation I've been noticing
this more and more.
It's very hard to even have aconversation about a vacation
without talking about the priceof Hawaii, the price of Italy,
the price of this.
It's in everything, even thoughwe're talking about a family
getaway.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Yes, it's in everything.
Money is part of our lives,like it or not, and so if you
have a shitty relationship withmoney, like you're going to have
a shitty day every day for yourwhole life in some ways.
Now, of course, I'm beinghyperbolic, but the thing is,
what I see is that when peoplefirst when my students learn to
(27:56):
first feel safe when engagingwith money, first of all they
have to learn that money isneutral.
Money is neutral.
Money is neither good or bad,it's just like fertilizer.
If you fertilize your gardenand you've got tomatoes and
lettuce and mint and then also abunch of weeds, everything will
grow.
Money is like that.
(28:17):
The fertilizer doesn't carewhat it's growing, it just grows
the plants.
The money does not care what itis doing, it's just growing.
Everything you put it on toterrible people grows that.
Put it on beautiful consciouspeople grows that right.
So my mission is let's get moremoney in the hands of beautiful
(28:39):
, conscious, loving people,because the more resources those
types of folks have, the betterthe world gets.
Okay, now I'm off track becausethen I got on my soapbox.
So, coming back, I agree withyou.
Coming back, when someone firstrealizes, first of all, money
is neutral.
Second of all, if I can learnto physically, on a nervous
(29:01):
system level, feel safe withmoney, then all of a sudden, all
of these tasks and behaviorsthat they've been avoiding for
decades that they couldn't getthemselves to do.
Whether it's about raising theirprices avoiding for decades
that they couldn't getthemselves to do.
Whether it's about raisingtheir prices and a woman in one
of my programs the other day sheraised her price, which she has
been knowing she needed to dofor three years.
(29:22):
She never did it and then in amonth she worked half the amount
of time because she had raisedher prices and she was, but she
didn't feel safe to receive thatamount of money for working
less before because she had awhole neural patterning going
around her worth and whether itwas okay to be well-rested,
(29:49):
relaxed and abundant at the sametime.
There's like a whole thing thathappens with our wiring and
identities around how much wework and therefore how valuable
we are as well, which is kind ofadjacent to the money thing.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And so when people work with you, they start
raising their prices.
They feel more.
I mean, I can imagine theconversations at the home
improving because we know whypeople.
The second biggest cause ofdivorce is, of course, you know,
money, after kids, and kids arethe number one cause of divorce
, apparently.
Yeah, damn, yeah, I think.
(30:25):
Yeah, wanting them, wantingmore of them, not wanting them
different child rearing stylesthat I can see how that could be
tricky, yeah yeah, but moneybeing number two.
I can imagine if it's like thiscause of you know, or this, this
subject at home that's justconstantly tense and you want to
avoid, massively avoidant.
Yeah, let's pretend the debtisn't racking up, pretend you
didn't just buy that, cause Ican't deal with it and the
(30:46):
secrecy the secrecy that tearsmarriages apart.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
because people are telling lies, because they're so
avoidant of the truth, becausethey aren't even feeling safe
enough to know their own truth,and so they're avoidant, they're
in vagueness, and then they'retelling lies and throwing stuff
under the rug.
I mean it will absolutelyimplode marriages.
But what I see is that peopleare telling me things like I'm
(31:11):
having a weekly money date withmy spouse and we're having the
hottest sex afterwards.
And it used to be that wecouldn't even talk about money
without having a massiveargument that would leave us not
talking for days.
So money is actually becoming asource of connection and
romance and spice in marriages.
(31:34):
I mean that's amazing.
And also people are starting tosave for retirement because now
they're on the same page.
They're paying off all theirdebt because now they're on the
same page.
I mean, if you think about it,in a couple, if both people are
rowing different directions,that boat is not going to go
anywhere.
But if you get on the same pagefinancially and now you have
(31:55):
two people rowing the samedirection, imagine how much
faster you'll get to your goals.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Oh my God.
And when you think about it,kate, don't you think that we
are just, we're sufferingunnecessarily?
Because the thing is, Iremember I spoke to this weight
loss coach once and she saidpeople won't get on the scale,
they don't even want to know howmuch they weigh and everyone do
.
You, you know, but she's likeyou do weigh something, so you
know there is a weight thatexists today, that's not fixed,
(32:23):
so why not just know it?
And it's like I feel like whynot just know?
Okay, we owe 25K in debt orwhatever, or 900 bucks.
Why not know it?
Why not?
There is such an ease to it,like there is a truth, ease,
beauty in this, because you knowwhat Susie Avoidance is?
Speaker 1 (32:41):
a massive energy suck .
Not knowing the truth will suckyour life force so fast and
make it so that you have brainfog, overwhelm, lack of
creativity.
You feel stuck in your business.
You still feel stuck in yourlife Because when we are not
(33:02):
clear about our money or reallyanything else, we are repulsive
to our desires.
But money loves clarity andclarity is magnetic.
But money loves clarity andclarity is magnetic.
So I absolutely the first stepI recommend people take is to
get clear on their numbers and,if you need to, you can call in
(33:30):
a buddy to help you, anunconditionally loving person
who will not judge you, who canjust sit there with you as you
do the math which, by the way,if you can do fourth grade math,
you can excel with money.
So nobody can like.
I promise you, if you'relistening to this, you have what
it takes to be great with money, and some of us just need some
(33:50):
support.
I did early on, early days, Iwas a massive financial avoider.
I was in, uh, tens of thousandsof dollars of credit card debt,
which at the time felt like sohuge because I only made $34,000
a year and and I never lookedat it.
I had creditors calling me.
I wouldn't call them back.
(34:10):
I would just like stuff all myfinancial mail in a drawer,
hoping that somehow it wouldjust magically my bills would
get paid.
That didn't work, made it worsethat didn't work.
That didn't work Made it worse.
Right, it's like.
It's like if you don't deal, ifyou don't clean a cut, it'll
get infected and it makes itworse.
So so the thing is that when Isat down I got somebody to help
(34:32):
me, a safe person who had adifferent nervous system set
point around money than I did.
That person already felt safewith money, so I essentially
borrowed her safe feelingnervous system and I
co-regulated with her becauseshe had enough of that for my
(34:54):
body to borrow it.
And then we did the numbers andI realized how much debt I was
in and it was way more than Ihad thought.
And I was horrified.
But I also felt free becauseall of the energy I had been
wasting on trying not to knowthe truth suddenly I had it all
back and I felt like a superhero.
(35:15):
I was like, oh, okay, great,now I know what's true so I can
do something about it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
And I know you've written a book.
I think this is like yourmission, kate right.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
This is my mission, Susie.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
This is the money, the what the heck it's almost
like.
Why isn't this headline newsevery day?
People need to figure out money.
I mean we I know yeah, but ohmy gosh, so-.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I need to start doing more pitches with your model by
the way.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
But when you think about it, kate, right, you think
about it with money, right?
Yes, there are all thefinancial apps.
Yes, there's all the financialadvice.
I mean there's Suzy Orman booksup the wazoo.
I mean the advice is there, butyou're speaking about the
foundational work that evenallows all of that stuff to
actually sink in.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Yes, because people cannot even understand a Suzy
Orman book or a David Bach, orthey cannot even comprehend if
they do not have availableresources in their nervous
system to make learningavailable.
(36:23):
Because even learning a newstrategy or a new skill takes
energy and you need the energyfreed up by dumping all the
previous stress, by learning howto regulate your nervous system
, so you free up this capacityand now you can learn a new
skill.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
It's like.
What comes to mind is as like ametaphor.
For me.
It's like imagine if there'slike a train that's going fast
but it's got weights on the backpulling it right and you're
going and you're pedaling andyou're like you're driving and
it's like, and so when yourelease that, oh, it's not as if
you need to do any really biggrand.
You know six week restrategy.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
It's like, oh, you suddenly start doing all the
behaviors that are aligned withthe identity of a financially
savvy person, because ouridentity is baked into our
nervous system and it is bakedinto our wiring.
When you redo the wiring, youjust start acting differently
and you didn't even have to tryand suddenly you'll find
(37:25):
yourself in like a salarynegotiation where previously you
would have been sweating andlike freaking out and muddled
words and and, and you'll justmarch in there, anddled words
and and, and you'll just marchin there and be confident and
clear and magnetic and you'llnail it and you'll walk out of
that room and be like I'mliterally a person I only ever
(37:45):
dreamed of being, and that justhappened without me having to
make a whole to do about it.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yeah, oh my, because you're dealing with the
neutrality of all things andyour conscious versus little you
showing up.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Versus little you, because you know I think you've
talked about internal familysystems parts work on your
podcast before yes.
Yeah.
So my theory is that all of ourparts, and like especially the
inner child parts, get baked into those neural patterns.
So like every one of thoseneural patterns is sort of like
(38:21):
where our parts live and as weheal our parts and tend to our
parts and tend to little Susieand little Katie at all these
different stages and scenarios,those patterns are able to
unlock and reform new adultconscious patterns, because
we've gone back in time, um sortof in our psyche to tend to
(38:44):
those past hurts and issues thatwe didn't have the capacity or
support to do in the past.
But we now, we now we do so wecan kind of close that loop and
it revives or makes availableall this current energy.
Similar to like when you have45 apps open on your phone, you
just need to close out the apps.
That's how I see nervous systemhealing work is.
(39:07):
Every time we go in and we do apractice, it closes out a tab
from the past and frees up ourcurrent bandwidth.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Do you think that it's like with the cleanup?
It's almost like when yourealize that a lie is a lie,
like the world is flat.
Right, that's what we used toeveryone the world is flat.
And they're like actually it'snot.
It's not like you even have anyattachment or you mourn, or
it's not like you're like ohwell, well, now we just know.
Now the reality is actuallyrevealed, and so it's not this
(39:39):
even, it's not this arduousexperience, but it does take the
like.
We have to apply ourselves tobe able to get to the truth.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yes, Right, so it's like A hundred percent.
But it doesn't have to be drama.
You just close out the tabs, doit every day.
And you mentioned compoundingbefore.
The beautiful thing there'slike dental hygiene, right, you
have to brush your teeth everyday, twice a day, and then also
floss, and that doesn't compound.
You have to do it the samenumber of times every day for
(40:08):
the rest of your life, which isjust exhausting, I do it is just
exhausting, I do it.
However, nervous system healingwork is compounding.
So when I do it today, I'mstarting at a new threshold
tomorrow and I love that becauseit mimics compounding interest
(40:29):
and so, compounding in yournervous system, compounding
interest, you're always buildingupon a larger, stronger
foundation, every deposit youmake.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
What a gorgeous cycle , right, it's like oh oh yeah, I
want in on that.
Life is so beautiful.
You mentioned a moment agobeing magnetic, you know, in the
instance of having a salarynegotiation and before we
started recording, you mentioneda bit about magnetics and I
just want to know a bit moreabout that.
Magnetics, money, I just thinkthe.
I think also, we say be amagnet, be a magnet.
(41:01):
I think it's misunderstoodsometimes.
So could you, could you justgive us a little something on
that, kate?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Yeah, I mean there's so much here metaphysically and
scientifically, but basicallylike magnets either attract or
repel, and so, um, that's a goodthing to me.
Um.
Magnets, though, will repelwhat we want quote unquote want
(41:29):
when our insides are not a matchwith what we say.
It is that we desire.
Now, that's called alignment.
It's very related to integrity.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Yes, so it's like.
So it's like just say, I wantto move to Chicago, right, so
imagine that's my, but I reallydon't so can we like Well,
actually, so let me give anotherexample.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
So, or like, yes, same example, but like let me
unpack.
So I want to move to Chicago.
You consciously, yes, you wantto move to Chicago, right, but,
like in our unconscious, ourneural patterning may have
resistance and contraction tomoving to a new city and
(42:14):
expanding our horizons.
Because something happened tous growing up when there was a
move.
Maybe there was a move and ourparents got divorced.
Maybe with our ancestors therewas some kind of move that led
to devastation of some kind thatwe will never even know the
story, but it still lives in ourDNA of our nervous system.
I mean, it's wild, Susie.
So when.
I'm talking about alignment.
(42:36):
I'm actually talking on a deeper, physiological, energetic level
, where it's like actually thewiring in my body matches with
this desire and I know how tofeel safe as I expand.
That is what causes magnetismand then action real life
(42:59):
example.
So I've been dragging my asswriting this book proposal for a
year and a half.
I mean I stopped talking aboutit with my friends because I was
boring myself with how much Iwas not doing the thing I said I
wanted to do, right?
Yes, it's like embarrassing,okay, but listen to this, susie.
I have been taking consistent,deliberate action around this
(43:25):
book proposal.
Yesterday I get a message froma book agent, completely out of
the blue, and another messagefrom somebody very
well-connected in the literaryworld offering me support.
That happened because I finallygot worked through my
(43:46):
physiological resistance.
I started showing up at thepage.
I am making consistent, dailyinputs into my book proposal and
now I am magnetic because theuniverse will only meet us at
the level that we will meetourselves.
So I wasn't going to bemagnetizing all this support for
(44:07):
my book when I was doing shit.
I wasn't.
But I had a misalignmentbecause inside it did not feel
safe to expand that much.
So I had to work with my littleself to be like baby girl.
It's okay to go bigger, you'regoing to be okay.
It's actually even moreblissful and ecstatic over there
(44:32):
.
I know it feels safe to besmall, but I promise you you
will also be safe when you'rebigger.
And that's like a physiologicalpractice that I do you know,
similar to the lower back ribbreathing.
It's like a physiologicalpractice that I do you know,
similar to the lower back ribbreathing.
It's a little more complex thanthat, but like that's the gist.
And then I was able to frickingdo the book proposal.
And now I'm magnetic becausethe outside matches what is on
(44:56):
the inside.
The universe cannot not deliverwhat we are a match for.
The problem is we think that wemake ourselves a match with our
thoughts.
Our thoughts are such a small,infinitesimal percentage of our
energetic imprint.
They're like nothing.
(45:17):
They're like a.
Our energetic imprint is how wefeel, and how we feel is based
on our body, not exclusively onour mind.
Now, does our mind impact howwe feel?
Of course, and our body impactsour mind.
I mean, it's a dance, but mostof personal development leaves
(45:38):
out the body, and so I am reallyhere to speak on behalf of the
body and say let's include herbecause she's the powerhouse.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Hello, You're like, I know it's like the VIP, we're
leaving them outside.
It's like come on in.
So when it comes to your bookproposal, for example, it wasn't
just a matter of okay, you know, I'm going to overcome
resistance, here's my coffee,here's my cinnamon sticks.
I'm just going to write.
It wasn't like you're just likeokay, don't people use cinnamon
sticks and they need to beinspired.
I don't know, but I meansomeone said it once and I it's
(46:10):
always my like thought I need totry cinnamon.
Forget everything else.
A cinnamon does it.
I don't know, but when.
But when it wasn't just yousitting down, going okay, I'm
doing it.
You had to, because sometimes Ithink that action can help,
Like just that shift can help,like doing something.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Sometimes it really can, and I'm a big believer in
sometimes.
You just take action and therest of you will catch up.
However, what I find is that ifthere's something that I say I
want to do and I'm not doing it,it's because a part of me
doesn't feel safe to do it.
And so if I tend to that partthrough my nervous system,
through somatic practices, and Ijust let that part know like
(46:53):
hey, stand down, then I don'thave to overcome resistance
every day when I sit down at mycomputer.
So it's just like if I spend anhour or whatever 15 minutes
dealing with that a few days ina row, or like a few sessions
with my therapist or whatever,then it's like I don't have that
(47:14):
friction anymore.
It's gonzo, and so I can justsit down and fricking do the
thing.
So I would rather to me it'slike the one you know.
You know, the one thing, right,it's the one thing that makes
everything else easier orunnecessary is I don't want to
have to deal with resistanceevery day when I sit down to
write, I just want to freakingwrite.
So I just handle the resistancephysiologically and then I can
(47:36):
show up.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
And then these things start to happen that seem also
coincidental or so serendipitous, or some kismet, and you're
like I wonder what's beencleared here.
And it's hard because there'sno visual of it.
I always thought how could you,how could there be a visual of
all this happening behind thescenes?
But we don't even need it.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
We don't even need it , we can just celebrate the
magic.
But it's like the Goethe quoteright, when there is hesitancy,
when there is, when we, whatever, who's he, what's it?
But then once we commit,providence moves too and like
brings forth all of the matchesto our dreams.
That's not the quote, but youknow, we know we get it.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What an advantage, right, it'sa huge advantage.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
And it is so much easier, susie.
But it is so much easier, susie, it makes everything else so
much easier.
If you just learn to signalsafety in your body, then
everything becomes availablebecause everything can feel safe
Instead of having to like bustthrough your blocks.
(48:40):
Take massive action, feel thefear and do it anyway.
I'm like, or get, so you don'tfeel scared.
So then you just feel like arock star doing it.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
We know that feeling and that feeling is powerful,
right, when we have thosesensations of I can do it, like,
oh, this is possible, and ifjust that forward motion, it's
almost like this holy experience, I think.
And you know when, you know,when you're in it and and Kate's
the teacher, right, you sellthis by the bottle.
It's like, if only cause youimagine, but you don't even need
(49:11):
to because you can create ityourself.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
And what happens.
I mean, I won't get into all ofthe nerdy stuff, but there is
like a physiological cocktail ofdifferent hormone responses and
neurotransmitters.
All this really cool stuffhappens with dopamine and
serotonin and oxytocin.
It literally is a cocktail thatyou can make inside your body
(49:36):
like that, on demand, anytimeyou want, when you just learn
how.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
The miracle that we are right, the miracle of the
human experience, I mean.
So you have something veryexciting coming up, very, very
exciting.
Could you tell us a bit aboutit, what to expect and why we
need to be there?
Yes, if you don't already know,you need to be there.
My gosh, your life is tooexpensive If you are not there.
It is costing you.
I mean, think about how you canapply this so many things.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
Oh my gosh.
Thank you for that, susie.
It is so true.
It is so true.
So I am teaching a three-dayexperience about money magnetism
, and what you'll experienceover that three-day experience
is actually being able to doexactly what I said today, but
at a deeper level, which isclear the past stress, clear the
(50:30):
present stress, so that you canopen your capacity to feel new
feelings, think new thoughts,believe new things and behave in
new ways and activate yourmagnetism when it comes to money
.
So it is a workshop where I'llactually just walk you through
the experience of the theorythat we talked about today and
(50:55):
at the end of it, you will knowhow to magnetize more money on
demand through thatphysiological cocktail that I
just described.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Oh my, I mean what is more worthwhile than being
there and you walking us throughthis?
And, by the way, kate's a partylike you're, a fun teacher,
let's sit down and do some deepheavy it's like no, I know your
hip circles, baby.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
There will be music, there will be laughter.
Speaker 2 (51:21):
No.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
I don't do heavy.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
No, you don't have to be heavy to heal things.
I know this.
So have to be heavy to healthings.
What a great book title, Susie,you should write that book.
Oh, maybe, Kate.
What a joy the link is going tobe included in the show notes.
My friends, I'll be there too.
Kate is a joy to learn from andthis is this is stuff that's new
(51:45):
.
I mean, this is different, Likein a world of advice, in a
world of do this, try this, gofor it, throw everything at your
success.
I always love to throweverything at it, but this is
different, and Kate is.
Her methods are unique and theywork, and I love being your
friend, I love having you in myworld and I'm still looking
(52:06):
forward to it.
Three days, money magnet let'sgo.
Thank you so much, hey, thankyou for having me See you at
money magnet until and untilnext time on the pod.
I'm sure there'll be a thirdtime.
So thank you so much, Kate.
Hey friend, I've got somethingreally cool for you.
(52:26):
I want to give you free accessto my signature course called
Slay your Year, which typicallysells for $997.
You can check it out all thedetails at slayyouryearcom.
All you have to do to getaccess is leave me a review.
Leave a review of this podcaston Apple Podcasts, take a
(52:46):
snapshot of it and send it toinfo at suzy dash more dot com.
That's info at suzy dash moredot com and we'll get you set up
with access.
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