Why I'm Not In Love With Therapy

Ever found yourself feeling great all day, only to leave therapy feeling worse than when you arrived? You're not alone. While therapy has been tremendously helpful in my life—particularly couples therapy with my husband—I've noticed a concerning pattern that deserves honest exploration.

Many therapeutic approaches keep us locked in endless loops of our past, rehashing old wounds without clear forward momentum. This isn't always helpful. As the saying goes, "a therapist keeps you on the couch while a coach gets you off the couch." My natural inclination has always been toward living fully in the present, taking decisive action, and creating practical plans for growth—not endlessly revisiting childhood trauma or family dynamics.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Let it Be Easy with Susie Moore.
Okay, my friends, let's talkfor a moment about why I'm not
in love with therapy.
Now I must preface this bysaying I've enjoyed therapy a

(00:23):
lot in the past.
It's brought me a lot ofsupport and a lot of clarity.
I've also written about this inmy book.
Let it Be Easy Couples therapyhas been one of the best things
my husband and I have ever done,and therapy in my history has
helped me just understand myselfbetter.
It's helped me lean into theparts of myself that were kind

(00:45):
of confusing to me how anxious Iwould sometimes feel or on how
high alert I would sometimesfeel.
That said, I never worked witha therapist for really longer
than I think three-ish or somonths at a time.

(01:07):
In different periods when Ineeded them, I'd use them and
then I would pop in and then popout and to me that was perfect.
So why am I breaking this downtoday?
So look, whatever you need foryour own mental health, take it.
I applaud any moves towardswhatever it takes to take care

(01:30):
of yourself and your wellbeing.
I'd also like to share thatsometimes I don't like how
therapy keeps us locked in thisloop of our past.
You know, there's a joke that Iheard at NYU when I was
studying coaching there lifecoaching about the difference
between coaching and therapy andit says you know, a therapist

(01:51):
keeps you on the couch and acoach gets you off the couch,
gets you moving.
And that's very much my spiritliving in the present, taking
advantage of now, seekingopportunities, creating an
action plan, moving forward.
I've had friends and relativesover the years who've been kept
in therapy for months and monthsand months, even years at a

(02:13):
time, talking about the past,reliving it, rehashing it.
And if that works for you,don't listen to me today, tune
out, move on.
Listen to past episodes.
But I wonder, you know, evenwhen I was, say, weeks into
working with a therapist, I'd behaving, for example, a really
good day and I was feeling goodand high and I was like, oh gosh

(02:34):
, no 4pm therapy.
I'm like I almost don't want togo in there and talk about my
family or talk about my problemsand I would kind of leave
feeling worse than I went in.
And my goal, no matter what, isto feel as good as I can, as
much as I can.
My focus and my attention aremy most important currency and I
didn't want to focus on mydysfunctional past.

(02:56):
And I was reading a passage ina coaching book recently and
this woman was saying that hertherapist, working with her for
long periods, started to makeher feel sick and started to
make her feel even more heavyand depressed.
So, like I said, every life ispersonal.
Everyone's needs they'repersonal.

(03:18):
Do what's right for you.
But as you work with anybody,the only thing that I ask is is
your life improving?
Are you living in this place offorward momentum?
Are you making progress Weekafter week, month after month?
Is your life getting better?
Are you getting to be, do andhave more of what you want?

(03:38):
And if not, maybe it's time toswitch something up.
See how that lands with you,see how it feels.
I do have one friend in Miamiwho's worked with a therapist
for, I think, three or fouryears.
They have sessions, I think,every month.
She likes the check-in.
I think this therapist does acta little bit more like a coach.
And I said to her so you getsomething out of this, this

(04:00):
therapist session once a month,and she's like yes, it's a good
brain dump.
I don't have to, like you know,burden my friends or family or
husband, and I said, hey,sometimes it's nice to burden,
quote, unquote the people thatwe love, because we also want to
be there for you, but, ofcourse, do you do what feels
right.
My friends, if you feel like youwant more momentum, you're more

(04:25):
of an action plan, you're readyto just go?
Okay, where to from here?
I'm seizing my power in thepresent moment.
Check out my free masterclass.
It's about learning to becomeyour own life coach, which is
the best thing in the world,because your coach is always
right there with you.
You can head tobecomeyourownlifecoachcom
forward slash masterclass.

(04:46):
That's becomeyourownlifecoachcomforward slash masterclass,
which is all about my fourpillars to make the next 12
months the best 12 months ofyour life, and you'll learn why,
why you are where you are rightnow.
Learn why, why you are whereyou are right now, why it has

(05:09):
nothing to do with the dreamlife that you want If something
that you want is completelydifferent, why you're feeling
fatigued and maybe stuck, andwhy becoming self-confident now
is easier than you think, andhow you can worry way less
easier than you think, and howyou can worry way less Until
tomorrow.
My friends, so much love andease.

(05:31):
Hey friend, I've got somethingreally cool for you.
I want to give you free accessto my signature course called
Slay your Year, which typicallysells for $997.
You can check it out all thedetails at slayyouryearcom.
All you have to do to getaccess is leave me a review.

(05:51):
Leave a review of this podcaston Apple podcasts, take a
snapshot of it and send it toinfo at suzy-morecom.
That's info at suzy-morecom andwe'll get you set up with
access.