August 12, 2023 • 27 mins
We've all been there, staring at the pink slip, wondering what's next. Ciera Young LPC-A, gets real with us about the emotional toll of job loss or having to close a business. We navigate the intricate layers of the grieving process, creating a new normal, and moving on. Ciera’s insights into preparing for job loss, even when you're secure in your current job, are an eye-opener. She also shares the therapeutic power of going beyond the white couch when confronting self care and crisis. So, buckle up for a heart-to-heart on mental health like you've never heard before!
Ciera Young is a motivational speaker, mental health professional, and self-made powerhouse enhancing the lives of everyday people with her words and influence. She has committed herself to normalizing the conversation of mental health and empowers others to think forward to transform into the most authentic version of themselves.
https://www.recycledenergy.co/
https://www.facebook.com/beyondthewhitecouch
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ciera-young-lpc-a-9a6138150
contact@recycledenergy.co
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cindy Mendez (00:07):
Welcome back to another episode of Let Me
Interrupt.
So today you might be missingout on one of the squares on the
video or Zoom audio, and that'sbecause Melissa's not able to
join us today.
So it is just me flying highhere, but I have an amazing
guest to go with me along thisride.
Today we'll be talking toSierra Young.
(00:30):
She is a licensed professionalcounselor associate, a
motivational speaker andself-made powerhouse enhancing
lives with her words, influenceand laid-back style.
She focuses on taking theconversation of mental health
beyond the white couch, as sheempowers others to think outside
of the box when it comes tohealing, prioritizing their
(00:51):
mental health and learning howto own their own stories.
Welcome to the podcast, Sierra.
How are you?
Ciera Young (00:59):
Good.
Thank you so much for having meand shout out to you for
continuing to do this byyourself today.
Cindy Mendez (01:07):
Yeah, so every episode it's been Melissa and I,
so this will be a good test run.
Maybe Melissa will do anepisode by herself and then, who
knows, we might crank out morecontent that way.
But I really want to just openup the door to you and tell us a
little bit about who you areand what led you into mental
(01:31):
health.
Ciera Young (01:33):
Yeah, so again I am Sierra Young.
I'm a licensed professionalcounselor associate and I kind
of got into this mental healthjourney basically with my own
experience.
I have faced a lot ofchallenges, kind of growing up
in my teenage years and growingup in college kind of getting on
the scene in there.
(01:53):
There was a lot that happenedin college that kind of
emotionally drained me and Ididn't realize that it was such
a negative impact until after Ihad children.
And I remember going to therapyand starting to share my story
after having therapy for thefirst time and people would come
to me and they would talk to meand they would share things to
(02:15):
me about what they were goingthrough.
And while it was helpful for meto talk to them and kind of
listen to their stories, I feltlike that wasn't enough right.
There was not a lot ofresources other than I could say
we should go get you atherapist, and oftentimes that
was not always something thatpeople either had the budget for
(02:36):
, they had the time for or wereready to do, and so I wanted to
be able to be a resource morethan just being a listening ear,
and so that's kind of how I gotinto the field of mental health
and becoming a therapist.
Cindy Mendez (02:50):
That's so powerful , especially because it came
from a place that it wassomething that you used, right
Like that you saw the benefit in, and so that's great that you
were on the other side, becauseI feel like sometimes people
might have the idea that it'slike a failing to go and speak
(03:11):
to someone because you can'tfigure out by yourself.
So I mean, I think that'sreally great.
Now in your intro we saidbeyond the way, couch, yes, what
does that mean?
Ciera Young (03:25):
Oh, goodness it's for me, I know, and then for my
clients and people who kind oftalk to me.
Similar to what I said, there'sa lot of barriers that come
into play when you talk aboutsomebody getting professional
help with mental health, and soI wanted to create a space of
how do we create the norm ofmental health that doesn't have
(03:46):
to just take place in therapy.
And so when you think aboutbeyond the white couch it's all
of this stuff that happensoutside of therapy, right?
How are you taking what youlearn about yourself, about your
upbringing, about therelationships that you have,
life in general?
What is it teaching you and howcan you use that to move
forward in your healing journey?
(04:08):
It's not always necessary forpeople to have a therapist.
Now I believe that everybodyshould have one.
However, sometimes, because ofthe barriers, you're not able to
do that.
So can we create a space thatallows you to learn what can I
be doing outside of therapy thatprogresses me forward when it
comes to my mental and emotionalhealth?
(04:29):
So that's kind of what beyondthe white couch is, and that's
like, really, where I put a lotof my focus and emphasis,
because a session a week, onehour or once a month is just not
enough to devote to maintainingyour mental health, and so
there's work to be done outsideof therapy, and that's kind of
where the concept of beyond thewhite couch comes from.
Cindy Mendez (04:51):
And it takes a person away, I think, from that
separate clinical setting.
It sounds like I mean part ofyou know we like to share here.
So part of the reason I guesssometimes I have a restraint or
delay in getting into therapy orlooking for the resources I'm
(05:12):
like not one more thing on myplate to do because I think
about it as separate from my dayto day, like another task.
Or the same way, when you goand like go get a physical, like
you know you walk in.
It's a different space.
you walk out, you go back toyour life and it sounds like
(05:33):
this is more a blending or amarriage of your everyday life.
With those exercises, am Igetting close?
Ciera Young (05:44):
Yes, that is perfect.
I like to describe it If yourfavorite song comes on the radio
, how does that make you feel?
Right, it makes you feel good.
You get excited.
Like there's songs that come onthe radio and it doesn't matter
, I'm turning it up every time.
And that's what kind of beyondthe white couches, how I want
people to be excited aboutwhether you're going to see a
(06:06):
therapist, whether it'sprioritizing self care, whether
it's learning how to identifyyour feelings right, and it's
like I don't want to be excitedbecause a lot of people don't
know how to do that.
That takes work, that you haveto apply every day.
It's not just a let's walk inand talk about something
happening in the moment and thenwe walk out and then it's like
well, I got to go to work, I gotto take care of my kids, I have
(06:27):
to do all the things right.
Essentially, your mental healthand how you navigate your
emotions, and all of that showsup in every aspect of your life.
It is very integrated.
However, we're not reallytalking about it in a way that
it's integrated with everydaylife.
It's more so situation based ofoh, do you have trauma from
(06:49):
when you grew up?
Have you been in abusiverelationships.
Have you attempted suicide?
That becomes the norm in theconversation about mental health
, versus talking about what ishappening on your job that's
causing you some anxiety, what'shappening in your relationship
that's causing you not to haveeffective communication.
How are you exercising?
(07:10):
How are you not exercisingright?
So it really has a really bigintegration that we're not
talking about and that's what myapproach is kind of integrating
it throughout your life versusat points in your life.
Cindy Mendez (07:25):
Before we jump into our topic today, I just
thought of something that maybeothers are thinking too, and
it's you know what, if I'm notready, like I, you said, you
said a couple statements thereand some of those I get a
checkbox right Like, yeah, Iremember I went through this
thing or that thing, but I'mjust not ready to open Pandora's
(07:47):
box.
Does that mean I just shouldn'tgo to therapy?
Or is there kind of a placewhere you can work with
therapists to I don't know, liketime that out?
How does that work, like if Isay to you like hey, I'm just
not ready to talk about thatstuff right now.
(08:08):
What is your MO?
Like what happens next?
Ciera Young (08:11):
Yeah, so I'm always going to meet somebody where
they are right.
My job is not to open Pandora'sbox for you, because that has
to be a choice, because if I'mpressuring you, the likelihood
of you opening up to me, thelikelihood of you kind of taking
action, is going to be reallyminimized because you're not
going to feel comfortable withwhatever it is that open and
(08:33):
pandora's box looks like,whereas if it's more centered
around some things that arehappening in the present moment
that are addressed like you'restuck on or you're needing to
navigate through, yeah, I'm allabout giving people space to
heal in whatever capacity thatlooks like right.
But I think that redefiningtrauma, redefining healing, is
(08:55):
something that's essential,because sometimes it's not about
talking about childhood trauma.
Sometimes it's talking aboutwhy, every time I go into the
grocery store, I get nervous,right, or why I have to always
feel that I need to be incontrol, right.
All of those things are thingsthat may not have anything to do
(09:16):
with some of the things thatyou kind of tucked away, but I'm
the type of person that, as wenavigate through some of those
present things, you'll slowlyrealize, okay, this may be
connected to something that I'vebeen suppressing or something
that I haven't addressed in avery long time as a protective
factor and I think that's alsosomething that a lot of people
aren't aware of is that a lot ofthe things that you suppress
(09:39):
are done because you're tryingto protect yourself from
something.
What is that?
Something I don't know kind ofdepends on wherever you are on
your journey and whatever you'vebeen through.
But I'm definitely not a I'mnot going to pressure you to not
to talk about something thatyou're not comfortable, because
that's not going to be a healthy, you know relationship between
(10:00):
me and whoever I'm working with.
Cindy Mendez (10:02):
Thank you for that .
So today, what we want to focuson really, and get your
expertise on on the podcasttoday, is you know where our
relationship with our employerlies and how that impacts us in
ways that we may know and we maynot know.
Last season we had a guest onour podcast who told us about
(10:26):
anxiety in the workplace,depression and all of the things
that you kind of navigate whilein a workplace whether it's a
toxic setting or not.
But after COVID a lot haschanged in the landscape.
You know people were able tocertainly thrive in certain
businesses.
Ppp loans were helping people.
Now that money has run out,right Like now, people are
(10:49):
starting to go back to normaland they may be losing their
businesses or all of thatbudgeting that other businesses
did.
You know, tech companies all ofthat through COVID is now you
have to face the piper andpeople might be losing their
jobs.
So I really wanna touch ontoday.
(11:10):
You know what does that looklike?
You know the emotionalrollercoaster that people and
employees go when they're formof income, the way that they
feed their kids themselves or,if you're just sitting pretty
somewhere, the way that you getyou know your copies, whatever.
(11:31):
But can you kind of talk to usa little bit about what someone
may be facing, that type ofdeparture from either a business
they built up or from anemployer?
What is it like for that personright now?
Ciera Young (11:49):
Yeah, so when you think about kind of being on a
job for a long period of time ornot right, getting in a space
where you're used to somethingbeing a part of your routine,
when that's taken away from youin a physical form, we call it
death, right.
And when someone dies, what dowe do?
We grieve.
It's the same process when youhave any kind of major change in
(12:14):
your life, whether it's loss ofa job, loss of a friendship,
whatever, right.
And so what happens is peoplehave to grieve, they have to go
through a grieving processbecause the life that they were
living, the job that they wereworking, the norm, now becomes
something that is not familiaranymore.
And that's scary, it can beheartbreaking, it can be
(12:35):
traumatizing, it can be a lot ofemotion, that, a lot of things
that you're not sure how toprocess, because a lot of people
will say, well, oh, you canfind another job or you can,
there'll be other opportunitiesavailable.
But it's not giving peoplespace to understand and process
what's happening in the nowright.
And so for a person who may beexperiencing job loss or having
(12:58):
to shut down a business or evencutting hours, that's even
something that could be majorfor somebody who's working or
doing business with somebody,there's a grieving period
that'll take place in thattransition from where you are to
what you're going to do next.
And so I think that it'simportant for people to
understand that you're going toexperience emotions, you're
(13:21):
going to go through a lot ofthings, a lot of different
things that you may haveexperienced.
When you talk about a physicaldeath and that's something that
we don't culturally talk about alot that death comes in many
forms not in a physical one andso understanding that in the
midst of your transition, what'shappening is that you're
(13:42):
grieving and that you have tocreate a new norm and you have
to work towards navigating howyou're feeling in order to put
yourself in a different positionor put yourself out there to
start applying for new jobs ordoing a new business right,
there's going to have to be somekind of form of processing
before you're able to move on,to get to wherever the next step
(14:05):
is.
Cindy Mendez (14:06):
That was a great way to put it.
That was an absolutely greatway to put it because, luckily,
I don't find myself in thatsituation right now.
But if I can imagine, there arethings that I wake up every
morning ready to commit to myjob right, and then I have my
securities connected to it and Iput all of my trust right, we
(14:31):
get beyond the business,business and we start to think
about I put trust in my company,I put trust in my coworkers
that they'll do what needs to bedone, and so there's all these
real feelings that you eitherhave in a relationship with
someone that you start assigningto this business or this
(14:54):
employer.
So I can definitely see it fromthat perspective, for sure.
Back to that, beyond the whitecouch statement, what are some
approaches in this situationthat you would recommend that
would be helpful to deal withthis situation?
All those feelings youdescribed?
How would you use that beyondthe white couch approach with
(15:16):
someone?
Ciera Young (15:18):
Yeah.
So I would say the first thingis giving yourself space to feel
the feels right.
That is something that a lot ofpeople don't do.
They put themselves in a oh,I've got to figure out what to
do next.
I have to feed my family.
They're trying to jump to thenext moment, right, and so being
able to take a moment to justprocess, that's number one in
anything.
(15:38):
Whether you're losing a job,losing a relationship right, you
have to be able to stop andprocess.
Right, because you have to giveyourself time to bounce back
from what's happening.
Otherwise, it's kind of like asnowball effect if I don't
process my feelings and I'mgoing to get overwhelmed from
for looking for a job.
The overwhelming is going totake place and now I'm going to
(16:00):
have a hard time showing up forinterviews and doing, you know,
being able to actually put forththe right effort To to get
another job or to build anotherbusiness, because you haven't
quite processed what's happeningbefore.
I think that's number one.
It's giving yourself space tojust feel the field.
And the next thing is likewriting down a list of what do I
(16:22):
want, what do I need and whatdo I desire Right, because when
you start to think about thosethings, you start to position
yourself a little bitdifferently, because a lot of
times what happens is peoplewant to chase the money.
I know I need to make the money.
I need to make money so that Ican pay my bills and take care
of my family, and all of that istrue.
But what are the things thatyou value in a job?
(16:45):
What are the things that you'relooking for in a job?
What do you need?
What do you want and what doyou desire?
Because that's going to againslow you down so that you're not
just operating off theemotional.
I need to have a new job, butit gives you a sense of control
as to, okay, I'm processing howI feel.
I don't want to just look for ajob to fulfill the Financial
(17:06):
burden, but I'm trying toposition myself to get in a
different space and that'salways, you know, in any
situation, great for you to do,to kind of keep you grounded and
in control of making a morelogical decision versus an
emotional decision.
Cindy Mendez (17:23):
And it'll give you more leverage, right, like I
feel like when you're in amoment of desperation, right, I
can think back to the time youknow where, during COVID, I
actually got let go and went forone of my jobs for a week from
during COVID and it was I willtake.
I will take whatever comes myway Because, like you said, it's
(17:45):
getting that safety, thatfinancial security.
But I think what that list willgive you is a little bit of
leverage to not just go and Setyourself in a situation that you
know.
You know you might get a newjob and you might be here for
another year, you might be herefor another 10 years.
Ciera Young (18:07):
You want to start off, hopefully, on the right
foot Right and it also puts youin a better position not to be
in what you were describing thatyou talked about on previous.
The episode about created theenvironment that you're working
in and those anxiety and thingsthat come from that.
It because you're not in such arush to move on to the next
(18:29):
opportunity, you're beinglogical in making sure that the
environment is healthy, that theculture, culture is healthy and
that your job is not going tostress you and cause this
anxiety and these negativeimpacts.
Right, because you're lookingfor the opportunity.
You have an opportunity kind ofthink a little bit more clearly
and jump into a Opportunitythat is more fitting for you,
(18:53):
not just like temporary, but forthe long run, that it's also
healthy and conducive to yourmental health.
What would you say?
Cindy Mendez (18:59):
to folks right now that are in their job, they
feel secure.
Nothing's happening, it's justevery other day.
What is there anything thatsomeone can do to prepare or At
least begin that process?
I mean, can you begin a morningprocess without an actual death
(19:20):
?
Is that weird to ask?
Ciera Young (19:27):
Yeah, I mean, I think that a lot of times,
especially when you're workingfor somebody else, knowing that,
it Is kind of asking yourselfit's any job really secure?
I, covid taught us that that nojob is really secure.
There were a lot of.
There were things thatcorporations or organizations
(19:48):
they can control.
Once the shutdown happened,there was no.
Well, we have to work throughnot for anybody else outside of
healthcare workers, and sothere's something that you have
to kind of just prepare yourselffor as far as mental process of
is this really secure?
No, you don't have to try tomake an exit plan or even
(20:12):
prepare yourself for an exit inadvance, but just asking
yourself that kind of keeps thatopen mind to there's the
possibility of it being there.
I think that a lot of times whathappens is that we
automatically assume that thingsare forever without considering
the possibility of it being thepolar opposite, and so just
having that as something in yourmind that you're consciously
(20:35):
aware of, you don't have to likethink about it every day or be
prepared for it, but if it'ssomething that you're thinking,
you know like, okay, yes, my jobright now is secure, but
there's a possibility that oneday it can't, it won't be.
You know what are those steps.
How would that look like inasking yourself even just kind
of journaling I think a journalprompt is if I lost my job today
(20:57):
, what would happen?
Right, getting into the habitof exploring the options, even
if it's just like a mentalexploration, kind of, gives you
that like setting the stage fornot being so overwhelmed in the
moment if something does happen,because you're like oh, I
thought this through before,I've kind of sat with what I
might do next if this were tohappen, and I think that's a
(21:21):
good way to kind of prepare forthat if it should arise.
Cindy Mendez (21:26):
Yeah, and it throws me back to I don't know
if you ever seen like when acrime happens or something
happens in the neighborhood andthe news is out there asking the
neighbors and they're like Iwould have never, never thought
that would happen.
You know, sometimes I feel likethat too, with situational, like
(21:47):
I never thought these thingswould happen, but yet here they
are A great way to mitigate thatand the other thing.
So I did do a little bit ofdigging on Google for you and I
saw that you have worked withorganizations, at least in the
(22:08):
past, or if you're working withthem now, to kind of support the
mental health offerings thatthey possibly offered to
employees.
Can you tell us a little bitabout that and maybe go into
some options?
If there are some leaders onthis podcast listening right now
, how can they provide support,either preemptively or to those
(22:34):
employees that have been given anotice?
Ciera Young (22:38):
Yeah, so I think that a lot of companies offer
employee assistance programs andthose typically have maybe
therapy services built in to,where the company may pay for so
many therapy sessions withwhoever is signed up with their
program.
But I think for a company andthose who are in leadership
(23:01):
roles, I think it's veryimportant to integrate mental
health into the company'spolicies and trainings and
things like that, because aperson's mental health, whether
it's actively working with thecompany or leaving the company,
is very important to thecompany's success.
And I think understanding thatshows that as an employer, you
(23:23):
value your employees' mentalhealth, you care, you show
concern, which then gives peoplemore motive to want to work
harder, want to show up and dotheir roles and then not feel so
like have create any kind ofnegative relationships should
there be termination, letting go, layoffs and those kind of
(23:45):
things.
And so I think that it's reallyimportant to integrate that
while you have people workingand also have that offering
available in people's transition, because that creates a great
climate, a mental health climate, within the company.
Cindy Mendez (23:59):
Well, I know for the most part this provides a
different perspective for people, right?
Like it's sometimes hard to getyour hand, your head out of the
sand and look around and seelike it's not a full loss, like
I'm not.
You know it's not over yetright.
(24:19):
Right.
Is there anything else that youthink might be beneficial to
add to that perspective that youcan think about?
Ciera Young (24:31):
Yeah, I think just understanding that everything is
not always going to be in yourcontrol it's something that is
very helpful, especially whenyou're talking about job losses
and transitionings within jobs,because you do have to work to
make a living and you are, youknow, providing for your family
and not having that createstress and anxiety and confusion
(24:53):
and a lot of different emotions.
But understanding that you'renot always going to be in
control, right.
And so when you realize thatyou start to focus on some of
those things that you cancontrol like we were talking
about being proactive, aboutthinking about okay, if
something does happen, what aremy options, what can I do?
Being able to be in a climatewhere your employer is catering
(25:15):
to your mental health and havingoptions available for you I
think are within your control,right, and being able to focus
on that gives you more selfcontrol if the outcome turns to
something different.
Cindy Mendez (25:28):
As we round out our conversation, I wanna give
you the floor to tell us alittle bit about the services
that you offer, the coachingthat you offer, and are you open
to any clients at the moment ifsomebody connected with you or
wants to go further in thisconversation with you?
Ciera Young (25:48):
Yeah, so I am currently accepting both therapy
clients and coaching clients,and so let me just kind of
explain the difference, cause Ithink that sometimes can be
confusing.
So with therapy, we're going tokind of explore more of the why,
the history and uncovering andunpacking some of those historic
things that have happened, thatkind of create where you are
(26:09):
today, whereas in coaching we'remore specific of what's
happening right now and how do Imove forward with the goals and
personal or professional goalsthat I have for myself, and we
kind of explore mindset andsetting up strategic how do you
accomplish those goals.
But that's kind of where thedifference is with coaching and
(26:30):
therapy.
So I'm accepting clients forboth.
If you're in South Carolina,cause that's where I'm licensed
currently that's for therapyclients and coaching is all over
.
So if you go to my website it'srecycledenergyco You'll have
information on how to book aconsultation, which is free, and
then we can navigate what wouldbe the best option for you and
(26:51):
go forward from there If you'reready or need to work on
something that may be resonatedwith you today.
Cindy Mendez (26:58):
Fantastic.
So to our listeners, that'll bedown in the notes below.
That'll be in the notes belowand you can give Sierra a look
and see if she might be a goodfit.
Especially if you are goingthrough this time of transition,
I think there's no better timethan now to get a hand and
support, because you're notsupposed to be or have to be
(27:22):
alone doing it.
So, sierra, I just wanna saythank you for taking the time to
have this conversation with us.
It is so important for manypeople, I think, right now going
through this time, but also forothers who can understand and
help at least their colleaguesor their family members and not
(27:47):
just be like just get anotherjob, whatever, absolutely.
But until next time, we wannatell our listeners just keep
interrupting.
Welcome back to another episode of Let Me
Interrupt.
So today you might be missingout on one of the squares on the
video or Zoom audio, and that'sbecause Melissa's not able to
join us today.
So it is just me flying highhere, but I have an amazing
guest to go with me along thisride.
Today we'll be talking toSierra Young.
(00:30):
She is a licensed professionalcounselor associate, a
motivational speaker andself-made powerhouse enhancing
lives with her words, influenceand laid-back style.
She focuses on taking theconversation of mental health
beyond the white couch, as sheempowers others to think outside
of the box when it comes tohealing, prioritizing their
(00:51):
mental health and learning howto own their own stories.
Welcome to the podcast, Sierra.
How are you?
Ciera Young (00:59):
Good.
Thank you so much for having meand shout out to you for
continuing to do this byyourself today.
Cindy Mendez (01:07):
Yeah, so every episode it's been Melissa and I,
so this will be a good test run.
Maybe Melissa will do anepisode by herself and then, who
knows, we might crank out morecontent that way.
But I really want to just openup the door to you and tell us a
little bit about who you areand what led you into mental
(01:31):
health.
Ciera Young (01:33):
Yeah, so again I am Sierra Young.
I'm a licensed professionalcounselor associate and I kind
of got into this mental healthjourney basically with my own
experience.
I have faced a lot ofchallenges, kind of growing up
in my teenage years and growingup in college kind of getting on
the scene in there.
(01:53):
There was a lot that happenedin college that kind of
emotionally drained me and Ididn't realize that it was such
a negative impact until after Ihad children.
And I remember going to therapyand starting to share my story
after having therapy for thefirst time and people would come
to me and they would talk to meand they would share things to
(02:15):
me about what they were goingthrough.
And while it was helpful for meto talk to them and kind of
listen to their stories, I feltlike that wasn't enough right.
There was not a lot ofresources other than I could say
we should go get you atherapist, and oftentimes that
was not always something thatpeople either had the budget for
(02:36):
, they had the time for or wereready to do, and so I wanted to
be able to be a resource morethan just being a listening ear,
and so that's kind of how I gotinto the field of mental health
and becoming a therapist.
Cindy Mendez (02:50):
That's so powerful , especially because it came
from a place that it wassomething that you used, right
Like that you saw the benefit in, and so that's great that you
were on the other side, becauseI feel like sometimes people
might have the idea that it'slike a failing to go and speak
(03:11):
to someone because you can'tfigure out by yourself.
So I mean, I think that'sreally great.
Now in your intro we saidbeyond the way, couch, yes, what
does that mean?
Ciera Young (03:25):
Oh, goodness it's for me, I know, and then for my
clients and people who kind oftalk to me.
Similar to what I said, there'sa lot of barriers that come
into play when you talk aboutsomebody getting professional
help with mental health, and soI wanted to create a space of
how do we create the norm ofmental health that doesn't have
(03:46):
to just take place in therapy.
And so when you think aboutbeyond the white couch it's all
of this stuff that happensoutside of therapy, right?
How are you taking what youlearn about yourself, about your
upbringing, about therelationships that you have,
life in general?
What is it teaching you and howcan you use that to move
forward in your healing journey?
(04:08):
It's not always necessary forpeople to have a therapist.
Now I believe that everybodyshould have one.
However, sometimes, because ofthe barriers, you're not able to
do that.
So can we create a space thatallows you to learn what can I
be doing outside of therapy thatprogresses me forward when it
comes to my mental and emotionalhealth?
(04:29):
So that's kind of what beyondthe white couch is, and that's
like, really, where I put a lotof my focus and emphasis,
because a session a week, onehour or once a month is just not
enough to devote to maintainingyour mental health, and so
there's work to be done outsideof therapy, and that's kind of
where the concept of beyond thewhite couch comes from.
Cindy Mendez (04:51):
And it takes a person away, I think, from that
separate clinical setting.
It sounds like I mean part ofyou know we like to share here.
So part of the reason I guesssometimes I have a restraint or
delay in getting into therapy orlooking for the resources I'm
(05:12):
like not one more thing on myplate to do because I think
about it as separate from my dayto day, like another task.
Or the same way, when you goand like go get a physical, like
you know you walk in.
It's a different space.
you walk out, you go back toyour life and it sounds like
(05:33):
this is more a blending or amarriage of your everyday life.
With those exercises, am Igetting close?
Ciera Young (05:44):
Yes, that is perfect.
I like to describe it If yourfavorite song comes on the radio
, how does that make you feel?
Right, it makes you feel good.
You get excited.
Like there's songs that come onthe radio and it doesn't matter
, I'm turning it up every time.
And that's what kind of beyondthe white couches, how I want
people to be excited aboutwhether you're going to see a
(06:06):
therapist, whether it'sprioritizing self care, whether
it's learning how to identifyyour feelings right, and it's
like I don't want to be excitedbecause a lot of people don't
know how to do that.
That takes work, that you haveto apply every day.
It's not just a let's walk inand talk about something
happening in the moment and thenwe walk out and then it's like
well, I got to go to work, I gotto take care of my kids, I have
(06:27):
to do all the things right.
Essentially, your mental healthand how you navigate your
emotions, and all of that showsup in every aspect of your life.
It is very integrated.
However, we're not reallytalking about it in a way that
it's integrated with everydaylife.
It's more so situation based ofoh, do you have trauma from
(06:49):
when you grew up?
Have you been in abusiverelationships.
Have you attempted suicide?
That becomes the norm in theconversation about mental health
, versus talking about what ishappening on your job that's
causing you some anxiety, what'shappening in your relationship
that's causing you not to haveeffective communication.
How are you exercising?
(07:10):
How are you not exercisingright?
So it really has a really bigintegration that we're not
talking about and that's what myapproach is kind of integrating
it throughout your life versusat points in your life.
Cindy Mendez (07:25):
Before we jump into our topic today, I just
thought of something that maybeothers are thinking too, and
it's you know what, if I'm notready, like I, you said, you
said a couple statements thereand some of those I get a
checkbox right Like, yeah, Iremember I went through this
thing or that thing, but I'mjust not ready to open Pandora's
(07:47):
box.
Does that mean I just shouldn'tgo to therapy?
Or is there kind of a placewhere you can work with
therapists to I don't know, liketime that out?
How does that work, like if Isay to you like hey, I'm just
not ready to talk about thatstuff right now.
(08:08):
What is your MO?
Like what happens next?
Ciera Young (08:11):
Yeah, so I'm always going to meet somebody where
they are right.
My job is not to open Pandora'sbox for you, because that has
to be a choice, because if I'mpressuring you, the likelihood
of you opening up to me, thelikelihood of you kind of taking
action, is going to be reallyminimized because you're not
going to feel comfortable withwhatever it is that open and
(08:33):
pandora's box looks like,whereas if it's more centered
around some things that arehappening in the present moment
that are addressed like you'restuck on or you're needing to
navigate through, yeah, I'm allabout giving people space to
heal in whatever capacity thatlooks like right.
But I think that redefiningtrauma, redefining healing, is
(08:55):
something that's essential,because sometimes it's not about
talking about childhood trauma.
Sometimes it's talking aboutwhy, every time I go into the
grocery store, I get nervous,right, or why I have to always
feel that I need to be incontrol, right.
All of those things are thingsthat may not have anything to do
(09:16):
with some of the things thatyou kind of tucked away, but I'm
the type of person that, as wenavigate through some of those
present things, you'll slowlyrealize, okay, this may be
connected to something that I'vebeen suppressing or something
that I haven't addressed in avery long time as a protective
factor and I think that's alsosomething that a lot of people
aren't aware of is that a lot ofthe things that you suppress
(09:39):
are done because you're tryingto protect yourself from
something.
What is that?
Something I don't know kind ofdepends on wherever you are on
your journey and whatever you'vebeen through.
But I'm definitely not a I'mnot going to pressure you to not
to talk about something thatyou're not comfortable, because
that's not going to be a healthy, you know relationship between
(10:00):
me and whoever I'm working with.
Cindy Mendez (10:02):
Thank you for that .
So today, what we want to focuson really, and get your
expertise on on the podcasttoday, is you know where our
relationship with our employerlies and how that impacts us in
ways that we may know and we maynot know.
Last season we had a guest onour podcast who told us about
(10:26):
anxiety in the workplace,depression and all of the things
that you kind of navigate whilein a workplace whether it's a
toxic setting or not.
But after COVID a lot haschanged in the landscape.
You know people were able tocertainly thrive in certain
businesses.
Ppp loans were helping people.
Now that money has run out,right Like now, people are
(10:49):
starting to go back to normaland they may be losing their
businesses or all of thatbudgeting that other businesses
did.
You know, tech companies all ofthat through COVID is now you
have to face the piper andpeople might be losing their
jobs.
So I really wanna touch ontoday.
(11:10):
You know what does that looklike?
You know the emotionalrollercoaster that people and
employees go when they're formof income, the way that they
feed their kids themselves or,if you're just sitting pretty
somewhere, the way that you getyou know your copies, whatever.
(11:31):
But can you kind of talk to usa little bit about what someone
may be facing, that type ofdeparture from either a business
they built up or from anemployer?
What is it like for that personright now?
Ciera Young (11:49):
Yeah, so when you think about kind of being on a
job for a long period of time ornot right, getting in a space
where you're used to somethingbeing a part of your routine,
when that's taken away from youin a physical form, we call it
death, right.
And when someone dies, what dowe do?
We grieve.
It's the same process when youhave any kind of major change in
(12:14):
your life, whether it's loss ofa job, loss of a friendship,
whatever, right.
And so what happens is peoplehave to grieve, they have to go
through a grieving processbecause the life that they were
living, the job that they wereworking, the norm, now becomes
something that is not familiaranymore.
And that's scary, it can beheartbreaking, it can be
(12:35):
traumatizing, it can be a lot ofemotion, that, a lot of things
that you're not sure how toprocess, because a lot of people
will say, well, oh, you canfind another job or you can,
there'll be other opportunitiesavailable.
But it's not giving peoplespace to understand and process
what's happening in the nowright.
And so for a person who may beexperiencing job loss or having
(12:58):
to shut down a business or evencutting hours, that's even
something that could be majorfor somebody who's working or
doing business with somebody,there's a grieving period
that'll take place in thattransition from where you are to
what you're going to do next.
And so I think that it'simportant for people to
understand that you're going toexperience emotions, you're
(13:21):
going to go through a lot ofthings, a lot of different
things that you may haveexperienced.
When you talk about a physicaldeath and that's something that
we don't culturally talk about alot that death comes in many
forms not in a physical one andso understanding that in the
midst of your transition, what'shappening is that you're
(13:42):
grieving and that you have tocreate a new norm and you have
to work towards navigating howyou're feeling in order to put
yourself in a different positionor put yourself out there to
start applying for new jobs ordoing a new business right,
there's going to have to be somekind of form of processing
before you're able to move on,to get to wherever the next step
(14:05):
is.
Cindy Mendez (14:06):
That was a great way to put it.
That was an absolutely greatway to put it because, luckily,
I don't find myself in thatsituation right now.
But if I can imagine, there arethings that I wake up every
morning ready to commit to myjob right, and then I have my
securities connected to it and Iput all of my trust right, we
(14:31):
get beyond the business,business and we start to think
about I put trust in my company,I put trust in my coworkers
that they'll do what needs to bedone, and so there's all these
real feelings that you eitherhave in a relationship with
someone that you start assigningto this business or this
(14:54):
employer.
So I can definitely see it fromthat perspective, for sure.
Back to that, beyond the whitecouch statement, what are some
approaches in this situationthat you would recommend that
would be helpful to deal withthis situation?
All those feelings youdescribed?
How would you use that beyondthe white couch approach with
(15:16):
someone?
Ciera Young (15:18):
Yeah.
So I would say the first thingis giving yourself space to feel
the feels right.
That is something that a lot ofpeople don't do.
They put themselves in a oh,I've got to figure out what to
do next.
I have to feed my family.
They're trying to jump to thenext moment, right, and so being
able to take a moment to justprocess, that's number one in
anything.
(15:38):
Whether you're losing a job,losing a relationship right, you
have to be able to stop andprocess.
Right, because you have to giveyourself time to bounce back
from what's happening.
Otherwise, it's kind of like asnowball effect if I don't
process my feelings and I'mgoing to get overwhelmed from
for looking for a job.
The overwhelming is going totake place and now I'm going to
(16:00):
have a hard time showing up forinterviews and doing, you know,
being able to actually put forththe right effort To to get
another job or to build anotherbusiness, because you haven't
quite processed what's happeningbefore.
I think that's number one.
It's giving yourself space tojust feel the field.
And the next thing is likewriting down a list of what do I
(16:22):
want, what do I need and whatdo I desire Right, because when
you start to think about thosethings, you start to position
yourself a little bitdifferently, because a lot of
times what happens is peoplewant to chase the money.
I know I need to make the money.
I need to make money so that Ican pay my bills and take care
of my family, and all of that istrue.
But what are the things thatyou value in a job?
(16:45):
What are the things that you'relooking for in a job?
What do you need?
What do you want and what doyou desire?
Because that's going to againslow you down so that you're not
just operating off theemotional.
I need to have a new job, butit gives you a sense of control
as to, okay, I'm processing howI feel.
I don't want to just look for ajob to fulfill the Financial
(17:06):
burden, but I'm trying toposition myself to get in a
different space and that'salways, you know, in any
situation, great for you to do,to kind of keep you grounded and
in control of making a morelogical decision versus an
emotional decision.
Cindy Mendez (17:23):
And it'll give you more leverage, right, like I
feel like when you're in amoment of desperation, right, I
can think back to the time youknow where, during COVID, I
actually got let go and went forone of my jobs for a week from
during COVID and it was I willtake.
I will take whatever comes myway Because, like you said, it's
(17:45):
getting that safety, thatfinancial security.
But I think what that list willgive you is a little bit of
leverage to not just go and Setyourself in a situation that you
know.
You know you might get a newjob and you might be here for
another year, you might be herefor another 10 years.
Ciera Young (18:07):
You want to start off, hopefully, on the right
foot Right and it also puts youin a better position not to be
in what you were describing thatyou talked about on previous.
The episode about created theenvironment that you're working
in and those anxiety and thingsthat come from that.
It because you're not in such arush to move on to the next
(18:29):
opportunity, you're beinglogical in making sure that the
environment is healthy, that theculture, culture is healthy and
that your job is not going tostress you and cause this
anxiety and these negativeimpacts.
Right, because you're lookingfor the opportunity.
You have an opportunity kind ofthink a little bit more clearly
and jump into a Opportunitythat is more fitting for you,
(18:53):
not just like temporary, but forthe long run, that it's also
healthy and conducive to yourmental health.
What would you say?
Cindy Mendez (18:59):
to folks right now that are in their job, they
feel secure.
Nothing's happening, it's justevery other day.
What is there anything thatsomeone can do to prepare or At
least begin that process?
I mean, can you begin a morningprocess without an actual death
(19:20):
?
Is that weird to ask?
Ciera Young (19:27):
Yeah, I mean, I think that a lot of times,
especially when you're workingfor somebody else, knowing that,
it Is kind of asking yourselfit's any job really secure?
I, covid taught us that that nojob is really secure.
There were a lot of.
There were things thatcorporations or organizations
(19:48):
they can control.
Once the shutdown happened,there was no.
Well, we have to work throughnot for anybody else outside of
healthcare workers, and sothere's something that you have
to kind of just prepare yourselffor as far as mental process of
is this really secure?
No, you don't have to try tomake an exit plan or even
(20:12):
prepare yourself for an exit inadvance, but just asking
yourself that kind of keeps thatopen mind to there's the
possibility of it being there.
I think that a lot of times whathappens is that we
automatically assume that thingsare forever without considering
the possibility of it being thepolar opposite, and so just
having that as something in yourmind that you're consciously
(20:35):
aware of, you don't have to likethink about it every day or be
prepared for it, but if it'ssomething that you're thinking,
you know like, okay, yes, my jobright now is secure, but
there's a possibility that oneday it can't, it won't be.
You know what are those steps.
How would that look like inasking yourself even just kind
of journaling I think a journalprompt is if I lost my job today
(20:57):
, what would happen?
Right, getting into the habitof exploring the options, even
if it's just like a mentalexploration, kind of, gives you
that like setting the stage fornot being so overwhelmed in the
moment if something does happen,because you're like oh, I
thought this through before,I've kind of sat with what I
might do next if this were tohappen, and I think that's a
(21:21):
good way to kind of prepare forthat if it should arise.
Cindy Mendez (21:26):
Yeah, and it throws me back to I don't know
if you ever seen like when acrime happens or something
happens in the neighborhood andthe news is out there asking the
neighbors and they're like Iwould have never, never thought
that would happen.
You know, sometimes I feel likethat too, with situational, like
(21:47):
I never thought these thingswould happen, but yet here they
are A great way to mitigate thatand the other thing.
So I did do a little bit ofdigging on Google for you and I
saw that you have worked withorganizations, at least in the
(22:08):
past, or if you're working withthem now, to kind of support the
mental health offerings thatthey possibly offered to
employees.
Can you tell us a little bitabout that and maybe go into
some options?
If there are some leaders onthis podcast listening right now
, how can they provide support,either preemptively or to those
(22:34):
employees that have been given anotice?
Ciera Young (22:38):
Yeah, so I think that a lot of companies offer
employee assistance programs andthose typically have maybe
therapy services built in to,where the company may pay for so
many therapy sessions withwhoever is signed up with their
program.
But I think for a company andthose who are in leadership
(23:01):
roles, I think it's veryimportant to integrate mental
health into the company'spolicies and trainings and
things like that, because aperson's mental health, whether
it's actively working with thecompany or leaving the company,
is very important to thecompany's success.
And I think understanding thatshows that as an employer, you
(23:23):
value your employees' mentalhealth, you care, you show
concern, which then gives peoplemore motive to want to work
harder, want to show up and dotheir roles and then not feel so
like have create any kind ofnegative relationships should
there be termination, letting go, layoffs and those kind of
(23:45):
things.
And so I think that it's reallyimportant to integrate that
while you have people workingand also have that offering
available in people's transition, because that creates a great
climate, a mental health climate, within the company.
Cindy Mendez (23:59):
Well, I know for the most part this provides a
different perspective for people, right?
Like it's sometimes hard to getyour hand, your head out of the
sand and look around and seelike it's not a full loss, like
I'm not.
You know it's not over yetright.
(24:19):
Right.
Is there anything else that youthink might be beneficial to
add to that perspective that youcan think about?
Ciera Young (24:31):
Yeah, I think just understanding that everything is
not always going to be in yourcontrol it's something that is
very helpful, especially whenyou're talking about job losses
and transitionings within jobs,because you do have to work to
make a living and you are, youknow, providing for your family
and not having that createstress and anxiety and confusion
(24:53):
and a lot of different emotions.
But understanding that you'renot always going to be in
control, right.
And so when you realize thatyou start to focus on some of
those things that you cancontrol like we were talking
about being proactive, aboutthinking about okay, if
something does happen, what aremy options, what can I do?
Being able to be in a climatewhere your employer is catering
(25:15):
to your mental health and havingoptions available for you I
think are within your control,right, and being able to focus
on that gives you more selfcontrol if the outcome turns to
something different.
Cindy Mendez (25:28):
As we round out our conversation, I wanna give
you the floor to tell us alittle bit about the services
that you offer, the coachingthat you offer, and are you open
to any clients at the moment ifsomebody connected with you or
wants to go further in thisconversation with you?
Ciera Young (25:48):
Yeah, so I am currently accepting both therapy
clients and coaching clients,and so let me just kind of
explain the difference, cause Ithink that sometimes can be
confusing.
So with therapy, we're going tokind of explore more of the why,
the history and uncovering andunpacking some of those historic
things that have happened, thatkind of create where you are
(26:09):
today, whereas in coaching we'remore specific of what's
happening right now and how do Imove forward with the goals and
personal or professional goalsthat I have for myself, and we
kind of explore mindset andsetting up strategic how do you
accomplish those goals.
But that's kind of where thedifference is with coaching and
(26:30):
therapy.
So I'm accepting clients forboth.
If you're in South Carolina,cause that's where I'm licensed
currently that's for therapyclients and coaching is all over
.
So if you go to my website it'srecycledenergyco You'll have
information on how to book aconsultation, which is free, and
then we can navigate what wouldbe the best option for you and
(26:51):
go forward from there If you'reready or need to work on
something that may be resonatedwith you today.
Cindy Mendez (26:58):
Fantastic.
So to our listeners, that'll bedown in the notes below.
That'll be in the notes belowand you can give Sierra a look
and see if she might be a goodfit.
Especially if you are goingthrough this time of transition,
I think there's no better timethan now to get a hand and
support, because you're notsupposed to be or have to be
(27:22):
alone doing it.
So, sierra, I just wanna saythank you for taking the time to
have this conversation with us.
It is so important for manypeople, I think, right now going
through this time, but also forothers who can understand and
help at least their colleaguesor their family members and not
(27:47):
just be like just get anotherjob, whatever, absolutely.
But until next time, we wannatell our listeners just keep
interrupting.
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