June 29, 2025 • 27 mins
In this week’s Sunday conversation, Delbert and Hess reflect on the helpers of the world. Hess has had quite the list of things on the farm that needed to be repaired the last 6 weeks—her geothermal furnace, the brakes on her boat trailer, and then this week, the well pump on the farm and other components needed replaced. Delbert made the point that helpers can get good feelings by helping—an endorphin rush by helping, and also by figuring out solutions to problems. Helpers come in all sizes. There are the police, the nurses, firefighters who of course are helpers. Delbert also appreciates the lifeguards at Turner pool and all the helpers that cleaned it up after it was flooded by the river this spring. She also appreciates how good it feels to walk in her neighborhood Trader Joe’s. All the people there are so helpful and friendly. Hess really loves the connections she has with the people she depends on to keep everything running at the farm. She respects their abilities and knowledge. She loves them as people. Hess and Delbert also bring up the point that it’s important to ask for help. It gives others a gift to be able to help. Edie Windsor needed help to fight for the legal rights of her marriage to her wife Thea, and Robbie Kaplan, took her case. Mr. Roger’s says there are three key’s to being an ultimate success: “Number one, be kind; Number two, be kind, and Number three, be kind.”
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey you all, thanks so much for tuning in.
We so appreciate you.
We so appreciate you joining ourweekly conversation.
Maybe with this conversationcould help raise you up a little
bit.
It always raises Delbert and Iup.
My name's Hess and I'm sittingin the white chair by my bedroom
window looking out at the farm.
Delbert (00:21):
And I'm Delbert.
Good morning from Louisville,Kentucky.
It is a beautiful sunny morning.
It's supposed to rain againtoday, but I am on the green
couch just soaking it all in,all the sunshine in.
And talking to Hess and you allthis morning, I hope you've had
a great week.
Hess has had a great week, butshe's also had a lot of things
(00:43):
that she needed help with on thefarm in her world.
And so it inspired us to talkabout the helpers that are out
there in the world, Hess telleverybody a little bit about all
the things that happened withyou in the past week, but
actually six weeks maybe to.
Hess (01:01):
Our AC went out.
We have geothermal furnace, andgot the right people able to
slide a new one in there.
It's just, I'm I've had a wholelot of stuff go down and need to
be fixed and it's, I'm justtouched, there's a problem, but
there's somebody that can showup that's so good at what needs
to be done.
(01:22):
fix it.
And so I, let's see what all isgoing on that geothermal
furnace.
I didn't have brakes on my boattrailer.
And I'm about to haul up toCanada.
And my guy that cha changes thewheel bearings.
He goes, you don't have anybrake fluid in your cylinder.
And I'm like, what?
And he goes, you gotta leaksomewhere.
It ends up the guy that's withhim.
He can do brakes.
(01:43):
He gets it all fixed with theproper stuff to do it.
That's not gonna get, get hurtby water,'cause you gotta dip
that trailer all the way backinto the water and sometimes
it's salt water.
Anyway, that and the water hereat the farm, we have well water
folks and it's wonderful.
Good taste in well water.
And it's 25 gallons per minutethat it produces.
(02:07):
It's only 65 feet deep.
There was not city water here.
At 44 70 old Frankfort Pike.
I'm telling y'all where I live,but there wasn't any water out
here from the city.
I'm in the west end, west sideof Fayette County.
we dug a well, anyway, my waterwas coming in and out and I had
this wonderful guy, Mike I havehim in my phone as Mike Water.
(02:31):
Another guy that works with himis Woody Water, and another guy
that works with him is TimWater.
And they all showed up.
And Mike was, Mike had his, likehis Sherlock Holmes hat on just
over a four day period.
He get this fixed and then allof a sudden that turned on the
water and there's no water.
Then he fixed that.
Anyway, there's a lot ofcomponents of well water, like
(02:52):
bladder tank pressure, pumppressure switch, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
So anyway that's all done.
It just.
I'm lucky that economically Ican pay for these fixes and
these people deserve the moneythat they get for their talent
to be able to fix stuff.
So that, that kind of is whatit's about for me.
(03:13):
Delbert is just feeling blessedby the people that can show up
in my life and do what needs tobe done because they have the
talent and treasure to do it.
Delbert (03:23):
Exactly, and listening about your boat and the farm and
the well and your geo.
It's a lot of headache for sure,but you're so fortunate, you're
so fortunate and then doubleblessed to have these.
Wonderful helpers that come andhelp you on your farm.
Hess (03:42):
Yeah, and I wanna say a little bit more this about that
Delbert, its connection.
The relationships that thesepeople know that they're gonna
get paid for their services thatI really admire and respect
them.
They feel it.
It's about relationship thatmakes that that, that helps all
(04:03):
of this happen.
And I go back to a week agoFriday.
When I got to tour with Victor,who has Roaring Brook recovery
services here in Lexington,Victor and one of his associates
went with me to tour the Healingplace.
Up in Louisville.
That's just such an amazingplace.
(04:25):
Like a 60, 70% success rate.
It's a long-term peer-drivenfacility.
And the helpers are people thatwere in addiction, peer led.
There's no bullshit.
I know the story.
I know you might be lying.
You gotta show up here.
I showed up here.
This was my struggle.
And it, and they're all helpers.
Every individual person will endup being one of the helpers.
Delbert (04:49):
That's a beautiful part about that program and there's
just so many different helpersin so many different ways and so
many different parts of ourlives.
I love the Healing Place, and Ilove your connection to it and
your family's devotion to it,and just all the people that it
truly helps and how once theyget into recovery, like you
(05:12):
said, they become the helpersand that empowers them.
There's something that I lookedup when I was thinking about.
Talking about this today, that'scalled a helper's high.
And it's just natural endorphinsthat you get when you help
someone.
And that's why doing servicework or doing something to help
(05:32):
others when you're down is suchgood rehabilitation because you
just get this natural high andthis endorphin from.
Helping people and probably theguys that were working on your
well and your brakes, they get alittle bit of a rush from being
appreciated by you, but also,being the detective and solving
all these problems.
(05:53):
I'm thinking about trader Joe's,when I go in there, I feel like
I'm doing something so healthyfor myself.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, so this is real life here.
We've got a an alert, we've gotan Amber alert, so we'll go
(06:16):
ahead and say that endangeredadult Megan Kromer 33, missing
from Rock Castle County,Kentucky.
Since this morning at 5:51 AMshe's.
5 7, 2 30 pounds.
Brown hair, blue eyes.
They are unsure of what she waswearing at the time, but she may
be in a black 2016 Nissan Altimawith Kentucky plates.
(06:41):
N three three eight.
Call 9 1 1.
Do not approach.
Let's all be on the lookout forthat sweet person.
Let's be a helper for her.
Hess (06:50):
Wow.
This is something else how MeganKromer she needs, she.
She needs some helpers.
Wow.
What a serendipitous momenthere.
Delbert.
This big alert happen on ourphones,
Delbert (07:02):
Right.
Hess (07:02):
you all heard that in the background.
So your phone was lighting upsimultaneously.
It's like bouncing off.
Satellites, way out in space,And she needs some help.
Delbert (07:12):
Wow.
And the helper's big and small.
When I first think about it, Ithink about the emergency
workers, the policemen, thefiremen, the doctors, the
nurses, all these people thatare that we really relate to as
helpers.
I.
And, but gosh, in so many otherways, I was just getting ready
to say when I go to TraderJoe's, I'm automatically in a
(07:34):
good mood because everybodythere is so eager to help you.
They're so polite, they're sohappy, they're so happy to work
there.
And it just creates this, I lovea vibe.
It just creates this wonderfulgood vibe.
It makes you feel, you're buyingthis organic produce and all
this organic, dairy products andthings and good homemade breads
(07:57):
and things, and you're justfeeling so good about yourself
and then the people there aremaking you feel so good.
That's just what we want in theworld with all the despair right
now, with all the wars and allthe things that are going on in
this world right now.
We need to really think aboutthe good and help lift each
other up.
(08:18):
Think about all the good in thisworld.
And one of the things that I'mthankful for is lifeguards at
Turner's.
'cause I went swimming yesterdayand the workers at Trader Joe's,
that's two things I didyesterday that made me really
thankful.
For those people in my life.
And and that's very lightheartedand, in comparison to brakes and
(08:40):
not having access to water orair conditioning.
And then of course, incomparison to what's going on
with poor Megan Kromer, we justhope she's found right, right
away.
All these different levels ofthings, right?
All these different levels ofthings and helpers is All
important.
Hess (08:57):
What about this system, Delbert, that immediately, she's
missing at 5 56 this morningimmediately.
This can get spread out toeverybody.
That's Showing up a long timeago and being able to put this
system in place.
Delbert (09:11):
Exactly.
Exactly.
I sure hope they find her soon.
Hess (09:15):
Delbert and also we can't discredit the little things that
we can do that help.
Go ahead and tell our podstersyou, our last pod you were gonna
go out in the heat to to workthe grill, the Blackstone Grill
at Turner's.
Was.
Delbert (09:30):
that was a small thing, but I did last Sunday I did, I
worked, the grill at Turner'shad so much fun.
And it's super casual.
We're just making burgers andhot dogs and brats.
And then we've got a littlesection where we don't let any
of the meat touch where we haveveggie burgers and we have a
special spatula for that.
And it was so stinking hot.
I had a big bandana that I'dsoaked in ice around my neck
(09:53):
and.
The other girl that was workingwith me, I said, now if you need
to go jump in the pool and comeback, and so we gave each other
brakes to go cool off and youcould jump in the pool and get
cooled off.
And by the time you walked backto the station, you were dry.
It's just so hot out right now.
Hess (10:10):
Funny.
So you Hey, you need a break.
You go jump in that pool.
But you were also saying, Hey,I'm gonna do the same
Delbert (10:17):
Heck yeah.
Yeah.
Yesterday I had a really roughday at work.
I had some things go wrong andand I just went down to Turner's
and looked at the river and andjumped in the pool and I
thought, I.
I'm so lucky.
I'm so fortunate.
Life is good.
I can do this.
And I'm famous for, keeping abathing suit and afloat and
(10:38):
things like that in my car inthe summer because my job is
very stressful and I'm sothankful for being able to take
little brakes like that.
So yeah, shout out to everybodythat worked hard at Turner's to
get everything open this summer.
We were under water just a monthago.
Hess (10:57):
Yeah, all those helpers that helped
Delbert (10:59):
Yeah.
My goodness.
All volunteers.
Yeah.
Hess (11:03):
How far up did the water get there?
At Turner's
Delbert (11:07):
It, the snack bar, which is set for pretty far back
from the river was completely,that's got our bathrooms and
shower rooms and our snack barthat was completely under water.
Hess (11:19):
completely all the way up past the roof.
Delbert (11:21):
Yeah, and you couldn't even access the road.
So it took a while for people toget there, to start doing
things.
But eventually, once the riverrecedes enough, you can get in
there with waiters and peoplehad to walk in, people had to
walk in to start doing stuff,but our lifeguard chairs got
washed away and all of our poolchairs got washed away.
(11:41):
So we've got all, it'sbeautiful, we've got all new red
umbrellas, we've got all new.
Lounge chairs and lifeguardchairs.
Usually part of the opening ispainting the lifeguard chairs,
and I'm like we don't have topaint the lifeguard chairs this
year.
Hess (11:57):
Lifeguard chairs might be floating past Memphis right now
or
Delbert (12:00):
They might be.
They might be.
Can you imagine all thatfloating down the river,
goodness sake.
And anyway, I'm very thankfulfor people who are just.
In a good mindset, in a positiveframe of mind.
'cause you're keeping thatpositive vibe going in the
universe is very important.
(12:21):
Mr.
Rogers said, of course, look forthe helpers, the people that are
always there to help you.
But I love this quote.
He says, if you want to achieveultimate success, number one,
always be kind.
Number two, always be kind.
Number three, always be kind.
Hess (12:40):
Ultimate success.
Delbert (12:42):
success really is just to be kind.
Hess (12:46):
Absolutely.
And then you send out thatatmosphere that you're living in
too, and it feels a whole lotbetter.
Delbert (12:52):
Yeah, exactly.
Hess (12:54):
It's win-win.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if, oh, Mike water had showedup here and I'm just so pissed
and angry and pissed and
Delbert (13:03):
right.
Hess (13:04):
And I'm like, here, it's again, you didn't fix it.
Yes you would.
But, now I'm like, Hey man,thank you so much.
Yeah, I know you're going to doit.
Thank you so much.
I'm down there FaceTiming him at10 30 in, at night showing him
the pressure switch, and just,I, there would've been no good
if I hadn't been kind
Delbert (13:22):
Attitude is everything.
Exactly.
And I.
Hess (13:27):
is the altitude in which you live.
Delbert (13:30):
Exactly and knowing when we need help.
You know that quote that says,you can do anything you set your
mind to for sure, but you can'tdo everything.
You just can't.
And you gotta ask for help.
And that's hard for me sometimes'cause I'm a multitasker and I
try to feel, because, I do livealone.
(13:52):
I try to feel super empowered,by doing things.
And sometimes I'll fix somethingand I'll say, yes, aha.
But yeah, I can't do everythingand I've gotta remember that.
Hess (14:03):
Sometimes you can't get that smoke detector put up
there,
Delbert (14:05):
Dang it.
Sometimes I can't get the smokedetector put up and it's very
important.
Hess (14:10):
Yeah.
So that a hundred percent.
Now we came back from ourBethany Beach trip and I got
some stuff from Beth Hamer somethings I say now, like a hundred
percent,
Delbert (14:19):
a hundred percent trust and believe.
Love it.
And Terry says, trust butverify, which I love.
Yeah.
Hess (14:29):
But verify.
Delbert (14:31):
And being in the gold light, that was a good big
takeaway from the trip being inthe gold light of protection.
We would do that and send out abig gold light to the whole wide
world when we were on the beachin the morning.
Hess (14:43):
So another thing, Beth.
Beth, thing Beth says is pointtaken.
So point taken point.
Taken Delbert and pos you got tobe able to know.
That it's a, you give somebody agift when you ask for help Show
up and do something for
Delbert (14:59):
You're helping their endorphins.
Right on.
Yeah.
Hess (15:03):
It circles back to Bert is notice, feel, be with the
feeling, and then take the nextbest step.
And the next best step might beable to, might be saying, Hey, I
need some help.
Delbert (15:17):
And you wanted to talk about, wanted to circle back
since it's still June on Pridemonth, last podcast.
You had something to say aboutthat.
Hess (15:27):
Something about that.
Remember it was the EdithWindsor case that helped take
down doma.
And DOMA was the Defense ofMarriage Act that had been put
in place and it prevented gayrights in gay marriage.
Edith Windsor and Thea.
They were a same-sex couple andthey were residing in New York.
(15:47):
And their marriage had beenrecognized by the state of New
York in 2008.
And when Thea died in 2009, sheleft her entire estate to
Windsor.
Now what's pretty cool is thesewomen, men, they were right on,
they were really good in all thework they did.
One of them was like one of theinitial IBM programmers and
stuff like that.
(16:08):
Crazy.
Thea left her entire estate toher wife.
Edith and Edith sought to claimthe federal estate tax exemption
for the surviving sp spouses,but she was barred because of
that doma.
So she was seeking a refund.
She had to pay something like.
(16:28):
in estate taxes or somethingthat in a regular hetero
marriage, it would've just beenpassed through.
She went Let's see.
She went to a bunch of ofdifferent advocates.
She went to several gay rightadvocacy groups to try to
represent her, but nobody wouldtake her case.
(16:49):
And then finally she wasre-referred to Roberta Kaplan.
That's Robbie Kaplan.
And Robbie was a partner at thelaw firm, Paul Weiss.
Fricking wanted and Garrison andRobbie recalls when I heard her
story, when I heard Edith'sstory, it took me about five
seconds, maybe less, to agree torepresent her.
(17:11):
just amazing that Robbie showsup and is a helper.
And I wouldn't be sitting hereright now being married since
this happened.
And being with my partner for 30years and married for as long as
it was legal.
I wouldn't be sitting here rightnow married.
If it wasn't for Robbie takingthat case saying, yes I'll do
it.
Delbert (17:32):
A big helper.
Thanks, Robbie.
Hess (17:35):
Still doing more to do great things.
She represented Delbert, the LeeCarroll that filed sexual
assault and defamation caseagainst Trump, and she won.
Delbert (17:47):
Oh E.
Jean, Carol.
Hess (17:49):
E Yeah, E.
Jean Carroll.
And Trump owes her like$85million and it's being accrued
9% interest every day.
And E.
Jean says, I'm gonna use thismoney for good stuff.
I'm gonna use it for everything.
He hates climate change, gayrights, and all kinds of stuff.
It just spreads.
When you help somebody, itspreads Even if you're, even if
(18:12):
you're, even if you're workingat a store, your smile, it
spreads.
comes in the door.
Delbert (18:19):
We're grateful for all the helpers and all the people
doing their very best everysingle day.
Hess (18:26):
Amen.
Amen to that.
just good stuff.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.
I love that.
Delbert (18:32):
Yeah, that's all you need to know.
Hess (18:36):
That's all you need to know.
So what else can we say?
Just it's a gift and it'sbeautiful and all these
individuals one cool thing Mikehas Woody Waters sun with him.
And they're just laughing andteasing each other and they're
just, it's just
Delbert (18:53):
Having a good time while they're working on that.
That's part of what it's allabout too.
And you gotta laugh through it,right?
You gotta laugh through it.
Hess (19:01):
Yeah Mike gets this other plumber to repack.
This all started a week ago onSunday where I had two little
valves leaking in the bathroomand we were trying to tighten
them down.
They're just like those valvesthat you have at a waterfall, a
hose, but they're the pipes thatbringing water to the barn
anyway.
okay, just try to tighten themdown.
But they were still leaking.
(19:21):
Anyway, that's how it allstarted.
But, and then domino from thereanyway, any who?
Mike Water called one of his,one of his buddies, another
plumber.
He says, yeah, a plumber.
Be better just to pack those.
So of course I had two toiletsthat needed to be fixed too.
Delbert when the plumber came.
So I meet the plumber and I say,I'm just gonna pay him cash.
(19:43):
'cause he's coming late on a.
Late in the day, and I'm justgonna pay him cash.
I have some cash in my pocket.
And he's down there fixing thepipe in the barn and then fixing
that toilet.
And I tell him about, I said,you wouldn't really mind to come
up and do that toilet up at thehouse, would you?
And he goes, no, will.
So then he comes up to thehouse, and then I'm walking out
with him and I go, oh, youdidn't park up here?
(20:04):
He goes, no, I'm a hiker.
I've walked the wholeAppalachian trail and he telling
Delbert (20:08):
Wow.
Hess (20:09):
these.
Delbert (20:09):
Oh, that's so cool.
Hess (20:11):
He's telling me all his stories of the hike, the white
mountains and climbing out MountWashington.
And then you couldn't see aboveyour past, your hand.
And he's telling me all thesestories and I'm listening and
everybody's got a story and it'sof the helpers have stories and
you're, and just it was itenriched me here and his hiking
stories.
So he's no, heck, I can walkdown to the barn.
(20:33):
I could walk up to the housefrom there.
I'm a hiker.
Delbert (20:36):
The hiker.
Love it.
Love it.
Hess (20:40):
The gift, yeah, the gift.
You gave that gal saying, yeah,take a break.
Go jump in the pool.
Yeah.
Sweet.
Delbert (20:47):
I am listening to his story and we all wanna be heard,
right?
We just all wanna be heard.
We wanna feel good Pos, we loveyou so much.
We wanna leave you on a note ofBe kind.
Be kind to other people in thisworld, and be kind to yourself.
Hess (21:06):
It's kinda like your thing with real estate, Bert, right?
Bert is a fantastic real estateagent.
It, the most important thingabout real estate is the most
important thing about being inthe world is be kind.
Delbert (21:19):
Exactly.
And if you're in Kentucky or ourneighboring states, please be on
the lookout for
Hess (21:27):
Yes.
Yeah.
Delbert (21:31):
that black Nissan from that alert all.
Hess (21:36):
Call 9 1 1.
Hey, we love you.
Thanks for tuning in.
Please like share, send it to afriend you might, might like to
listen to it.
Peace and love.
Delbert (21:45):
We love you friends.
Peace and love.
Hey you all, thanks so much for tuning in.
We so appreciate you.
We so appreciate you joining ourweekly conversation.
Maybe with this conversationcould help raise you up a little
bit.
It always raises Delbert and Iup.
My name's Hess and I'm sittingin the white chair by my bedroom
window looking out at the farm.
Delbert (00:21):
And I'm Delbert.
Good morning from Louisville,Kentucky.
It is a beautiful sunny morning.
It's supposed to rain againtoday, but I am on the green
couch just soaking it all in,all the sunshine in.
And talking to Hess and you allthis morning, I hope you've had
a great week.
Hess has had a great week, butshe's also had a lot of things
(00:43):
that she needed help with on thefarm in her world.
And so it inspired us to talkabout the helpers that are out
there in the world, Hess telleverybody a little bit about all
the things that happened withyou in the past week, but
actually six weeks maybe to.
Hess (01:01):
Our AC went out.
We have geothermal furnace, andgot the right people able to
slide a new one in there.
It's just, I'm I've had a wholelot of stuff go down and need to
be fixed and it's, I'm justtouched, there's a problem, but
there's somebody that can showup that's so good at what needs
to be done.
(01:22):
fix it.
And so I, let's see what all isgoing on that geothermal
furnace.
I didn't have brakes on my boattrailer.
And I'm about to haul up toCanada.
And my guy that cha changes thewheel bearings.
He goes, you don't have anybrake fluid in your cylinder.
And I'm like, what?
And he goes, you gotta leaksomewhere.
It ends up the guy that's withhim.
He can do brakes.
(01:43):
He gets it all fixed with theproper stuff to do it.
That's not gonna get, get hurtby water,'cause you gotta dip
that trailer all the way backinto the water and sometimes
it's salt water.
Anyway, that and the water hereat the farm, we have well water
folks and it's wonderful.
Good taste in well water.
And it's 25 gallons per minutethat it produces.
(02:07):
It's only 65 feet deep.
There was not city water here.
At 44 70 old Frankfort Pike.
I'm telling y'all where I live,but there wasn't any water out
here from the city.
I'm in the west end, west sideof Fayette County.
we dug a well, anyway, my waterwas coming in and out and I had
this wonderful guy, Mike I havehim in my phone as Mike Water.
(02:31):
Another guy that works with himis Woody Water, and another guy
that works with him is TimWater.
And they all showed up.
And Mike was, Mike had his, likehis Sherlock Holmes hat on just
over a four day period.
He get this fixed and then allof a sudden that turned on the
water and there's no water.
Then he fixed that.
Anyway, there's a lot ofcomponents of well water, like
(02:52):
bladder tank pressure, pumppressure switch, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
So anyway that's all done.
It just.
I'm lucky that economically Ican pay for these fixes and
these people deserve the moneythat they get for their talent
to be able to fix stuff.
So that, that kind of is whatit's about for me.
(03:13):
Delbert is just feeling blessedby the people that can show up
in my life and do what needs tobe done because they have the
talent and treasure to do it.
Delbert (03:23):
Exactly, and listening about your boat and the farm and
the well and your geo.
It's a lot of headache for sure,but you're so fortunate, you're
so fortunate and then doubleblessed to have these.
Wonderful helpers that come andhelp you on your farm.
Hess (03:42):
Yeah, and I wanna say a little bit more this about that
Delbert, its connection.
The relationships that thesepeople know that they're gonna
get paid for their services thatI really admire and respect
them.
They feel it.
It's about relationship thatmakes that that, that helps all
(04:03):
of this happen.
And I go back to a week agoFriday.
When I got to tour with Victor,who has Roaring Brook recovery
services here in Lexington,Victor and one of his associates
went with me to tour the Healingplace.
Up in Louisville.
That's just such an amazingplace.
(04:25):
Like a 60, 70% success rate.
It's a long-term peer-drivenfacility.
And the helpers are people thatwere in addiction, peer led.
There's no bullshit.
I know the story.
I know you might be lying.
You gotta show up here.
I showed up here.
This was my struggle.
And it, and they're all helpers.
Every individual person will endup being one of the helpers.
Delbert (04:49):
That's a beautiful part about that program and there's
just so many different helpersin so many different ways and so
many different parts of ourlives.
I love the Healing Place, and Ilove your connection to it and
your family's devotion to it,and just all the people that it
truly helps and how once theyget into recovery, like you
(05:12):
said, they become the helpersand that empowers them.
There's something that I lookedup when I was thinking about.
Talking about this today, that'scalled a helper's high.
And it's just natural endorphinsthat you get when you help
someone.
And that's why doing servicework or doing something to help
(05:32):
others when you're down is suchgood rehabilitation because you
just get this natural high andthis endorphin from.
Helping people and probably theguys that were working on your
well and your brakes, they get alittle bit of a rush from being
appreciated by you, but also,being the detective and solving
all these problems.
(05:53):
I'm thinking about trader Joe's,when I go in there, I feel like
I'm doing something so healthyfor myself.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, so this is real life here.
We've got a an alert, we've gotan Amber alert, so we'll go
(06:16):
ahead and say that endangeredadult Megan Kromer 33, missing
from Rock Castle County,Kentucky.
Since this morning at 5:51 AMshe's.
5 7, 2 30 pounds.
Brown hair, blue eyes.
They are unsure of what she waswearing at the time, but she may
be in a black 2016 Nissan Altimawith Kentucky plates.
(06:41):
N three three eight.
Call 9 1 1.
Do not approach.
Let's all be on the lookout forthat sweet person.
Let's be a helper for her.
Hess (06:50):
Wow.
This is something else how MeganKromer she needs, she.
She needs some helpers.
Wow.
What a serendipitous momenthere.
Delbert.
This big alert happen on ourphones,
Delbert (07:02):
Right.
Hess (07:02):
you all heard that in the background.
So your phone was lighting upsimultaneously.
It's like bouncing off.
Satellites, way out in space,And she needs some help.
Delbert (07:12):
Wow.
And the helper's big and small.
When I first think about it, Ithink about the emergency
workers, the policemen, thefiremen, the doctors, the
nurses, all these people thatare that we really relate to as
helpers.
I.
And, but gosh, in so many otherways, I was just getting ready
to say when I go to TraderJoe's, I'm automatically in a
(07:34):
good mood because everybodythere is so eager to help you.
They're so polite, they're sohappy, they're so happy to work
there.
And it just creates this, I lovea vibe.
It just creates this wonderfulgood vibe.
It makes you feel, you're buyingthis organic produce and all
this organic, dairy products andthings and good homemade breads
(07:57):
and things, and you're justfeeling so good about yourself
and then the people there aremaking you feel so good.
That's just what we want in theworld with all the despair right
now, with all the wars and allthe things that are going on in
this world right now.
We need to really think aboutthe good and help lift each
other up.
(08:18):
Think about all the good in thisworld.
And one of the things that I'mthankful for is lifeguards at
Turner's.
'cause I went swimming yesterdayand the workers at Trader Joe's,
that's two things I didyesterday that made me really
thankful.
For those people in my life.
And and that's very lightheartedand, in comparison to brakes and
(08:40):
not having access to water orair conditioning.
And then of course, incomparison to what's going on
with poor Megan Kromer, we justhope she's found right, right
away.
All these different levels ofthings, right?
All these different levels ofthings and helpers is All
important.
Hess (08:57):
What about this system, Delbert, that immediately, she's
missing at 5 56 this morningimmediately.
This can get spread out toeverybody.
That's Showing up a long timeago and being able to put this
system in place.
Delbert (09:11):
Exactly.
Exactly.
I sure hope they find her soon.
Hess (09:15):
Delbert and also we can't discredit the little things that
we can do that help.
Go ahead and tell our podstersyou, our last pod you were gonna
go out in the heat to to workthe grill, the Blackstone Grill
at Turner's.
Was.
Delbert (09:30):
that was a small thing, but I did last Sunday I did, I
worked, the grill at Turner'shad so much fun.
And it's super casual.
We're just making burgers andhot dogs and brats.
And then we've got a littlesection where we don't let any
of the meat touch where we haveveggie burgers and we have a
special spatula for that.
And it was so stinking hot.
I had a big bandana that I'dsoaked in ice around my neck
(09:53):
and.
The other girl that was workingwith me, I said, now if you need
to go jump in the pool and comeback, and so we gave each other
brakes to go cool off and youcould jump in the pool and get
cooled off.
And by the time you walked backto the station, you were dry.
It's just so hot out right now.
Hess (10:10):
Funny.
So you Hey, you need a break.
You go jump in that pool.
But you were also saying, Hey,I'm gonna do the same
Delbert (10:17):
Heck yeah.
Yeah.
Yesterday I had a really roughday at work.
I had some things go wrong andand I just went down to Turner's
and looked at the river and andjumped in the pool and I
thought, I.
I'm so lucky.
I'm so fortunate.
Life is good.
I can do this.
And I'm famous for, keeping abathing suit and afloat and
(10:38):
things like that in my car inthe summer because my job is
very stressful and I'm sothankful for being able to take
little brakes like that.
So yeah, shout out to everybodythat worked hard at Turner's to
get everything open this summer.
We were under water just a monthago.
Hess (10:57):
Yeah, all those helpers that helped
Delbert (10:59):
Yeah.
My goodness.
All volunteers.
Yeah.
Hess (11:03):
How far up did the water get there?
At Turner's
Delbert (11:07):
It, the snack bar, which is set for pretty far back
from the river was completely,that's got our bathrooms and
shower rooms and our snack barthat was completely under water.
Hess (11:19):
completely all the way up past the roof.
Delbert (11:21):
Yeah, and you couldn't even access the road.
So it took a while for people toget there, to start doing
things.
But eventually, once the riverrecedes enough, you can get in
there with waiters and peoplehad to walk in, people had to
walk in to start doing stuff,but our lifeguard chairs got
washed away and all of our poolchairs got washed away.
(11:41):
So we've got all, it'sbeautiful, we've got all new red
umbrellas, we've got all new.
Lounge chairs and lifeguardchairs.
Usually part of the opening ispainting the lifeguard chairs,
and I'm like we don't have topaint the lifeguard chairs this
year.
Hess (11:57):
Lifeguard chairs might be floating past Memphis right now
or
Delbert (12:00):
They might be.
They might be.
Can you imagine all thatfloating down the river,
goodness sake.
And anyway, I'm very thankfulfor people who are just.
In a good mindset, in a positiveframe of mind.
'cause you're keeping thatpositive vibe going in the
universe is very important.
(12:21):
Mr.
Rogers said, of course, look forthe helpers, the people that are
always there to help you.
But I love this quote.
He says, if you want to achieveultimate success, number one,
always be kind.
Number two, always be kind.
Number three, always be kind.
Hess (12:40):
Ultimate success.
Delbert (12:42):
success really is just to be kind.
Hess (12:46):
Absolutely.
And then you send out thatatmosphere that you're living in
too, and it feels a whole lotbetter.
Delbert (12:52):
Yeah, exactly.
Hess (12:54):
It's win-win.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if, oh, Mike water had showedup here and I'm just so pissed
and angry and pissed and
Delbert (13:03):
right.
Hess (13:04):
And I'm like, here, it's again, you didn't fix it.
Yes you would.
But, now I'm like, Hey man,thank you so much.
Yeah, I know you're going to doit.
Thank you so much.
I'm down there FaceTiming him at10 30 in, at night showing him
the pressure switch, and just,I, there would've been no good
if I hadn't been kind
Delbert (13:22):
Attitude is everything.
Exactly.
And I.
Hess (13:27):
is the altitude in which you live.
Delbert (13:30):
Exactly and knowing when we need help.
You know that quote that says,you can do anything you set your
mind to for sure, but you can'tdo everything.
You just can't.
And you gotta ask for help.
And that's hard for me sometimes'cause I'm a multitasker and I
try to feel, because, I do livealone.
(13:52):
I try to feel super empowered,by doing things.
And sometimes I'll fix somethingand I'll say, yes, aha.
But yeah, I can't do everythingand I've gotta remember that.
Hess (14:03):
Sometimes you can't get that smoke detector put up
there,
Delbert (14:05):
Dang it.
Sometimes I can't get the smokedetector put up and it's very
important.
Hess (14:10):
Yeah.
So that a hundred percent.
Now we came back from ourBethany Beach trip and I got
some stuff from Beth Hamer somethings I say now, like a hundred
percent,
Delbert (14:19):
a hundred percent trust and believe.
Love it.
And Terry says, trust butverify, which I love.
Yeah.
Hess (14:29):
But verify.
Delbert (14:31):
And being in the gold light, that was a good big
takeaway from the trip being inthe gold light of protection.
We would do that and send out abig gold light to the whole wide
world when we were on the beachin the morning.
Hess (14:43):
So another thing, Beth.
Beth, thing Beth says is pointtaken.
So point taken point.
Taken Delbert and pos you got tobe able to know.
That it's a, you give somebody agift when you ask for help Show
up and do something for
Delbert (14:59):
You're helping their endorphins.
Right on.
Yeah.
Hess (15:03):
It circles back to Bert is notice, feel, be with the
feeling, and then take the nextbest step.
And the next best step might beable to, might be saying, Hey, I
need some help.
Delbert (15:17):
And you wanted to talk about, wanted to circle back
since it's still June on Pridemonth, last podcast.
You had something to say aboutthat.
Hess (15:27):
Something about that.
Remember it was the EdithWindsor case that helped take
down doma.
And DOMA was the Defense ofMarriage Act that had been put
in place and it prevented gayrights in gay marriage.
Edith Windsor and Thea.
They were a same-sex couple andthey were residing in New York.
(15:47):
And their marriage had beenrecognized by the state of New
York in 2008.
And when Thea died in 2009, sheleft her entire estate to
Windsor.
Now what's pretty cool is thesewomen, men, they were right on,
they were really good in all thework they did.
One of them was like one of theinitial IBM programmers and
stuff like that.
(16:08):
Crazy.
Thea left her entire estate toher wife.
Edith and Edith sought to claimthe federal estate tax exemption
for the surviving sp spouses,but she was barred because of
that doma.
So she was seeking a refund.
She had to pay something like.
(16:28):
in estate taxes or somethingthat in a regular hetero
marriage, it would've just beenpassed through.
She went Let's see.
She went to a bunch of ofdifferent advocates.
She went to several gay rightadvocacy groups to try to
represent her, but nobody wouldtake her case.
(16:49):
And then finally she wasre-referred to Roberta Kaplan.
That's Robbie Kaplan.
And Robbie was a partner at thelaw firm, Paul Weiss.
Fricking wanted and Garrison andRobbie recalls when I heard her
story, when I heard Edith'sstory, it took me about five
seconds, maybe less, to agree torepresent her.
(17:11):
just amazing that Robbie showsup and is a helper.
And I wouldn't be sitting hereright now being married since
this happened.
And being with my partner for 30years and married for as long as
it was legal.
I wouldn't be sitting here rightnow married.
If it wasn't for Robbie takingthat case saying, yes I'll do
it.
Delbert (17:32):
A big helper.
Thanks, Robbie.
Hess (17:35):
Still doing more to do great things.
She represented Delbert, the LeeCarroll that filed sexual
assault and defamation caseagainst Trump, and she won.
Delbert (17:47):
Oh E.
Jean, Carol.
Hess (17:49):
E Yeah, E.
Jean Carroll.
And Trump owes her like$85million and it's being accrued
9% interest every day.
And E.
Jean says, I'm gonna use thismoney for good stuff.
I'm gonna use it for everything.
He hates climate change, gayrights, and all kinds of stuff.
It just spreads.
When you help somebody, itspreads Even if you're, even if
(18:12):
you're, even if you're workingat a store, your smile, it
spreads.
comes in the door.
Delbert (18:19):
We're grateful for all the helpers and all the people
doing their very best everysingle day.
Hess (18:26):
Amen.
Amen to that.
just good stuff.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Be kind.
I love that.
Delbert (18:32):
Yeah, that's all you need to know.
Hess (18:36):
That's all you need to know.
So what else can we say?
Just it's a gift and it'sbeautiful and all these
individuals one cool thing Mikehas Woody Waters sun with him.
And they're just laughing andteasing each other and they're
just, it's just
Delbert (18:53):
Having a good time while they're working on that.
That's part of what it's allabout too.
And you gotta laugh through it,right?
You gotta laugh through it.
Hess (19:01):
Yeah Mike gets this other plumber to repack.
This all started a week ago onSunday where I had two little
valves leaking in the bathroomand we were trying to tighten
them down.
They're just like those valvesthat you have at a waterfall, a
hose, but they're the pipes thatbringing water to the barn
anyway.
okay, just try to tighten themdown.
But they were still leaking.
(19:21):
Anyway, that's how it allstarted.
But, and then domino from thereanyway, any who?
Mike Water called one of his,one of his buddies, another
plumber.
He says, yeah, a plumber.
Be better just to pack those.
So of course I had two toiletsthat needed to be fixed too.
Delbert when the plumber came.
So I meet the plumber and I say,I'm just gonna pay him cash.
(19:43):
'cause he's coming late on a.
Late in the day, and I'm justgonna pay him cash.
I have some cash in my pocket.
And he's down there fixing thepipe in the barn and then fixing
that toilet.
And I tell him about, I said,you wouldn't really mind to come
up and do that toilet up at thehouse, would you?
And he goes, no, will.
So then he comes up to thehouse, and then I'm walking out
with him and I go, oh, youdidn't park up here?
(20:04):
He goes, no, I'm a hiker.
I've walked the wholeAppalachian trail and he telling
Delbert (20:08):
Wow.
Hess (20:09):
these.
Delbert (20:09):
Oh, that's so cool.
Hess (20:11):
He's telling me all his stories of the hike, the white
mountains and climbing out MountWashington.
And then you couldn't see aboveyour past, your hand.
And he's telling me all thesestories and I'm listening and
everybody's got a story and it'sof the helpers have stories and
you're, and just it was itenriched me here and his hiking
stories.
So he's no, heck, I can walkdown to the barn.
(20:33):
I could walk up to the housefrom there.
I'm a hiker.
Delbert (20:36):
The hiker.
Love it.
Love it.
Hess (20:40):
The gift, yeah, the gift.
You gave that gal saying, yeah,take a break.
Go jump in the pool.
Yeah.
Sweet.
Delbert (20:47):
I am listening to his story and we all wanna be heard,
right?
We just all wanna be heard.
We wanna feel good Pos, we loveyou so much.
We wanna leave you on a note ofBe kind.
Be kind to other people in thisworld, and be kind to yourself.
Hess (21:06):
It's kinda like your thing with real estate, Bert, right?
Bert is a fantastic real estateagent.
It, the most important thingabout real estate is the most
important thing about being inthe world is be kind.
Delbert (21:19):
Exactly.
And if you're in Kentucky or ourneighboring states, please be on
the lookout for
Hess (21:27):
Yes.
Yeah.
Delbert (21:31):
that black Nissan from that alert all.
Hess (21:36):
Call 9 1 1.
Hey, we love you.
Thanks for tuning in.
Please like share, send it to afriend you might, might like to
listen to it.
Peace and love.
Delbert (21:45):
We love you friends.
Peace and love.
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