April 27, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode, lifelong friends Hess and Delbert engage in a heartfelt conversation while reflecting on their individual lives, shared history, and current events. They discuss the beauty of nature, the importance of finding 'your tribe,' and the significance of having meaningful and supportive conversations. They also touch on lessons from Brené Brown's resilience work, share memories of loved ones, and highlight the enduring impact of positive public figures like Governor Andy Beshear and Pope Francis. Join Hess and Delbert as they explore themes of connection, healing, and moving forward through the challenges life presents.
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey, thanks so much for joining us to let me tell you
this about that.
I'm Hess.
I'm sitting in my white chairlooking at out my backyard at
the farm.
Delbert (00:12):
Good morning.
It's me, Delbert from the greencouch, as always looking out my
big picture window and.
It's not really a pink andpurpley kind of swirl.
A it's more just a beautifulyellow sunrise coming out of the
clouds.
Gorgeous.
Hess (00:31):
The sun's coming up
Delbert (00:32):
It's,
Hess (00:32):
and earlier.
Delbert.
Delbert (00:34):
I know, I, I love spring and summer.
It's beautiful.
Oh gosh.
It's Derby week here inLouisville, so that's a big
deal.
But the reason that MayorFarsley planned derby.
For the first week in May isbecause all the dogwoods, all
the flower trees are blooming.
(00:54):
It's very lush and green.
It's very beautiful here.
So he wanted people to come andsee our city.
At its most beautiful time ofyear, I.
Hess (01:04):
Yeah, it is so beautiful right now, Delbert, you were
talking about how, and this iswhy you all, this is why we
started this podcast, so let mejust refresh you all on That is
Delbert and I, we go back tofirst grade, our mother of good
counsel.
about to turn 67.
(01:24):
Delbert turns 67 in January,house 67.
feel Delbert.
Delbert (01:29):
It is awesome.
I told you, like I, I got offRoute 66 up onto the 67 ramp and
it's been good cruising eversince.
Hess (01:39):
Cool.
Delbert (01:40):
Been awesome.
I've only had one spiritualcrisis this year and we I've
worked through it, so I'm good.
I'm golden.
Hess (01:48):
Yeah, so we go way back and we've been crisscrossing
lives for, we've been braidingour lives together.
Sometimes we know it, sometimeswe don't.
And about six years ago, eightyears ago, we're sitting in the
back.
Of my boat, the Relation Ship,talking about writing our
stories of our lives.
(02:08):
And we began we went beyond theback of the boat to calling each
other every Sunday morning.
And it just it just rights myship.
It helps me anchor in what'simportant to me.
What happened the previous week.
We talk about it, we talk aboutour weeks ahead, and able to
pull anchor.
After those Sunday morning talksand go forward in my week
(02:31):
knowing and just feeling goodhaving a vision and being who I
am.
And we've been a witness to eachother's lives and we all need
that.
And it makes, it just makes mefeel so good.
What So Delbert, I just wantedto give them the background and
you pick up here and say whereyou were last week and how us
talking together helped you.
Delbert (02:51):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
As you all know from some of ourpods that we've done on my
sister Carole and my nieceMeagan they passed during Holy
Week 16 years ago.
And so I always struggled just alittle bit with Holy Week, some
years more than others.
It's really hard for me to wrapmy head around the resurrection
when, my people aren't comingback, and that's just very,
(03:14):
little kid way of putting it.
But and then Francis died too itwas just on the struggle bus a
little bit.
And I talked to Hess about itand told her how I was feeling
and she really helped me justput things in place like we
always do with each other on ourSunday talk.
And by the time we finished ourpod last Sunday, I.
(03:37):
Made Easter dinner and hid myEaster eggs and had the most
wonderful time with my family.
So that really was myresurrection.
And as Hess says, without thecrucifixion, there is no
resurrection.
And I hope all of you out therelistening, find your people,
find your tribe, find yourbounce back, your people that
(03:57):
listen to you and bear witnessto your life.
It's so important to just have aspringboard, a sounding board,
somebody that listens, thatunderstands without judgment and
just lets you be you.
Hess (04:14):
You had said that you had hit a crisis point and what you
talked about with us to me thatmorning was the pictures of the
prison camp in El Salvadorreally reminded you that is a
concentration camp and remindedyou of the stories of your
(04:34):
grandpa.
Freeing the people after the warwas over, he was one of the
first infantries that went into, to free a certain
concentration camp and how theycould smell it from 10 miles
away and so on.
You were just like, HEss I don'tknow if we, you know about
talking about somethingpolitical, but No, this is about
(04:57):
humanity.
This is about.
Us as people, you talked aboutit and it helped you talk about
it.
You felt how much it botheredyou, and then you talked about
it and you told me that I gaveyou permission to talk about it.
Delbert (05:12):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Hess (05:14):
go ahead.
Delbert (05:15):
No, I'm, no, you did.
Because we had said, we wannatry to make sure that our
podcast, stays clean.
That we wanna make sure thateverybody feels welcome to
listen.
But sometimes I think if we'rehaving a struggle and we feel
like something needs to be said,that it's, this is the place to
(05:36):
say it because we're just atsuch a time in our country where
we really need to speak up whenwe see injustice.
And we also need to remember tobe civil and cordial to each
other.
And yeah.
Yeah.
And so has, I told her about mystruggle that morning before we
(05:57):
did the podcast Easter morningand she just said, let's do it,
Delbert.
Let's do it.
What a gift that is to have afriend that says, yeah let's go
ahead and bend our own rules alittle bit.
The, with the idea of doingwhat's right.
I think we always have to dothat.
We were raised in the Catholicchurch.
(06:18):
We had wonderful role models inour priests and nuns.
We had a wonderful experiencegrowing up, and so we're trying
to stick with our truths here,
Hess (06:28):
And we got, we wanna be the model of conversation,
helping us work through
Delbert (06:33):
right.
Hess (06:33):
Even if it might be with somebody that has an opposite
opinion that they can cross.
A bridge into your world and youcan have a kind listening
conversation, being able tocross the bridge into each
other's world.
So thank you all for joining usfor last week's podcast you
crossed the bridge into world ofwhat her struggle was.
(06:57):
And it's not, I, people saystruggle bus.
Gosh, it's more than a bus.
It's
Delbert (07:05):
could be an entire freeway.
Yeah.
Or it could be.
It feels like you're justtrapped in a small place, right?
When we talk about sitting withit, getting some movement, try
to get yourself out of that.
Out of that role.
Hess (07:23):
with, you have to sit with it first and your mama told you,
just shake it off.
But you're like, Hey, wait asecond mom.
I wanna sit with her a little
Delbert (07:29):
Yeah.
Hess (07:30):
this.
Delbert (07:31):
Yeah.
Hess (07:31):
it can help us make the steps we need to make to make
the next best step.
Delbert (07:36):
Exactly, and I did on Holy Saturday, I did, I went to
my sister's house and kindahelped her with a little egg
hunt for her grandchildren andhad dinner and came home and did
my holy Saturday fire and mylittle fire pit.
And.
I did the color packets and allthe beautiful colors and just
sat with it, sat with my sadnessabout some things, and and it
(08:01):
helped me, like we say, don'tsit there too long, but go ahead
and sit there if you need to andreally live with it and try to
figure it out.
And then, talk to your family,talk to your friends.
Figure it out.
Get it right.
With your own mindset.
And so we talked about what ourresurrections were for the week
(08:23):
and mine was just really talkingto Hess, being with my family,
having a lovely Easter, and thenjust getting right back out
there and working again, justgetting right back out with my
clients and being myself.
And that's the best thing youcan be.
HEss and I talked a little bitlast night about a retreat that
we did and Hess you wanna talkabout Brene Brown a little bit?
Hess (08:49):
Yeah, so I got trained in the Brene Brown work, I think
back in 2019 and in her booksDaring Way I.
It's you gotta be brave.
You gotta be there.
You gotta show up in your arena.
You gotta show up with thevalues that are important to
you, that light your way withrising strong.
If you're, that book is aboutyou will fall, you're in the
(09:10):
arena, you will fall you will befaced down and you gotta be able
to get back up.
And you have to find out who youneed to listen to in your arena.
Not the cheap seats, not thecritics.
I.
Not, sometimes, not the peoplethat built the arena, that's the
establishment, right?
Or the way that you're supposedto be you.
(09:31):
You gotta listen and also becompassionate towards yourself
and you gotta listen to yourmarble jar friends that
encourage you and get back up.
Yeah.
The retreat that we did a yearago, this past January for a
group of different fellowfriends from Sacred Heart, we
covered some of the Brene Brownwork and we're gonna meet back
(09:52):
up again in, in June in BethanyBeach.
We're gathering again together,and we, and do a little bit more
work and get some beach timetoo.
So you gotta, you it's hard workin the arena.
You were faced down Delbert andyou were struggling and you you
got back up this week.
(10:12):
'cause you got back up with thethings that move you forward
that, that get you goingforward.
You you were giving out theEaster food to the kids at
schools.
You were meeting with clients.
You were, opening up clients to,giving people the, those clients
the opportunity to find a housethey love to make a home that
(10:33):
they can their life in.
And it's all moving forward.
It's all taking different stepsto making things better for
yourself and for other people.
Delbert (10:44):
Right and.
Just along that line aboutshowing up and moving forward.
I love our governor, AndyBeshear Hess sent me his
podcast.
I listened to his first podcast,and Hess has already listened to
all three of them.
They're so wonderful and they welove'em because they're.
Positive based, talking aboutworking together, not being red
(11:09):
or blue, R or d.
They're talking about let's moveforward, let's have an open
dialogue and let's make ourcountry the best it can be
together and listen to eachother.
So I love that and I love that.
We have a governor that's outthere putting out a good
positive message.
Hess (11:31):
During the Covid at four o'clock, he would give talks,
and when the first person diedof Covid, he had tears in his
eyes.
He was, it was, yeah.
He would say the person's nameand talk about their life.
Just it was so healing listen tohim at four o'clock every day
(11:52):
and
Delbert (11:52):
Because we had nowhere else to go.
Hess (11:54):
And he'd say, now you can't be doing that.
We gotta watch out for each
Delbert (11:57):
Yeah,
Hess (11:58):
be doing that.
Delbert (11:59):
I love that.
I love that he's so positive.
And so yeah, we invite youfriends to engage with us and to
share your ideas and feelingsand we'd love to hear from you.
Hey Hess, what else?
This week, you doing somethingreally cool at the horse park
(12:20):
this week, aren't you?
Hess (12:22):
So this week at the Kentucky Horse Park is the
Kentucky three day event, and itis a an equestrian sport
Eventing, and you do dressagecross country and stadium
jumping, and the event at theKentucky three day event.
(12:43):
The last weekend of April everyyear is a four and five star
event.
And in the whole world, thereare only like five of these.
Of these events at this categoryfive star event, there are only
five locations every year wherethese are held and this is a
(13:04):
level Delbert that is evenhigher than the Olympic level.
They're doing more difficultstuff, so it was just so fun.
Yesterday was Cross Country Dayand they had the four stars
running in the morning, the fivestars in the afternoon.
And seeing these partnerships.
this horse and rider they havedeveloped this team together
(13:26):
where the horses are started atlower levels.
They get confidence, they moveup to more difficult obstacles.
Higher, wider, and they'reslowly moved up so they don't
get fearful and they work as ateam.
And these horses, Delbert,they're like, okay, where's the
next flags?
Because you at a jump orobstacle, there's a red flag on
(13:47):
the right, white flag on theleft.
And they, the horse with thisteam that's been developed, they
like, they're looking for theflags.
And in some of the obstacles,they're narrow, almost just a
little bit beyond the width ofthe horse and rider.
And the horse goes right rightthrough the middle of these
little narrow obstacles also.
(14:07):
some of'em have different com,different complexes where at
certain jumps there might be.
There might be two or three orfour different obstacles that
they go through four A, B, c, Dor something like that, just one
table in the middle of thefield.
That's just one obstacle.
So anyway, it was so fun, andit's like you said, Delbert
(14:31):
these horse and rider teams arelike in the Brene Brown arena
and a real arena of throughsomething that's really hard.
It was so beautiful to seepictures this morning of some of
the horses coming through thefinish line and ecstatic look on
the rider's faces, these hugs,these cheers people jumping up.
It's just it's something andsomething that lasts a little
(14:54):
bit longer than two minutes ofthe derby, right?
Because
Delbert (14:57):
A little, you get a little more.
We celebrate for a long time,but yeah, the derby doesn't last
very long.
What about the one guy that wasteaching the class?
What he said?
I thought that was so awesome.
Hess (15:09):
Yeah.
Cathy's assistant Nikki wasriding their horse, their horse,
Shack.
In a little clinic yesterday atthe horse park where people
could take a little side venueand Cal Carter teach five
different ride horse and ridercombinations about jumping and
riding the horse.
(15:31):
And one thing he said was tellthe horse what you want it to do
versus keep correcting for whatyou don't want.
Your list would be a lot smallerthen, right?
Delbert (15:46):
Exactly.
It's not so overwhelming.
When you're just planning forwhat you want, going the
direction that you want.
Exactly.
I love that.
So cool.
Hess (15:57):
Yeah.
So good for life.
Delbert (15:59):
Exactly.
Great metaphor for life.
The being in the arena andmoving forward and asking for
what you want.
Not always correct in what youdon't want.
I love that
Hess (16:12):
Bert, I'm seeing a bluebird right over my right
shoulder up in the tree.
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
Delbert (16:19):
you have so many different birds out
Hess (16:22):
I love it.
Delbert (16:23):
at the farm.
Hess (16:24):
Yeah.
Delbert (16:25):
Gorgeous.
Hess (16:27):
Yeah.
And this is something too, Ihave I have on my phone.
Like I was with a client theother day in my office and I
could hear this beautiful soundof this bird.
And while this, while my clientwas doing this exercise, I
surreptitiously, she had hereyes closed.
I surreptitiously pulled up myMerlin app.
(16:47):
On my phone and you can pressrecord and it records the sounds
going on around you.
And it was a beautiful littlewood thrush in the outright,
outside the window.
yeah, so that Merlin app enenables me to know what birds
are out there that I'm justhearing versus seeing, so it
(17:09):
expands.
knowledge of the birds and thesounds and what birds are there,
so it's pretty cool.
Delbert (17:17):
There's a, there was a restaurant here in Louisville.
It's close now, but I just lovedit.
It was right across the streetfrom my office.
It's called o.
And I took you there Hus, but itwas already changed over to
Enzos and it's really good too.
But they had this big patio andI always loved to sit outside on
the patio and the manager alwayshad these bird sounds piped
(17:41):
through with the music.
I was sitting out there with mydaughter one mother's day and we
were just sitting out theretalking, having a glass of wine,
and all of a sudden, like thisblue heron just swoops over the
patio and it is close to theriver.
It's close to river Road wheremy office is, and, we were like,
(18:02):
whoa.
And the manager came out and hegoes, I don't know if the birds
think there's like a bird partygoing on here because I pipe
those bird.
He's but I see more birds here.
And it was just like one of thethings that just added so much
to being there, you're just inthe middle of the city, you're
just birdwatching it.
But anyway it is, it's just sucha delightful thing, whether
(18:24):
you're just sitting on yourporch at home and a little
cardinal bird flies over, orblue bird.
It's just part of the wonder ofnature and the beauty all around
us.
Hess (18:35):
When we were talking last night, Bert, you said you were
gonna go outside and sit on yourpatio and it was so beautiful to
hear your voice.
Also with the birds in thebackground when you were sitting
out there.
Delbert (18:46):
No.
And I usually have littlebunnies that come around that
time of night, but they must begetting ready for derby.
They might have been in theirhutch getting their derby
glasses washed or something, Idon't know.
But,
Hess (18:58):
working on their derby
Delbert (18:59):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Putting some lavender andchamomile flowers together for a
little derby hat.
For sure.
Hess (19:08):
So that, that's just an example.
Just us talking about the birds,how sometimes I can be stuck in
my own thoughts and in my owndemise, and what.
What angst I might be in, and ifI just it and be with it, and
then if I kinda open up a littlebit more, oh, there's birds out
there.
There's things out there.
(19:29):
There's people out there there'sa world out there.
I could go ahead and startwalking out and getting out and.
Delbert (19:38):
Exactly.
It's one of the things that Isaid at the retreat, the reason
I love the sunrise and thesunset so much is because it
involves looking up and out.
Just like getting outta your ownhead and just looking at the
beauty and the wonder.
And right now there's.
Things that aren't so beautifulgoing on in our world.
(19:59):
And it's important to talk about'em.
It's important to be heard in avery calm and healing way.
I wanna listen to everybody.
I wanna listen to everyone'sviewpoint, and I also wanna be
heard.
But we also, when that's done,I.
When the conversation's over,then we look upward and outward
(20:22):
towards the beauty
Hess (20:26):
There's some, there's supposed to be something really
healing about exposing yourselfto the sun for about a half an
hour every morning.
The sun and the light.
Delbert (20:36):
Well, and it gives you a lot of good vitamin D too,
which helps your attitude.
I.
Hess (20:40):
One thing I like about Andy Bess Shear's podcast is
when he has a guest on, he findsout what their why is, And he
says It's so important becausewe always have a why of why we
might think something, or why wegot into what we work what's
important to us.
There's always a big why andwhen we can have these
(21:02):
conversations across the bridgeand to somebody else's world, we
can find out what their why is
Delbert (21:08):
And it's always so interesting, it's so
interesting.
And just in our small littlegroup in our retreat, listening
to everybody's lives, and we allwent to school together.
We're all connected even thoughyou, some of us are a little bit
closer friends than others, butit's just wow, I didn't know
that about you.
Why, just the complete awe andwonder of getting to know
(21:32):
people, getting to know theirwhy.
I listened to the first podcastand Morgan and Morgan attorneys
were on there.
Wow.
What an incredible family andcompany and just integrity and
philosophy they have abouthelping people and how they
built their business on, doingthe right thing.
Hess (21:54):
Yeah.
A bad car accident and hisbrother was in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all good.
It's all good.
My wife Cathy, she always saysit's all good.
And that can r my boat a littlebit when I All good.
There's gonna be something comefrom this.
There's gonna be a resurrection,there's Positivity that comes
(22:16):
from this.
Delbert (22:19):
Exactly.
We're all in this together.
We wanna listen to each otherand be the be absolute best we
can be.
Hess, what's just say one ofyour why's.
You've got a lot of why's,
Hess (22:33):
Oh baby.
We'll do a why on a wholepodcast because my why is pretty
deep.
Delbert (22:37):
is it pretty deep and long.
Okay.
Alright.
Hess (22:41):
Yeah,
Delbert (22:42):
You got a lot to say about this.
About that.
Okay.
Hess (22:45):
I have a lot to say about this, about that,
Delbert (22:47):
and that's too long.
Okay, I'll be trying to workthat up and then pot stirs you
all listen to your why and bethinking about that for the next
time.
Do you wanna do the St.
Francis?
St.
Francis?
I've already canonized him.
Hess (23:04):
Y'all already have.
Delbert (23:05):
my goodness.
I just loved his mercy andtenderness and.
Hess (23:10):
He was a missionary.
Did you see the wooden box thathe is gonna be
Delbert (23:14):
that's what I was just gonna say.
Like I, I love Pope Francis.
I cried a lot watching a lot ofthe coverage about him because
I'm like, why didn't we see atleast one thing about Pope
Francis every day?
He was such a good man.
He is always reaching out,healing people.
Hugging children, kissing themon the head, giving them a
blessing, every day he didthings like this, washing the
(23:37):
feet of the poor appointingwomen to high positions, telling
us to be kind and accepting ofrefugees and immigrants because
he was himself an immigrant.
And to see him going through thestreets of Rome.
In a pickup truck in a simplewooden casket that just said it
(23:57):
all to me.
What a humble and devotedservant of people he was.
And I'm just sad about it.
I hope we get somebody aswonderful as him, but he's
earned his good rest and,
Hess (24:12):
so this is one that I loved.
He said, rivers do not drinktheir own water.
Trees do not eat their ownfruit.
The sun does not shine onitself.
Flowers do not spread theirfragrance for themselves.
Living for others is a rule ofnature.
(24:32):
We're all born to help eachother no matter how difficult it
is.
Life is good when you're happy,but much better when others are
happy because of you.
Yeah.
Delbert (24:48):
Oh, so good.
He's got so many good quotes.
Friends, I'd say if you'rehaving a rough time, look up one
of his quotes.
So beautiful.
The way he, his life
Hess (24:59):
up one that's good for you.
That, that, that fits
Delbert (25:03):
Helps you get your bounce back.
Hess (25:06):
yeah.
Yeah.
So y'all, thanks for listeningtoday.
We love you Hess and peace andlove.
Delbert (25:15):
And I'm Delbert.
Be sure to like and subscribe.
We're on all the podcastplatforms and happy Derby Week.
Peace and love.
We love you friends.
Hey, thanks so much for joining us to let me tell you
this about that.
I'm Hess.
I'm sitting in my white chairlooking at out my backyard at
the farm.
Delbert (00:12):
Good morning.
It's me, Delbert from the greencouch, as always looking out my
big picture window and.
It's not really a pink andpurpley kind of swirl.
A it's more just a beautifulyellow sunrise coming out of the
clouds.
Gorgeous.
Hess (00:31):
The sun's coming up
Delbert (00:32):
It's,
Hess (00:32):
and earlier.
Delbert.
Delbert (00:34):
I know, I, I love spring and summer.
It's beautiful.
Oh gosh.
It's Derby week here inLouisville, so that's a big
deal.
But the reason that MayorFarsley planned derby.
For the first week in May isbecause all the dogwoods, all
the flower trees are blooming.
(00:54):
It's very lush and green.
It's very beautiful here.
So he wanted people to come andsee our city.
At its most beautiful time ofyear, I.
Hess (01:04):
Yeah, it is so beautiful right now, Delbert, you were
talking about how, and this iswhy you all, this is why we
started this podcast, so let mejust refresh you all on That is
Delbert and I, we go back tofirst grade, our mother of good
counsel.
about to turn 67.
(01:24):
Delbert turns 67 in January,house 67.
feel Delbert.
Delbert (01:29):
It is awesome.
I told you, like I, I got offRoute 66 up onto the 67 ramp and
it's been good cruising eversince.
Hess (01:39):
Cool.
Delbert (01:40):
Been awesome.
I've only had one spiritualcrisis this year and we I've
worked through it, so I'm good.
I'm golden.
Hess (01:48):
Yeah, so we go way back and we've been crisscrossing
lives for, we've been braidingour lives together.
Sometimes we know it, sometimeswe don't.
And about six years ago, eightyears ago, we're sitting in the
back.
Of my boat, the Relation Ship,talking about writing our
stories of our lives.
(02:08):
And we began we went beyond theback of the boat to calling each
other every Sunday morning.
And it just it just rights myship.
It helps me anchor in what'simportant to me.
What happened the previous week.
We talk about it, we talk aboutour weeks ahead, and able to
pull anchor.
After those Sunday morning talksand go forward in my week
(02:31):
knowing and just feeling goodhaving a vision and being who I
am.
And we've been a witness to eachother's lives and we all need
that.
And it makes, it just makes mefeel so good.
What So Delbert, I just wantedto give them the background and
you pick up here and say whereyou were last week and how us
talking together helped you.
Delbert (02:51):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
As you all know from some of ourpods that we've done on my
sister Carole and my nieceMeagan they passed during Holy
Week 16 years ago.
And so I always struggled just alittle bit with Holy Week, some
years more than others.
It's really hard for me to wrapmy head around the resurrection
when, my people aren't comingback, and that's just very,
(03:14):
little kid way of putting it.
But and then Francis died too itwas just on the struggle bus a
little bit.
And I talked to Hess about itand told her how I was feeling
and she really helped me justput things in place like we
always do with each other on ourSunday talk.
And by the time we finished ourpod last Sunday, I.
(03:37):
Made Easter dinner and hid myEaster eggs and had the most
wonderful time with my family.
So that really was myresurrection.
And as Hess says, without thecrucifixion, there is no
resurrection.
And I hope all of you out therelistening, find your people,
find your tribe, find yourbounce back, your people that
(03:57):
listen to you and bear witnessto your life.
It's so important to just have aspringboard, a sounding board,
somebody that listens, thatunderstands without judgment and
just lets you be you.
Hess (04:14):
You had said that you had hit a crisis point and what you
talked about with us to me thatmorning was the pictures of the
prison camp in El Salvadorreally reminded you that is a
concentration camp and remindedyou of the stories of your
(04:34):
grandpa.
Freeing the people after the warwas over, he was one of the
first infantries that went into, to free a certain
concentration camp and how theycould smell it from 10 miles
away and so on.
You were just like, HEss I don'tknow if we, you know about
talking about somethingpolitical, but No, this is about
(04:57):
humanity.
This is about.
Us as people, you talked aboutit and it helped you talk about
it.
You felt how much it botheredyou, and then you talked about
it and you told me that I gaveyou permission to talk about it.
Delbert (05:12):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Hess (05:14):
go ahead.
Delbert (05:15):
No, I'm, no, you did.
Because we had said, we wannatry to make sure that our
podcast, stays clean.
That we wanna make sure thateverybody feels welcome to
listen.
But sometimes I think if we'rehaving a struggle and we feel
like something needs to be said,that it's, this is the place to
(05:36):
say it because we're just atsuch a time in our country where
we really need to speak up whenwe see injustice.
And we also need to remember tobe civil and cordial to each
other.
And yeah.
Yeah.
And so has, I told her about mystruggle that morning before we
(05:57):
did the podcast Easter morningand she just said, let's do it,
Delbert.
Let's do it.
What a gift that is to have afriend that says, yeah let's go
ahead and bend our own rules alittle bit.
The, with the idea of doingwhat's right.
I think we always have to dothat.
We were raised in the Catholicchurch.
(06:18):
We had wonderful role models inour priests and nuns.
We had a wonderful experiencegrowing up, and so we're trying
to stick with our truths here,
Hess (06:28):
And we got, we wanna be the model of conversation,
helping us work through
Delbert (06:33):
right.
Hess (06:33):
Even if it might be with somebody that has an opposite
opinion that they can cross.
A bridge into your world and youcan have a kind listening
conversation, being able tocross the bridge into each
other's world.
So thank you all for joining usfor last week's podcast you
crossed the bridge into world ofwhat her struggle was.
(06:57):
And it's not, I, people saystruggle bus.
Gosh, it's more than a bus.
It's
Delbert (07:05):
could be an entire freeway.
Yeah.
Or it could be.
It feels like you're justtrapped in a small place, right?
When we talk about sitting withit, getting some movement, try
to get yourself out of that.
Out of that role.
Hess (07:23):
with, you have to sit with it first and your mama told you,
just shake it off.
But you're like, Hey, wait asecond mom.
I wanna sit with her a little
Delbert (07:29):
Yeah.
Hess (07:30):
this.
Delbert (07:31):
Yeah.
Hess (07:31):
it can help us make the steps we need to make to make
the next best step.
Delbert (07:36):
Exactly, and I did on Holy Saturday, I did, I went to
my sister's house and kindahelped her with a little egg
hunt for her grandchildren andhad dinner and came home and did
my holy Saturday fire and mylittle fire pit.
And.
I did the color packets and allthe beautiful colors and just
sat with it, sat with my sadnessabout some things, and and it
(08:01):
helped me, like we say, don'tsit there too long, but go ahead
and sit there if you need to andreally live with it and try to
figure it out.
And then, talk to your family,talk to your friends.
Figure it out.
Get it right.
With your own mindset.
And so we talked about what ourresurrections were for the week
(08:23):
and mine was just really talkingto Hess, being with my family,
having a lovely Easter, and thenjust getting right back out
there and working again, justgetting right back out with my
clients and being myself.
And that's the best thing youcan be.
HEss and I talked a little bitlast night about a retreat that
we did and Hess you wanna talkabout Brene Brown a little bit?
Hess (08:49):
Yeah, so I got trained in the Brene Brown work, I think
back in 2019 and in her booksDaring Way I.
It's you gotta be brave.
You gotta be there.
You gotta show up in your arena.
You gotta show up with thevalues that are important to
you, that light your way withrising strong.
If you're, that book is aboutyou will fall, you're in the
(09:10):
arena, you will fall you will befaced down and you gotta be able
to get back up.
And you have to find out who youneed to listen to in your arena.
Not the cheap seats, not thecritics.
I.
Not, sometimes, not the peoplethat built the arena, that's the
establishment, right?
Or the way that you're supposedto be you.
(09:31):
You gotta listen and also becompassionate towards yourself
and you gotta listen to yourmarble jar friends that
encourage you and get back up.
Yeah.
The retreat that we did a yearago, this past January for a
group of different fellowfriends from Sacred Heart, we
covered some of the Brene Brownwork and we're gonna meet back
(09:52):
up again in, in June in BethanyBeach.
We're gathering again together,and we, and do a little bit more
work and get some beach timetoo.
So you gotta, you it's hard workin the arena.
You were faced down Delbert andyou were struggling and you you
got back up this week.
(10:12):
'cause you got back up with thethings that move you forward
that, that get you goingforward.
You you were giving out theEaster food to the kids at
schools.
You were meeting with clients.
You were, opening up clients to,giving people the, those clients
the opportunity to find a housethey love to make a home that
(10:33):
they can their life in.
And it's all moving forward.
It's all taking different stepsto making things better for
yourself and for other people.
Delbert (10:44):
Right and.
Just along that line aboutshowing up and moving forward.
I love our governor, AndyBeshear Hess sent me his
podcast.
I listened to his first podcast,and Hess has already listened to
all three of them.
They're so wonderful and they welove'em because they're.
Positive based, talking aboutworking together, not being red
(11:09):
or blue, R or d.
They're talking about let's moveforward, let's have an open
dialogue and let's make ourcountry the best it can be
together and listen to eachother.
So I love that and I love that.
We have a governor that's outthere putting out a good
positive message.
Hess (11:31):
During the Covid at four o'clock, he would give talks,
and when the first person diedof Covid, he had tears in his
eyes.
He was, it was, yeah.
He would say the person's nameand talk about their life.
Just it was so healing listen tohim at four o'clock every day
(11:52):
and
Delbert (11:52):
Because we had nowhere else to go.
Hess (11:54):
And he'd say, now you can't be doing that.
We gotta watch out for each
Delbert (11:57):
Yeah,
Hess (11:58):
be doing that.
Delbert (11:59):
I love that.
I love that he's so positive.
And so yeah, we invite youfriends to engage with us and to
share your ideas and feelingsand we'd love to hear from you.
Hey Hess, what else?
This week, you doing somethingreally cool at the horse park
(12:20):
this week, aren't you?
Hess (12:22):
So this week at the Kentucky Horse Park is the
Kentucky three day event, and itis a an equestrian sport
Eventing, and you do dressagecross country and stadium
jumping, and the event at theKentucky three day event.
(12:43):
The last weekend of April everyyear is a four and five star
event.
And in the whole world, thereare only like five of these.
Of these events at this categoryfive star event, there are only
five locations every year wherethese are held and this is a
(13:04):
level Delbert that is evenhigher than the Olympic level.
They're doing more difficultstuff, so it was just so fun.
Yesterday was Cross Country Dayand they had the four stars
running in the morning, the fivestars in the afternoon.
And seeing these partnerships.
this horse and rider they havedeveloped this team together
(13:26):
where the horses are started atlower levels.
They get confidence, they moveup to more difficult obstacles.
Higher, wider, and they'reslowly moved up so they don't
get fearful and they work as ateam.
And these horses, Delbert,they're like, okay, where's the
next flags?
Because you at a jump orobstacle, there's a red flag on
(13:47):
the right, white flag on theleft.
And they, the horse with thisteam that's been developed, they
like, they're looking for theflags.
And in some of the obstacles,they're narrow, almost just a
little bit beyond the width ofthe horse and rider.
And the horse goes right rightthrough the middle of these
little narrow obstacles also.
(14:07):
some of'em have different com,different complexes where at
certain jumps there might be.
There might be two or three orfour different obstacles that
they go through four A, B, c, Dor something like that, just one
table in the middle of thefield.
That's just one obstacle.
So anyway, it was so fun, andit's like you said, Delbert
(14:31):
these horse and rider teams arelike in the Brene Brown arena
and a real arena of throughsomething that's really hard.
It was so beautiful to seepictures this morning of some of
the horses coming through thefinish line and ecstatic look on
the rider's faces, these hugs,these cheers people jumping up.
It's just it's something andsomething that lasts a little
(14:54):
bit longer than two minutes ofthe derby, right?
Because
Delbert (14:57):
A little, you get a little more.
We celebrate for a long time,but yeah, the derby doesn't last
very long.
What about the one guy that wasteaching the class?
What he said?
I thought that was so awesome.
Hess (15:09):
Yeah.
Cathy's assistant Nikki wasriding their horse, their horse,
Shack.
In a little clinic yesterday atthe horse park where people
could take a little side venueand Cal Carter teach five
different ride horse and ridercombinations about jumping and
riding the horse.
(15:31):
And one thing he said was tellthe horse what you want it to do
versus keep correcting for whatyou don't want.
Your list would be a lot smallerthen, right?
Delbert (15:46):
Exactly.
It's not so overwhelming.
When you're just planning forwhat you want, going the
direction that you want.
Exactly.
I love that.
So cool.
Hess (15:57):
Yeah.
So good for life.
Delbert (15:59):
Exactly.
Great metaphor for life.
The being in the arena andmoving forward and asking for
what you want.
Not always correct in what youdon't want.
I love that
Hess (16:12):
Bert, I'm seeing a bluebird right over my right
shoulder up in the tree.
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
Delbert (16:19):
you have so many different birds out
Hess (16:22):
I love it.
Delbert (16:23):
at the farm.
Hess (16:24):
Yeah.
Delbert (16:25):
Gorgeous.
Hess (16:27):
Yeah.
And this is something too, Ihave I have on my phone.
Like I was with a client theother day in my office and I
could hear this beautiful soundof this bird.
And while this, while my clientwas doing this exercise, I
surreptitiously, she had hereyes closed.
I surreptitiously pulled up myMerlin app.
(16:47):
On my phone and you can pressrecord and it records the sounds
going on around you.
And it was a beautiful littlewood thrush in the outright,
outside the window.
yeah, so that Merlin app enenables me to know what birds
are out there that I'm justhearing versus seeing, so it
(17:09):
expands.
knowledge of the birds and thesounds and what birds are there,
so it's pretty cool.
Delbert (17:17):
There's a, there was a restaurant here in Louisville.
It's close now, but I just lovedit.
It was right across the streetfrom my office.
It's called o.
And I took you there Hus, but itwas already changed over to
Enzos and it's really good too.
But they had this big patio andI always loved to sit outside on
the patio and the manager alwayshad these bird sounds piped
(17:41):
through with the music.
I was sitting out there with mydaughter one mother's day and we
were just sitting out theretalking, having a glass of wine,
and all of a sudden, like thisblue heron just swoops over the
patio and it is close to theriver.
It's close to river Road wheremy office is, and, we were like,
(18:02):
whoa.
And the manager came out and hegoes, I don't know if the birds
think there's like a bird partygoing on here because I pipe
those bird.
He's but I see more birds here.
And it was just like one of thethings that just added so much
to being there, you're just inthe middle of the city, you're
just birdwatching it.
But anyway it is, it's just sucha delightful thing, whether
(18:24):
you're just sitting on yourporch at home and a little
cardinal bird flies over, orblue bird.
It's just part of the wonder ofnature and the beauty all around
us.
Hess (18:35):
When we were talking last night, Bert, you said you were
gonna go outside and sit on yourpatio and it was so beautiful to
hear your voice.
Also with the birds in thebackground when you were sitting
out there.
Delbert (18:46):
No.
And I usually have littlebunnies that come around that
time of night, but they must begetting ready for derby.
They might have been in theirhutch getting their derby
glasses washed or something, Idon't know.
But,
Hess (18:58):
working on their derby
Delbert (18:59):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Putting some lavender andchamomile flowers together for a
little derby hat.
For sure.
Hess (19:08):
So that, that's just an example.
Just us talking about the birds,how sometimes I can be stuck in
my own thoughts and in my owndemise, and what.
What angst I might be in, and ifI just it and be with it, and
then if I kinda open up a littlebit more, oh, there's birds out
there.
There's things out there.
(19:29):
There's people out there there'sa world out there.
I could go ahead and startwalking out and getting out and.
Delbert (19:38):
Exactly.
It's one of the things that Isaid at the retreat, the reason
I love the sunrise and thesunset so much is because it
involves looking up and out.
Just like getting outta your ownhead and just looking at the
beauty and the wonder.
And right now there's.
Things that aren't so beautifulgoing on in our world.
(19:59):
And it's important to talk about'em.
It's important to be heard in avery calm and healing way.
I wanna listen to everybody.
I wanna listen to everyone'sviewpoint, and I also wanna be
heard.
But we also, when that's done,I.
When the conversation's over,then we look upward and outward
(20:22):
towards the beauty
Hess (20:26):
There's some, there's supposed to be something really
healing about exposing yourselfto the sun for about a half an
hour every morning.
The sun and the light.
Delbert (20:36):
Well, and it gives you a lot of good vitamin D too,
which helps your attitude.
I.
Hess (20:40):
One thing I like about Andy Bess Shear's podcast is
when he has a guest on, he findsout what their why is, And he
says It's so important becausewe always have a why of why we
might think something, or why wegot into what we work what's
important to us.
There's always a big why andwhen we can have these
(21:02):
conversations across the bridgeand to somebody else's world, we
can find out what their why is
Delbert (21:08):
And it's always so interesting, it's so
interesting.
And just in our small littlegroup in our retreat, listening
to everybody's lives, and we allwent to school together.
We're all connected even thoughyou, some of us are a little bit
closer friends than others, butit's just wow, I didn't know
that about you.
Why, just the complete awe andwonder of getting to know
(21:32):
people, getting to know theirwhy.
I listened to the first podcastand Morgan and Morgan attorneys
were on there.
Wow.
What an incredible family andcompany and just integrity and
philosophy they have abouthelping people and how they
built their business on, doingthe right thing.
Hess (21:54):
Yeah.
A bad car accident and hisbrother was in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's all good.
It's all good.
My wife Cathy, she always saysit's all good.
And that can r my boat a littlebit when I All good.
There's gonna be something comefrom this.
There's gonna be a resurrection,there's Positivity that comes
(22:16):
from this.
Delbert (22:19):
Exactly.
We're all in this together.
We wanna listen to each otherand be the be absolute best we
can be.
Hess, what's just say one ofyour why's.
You've got a lot of why's,
Hess (22:33):
Oh baby.
We'll do a why on a wholepodcast because my why is pretty
deep.
Delbert (22:37):
is it pretty deep and long.
Okay.
Alright.
Hess (22:41):
Yeah,
Delbert (22:42):
You got a lot to say about this.
About that.
Okay.
Hess (22:45):
I have a lot to say about this, about that,
Delbert (22:47):
and that's too long.
Okay, I'll be trying to workthat up and then pot stirs you
all listen to your why and bethinking about that for the next
time.
Do you wanna do the St.
Francis?
St.
Francis?
I've already canonized him.
Hess (23:04):
Y'all already have.
Delbert (23:05):
my goodness.
I just loved his mercy andtenderness and.
Hess (23:10):
He was a missionary.
Did you see the wooden box thathe is gonna be
Delbert (23:14):
that's what I was just gonna say.
Like I, I love Pope Francis.
I cried a lot watching a lot ofthe coverage about him because
I'm like, why didn't we see atleast one thing about Pope
Francis every day?
He was such a good man.
He is always reaching out,healing people.
Hugging children, kissing themon the head, giving them a
blessing, every day he didthings like this, washing the
(23:37):
feet of the poor appointingwomen to high positions, telling
us to be kind and accepting ofrefugees and immigrants because
he was himself an immigrant.
And to see him going through thestreets of Rome.
In a pickup truck in a simplewooden casket that just said it
(23:57):
all to me.
What a humble and devotedservant of people he was.
And I'm just sad about it.
I hope we get somebody aswonderful as him, but he's
earned his good rest and,
Hess (24:12):
so this is one that I loved.
He said, rivers do not drinktheir own water.
Trees do not eat their ownfruit.
The sun does not shine onitself.
Flowers do not spread theirfragrance for themselves.
Living for others is a rule ofnature.
(24:32):
We're all born to help eachother no matter how difficult it
is.
Life is good when you're happy,but much better when others are
happy because of you.
Yeah.
Delbert (24:48):
Oh, so good.
He's got so many good quotes.
Friends, I'd say if you'rehaving a rough time, look up one
of his quotes.
So beautiful.
The way he, his life
Hess (24:59):
up one that's good for you.
That, that, that fits
Delbert (25:03):
Helps you get your bounce back.
Hess (25:06):
yeah.
Yeah.
So y'all, thanks for listeningtoday.
We love you Hess and peace andlove.
Delbert (25:15):
And I'm Delbert.
Be sure to like and subscribe.
We're on all the podcastplatforms and happy Derby Week.
Peace and love.
We love you friends.
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