May 25, 2025 • 27 mins
Delbert and Hess talk about connection helping them process and re-balance. Delbert shared what she and her daughter Sophie love to do—it is a daily exercise from the book the Artists Way by Julia Cameron—You do what is called Morning Pages, and you write—stream of consciousness, without any self editing, whatever shows up— This is a great tool to help you balance, help get your creativity going, helping you get a great start for the day. Hess shared the Liz Gilbert exercise from her Substack. You ask Unconditional Love a question. Any question that you are grappling with. And then, you allow her the space for her to write back to you—you just start with pen and paper, or the keyboard—she is directly speaking to you—no edit, no stopping—let her say it. It comes from your inner being full of love. Delbert gives the listeners the scoop on how she become known as the "Darling" to her grandchildren, and how the "Darling Society" was born!
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey pods, I'd like to welcome you all.
Thank you so much for showing upand listening to, let me tell
you this about that.
This is Hess.
Delbert (00:12):
Hey Hess, this is Delbert.
Don't anyone be alarmed.
I'm not on the green couchtoday.
I'm live from my big blue bed inmy bedroom.
I'm having a Jackie o kind ofday.
Gonna work from bed a littlebit.
Pulled my back a little and I'mon my heating pad propped up.
(00:34):
Just told Hess that Jackie ofamously worked from bed editing
books and reading, and so I'mgonna, I'm gonna mirror that
today as much as podsterssible.
Hess (00:48):
Sweet and folks, we started having these Sunday
morning conversations about.
Four years ago, five years ago,six years ago, and it would
always make me feel better justtalking to Delbert, we talked
about, sad stuff going on withmy weeks, stuff coming up,
(01:12):
something I'm scared about,something I'm happy about,
something I'm concerned about,and just having the
conversation.
Gives me, just gives me somebalance to start the week.
So I wanted to give you all,again, the background of that,
how this all started.
And so then last summer the endof last summer in August I'm
driving back with my wife Cathyfrom a trip to New Jersey with
(01:35):
friends and we're listening topodcasts.
And I said, you know what?
That conversation that Delbertand I have on Sundays, that
could be a podcast.
And Cathy said, yep.
Need to do it.
And I said, okay, text.
Text Delbert.
'cause I was driving textDelbert, tell her we're gonna do
podcasts.
And Delbert said, gave it aheart and a thumbs up emoji.
(01:57):
Delbert, this week when I talkedto you the other day, I said I
was disconcerted and justtalking to you made me feel
better.
And just that just.
It does it, it gives me awitness to my life and makes me
feel better, so
Delbert (02:14):
Aw, I love that.
I can do that for you.
You're my.
One of my oldest friends and Ifeel the same way about you.
I can call you and share thingswith you and a lot of times it's
good news.
Sometimes I'm calling you andtelling you I'm having a
spiritual crisis.
But I was telling Hessyesterday, I said I had the best
(02:37):
conversation with my youngestdaughter, Sophie.
I've talked about this on thepodcast before the artist's way.
Sophie was reading that withsome friends and, again, we
started talking about howhelpful it is to write a stream
of consciousness or just writeour feelings when we get up
first thing in the morning,before you start listening to
(02:59):
other things.
Just listen to yourself andwrite that stream of
consciousness.
And I was telling her, I said,when I do that and I really get
into it and I really put myfeelings in it and get colorful
it really not only helps me justget things out, but also helps
me sort things out and it makesme feel better about the things
(03:21):
that I might be a little bitmore emotional about.
I.
And she was like, oh my gosh, metoo.
IJI didn't realize that.
But yes, that is exactly how Ifeel when I really just get it
all out and then there it is onpaper, can sort it out and just,
it just makes you feel so muchmore grounded and so much better
(03:46):
about the things that might justbe troubling you just a little
bit.
And so I told Hess, I said,let's do it tomorrow morning.
We were talking yesterday, Isaid, when we wake up in the
morning, let's do it.
Let's write and then let's seehow we feel about it and we'll
share it with our podsters andwe hope that maybe you can wake
up tomorrow and do the samething and feel better.
(04:10):
Just a little bit, just a littlebit of healing.
Would you write Hess?
Hess (04:17):
Folks, I'm, I love some Liz Gilbert.
I love what she does and she onsubstack.
She has this really cool groupthat she does called Letters to
Unconditional Love, and you justask unconditional love a
question, and then you just putyour pen on the paper or your
(04:39):
fingers on the keys, and you goand you allow unconditional love
to write and tell you what shehe thinks about that.
What your question was.
I started doing this about ayear ago and it's just really
wonderful and it helps get myhead in gear I have some stuff
(05:02):
going on right now.
I.
Our son is we got some stuffgoing on with our baby Lucas.
Our son Lucas.
He's not connected to us rightnow which has been going on for
a while.
That has me disconcerted and mydog's little eye.
She, little Tessa, she got hercataracts taken out about six
weeks ago, which then there's ajourney of a lot of different
(05:25):
drops in her eyes.
And last week.
A week ago, she got a retinadetached in her right eye and
her eye, right eye is swollenand all that.
Anyway, with all of that, I askunconditional love please.
Unconditional love.
Dear unconditional love, tell meabout being patient for a
podstersitive outcome.
(05:46):
Thank you, Jess and Delbert.
This is what she wrote back tome.
She said, dear Jess.
love to.
She always says that, which I,which is cool'cause I always had
trouble asking for stuff.
So when I ask her somethingunconditional love always says,
I would love to.
Delbert (06:04):
I love.
Hess (06:04):
right.
Yeah.
Waiting for a podstersitiveoutcome.
It's a theme here.
While you are in this earthbody, let me say this about
that.
Jess has, it will always be apodstersitive outcome.
All of the constant change hereon this earth.
(06:24):
The lunar phases rotation intodifferent seasons, birth life,
death.
It all moves into apodstersitive outcome.
That beautiful white oak tree onthe hill next door that you
stopped and admired every timeyou rode up that hill in the big
(06:45):
field for 37 years.
Yes, the wind did take it.
The middle had decayed and itwas weak.
Now it will continue to decay.
As it lays on the ground, itwill become hummus, excuse me,
humus, and contribute to thebiodiversity of the
Delbert (07:07):
Yeah, we're not gonna eat it with a chip for sure.
Hess (07:11):
No even climate change, we are going to, we are moving into
a deeper sense of knowing withevery single thing that happens,
the light from that star,however many millions of light
years away.
That light that you see in thesky right now began that long
ago, now it is.
(07:34):
Things take time is what I'mtrying to say.
And they turn out how they are,how they turn out.
That love and intention you havefor your little dog's eyes,
meticulous care that you giveher, all for the greater good
for her, and for her eyes, forthe universe.
(07:57):
You and Delbert talk about theprinciple of doing the next best
step, and that's how every greatthing in the world happened,
doing the next best step.
Each drop of each medicine inher little eyes the next best
step for their healing.
It's already happening.
(08:17):
Please breathe deep and becognizant of that.
It is already happening.
Lucas is coming home.
It is already happening.
His healing is happening in thismoment.
This is the truth.
Believe and have faith.
You are wholehearted.
(08:37):
You live to really live.
connect, have fun, and play.
Love you so much unconditionallove.
Delbert (08:49):
Hess, that's so beautiful.
Podsters Hess is such abeautiful writer.
I hope she gets her bookpublished soon so you can read
all the beautiful things thatshe writes because I just enjoy
listening to.
Everything she writes, she'llsend me a beautiful letter from
unconditional love every once ina while, and I just enjoy it so
(09:11):
much.
So I it has, that was gorgeous.
I loved it.
We're simpatico, we say howwe're in sync and we crisscross
and it's like we're two boatscrossing on the river all the
time.
My stream of consciousness isnot as nice as Hess's.
And it's a little disjointed,and I wrote all over the page in
(09:33):
different disjointed
Hess (09:34):
Oh.
Hold the boat.
Hold the boat.
That's something Dey would say,hold
Delbert (09:37):
hold the.
Hess (09:38):
Hold the boat.
Hold the boat.
Delbert, there is, livingwholeheartedly, does not live in
judgment.
There's no self judgment.
This is a no judgment zone
Delbert (09:51):
I'm just forewarning the listeners because yours is
so eloquent.
Okay.
And mine's a big page with a lotof scribble.
Alright.
Okay.
Hess (09:59):
hey, Podsters you don't serve yourself by trying to
make, trying to compare yourselfto other people.
It either raises you up or putsyou down.
So stop it.
Okay.
Go ahead, Delbert.
Delbert (10:11):
Okay.
All right.
So here was, I was sitting onthe green couch this morning
when I got up and the firstthing I saw when I looked out
the big window was my neighbor'spink tree.
And so I just started writingabout pink.
I love the color Pink.
Pink is always the color I thinkof first.
It is so healing, and that'swhat I want my life to be.
(10:35):
I wanna heal from the hurts inmy life and heal the others
around me.
Sometimes the earth seems like abig hospital, and we're all in
different departments at thelake.
We're in water therapy at work,we're in occupational therapy.
I find myself praying a lot forhealing for others and myself.
(11:00):
This week I was sitting ateighth grade graduation.
Being a witness like Hess alwayssays, showing up equals I care.
I'm here.
I told my daughter, life is 90%showing up.
It's also about forgiveness,which is part of healing.
(11:25):
Sometimes because I'm Catholic,I feel guilty about how happy I
am when I see others struggle.
I love the way that I grew up.
I knew that it worked for me,but it didn't work for others.
Music and dancing always make mefeel happy and healed, and I
(11:49):
really wish that I could givethat to others.
Hess (11:58):
I love that.
Wasn't that nice?
Wasn't that beautiful?
I love.
We're each wholehearted,everyone, every single person in
this whole universe iswholehearted.
You are who you are you're, yougive your gifts.
We give our gifts of who we areto the world in our own way that
we look at things.
What struck me too about whatyou wrote Delbert, was that I
(12:21):
feel like the.
The world is a hospital, and wehave these different areas where
we heal.
And you have the lake where youhave your your occupational
therapy.
Is that what you said?
Delbert (12:34):
The lake is water therapy or aquatherapy.
Yeah.
And then work is occupationaltherapy for me, for sure.
And just being outside istherapy, and being with your
family.
That's just a form of how weconnect and how we, we're
healing ourselves in everyconnection.
(12:54):
So I just thought it was reallycool that we both were talking
about healing and we didn't knowwe were gonna write that we
didn't talk about what ourstream of consciousness or our
letter to unconditional love wasgonna be.
But we ended up writing aboutsimilar things and so I.
We encourage you out therelisteners to, to do that.
(13:15):
See if that helps.
See if that helps you get yourhead around whether it's a
letter to unconditional love, orjust write a stream of
consciousness of things that areon your mind.
Hess (13:28):
And putting it out on paper helps you connect it to
yourself and helps it make senseto yourself.
We all were wired for story.
We have our stories, and when weput that story on paper, I.
It validates it for herself.
Just like when I have aconversation with you, Delbert,
it validates you listening,helps, validate my thoughts back
(13:50):
to myself.
So put it on your paper or Worddocument on your laptop.
It's a reflection back to you.
Delbert (14:01):
Exactly.
Hess (14:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's not it's not is in thebook The Gifts of Imperfection.
A way that Brene Brown puts itis that we're not moving, we're
not already at the Star.
We're always like moving towardsthe star.
So it's always a work to realignourselves to to get back to.
(14:26):
The kind of feedback thewholehearted living, the
connection that we need to haveso that we just can feel better
about ourself no matter what'shappening and what we're going
through.
Delbert (14:39):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And also when you know, one ofthe things we talked about and a
few pods go, just color walking,noticing.
We talk a lot about how wenotice how green the grass is
and how beautiful our state isthat we live in Kentucky and
(14:59):
we've wired ourselves for that,for recognition.
If you can just rewire yourbrain to joy and to beauty.
Just practice it just a littlebit every day.
You'd be really surprised at howmuch joy it will bring you.
Hess (15:17):
So noticing things like you did your color, walk across
your front yard, into yourneighbor's yard to Azalea that
pink azalea.
So being able to noticesomething and notice something
with our senses is veryconnecting and rewiring and
moving us towards bettersensations.
Delbert (15:35):
Exactly.
Hess (15:37):
And one exercise we talked about in an early podcast,
Delbert, since you brought upthe visual of the color, a color
walk is all of your senses.
Make a list of all of yoursenses, seeing, listening,
hearing taste, touch smell.
(15:59):
Write down those five senses andwrite three things that you love
in each of those categories.
The lush green grass, white oaktree in the field.
The way that the purple Martinsfly in my backyard.
So that would be three for mysight.
And as, as I write three morethings for each of those and go,
(16:22):
just let your mind wander up anddown your list looking and
feeling, smelling, tasting, allof those things.
'cause you can write down hotchocolate chip cookies and you
can taste it right now.
So it helps you be there inthose beautiful things that make
you feel good.
So that's a really cool exerciseto help ground yourself.
Delbert (16:42):
I love that one.
I'm gonna do that one tonight.
I'm having a darling societysleepover tonight, so yeah.
Hess (16:51):
Oh, share that with them.
Do that
Delbert (16:53):
I'll, I love that.
Hess (16:56):
Delbert, and we got a little extra time right now.
Would you mind giving?
Our podsters, the backgroundabout the darling and how that
word came up for your littlegrandchildren club.
Delbert (17:11):
Okay.
I just wanted my grandmothername to be, something special
that signified my relationshipwith my grandchildren.
And my oldest daughter'sfavorite movie was Auntie Mame.
She'd have a bad day at school,or one going out with her
(17:33):
friends on the weekend, we'dwatch that movie together and I
said, since you love that movie,I want my grandmother name to be
something that has something todo with that, but I don't wanna
force it.
And so we talked about Maim orMamie or but Maims best friend
Vera, this actress, she calledher Maim Darling.
(17:54):
And, one day when my oldestdarling was about nine months
old, was real early talker.
I was getting ready to leavetheir house and Nikki was
holding my little sweet darlingand said, say goodbye to Mame
Darling.
And so my darling just pointedto me and said, darling.
(18:16):
So it was super, it was likethey came up with the name, just
didn't say Mame, darling or Mamejust said Darling, and that was
it.
And so I was darling and then Isaid, at, we were at the pool
one day when they were reallittle and I said, this is our
club.
We love to swim, we love to havesleepovers.
We love to shop.
(18:37):
We love Mexican food.
We are the darling society.
And here's our motto.
And we'd say the three S's,swimming, sleepover, shopping.
And anyway, it's our society andwe always hashtag darling
society when we make podsterstsand things like that.
(18:58):
So that is the story of theDarling Society.
It has to do with RosalynRussell and a book by Patrick
Dennis written about growing upwith his Auntie Maim.
She was super fun andunconventional.
So he grew up when his parentsdied in this really
unconventional, just fun, lotsof different people from all
(19:19):
over.
So watch that movie.
It's fantastic.
Hess (19:24):
Yeah, so her best friend called her Darling Mame.
Huh?
Delbert (19:28):
No, maim darling.
Maim darling.
Hess (19:31):
darling?
Mame darling,
Delbert (19:33):
Yeah.
Oh, maim darling.
Yeah.
Hess (19:37):
I love that.
And then, so when they, when thedarling, when the darlings were
a little bit older, you said,okay, this is what we love doing
and we'll, we're, this is theDarling Society.
It's got the three S's, it's gotswimming, shopping, and
Delbert (19:55):
Sleepovers, which is what we're doing tonight.
Yeah.
Hess (19:59):
Yeah.
Cool, cool.
Cool.
That's so great.
You were intentional and set itall up that way and it all
happened, taking the next beststep.
Delbert (20:10):
Yeah.
Like I didn't wanna forceanything and I'm like, I don't
want it to be like, somethingweird like cat poop or anything.
You know how some grandparentshave really weird names and and
I wanted it to be somethingthat, yeah, I, I did, I
intentionally set it up to whereit was just gonna be something
(20:31):
that would be like our thing,but I read a story when my
daughter was pregnant with myoldest grandchild, I read a
story about some little kid,they just said, whatever the
first thing is that this kidsays is gonna be, what we're
gonna call, let them call you.
And the kid said, cat poop.
And that was like, and I'm like,wow, that is harsh.
(20:52):
I do not want that to happen to.
And I'm like, is that even areal story?
Is that a cautionary tale forgrandparents?
Be careful.
Hess (21:05):
me, one of my, one of my friend's call him Grumpy
Delbert (21:09):
Oh, see, yeah.
Hess (21:13):
Uhhuh.
That's
Delbert (21:15):
I'd be heartbroken.
Hess (21:17):
that's a little, those little people from sleeping
Beauty, what were those littlepeople called?
Delbert (21:23):
Oh, the dwarfs.
Hess (21:25):
The dwarfs.
Yeah, he was grumpy.
He's a wonderful, kind-hearted,big-hearted person.
Delbert (21:31):
And he might not mind it.
It might tickle him.
Yeah.
Hess (21:34):
Everybody have a beautiful day.
Write down your story.
Get feedback on your story.
Your story matters.
Who you are matters.
You were born innately good.
full of aliveness is yournatural state.
Peace and love.
Delbert (21:53):
Peace and love.
We love you friends.
Hey pods, I'd like to welcome you all.
Thank you so much for showing upand listening to, let me tell
you this about that.
This is Hess.
Delbert (00:12):
Hey Hess, this is Delbert.
Don't anyone be alarmed.
I'm not on the green couchtoday.
I'm live from my big blue bed inmy bedroom.
I'm having a Jackie o kind ofday.
Gonna work from bed a littlebit.
Pulled my back a little and I'mon my heating pad propped up.
(00:34):
Just told Hess that Jackie ofamously worked from bed editing
books and reading, and so I'mgonna, I'm gonna mirror that
today as much as podsterssible.
Hess (00:48):
Sweet and folks, we started having these Sunday
morning conversations about.
Four years ago, five years ago,six years ago, and it would
always make me feel better justtalking to Delbert, we talked
about, sad stuff going on withmy weeks, stuff coming up,
(01:12):
something I'm scared about,something I'm happy about,
something I'm concerned about,and just having the
conversation.
Gives me, just gives me somebalance to start the week.
So I wanted to give you all,again, the background of that,
how this all started.
And so then last summer the endof last summer in August I'm
driving back with my wife Cathyfrom a trip to New Jersey with
(01:35):
friends and we're listening topodcasts.
And I said, you know what?
That conversation that Delbertand I have on Sundays, that
could be a podcast.
And Cathy said, yep.
Need to do it.
And I said, okay, text.
Text Delbert.
'cause I was driving textDelbert, tell her we're gonna do
podcasts.
And Delbert said, gave it aheart and a thumbs up emoji.
(01:57):
Delbert, this week when I talkedto you the other day, I said I
was disconcerted and justtalking to you made me feel
better.
And just that just.
It does it, it gives me awitness to my life and makes me
feel better, so
Delbert (02:14):
Aw, I love that.
I can do that for you.
You're my.
One of my oldest friends and Ifeel the same way about you.
I can call you and share thingswith you and a lot of times it's
good news.
Sometimes I'm calling you andtelling you I'm having a
spiritual crisis.
But I was telling Hessyesterday, I said I had the best
(02:37):
conversation with my youngestdaughter, Sophie.
I've talked about this on thepodcast before the artist's way.
Sophie was reading that withsome friends and, again, we
started talking about howhelpful it is to write a stream
of consciousness or just writeour feelings when we get up
first thing in the morning,before you start listening to
(02:59):
other things.
Just listen to yourself andwrite that stream of
consciousness.
And I was telling her, I said,when I do that and I really get
into it and I really put myfeelings in it and get colorful
it really not only helps me justget things out, but also helps
me sort things out and it makesme feel better about the things
(03:21):
that I might be a little bitmore emotional about.
I.
And she was like, oh my gosh, metoo.
IJI didn't realize that.
But yes, that is exactly how Ifeel when I really just get it
all out and then there it is onpaper, can sort it out and just,
it just makes you feel so muchmore grounded and so much better
(03:46):
about the things that might justbe troubling you just a little
bit.
And so I told Hess, I said,let's do it tomorrow morning.
We were talking yesterday, Isaid, when we wake up in the
morning, let's do it.
Let's write and then let's seehow we feel about it and we'll
share it with our podsters andwe hope that maybe you can wake
up tomorrow and do the samething and feel better.
(04:10):
Just a little bit, just a littlebit of healing.
Would you write Hess?
Hess (04:17):
Folks, I'm, I love some Liz Gilbert.
I love what she does and she onsubstack.
She has this really cool groupthat she does called Letters to
Unconditional Love, and you justask unconditional love a
question, and then you just putyour pen on the paper or your
(04:39):
fingers on the keys, and you goand you allow unconditional love
to write and tell you what shehe thinks about that.
What your question was.
I started doing this about ayear ago and it's just really
wonderful and it helps get myhead in gear I have some stuff
(05:02):
going on right now.
I.
Our son is we got some stuffgoing on with our baby Lucas.
Our son Lucas.
He's not connected to us rightnow which has been going on for
a while.
That has me disconcerted and mydog's little eye.
She, little Tessa, she got hercataracts taken out about six
weeks ago, which then there's ajourney of a lot of different
(05:25):
drops in her eyes.
And last week.
A week ago, she got a retinadetached in her right eye and
her eye, right eye is swollenand all that.
Anyway, with all of that, I askunconditional love please.
Unconditional love.
Dear unconditional love, tell meabout being patient for a
podstersitive outcome.
(05:46):
Thank you, Jess and Delbert.
This is what she wrote back tome.
She said, dear Jess.
love to.
She always says that, which I,which is cool'cause I always had
trouble asking for stuff.
So when I ask her somethingunconditional love always says,
I would love to.
Delbert (06:04):
I love.
Hess (06:04):
right.
Yeah.
Waiting for a podstersitiveoutcome.
It's a theme here.
While you are in this earthbody, let me say this about
that.
Jess has, it will always be apodstersitive outcome.
All of the constant change hereon this earth.
(06:24):
The lunar phases rotation intodifferent seasons, birth life,
death.
It all moves into apodstersitive outcome.
That beautiful white oak tree onthe hill next door that you
stopped and admired every timeyou rode up that hill in the big
(06:45):
field for 37 years.
Yes, the wind did take it.
The middle had decayed and itwas weak.
Now it will continue to decay.
As it lays on the ground, itwill become hummus, excuse me,
humus, and contribute to thebiodiversity of the
Delbert (07:07):
Yeah, we're not gonna eat it with a chip for sure.
Hess (07:11):
No even climate change, we are going to, we are moving into
a deeper sense of knowing withevery single thing that happens,
the light from that star,however many millions of light
years away.
That light that you see in thesky right now began that long
ago, now it is.
(07:34):
Things take time is what I'mtrying to say.
And they turn out how they are,how they turn out.
That love and intention you havefor your little dog's eyes,
meticulous care that you giveher, all for the greater good
for her, and for her eyes, forthe universe.
(07:57):
You and Delbert talk about theprinciple of doing the next best
step, and that's how every greatthing in the world happened,
doing the next best step.
Each drop of each medicine inher little eyes the next best
step for their healing.
It's already happening.
(08:17):
Please breathe deep and becognizant of that.
It is already happening.
Lucas is coming home.
It is already happening.
His healing is happening in thismoment.
This is the truth.
Believe and have faith.
You are wholehearted.
(08:37):
You live to really live.
connect, have fun, and play.
Love you so much unconditionallove.
Delbert (08:49):
Hess, that's so beautiful.
Podsters Hess is such abeautiful writer.
I hope she gets her bookpublished soon so you can read
all the beautiful things thatshe writes because I just enjoy
listening to.
Everything she writes, she'llsend me a beautiful letter from
unconditional love every once ina while, and I just enjoy it so
(09:11):
much.
So I it has, that was gorgeous.
I loved it.
We're simpatico, we say howwe're in sync and we crisscross
and it's like we're two boatscrossing on the river all the
time.
My stream of consciousness isnot as nice as Hess's.
And it's a little disjointed,and I wrote all over the page in
(09:33):
different disjointed
Hess (09:34):
Oh.
Hold the boat.
Hold the boat.
That's something Dey would say,hold
Delbert (09:37):
hold the.
Hess (09:38):
Hold the boat.
Hold the boat.
Delbert, there is, livingwholeheartedly, does not live in
judgment.
There's no self judgment.
This is a no judgment zone
Delbert (09:51):
I'm just forewarning the listeners because yours is
so eloquent.
Okay.
And mine's a big page with a lotof scribble.
Alright.
Okay.
Hess (09:59):
hey, Podsters you don't serve yourself by trying to
make, trying to compare yourselfto other people.
It either raises you up or putsyou down.
So stop it.
Okay.
Go ahead, Delbert.
Delbert (10:11):
Okay.
All right.
So here was, I was sitting onthe green couch this morning
when I got up and the firstthing I saw when I looked out
the big window was my neighbor'spink tree.
And so I just started writingabout pink.
I love the color Pink.
Pink is always the color I thinkof first.
It is so healing, and that'swhat I want my life to be.
(10:35):
I wanna heal from the hurts inmy life and heal the others
around me.
Sometimes the earth seems like abig hospital, and we're all in
different departments at thelake.
We're in water therapy at work,we're in occupational therapy.
I find myself praying a lot forhealing for others and myself.
(11:00):
This week I was sitting ateighth grade graduation.
Being a witness like Hess alwayssays, showing up equals I care.
I'm here.
I told my daughter, life is 90%showing up.
It's also about forgiveness,which is part of healing.
(11:25):
Sometimes because I'm Catholic,I feel guilty about how happy I
am when I see others struggle.
I love the way that I grew up.
I knew that it worked for me,but it didn't work for others.
Music and dancing always make mefeel happy and healed, and I
(11:49):
really wish that I could givethat to others.
Hess (11:58):
I love that.
Wasn't that nice?
Wasn't that beautiful?
I love.
We're each wholehearted,everyone, every single person in
this whole universe iswholehearted.
You are who you are you're, yougive your gifts.
We give our gifts of who we areto the world in our own way that
we look at things.
What struck me too about whatyou wrote Delbert, was that I
(12:21):
feel like the.
The world is a hospital, and wehave these different areas where
we heal.
And you have the lake where youhave your your occupational
therapy.
Is that what you said?
Delbert (12:34):
The lake is water therapy or aquatherapy.
Yeah.
And then work is occupationaltherapy for me, for sure.
And just being outside istherapy, and being with your
family.
That's just a form of how weconnect and how we, we're
healing ourselves in everyconnection.
(12:54):
So I just thought it was reallycool that we both were talking
about healing and we didn't knowwe were gonna write that we
didn't talk about what ourstream of consciousness or our
letter to unconditional love wasgonna be.
But we ended up writing aboutsimilar things and so I.
We encourage you out therelisteners to, to do that.
(13:15):
See if that helps.
See if that helps you get yourhead around whether it's a
letter to unconditional love, orjust write a stream of
consciousness of things that areon your mind.
Hess (13:28):
And putting it out on paper helps you connect it to
yourself and helps it make senseto yourself.
We all were wired for story.
We have our stories, and when weput that story on paper, I.
It validates it for herself.
Just like when I have aconversation with you, Delbert,
it validates you listening,helps, validate my thoughts back
(13:50):
to myself.
So put it on your paper or Worddocument on your laptop.
It's a reflection back to you.
Delbert (14:01):
Exactly.
Hess (14:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's not it's not is in thebook The Gifts of Imperfection.
A way that Brene Brown puts itis that we're not moving, we're
not already at the Star.
We're always like moving towardsthe star.
So it's always a work to realignourselves to to get back to.
(14:26):
The kind of feedback thewholehearted living, the
connection that we need to haveso that we just can feel better
about ourself no matter what'shappening and what we're going
through.
Delbert (14:39):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And also when you know, one ofthe things we talked about and a
few pods go, just color walking,noticing.
We talk a lot about how wenotice how green the grass is
and how beautiful our state isthat we live in Kentucky and
(14:59):
we've wired ourselves for that,for recognition.
If you can just rewire yourbrain to joy and to beauty.
Just practice it just a littlebit every day.
You'd be really surprised at howmuch joy it will bring you.
Hess (15:17):
So noticing things like you did your color, walk across
your front yard, into yourneighbor's yard to Azalea that
pink azalea.
So being able to noticesomething and notice something
with our senses is veryconnecting and rewiring and
moving us towards bettersensations.
Delbert (15:35):
Exactly.
Hess (15:37):
And one exercise we talked about in an early podcast,
Delbert, since you brought upthe visual of the color, a color
walk is all of your senses.
Make a list of all of yoursenses, seeing, listening,
hearing taste, touch smell.
(15:59):
Write down those five senses andwrite three things that you love
in each of those categories.
The lush green grass, white oaktree in the field.
The way that the purple Martinsfly in my backyard.
So that would be three for mysight.
And as, as I write three morethings for each of those and go,
(16:22):
just let your mind wander up anddown your list looking and
feeling, smelling, tasting, allof those things.
'cause you can write down hotchocolate chip cookies and you
can taste it right now.
So it helps you be there inthose beautiful things that make
you feel good.
So that's a really cool exerciseto help ground yourself.
Delbert (16:42):
I love that one.
I'm gonna do that one tonight.
I'm having a darling societysleepover tonight, so yeah.
Hess (16:51):
Oh, share that with them.
Do that
Delbert (16:53):
I'll, I love that.
Hess (16:56):
Delbert, and we got a little extra time right now.
Would you mind giving?
Our podsters, the backgroundabout the darling and how that
word came up for your littlegrandchildren club.
Delbert (17:11):
Okay.
I just wanted my grandmothername to be, something special
that signified my relationshipwith my grandchildren.
And my oldest daughter'sfavorite movie was Auntie Mame.
She'd have a bad day at school,or one going out with her
(17:33):
friends on the weekend, we'dwatch that movie together and I
said, since you love that movie,I want my grandmother name to be
something that has something todo with that, but I don't wanna
force it.
And so we talked about Maim orMamie or but Maims best friend
Vera, this actress, she calledher Maim Darling.
(17:54):
And, one day when my oldestdarling was about nine months
old, was real early talker.
I was getting ready to leavetheir house and Nikki was
holding my little sweet darlingand said, say goodbye to Mame
Darling.
And so my darling just pointedto me and said, darling.
(18:16):
So it was super, it was likethey came up with the name, just
didn't say Mame, darling or Mamejust said Darling, and that was
it.
And so I was darling and then Isaid, at, we were at the pool
one day when they were reallittle and I said, this is our
club.
We love to swim, we love to havesleepovers.
We love to shop.
(18:37):
We love Mexican food.
We are the darling society.
And here's our motto.
And we'd say the three S's,swimming, sleepover, shopping.
And anyway, it's our society andwe always hashtag darling
society when we make podsterstsand things like that.
(18:58):
So that is the story of theDarling Society.
It has to do with RosalynRussell and a book by Patrick
Dennis written about growing upwith his Auntie Maim.
She was super fun andunconventional.
So he grew up when his parentsdied in this really
unconventional, just fun, lotsof different people from all
(19:19):
over.
So watch that movie.
It's fantastic.
Hess (19:24):
Yeah, so her best friend called her Darling Mame.
Huh?
Delbert (19:28):
No, maim darling.
Maim darling.
Hess (19:31):
darling?
Mame darling,
Delbert (19:33):
Yeah.
Oh, maim darling.
Yeah.
Hess (19:37):
I love that.
And then, so when they, when thedarling, when the darlings were
a little bit older, you said,okay, this is what we love doing
and we'll, we're, this is theDarling Society.
It's got the three S's, it's gotswimming, shopping, and
Delbert (19:55):
Sleepovers, which is what we're doing tonight.
Yeah.
Hess (19:59):
Yeah.
Cool, cool.
Cool.
That's so great.
You were intentional and set itall up that way and it all
happened, taking the next beststep.
Delbert (20:10):
Yeah.
Like I didn't wanna forceanything and I'm like, I don't
want it to be like, somethingweird like cat poop or anything.
You know how some grandparentshave really weird names and and
I wanted it to be somethingthat, yeah, I, I did, I
intentionally set it up to whereit was just gonna be something
(20:31):
that would be like our thing,but I read a story when my
daughter was pregnant with myoldest grandchild, I read a
story about some little kid,they just said, whatever the
first thing is that this kidsays is gonna be, what we're
gonna call, let them call you.
And the kid said, cat poop.
And that was like, and I'm like,wow, that is harsh.
(20:52):
I do not want that to happen to.
And I'm like, is that even areal story?
Is that a cautionary tale forgrandparents?
Be careful.
Hess (21:05):
me, one of my, one of my friend's call him Grumpy
Delbert (21:09):
Oh, see, yeah.
Hess (21:13):
Uhhuh.
That's
Delbert (21:15):
I'd be heartbroken.
Hess (21:17):
that's a little, those little people from sleeping
Beauty, what were those littlepeople called?
Delbert (21:23):
Oh, the dwarfs.
Hess (21:25):
The dwarfs.
Yeah, he was grumpy.
He's a wonderful, kind-hearted,big-hearted person.
Delbert (21:31):
And he might not mind it.
It might tickle him.
Yeah.
Hess (21:34):
Everybody have a beautiful day.
Write down your story.
Get feedback on your story.
Your story matters.
Who you are matters.
You were born innately good.
full of aliveness is yournatural state.
Peace and love.
Delbert (21:53):
Peace and love.
We love you friends.
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