August 24, 2025 • 30 mins
Podcast 45! Friends-Connection, it’s what its about!
Hess heard today that “connection is the opposite of depression”. That is something that Delbert and Hess learned last week from Jay Davidson, director of the Healing Place Recovery Center. He said “Addiction is the disease of isolation.” Delbert and Hess talk today about friends. Old friends, new friends. Friendships evolve over time. We have neighbor friends, school friends, friends from our kids when they are growing up. Hess got 12 new friends from pickleball by running into an old friend sitting next to her at a concert. Friends help our hearts. We can be there to listen, and a friend can be there to listen to us. Through the hard times and the good times. Make someone’s day! Be that person that walks up and says hello! It keeps us healthy! Thanks for listening! We love you!
I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. We are awaiting the next CT Scans that will tell you where he is after his second round of treatments. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey everybody.
Thank you so much for joining usagain.
This is our pod number, Delbert.
Hold on.
Drum roll number 45 yes, everyweek where you're joining us for
our Sunday morning chat.
My name's Hess.
I'm sitting in the white chairand my bedroom looking out at
the farm.
Delbert (00:21):
That is a heave hut ho as Dewy would say, 45 Wow.
We're just getting so close to ayear's worth of.
Podcast and Hess is the one thatsets it all up and edits it, and
broadcasts it and does all thework.
I just show up on the greencouch and chit chat.
So welcome.
Thanks for joining us.
(00:42):
It's always a beautiful day inKentucky, whether you're, it's
raining or shining.
Hess (00:48):
So Delbert something that's been touching me,'cause I
just got back from a really cooltrip.
We have a group of five couples,five gay couples.
We are, we're tied togetherbecause we've known each other
for 20, 25 years through thework we do.
We're all certified.
Imago therapist, one of us inthe couple.
(01:11):
I just got back from theSunshine Coast of Vancouver, of
British Columbia.
into Vancouver, British Columbiameeting this group of friends.
So I thought I'd like to talk toyou, Delbert, and chat about
these groups and friendships
Delbert (01:29):
because we've been friends since first grade.
So one of the way you have yourfriend groups is through school
for sure, and lastingfriendships.
But I think an interesting thingtoo about old friends is how
sometimes you can drift apart.
You're just, you're in your lifeand you raising your kids, your
(01:50):
career, whatever you're doing,and then you come back together
and it's.
With really good friends.
It's no time has passed.
And I have so many friends likethat and you're one of'em.
And so lots of our friends arehigh school friends that we
have.
Our Barkley village is highschool.
And then I have another group offriends that I was talking to
(02:10):
you about that I've been reallytight with since high school
and.
Hess (02:15):
Do y'all call each other?
Do you have a name foryourselves there?
Delbert.
Delbert (02:18):
We used to call ourselves the Yaya Sisterhood
from the book, but lately Noniand I we both live on a street
that belong, that begins withthe letter H and so sometimes we
have an HHH, which is a happyhour on our street.
Hess (02:36):
Yeah.
Delbert (02:36):
so we just renamed our group the HHH Club.
We're all, but we're going tolake Nolan, which we do all the
time and
Hess (02:46):
So one of you has a camp down there at Nolan Lake.
Delbert (02:48):
right.
Kathy's got a lake house and anice dock and a boat and it's
just a great time to go downand, just relax, reconnect chat,
be out on the water.
And then we all, we take turnscooking just like we all do.
But I was saying Hess, gosh,we're so lucky in Kentucky
(03:10):
because a lot of our activitiesand friendships and groups and
family things revolve around thewater because we have so many
beautiful lakes and rivers here.
Hess (03:21):
So about this group that I was just with, Delbert, we call
ourselves the couples camp.
And Maya Kollman, about 14 yearsago she proposed like a group of
us getting together and she puta bunch of different names out
and four, four other couples,including my wife, Cathy, and I
(03:42):
all said, yeah, let's do it.
Thumbs up.
Coming up with a date and atime.
So we would meet from Thursdaytill Monday and my dad and
stepmom had have a beautifullake house down at Barkley Lake,
and that's where we, that'swhere we started and that's
where we held about a 11 of ourcouples camps there.
(04:05):
And Susie, after my dad passed acouple years ago, the lake house
was sold a year ago, March.
And we couldn't go thereanymore.
So last year we went to NewJersey to Maya and Barb's Place.
They have a backyard pool, sothat gave us a place to sit
around and chat.
And she had enough space for allof us to be there at her house.
(04:28):
There were some allergiesinvolved which made it
disconcerting for one couple.
They stayed somewhere elsebecause of that, and that can be
hard.
then this year the Canadiancouple from Vancouver, because
of what's going on now, theywere afraid to come south across
the border.
And we said, okay, let's go upthere.
(04:51):
And they.
All flew in to Vancouver andstayed one night at their house
and then took the took two oftheir cars.
She brought a van from arelative, and we took the van
and another car.
There were 10, 10 people total,and drove to the ferry and took
(05:11):
this beautiful ferry, 45 minutesto Langley British Columbia, and
then had about an hour drive
Delbert (05:17):
Wow.
Hess (05:18):
place.
It's a place called MadeiraBeach and, oh, just this house,
Delbert.
Can I tell you this about that,
Delbert (05:27):
me this about that.
Hess (05:28):
Tamara was a little bit, Now this was a wild story too,
is one of Tamara, she's atherapist.
One of her clients said yeah,I'll be gone that week.
I'm going to the Sunshine Coast.
Oh, where are you going?
Madeira Beach.
Oh, really?
We're, we're we're gonna begoing there.
These she stayed in the samehouse that Tamara rented Renon,
(05:50):
two weeks prior.
Two weeks prior.
Is that crazy?
Or what?
Delbert (05:54):
Wow.
Hess (05:55):
Anyway, so when she got back, she said Tamara the house
doesn't have a living room.
And so Tamara thought, oh mygosh, there's no like living
room space.
Wow.
There was a kitchen with a bigtable at it, and there was five
bedrooms.
And Tamara was like, y'all, Idon't know.
But when we got there, Delbert,there's this huge back patio
(06:16):
that looks down on the water andit's just such a gorgeous view
and a beautiful outdoor kitchenand a fireplace outside.
So it was like perfect becausethat's the living space and I
told them I'd rather be outsidethan in.
And so this place is likeperfect.
Delbert (06:31):
Yes.
I prefer to sit outside.
I get ya.
I can, yeah.
Hess (06:36):
So anyway, yeah.
Attraction to the water.
So that's been a theme for ourgroup and for our lives,
Delbert, that we talked aboutbeing raised on the river that
we're we gotta be around water.
Delbert (06:46):
Exactly.
I met when I was in New Yorkwith one of my darlings.
I met a couple from Chicago andthey said, wow, you're from
Kentucky.
We've never met anybody fromKentucky before.
What are you all you know, do?
Are you all she goes, I thinkabout Kentucky and think you all
might be really into likehunting or something like that.
And I said, no.
(07:07):
I said, we grew up on the riverwe're most people that I'm
friends with in, in my family,we're all about the water.
People in Kentucky love boatingand love fishing and I'm sure
there's people who like to huntand stuff too,'cause there's
lots of land.
But she was very surprised thatpeople loved boating in
Kentucky.
Hess (07:29):
Yeah, we have the Ohio River running across the whole
north border from all the way tothe east of Kentucky, Ashland,
Kentucky, all the way down.
All the way down to CapeGerardo, in Missouri at the
Western Kentucky point ofKentucky, that Ohio River.
Runs that well, it runs I guessthat's the Mississippi River
(07:52):
down there by Cape Gerardo.
But it goes all the way to,through Paducah and on past in
west Kentucky.
Delbert (07:59):
We have eight, I think eight major rivers.
And then we've got all togetherwith all the bigger lakes and
rivers.
I think it's 65 lakes andrivers.
So
Hess (08:09):
Wow.
Delbert (08:09):
lot of beautiful water, lot of land.
And so one of our ways that weconnect is on the water.
Like we said.
I'm getting ready to go to LakeNolan with my ya Yas.
My Yaya sisterhood my seven corefriends from high school.
And we do that, we try to do ittwo or three times a year and
(08:33):
same.
Hess (08:34):
two or two or three times a year you go to No, to Lake
Nolan.
Delbert (08:38):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just so nice.
And actually we even go in thewinter, just sit out and look at
them.
The trees and the mountainsaround the lake, so it's just
gorgeous and even if it'sraining or snowing, it's just
really nice to be there.
It's like being on the lake andthe mountains in the winter.
(08:58):
So How do you pos we wonderedall these different ways that we
have friends and all theseconnections that we have.
Let us know how you connect withpeople, who your friends are,
where your friend groups are,what you all like to do, how you
connect and stay connected toeach other,
Hess (09:20):
Delbert when your daughters were young, I mean you
had a lot of friends probablythrough, through their friends
and parents of their friends.
Is that right?
Delbert (09:30):
I did have friends from their school and their
activities and things, and it'sone of the things where you grow
apart and then you'll see eachother.
It's no time has passed.
My, my biggest friend groupsright now are my work friends,
which I was thinking they werenew friends, but then I
remembered that I've known'emfor 21 years.
So I was like, they're not thatnew.
(09:51):
But just today I went to lots ofpasta and I love that store very
much.
And there's a lady in there thatwe both love the salmon.
She works there and we love theblackened salmon.
And I said, Hey, salmon friend,when I was checking out.
So she's just my salmon friend.
Hess (10:09):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
That's cool.
And Delbert, I'm in a concertlike four years ago.
My, one of my, one of my friendsfrom a parent of my son's best
friend, Ian Lee Walton, sheintroduced me to this pickleball
and I started going to Frankfortand playing pickleball.
(10:31):
I'm at a concert about fouryears ago.
Alicia Keys at RiverfrontRiverbend in Cincinnati, and
with the place sit seats like, Idon't know.
or 12,000, 8,000 or so, andwe're, I'm sitting in this seat
and the girl next to me hadattended St.
Peter Claver the same time thatI was attending St.
(10:54):
Peter Claver Catholic Church uphere.
And and anyway, she says, HeyJess do you play pickleball?
And I go.
As a matter of fact, I am.
And she said we play pickleballover here at our subdivision
Meadowthorp.
There's a bunch of us that livein Meadowthorp and there's a
couple tennis courts.
Why don't you join us sometime?
So Delbert, I'm so blessed inthe past three, four years that
(11:18):
I have 12 new good friends andit's so beautiful.
It's so amazing because.
We share things that are goingon in our life, the good times,
the hard times, and so forth.
And it just feels good to be tohave new friends that you make
at, I'm 67 years old that makingnew friends
Delbert (11:41):
still making new friends
Hess (11:41):
good.
Delbert (11:42):
and tell everybody about your friend that you all
were all there for today.
That's the great thing about me.
Hess (11:49):
One of the, one of the gals that plays pickleball,
which knew her, she plays inthis famous, she plays in this
famous band up here inLexington.
The real world string band.
She was the piano player forthem.
I'd been watching them for 35 or40 years.
And then here she is, she's onthis pickleball in this
pickleball group.
But her sister had been sick fora long time that lives out in
(12:11):
Tucson, Arizona.
And she just texted us todaythat her sister passed, and
more.
And we're all able to be therefor her, be there for the ups
and the downs of her sister'sjourney too.
Which is something,
Delbert (12:25):
it's a beautiful thing to witness and that's, that is
what friendship's all about,being there for the ups and the
downs and the good and the bad,and it feels good to be there
for somebody, but it feels sogood when people are there for
you too.
So such a nice two-way street.
Hess (12:44):
Yeah, for sure.
We've always got something newto share, some new news, and
we're also able to help eachother during some of these
harder times that we'reexperiencing.
our nation, we're able todiscuss and help each other and
let each other know what thingsthey're doing and we can do to
feel like we're making acontribution.
(13:06):
Yeah.
Delbert (13:06):
It's important to make contributions in really small
ways.
Hess (13:13):
Yeah so this, these friendship things the friendship
groups and new friendshippeople, like you're talking
about your pasta your pastafriend your blackened salmon
buddy.
You know that we can learn thesepeople's names and know more
about'em.
Even a singular person thatwe're meeting.
Just today.
Delbert (13:34):
Exactly.
And I should do that.
I should do that.
Really do enjoy making friendswherever I go to the grocery, or
I really do to engage withpeople and tell'em I like their
outfit or their shoes or theirsunglasses or whatever it is,
or, and I think it just, itlifts me up to, to see somebody
(13:57):
smile and to make'em feel good.
Hess (13:59):
I always call people out by their name at Kroger's, hey,
Mackenzie, how's your day goingtoday?
Or, I was walking into the paintstore the other day and I said,
is today gonna be a great day orwhat, yeah.
always, my mom's always chattedup people in the checkout lines
and she always modeled that forme.
Nobody's a stranger, right?
Delbert (14:18):
Oh, yes.
We are so fortunate.
Our moms were like that.
My dad was like that.
And my grandparents were likethat.
Very chatty.
Hess (14:27):
Yeah.
And one of, one, somebody that Ihave a great affinity for,
because she's real chatty, nevermeets a stranger, is my friend
Bonnie that's in this couplesgroup with us.
And once Bonnie and her wifeDarcy went with us to The
Bahamas.
Bonnie might not be too goodabout being, directions and
stuff.
And we walk around on the islandand there's a lot of different
(14:50):
paths and it was her first timethere.
And and anyway, we run intopeople that say, oh, you are
with Bonnie.
Oh, okay.
So you're staying at Bonnie'shouse.
Delbert (14:59):
Oh, that makes a lot of sense with me.
I love Bonnie.
I'm fortunate that Hessintroduced me to her friends
too.
Hess (15:07):
Yeah.
Delbert (15:08):
And yeah, I love Bonnie.
Hess (15:10):
so some of those people that mentor me to be just like
an ambassador to, to open
Delbert (15:16):
need to get better about names.
I really do.
I like that you go in the storeand say, hi, Mackenzie.
Or, yeah, that's good.
I need, yeah, I need to bebetter about that.
Hess (15:29):
And sometimes when it's a name I've never heard of, I'll
say, Hey, where'd you get yourname?
Tell me the story.
That's fun.
Delbert (15:37):
That is great.
I love that.
Hess (15:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And know everybody, oh I'mlistening to the Let them, book
Delbert (15:47):
Yeah.
Hess (15:48):
and she has a couple chapters about friends in there
and be the first person to walkup to somebody and say, Hey, I
just moved into theneighborhood.
Hey, and be the one to walk upthere first, like Bonnie does.
Delbert (16:04):
That's hard to do.
I'm trying to tell my darlingsto do that.
They're teenagers and that's notso easy to do sometimes when
you're young.
I, I think if you can breakthrough and try to be friendly,
you'd be so surprised at howgood it makes people feel.
And I do think that we grew upin a time where there just were
(16:26):
no strangers.
I think we were talking abouthow growing up on my street, we
used to invite all the neighborsover, charge'em money to get
into this talent show that weput on, and then we charge'em
money to get out, but my dadwould say, the kids made a
dollar 25 with their town show,and I, gave away$20 worth of
(16:50):
booze, trying to get theneighbors to stay, serving
cocktails.
But they would all come over andsit on the patio and talk about
the day.
And back then you could talkabout politics without getting
in a fight.
You just, it was just banter.
It was, how's the day going,what's going on in the world?
And, and then, we would say,excuse us.
Yes, we're gonna perform.
(17:11):
Now we'd stand up on top of thepicnic table and sing some see
you later, alligator orsomething like that.
My dad was a disc jockey and healso sold records back in the
1950s and early sixties andworked at WKLO.
Not really as a disc jockey, butback in the newsroom.
And every once in a while he'dsubstitute, but he ended up with
(17:34):
this huge 45 rec recordcollection and we would play him
all the time and put shows onwith him.
It was so fun.
Hess (17:43):
Delbert, I never knew that about your dad.
Delbert (17:45):
You didn't know that about Big Stan before he got his
real estate license.
Yeah, and he loved music.
So just a another realconnector.
He'd come home after work andsit in the.
Living room and play his albumsand his music.
And that's why my song for theBarkley Village was a show tune.
(18:05):
We love show tunes.
Yeah.
And, a lot of orchestra stuff.
So yeah.
And that's another way that weconnect, right?
Through music growing up, we'dgo to concerts.
Gosh, we had the best fansgrowing up.
What was your first concert?
Hess.
Hess (18:27):
Delbert, I think it might have been Al Green
Delbert (18:30):
Whoa.
Hess (18:32):
I forget the name of the gal from Sacred Heart I went
with, but I thought when I wentin and it was down at the ex
exhibition center.
And when we went in, thought Ithought Al Green was walking in
when I was,'cause all, therewere all these different groups
of people walking in with likeformal dresses and tuxedos and
(18:54):
stuff like that.
And I thought, wow.
Delbert (18:57):
like, this must be him with his entourage.
Hess (18:59):
Yeah,
Delbert (19:00):
They were doing it right.
Oh my gosh.
Hess (19:02):
up for him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just love al Green.
Delbert (19:06):
I love him too.
Dewey and I went to Joe Bauer,Dewey's dad took us to see Jesus
Christ Superstar at the Brownwhen we were in eighth grade.
Hess (19:18):
Wow.
Delbert (19:19):
So if that doesn't count as a concert, then I also
went with Dewey to see ZZ Topwhen we were a freshman.
Yeah,
Hess (19:26):
When you were the next year, you
Delbert (19:28):
next year, freshman in high school went to ZZ Top at
the Louisville Gardens.
Yeah.
Hess (19:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I shared this story this pastweek with my couples camp
people, is I have a, I have myticket st stuffed for Elton
John.
It was$6.
Delbert (19:46):
my gosh.
Hess (19:47):
And this guy that I would ride around in the car with, he
had an Austin, he had
Delbert (19:53):
Austin Healy.
Hess (19:54):
Yeah, he had some kinda sports car.
I didn't like him too much but Iliked the car and I liked
driving around in the countryand he said, Hey, do you wanna
go to, do you wanna go to theElton John concert with me?
I have second row seats.
And I go, sure.
And anyway we were in the secondrow of Section B on the floor of
(20:15):
Freedom Hall and there was awhole section of a in front of
us, but I just took my.
I just took my camera up to thefront, next to the stage, and I
got a picture of Elton Johnsmiling at me,
Delbert (20:29):
Oh my gosh.
Hess (20:31):
Yeah,
Delbert (20:31):
What a great memory.
What a great memory.
And that's the other great thingabout hanging out with friends.
You can rehash your memories,talk about things you did
together.
So beautiful.
Life is so beautiful.
So many ways to enjoy it.
And we wonder like podsters,what your favorite way is to
(20:52):
make friends to, to enjoy yourfriends.
How do you hang out?
What do you do?
Do you cook food together?
Do you go to concerts?
Hess (21:03):
Yeah, so what we did with our couples camp is each couple
will make a dinner one night,and Cathy and I used that nice
barbecue grill outside thatplace up there in British
Columbia and did our burgers andour baked fries.
And then.
It's really fun.
Each couple making a dinner andwe go, oh my God, this is so
good.
This is the best one yet.
(21:24):
And then the next night, oh mygosh, this is so good.
This is the best
Delbert (21:27):
Wow, you all are all good cooks.
My, my dinner that I'm cookingtomorrow night is coming from
lots of pasta.
I got homemade pasta noodlesfrom there and some homemade
sauce.
And I got some amisu and somelittle cannolis.
Hess (21:43):
Delicious, delicious.
Delbert (21:45):
Yeah.
But, I said when I was checkingout and they were slicing my
bread, they have homemade breadthat they slice for you.
And I said I don't cook, but youall do.
Hess (21:56):
Yeah, you get to use the talent of
Delbert (21:58):
Yeah,
Hess (21:59):
form in
Delbert (22:00):
we gotta, yeah, We gotta rely on each other.
We know.
I'm like, tell me what you wantme to bring.
'cause you all know I can shopfor it.
Hess (22:08):
Delbert the when we got together a year ago, March with
the Barkley Village to do ourlittle Brene Brown retreat at
Lake Barkley.
Karen from our high school waswith that group and she's this
magic chef and she's affiliatedwith the chef school in France.
And so that's broadened me to,I'm gonna go with another friend
(22:30):
of ours Mary Carol, to Francenext month to to go to Karen's
chef school.
Delbert (22:38):
And that's another way to connect with people and
you're get just do new things.
Try a new class, try to cook.
Who knows when I retire I mighttry to learn how to cook.
Gardening clubs.
I did take a flower arrangingclass with the Sacred Heart
alumni when I was still on theboard there, and that was so
fun.
(22:58):
The lady from Susan's floristdid a flower arranging class.
That was really just, so justtry new things, friends, and, in
these hard times, I think it'sso important to find your joy.
Find your group.
Find your village or villages,if you're fortunate, you've got
(23:19):
lots of friend groups, but youknow what?
You only need one good friendthat listens to you and is there
for you.
Hess (23:27):
Yeah.
And in, in volunteeringsomeplace, you can meet new
people and new friends and doingphilanthropy.
So that's a cool place.
Delbert (23:36):
Yes.
Oh my goodness.
Hess (23:37):
afraid, somebody needs you.
Delbert (23:39):
Yes.
I have so many.
I just thought about that.
I was just a blessings and abackpack today.
I have my Blessings friends andmy Carol's kitchens friends.
Yes.
So fun.
Life is so good.
There's so many things you cando.
Get out there and be part of it.
That's really what friends do.
They get you up off the couch.
(24:01):
They get you out there and doingthings and experiencing things
and laughing and loving life.
Hess (24:07):
exactly.
So think about that and gosomewhere new and say hello to
somebody.
And just start.
Delbert (24:15):
somebody's day.
Hess (24:16):
Yeah, thanks for joining us today on our Sunday morning
chat.
We love you all and it talkingwith you, Delbert always makes
me feel better, so hopefully youall listen in that you might
feel a little bit of sunshine inyour heart.
I always do after I talk toDelbert.
So
Delbert (24:34):
Right back and one of my favorite things to say is, we
love you friends because you areour friends and we love you.
Have a great week, peace andlove.
Hess (24:47):
Peace and love.
Hey everybody.
Thank you so much for joining usagain.
This is our pod number, Delbert.
Hold on.
Drum roll number 45 yes, everyweek where you're joining us for
our Sunday morning chat.
My name's Hess.
I'm sitting in the white chairand my bedroom looking out at
the farm.
Delbert (00:21):
That is a heave hut ho as Dewy would say, 45 Wow.
We're just getting so close to ayear's worth of.
Podcast and Hess is the one thatsets it all up and edits it, and
broadcasts it and does all thework.
I just show up on the greencouch and chit chat.
So welcome.
Thanks for joining us.
(00:42):
It's always a beautiful day inKentucky, whether you're, it's
raining or shining.
Hess (00:48):
So Delbert something that's been touching me,'cause I
just got back from a really cooltrip.
We have a group of five couples,five gay couples.
We are, we're tied togetherbecause we've known each other
for 20, 25 years through thework we do.
We're all certified.
Imago therapist, one of us inthe couple.
(01:11):
I just got back from theSunshine Coast of Vancouver, of
British Columbia.
into Vancouver, British Columbiameeting this group of friends.
So I thought I'd like to talk toyou, Delbert, and chat about
these groups and friendships
Delbert (01:29):
because we've been friends since first grade.
So one of the way you have yourfriend groups is through school
for sure, and lastingfriendships.
But I think an interesting thingtoo about old friends is how
sometimes you can drift apart.
You're just, you're in your lifeand you raising your kids, your
(01:50):
career, whatever you're doing,and then you come back together
and it's.
With really good friends.
It's no time has passed.
And I have so many friends likethat and you're one of'em.
And so lots of our friends arehigh school friends that we
have.
Our Barkley village is highschool.
And then I have another group offriends that I was talking to
(02:10):
you about that I've been reallytight with since high school
and.
Hess (02:15):
Do y'all call each other?
Do you have a name foryourselves there?
Delbert.
Delbert (02:18):
We used to call ourselves the Yaya Sisterhood
from the book, but lately Noniand I we both live on a street
that belong, that begins withthe letter H and so sometimes we
have an HHH, which is a happyhour on our street.
Hess (02:36):
Yeah.
Delbert (02:36):
so we just renamed our group the HHH Club.
We're all, but we're going tolake Nolan, which we do all the
time and
Hess (02:46):
So one of you has a camp down there at Nolan Lake.
Delbert (02:48):
right.
Kathy's got a lake house and anice dock and a boat and it's
just a great time to go downand, just relax, reconnect chat,
be out on the water.
And then we all, we take turnscooking just like we all do.
But I was saying Hess, gosh,we're so lucky in Kentucky
(03:10):
because a lot of our activitiesand friendships and groups and
family things revolve around thewater because we have so many
beautiful lakes and rivers here.
Hess (03:21):
So about this group that I was just with, Delbert, we call
ourselves the couples camp.
And Maya Kollman, about 14 yearsago she proposed like a group of
us getting together and she puta bunch of different names out
and four, four other couples,including my wife, Cathy, and I
(03:42):
all said, yeah, let's do it.
Thumbs up.
Coming up with a date and atime.
So we would meet from Thursdaytill Monday and my dad and
stepmom had have a beautifullake house down at Barkley Lake,
and that's where we, that'swhere we started and that's
where we held about a 11 of ourcouples camps there.
(04:05):
And Susie, after my dad passed acouple years ago, the lake house
was sold a year ago, March.
And we couldn't go thereanymore.
So last year we went to NewJersey to Maya and Barb's Place.
They have a backyard pool, sothat gave us a place to sit
around and chat.
And she had enough space for allof us to be there at her house.
(04:28):
There were some allergiesinvolved which made it
disconcerting for one couple.
They stayed somewhere elsebecause of that, and that can be
hard.
then this year the Canadiancouple from Vancouver, because
of what's going on now, theywere afraid to come south across
the border.
And we said, okay, let's go upthere.
(04:51):
And they.
All flew in to Vancouver andstayed one night at their house
and then took the took two oftheir cars.
She brought a van from arelative, and we took the van
and another car.
There were 10, 10 people total,and drove to the ferry and took
(05:11):
this beautiful ferry, 45 minutesto Langley British Columbia, and
then had about an hour drive
Delbert (05:17):
Wow.
Hess (05:18):
place.
It's a place called MadeiraBeach and, oh, just this house,
Delbert.
Can I tell you this about that,
Delbert (05:27):
me this about that.
Hess (05:28):
Tamara was a little bit, Now this was a wild story too,
is one of Tamara, she's atherapist.
One of her clients said yeah,I'll be gone that week.
I'm going to the Sunshine Coast.
Oh, where are you going?
Madeira Beach.
Oh, really?
We're, we're we're gonna begoing there.
These she stayed in the samehouse that Tamara rented Renon,
(05:50):
two weeks prior.
Two weeks prior.
Is that crazy?
Or what?
Delbert (05:54):
Wow.
Hess (05:55):
Anyway, so when she got back, she said Tamara the house
doesn't have a living room.
And so Tamara thought, oh mygosh, there's no like living
room space.
Wow.
There was a kitchen with a bigtable at it, and there was five
bedrooms.
And Tamara was like, y'all, Idon't know.
But when we got there, Delbert,there's this huge back patio
(06:16):
that looks down on the water andit's just such a gorgeous view
and a beautiful outdoor kitchenand a fireplace outside.
So it was like perfect becausethat's the living space and I
told them I'd rather be outsidethan in.
And so this place is likeperfect.
Delbert (06:31):
Yes.
I prefer to sit outside.
I get ya.
I can, yeah.
Hess (06:36):
So anyway, yeah.
Attraction to the water.
So that's been a theme for ourgroup and for our lives,
Delbert, that we talked aboutbeing raised on the river that
we're we gotta be around water.
Delbert (06:46):
Exactly.
I met when I was in New Yorkwith one of my darlings.
I met a couple from Chicago andthey said, wow, you're from
Kentucky.
We've never met anybody fromKentucky before.
What are you all you know, do?
Are you all she goes, I thinkabout Kentucky and think you all
might be really into likehunting or something like that.
And I said, no.
(07:07):
I said, we grew up on the riverwe're most people that I'm
friends with in, in my family,we're all about the water.
People in Kentucky love boatingand love fishing and I'm sure
there's people who like to huntand stuff too,'cause there's
lots of land.
But she was very surprised thatpeople loved boating in
Kentucky.
Hess (07:29):
Yeah, we have the Ohio River running across the whole
north border from all the way tothe east of Kentucky, Ashland,
Kentucky, all the way down.
All the way down to CapeGerardo, in Missouri at the
Western Kentucky point ofKentucky, that Ohio River.
Runs that well, it runs I guessthat's the Mississippi River
(07:52):
down there by Cape Gerardo.
But it goes all the way to,through Paducah and on past in
west Kentucky.
Delbert (07:59):
We have eight, I think eight major rivers.
And then we've got all togetherwith all the bigger lakes and
rivers.
I think it's 65 lakes andrivers.
So
Hess (08:09):
Wow.
Delbert (08:09):
lot of beautiful water, lot of land.
And so one of our ways that weconnect is on the water.
Like we said.
I'm getting ready to go to LakeNolan with my ya Yas.
My Yaya sisterhood my seven corefriends from high school.
And we do that, we try to do ittwo or three times a year and
(08:33):
same.
Hess (08:34):
two or two or three times a year you go to No, to Lake
Nolan.
Delbert (08:38):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just so nice.
And actually we even go in thewinter, just sit out and look at
them.
The trees and the mountainsaround the lake, so it's just
gorgeous and even if it'sraining or snowing, it's just
really nice to be there.
It's like being on the lake andthe mountains in the winter.
(08:58):
So How do you pos we wonderedall these different ways that we
have friends and all theseconnections that we have.
Let us know how you connect withpeople, who your friends are,
where your friend groups are,what you all like to do, how you
connect and stay connected toeach other,
Hess (09:20):
Delbert when your daughters were young, I mean you
had a lot of friends probablythrough, through their friends
and parents of their friends.
Is that right?
Delbert (09:30):
I did have friends from their school and their
activities and things, and it'sone of the things where you grow
apart and then you'll see eachother.
It's no time has passed.
My, my biggest friend groupsright now are my work friends,
which I was thinking they werenew friends, but then I
remembered that I've known'emfor 21 years.
So I was like, they're not thatnew.
(09:51):
But just today I went to lots ofpasta and I love that store very
much.
And there's a lady in there thatwe both love the salmon.
She works there and we love theblackened salmon.
And I said, Hey, salmon friend,when I was checking out.
So she's just my salmon friend.
Hess (10:09):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
That's cool.
And Delbert, I'm in a concertlike four years ago.
My, one of my, one of my friendsfrom a parent of my son's best
friend, Ian Lee Walton, sheintroduced me to this pickleball
and I started going to Frankfortand playing pickleball.
(10:31):
I'm at a concert about fouryears ago.
Alicia Keys at RiverfrontRiverbend in Cincinnati, and
with the place sit seats like, Idon't know.
or 12,000, 8,000 or so, andwe're, I'm sitting in this seat
and the girl next to me hadattended St.
Peter Claver the same time thatI was attending St.
(10:54):
Peter Claver Catholic Church uphere.
And and anyway, she says, HeyJess do you play pickleball?
And I go.
As a matter of fact, I am.
And she said we play pickleballover here at our subdivision
Meadowthorp.
There's a bunch of us that livein Meadowthorp and there's a
couple tennis courts.
Why don't you join us sometime?
So Delbert, I'm so blessed inthe past three, four years that
(11:18):
I have 12 new good friends andit's so beautiful.
It's so amazing because.
We share things that are goingon in our life, the good times,
the hard times, and so forth.
And it just feels good to be tohave new friends that you make
at, I'm 67 years old that makingnew friends
Delbert (11:41):
still making new friends
Hess (11:41):
good.
Delbert (11:42):
and tell everybody about your friend that you all
were all there for today.
That's the great thing about me.
Hess (11:49):
One of the, one of the gals that plays pickleball,
which knew her, she plays inthis famous, she plays in this
famous band up here inLexington.
The real world string band.
She was the piano player forthem.
I'd been watching them for 35 or40 years.
And then here she is, she's onthis pickleball in this
pickleball group.
But her sister had been sick fora long time that lives out in
(12:11):
Tucson, Arizona.
And she just texted us todaythat her sister passed, and
more.
And we're all able to be therefor her, be there for the ups
and the downs of her sister'sjourney too.
Which is something,
Delbert (12:25):
it's a beautiful thing to witness and that's, that is
what friendship's all about,being there for the ups and the
downs and the good and the bad,and it feels good to be there
for somebody, but it feels sogood when people are there for
you too.
So such a nice two-way street.
Hess (12:44):
Yeah, for sure.
We've always got something newto share, some new news, and
we're also able to help eachother during some of these
harder times that we'reexperiencing.
our nation, we're able todiscuss and help each other and
let each other know what thingsthey're doing and we can do to
feel like we're making acontribution.
(13:06):
Yeah.
Delbert (13:06):
It's important to make contributions in really small
ways.
Hess (13:13):
Yeah so this, these friendship things the friendship
groups and new friendshippeople, like you're talking
about your pasta your pastafriend your blackened salmon
buddy.
You know that we can learn thesepeople's names and know more
about'em.
Even a singular person thatwe're meeting.
Just today.
Delbert (13:34):
Exactly.
And I should do that.
I should do that.
Really do enjoy making friendswherever I go to the grocery, or
I really do to engage withpeople and tell'em I like their
outfit or their shoes or theirsunglasses or whatever it is,
or, and I think it just, itlifts me up to, to see somebody
(13:57):
smile and to make'em feel good.
Hess (13:59):
I always call people out by their name at Kroger's, hey,
Mackenzie, how's your day goingtoday?
Or, I was walking into the paintstore the other day and I said,
is today gonna be a great day orwhat, yeah.
always, my mom's always chattedup people in the checkout lines
and she always modeled that forme.
Nobody's a stranger, right?
Delbert (14:18):
Oh, yes.
We are so fortunate.
Our moms were like that.
My dad was like that.
And my grandparents were likethat.
Very chatty.
Hess (14:27):
Yeah.
And one of, one, somebody that Ihave a great affinity for,
because she's real chatty, nevermeets a stranger, is my friend
Bonnie that's in this couplesgroup with us.
And once Bonnie and her wifeDarcy went with us to The
Bahamas.
Bonnie might not be too goodabout being, directions and
stuff.
And we walk around on the islandand there's a lot of different
(14:50):
paths and it was her first timethere.
And and anyway, we run intopeople that say, oh, you are
with Bonnie.
Oh, okay.
So you're staying at Bonnie'shouse.
Delbert (14:59):
Oh, that makes a lot of sense with me.
I love Bonnie.
I'm fortunate that Hessintroduced me to her friends
too.
Hess (15:07):
Yeah.
Delbert (15:08):
And yeah, I love Bonnie.
Hess (15:10):
so some of those people that mentor me to be just like
an ambassador to, to open
Delbert (15:16):
need to get better about names.
I really do.
I like that you go in the storeand say, hi, Mackenzie.
Or, yeah, that's good.
I need, yeah, I need to bebetter about that.
Hess (15:29):
And sometimes when it's a name I've never heard of, I'll
say, Hey, where'd you get yourname?
Tell me the story.
That's fun.
Delbert (15:37):
That is great.
I love that.
Hess (15:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And know everybody, oh I'mlistening to the Let them, book
Delbert (15:47):
Yeah.
Hess (15:48):
and she has a couple chapters about friends in there
and be the first person to walkup to somebody and say, Hey, I
just moved into theneighborhood.
Hey, and be the one to walk upthere first, like Bonnie does.
Delbert (16:04):
That's hard to do.
I'm trying to tell my darlingsto do that.
They're teenagers and that's notso easy to do sometimes when
you're young.
I, I think if you can breakthrough and try to be friendly,
you'd be so surprised at howgood it makes people feel.
And I do think that we grew upin a time where there just were
(16:26):
no strangers.
I think we were talking abouthow growing up on my street, we
used to invite all the neighborsover, charge'em money to get
into this talent show that weput on, and then we charge'em
money to get out, but my dadwould say, the kids made a
dollar 25 with their town show,and I, gave away$20 worth of
(16:50):
booze, trying to get theneighbors to stay, serving
cocktails.
But they would all come over andsit on the patio and talk about
the day.
And back then you could talkabout politics without getting
in a fight.
You just, it was just banter.
It was, how's the day going,what's going on in the world?
And, and then, we would say,excuse us.
Yes, we're gonna perform.
(17:11):
Now we'd stand up on top of thepicnic table and sing some see
you later, alligator orsomething like that.
My dad was a disc jockey and healso sold records back in the
1950s and early sixties andworked at WKLO.
Not really as a disc jockey, butback in the newsroom.
And every once in a while he'dsubstitute, but he ended up with
(17:34):
this huge 45 rec recordcollection and we would play him
all the time and put shows onwith him.
It was so fun.
Hess (17:43):
Delbert, I never knew that about your dad.
Delbert (17:45):
You didn't know that about Big Stan before he got his
real estate license.
Yeah, and he loved music.
So just a another realconnector.
He'd come home after work andsit in the.
Living room and play his albumsand his music.
And that's why my song for theBarkley Village was a show tune.
(18:05):
We love show tunes.
Yeah.
And, a lot of orchestra stuff.
So yeah.
And that's another way that weconnect, right?
Through music growing up, we'dgo to concerts.
Gosh, we had the best fansgrowing up.
What was your first concert?
Hess.
Hess (18:27):
Delbert, I think it might have been Al Green
Delbert (18:30):
Whoa.
Hess (18:32):
I forget the name of the gal from Sacred Heart I went
with, but I thought when I wentin and it was down at the ex
exhibition center.
And when we went in, thought Ithought Al Green was walking in
when I was,'cause all, therewere all these different groups
of people walking in with likeformal dresses and tuxedos and
(18:54):
stuff like that.
And I thought, wow.
Delbert (18:57):
like, this must be him with his entourage.
Hess (18:59):
Yeah,
Delbert (19:00):
They were doing it right.
Oh my gosh.
Hess (19:02):
up for him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just love al Green.
Delbert (19:06):
I love him too.
Dewey and I went to Joe Bauer,Dewey's dad took us to see Jesus
Christ Superstar at the Brownwhen we were in eighth grade.
Hess (19:18):
Wow.
Delbert (19:19):
So if that doesn't count as a concert, then I also
went with Dewey to see ZZ Topwhen we were a freshman.
Yeah,
Hess (19:26):
When you were the next year, you
Delbert (19:28):
next year, freshman in high school went to ZZ Top at
the Louisville Gardens.
Yeah.
Hess (19:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I shared this story this pastweek with my couples camp
people, is I have a, I have myticket st stuffed for Elton
John.
It was$6.
Delbert (19:46):
my gosh.
Hess (19:47):
And this guy that I would ride around in the car with, he
had an Austin, he had
Delbert (19:53):
Austin Healy.
Hess (19:54):
Yeah, he had some kinda sports car.
I didn't like him too much but Iliked the car and I liked
driving around in the countryand he said, Hey, do you wanna
go to, do you wanna go to theElton John concert with me?
I have second row seats.
And I go, sure.
And anyway we were in the secondrow of Section B on the floor of
(20:15):
Freedom Hall and there was awhole section of a in front of
us, but I just took my.
I just took my camera up to thefront, next to the stage, and I
got a picture of Elton Johnsmiling at me,
Delbert (20:29):
Oh my gosh.
Hess (20:31):
Yeah,
Delbert (20:31):
What a great memory.
What a great memory.
And that's the other great thingabout hanging out with friends.
You can rehash your memories,talk about things you did
together.
So beautiful.
Life is so beautiful.
So many ways to enjoy it.
And we wonder like podsters,what your favorite way is to
(20:52):
make friends to, to enjoy yourfriends.
How do you hang out?
What do you do?
Do you cook food together?
Do you go to concerts?
Hess (21:03):
Yeah, so what we did with our couples camp is each couple
will make a dinner one night,and Cathy and I used that nice
barbecue grill outside thatplace up there in British
Columbia and did our burgers andour baked fries.
And then.
It's really fun.
Each couple making a dinner andwe go, oh my God, this is so
good.
This is the best one yet.
(21:24):
And then the next night, oh mygosh, this is so good.
This is the best
Delbert (21:27):
Wow, you all are all good cooks.
My, my dinner that I'm cookingtomorrow night is coming from
lots of pasta.
I got homemade pasta noodlesfrom there and some homemade
sauce.
And I got some amisu and somelittle cannolis.
Hess (21:43):
Delicious, delicious.
Delbert (21:45):
Yeah.
But, I said when I was checkingout and they were slicing my
bread, they have homemade breadthat they slice for you.
And I said I don't cook, but youall do.
Hess (21:56):
Yeah, you get to use the talent of
Delbert (21:58):
Yeah,
Hess (21:59):
form in
Delbert (22:00):
we gotta, yeah, We gotta rely on each other.
We know.
I'm like, tell me what you wantme to bring.
'cause you all know I can shopfor it.
Hess (22:08):
Delbert the when we got together a year ago, March with
the Barkley Village to do ourlittle Brene Brown retreat at
Lake Barkley.
Karen from our high school waswith that group and she's this
magic chef and she's affiliatedwith the chef school in France.
And so that's broadened me to,I'm gonna go with another friend
(22:30):
of ours Mary Carol, to Francenext month to to go to Karen's
chef school.
Delbert (22:38):
And that's another way to connect with people and
you're get just do new things.
Try a new class, try to cook.
Who knows when I retire I mighttry to learn how to cook.
Gardening clubs.
I did take a flower arrangingclass with the Sacred Heart
alumni when I was still on theboard there, and that was so
fun.
(22:58):
The lady from Susan's floristdid a flower arranging class.
That was really just, so justtry new things, friends, and, in
these hard times, I think it'sso important to find your joy.
Find your group.
Find your village or villages,if you're fortunate, you've got
(23:19):
lots of friend groups, but youknow what?
You only need one good friendthat listens to you and is there
for you.
Hess (23:27):
Yeah.
And in, in volunteeringsomeplace, you can meet new
people and new friends and doingphilanthropy.
So that's a cool place.
Delbert (23:36):
Yes.
Oh my goodness.
Hess (23:37):
afraid, somebody needs you.
Delbert (23:39):
Yes.
I have so many.
I just thought about that.
I was just a blessings and abackpack today.
I have my Blessings friends andmy Carol's kitchens friends.
Yes.
So fun.
Life is so good.
There's so many things you cando.
Get out there and be part of it.
That's really what friends do.
They get you up off the couch.
(24:01):
They get you out there and doingthings and experiencing things
and laughing and loving life.
Hess (24:07):
exactly.
So think about that and gosomewhere new and say hello to
somebody.
And just start.
Delbert (24:15):
somebody's day.
Hess (24:16):
Yeah, thanks for joining us today on our Sunday morning
chat.
We love you all and it talkingwith you, Delbert always makes
me feel better, so hopefully youall listen in that you might
feel a little bit of sunshine inyour heart.
I always do after I talk toDelbert.
So
Delbert (24:34):
Right back and one of my favorite things to say is, we
love you friends because you areour friends and we love you.
Have a great week, peace andlove.
Hess (24:47):
Peace and love.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Charlie is America's hardest working grassroots activist who has your inside scoop on the biggest news of the day and what's really going on behind the headlines. The founder of Turning Point USA and one of social media's most engaged personalities, Charlie is on the front lines of America’s culture war, mobilizing hundreds of thousands of students on over 3,500 college and high school campuses across the country, bringing you your daily dose of clarity in a sea of chaos all from his signature no-holds-barred, unapologetically conservative, freedom-loving point of view. You can also watch Charlie Kirk on Salem News Channel