June 8, 2025 • 27 mins
Hess and Delbert are together in Bethany Beach Delaware. They are there for a weeklong retreat with some high school friends. Adventure, lots to do, the beach, good meals, and doing work with the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. They share how the got there, getting up in the middle of the night for their 5:15 am flight. Crossing the beautiful Chesapeake Bay and beautiful farmland, they land in the beach condo. Beazie gives the tip for the next podcast about being who you are. Checking in with how you feel, what is best for you, is so important. If we are close to ourself, we have more presence to others.
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. José has finsihed two raounds of chemo--the second round much stronger. After a recent scan, there is great news the tumors have shrunk--ALOT! Thank you Lord, and José's positive frame of mind! He knows he will beat this! Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess and Delbert (00:01):
Hey, welcome to, let me tell you this about
that.
I'm Hess.
Hey, I'm Delbert and I'm not onthe green couch.
We are actually sitting in abeautiful bedroom on Bethany
Beach in Delaware, right?
So we are the beginning of ourweek long interaction with our
(00:22):
crew here, our.
Barkley Village.
We did a retreat January of lastyear and this is a retreat we're
gonna do here at Bethany Beach.
One of, one of our friends hadlives here now and we've rented
a big condo where the nine of uscan be and.
(00:44):
Bert, how did we get here today?
We got up really early, likereally didn't sleep last night.
Caught a five 15 flight fromLouisville to Baltimore.
So five 15 and I thought weneeded to be at the airport by
three 30.
And so that meant I came up toLouisville and stayed with my
(01:07):
brother Andy.
'cause I live in Lexington,about an hour east of
Louisville.
I came up and stayed with mybrother Andy, and set my alarm
for set for 2:00 AM and then.
I went to bed about seven 30 andI listened to a long kind of
help you go to sleep meditation.
Oh, good.
And I think about eight o'clock,my wife Cathy called me and woke
(01:31):
me up, but that was okay.
I went back to sleep and I firstwoke up at 1230 and I think.
I woke up at 1230 and I didn'tgo back to bed'cause I was
afraid that I wouldn't wake backup again.
So yeah, the hardest part of thejourney was getting up in the
middle of the night andeverybody came to my house.
(01:51):
We right, we took a lift and soon my way to Bert's house, I
stopped and picked up Beth andshe only lives six minutes away
from Dalbert.
And Dalbert you, which kindascared me, is you were gonna
call an Uber.
And you said I can call a quick,you Uber, what's the difference
between an Uber or a Lyft?
(02:13):
Or a quick Lyft?
You can schedule it out for 20or 30 minutes, but they come
really quickly.
And so you can ask for the onethat's the closest by you.
Like they they light up on alittle map.
Yeah.
And show you where they are.
And so I picked a deluxe once,'cause there we had so much
luggage that, and it, they saidRETA is six minutes.
So I picked it for sevenminutes.
(02:34):
I.
And then, and Beth and I pullinto Bert's driveway, and then
the Uber pulled up behind us andwe loaded all the luggage into
the Uber.
And you locked your doors off.
We went off, we went and it wasbefore the airport really opened
up.
So yeah, we could have worked ashift at the airport.
We got there before the workersthe TSA people.
Yeah.
(02:54):
So we could have, had a littletime to maybe work like a half
an hour shift at the airport.
But we made our flight.
We actually saw a beautifulsunrise through the plain
window.
Met this really cool guy named.
Was his name Josh or Jason?
Jason.
Jason on the plane.
He was so nice.
He was going to Costa Rica tosurf.
(03:16):
So he had three surfboards withhim, he said, and on the plane.
And the lady at the lady atSouthwest classified them as
snowboards and he, and so theygot the travel free.
Snowboards travel for free.
Just there's a tip for you.
Yeah.
But anyway, then we got a rentalcar and we had this beautiful
drive up the Chesapeake Bay.
(03:37):
So now we're here to just enjoythe beach and all the amenities
at this really great place.
We're staying at the sea colonyand and also just, get back in
touch with our Barkley Village,which.
It's become a very importantpart of our lives now.
Yeah.
So has had her niece be.
(03:58):
Stay with her for horse campthis week.
Yeah.
And Bezy said something sointeresting and I'm like, let's
talk about that on the podcast.
Yeah.
So my little 9-year-old niecehas been coming to horse camp up
at Care Station Farm for a fewyears now, and each year she
wants to stay a little bitlonger, so it's really
wonderful.
And of course each year she's alittle bit older and can do more
(04:20):
and she's just so amazing andjust so beautiful.
And we had so many good talks.
I always fix her some Barnardwaffles.
I have, we have a waffle makerthat makes a chicken, a cow, a
barn and a pig.
And I made two batches ofwaffles'cause she eats'em for
breakfast and lunch and dinnersometimes.
(04:43):
And anyway, I'm driving, be homeand, her little brother Owen Bey
came on Sunday and her littlebrother Owen came on Thursday
and I'm driving them homeSaturday back to Louisville and
Bey says, Hey.
Aunt Jesse, I've got an idea foryour podcast.
(05:05):
She's got the sweetest littlequiet voice.
I said, what is a beast?
And she goes I think that maybea good topic would be that you,
you have to be who you are andnot, and not go along.
With the crowd.
What do you think about that?
And I go yeah, that that'sreally good bees.
What, in your nine years whatcomes up for you about that?
(05:28):
And Bey said at school all thekids had Crocs and I didn't have
Crocs and I'd never wanted Crocsand all the kids had Crocs.
And I.
I got Crocs.
She caved.
Yeah.
But sometimes when you cave,here's the good side of it.
(05:51):
She decided she liked Crocs andthey're comfortable, and now
she's got a few pairs.
So at the farm worked out okay.
Yeah.
At the farm, she had a pile ofCrocs.
She had three pairs of Crocs.
She had a Crocs that had alittle fur in it.
She had Crocs that were morelike handles.
She had another pair.
Yeah, so she, she brought thatup that in, she experienced
(06:13):
that.
So that's a good point you justmade.
Delbert is sometimes peoplemight be wearing something
because it's comfortable and wecould try it out and we might
not just be, want wanting towear it.
We could still make the choice.
She could have made the choice.
If she didn't like'em, that shedidn't wanna wear'em.
Exactly.
And no, I don't want anotherpair.
(06:35):
But she's Hey, this is prettygood.
So yeah.
And sometimes we wear things forcomfort.
Sometimes we do things forcomfort, and it's all really
about just feeling yourself out.
Feeling.
How you feel in situations andwith things and with people.
And you were telling me about abook that you were reading
really about.
(06:57):
Making sure that you're stayingtrue to yourself all the time,
even when you're connecting withother people.
On, let me tell you, let me onthe podcast.
Oh, we can do hard things.
They were talking.
Yeah, we were talking to, theywere talking to Martha Beck and
Martha Beck made the point thatwe always gotta, we always gotta
(07:17):
put a percentage.
Into ourself of staying intouch.
What's our thermostat?
What are we feeling inside?
And if we're home alone, we canput a hundred percent into what
do I feel like doing?
What do I feel like what do Ifeel like doing right now?
What do I feel like eating rightnow?
What do I feel like, how do Ifeel right now?
And she said, and made the pointthat.
(07:40):
She had a friend that worked ina really busy hospital a
hospital during COVID.
Delbert.
Yeah.
And even in such a busy place,what helped her is she still
stayed 75% in touch with herinside, and 25% on the outside.
(08:01):
She was still able to doeverything she needed.
For her patients working her jobin the hospital and it helped
her stay.
Stay well, stay balanced.
Stay grounded.
Yeah, stay grounded.
I can see that because whenyou're being true to yourself, I
think you make the bestdecisions.
So she's probably making betterdecisions for her patients.
(08:22):
Right?
And yeah.
And you never think about thatbecause a lot of times when
you're in the outside world andyou're engaged with other people
and you're taking care of otherpeople, you're really thinking
about them more and what theyneed.
But God, that's just such animportant point.
I love that.
Okay.
Websters, we want you toremember that too.
Delbert.
Okay.
What.
(08:42):
Delbert, you're in real estate.
If you stayed 75% in touch, whatwas going on inside of you and
you have a busy day of showinghouses to client, to a client,
and then you have a busy daywith some, with another client
making offers or so on, oranother client on that same day
that, that wanted you to look attheir house to do a listing, how
(09:06):
would stay, how would it workfor you?
Staying in touch with yourself75% of the time.
You know what, when I get up inthe morning, I, and I do my
prayers and my meditation, I askGod in the universe to help me
stay in the frame of mind, to dothe very best for each person,
(09:27):
for each customer, for theirwellbeing and their personal
wealth.
So for me to stay true tomyself.
Every single situation is toreally stay engaged and listen
to what my clients want andlisten to where they wanna go
and give'em the best input andthe best advice that for me and
(09:49):
I just found out about thistheory on the plane this
morning, so I'm still cyclingthrough.
I might tell you all I couldchange that, but I do think that
when you're being true toyourself.
When you're taking care of otherpeople, that you really have to
be focused on what kind of jobyou wanna do for them, how you
want them to feel and what thebest outcome can be.
(10:11):
That's staying in my core, in mycenter.
Yeah.
So what I heard you say isbefore you even start the day,
you know what's on the agendafor the day.
And you do a meditation andcenter yourself.
And you tell yourself, you, theday you're gonna show up for
your clients and it's all gonnawork out and you're going to,
(10:32):
you're gonna show up.
The best part of you.
So there you go.
That then the best part of youshows up for them.
Shows up for them.
So it's just a win-win.
And I might think about thatsome more, think a little more
of this about that, but I thinkthat's what it is as.
The core of it is just reallybeing mindful about who you are
(10:55):
and the impression that youwanna make on the world every
single day, every single minute,every single hour, and then
living with that and doing yourvery best.
And then you go home and youjust have such a good feeling
about it.
It doesn't always go your way.
You probably have that with yourclients.
It doesn't always go your way.
(11:16):
With your clients, sometimes youmight have a time where you have
a little backslide or setbackwith them, but is that how you
feel about it or what's yourthoughts on it?
Okay.
You just flipped.
You just did a flip turn andflipped it back to me.
So as a licensed clinical socialworker, when I'm sitting in
(11:37):
front of my couple or sitting infront of my client.
If I stay grounded and in tunewith myself and as same with
you, Delbert, I'm gonna show upand be able to give to my
clients everything that I'velearned, anything.
And I really do have to stayattuned to myself, which Delbert
(12:02):
to be able to tell my clientsthe most.
And Delbert and because I'vebeen doing that.
I get this shiver down my arms.
I get goosebumps whenever I knowwe're on the right track.
Yes.
Such a good feeling.
We talked about the circle andbeing in the circle, and how
with your clients, you probablysee yourself come full circle
with them.
(12:23):
Yeah.
And you see them become the bestversion of themselves.
Yeah.
That's a beautiful thing aboutlife and about work, about
friendships and family.
It's also good, right?
So I guess I am as, as MarthaBeck said, really tuning into
(12:45):
myself to be able to notice thatI feel this.
And then my body reacts.
I get those goosebumps down myarm and it's I'll say, oh, that
just gave me goosebumps look.
And I raise my arm up and showmy client.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And what does that goosebumps goback to?
(13:06):
What does it go back to?
Oh, it's a scientific thing.
She's thinking actually if we,okay, if we were a cat and our
hair stood up on the back of ourneck, that's goosebumps.
For a cat, the hair on yournecks.
If we had more hair, we'd getmore of a good standup on that.
Okay.
Okay.
So goosebumps can be anindication of something that is
(13:29):
exhilarating.
Something that scares us orgives us the chills.
And animals get'em too, buttheir fur just stands up.
Yeah, I get'em when somethinglike a big insight happens or
something just thrills me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's primal.
The goosebumps are a real thing.
(13:50):
They're primal.
I'm really glad at my point inlife that I'm starting to be
more attuned to my body and feelthings like that.
Is it has to feel right on ourinside to feel good on our
outside.
Exactly.
And really not the book thatwe're reading for this retreat,
I told Hess it's The Gift ofImperfection by Brene Brown.
(14:11):
And it's such a good book.
I really wish I would've read itwhen I was in my thirties and
forties when I was raising mykids and.
And tried not to worry so much.
I think you want so badly foryour children to do well and to
connect and to have friends andto do well and all the things
they wanna, achieve.
And so you're so caught up inthat Sometimes you're just on a
(14:34):
hamster wheel and I'm like, Ireally wish I would've relaxed
more.
I wish I would've not cared.
I think a lot of it's just'causeyou love your child so much, you
just want them.
To have friends and to, be wellthought of.
But at the end of the day, doesit, it really doesn't matter as
long as you're loving them andencourage them and.
(14:56):
Everybody's doing their best.
It really doesn't matter.
I really had a good lesson oncewith my really good friend Lee
Walton.
Her son Ian, was one of Lucas'sbest jams, and they would just
speak their own language almost.
You know what?
Love it.
You know what?
Guess what?
Guess what?
You know what, and they wouldjust do this Limerick stuff in
the backseat.
It was so fun to listen to'em.
(15:17):
And they just really loved eachother and loved each other's
company.
And once, they did a whole lotof stuff together and Lucas and
I were gonna go to the pool orsomething like that, and I
called Lee and I said, Hey,Lucas and I are going to the
pool.
What's Ian doing?
And, lee said something thatstopped me in my track.
She says I'll ask Ian if hewants to go.
(15:42):
And what stopped me in the trackis if Lee would've called me and
said, Hey, we're going to thepool.
Does Lucas wanna go?
I would've said, yeah, he's notdoing anything, and I wouldn't
have asked Lucas.
That was a really point.
Yeah.
So she made a really good pointto me.
So I it, and it's not that we'retrying to control him.
(16:02):
No.
It's that we want him so badlyto have such a good time that we
just go ahead and accept withand Wow.
How wise was Lee for thinking ofthat?
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
And so I started, I took that onYeah.
And said, yeah we're alwayslearning.
This is going on.
Just checking to see if you'dwanna go do that.
We're always learning.
(16:22):
Always learning.
We're just human.
You're just humans.
I'm 67 and learning.
Still learning.
Yeah.
Still learning.
Yeah.
We've got a lot figured out, butnot all of it.
So one of my feel goods thisweek talking about being 67 as
my client asked she had abirthday coming up next week and
or this week, and I I said, howold will you be?
And she said.
(16:44):
36 and I go, okay.
Half my age.
And she goes, what?
How old are you?
And I go, I'm 67.
And she goes no, you're not 67.
I go, how old do you think I am?
And she said, I.
Not a day over 51.
And that makes you feel so goodbecause you're so young at
heart.
Too young at heart.
(17:04):
So see, that's what you'reprojecting.
Yeah.
Spirit Young.
Spirit, young heart.
You're projecting that.
And I do go work out at BurnBootcamp five days a week, and
she does work out at BurnBootcamp five days a week.
People in Lexington keep'emstrong, they build their jumps
and work on their farm and theystay healthy and fit and strong.
(17:25):
So we all got here, Delbert thethree of us from here?
Yeah.
Beth, you and I came by planeSouthwest.
We went Southeast on Southwest.
And we got here, our friendTerry lives here and our friends
Mary and Karen drove by car leftyesterday.
(17:46):
And we have two sisters that arearriving tonight about seven
o'clock I.
And so the adventure begins.
Yeah.
But the adventure, I think theadventure began when I was born.
It did.
It did.
It began when you were born andthen it began this morning when
we woke up at the, yeah, in themiddle of the night.
(18:06):
And we're gonna go.
Tell you friends that we'regonna go enjoy our friends and
we'll tell you more about ouradventures next week.
We, I'm sure we'll have so manythings to tell you but I'll tell
you, this is so funny.
Hess says remember in gradeschool when they used to say,
bus one, please line up, or carriders?
So we were Airbus one.
(18:27):
Yeah.
And there's two groups of carriders, no walkers.
Thank God.
Yeah.
No walkers.
Walkers.
Yeah.
No walker.
Nobody could walk it.
But it's so beautiful here.
There's farmland.
There's a little bit of someareas that we said look like the
low country.
Then there's this beautifulbeaches.
It's just everything.
And also it's the first state.
(18:49):
Delaware was the first state.
Yeah.
Mary Carol.
Read that on a bumper sticker.
You're we're always learning.
We don't know where we'relearning it from, but yeah, she
was a car rider.
So she saw the bumper sticker.
Yeah, she was a car rider.
We were in the air.
We didn't get to see anything,but saw a beautiful sunrise.
And we're gonna work on makingourselves better and just you
(19:10):
all we're in our room choices.
I'm making the point.
Get a feel.
Yeah.
See what it feels like in yourbody.
Do you wanna, do you want thetwin bedroom the twin bed
bedroom?
You know what?
Do you want the loft?
Do you want the extra bedroomwhere you know, what does it
feel like?
And then decide where do youfeel comfortable?
(19:30):
Exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
Then we can still switch.
I love it.
Hey, what I did a quote for, Ialways do a quote for work with
a pretty, and since it's pridemonth I did something with a
beautiful, like rainbowbackground and I did the deda
part of the deda.
And it's a reminder that we'reall children of the universe.
(19:52):
So you are a child of theuniverse, no less than the trees
and the stars.
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clearto you, no doubt, the universe
is unfolding as it should.
And then my other, and that's byMax Erman, but my other quote.
(20:13):
That my office didn't want me todo was I like my bourbon strait
and I love my friends and familyjust the way they are.
That's great.
So where were these quotes?
Oh, they're on my social media.
We make little postcards'cause Idon't send people postcards that
say, I sold this and I soldthat, and blah, blah.
(20:33):
Nobody cares about that.
People want inspir that I thinkpeople want inspiration and
beautiful pictures and so that'swhat I do.
For sure.
That's just me.
Hey, that's just me for sure.
And you do you and I'll do meboo.
I got our rainbow flag out andhung up.
Yes.
On our sign out by the road.
So happy pride month.
Yeah.
(20:53):
It's June.
It's June.
Happy pride, and hey just be whoyou are.
We love you friends.
Feel what it feels like insideand stay present here.
Your inside.
Notice it.
Yeah.
And respect it.
Respect it.
Yeah.
And you'll do better and you'll,and it's what other people need
(21:14):
that are around you.
It all works out better.
Okay.
Our friends a chef, and she madea delicious ragu.
Yeah.
All right.
Hey, peace and love you all,and, we're gonna grow and get
better this week.
And make it your best day too.
End week.
Yeah.
We're gonna be better the nexttime you hear from us.
(21:34):
Peace and love.
Peace and love.
Bye.
Hey, welcome to, let me tell you this about
that.
I'm Hess.
Hey, I'm Delbert and I'm not onthe green couch.
We are actually sitting in abeautiful bedroom on Bethany
Beach in Delaware, right?
So we are the beginning of ourweek long interaction with our
(00:22):
crew here, our.
Barkley Village.
We did a retreat January of lastyear and this is a retreat we're
gonna do here at Bethany Beach.
One of, one of our friends hadlives here now and we've rented
a big condo where the nine of uscan be and.
(00:44):
Bert, how did we get here today?
We got up really early, likereally didn't sleep last night.
Caught a five 15 flight fromLouisville to Baltimore.
So five 15 and I thought weneeded to be at the airport by
three 30.
And so that meant I came up toLouisville and stayed with my
(01:07):
brother Andy.
'cause I live in Lexington,about an hour east of
Louisville.
I came up and stayed with mybrother Andy, and set my alarm
for set for 2:00 AM and then.
I went to bed about seven 30 andI listened to a long kind of
help you go to sleep meditation.
Oh, good.
And I think about eight o'clock,my wife Cathy called me and woke
(01:31):
me up, but that was okay.
I went back to sleep and I firstwoke up at 1230 and I think.
I woke up at 1230 and I didn'tgo back to bed'cause I was
afraid that I wouldn't wake backup again.
So yeah, the hardest part of thejourney was getting up in the
middle of the night andeverybody came to my house.
(01:51):
We right, we took a lift and soon my way to Bert's house, I
stopped and picked up Beth andshe only lives six minutes away
from Dalbert.
And Dalbert you, which kindascared me, is you were gonna
call an Uber.
And you said I can call a quick,you Uber, what's the difference
between an Uber or a Lyft?
(02:13):
Or a quick Lyft?
You can schedule it out for 20or 30 minutes, but they come
really quickly.
And so you can ask for the onethat's the closest by you.
Like they they light up on alittle map.
Yeah.
And show you where they are.
And so I picked a deluxe once,'cause there we had so much
luggage that, and it, they saidRETA is six minutes.
So I picked it for sevenminutes.
(02:34):
I.
And then, and Beth and I pullinto Bert's driveway, and then
the Uber pulled up behind us andwe loaded all the luggage into
the Uber.
And you locked your doors off.
We went off, we went and it wasbefore the airport really opened
up.
So yeah, we could have worked ashift at the airport.
We got there before the workersthe TSA people.
Yeah.
(02:54):
So we could have, had a littletime to maybe work like a half
an hour shift at the airport.
But we made our flight.
We actually saw a beautifulsunrise through the plain
window.
Met this really cool guy named.
Was his name Josh or Jason?
Jason.
Jason on the plane.
He was so nice.
He was going to Costa Rica tosurf.
(03:16):
So he had three surfboards withhim, he said, and on the plane.
And the lady at the lady atSouthwest classified them as
snowboards and he, and so theygot the travel free.
Snowboards travel for free.
Just there's a tip for you.
Yeah.
But anyway, then we got a rentalcar and we had this beautiful
drive up the Chesapeake Bay.
(03:37):
So now we're here to just enjoythe beach and all the amenities
at this really great place.
We're staying at the sea colonyand and also just, get back in
touch with our Barkley Village,which.
It's become a very importantpart of our lives now.
Yeah.
So has had her niece be.
(03:58):
Stay with her for horse campthis week.
Yeah.
And Bezy said something sointeresting and I'm like, let's
talk about that on the podcast.
Yeah.
So my little 9-year-old niecehas been coming to horse camp up
at Care Station Farm for a fewyears now, and each year she
wants to stay a little bitlonger, so it's really
wonderful.
And of course each year she's alittle bit older and can do more
(04:20):
and she's just so amazing andjust so beautiful.
And we had so many good talks.
I always fix her some Barnardwaffles.
I have, we have a waffle makerthat makes a chicken, a cow, a
barn and a pig.
And I made two batches ofwaffles'cause she eats'em for
breakfast and lunch and dinnersometimes.
(04:43):
And anyway, I'm driving, be homeand, her little brother Owen Bey
came on Sunday and her littlebrother Owen came on Thursday
and I'm driving them homeSaturday back to Louisville and
Bey says, Hey.
Aunt Jesse, I've got an idea foryour podcast.
(05:05):
She's got the sweetest littlequiet voice.
I said, what is a beast?
And she goes I think that maybea good topic would be that you,
you have to be who you are andnot, and not go along.
With the crowd.
What do you think about that?
And I go yeah, that that'sreally good bees.
What, in your nine years whatcomes up for you about that?
(05:28):
And Bey said at school all thekids had Crocs and I didn't have
Crocs and I'd never wanted Crocsand all the kids had Crocs.
And I.
I got Crocs.
She caved.
Yeah.
But sometimes when you cave,here's the good side of it.
(05:51):
She decided she liked Crocs andthey're comfortable, and now
she's got a few pairs.
So at the farm worked out okay.
Yeah.
At the farm, she had a pile ofCrocs.
She had three pairs of Crocs.
She had a Crocs that had alittle fur in it.
She had Crocs that were morelike handles.
She had another pair.
Yeah, so she, she brought thatup that in, she experienced
(06:13):
that.
So that's a good point you justmade.
Delbert is sometimes peoplemight be wearing something
because it's comfortable and wecould try it out and we might
not just be, want wanting towear it.
We could still make the choice.
She could have made the choice.
If she didn't like'em, that shedidn't wanna wear'em.
Exactly.
And no, I don't want anotherpair.
(06:35):
But she's Hey, this is prettygood.
So yeah.
And sometimes we wear things forcomfort.
Sometimes we do things forcomfort, and it's all really
about just feeling yourself out.
Feeling.
How you feel in situations andwith things and with people.
And you were telling me about abook that you were reading
really about.
(06:57):
Making sure that you're stayingtrue to yourself all the time,
even when you're connecting withother people.
On, let me tell you, let me onthe podcast.
Oh, we can do hard things.
They were talking.
Yeah, we were talking to, theywere talking to Martha Beck and
Martha Beck made the point thatwe always gotta, we always gotta
(07:17):
put a percentage.
Into ourself of staying intouch.
What's our thermostat?
What are we feeling inside?
And if we're home alone, we canput a hundred percent into what
do I feel like doing?
What do I feel like what do Ifeel like doing right now?
What do I feel like eating rightnow?
What do I feel like, how do Ifeel right now?
And she said, and made the pointthat.
(07:40):
She had a friend that worked ina really busy hospital a
hospital during COVID.
Delbert.
Yeah.
And even in such a busy place,what helped her is she still
stayed 75% in touch with herinside, and 25% on the outside.
(08:01):
She was still able to doeverything she needed.
For her patients working her jobin the hospital and it helped
her stay.
Stay well, stay balanced.
Stay grounded.
Yeah, stay grounded.
I can see that because whenyou're being true to yourself, I
think you make the bestdecisions.
So she's probably making betterdecisions for her patients.
(08:22):
Right?
And yeah.
And you never think about thatbecause a lot of times when
you're in the outside world andyou're engaged with other people
and you're taking care of otherpeople, you're really thinking
about them more and what theyneed.
But God, that's just such animportant point.
I love that.
Okay.
Websters, we want you toremember that too.
Delbert.
Okay.
What.
(08:42):
Delbert, you're in real estate.
If you stayed 75% in touch, whatwas going on inside of you and
you have a busy day of showinghouses to client, to a client,
and then you have a busy daywith some, with another client
making offers or so on, oranother client on that same day
that, that wanted you to look attheir house to do a listing, how
(09:06):
would stay, how would it workfor you?
Staying in touch with yourself75% of the time.
You know what, when I get up inthe morning, I, and I do my
prayers and my meditation, I askGod in the universe to help me
stay in the frame of mind, to dothe very best for each person,
(09:27):
for each customer, for theirwellbeing and their personal
wealth.
So for me to stay true tomyself.
Every single situation is toreally stay engaged and listen
to what my clients want andlisten to where they wanna go
and give'em the best input andthe best advice that for me and
(09:49):
I just found out about thistheory on the plane this
morning, so I'm still cyclingthrough.
I might tell you all I couldchange that, but I do think that
when you're being true toyourself.
When you're taking care of otherpeople, that you really have to
be focused on what kind of jobyou wanna do for them, how you
want them to feel and what thebest outcome can be.
(10:11):
That's staying in my core, in mycenter.
Yeah.
So what I heard you say isbefore you even start the day,
you know what's on the agendafor the day.
And you do a meditation andcenter yourself.
And you tell yourself, you, theday you're gonna show up for
your clients and it's all gonnawork out and you're going to,
(10:32):
you're gonna show up.
The best part of you.
So there you go.
That then the best part of youshows up for them.
Shows up for them.
So it's just a win-win.
And I might think about thatsome more, think a little more
of this about that, but I thinkthat's what it is as.
The core of it is just reallybeing mindful about who you are
(10:55):
and the impression that youwanna make on the world every
single day, every single minute,every single hour, and then
living with that and doing yourvery best.
And then you go home and youjust have such a good feeling
about it.
It doesn't always go your way.
You probably have that with yourclients.
It doesn't always go your way.
(11:16):
With your clients, sometimes youmight have a time where you have
a little backslide or setbackwith them, but is that how you
feel about it or what's yourthoughts on it?
Okay.
You just flipped.
You just did a flip turn andflipped it back to me.
So as a licensed clinical socialworker, when I'm sitting in
(11:37):
front of my couple or sitting infront of my client.
If I stay grounded and in tunewith myself and as same with
you, Delbert, I'm gonna show upand be able to give to my
clients everything that I'velearned, anything.
And I really do have to stayattuned to myself, which Delbert
(12:02):
to be able to tell my clientsthe most.
And Delbert and because I'vebeen doing that.
I get this shiver down my arms.
I get goosebumps whenever I knowwe're on the right track.
Yes.
Such a good feeling.
We talked about the circle andbeing in the circle, and how
with your clients, you probablysee yourself come full circle
with them.
(12:23):
Yeah.
And you see them become the bestversion of themselves.
Yeah.
That's a beautiful thing aboutlife and about work, about
friendships and family.
It's also good, right?
So I guess I am as, as MarthaBeck said, really tuning into
(12:45):
myself to be able to notice thatI feel this.
And then my body reacts.
I get those goosebumps down myarm and it's I'll say, oh, that
just gave me goosebumps look.
And I raise my arm up and showmy client.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And what does that goosebumps goback to?
(13:06):
What does it go back to?
Oh, it's a scientific thing.
She's thinking actually if we,okay, if we were a cat and our
hair stood up on the back of ourneck, that's goosebumps.
For a cat, the hair on yournecks.
If we had more hair, we'd getmore of a good standup on that.
Okay.
Okay.
So goosebumps can be anindication of something that is
(13:29):
exhilarating.
Something that scares us orgives us the chills.
And animals get'em too, buttheir fur just stands up.
Yeah, I get'em when somethinglike a big insight happens or
something just thrills me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's primal.
The goosebumps are a real thing.
(13:50):
They're primal.
I'm really glad at my point inlife that I'm starting to be
more attuned to my body and feelthings like that.
Is it has to feel right on ourinside to feel good on our
outside.
Exactly.
And really not the book thatwe're reading for this retreat,
I told Hess it's The Gift ofImperfection by Brene Brown.
(14:11):
And it's such a good book.
I really wish I would've read itwhen I was in my thirties and
forties when I was raising mykids and.
And tried not to worry so much.
I think you want so badly foryour children to do well and to
connect and to have friends andto do well and all the things
they wanna, achieve.
And so you're so caught up inthat Sometimes you're just on a
(14:34):
hamster wheel and I'm like, Ireally wish I would've relaxed
more.
I wish I would've not cared.
I think a lot of it's just'causeyou love your child so much, you
just want them.
To have friends and to, be wellthought of.
But at the end of the day, doesit, it really doesn't matter as
long as you're loving them andencourage them and.
(14:56):
Everybody's doing their best.
It really doesn't matter.
I really had a good lesson oncewith my really good friend Lee
Walton.
Her son Ian, was one of Lucas'sbest jams, and they would just
speak their own language almost.
You know what?
Love it.
You know what?
Guess what?
Guess what?
You know what, and they wouldjust do this Limerick stuff in
the backseat.
It was so fun to listen to'em.
(15:17):
And they just really loved eachother and loved each other's
company.
And once, they did a whole lotof stuff together and Lucas and
I were gonna go to the pool orsomething like that, and I
called Lee and I said, Hey,Lucas and I are going to the
pool.
What's Ian doing?
And, lee said something thatstopped me in my track.
She says I'll ask Ian if hewants to go.
(15:42):
And what stopped me in the trackis if Lee would've called me and
said, Hey, we're going to thepool.
Does Lucas wanna go?
I would've said, yeah, he's notdoing anything, and I wouldn't
have asked Lucas.
That was a really point.
Yeah.
So she made a really good pointto me.
So I it, and it's not that we'retrying to control him.
(16:02):
No.
It's that we want him so badlyto have such a good time that we
just go ahead and accept withand Wow.
How wise was Lee for thinking ofthat?
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
And so I started, I took that onYeah.
And said, yeah we're alwayslearning.
This is going on.
Just checking to see if you'dwanna go do that.
We're always learning.
(16:22):
Always learning.
We're just human.
You're just humans.
I'm 67 and learning.
Still learning.
Yeah.
Still learning.
Yeah.
We've got a lot figured out, butnot all of it.
So one of my feel goods thisweek talking about being 67 as
my client asked she had abirthday coming up next week and
or this week, and I I said, howold will you be?
And she said.
(16:44):
36 and I go, okay.
Half my age.
And she goes, what?
How old are you?
And I go, I'm 67.
And she goes no, you're not 67.
I go, how old do you think I am?
And she said, I.
Not a day over 51.
And that makes you feel so goodbecause you're so young at
heart.
Too young at heart.
(17:04):
So see, that's what you'reprojecting.
Yeah.
Spirit Young.
Spirit, young heart.
You're projecting that.
And I do go work out at BurnBootcamp five days a week, and
she does work out at BurnBootcamp five days a week.
People in Lexington keep'emstrong, they build their jumps
and work on their farm and theystay healthy and fit and strong.
(17:25):
So we all got here, Delbert thethree of us from here?
Yeah.
Beth, you and I came by planeSouthwest.
We went Southeast on Southwest.
And we got here, our friendTerry lives here and our friends
Mary and Karen drove by car leftyesterday.
(17:46):
And we have two sisters that arearriving tonight about seven
o'clock I.
And so the adventure begins.
Yeah.
But the adventure, I think theadventure began when I was born.
It did.
It did.
It began when you were born andthen it began this morning when
we woke up at the, yeah, in themiddle of the night.
(18:06):
And we're gonna go.
Tell you friends that we'regonna go enjoy our friends and
we'll tell you more about ouradventures next week.
We, I'm sure we'll have so manythings to tell you but I'll tell
you, this is so funny.
Hess says remember in gradeschool when they used to say,
bus one, please line up, or carriders?
So we were Airbus one.
(18:27):
Yeah.
And there's two groups of carriders, no walkers.
Thank God.
Yeah.
No walkers.
Walkers.
Yeah.
No walker.
Nobody could walk it.
But it's so beautiful here.
There's farmland.
There's a little bit of someareas that we said look like the
low country.
Then there's this beautifulbeaches.
It's just everything.
And also it's the first state.
(18:49):
Delaware was the first state.
Yeah.
Mary Carol.
Read that on a bumper sticker.
You're we're always learning.
We don't know where we'relearning it from, but yeah, she
was a car rider.
So she saw the bumper sticker.
Yeah, she was a car rider.
We were in the air.
We didn't get to see anything,but saw a beautiful sunrise.
And we're gonna work on makingourselves better and just you
(19:10):
all we're in our room choices.
I'm making the point.
Get a feel.
Yeah.
See what it feels like in yourbody.
Do you wanna, do you want thetwin bedroom the twin bed
bedroom?
You know what?
Do you want the loft?
Do you want the extra bedroomwhere you know, what does it
feel like?
And then decide where do youfeel comfortable?
(19:30):
Exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
Then we can still switch.
I love it.
Hey, what I did a quote for, Ialways do a quote for work with
a pretty, and since it's pridemonth I did something with a
beautiful, like rainbowbackground and I did the deda
part of the deda.
And it's a reminder that we'reall children of the universe.
(19:52):
So you are a child of theuniverse, no less than the trees
and the stars.
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clearto you, no doubt, the universe
is unfolding as it should.
And then my other, and that's byMax Erman, but my other quote.
(20:13):
That my office didn't want me todo was I like my bourbon strait
and I love my friends and familyjust the way they are.
That's great.
So where were these quotes?
Oh, they're on my social media.
We make little postcards'cause Idon't send people postcards that
say, I sold this and I soldthat, and blah, blah.
(20:33):
Nobody cares about that.
People want inspir that I thinkpeople want inspiration and
beautiful pictures and so that'swhat I do.
For sure.
That's just me.
Hey, that's just me for sure.
And you do you and I'll do meboo.
I got our rainbow flag out andhung up.
Yes.
On our sign out by the road.
So happy pride month.
Yeah.
(20:53):
It's June.
It's June.
Happy pride, and hey just be whoyou are.
We love you friends.
Feel what it feels like insideand stay present here.
Your inside.
Notice it.
Yeah.
And respect it.
Respect it.
Yeah.
And you'll do better and you'll,and it's what other people need
(21:14):
that are around you.
It all works out better.
Okay.
Our friends a chef, and she madea delicious ragu.
Yeah.
All right.
Hey, peace and love you all,and, we're gonna grow and get
better this week.
And make it your best day too.
End week.
Yeah.
We're gonna be better the nexttime you hear from us.
(21:34):
Peace and love.
Peace and love.
Bye.
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