June 1, 2025 • 32 mins
Out of perfection nothing can be made. Every process involves breaking something up. The earth must be broken to bring forth life. If the seed does not die there is no plant. Bread results from the death of wheat. Life lives on lives. Our own life lives on the acts of other people. If you are lifeworthy, you can take it.
-- Joseph Cambell
In this episode, Delbert and Hess share their recent experiences of noticing the circles. The circles that begin, even in the face of some thing hard, even the tragedy of death. We do the next best thing, one step at a time. 16 years later, Delbert finds herself back in the same Texas Roadhouse where she sat stunned after her sister and nieces' death, now she returns and is tingling. She is being greeted by Taquan who just graduated, and how he was an integral part of Caroles Kitchen at his Seneca High School. We take the seeds that come our way, and we plant them, and even though circumstances happen, they will take hold.
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey, this is Hess.
Thank you all so much for tuningin to let me tell you this about
that.
Delbert (00:09):
Hey, good morning everybody.
This is Delbert.
I'm back on the green couchtoday.
Looking out my big picturewindow.
It's a little overcast right nowin Louisville, Kentucky today,
but I think the sun's gonna comeout.
It's supposed to be a beautifulday, and it's supposed to warm
up this week.
Hess (00:28):
Yeah.
Delbert (00:28):
forecast that was free.
Hess (00:32):
I am Hess and I'm talking to you all from Lexington,
Kentucky.
I'm on the white chair in myoffice looking out my window at
the horses out in the fields.
And I'm happy to be here andthese conversations started five
or six or seven years ago withDelbert and I on Sunday morning.
(00:53):
So thank you so much for joiningus.
Maybe in our conversation youcan relate to some things that
we talk about and think aboutthose in your own life.
And we'd like to talk to youthis morning about some circles
we've been experiencing.
Elton John in his movie quotesin one of his songs.
(01:18):
What was the name?
The Lion King.
Delbert (01:19):
Lion King, the Disney movie.
I love that movie so much, andlove the whole circle of life.
So read that Elton John song.
Hess (01:28):
It's the circle of life, and it moves us all through
despair and hope through faithin love.
So we find our place on the pathunwinding Elton John.
Delbert (01:44):
The circle of life, and so as we talk about like our
circles, I'm super hyper awareof.
in my life and my niece Lizzieteases me.
'cause I say, now that'scircular.
That just came right backaround.
And she teases me, every she'lllook at me and she go, that's
circular.
I've got almost like a buy one,get one and a half or two for
(02:09):
free today.
Circle story HEss, full circleone's a big one.
then there's just two littleones inside of that.
And we were talking with you allabout this retreat that we're
getting ready to go on with ourBarkley Village the first little
start of a story is that we havea friend who was gonna plan a
(02:32):
nice dinner for people who hadfood insecurity.
a chef and she was gonna makethis really nice dinner.
She had ordered all these linensand crystal and China and
silverware.
She was gonna just give them areally nice experience and for
whatever reason, I can'tremember what it was, she was
telling us about it at our lastretreat.
(02:53):
It got canceled at the lastminute and she didn't get to do
it.
So I've always had that in theback of my mind how sweet that
was to wanna do that and that, Iwork in food insecurity.
So we're reading this book theGift of Imperfection by Brene
Brown, and we're getting ready.
We're gonna leave a week fromtoday.
(03:14):
I'm so excited.
A week from today we'll actuallybe there.
We'll be.
Headed up the Chesapeake Baytowards Bethany Beach.
I'm so excited.
with that in mind, first part ofmy story in the big circle is
that, as I started a pantry atSeneca High School as part of
(03:34):
Carol's Kitchens mission Gettingready for the very last pantry
day of the school year, we had avery large amount of pasta,
sauce and pasta.
And so I told my friend Bob, I'mlike, whatever the recipe of the
month is, it's gotta be Italian.
he's yeah.
So he made this great chickenParmesan to put over a bed of
(03:57):
noodles and all the kids got therecipe and he had, he brought
like a.
Fresh Caesar salad and I'm like,this is, you know what, this has
gotta be a sit down.
So I asked permission from thecounselor if we could let them
sit down and enjoy that.
Usually they've just got maybelike a walking burrito, burrito
bowl or soup or something,chicken noodle soup.
(04:19):
So she said, yes, it's thesecond to last day of school
they can sit.
So I bought these.
Kind of disposable, from thedollar store, red and white
check tablecloths.
And I put fruit in the middle asa centerpiece.
And my friend Patty that startedthe pantry with me, she set it
with.
Silverware napkins.
And it wasn't as grand as ourfriend, but I dedicated that to
(04:44):
her.
This little, just like a sharedexperience.
And the kids sat down and atetheir recipe of the month and
they got to shop for theirgroceries before they went home
and.
Hess (04:55):
and you had the tables all arranged, in a big like a Big U
or something like that.
Delbert (04:59):
Like they were at a little banquet hall or
something.
Yeah.
wedding.
We set'em in a Big U so theycould all see each other talked
about, what do you like aboutthe pantry?
What are some fresh new thingsyou'd like to see next year?
And, how was your school year?
Just those little things.
And they just got to sit and wejust got to have community for
about 20 minutes.
(05:19):
So I.
Let the group know.
Yesterday I just said, Hey, Iwanted you to know that I
dedicated this to you, and it'sa small way, but it was an
experience and she liked that.
So we'll talk
Hess (05:31):
I want, and I want you to repeat when y'all ask, Hey, what
do y'all wanna see for nextyear?
You were trying to get feedbackfrom them.
What do you wanna see for nextyear?
And this one gal said, I wannasee you.
Delbert (05:44):
I said, no, she's one of my little sweethearts and
she's a junior this year, andshe just said, I just wanna see
you.
Is that sweet?
Hess (05:52):
So sweet.
Delbert (05:53):
I, I love'em all and I've gotten really close to, I
talked to you a little bit aboutthe outside pantry Taquan is,
such the sweetest, sweetestyoung man.
He plays football and basketballand his mom is a single mom that
works at the school.
And at the end of our littleItalian dinner, she came up to
(06:15):
me and gave me an invitation tohis graduation.
And I said, I'll be there.
I'm gonna show up.
You know that 90% of life isshowing up and,
Hess (06:25):
okay.
And more to say about that isgoing to Western has a
scholarship to Western and.
TE also talked a whole lot toyour niece who graduated from
Western, and she helped and gavethem some ideas about that
school or something too.
Delbert (06:41):
Right?
As much as we were talkingabout, recap the year, what do
we wanna see?
Yeah, Taquan got to talk aboutsome places on campus and what
he was studying, and listen toLizzie volunteered.
that last pantry.
She was, she just graduated fromWKU, so that was wonderful.
Yes, they
Hess (06:59):
Okay.
Delbert (06:59):
talk and commiserate about Western Kentucky
University.
And so I'm getting ready to goto the graduation and it's a
work day running a little teenybit late and.
What you don't know aboutJefferson County Public Schools
here in Louisville is that,there's so many high schools,
(07:22):
such a big school district thatthey have to take over kind of
the fairgrounds.
Louisville and there's all thesedifferent wings and auditoriums
and they have, maybe three orfour graduations going on,
staggered, like one at four, oneat four 30, and the parking is
just crazy out at thefairground.
So get there and I'm running alittle bit late'cause it's in
(07:46):
the afternoon and I'm comingfrom work and I just see red cap
and gowns.
I I'm, that's my location.
Seneca's colors are red and goldand I'm just like booking it to
this one auditorium where I seeall these red caps and gowns and
I get in there, whew.
I made it.
(08:06):
And so is the classvaledictorian.
I'm like, wow, I'm not thatlate.
How did I miss'em all going downthe aisle?
They're already on the speaker,but I sit down next to this man
and his baby The speaker spokeabout gift of imperfection.
Hess (08:25):
And this is a student.
Delbert (08:26):
This a student.
I'm like, and I'm listening tothis speech, just going, th I've
never met this kid at school.
This kid, wow.
He's saying, don't reach forthat perfect life.
Don't want to be so perfect thatyou don't try anything, because
when you try and when you falland get yourself up, that is the
(08:47):
stuff that makes you strongerand better.
You are not your failures thatdoes not describe you, but they
will make you a better personand push you forward and keep
you going towards that goal.
So don't.
Nobody's life is like it is onFacebook or on Instagram or any
kind of social media.
It's real, it's raw.
(09:08):
You gotta get in there.
And I'm like, oh my goodness.
He's talking about the book.
This is like the most amazinghigh school speech I've ever
heard in my life.
And then he says, so Butlerclass of 2025.
And I say,'cause I'm sosurprised I'm in the wrong
place.
(09:29):
I say loud a little bit, Butler,and the guy next to me goes.
Butler and the baby goes Butler,and they're, yeah, they're just
looking at me and I say, oh goshI feel like I should I should
have been here to hear thatspeech.
It was amazing.
And I'm doing something similarin my life, but I really need to
(09:49):
get to Seneca's graduation.
And so luckily I did sit in theright spot.
'cause that guy knew whereSeneca was graduating.
He pointed me.
So now I'm booking it.
I'm leaving Butler.
I'm glad I heard the speech'cause it's, and it's so
inspiring.
And I'm running and I'm runningand I, Ooh, I get to Seneca
Hess (10:07):
You you get your.
All finally to the broadbandarena part of.
Delbert (10:11):
Yeah.
And I don't miss Taquan.
And so the principal, when it'shis turn to get his diploma, he
calls his mom up to the stageand she gets to present his
diploma to him.
He just walked across that stagejust beaming and just bear hugs
his mother.
(10:31):
So I did not miss that.
oh, it was just beautiful.
She's just done this wonderfuljob with this young person and
his heart is just golden.
Like I said, he built theoutdoor pantry when he was a
freshman.
And we got, finally got itinstalled his sophomore year and
he stocked it.
It was his project every year tostock it and keep it for any
(10:55):
emergencies people had over theweekend.
And,
Hess (10:58):
Okay, so outdoor pantry what are you talking about
there?
That's
Delbert (11:01):
back to it.
I'll circle back to it so Idon't get the story mixed up.
Okay.
So he did stock the outdoor panfor emergencies and.
Anything that's people mighthave over, over the weekend
where they need hygiene and foodhygiene products.
So the graduation's over, and ofcourse there's millions of
(11:23):
people out at the fairgrounds.
I lose sight of Taquan and hismom, okay?
And I'm like, goodness, I'mnever gonna, I had a little card
for him and I really wanted to.
See them and congratulate themand tell'em what a great moment
it was.
So I waited and looked throughthe crowd for about a half hour,
couldn't find them.
(11:43):
So finally I just start walkingback to my car and I parked in
front of this big yellow Ferriswheel.
I'm like big yellow Ferriswheel, big yellow Ferris wheel.
You know how big that parkinglot is.
And I'm like.
In five, but I know there was abig yellow fear when I finally
get my car and I text her and Isay, just gonna have to, meet
you all somewhere and give youthis card.
I'm sorry I missed you all, butI was here.
(12:05):
I want you to know I witnessed,I was a witness to this and she
text me back a few minutes laterand she says, we're going to
Texas Roadhouse in St.
Matthews.
And without even thinking, Isaid, you know what?
I live close to there.
I'm just gonna meet you there.
gonna meet you there, and as Ipull into the parking lot, my
(12:27):
whole body starts tingling.
Hess (12:29):
Wow.
Delbert (12:31):
I haven't been to that Texas Roadhouse since Carole
and.
Megan died.
And what happened when Jeffcalled me on the phone that day
that they passed away, he said,I need to tell you something,
but I don't wanna tell you whyyou're driving.
Can you pull over?
And I pulled into the shoppingcenter.
And he told me.
(12:52):
And then I got really distraughtand I was conscious but blacked
out for a minute and I couldn'tremember anybody's phone number.
was just walking aroundShelbyville Road and
Hess (13:05):
So you got out.
You got out of your car.
Delbert (13:07):
out of my car.
Yeah I didn't wanna drive and Iwas just walking down this
really busy street inLouisville.
And I finally found my friendStewart's phone number in my
phone and called him and heworked in St.
Matthew's.
I knew he was close by, so said,okay.
I said, I don't even know whereI am.
(13:29):
He said, I want you to look upand whatever whatever kind of
store I want you to walk inthere and I'm gonna come get
you.
And I said, I see a TexasRoadhouse.
I'm gonna walk in there.
And it was early.
It was, like 11 or a little bitafter 11, and they were just
getting ready for lunch.
was in there.
(13:49):
And I just walked in and I said,I just need to sit here and wait
for my friend.
And they were so nice.
All the servers were so nice.
And I sat there and Stewart cameand got me.
And then, I went on to.
Be able to just get centered andcall my family and tell
everybody what was going on.
And I never went back into thatrestaurant ever again.
That was 16 years ago, andsuddenly I just spontaneously
(14:11):
agreed to go back there.
So I parked my car in that sameparking lot from 16 years ago,
and I go into the restaurant andhere
Hess (14:23):
Wow.
Delbert (14:24):
Taquan.
to the hostess stand to greetme, he walks around that
restaurant corner just gives methis big bear hug.
And it felt like Carol andMeghan hugging me.
Really did.
And so that was my big circle ofthe week.
(14:44):
The, I just felt wow, this wholeworld collided.
Together was something that Istarted for Carolyn, Meghan, how
amazing it was to just see thisyoung man all the way through
how important he was to thepantry.
I always say he, he made thepantry cool he, he was, Joe
(15:06):
cool, like Snoopy played all thesports.
He was kind, he was sweet.
He joked around with all thekids when they were shopping at
the pantry and
Hess (15:15):
he made everybody feel at ease and it was okay.
Delbert (15:17):
like it was okay to be there.
It was cool to be there'cause hewas there, just this big, huge
gigantic circle.
Within it, those two smallercircles of completing that
little dinner for our friend inour Barkley village.
And then just the little circleof seeing that speaker was meant
(15:37):
to see that speaker.
not Miss Quan's graduation.
And it just made me more excitedabout the book that we're
reading and so looking forwardto our retreat.
And so there's my circle of theweek.
What a week I had.
Goodness, I'm
Hess (15:55):
Whoa.
So you said as soon as youwalked into that restaurant,
you're you were tingling.
Delbert (16:02):
Oh yeah.
And I tingled for a really longtime afterwards.
I couldn't fall asleep thatnight because so many wonderful
things had happened.
I just had that last dinner ofthe school year.
I'd gone to graduation andwitnessed that, and then
witnessed this amazing speechand I just.
I don't think I fell asleepuntil about one o'clock in the
morning, but it was good.
(16:23):
It was just, I was reliving allthe good
Hess (16:26):
wow.
Delbert (16:27):
I always say there's story has a story within it too.
And last night you and I weretalking you are like, sometimes
you think you're just in astraight line and you're just
going from A to B and all of asudden you look around and you
are in a circle and you might bejust closing it up.
It might be a big one like mewith Carol's Kitchen and Megan
(16:48):
and Taquan.
Or it might be just a littlebitty one.
Hess (16:52):
Yeah.
Yeah, and Joseph Campbell wroteout of perfection, nothing can
be made.
So there we go.
The gifts of imperfection right
Delbert (17:04):
Yes.
Hess (17:05):
perfection.
Nothing can be made.
Every process involves breakingsomething up.
The earth must be broken tobring forth life.
If the seed does not die, thereis no plant bread results from
the death of wheat.
Life lives on lives our own lifelives on the acts of other
(17:26):
people.
If you are life worthy, you cantake it.
Joseph Campbell.
So our friend who planned aspecial meal, I.
For the people without homes,street people people that had
never been able to sit at atable with white cloth.
(17:47):
That's what she wanted to givethem.
She wanted to give them thisgood food that she made and the
special meal and have them sitin a special place to be able.
That they deserve, as anybodyelse deserves to eat like this.
And she gave you that seedDelbert, but her seed it
unfortunately, by some thingsout of her control.
(18:10):
It didn't happen.
But you took the seed and youplanted it.
You have the Italian table setup, the Italian tablecloth set
up on the tables at Seneca andgiving all of these kids chicken
Parmesan and they can all sittogether and commune together,
and talk together and betogether and eat together and
(18:33):
say what they want to seetogether.
That they have a voice.
They deserve all of that.
So you took that and youtransferred it to, to, to this
other place you let it live onBy the act of our friend with
that seed, right?
Delbert (18:53):
She planted that idea in my head and it took a little
while.
It's been, long ago were we atBarclay Village and heard that
story?
Hess (19:01):
Yeah.
Year and a half ago.
Delbert (19:03):
A little while.
I'll tell you about the outdoorpantry real quick.
Tycon built it like a big, hugered barn, And it had these
plexiglass flaps on the top twoshelves.
It was three shelves deep, long.
the top two have plexiglass thatkind of Velcro shut, so little
(19:23):
animals and stuff can't get in.
The top two tier have littleto-go silverware and salt and
pepper in one little area.
And then another little bin,it's got hygiene products that
you can grab and go, liketoothpaste mouthwash wipes,
(19:44):
shampoo and body wash, littlecontainers of that.
And then it's also got, easyopen cans of ravioli.
Stew.
It's got soups, it's gotvegetables canned fruit, and
it's got like tuna and cannedchicken breasts.
So it's just got, like a little,if you're having sort of an
emergency, you could actuallymake a little meal out of what's
(20:07):
out there.
You could get a grab and go andhave ravioli or stew or soup or
something and you've got thelittle utensils.
We did have some homeless peoplethat were on the other side of
the football field on the campusat Seneca, and I think they used
it quite a bit.
And I think Taek Kwon noticedthem saw them and wanted to make
(20:29):
sure.
And then there are kids who,it's right by the gym too.
There's kids that are coming outof practice that are hungry and.
And needs stuff.
So anyway, that was our outdoorpantry and it still lives on,
even though he's graduated we'vegot one of the alumni's gonna
stock it for the summer,
Hess (20:46):
wow.
Wow.
What a, what an amazing youngfellow, huh?
Delbert (20:50):
Oh, he is, he's just a bright light.
He really is.
Bolt.
Yeah.
Hess (20:55):
Yeah.
Just no matter what age or timeof our life we're at that we can
be a bright light and give somelight out.
Wow.
And when I think in my mindabout a circle, where does it
start?
Where does it end?
It doesn't so even thoughsomething bad might happen, it's
(21:17):
the beginning of.
It's the start of something new,even though as you're driving
down Shelbyville Road, that,that late morning, that fateful
day, that your sister and nieceand the little neighbor girl
died in that car accident, thatwasn't the end, that was the
(21:39):
beginning of something new thatyou didn't know yet.
But look, this whole circle camearound and you go back into.
Texas Roadhouse tingling whereyou are and with all of this
stuff that's happened 16 yearsago.
Delbert (22:00):
And we talk a lot about, doing the next best
thing, the next right thing.
In your life when you havedisappointment, it's so hard to
get back up.
But I promise you, if you do andyou just keep doing the next
right thing, beautiful thingswill happen.
You will get a flower.
Out of that seed, you will, Willalmost water it, but you will
(22:25):
get something fruitful from thatimperfect that happened.
create beauty out of it.
Hess (22:35):
Yeah, so beautiful.
So beautiful.
Our little Boston Terrier lastyear fell downstairs'cause her
cataracts were getting worse.
And this past March she felldown another set of stairs.
Because her cataracts aregetting worse.
And our vet and midway, Dr.
(22:57):
Nancy McGregor referred us toDr.
Tolar in Louisville.
That's an eye specialist foranimals and horses.
And Tessa had her cataractsremoved about seven weeks ago
and was recovering from that.
And then unfortunately on herright eye.
(23:20):
I noticed some swelling.
I noticed some watering.
I take her to Dr.
Nancy on a Saturday.
And Dr.
Nancy gives us some painkillerfor, we take her on Monday to
Dr.
Tolar and she's gotten a retinadetachment in that right eye.
And then as the week proceeds,she gets a she gets a bad ulcer
(23:41):
on that eye.
So Delbert last week her eye wastaken out so it won't cause her
any pain.
And I've known horses to havetheir eye out and they can still
compete and do well in life.
And I've known some dogs butnever had a dog with their eye
out.
And anyway with this eyeremoved, Tessa won't have any
(24:05):
more pain and she'll adapt.
She already has adapted to beable to just see out of one eye.
And my niece BZ is coming tohorse camp this coming week, and
we always borrow a pony.
For her for horse cam.
And I called our friend MarthaJohnson.
And Martha says, yeah we'll gether a good pony.
(24:26):
So I touched base with Marthaabout going to pick up the pony
yesterday on Saturday.
Like yesterday afternoon andMartha touched base and said,
are you gonna be able to, do youthink you're gonna be here?
Like you said, around three 30.
And I just called her and said,it's gonna be just a little bit
later than that.
Would that work?
Oh yeah.
It'll work.
It'll work.
And this Pony is the best pony.
(24:47):
His name's Hopscotch.
We use him in the hunt field.
He's really good with ladies andkids.
He is just perfect.
And he got his eye taken out twoyears ago.
He is missing his left eye.
Delbert (24:58):
Not be Hopscotch.
Got his eye taken out likeTesta.
They're gonna be two peas in apot.
How old is BZ now?
Hess (25:08):
B'S eight.
Delbert (25:10):
Oh, perfect.
Hess (25:11):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:12):
wow.
A week you're gonna have.
Hess (25:15):
For sure.
For sure.
And it's just, I go, Delbert,here's another circle.
Delbert (25:20):
I know,
Hess (25:21):
Here's another circle.
Delbert (25:23):
My goodness.
So great.
Life is so beautiful.
Hess (25:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Looking forward to it.
Delbert (25:29):
You gotta let it be beautiful.
So when does BZ get there?
I.
Hess (25:33):
BZ's gonna come today at three o'clock and we're gonna
have a great week together andbe, and I'm gonna practice these
guideposts that we're gonna workon at the barley Village
retreat.
I'm gonna do a, do theseguideposts with BZ also.
'cause you're never too young tolearn how to live
wholeheartedly.
Right.
Delbert (25:52):
It's about, oh, I and I love that living wholeheartedly.
Yes.
Beautiful.
I can't
Hess (25:58):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:59):
I'm so excited.
I can't wait to hear about yourhorse camp with BZ the week.
I love that you make thisspecial time with your niece.
So
Hess (26:10):
Yeah.
And we'll talk to you again nextweek as we're about to embark on
our trip to Bethany Beach forour retreat.
We love you all so much andthink about circles that have
come back for you people thathave reentered your life or
these special new connectionsmade from these other
connections.
(26:30):
And it's it's so serendipitousand so beautiful.
I just love it.
Delbert (26:37):
Have a great week, friends.
We hope all your circles arebeautiful.
And remember, we love you, andlove.
Hess (26:45):
And they will become beautiful.
Just be patient.
Love you all.
Hey, this is Hess.
Thank you all so much for tuningin to let me tell you this about
that.
Delbert (00:09):
Hey, good morning everybody.
This is Delbert.
I'm back on the green couchtoday.
Looking out my big picturewindow.
It's a little overcast right nowin Louisville, Kentucky today,
but I think the sun's gonna comeout.
It's supposed to be a beautifulday, and it's supposed to warm
up this week.
Hess (00:28):
Yeah.
Delbert (00:28):
forecast that was free.
Hess (00:32):
I am Hess and I'm talking to you all from Lexington,
Kentucky.
I'm on the white chair in myoffice looking out my window at
the horses out in the fields.
And I'm happy to be here andthese conversations started five
or six or seven years ago withDelbert and I on Sunday morning.
(00:53):
So thank you so much for joiningus.
Maybe in our conversation youcan relate to some things that
we talk about and think aboutthose in your own life.
And we'd like to talk to youthis morning about some circles
we've been experiencing.
Elton John in his movie quotesin one of his songs.
(01:18):
What was the name?
The Lion King.
Delbert (01:19):
Lion King, the Disney movie.
I love that movie so much, andlove the whole circle of life.
So read that Elton John song.
Hess (01:28):
It's the circle of life, and it moves us all through
despair and hope through faithin love.
So we find our place on the pathunwinding Elton John.
Delbert (01:44):
The circle of life, and so as we talk about like our
circles, I'm super hyper awareof.
in my life and my niece Lizzieteases me.
'cause I say, now that'scircular.
That just came right backaround.
And she teases me, every she'lllook at me and she go, that's
circular.
I've got almost like a buy one,get one and a half or two for
(02:09):
free today.
Circle story HEss, full circleone's a big one.
then there's just two littleones inside of that.
And we were talking with you allabout this retreat that we're
getting ready to go on with ourBarkley Village the first little
start of a story is that we havea friend who was gonna plan a
(02:32):
nice dinner for people who hadfood insecurity.
a chef and she was gonna makethis really nice dinner.
She had ordered all these linensand crystal and China and
silverware.
She was gonna just give them areally nice experience and for
whatever reason, I can'tremember what it was, she was
telling us about it at our lastretreat.
(02:53):
It got canceled at the lastminute and she didn't get to do
it.
So I've always had that in theback of my mind how sweet that
was to wanna do that and that, Iwork in food insecurity.
So we're reading this book theGift of Imperfection by Brene
Brown, and we're getting ready.
We're gonna leave a week fromtoday.
(03:14):
I'm so excited.
A week from today we'll actuallybe there.
We'll be.
Headed up the Chesapeake Baytowards Bethany Beach.
I'm so excited.
with that in mind, first part ofmy story in the big circle is
that, as I started a pantry atSeneca High School as part of
(03:34):
Carol's Kitchens mission Gettingready for the very last pantry
day of the school year, we had avery large amount of pasta,
sauce and pasta.
And so I told my friend Bob, I'mlike, whatever the recipe of the
month is, it's gotta be Italian.
he's yeah.
So he made this great chickenParmesan to put over a bed of
(03:57):
noodles and all the kids got therecipe and he had, he brought
like a.
Fresh Caesar salad and I'm like,this is, you know what, this has
gotta be a sit down.
So I asked permission from thecounselor if we could let them
sit down and enjoy that.
Usually they've just got maybelike a walking burrito, burrito
bowl or soup or something,chicken noodle soup.
(04:19):
So she said, yes, it's thesecond to last day of school
they can sit.
So I bought these.
Kind of disposable, from thedollar store, red and white
check tablecloths.
And I put fruit in the middle asa centerpiece.
And my friend Patty that startedthe pantry with me, she set it
with.
Silverware napkins.
And it wasn't as grand as ourfriend, but I dedicated that to
(04:44):
her.
This little, just like a sharedexperience.
And the kids sat down and atetheir recipe of the month and
they got to shop for theirgroceries before they went home
and.
Hess (04:55):
and you had the tables all arranged, in a big like a Big U
or something like that.
Delbert (04:59):
Like they were at a little banquet hall or
something.
Yeah.
wedding.
We set'em in a Big U so theycould all see each other talked
about, what do you like aboutthe pantry?
What are some fresh new thingsyou'd like to see next year?
And, how was your school year?
Just those little things.
And they just got to sit and wejust got to have community for
about 20 minutes.
(05:19):
So I.
Let the group know.
Yesterday I just said, Hey, Iwanted you to know that I
dedicated this to you, and it'sa small way, but it was an
experience and she liked that.
So we'll talk
Hess (05:31):
I want, and I want you to repeat when y'all ask, Hey, what
do y'all wanna see for nextyear?
You were trying to get feedbackfrom them.
What do you wanna see for nextyear?
And this one gal said, I wannasee you.
Delbert (05:44):
I said, no, she's one of my little sweethearts and
she's a junior this year, andshe just said, I just wanna see
you.
Is that sweet?
Hess (05:52):
So sweet.
Delbert (05:53):
I, I love'em all and I've gotten really close to, I
talked to you a little bit aboutthe outside pantry Taquan is,
such the sweetest, sweetestyoung man.
He plays football and basketballand his mom is a single mom that
works at the school.
And at the end of our littleItalian dinner, she came up to
(06:15):
me and gave me an invitation tohis graduation.
And I said, I'll be there.
I'm gonna show up.
You know that 90% of life isshowing up and,
Hess (06:25):
okay.
And more to say about that isgoing to Western has a
scholarship to Western and.
TE also talked a whole lot toyour niece who graduated from
Western, and she helped and gavethem some ideas about that
school or something too.
Delbert (06:41):
Right?
As much as we were talkingabout, recap the year, what do
we wanna see?
Yeah, Taquan got to talk aboutsome places on campus and what
he was studying, and listen toLizzie volunteered.
that last pantry.
She was, she just graduated fromWKU, so that was wonderful.
Yes, they
Hess (06:59):
Okay.
Delbert (06:59):
talk and commiserate about Western Kentucky
University.
And so I'm getting ready to goto the graduation and it's a
work day running a little teenybit late and.
What you don't know aboutJefferson County Public Schools
here in Louisville is that,there's so many high schools,
(07:22):
such a big school district thatthey have to take over kind of
the fairgrounds.
Louisville and there's all thesedifferent wings and auditoriums
and they have, maybe three orfour graduations going on,
staggered, like one at four, oneat four 30, and the parking is
just crazy out at thefairground.
So get there and I'm running alittle bit late'cause it's in
(07:46):
the afternoon and I'm comingfrom work and I just see red cap
and gowns.
I I'm, that's my location.
Seneca's colors are red and goldand I'm just like booking it to
this one auditorium where I seeall these red caps and gowns and
I get in there, whew.
I made it.
(08:06):
And so is the classvaledictorian.
I'm like, wow, I'm not thatlate.
How did I miss'em all going downthe aisle?
They're already on the speaker,but I sit down next to this man
and his baby The speaker spokeabout gift of imperfection.
Hess (08:25):
And this is a student.
Delbert (08:26):
This a student.
I'm like, and I'm listening tothis speech, just going, th I've
never met this kid at school.
This kid, wow.
He's saying, don't reach forthat perfect life.
Don't want to be so perfect thatyou don't try anything, because
when you try and when you falland get yourself up, that is the
(08:47):
stuff that makes you strongerand better.
You are not your failures thatdoes not describe you, but they
will make you a better personand push you forward and keep
you going towards that goal.
So don't.
Nobody's life is like it is onFacebook or on Instagram or any
kind of social media.
It's real, it's raw.
(09:08):
You gotta get in there.
And I'm like, oh my goodness.
He's talking about the book.
This is like the most amazinghigh school speech I've ever
heard in my life.
And then he says, so Butlerclass of 2025.
And I say,'cause I'm sosurprised I'm in the wrong
place.
(09:29):
I say loud a little bit, Butler,and the guy next to me goes.
Butler and the baby goes Butler,and they're, yeah, they're just
looking at me and I say, oh goshI feel like I should I should
have been here to hear thatspeech.
It was amazing.
And I'm doing something similarin my life, but I really need to
(09:49):
get to Seneca's graduation.
And so luckily I did sit in theright spot.
'cause that guy knew whereSeneca was graduating.
He pointed me.
So now I'm booking it.
I'm leaving Butler.
I'm glad I heard the speech'cause it's, and it's so
inspiring.
And I'm running and I'm runningand I, Ooh, I get to Seneca
Hess (10:07):
You you get your.
All finally to the broadbandarena part of.
Delbert (10:11):
Yeah.
And I don't miss Taquan.
And so the principal, when it'shis turn to get his diploma, he
calls his mom up to the stageand she gets to present his
diploma to him.
He just walked across that stagejust beaming and just bear hugs
his mother.
(10:31):
So I did not miss that.
oh, it was just beautiful.
She's just done this wonderfuljob with this young person and
his heart is just golden.
Like I said, he built theoutdoor pantry when he was a
freshman.
And we got, finally got itinstalled his sophomore year and
he stocked it.
It was his project every year tostock it and keep it for any
(10:55):
emergencies people had over theweekend.
And,
Hess (10:58):
Okay, so outdoor pantry what are you talking about
there?
That's
Delbert (11:01):
back to it.
I'll circle back to it so Idon't get the story mixed up.
Okay.
So he did stock the outdoor panfor emergencies and.
Anything that's people mighthave over, over the weekend
where they need hygiene and foodhygiene products.
So the graduation's over, and ofcourse there's millions of
(11:23):
people out at the fairgrounds.
I lose sight of Taquan and hismom, okay?
And I'm like, goodness, I'mnever gonna, I had a little card
for him and I really wanted to.
See them and congratulate themand tell'em what a great moment
it was.
So I waited and looked throughthe crowd for about a half hour,
couldn't find them.
(11:43):
So finally I just start walkingback to my car and I parked in
front of this big yellow Ferriswheel.
I'm like big yellow Ferriswheel, big yellow Ferris wheel.
You know how big that parkinglot is.
And I'm like.
In five, but I know there was abig yellow fear when I finally
get my car and I text her and Isay, just gonna have to, meet
you all somewhere and give youthis card.
I'm sorry I missed you all, butI was here.
(12:05):
I want you to know I witnessed,I was a witness to this and she
text me back a few minutes laterand she says, we're going to
Texas Roadhouse in St.
Matthews.
And without even thinking, Isaid, you know what?
I live close to there.
I'm just gonna meet you there.
gonna meet you there, and as Ipull into the parking lot, my
(12:27):
whole body starts tingling.
Hess (12:29):
Wow.
Delbert (12:31):
I haven't been to that Texas Roadhouse since Carole
and.
Megan died.
And what happened when Jeffcalled me on the phone that day
that they passed away, he said,I need to tell you something,
but I don't wanna tell you whyyou're driving.
Can you pull over?
And I pulled into the shoppingcenter.
And he told me.
(12:52):
And then I got really distraughtand I was conscious but blacked
out for a minute and I couldn'tremember anybody's phone number.
was just walking aroundShelbyville Road and
Hess (13:05):
So you got out.
You got out of your car.
Delbert (13:07):
out of my car.
Yeah I didn't wanna drive and Iwas just walking down this
really busy street inLouisville.
And I finally found my friendStewart's phone number in my
phone and called him and heworked in St.
Matthew's.
I knew he was close by, so said,okay.
I said, I don't even know whereI am.
(13:29):
He said, I want you to look upand whatever whatever kind of
store I want you to walk inthere and I'm gonna come get
you.
And I said, I see a TexasRoadhouse.
I'm gonna walk in there.
And it was early.
It was, like 11 or a little bitafter 11, and they were just
getting ready for lunch.
was in there.
(13:49):
And I just walked in and I said,I just need to sit here and wait
for my friend.
And they were so nice.
All the servers were so nice.
And I sat there and Stewart cameand got me.
And then, I went on to.
Be able to just get centered andcall my family and tell
everybody what was going on.
And I never went back into thatrestaurant ever again.
That was 16 years ago, andsuddenly I just spontaneously
(14:11):
agreed to go back there.
So I parked my car in that sameparking lot from 16 years ago,
and I go into the restaurant andhere
Hess (14:23):
Wow.
Delbert (14:24):
Taquan.
to the hostess stand to greetme, he walks around that
restaurant corner just gives methis big bear hug.
And it felt like Carol andMeghan hugging me.
Really did.
And so that was my big circle ofthe week.
(14:44):
The, I just felt wow, this wholeworld collided.
Together was something that Istarted for Carolyn, Meghan, how
amazing it was to just see thisyoung man all the way through
how important he was to thepantry.
I always say he, he made thepantry cool he, he was, Joe
(15:06):
cool, like Snoopy played all thesports.
He was kind, he was sweet.
He joked around with all thekids when they were shopping at
the pantry and
Hess (15:15):
he made everybody feel at ease and it was okay.
Delbert (15:17):
like it was okay to be there.
It was cool to be there'cause hewas there, just this big, huge
gigantic circle.
Within it, those two smallercircles of completing that
little dinner for our friend inour Barkley village.
And then just the little circleof seeing that speaker was meant
(15:37):
to see that speaker.
not Miss Quan's graduation.
And it just made me more excitedabout the book that we're
reading and so looking forwardto our retreat.
And so there's my circle of theweek.
What a week I had.
Goodness, I'm
Hess (15:55):
Whoa.
So you said as soon as youwalked into that restaurant,
you're you were tingling.
Delbert (16:02):
Oh yeah.
And I tingled for a really longtime afterwards.
I couldn't fall asleep thatnight because so many wonderful
things had happened.
I just had that last dinner ofthe school year.
I'd gone to graduation andwitnessed that, and then
witnessed this amazing speechand I just.
I don't think I fell asleepuntil about one o'clock in the
morning, but it was good.
(16:23):
It was just, I was reliving allthe good
Hess (16:26):
wow.
Delbert (16:27):
I always say there's story has a story within it too.
And last night you and I weretalking you are like, sometimes
you think you're just in astraight line and you're just
going from A to B and all of asudden you look around and you
are in a circle and you might bejust closing it up.
It might be a big one like mewith Carol's Kitchen and Megan
(16:48):
and Taquan.
Or it might be just a littlebitty one.
Hess (16:52):
Yeah.
Yeah, and Joseph Campbell wroteout of perfection, nothing can
be made.
So there we go.
The gifts of imperfection right
Delbert (17:04):
Yes.
Hess (17:05):
perfection.
Nothing can be made.
Every process involves breakingsomething up.
The earth must be broken tobring forth life.
If the seed does not die, thereis no plant bread results from
the death of wheat.
Life lives on lives our own lifelives on the acts of other
(17:26):
people.
If you are life worthy, you cantake it.
Joseph Campbell.
So our friend who planned aspecial meal, I.
For the people without homes,street people people that had
never been able to sit at atable with white cloth.
(17:47):
That's what she wanted to givethem.
She wanted to give them thisgood food that she made and the
special meal and have them sitin a special place to be able.
That they deserve, as anybodyelse deserves to eat like this.
And she gave you that seedDelbert, but her seed it
unfortunately, by some thingsout of her control.
(18:10):
It didn't happen.
But you took the seed and youplanted it.
You have the Italian table setup, the Italian tablecloth set
up on the tables at Seneca andgiving all of these kids chicken
Parmesan and they can all sittogether and commune together,
and talk together and betogether and eat together and
(18:33):
say what they want to seetogether.
That they have a voice.
They deserve all of that.
So you took that and youtransferred it to, to, to this
other place you let it live onBy the act of our friend with
that seed, right?
Delbert (18:53):
She planted that idea in my head and it took a little
while.
It's been, long ago were we atBarclay Village and heard that
story?
Hess (19:01):
Yeah.
Year and a half ago.
Delbert (19:03):
A little while.
I'll tell you about the outdoorpantry real quick.
Tycon built it like a big, hugered barn, And it had these
plexiglass flaps on the top twoshelves.
It was three shelves deep, long.
the top two have plexiglass thatkind of Velcro shut, so little
(19:23):
animals and stuff can't get in.
The top two tier have littleto-go silverware and salt and
pepper in one little area.
And then another little bin,it's got hygiene products that
you can grab and go, liketoothpaste mouthwash wipes,
(19:44):
shampoo and body wash, littlecontainers of that.
And then it's also got, easyopen cans of ravioli.
Stew.
It's got soups, it's gotvegetables canned fruit, and
it's got like tuna and cannedchicken breasts.
So it's just got, like a little,if you're having sort of an
emergency, you could actuallymake a little meal out of what's
(20:07):
out there.
You could get a grab and go andhave ravioli or stew or soup or
something and you've got thelittle utensils.
We did have some homeless peoplethat were on the other side of
the football field on the campusat Seneca, and I think they used
it quite a bit.
And I think Taek Kwon noticedthem saw them and wanted to make
(20:29):
sure.
And then there are kids who,it's right by the gym too.
There's kids that are coming outof practice that are hungry and.
And needs stuff.
So anyway, that was our outdoorpantry and it still lives on,
even though he's graduated we'vegot one of the alumni's gonna
stock it for the summer,
Hess (20:46):
wow.
Wow.
What a, what an amazing youngfellow, huh?
Delbert (20:50):
Oh, he is, he's just a bright light.
He really is.
Bolt.
Yeah.
Hess (20:55):
Yeah.
Just no matter what age or timeof our life we're at that we can
be a bright light and give somelight out.
Wow.
And when I think in my mindabout a circle, where does it
start?
Where does it end?
It doesn't so even thoughsomething bad might happen, it's
(21:17):
the beginning of.
It's the start of something new,even though as you're driving
down Shelbyville Road, that,that late morning, that fateful
day, that your sister and nieceand the little neighbor girl
died in that car accident, thatwasn't the end, that was the
(21:39):
beginning of something new thatyou didn't know yet.
But look, this whole circle camearound and you go back into.
Texas Roadhouse tingling whereyou are and with all of this
stuff that's happened 16 yearsago.
Delbert (22:00):
And we talk a lot about, doing the next best
thing, the next right thing.
In your life when you havedisappointment, it's so hard to
get back up.
But I promise you, if you do andyou just keep doing the next
right thing, beautiful thingswill happen.
You will get a flower.
Out of that seed, you will, Willalmost water it, but you will
(22:25):
get something fruitful from thatimperfect that happened.
create beauty out of it.
Hess (22:35):
Yeah, so beautiful.
So beautiful.
Our little Boston Terrier lastyear fell downstairs'cause her
cataracts were getting worse.
And this past March she felldown another set of stairs.
Because her cataracts aregetting worse.
And our vet and midway, Dr.
(22:57):
Nancy McGregor referred us toDr.
Tolar in Louisville.
That's an eye specialist foranimals and horses.
And Tessa had her cataractsremoved about seven weeks ago
and was recovering from that.
And then unfortunately on herright eye.
(23:20):
I noticed some swelling.
I noticed some watering.
I take her to Dr.
Nancy on a Saturday.
And Dr.
Nancy gives us some painkillerfor, we take her on Monday to
Dr.
Tolar and she's gotten a retinadetachment in that right eye.
And then as the week proceeds,she gets a she gets a bad ulcer
(23:41):
on that eye.
So Delbert last week her eye wastaken out so it won't cause her
any pain.
And I've known horses to havetheir eye out and they can still
compete and do well in life.
And I've known some dogs butnever had a dog with their eye
out.
And anyway with this eyeremoved, Tessa won't have any
(24:05):
more pain and she'll adapt.
She already has adapted to beable to just see out of one eye.
And my niece BZ is coming tohorse camp this coming week, and
we always borrow a pony.
For her for horse cam.
And I called our friend MarthaJohnson.
And Martha says, yeah we'll gether a good pony.
(24:26):
So I touched base with Marthaabout going to pick up the pony
yesterday on Saturday.
Like yesterday afternoon andMartha touched base and said,
are you gonna be able to, do youthink you're gonna be here?
Like you said, around three 30.
And I just called her and said,it's gonna be just a little bit
later than that.
Would that work?
Oh yeah.
It'll work.
It'll work.
And this Pony is the best pony.
(24:47):
His name's Hopscotch.
We use him in the hunt field.
He's really good with ladies andkids.
He is just perfect.
And he got his eye taken out twoyears ago.
He is missing his left eye.
Delbert (24:58):
Not be Hopscotch.
Got his eye taken out likeTesta.
They're gonna be two peas in apot.
How old is BZ now?
Hess (25:08):
B'S eight.
Delbert (25:10):
Oh, perfect.
Hess (25:11):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:12):
wow.
A week you're gonna have.
Hess (25:15):
For sure.
For sure.
And it's just, I go, Delbert,here's another circle.
Delbert (25:20):
I know,
Hess (25:21):
Here's another circle.
Delbert (25:23):
My goodness.
So great.
Life is so beautiful.
Hess (25:27):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Looking forward to it.
Delbert (25:29):
You gotta let it be beautiful.
So when does BZ get there?
I.
Hess (25:33):
BZ's gonna come today at three o'clock and we're gonna
have a great week together andbe, and I'm gonna practice these
guideposts that we're gonna workon at the barley Village
retreat.
I'm gonna do a, do theseguideposts with BZ also.
'cause you're never too young tolearn how to live
wholeheartedly.
Right.
Delbert (25:52):
It's about, oh, I and I love that living wholeheartedly.
Yes.
Beautiful.
I can't
Hess (25:58):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:59):
I'm so excited.
I can't wait to hear about yourhorse camp with BZ the week.
I love that you make thisspecial time with your niece.
So
Hess (26:10):
Yeah.
And we'll talk to you again nextweek as we're about to embark on
our trip to Bethany Beach forour retreat.
We love you all so much andthink about circles that have
come back for you people thathave reentered your life or
these special new connectionsmade from these other
connections.
(26:30):
And it's it's so serendipitousand so beautiful.
I just love it.
Delbert (26:37):
Have a great week, friends.
We hope all your circles arebeautiful.
And remember, we love you, andlove.
Hess (26:45):
And they will become beautiful.
Just be patient.
Love you all.
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