September 22, 2025 • 29 mins
Possibility—You Reframe #49!
Delbert and Hess have a Sunday afternoon chat today. Hess just got back from boating with a friend on Dale Hollow Lake. They are “lit up” and excited today to talk about Possibility. After Hess finished college—her Dad asked her what she was going to do, and when she told him she wanted to start a fruit market in Lexington, he responded, “Look into it.” That was such a positive open response, Hess looked into it, and opened up that summer. Naive is NOT a negative, naive means you have the energy not stifled by negative experiences. Her truck broke down on the Kentucky River Bridge returning from market and she handled it when it happened. There is less worry. Delbert did a reframe from tragedy of her sister and nieces death and made Caroles Kitchen, serving youth hunger. Father Greg Boyle in LA with his Homeboy Industries sees the possibilities in the gang members, he gives them a new place to belong, work and learn. The teacher reframes acceptance to her students. Connection and the “WE” moves us from US and THEM and gives a sense of greater good for the whole.
Listen up—We love you, thanks for joining us.
I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. This week José received radiation in his lower spine every day. We are awaiting the next CT Scans. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey everybody, this is Hess and I'm sitting in the
white chair and I'm so glad thatyou joined us on, let me tell
you this about that,
Delbert (00:11):
Hey everybody, it's me, Delbert.
I'm on the green couch.
As always, it is a beautiful dayin Louisville, Kentucky.
Hess your rain dance did work.
It did rain today.
Hess (00:25):
And we're gonna get more rain.
We're gonna get more rain.
Delbert (00:27):
It's beautiful.
The grass is greening up alittle bit.
But we still had some sunshineand we're actually talking to
each other a little later todaybecause Hess had a fantastic
trip to Dale Hollow Lake.
Hess (00:43):
Yeah, my friend Cathie Velata and I took the relation
ship, my boat and trailered ondown to Dale Hollow Lake and
spent Friday night and Saturdaynight on the hook.
Different coves and swam bunchesof times during the day.
Delbert, you would've lovedthat.
The reason Dale Hollow Delbert,now Dale Hollow is down in the
(01:06):
central Kentucky on the southernborder.
So like half of it's inKentucky, half of it's in
Tennessee.
my brother-in-law, Frank, he andmy sister used to have used to
share a houseboat down therewith Bebe Arnold for years.
And I had been down there, a fewtimes many years ago, and it's
(01:27):
just a beautiful lake.
So I'm back and it's later on inthe afternoon.
It was a great trip.
I'm all energized and allexcited to talk about our topic
today,
Delbert (01:39):
Yes, go ahead and start off Hess,'cause you're super
energized and you've got a lotto say.
You said.
Hess (01:46):
Oh, I always have a lot to say.
I'm reading the book right now.
The Art of Possibility I don'tknow where it was.
I saw it, but this is like oneof the top five books that you
must read in your life is byRosamund Stones Zander, she is a
psychologist and she's marriedto Benjamin Zander and he is a
(02:08):
maestro for the BostonPhilharmonic.
their book, the Art ofPossibility is a fantastic book
about being able to turn thingsaround, reframe'em.
And look for the positive.
The I, the issue I have folks isin its 59th printing.
59th.
Wow.
(02:29):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was first published in byPenguin Books in 2000.
Oh.
It was first published byHarvard Business School.
Press 2000 Publishing PenguinBooks.
2002, a great book, the Art ofPossibility and Delbert, just,
we touch on this a lot and it's.
(02:50):
I've told you all out there thatwhen I graduated high school,
dad looked at my resume and hesays, what are you gonna do?
It looks like you're just a freespirit.
Because I put in there that I'dridden a bicycle across the
country because I wanted to showthat's why I didn't work.
And that might show that I'vegot some determination and when,
when my dad asked me, what areyou gonna do?
(03:11):
What are you gonna do?
And I said I think Lexingtonneeds a fruit market.
And my dad says look into it.
What a way to, what a way to,reframe and give a possible,
give a possibility to something.
Look into it.
It wasn't a, it wasn't a fistdown on the table.
No.
Or are you crazy?
(03:32):
It was like look into it.
Delbert (03:34):
Exactly right.
Yeah.
And you came up with a businessplan for that.
Hess (03:41):
I don't even know if I came up with a business plan,
Delbert, but another thing I wasthinking about when I was
driving is the I was young.
I was just outta college.
I was 22 years old, and was,what do you, what's the word?
When you're just young and youdon't know better.
Delbert (03:56):
Yeah,
Hess (03:56):
like,
Delbert (03:57):
a little naive, but you're also very positive and
you haven't been, maybe pusheddown by the world.
You're full of hope.
You've got dreams and you've gotall that stamina.
And sometimes or maybe most ofthe time that's better than a
business plan.
Hess (04:12):
Naive doesn't mean that you're stupid.
Naive means I didn't know thatmy, my truck might break down on
the Kentucky River Bridge, so Inever worried about it And then
I handled it.
Delbert (04:22):
Because you know what, honestly, there's not really
anything that you can't handlethat comes about if you use your
imagination and that was a quotefrom Mel Robbins.
I just listened to her.
Eight things that you shouldtell yourself in the morning
and, your record for surviving.
The storms of life is a hundredpercent right now, right?
(04:46):
We've Everything
Hess (04:47):
sure.
Yeah.
I think in my office it used tobe here on my thermometer in my
bedroom, but I moved it to myoffice of trying to fight the
storm dance in the rain.
Delbert (04:59):
And shift the sales.
Like adjust, adjust the storythat you sent me about the
teacher who had the little girlin her classroom who had cancer
and the kids made fun of herbecause she had no hair.
She rewrote the rules of herclassroom, right?
She shifted the sails and sheshaved her head right.
Hess (05:20):
So the story is, and this is in the Art of Possibility,
where the teacher reframed it.
This little girl, the kids inher class, I think she was in
second grade, she had leukemiaand she had just undergone
treatment and she lost her hair.
So she's had this scarf, thekids pull her little scarf off
and she's so embarrassed.
She goes home, the kids are alllaughing.
She says, mom, I never wanna goto school again.
(05:42):
I never wanna go to school.
And her mom said, look.
You gotta go to school, it'llonly be a short time your hair
grow back.
So there, and the next morningin school, the teacher comes in
and just, she greets thechildren in the same way that
she usually does.
And she says, welcome children.
She takes off her coat and hangsit up and she takes off her
scarf and she shaved her headand.
(06:04):
The students just looked like,whoa.
And the, and then the studentsended up asking their parents if
they could shave their head orcut their hair short and many of
them did.
And so the teacher reframed itall.
It was just some nervousness andthis fear of this our little
classmate looked so differentthat the children were reacting
(06:24):
and when the teacher reframed itthat this is okay.
There's nothing to fear here.
Look, I have a shaved head.
It reframed it.
Delbert (06:36):
It's beautiful.
It's a great example of beingthe architect of your life and
of your day, right?
She just rewrote it.
Hess (06:45):
One of my, one of my clients is talking about holding
her little nephew that just gotborn and just how the world just
stands still when she's holdingthis little.
This little month old baby andlooking into this baby's eyes
and I said, isn't it justfascinating?
You could get lost in that herethis little child is total
(07:05):
possibility, is what I said.
It's not been affected byanything on the outside.
It's just this wonderful littlebeing so new to the world,
endless possibility.
Delbert (07:21):
It's true.
I the book that you sent me onThe Art of Possibility reminded
me of a book I read a long timeago about the the seven oh
shoot.
The Seven Habits of HighlySuccessful People.
Hess (07:37):
Okay.
Delbert (07:38):
our convoy.
Yeah.
He he says that you do theseseven things, which is really
just what the teacher did.
You're proactive.
You begin with the end in mind.
First things first.
Think win-win.
And I always say that in realestate.
(07:59):
I tell my clients, when we sellyour house, I want you to feel
like you're coming out on top,but I want you to treat the
buyer like they're coming out ontop.
And that's really how, that's,it makes everything, every
transaction beautiful.
If people can stick to that.
And the other thing is, I think,and this is what the teacher was
(08:21):
trying to teach her class, seekto understand, not to be
understood.
I love that.
And that reminds me of theprayer of St.
Francis of a sissy.
It is in giving that we receiveand pardoning that we are
pardoned.
And we heard that so much askids, but gosh, it's hard to
remember sometimes,
Hess (08:41):
what you need.
Give what you
Delbert (08:43):
And so if we seek to understand, if we go into the
day saying, let me understandthis problem, not let me get my
point across right.
Let not, let me, that'll come.
If you understand the situation,you might have a better outcome
of people understanding whereyou're coming from.
Once you really know what'sgoing on.
(09:06):
And that's like your imago,right?
It's like
Hess (09:09):
a
Delbert (09:09):
right
Hess (09:10):
other person's
Delbert (09:10):
Lemme hear what you're, where you're coming from.
Let me listen to what you'resaying and then start the
conversation from there, fromyour angle.
Hess (09:24):
right?
And then it becomes more of areal we instead of, I need to
convince you Or you need toconvince me.
Delbert (09:31):
Exactly.
I hear what you're saying.
Here's probably what we need todo.
Let's circle the wagons,
Hess (09:36):
and then Delbert.
If it's a we, then it's not anus and a them.
Delbert (09:39):
Which is, one of the things that we're trying to
prevent.
In our podcast, right?
We want it to be us.
When we're talking to people, wedon't want to take sides,
Hess (09:54):
yeah.
We don't have to say what We'rein.
Delbert (09:56):
There's too much of that going on right now in This
minute.
Hess (10:01):
Did you finish your list?
Was that seven Dilbert?
I wasn't
Delbert (10:04):
I'm sorry, then synergize and sharpen the tool.
And one of the things also thatwas a takeaway from that, that
my broker always said wassuccessful people make a list of
what they're gonna do the nextday at night.
And that way you go to sleepconfident that you've got
(10:25):
tomorrow covered.
And then you can wake up and youcan say, oh my gosh, I feel so
confident.
It's gonna be a great day.
I am gonna get all this done.
And you just set yourself up fora great day.
Hess (10:37):
Delbert.
Was that all seven?
Delbert (10:39):
Yes.
Hess (10:40):
Okay.
Delbert.
You start your day with kind ofa meditation and with your gold
light that you put around thepeople that you love.
And put a put out there into theworld.
And so that's starting the daywith a real PO positive.
When you do your Goldie Hawnstretch you start your day the
feeling of positivity that thisis gonna be a great day, good
(11:02):
things are gonna happen.
Delbert (11:04):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And when you believe that andyou tell yourself that good
things happen, you have a goodenergy around yourself and.
It's like my energy that I wannaspread to other people, but it's
also my armor.
It makes me feel strong andconfident.
Hess (11:23):
That's a key right there.
Delbert, is if we do that, if wegive that out, it makes us
stronger.
It makes us more resilient and.
Not as scared or fearful.
So we are better, I, ourourselves personally, are better
when we go to the, we.
Delbert (11:40):
Exactly.
And there's no amount, of energythat you give away when you give
away good energy and goodpositive thoughts.
There's no shortage of it.
In fact, when you do it, itactually fuels you even more.
So you're just building up allthis, it's almost like a
(12:01):
locomotion, like a steam engine,right?
Like a locomotive.
Locomotion is a dance anyway.
Yeah.
Hess (12:08):
it do the locomotion.
Delbert (12:10):
And so anyway I think, people sometimes feel oh, if I
give energy to this or give,that per, I'm taking away from
myself, and it's really nottrue.
It really is in giving that youreceive.
Really, if you can just redirectyour thoughts or rewrite your
day, and when you're trying tobe the architect of your life,
(12:33):
start with a day.
Start with writing that day out.
Hess (12:37):
Yeah.
You are responsible forreframing, starting a new
structure.
Delbert (12:43):
exactly?
Hess (12:43):
So there's a big thing now about freedom of speech.
So okay, let's go Freedom ofspeech.
Let's turn it, let's make it allfreedom of speech.
Let's go it.
I wanna give back to the Art ofPossibility.
This fantastic book.
The Steps to the We Practicethen, are these it's less than
your seven.
(13:04):
Okay.
I think it's only three Tellthe, we tell the we story, the
story of the unseen threads thatconnect us all.
The story of possibility.
Tell it, tell how you pictureit, how it's gonna be.
I know Delbert your you'll, yourfamily and text you back or
something in the morning andsay, I feel the circle.
(13:25):
They feel it
Delbert (13:27):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Hess (13:28):
Yeah.
And then, and we gotta be quietand we gotta listen.
Look for that emerging entity ofhow we are more like than not
alike.
And what, and then in the thirdsay, okay, what do we want to
have happen here?
What's best for us?
All of each of us, and all ofus?
(13:51):
What's our next step?
There's no party line there.
What's better for all of the,all of us here in the United
States?
What's better for all of us inthis world?
Delbert (14:02):
And what's that saying?
There's no justice for any of usunless there is justice for all
of us.
Hess (14:10):
I love how you remember those things.
Delbert (14:12):
I love what you're saying about the, when you sent
me just a few pages of thatbook, it got me really excited
about possibilities.
So I do need to read that.
That sounds really good.
Hess (14:23):
Yeah.
I've read some of GregoryBoyle's, gr Father, Gregory
Boyle's
Delbert (14:28):
wow.
Talk with him.
Hess (14:31):
Yes.
Father Gregory Boyle was livingin Los Angeles in the deep part
of the gang state there, and hesaw the possibility of.
the people that are in gangs,they want connection, they want
family.
And he sees he sees all of them.
He doesn't judge they are by whothey were in a gang.
(14:54):
He sees them, he sees theiressence, he sees their heart.
I'm just gonna read off some ofhis quotes.
This is from tattoos on theheart that the power of
boundless compassion.
A compassion that can stand inawe of what the poor have to
carry, rather than stand injudgment of how they carry it.
(15:17):
Yeah.
Look at awe, look at somebody inawe of how they've been able to
handle something versus judgingthem how they do it.
Another one is close both eyes.
And see close both eyes and seewith the other one, then we are
no longer saddled by the burdenof our persistent judgements.
(15:39):
Our ceaseless withholding ourconstant exclusion.
Our sphere has widened and wefind ourselves quite
unexpectedly in a new, expansivelocation, in a place of endless
acceptance and infinite love.
Delbert (15:58):
That's beautiful.
I love him.
Hess (16:01):
Kindness is the only strength there is.
Yeah.
And it boils down to kinship.
And he says, if there is afundamental challenge within
these stories, it's simply tochange our lurking suspicion
that some lives matter less thanother lives.
Delbert (16:20):
Oh wow.
Perfect.
Hess (16:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like one lady, she wanted to govolunteer.
I know.
I have a whole lot I can giveto, to, to those members.
To those people in your group.
I know I have a whole lot togive and he says, when you feel
like you can come and volunteerknow that you have a lot you can
receive, then call me back.
Delbert (16:45):
Perfect.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Yes.
Hess (16:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Delbert (16:53):
St.
Francis in,
Hess (16:56):
So Delbert,
Delbert (16:57):
right?
Is he a Jesuit or a Franciscan?
I couldn't remember.
Hess (17:00):
he's Jesuit.
Delbert.
Delbert.
I just gave the example of thefruit market.
Can you tell, can you give me away that you reframe something
to possibility?
Delbert (17:14):
I guess the biggest one is, my sister and my niece dying
and, taking all that despair Itinto service, turning it into
service with Carol's kitchen.
And I feel a real kinship withFather Gregory.
I follow him and I've read abouthim and I love what he does.
Something I always say I filledthis kinship with him because I
(17:37):
have these kids that have toldme before, and I'm not serving
by any stretch as many people ashe is, but there have been kids
who've told me, that I helped'emstay in school and they, they
graduated from high school
Hess (17:52):
I love that.
Delbert (17:53):
And I think the more education you get.
The better chance you have ofstaying outta trouble and making
your life better.
A lot of these kids come fromfamilies who didn't finish high
school, have no thought abouttheir child going to college.
And some of them breakthroughand they do.
They go to trade school, they goto college or they're working on
(18:14):
there's a health.
Program at Seneca high schoolhere.
And a lot of Wagner High Schoolhas one as well where kids can
go ahead and get started, in ahealth career, in a career, for
hospitals or medical services,offices, whatever.
(18:35):
But it gives
Hess (18:35):
that.
Delbert (18:36):
jumpstart into a career.
I just feel like sometimes maybeI help somebody not go to
prison, but if they get there,like Father Gregory helps get'em
out That system of that churn.
It's just lack of education,nutrition, love, that's all it
(18:57):
is.
And I'm going back to what Jaysaid when he was on our podcast
about the healing place,
Hess (19:06):
yes.
Delbert (19:07):
Addicts don't have a connection.
There's no connection.
And as human beings, that's whatwe're, that's what we're
searching for.
We wanna belong, we wannaconnect.
We want to see our life andpossibilities, but on a much
smaller scale, I have to say.
(19:27):
Reframing something I think is,when you write down what you
wanna do in your day and you puta little extra post-it on that
day, that plan and you putsomething that you wanna do for
your dream, right?
Like you and I write, we'lljournal, we'll work on our
books, right?
Just give it a little time inyour day for something that
(19:51):
you're dreaming about, apossibility of doing not.
And so in that way, you're notjust being an architect of your
day, you're being an architectof your future and your dreams
and your possibilities.
Hess (20:04):
Love that.
I love that.
Ariana Rodriguez is our MissKentucky and she is from
Bardstown, Kentucky, and shelived out of a car
Delbert (20:17):
Oh.
Hess (20:18):
a year or so.
Yes.
And she's reframed her life.
And she is represents kids thatare in foster care and does
things for kids in PO fostercare and does a podcast and has
foster kids on talking abouttheir experiences.
Delbert (20:37):
And what do they wanna belong, they wanna be loved,
Hess (20:40):
be long, they wanna stay connected.
Yeah.
Delbert (20:43):
succeed in this life.
Yeah, absolutely.
I have to tell you something,Hess.
Hess (20:49):
Tell me Dilbert.
Delbert (20:50):
We're always bragging about our class of 1976, and
we've talked about it a lot.
One of the gals that was at mylunch table at Sacred Heart,
Nikki fawbush she married herhigh school sweetheart and they
were just so in love their wholelives, had three kids and
grandkids and she passed lastweek.
And,
Hess (21:10):
oh.
Delbert (21:11):
I went to her funeral with Warsh and Barnett.
We had a lot of Karens in ourclass, so we call'em by their
last names.
And we sat in church together atSt.
Bernadette.
And it's always very spiritualto be with people that you grew
up with, and, the grandson tolda story about how in love Johnny
and Nikki were they dated fromfreshman year all the way to the
(21:35):
end of high school and gotmarried young.
Yeah.
And he said that one Christmas,it was like midnight and there'd
been a million people in thehouse.
They served two meals there.
All these presents they wereunwrapping.
And I might not be telling itexactly right.
But.
It's like midnight and there's asong playing and he looks up
(21:58):
next to the tree and there's hisgrandparents dancing together by
the tree,
Hess (22:03):
Wow.
Delbert (22:05):
So tired from the day, but had that minute, to share
with each other.
And, in that church.
You could feel her love forthose children and her husband
and those grandchildren, and I'mnot kidding you, you could
really feel her spirit in thatchurch.
It's light it, like I'm tellingyou, the positive light that we
(22:28):
try to send out in the world,she was completely lighting up
that church with her spirit.
Hess (22:34):
Wow.
Delbert (22:36):
beautiful.
Hess (22:36):
it.
Love
Delbert (22:38):
And so even after we die, we can be the architects of
our legacy as well.
Hess (22:48):
That goes on.
Delbert (22:50):
It goes on.
You live your life so well andlove so many people and touch so
many people, you're also settingyourself up for, eternity and
your legacy Being that lighteven after you die.
Yeah.
Hess (23:07):
Delbert, I love it.
Podsters love you and this artof possibility.
Reframing and making possiblethings to happen, positive
things to happen.
Think about how you can do that.
Think about how you can do aturnaround.
Cathy's truck started acting up.
She was able to turn around andcome home and she flipped it
(23:29):
around and said, I'm glad ithappened before I got.
Too far away from home,
Delbert (23:33):
exactly,
Hess (23:35):
even if something adverse happens.
I'm glad because of this and howyou can reframe it.
Delbert (23:42):
and I'll tell you one more thing.
Hess (23:44):
Tell me one more thing.
Delbert (23:46):
We've done a lot of quotes today, but sometimes we
forget'em.
So we're catching up.
I'm gonna give you one morequote that I wanna leave people
on.
We went to Sacred Heart.
We were educated by the Ursulinesister St.
Angela, Marise was the founderof the Ursuline Order, and she
said, live in Harmony Unitedtogether in one heart and one
(24:08):
will.
Love each other people.
We love you friends.
Hess (24:14):
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll talk again with you allsoon.
Thanks so much for joining us.
Please and share peace and love.
Hey everybody, this is Hess and I'm sitting in the
white chair and I'm so glad thatyou joined us on, let me tell
you this about that,
Delbert (00:11):
Hey everybody, it's me, Delbert.
I'm on the green couch.
As always, it is a beautiful dayin Louisville, Kentucky.
Hess your rain dance did work.
It did rain today.
Hess (00:25):
And we're gonna get more rain.
We're gonna get more rain.
Delbert (00:27):
It's beautiful.
The grass is greening up alittle bit.
But we still had some sunshineand we're actually talking to
each other a little later todaybecause Hess had a fantastic
trip to Dale Hollow Lake.
Hess (00:43):
Yeah, my friend Cathie Velata and I took the relation
ship, my boat and trailered ondown to Dale Hollow Lake and
spent Friday night and Saturdaynight on the hook.
Different coves and swam bunchesof times during the day.
Delbert, you would've lovedthat.
The reason Dale Hollow Delbert,now Dale Hollow is down in the
(01:06):
central Kentucky on the southernborder.
So like half of it's inKentucky, half of it's in
Tennessee.
my brother-in-law, Frank, he andmy sister used to have used to
share a houseboat down therewith Bebe Arnold for years.
And I had been down there, a fewtimes many years ago, and it's
(01:27):
just a beautiful lake.
So I'm back and it's later on inthe afternoon.
It was a great trip.
I'm all energized and allexcited to talk about our topic
today,
Delbert (01:39):
Yes, go ahead and start off Hess,'cause you're super
energized and you've got a lotto say.
You said.
Hess (01:46):
Oh, I always have a lot to say.
I'm reading the book right now.
The Art of Possibility I don'tknow where it was.
I saw it, but this is like oneof the top five books that you
must read in your life is byRosamund Stones Zander, she is a
psychologist and she's marriedto Benjamin Zander and he is a
(02:08):
maestro for the BostonPhilharmonic.
their book, the Art ofPossibility is a fantastic book
about being able to turn thingsaround, reframe'em.
And look for the positive.
The I, the issue I have folks isin its 59th printing.
59th.
Wow.
(02:29):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was first published in byPenguin Books in 2000.
Oh.
It was first published byHarvard Business School.
Press 2000 Publishing PenguinBooks.
2002, a great book, the Art ofPossibility and Delbert, just,
we touch on this a lot and it's.
(02:50):
I've told you all out there thatwhen I graduated high school,
dad looked at my resume and hesays, what are you gonna do?
It looks like you're just a freespirit.
Because I put in there that I'dridden a bicycle across the
country because I wanted to showthat's why I didn't work.
And that might show that I'vegot some determination and when,
when my dad asked me, what areyou gonna do?
(03:11):
What are you gonna do?
And I said I think Lexingtonneeds a fruit market.
And my dad says look into it.
What a way to, what a way to,reframe and give a possible,
give a possibility to something.
Look into it.
It wasn't a, it wasn't a fistdown on the table.
No.
Or are you crazy?
(03:32):
It was like look into it.
Delbert (03:34):
Exactly right.
Yeah.
And you came up with a businessplan for that.
Hess (03:41):
I don't even know if I came up with a business plan,
Delbert, but another thing I wasthinking about when I was
driving is the I was young.
I was just outta college.
I was 22 years old, and was,what do you, what's the word?
When you're just young and youdon't know better.
Delbert (03:56):
Yeah,
Hess (03:56):
like,
Delbert (03:57):
a little naive, but you're also very positive and
you haven't been, maybe pusheddown by the world.
You're full of hope.
You've got dreams and you've gotall that stamina.
And sometimes or maybe most ofthe time that's better than a
business plan.
Hess (04:12):
Naive doesn't mean that you're stupid.
Naive means I didn't know thatmy, my truck might break down on
the Kentucky River Bridge, so Inever worried about it And then
I handled it.
Delbert (04:22):
Because you know what, honestly, there's not really
anything that you can't handlethat comes about if you use your
imagination and that was a quotefrom Mel Robbins.
I just listened to her.
Eight things that you shouldtell yourself in the morning
and, your record for surviving.
The storms of life is a hundredpercent right now, right?
(04:46):
We've Everything
Hess (04:47):
sure.
Yeah.
I think in my office it used tobe here on my thermometer in my
bedroom, but I moved it to myoffice of trying to fight the
storm dance in the rain.
Delbert (04:59):
And shift the sales.
Like adjust, adjust the storythat you sent me about the
teacher who had the little girlin her classroom who had cancer
and the kids made fun of herbecause she had no hair.
She rewrote the rules of herclassroom, right?
She shifted the sails and sheshaved her head right.
Hess (05:20):
So the story is, and this is in the Art of Possibility,
where the teacher reframed it.
This little girl, the kids inher class, I think she was in
second grade, she had leukemiaand she had just undergone
treatment and she lost her hair.
So she's had this scarf, thekids pull her little scarf off
and she's so embarrassed.
She goes home, the kids are alllaughing.
She says, mom, I never wanna goto school again.
(05:42):
I never wanna go to school.
And her mom said, look.
You gotta go to school, it'llonly be a short time your hair
grow back.
So there, and the next morningin school, the teacher comes in
and just, she greets thechildren in the same way that
she usually does.
And she says, welcome children.
She takes off her coat and hangsit up and she takes off her
scarf and she shaved her headand.
(06:04):
The students just looked like,whoa.
And the, and then the studentsended up asking their parents if
they could shave their head orcut their hair short and many of
them did.
And so the teacher reframed itall.
It was just some nervousness andthis fear of this our little
classmate looked so differentthat the children were reacting
(06:24):
and when the teacher reframed itthat this is okay.
There's nothing to fear here.
Look, I have a shaved head.
It reframed it.
Delbert (06:36):
It's beautiful.
It's a great example of beingthe architect of your life and
of your day, right?
She just rewrote it.
Hess (06:45):
One of my, one of my clients is talking about holding
her little nephew that just gotborn and just how the world just
stands still when she's holdingthis little.
This little month old baby andlooking into this baby's eyes
and I said, isn't it justfascinating?
You could get lost in that herethis little child is total
(07:05):
possibility, is what I said.
It's not been affected byanything on the outside.
It's just this wonderful littlebeing so new to the world,
endless possibility.
Delbert (07:21):
It's true.
I the book that you sent me onThe Art of Possibility reminded
me of a book I read a long timeago about the the seven oh
shoot.
The Seven Habits of HighlySuccessful People.
Hess (07:37):
Okay.
Delbert (07:38):
our convoy.
Yeah.
He he says that you do theseseven things, which is really
just what the teacher did.
You're proactive.
You begin with the end in mind.
First things first.
Think win-win.
And I always say that in realestate.
(07:59):
I tell my clients, when we sellyour house, I want you to feel
like you're coming out on top,but I want you to treat the
buyer like they're coming out ontop.
And that's really how, that's,it makes everything, every
transaction beautiful.
If people can stick to that.
And the other thing is, I think,and this is what the teacher was
(08:21):
trying to teach her class, seekto understand, not to be
understood.
I love that.
And that reminds me of theprayer of St.
Francis of a sissy.
It is in giving that we receiveand pardoning that we are
pardoned.
And we heard that so much askids, but gosh, it's hard to
remember sometimes,
Hess (08:41):
what you need.
Give what you
Delbert (08:43):
And so if we seek to understand, if we go into the
day saying, let me understandthis problem, not let me get my
point across right.
Let not, let me, that'll come.
If you understand the situation,you might have a better outcome
of people understanding whereyou're coming from.
Once you really know what'sgoing on.
(09:06):
And that's like your imago,right?
It's like
Hess (09:09):
a
Delbert (09:09):
right
Hess (09:10):
other person's
Delbert (09:10):
Lemme hear what you're, where you're coming from.
Let me listen to what you'resaying and then start the
conversation from there, fromyour angle.
Hess (09:24):
right?
And then it becomes more of areal we instead of, I need to
convince you Or you need toconvince me.
Delbert (09:31):
Exactly.
I hear what you're saying.
Here's probably what we need todo.
Let's circle the wagons,
Hess (09:36):
and then Delbert.
If it's a we, then it's not anus and a them.
Delbert (09:39):
Which is, one of the things that we're trying to
prevent.
In our podcast, right?
We want it to be us.
When we're talking to people, wedon't want to take sides,
Hess (09:54):
yeah.
We don't have to say what We'rein.
Delbert (09:56):
There's too much of that going on right now in This
minute.
Hess (10:01):
Did you finish your list?
Was that seven Dilbert?
I wasn't
Delbert (10:04):
I'm sorry, then synergize and sharpen the tool.
And one of the things also thatwas a takeaway from that, that
my broker always said wassuccessful people make a list of
what they're gonna do the nextday at night.
And that way you go to sleepconfident that you've got
(10:25):
tomorrow covered.
And then you can wake up and youcan say, oh my gosh, I feel so
confident.
It's gonna be a great day.
I am gonna get all this done.
And you just set yourself up fora great day.
Hess (10:37):
Delbert.
Was that all seven?
Delbert (10:39):
Yes.
Hess (10:40):
Okay.
Delbert.
You start your day with kind ofa meditation and with your gold
light that you put around thepeople that you love.
And put a put out there into theworld.
And so that's starting the daywith a real PO positive.
When you do your Goldie Hawnstretch you start your day the
feeling of positivity that thisis gonna be a great day, good
(11:02):
things are gonna happen.
Delbert (11:04):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And when you believe that andyou tell yourself that good
things happen, you have a goodenergy around yourself and.
It's like my energy that I wannaspread to other people, but it's
also my armor.
It makes me feel strong andconfident.
Hess (11:23):
That's a key right there.
Delbert, is if we do that, if wegive that out, it makes us
stronger.
It makes us more resilient and.
Not as scared or fearful.
So we are better, I, ourourselves personally, are better
when we go to the, we.
Delbert (11:40):
Exactly.
And there's no amount, of energythat you give away when you give
away good energy and goodpositive thoughts.
There's no shortage of it.
In fact, when you do it, itactually fuels you even more.
So you're just building up allthis, it's almost like a
(12:01):
locomotion, like a steam engine,right?
Like a locomotive.
Locomotion is a dance anyway.
Yeah.
Hess (12:08):
it do the locomotion.
Delbert (12:10):
And so anyway I think, people sometimes feel oh, if I
give energy to this or give,that per, I'm taking away from
myself, and it's really nottrue.
It really is in giving that youreceive.
Really, if you can just redirectyour thoughts or rewrite your
day, and when you're trying tobe the architect of your life,
(12:33):
start with a day.
Start with writing that day out.
Hess (12:37):
Yeah.
You are responsible forreframing, starting a new
structure.
Delbert (12:43):
exactly?
Hess (12:43):
So there's a big thing now about freedom of speech.
So okay, let's go Freedom ofspeech.
Let's turn it, let's make it allfreedom of speech.
Let's go it.
I wanna give back to the Art ofPossibility.
This fantastic book.
The Steps to the We Practicethen, are these it's less than
your seven.
(13:04):
Okay.
I think it's only three Tellthe, we tell the we story, the
story of the unseen threads thatconnect us all.
The story of possibility.
Tell it, tell how you pictureit, how it's gonna be.
I know Delbert your you'll, yourfamily and text you back or
something in the morning andsay, I feel the circle.
(13:25):
They feel it
Delbert (13:27):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Hess (13:28):
Yeah.
And then, and we gotta be quietand we gotta listen.
Look for that emerging entity ofhow we are more like than not
alike.
And what, and then in the thirdsay, okay, what do we want to
have happen here?
What's best for us?
All of each of us, and all ofus?
(13:51):
What's our next step?
There's no party line there.
What's better for all of the,all of us here in the United
States?
What's better for all of us inthis world?
Delbert (14:02):
And what's that saying?
There's no justice for any of usunless there is justice for all
of us.
Hess (14:10):
I love how you remember those things.
Delbert (14:12):
I love what you're saying about the, when you sent
me just a few pages of thatbook, it got me really excited
about possibilities.
So I do need to read that.
That sounds really good.
Hess (14:23):
Yeah.
I've read some of GregoryBoyle's, gr Father, Gregory
Boyle's
Delbert (14:28):
wow.
Talk with him.
Hess (14:31):
Yes.
Father Gregory Boyle was livingin Los Angeles in the deep part
of the gang state there, and hesaw the possibility of.
the people that are in gangs,they want connection, they want
family.
And he sees he sees all of them.
He doesn't judge they are by whothey were in a gang.
(14:54):
He sees them, he sees theiressence, he sees their heart.
I'm just gonna read off some ofhis quotes.
This is from tattoos on theheart that the power of
boundless compassion.
A compassion that can stand inawe of what the poor have to
carry, rather than stand injudgment of how they carry it.
(15:17):
Yeah.
Look at awe, look at somebody inawe of how they've been able to
handle something versus judgingthem how they do it.
Another one is close both eyes.
And see close both eyes and seewith the other one, then we are
no longer saddled by the burdenof our persistent judgements.
(15:39):
Our ceaseless withholding ourconstant exclusion.
Our sphere has widened and wefind ourselves quite
unexpectedly in a new, expansivelocation, in a place of endless
acceptance and infinite love.
Delbert (15:58):
That's beautiful.
I love him.
Hess (16:01):
Kindness is the only strength there is.
Yeah.
And it boils down to kinship.
And he says, if there is afundamental challenge within
these stories, it's simply tochange our lurking suspicion
that some lives matter less thanother lives.
Delbert (16:20):
Oh wow.
Perfect.
Hess (16:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like one lady, she wanted to govolunteer.
I know.
I have a whole lot I can giveto, to, to those members.
To those people in your group.
I know I have a whole lot togive and he says, when you feel
like you can come and volunteerknow that you have a lot you can
receive, then call me back.
Delbert (16:45):
Perfect.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
Yes.
Hess (16:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Delbert (16:53):
St.
Francis in,
Hess (16:56):
So Delbert,
Delbert (16:57):
right?
Is he a Jesuit or a Franciscan?
I couldn't remember.
Hess (17:00):
he's Jesuit.
Delbert.
Delbert.
I just gave the example of thefruit market.
Can you tell, can you give me away that you reframe something
to possibility?
Delbert (17:14):
I guess the biggest one is, my sister and my niece dying
and, taking all that despair Itinto service, turning it into
service with Carol's kitchen.
And I feel a real kinship withFather Gregory.
I follow him and I've read abouthim and I love what he does.
Something I always say I filledthis kinship with him because I
(17:37):
have these kids that have toldme before, and I'm not serving
by any stretch as many people ashe is, but there have been kids
who've told me, that I helped'emstay in school and they, they
graduated from high school
Hess (17:52):
I love that.
Delbert (17:53):
And I think the more education you get.
The better chance you have ofstaying outta trouble and making
your life better.
A lot of these kids come fromfamilies who didn't finish high
school, have no thought abouttheir child going to college.
And some of them breakthroughand they do.
They go to trade school, they goto college or they're working on
(18:14):
there's a health.
Program at Seneca high schoolhere.
And a lot of Wagner High Schoolhas one as well where kids can
go ahead and get started, in ahealth career, in a career, for
hospitals or medical services,offices, whatever.
(18:35):
But it gives
Hess (18:35):
that.
Delbert (18:36):
jumpstart into a career.
I just feel like sometimes maybeI help somebody not go to
prison, but if they get there,like Father Gregory helps get'em
out That system of that churn.
It's just lack of education,nutrition, love, that's all it
(18:57):
is.
And I'm going back to what Jaysaid when he was on our podcast
about the healing place,
Hess (19:06):
yes.
Delbert (19:07):
Addicts don't have a connection.
There's no connection.
And as human beings, that's whatwe're, that's what we're
searching for.
We wanna belong, we wannaconnect.
We want to see our life andpossibilities, but on a much
smaller scale, I have to say.
(19:27):
Reframing something I think is,when you write down what you
wanna do in your day and you puta little extra post-it on that
day, that plan and you putsomething that you wanna do for
your dream, right?
Like you and I write, we'lljournal, we'll work on our
books, right?
Just give it a little time inyour day for something that
(19:51):
you're dreaming about, apossibility of doing not.
And so in that way, you're notjust being an architect of your
day, you're being an architectof your future and your dreams
and your possibilities.
Hess (20:04):
Love that.
I love that.
Ariana Rodriguez is our MissKentucky and she is from
Bardstown, Kentucky, and shelived out of a car
Delbert (20:17):
Oh.
Hess (20:18):
a year or so.
Yes.
And she's reframed her life.
And she is represents kids thatare in foster care and does
things for kids in PO fostercare and does a podcast and has
foster kids on talking abouttheir experiences.
Delbert (20:37):
And what do they wanna belong, they wanna be loved,
Hess (20:40):
be long, they wanna stay connected.
Yeah.
Delbert (20:43):
succeed in this life.
Yeah, absolutely.
I have to tell you something,Hess.
Hess (20:49):
Tell me Dilbert.
Delbert (20:50):
We're always bragging about our class of 1976, and
we've talked about it a lot.
One of the gals that was at mylunch table at Sacred Heart,
Nikki fawbush she married herhigh school sweetheart and they
were just so in love their wholelives, had three kids and
grandkids and she passed lastweek.
And,
Hess (21:10):
oh.
Delbert (21:11):
I went to her funeral with Warsh and Barnett.
We had a lot of Karens in ourclass, so we call'em by their
last names.
And we sat in church together atSt.
Bernadette.
And it's always very spiritualto be with people that you grew
up with, and, the grandson tolda story about how in love Johnny
and Nikki were they dated fromfreshman year all the way to the
(21:35):
end of high school and gotmarried young.
Yeah.
And he said that one Christmas,it was like midnight and there'd
been a million people in thehouse.
They served two meals there.
All these presents they wereunwrapping.
And I might not be telling itexactly right.
But.
It's like midnight and there's asong playing and he looks up
(21:58):
next to the tree and there's hisgrandparents dancing together by
the tree,
Hess (22:03):
Wow.
Delbert (22:05):
So tired from the day, but had that minute, to share
with each other.
And, in that church.
You could feel her love forthose children and her husband
and those grandchildren, and I'mnot kidding you, you could
really feel her spirit in thatchurch.
It's light it, like I'm tellingyou, the positive light that we
(22:28):
try to send out in the world,she was completely lighting up
that church with her spirit.
Hess (22:34):
Wow.
Delbert (22:36):
beautiful.
Hess (22:36):
it.
Love
Delbert (22:38):
And so even after we die, we can be the architects of
our legacy as well.
Hess (22:48):
That goes on.
Delbert (22:50):
It goes on.
You live your life so well andlove so many people and touch so
many people, you're also settingyourself up for, eternity and
your legacy Being that lighteven after you die.
Yeah.
Hess (23:07):
Delbert, I love it.
Podsters love you and this artof possibility.
Reframing and making possiblethings to happen, positive
things to happen.
Think about how you can do that.
Think about how you can do aturnaround.
Cathy's truck started acting up.
She was able to turn around andcome home and she flipped it
(23:29):
around and said, I'm glad ithappened before I got.
Too far away from home,
Delbert (23:33):
exactly,
Hess (23:35):
even if something adverse happens.
I'm glad because of this and howyou can reframe it.
Delbert (23:42):
and I'll tell you one more thing.
Hess (23:44):
Tell me one more thing.
Delbert (23:46):
We've done a lot of quotes today, but sometimes we
forget'em.
So we're catching up.
I'm gonna give you one morequote that I wanna leave people
on.
We went to Sacred Heart.
We were educated by the Ursulinesister St.
Angela, Marise was the founderof the Ursuline Order, and she
said, live in Harmony Unitedtogether in one heart and one
(24:08):
will.
Love each other people.
We love you friends.
Hess (24:14):
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
We'll talk again with you allsoon.
Thanks so much for joining us.
Please and share peace and love.
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