May 18, 2025 • 34 mins
Delbert and Hess continue their Sunday Chats, talking about their lives. In this episode they talk about experiencing what life brings to you, be it circumstance or bad weather. They both were sophomores in high school when a tornado hit their hometown of Louisville. Delbert was shopping at Oxmoor, and Hess and her mother had pulled over and found shelter in an office. The keys that they have found is to always be prepared, and then to always be flexible to pivot when something happens. Hess loves some Brené Brown--and she reminds us in her books that we must allow ourselves to feel grateful and to be able to move towards joy.
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:00):
Hey, welcome you all to let me tell you this about that.
My name's Hess and I'm inLexington, Kentucky on my little
white chair looking out mybedroom window at the green
grass.
Delbert (00:15):
Good morning.
This is Delbert.
I'm in Louisville, Kentucky, onthe green couch, as always
looking out my big picturewindow, and it's a beautiful day
in Kentucky Today.
The grass is so green, the treesare all bloomed, lots of flowers
blooming.
I think the storm got the restof my peonies tests.
Hess (00:36):
Yeah, I
Delbert (00:37):
enjoyed them while they were there, but yeah.
Hess (00:41):
Delbert, I was thinking last night about talking this
morning with our pods aboutpreparing and pivoting and this
is what I, this is when I thinkabout preparing, I think about
sometimes I think about my boat.
Yeah.
I watched this one guy, he'scalled the coaches captain, and
(01:03):
I love watching his YouTubevideos because he.
He teaches and coaches peoplehow to dock their boat.
You would love it.
I gotta send you some of thesebecause you always do that boat
rental down at the lake and takeyour family out and he teaches
people how to come up to a dockor how to leave a dock and he is
just really super guy and he isnever critical.
He is just really calm.
(01:24):
Anyway, he does boat deliveries,Delbert and last night.
I was watching the video of himdelivering this 48 foot Bennetau
from from the west coast ofFlorida up to west Palm to the
boat show.
And so he gets on this fancy newboat and he is gonna be solo
delivering.
He is gonna have about a 12 hourjourney in one day.
(01:46):
And he, it's just this brand newspanking boat, and he does all,
he got his little bag and stufflike that.
And halfway through the video,Delbert, he goes one thing I
gotta tell y'all, when you geton a new boat everything might
be there, but there's not gonnabe any toilet paper.
So even that, that got in mind,the, about being able to
(02:10):
prepare.
So I think about boats to getready.
We collect information, right?
We decide what we need, and thenwe do it.
Now, coach is captain.
He is gonna have that toiletpaper with him next time he has
to move a boat.
But
Delbert (02:24):
Yeah.
Hess (02:25):
yeah, and he also commented that he didn't have a
spotlight.
So always have a big spotlight.
Have a spotlight with you thatthere's portable ones that you
can put in your bag becausethat's.
For the Coast Guard, you have tohave a spotlight in it for sure.
You need it.
If you were to get out there andit gets dark and be able to see
the markers in the channel.
So when I think about taking myboat out, I've got fenders,
(02:48):
right?
I've got the lines, I've got theanchor, and I didn't have a
spare anchor up in my frontlocker.
I've done the maintenance on theengines and the oil, all that
stuff's in order, and thebatteries are charged up and I
tow my boat where I wanna takeit.
So I've also checked the tiresand the trailer and I'm ready to
launch.
Delbert.
So what causes I'm a goodcaptain.
(03:10):
Thanks.
Delbert (03:11):
are.
Hess (03:13):
What causes a pivot?
On a boat weather.
If the seas are rough it's not agood day to go.
I can wait, I can adjust.
And when we travel by boat, youcan have a destination, but you
should not have a schedulebecause you gotta be able to be
flexible for the weather.
(03:33):
It's the same thing with lifeDelbert.
We have knowledge that gets,that we collect, we can do
research, we could talk topeople, we could get more
information from any kind ofresources.
Then we make our decision.
But that decision is just thatbeginning of a path.
It's like a tree after thatdecision, then it might branch
(03:54):
off into another direction asthings go, or like an actual
path, it comes to anintersection and we go right, or
we go left.
We pivot.
We have to be ready to pivot inany moment.
It doesn't mean we, we need toworry about the future, but
living in the moment.
We can get all in with theinformation that we have right
(04:16):
now.
So a pivot really is a change ofstrategy without a change of
vision.
Delbert (04:23):
I love that quote, Hess.
That's so true.
We've gotta remember that.
'cause sometimes we get sodisheartened about having to
make a big pivot, Got a visionand a goal but the vision
remains the same.
Hess (04:37):
Say that again.
I interrupted you.
Delbert (04:39):
That's okay.
I just said, sometimes we getdisheartened, when we have to
make a hard pivot when we've gota goal in mind.
But I think that's such a goodquote.
It is a change in strategy, butnot in vision.
I Can tell yourself that's sucha good lesson, such a good
quote.
I love that.
Hess (04:56):
You just talked about what happened to your peonies that
they got beaten down with somebad weather, and I want to tell
the pods that April 4th, 1974 inour life, Delbert, we had a, we
have a story to tell about thatday.
We experienced it.
You were already 16, yourbirthday's in January mine's
April 29th, so I was still 15,but we experienced this event
(05:21):
that passed through Louisville.
What do you remember about thatday?
Delbert (05:25):
We weren't really all that prepared.
'cause it had, that had neverhappened in Kentucky or it
hadn't for a very long time.
I had just got my driver'slicense.
My birthday was in January and Ihad this little yellow
Volkswagen beetle that my dadgot me.
And I was taking my sister todance class and really we should
have gotten off the expresswayand gotten down in a ditch, but
(05:47):
we drove to Oxmoor.
This mall where the dance studiowas, and all the lights were
out.
That's back when there wereSpencer's gifts and there were
wicks and sticks and everybody'swalking around with a mushroom
candle in the mall that theybuy.
And I was, I love strawberries,so I had all the strawberry
(06:09):
scented stuff and I was like,I'd really like a strawberry
candle.
My mom's for God's sakes, justget a mushroom like everybody
else, it's dark, but I, we gotmy sister, we, we got back in
the Volkswagen and we're, ittook us so long to get home
because all the devastation wasreally around where we lived.
Northfield.
Was devastated.
(06:29):
A lot of houses torn down in, inSpring Valley where I lived.
And my dad did get everybody tothe basement they said as they
were running down the steps,they could see two by fours
flying through the air.
Hess (06:41):
Wow.
Delbert (06:42):
you, he got'em down just in time.
what was your experience thatday?
Hess (06:49):
Delbert.
I'd been at basketball practice,and my mom had picked me up and
was driving me home.
And we were at, we were onShelbyville Road getting ready
to turn left there by TrinityHigh School, and we were
listening to WHAS and thetraffic copter guy was up in the
air talking about the tornado.
And it's hitting the fairgroundsbarns right now.
(07:12):
And I think we were able to goahead and speak.
No, I think we turned left thereand we went into one of those
stores over there on the right.
I think that's what we did.
Delbert up you.
So were you in Oxmoor when itwas hitting?
Delbert (07:26):
Yeah.
I was in the
Hess (07:27):
Okay.
Delbert (07:27):
and I
Hess (07:28):
were in the middle.
Delbert (07:29):
but
Hess (07:31):
You didn't know what was going on,
Delbert (07:32):
I really did not know what the buzz was, what was
happening.
I,
Hess (07:36):
right.
Delbert (07:37):
It was just out there in far as like weather that we
had experienced.
It was just so out there.
We really didn't know what washappening but we were in a place
where we were able to get a lotof information from other people
and people were under the stairsof Oxmoor.
And Thank goodness it didn'treally hit the mall because I
(07:58):
don't think we were.
re aside from those mushroomcandles, I don't think we were
super prepared.
Wix and Sticks sold out ofcandles that day.
Hess (08:08):
Wow.
Delbert (08:09):
Yeah.
But because everybody had one.
But that's all I remember.
And then getting home andnothing happened to our house,
but there, there was devastationall around us and nothing
happened,
Hess (08:20):
the neighborhood next to you got hit and the neighborhood
after you got hit.
Delbert (08:24):
No, even houses in our neighborhood got hit.
Hess (08:27):
Really.
Delbert (08:28):
Oh yeah.
That's the randomness of theuniverse.
That's what I was talking to youabout.
Life throws a lot our way andsome ways we have no control
over.
Where we're born or what thecircumstances are that we're
born into.
You just sent me that book byPeter Buffet.
Life is what You Make it.
We don't he, starts out bysaying that in the book, Don't,
(08:52):
the universe does not yield.
The universe is random, and itreally is all about what you
make out of what your life is.
It's a series, and in some waysfrom the time we're born, we're
prepping and pivoting as littlechildren.
(09:14):
And the way
Hess (09:15):
Right.
Delbert (09:15):
the good in life, I think, is wherever you come
from, whatever you do.
And we talk about writing ourstories.
The point of my story collectionof stories is just to the good
that you're given.
In the middle of all the chaosin your life, come back to
center and honor the good and dowhat you know.
Hess (09:44):
Yeah Delbert, it hit a lot of areas in Louisville.
It wiped out all these trees inCherokee Park and.
All of this stuff and thefairgrounds the neighborhoods
close to you.
And since we experienced that,I've always had a weather radio.
I've, when I went to live on myown that that I go pee.
(10:08):
Beep.
If there's a weather alert, nowwe can get those notifications
on our phone.
Last month.
There was enough go ahead toknow, and for me to say, Hey,
Cathy, we're going downstairs inthe crawl space, and we took two
chairs down there and all thedogs we're coming down here.
Because of that experience of,in April, 1974 that we
(10:30):
experienced it, it made me moreattuned to prepare and to take
action.
To take cover if there's analert.
And it's so good the way thatwe'll know ahead of time that
there could be a weatherincident that can happen because
I wanna get all the horses outof the barn.
I'd rather have them out in thefield versus being in a building
(10:54):
that could be.
That could be wiped out.
And then they have everythingfall on'em, that they're safer
if they could be out in thefield and disperse and to go up
to the top of the hill or thebottom of the hill if they would
know because they really cansense weather.
So preparing is doing everythingthat we can so that we can.
(11:17):
Then do what?
Do what we need to do.
And then there's a pivot.
So Cathy and I pivoted a monthago, Delbert, where, okay, it's
passed.
It's clear.
It's 12:30 AM we can go upstairsnow it's gone.
But the people down near Londonand Laurel County and down there
(11:39):
in Kentucky, they were hit by, abad tornado.
Somerset was hit by one.
They had some businesses there,and then it went on straight
west, excuse me, straight eastand cut through neighborhoods
and wiped out part of peoplethat live in London, Kentucky.
Delbert (12:01):
Yeah, it hit them.
Then that's just recent.
That's just happened thisweekend.
Our governor declared anotherstate of emergency and just.
Just another example of just therandomness of the universe.
You know
Hess (12:15):
Yeah, so Friday night.
Delbert (12:16):
town?
Yeah.
Why that little town?
Cute little town.
Yeah.
Hess (12:20):
Friday night.
That happened this past Fridaynight to them where.
A month ago it passed for us.
And so Cathy and I came out fromthe crawlspace, but these people
down that were hit Friday night,they came out, whoa, the rest of
my house is gone.
Or the whole garage hascollapsed on our vehicles.
(12:42):
And they weren't a point.
And even though it somethingtragic happened.
And it is hard and you losematerial things.
Then you pivot to a, thank GodI'm alive.
Delbert (12:57):
Exactly.
I was.
Talking to my youngest daughterand she said, mom, the best
thing that you ever said to me Ithink, was that the universe
does not yield.
It doesn't matter if, you couldhave one of the people that
could have their house, couldhave been destroyed, could have
cancer, could be with some othertype of.
(13:22):
changing event, and then yourhouse is gone.
The universe doesn't yield it,and it really is how we come
back to center and assess andpivot.
And sometimes it's a smallpivot, like on a basketball
court, and sometimes it's a hugepivot.
(13:44):
It's a huge pivot in life.
Completely.
You think about those people,they have to completely rebuild
their lives and no, tell'em whatelse is going on.
So all those people in Somerset,in London, were thinking about
y'all.
Hess (14:03):
Very much rebuild in the same place or do a total move.
And I like this dolbert that thepivoting really, it's the
beginning of the next leg of ajourney, right?
Delbert (14:19):
You'd think.
When you think about life, youthink that we do most of our
prepping and pivoting andadjusting and learning when
we're young, but it's not true.
You and I can testify to that.
We're still learning, we'restill growing.
We're still like dag on.
Why didn't I know that, until Iwas today years old.
And you're six, we're 67 andwe're still learning.
(14:42):
We're still, we're going to agreat retreat soon to, to learn
more at Hessa, set up for us andwith our Barkley Village group.
And yeah, just, it's just aseries of learning and using
your knowledge that you have andgathering even more makes your
life beautiful.
Hess (15:02):
Delbert, I came across, I was cleaning off the top of my
desk.
I love Post-It note, post-its,so I have small post-its, I make
post-its, I like the biggerpost-its.
And I'll, and I had all of thisstuff written on these Post-Its,
and I'll just tear it off andI'll glue it to the backside of
it.
And I was going through all ofthose and I had written down
(15:23):
that.
Death is not learning anythingto me.
That's what death is
Delbert (15:34):
Wow.
Hess (15:35):
when I stop learning.
Yeah.
Delbert (15:39):
You and I both talked a lot about, a lot of our friends
have already retired and you andI are still working.
And me that would be not I.
Working and being out in theworld to not learning new.
I love to, every day I learnsomething new about real estate
that I didn't know the daybefore.
And sometimes people ask mequestions and I say let me find
(16:01):
out about that, I Like I know alot and I do, but I don't know
everything.
So it is true when you just keepthat motion going, you're
creating that electricity right?
And it's sparking your brain andit's keeping you moving forward.
Even if life throws you somethings that, that push you back
just a little bit, long as youcan get
Hess (16:23):
Right.
Delbert (16:23):
up, move to center.
Pivot and go
Hess (16:30):
I just walked into the other room, Delbert, and it
squabbled right there.
Repeat what you just said thatlast line.
Delbert (16:37):
oh, I just said, as long as whatever life throws at
you, as long as you can, comeback to center.
I.
Regroup and then pivot and go,your whole life.
That's what it's about.
There's, there really is nookay, now I'm gonna stop.
We're never gonna Living, nevergonna stop
Hess (16:56):
ever.
Delbert (16:56):
never gonna stop learning and trying to be better
just take on whatever theuniverse throws our way.
Hess (17:06):
And that's our own journey in Delbert.
I notice sometimes in my ownjourney I'll get frustrated
because of where somebody elsemight be on their journey that,
that they're in a spot wherelife is hard or they're not
making good decisions.
And I'll get real aggravated.
They just haven't come to theplace where they've learned what
(17:28):
they need to know.
And I like this.
I went into the other room topick up this purple post-it
note, it says I re I release andlet go of anyone learning good
lessons on their journey.
They don't have to have itfigured out for me to feel
better.
Delbert (17:48):
Exactly.
And I think that you have such aheart for that.
Because you're, a therapist andand physical health means so
much to you.
It's hard to accept sometimesbut we gotta let it go.
We can't live anybody's life forthem.
Hess (18:07):
As you said, we're 67 and still learning stuff, and
somebody 74 might say, gosh, howdid you make that mistake?
Why didn't you know thatalready?
But maybe somebody 20 yearsold's already learned something
that we haven't learned yet, andit's just we're where we are to
learn it.
Delbert (18:25):
right.
That's the beauty of life you'rein.
Exactly.
The place that you should be.
Hess (18:33):
So life has the world and this weather system, which is so
awesome, Delbert, that we havealerts that can alert us more in
advance.
And I was telling somebody thismorning, like with a hurricane.
You can know a few days inadvance like to leave and to go
ahead and get on the route ofthat evacu, that evacuation
(18:56):
route With a tornado, you don't,you, you might only get hours or
you might get a day, or youmight, there's a weather system
coming in.
You might know a day in advance,then you might know a few hours.
Then you might know onlyminutes.
And especially this happenedthis event down in London
(19:17):
happened at night.
It's so bad when it happens atnight because you might not know
at all that it's going on, andit might already be in bed.
You might have to get up earlythe next morning, and you got in
bed at eight 30 and you have noidea.
Delbert (19:34):
It's true.
I've slept through a lot ofstorms.
I'm a heavy sleeper.
I'm not proud of it, but it'shappened.
Okay.
It's.
Hess (19:44):
Yeah, you were telling me last month when that weather
event happened, that you didn'thear your phone go off.
Delbert (19:50):
No, I had it set.
I'm like, okay, I'm reallyexhausted.
I'm gonna lay down here, but I'mgonna have all the alarms set.
And my neighbor said, you didn'thear that the alarm was going
off at Bowman Field, which issuper close to our house.
And I had one on my phone, butI'd had a rough day.
I was learning a lot of lessons.
I was weathering a lot ofstorms, and I just.
(20:11):
fell into a deep sleep eye.
I am a deep sleeper and I dreama lot in color.
And that recharges me for mynext day.
And so anyway, I woke up andsaid thank goodness nothing
happened.
There were a lot of sticks andlimbs in my yard, but my and my
(20:31):
peonies took a beating,
Hess (20:33):
yeah my, my blooms are like facing down now.
I might have to go fill someVAEs up out there, so I can
bring that smell into the house.
Delbert, I have a big, I have avase with a bunch of'em on my
kitchen table, and I justdiscovered the other day that it
smells like Coppertone suntanlotion.
Delbert (20:51):
it's making me excited for summer.
That's one of the things mydaughter put in my Easter basket
was, lotion, sunscreen do youremember Band Is Soleil, the
smell of that smells so good.
There's a new product thatsmells like that.
And so she got
Hess (21:06):
Oh.
Delbert (21:06):
tube of that to take to Bethany.
So I'm ready.
I got a big hat.
I haven't bought my book yet,I'm more about the the
accessories, but I am gonna getmy book where Read, tell'em what
we're reading has.
Hess (21:21):
We are reading the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown,
and it's really fantastic.
We're gonna have so much fun.
We, I have the 10th anniversaryedition.
I think it was, I think it's now15 years.
Really.
I believe that it was copyright2010.
And it's about kinda like whathelps us live a wholehearted
(21:44):
life and what are someguideposts that we can do to
make sure that we live thatwholehearted life and.
Along this topic that we'retalking about right now, Bert,
some, something that's coming tome that, that's in this book is
that when we do hit that hardspot and we have to pivot that
(22:04):
something that can help us isgratitude.
Delbert (22:08):
Yes.
Hess (22:10):
Like I say the people that, that were in this tornado
path, they've moved to, we areglad we're alive to that kind of
gratitude.
Delbert (22:19):
And that's the same as that.
Going back to Center in theChaos and going back to honoring
the good that we've been given.
I.
You can dance anywhere.
You can have a joyful heart andsing a song anywhere.
And just, and remember the goodthat's in your life, the good
people that have crossed yourpath.
Hess (22:42):
One of the pivots that some of these victims of the
tornado are probablyexperiencing is what they're
experiencing now are thehelpers.
Delbert (22:51):
Yes, and the sun's out.
The sun is gonna Dry things upand the sun is shining in our
Kentucky home And that's good.
Good weather, good neighbors.
we have a wonderful governor.
That's putting things togetherto help all those people.
So those are the good thingsthat we can be thankful for in,
(23:13):
in the tragedy.
Hess (23:16):
I love Delbert.
I listened to him in his talkwhen he went down to London.
Yesterday morning how he talksabout the people, it all comes
about their stories.
The 54-year-old firefighterthat, that passed.
He, he listens and he hears thestories.
And our story of April 3rd,1974, we carry with us our whole
(23:44):
life.
We've trans, we've transformedthat story to help us be more
prepared if we get hints of badweather and so forth.
It's, we learn from our storiesand then it can help us rewrite
our story.
Delbert (24:01):
And I was, I'll tell you one other thing.
I wasn't allowed to drive atnight the April 3rd tornado
'cause I just had my license.
But that my dad said, you drovethrough a tornado, you can drive
at night.
Now.
I was.
Hah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that did happen.
So
Hess (24:23):
Delbert, I'm really glad that your dad was home getting
all the younger siblings down inthe basement.
Delbert (24:29):
Like I said, it didn't touch our house.
Not a, but we had a lot of twoby fours and construction stuff
in the front yard afterwards.
Yeah.
Not even a window cracked.
In that crazy.
But my dad did build that housereally well.
Hess (24:44):
So that's pretty cool that he built a basement.
We had a basement growing up,and we go down there.
In the house that I built heredad said, no, you don't need a
basement.
It's a, it's really anunderground pool, and so you
don't.
Delbert (24:59):
I know a lot of people feel that way about basements.
Yeah.
Hess (25:03):
When I put the addition on the back I put a crawlspace in,
so I now have a place to go.
So that's good.
And UBI that lives next door, weput a big basement in his, at
his house.
So if it's gonna be real bad, itcould go up there.
It's almost like a bomb shelter.
It's so big.
But anyway yeah.
So that's cool that your dadwent home and got everybody in
(25:24):
the basement and, i'm not sure.
I don't know where my dad wasduring that, but we did, we went
into a store there in St.
Matthew's and hovered in anoffice and now I remember my mom
saying that.
Delbert (25:39):
Hess, what are you doing this week?
Hess (25:43):
I did some pivots yesterday, Delbert our furnace
broke.
We're gonna be getting a newgeothermal unit in the house.
I'll be making a decision aboutthat.
My little dog, she had thosecataracts taken out last month
and she got some swelling in oneof her eyes, so I ran her to our
vet and pivoted with her and gother more medications and she's a
(26:08):
lot better today.
So I feel a whole lot better.
And so I'm ready to go toDollywood tomorrow.
I'm going with two friends fromchurch and we're driving to
Dollywood
Delbert (26:19):
Oh,
Hess (26:19):
Monday, Tuesday.
Delbert (26:20):
Dolly Parton shows up.
Hess (26:23):
I heard that she can, I heard that she does, and I'm
gonna manifest that.
Delbert (26:28):
manifest it.
Yes.
Oh, that's wonderful.
I have the best time.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna have anopen house today and then I'm
gonna go show some property and,and my youngest darlings
graduating from middle school.
I sent Hess a video yesterdaywas the Best West Fest.
And that's a big festival thatthe school has out in the
(26:49):
streets in Portland.
So I was in the neighborhoodwhere my dad grew up and where
my darlings went to middleschool at my dad's same middle
school down in Portland.
And
Hess (27:00):
and that's called manual?
Is that right?
No,
Delbert (27:03):
Middle School is
Hess (27:04):
Middle School.
Delbert (27:06):
Down in Portland.
My great-grandfather was acaptain on the Ohio they lived
in Portland and it just happensto be like a really great school
for the Arts Magnet School forthe arts as well, middle school.
So went to their very lastperformance and I sent us a
video of them singing High Hopeswith the whole little brass
(27:26):
band.
And it was beautiful.
It was.
Hess (27:28):
In the background it.
Delbert (27:30):
is awesome.
Awesome.
period to the end of thesentence of the week and getting
ready to move forward into highschool.
Hess (27:40):
That is so fantastic.
So you got a lot of cool thingsto look forward to.
Delbert (27:44):
Lot to
Hess (27:44):
be manifesting Dolly and I will feel her in spirit and it's
gonna be fun and I'm prepared.
Delbert (27:52):
Hey, and I wanna give a gratitude really quick here.
Hess, you all is the person whosends the link every Sunday
morning.
Then she edits our podcast andbroadcasts it.
I really just show up on thegreen couch and tell y'all
what's on my mind, but I wannagive a gratitude and honor that.
(28:13):
Hess, thank you so much foralways doing that.
Hess (28:16):
You're so welcome.
I love you and you contributegreatly to this.
It wouldn't be, let me tell youthis about that, unless you
were, if we were together
Delbert (28:28):
you're sweet for saying that everybody.
We
Hess (28:31):
all right.
Delbert (28:31):
you have an awesome week this week.
Go out there and.
Get ready today to go out thereand have a great week.
And if some, if the universethrows you a curve ball, be
ready to pivot towards joy andproductivity I.
Hess (28:49):
We love you.
Take care.
Hey, welcome you all to let me tell you this about that.
My name's Hess and I'm inLexington, Kentucky on my little
white chair looking out mybedroom window at the green
grass.
Delbert (00:15):
Good morning.
This is Delbert.
I'm in Louisville, Kentucky, onthe green couch, as always
looking out my big picturewindow, and it's a beautiful day
in Kentucky Today.
The grass is so green, the treesare all bloomed, lots of flowers
blooming.
I think the storm got the restof my peonies tests.
Hess (00:36):
Yeah, I
Delbert (00:37):
enjoyed them while they were there, but yeah.
Hess (00:41):
Delbert, I was thinking last night about talking this
morning with our pods aboutpreparing and pivoting and this
is what I, this is when I thinkabout preparing, I think about
sometimes I think about my boat.
Yeah.
I watched this one guy, he'scalled the coaches captain, and
(01:03):
I love watching his YouTubevideos because he.
He teaches and coaches peoplehow to dock their boat.
You would love it.
I gotta send you some of thesebecause you always do that boat
rental down at the lake and takeyour family out and he teaches
people how to come up to a dockor how to leave a dock and he is
just really super guy and he isnever critical.
He is just really calm.
(01:24):
Anyway, he does boat deliveries,Delbert and last night.
I was watching the video of himdelivering this 48 foot Bennetau
from from the west coast ofFlorida up to west Palm to the
boat show.
And so he gets on this fancy newboat and he is gonna be solo
delivering.
He is gonna have about a 12 hourjourney in one day.
(01:46):
And he, it's just this brand newspanking boat, and he does all,
he got his little bag and stufflike that.
And halfway through the video,Delbert, he goes one thing I
gotta tell y'all, when you geton a new boat everything might
be there, but there's not gonnabe any toilet paper.
So even that, that got in mind,the, about being able to
(02:10):
prepare.
So I think about boats to getready.
We collect information, right?
We decide what we need, and thenwe do it.
Now, coach is captain.
He is gonna have that toiletpaper with him next time he has
to move a boat.
But
Delbert (02:24):
Yeah.
Hess (02:25):
yeah, and he also commented that he didn't have a
spotlight.
So always have a big spotlight.
Have a spotlight with you thatthere's portable ones that you
can put in your bag becausethat's.
For the Coast Guard, you have tohave a spotlight in it for sure.
You need it.
If you were to get out there andit gets dark and be able to see
the markers in the channel.
So when I think about taking myboat out, I've got fenders,
(02:48):
right?
I've got the lines, I've got theanchor, and I didn't have a
spare anchor up in my frontlocker.
I've done the maintenance on theengines and the oil, all that
stuff's in order, and thebatteries are charged up and I
tow my boat where I wanna takeit.
So I've also checked the tiresand the trailer and I'm ready to
launch.
Delbert.
So what causes I'm a goodcaptain.
(03:10):
Thanks.
Delbert (03:11):
are.
Hess (03:13):
What causes a pivot?
On a boat weather.
If the seas are rough it's not agood day to go.
I can wait, I can adjust.
And when we travel by boat, youcan have a destination, but you
should not have a schedulebecause you gotta be able to be
flexible for the weather.
(03:33):
It's the same thing with lifeDelbert.
We have knowledge that gets,that we collect, we can do
research, we could talk topeople, we could get more
information from any kind ofresources.
Then we make our decision.
But that decision is just thatbeginning of a path.
It's like a tree after thatdecision, then it might branch
(03:54):
off into another direction asthings go, or like an actual
path, it comes to anintersection and we go right, or
we go left.
We pivot.
We have to be ready to pivot inany moment.
It doesn't mean we, we need toworry about the future, but
living in the moment.
We can get all in with theinformation that we have right
(04:16):
now.
So a pivot really is a change ofstrategy without a change of
vision.
Delbert (04:23):
I love that quote, Hess.
That's so true.
We've gotta remember that.
'cause sometimes we get sodisheartened about having to
make a big pivot, Got a visionand a goal but the vision
remains the same.
Hess (04:37):
Say that again.
I interrupted you.
Delbert (04:39):
That's okay.
I just said, sometimes we getdisheartened, when we have to
make a hard pivot when we've gota goal in mind.
But I think that's such a goodquote.
It is a change in strategy, butnot in vision.
I Can tell yourself that's sucha good lesson, such a good
quote.
I love that.
Hess (04:56):
You just talked about what happened to your peonies that
they got beaten down with somebad weather, and I want to tell
the pods that April 4th, 1974 inour life, Delbert, we had a, we
have a story to tell about thatday.
We experienced it.
You were already 16, yourbirthday's in January mine's
April 29th, so I was still 15,but we experienced this event
(05:21):
that passed through Louisville.
What do you remember about thatday?
Delbert (05:25):
We weren't really all that prepared.
'cause it had, that had neverhappened in Kentucky or it
hadn't for a very long time.
I had just got my driver'slicense.
My birthday was in January and Ihad this little yellow
Volkswagen beetle that my dadgot me.
And I was taking my sister todance class and really we should
have gotten off the expresswayand gotten down in a ditch, but
(05:47):
we drove to Oxmoor.
This mall where the dance studiowas, and all the lights were
out.
That's back when there wereSpencer's gifts and there were
wicks and sticks and everybody'swalking around with a mushroom
candle in the mall that theybuy.
And I was, I love strawberries,so I had all the strawberry
(06:09):
scented stuff and I was like,I'd really like a strawberry
candle.
My mom's for God's sakes, justget a mushroom like everybody
else, it's dark, but I, we gotmy sister, we, we got back in
the Volkswagen and we're, ittook us so long to get home
because all the devastation wasreally around where we lived.
Northfield.
Was devastated.
(06:29):
A lot of houses torn down in, inSpring Valley where I lived.
And my dad did get everybody tothe basement they said as they
were running down the steps,they could see two by fours
flying through the air.
Hess (06:41):
Wow.
Delbert (06:42):
you, he got'em down just in time.
what was your experience thatday?
Hess (06:49):
Delbert.
I'd been at basketball practice,and my mom had picked me up and
was driving me home.
And we were at, we were onShelbyville Road getting ready
to turn left there by TrinityHigh School, and we were
listening to WHAS and thetraffic copter guy was up in the
air talking about the tornado.
And it's hitting the fairgroundsbarns right now.
(07:12):
And I think we were able to goahead and speak.
No, I think we turned left thereand we went into one of those
stores over there on the right.
I think that's what we did.
Delbert up you.
So were you in Oxmoor when itwas hitting?
Delbert (07:26):
Yeah.
I was in the
Hess (07:27):
Okay.
Delbert (07:27):
and I
Hess (07:28):
were in the middle.
Delbert (07:29):
but
Hess (07:31):
You didn't know what was going on,
Delbert (07:32):
I really did not know what the buzz was, what was
happening.
I,
Hess (07:36):
right.
Delbert (07:37):
It was just out there in far as like weather that we
had experienced.
It was just so out there.
We really didn't know what washappening but we were in a place
where we were able to get a lotof information from other people
and people were under the stairsof Oxmoor.
And Thank goodness it didn'treally hit the mall because I
(07:58):
don't think we were.
re aside from those mushroomcandles, I don't think we were
super prepared.
Wix and Sticks sold out ofcandles that day.
Hess (08:08):
Wow.
Delbert (08:09):
Yeah.
But because everybody had one.
But that's all I remember.
And then getting home andnothing happened to our house,
but there, there was devastationall around us and nothing
happened,
Hess (08:20):
the neighborhood next to you got hit and the neighborhood
after you got hit.
Delbert (08:24):
No, even houses in our neighborhood got hit.
Hess (08:27):
Really.
Delbert (08:28):
Oh yeah.
That's the randomness of theuniverse.
That's what I was talking to youabout.
Life throws a lot our way andsome ways we have no control
over.
Where we're born or what thecircumstances are that we're
born into.
You just sent me that book byPeter Buffet.
Life is what You Make it.
We don't he, starts out bysaying that in the book, Don't,
(08:52):
the universe does not yield.
The universe is random, and itreally is all about what you
make out of what your life is.
It's a series, and in some waysfrom the time we're born, we're
prepping and pivoting as littlechildren.
(09:14):
And the way
Hess (09:15):
Right.
Delbert (09:15):
the good in life, I think, is wherever you come
from, whatever you do.
And we talk about writing ourstories.
The point of my story collectionof stories is just to the good
that you're given.
In the middle of all the chaosin your life, come back to
center and honor the good and dowhat you know.
Hess (09:44):
Yeah Delbert, it hit a lot of areas in Louisville.
It wiped out all these trees inCherokee Park and.
All of this stuff and thefairgrounds the neighborhoods
close to you.
And since we experienced that,I've always had a weather radio.
I've, when I went to live on myown that that I go pee.
(10:08):
Beep.
If there's a weather alert, nowwe can get those notifications
on our phone.
Last month.
There was enough go ahead toknow, and for me to say, Hey,
Cathy, we're going downstairs inthe crawl space, and we took two
chairs down there and all thedogs we're coming down here.
Because of that experience of,in April, 1974 that we
(10:30):
experienced it, it made me moreattuned to prepare and to take
action.
To take cover if there's analert.
And it's so good the way thatwe'll know ahead of time that
there could be a weatherincident that can happen because
I wanna get all the horses outof the barn.
I'd rather have them out in thefield versus being in a building
(10:54):
that could be.
That could be wiped out.
And then they have everythingfall on'em, that they're safer
if they could be out in thefield and disperse and to go up
to the top of the hill or thebottom of the hill if they would
know because they really cansense weather.
So preparing is doing everythingthat we can so that we can.
(11:17):
Then do what?
Do what we need to do.
And then there's a pivot.
So Cathy and I pivoted a monthago, Delbert, where, okay, it's
passed.
It's clear.
It's 12:30 AM we can go upstairsnow it's gone.
But the people down near Londonand Laurel County and down there
(11:39):
in Kentucky, they were hit by, abad tornado.
Somerset was hit by one.
They had some businesses there,and then it went on straight
west, excuse me, straight eastand cut through neighborhoods
and wiped out part of peoplethat live in London, Kentucky.
Delbert (12:01):
Yeah, it hit them.
Then that's just recent.
That's just happened thisweekend.
Our governor declared anotherstate of emergency and just.
Just another example of just therandomness of the universe.
You know
Hess (12:15):
Yeah, so Friday night.
Delbert (12:16):
town?
Yeah.
Why that little town?
Cute little town.
Yeah.
Hess (12:20):
Friday night.
That happened this past Fridaynight to them where.
A month ago it passed for us.
And so Cathy and I came out fromthe crawlspace, but these people
down that were hit Friday night,they came out, whoa, the rest of
my house is gone.
Or the whole garage hascollapsed on our vehicles.
(12:42):
And they weren't a point.
And even though it somethingtragic happened.
And it is hard and you losematerial things.
Then you pivot to a, thank GodI'm alive.
Delbert (12:57):
Exactly.
I was.
Talking to my youngest daughterand she said, mom, the best
thing that you ever said to me Ithink, was that the universe
does not yield.
It doesn't matter if, you couldhave one of the people that
could have their house, couldhave been destroyed, could have
cancer, could be with some othertype of.
(13:22):
changing event, and then yourhouse is gone.
The universe doesn't yield it,and it really is how we come
back to center and assess andpivot.
And sometimes it's a smallpivot, like on a basketball
court, and sometimes it's a hugepivot.
(13:44):
It's a huge pivot in life.
Completely.
You think about those people,they have to completely rebuild
their lives and no, tell'em whatelse is going on.
So all those people in Somerset,in London, were thinking about
y'all.
Hess (14:03):
Very much rebuild in the same place or do a total move.
And I like this dolbert that thepivoting really, it's the
beginning of the next leg of ajourney, right?
Delbert (14:19):
You'd think.
When you think about life, youthink that we do most of our
prepping and pivoting andadjusting and learning when
we're young, but it's not true.
You and I can testify to that.
We're still learning, we'restill growing.
We're still like dag on.
Why didn't I know that, until Iwas today years old.
And you're six, we're 67 andwe're still learning.
(14:42):
We're still, we're going to agreat retreat soon to, to learn
more at Hessa, set up for us andwith our Barkley Village group.
And yeah, just, it's just aseries of learning and using
your knowledge that you have andgathering even more makes your
life beautiful.
Hess (15:02):
Delbert, I came across, I was cleaning off the top of my
desk.
I love Post-It note, post-its,so I have small post-its, I make
post-its, I like the biggerpost-its.
And I'll, and I had all of thisstuff written on these Post-Its,
and I'll just tear it off andI'll glue it to the backside of
it.
And I was going through all ofthose and I had written down
(15:23):
that.
Death is not learning anythingto me.
That's what death is
Delbert (15:34):
Wow.
Hess (15:35):
when I stop learning.
Yeah.
Delbert (15:39):
You and I both talked a lot about, a lot of our friends
have already retired and you andI are still working.
And me that would be not I.
Working and being out in theworld to not learning new.
I love to, every day I learnsomething new about real estate
that I didn't know the daybefore.
And sometimes people ask mequestions and I say let me find
(16:01):
out about that, I Like I know alot and I do, but I don't know
everything.
So it is true when you just keepthat motion going, you're
creating that electricity right?
And it's sparking your brain andit's keeping you moving forward.
Even if life throws you somethings that, that push you back
just a little bit, long as youcan get
Hess (16:23):
Right.
Delbert (16:23):
up, move to center.
Pivot and go
Hess (16:30):
I just walked into the other room, Delbert, and it
squabbled right there.
Repeat what you just said thatlast line.
Delbert (16:37):
oh, I just said, as long as whatever life throws at
you, as long as you can, comeback to center.
I.
Regroup and then pivot and go,your whole life.
That's what it's about.
There's, there really is nookay, now I'm gonna stop.
We're never gonna Living, nevergonna stop
Hess (16:56):
ever.
Delbert (16:56):
never gonna stop learning and trying to be better
just take on whatever theuniverse throws our way.
Hess (17:06):
And that's our own journey in Delbert.
I notice sometimes in my ownjourney I'll get frustrated
because of where somebody elsemight be on their journey that,
that they're in a spot wherelife is hard or they're not
making good decisions.
And I'll get real aggravated.
They just haven't come to theplace where they've learned what
(17:28):
they need to know.
And I like this.
I went into the other room topick up this purple post-it
note, it says I re I release andlet go of anyone learning good
lessons on their journey.
They don't have to have itfigured out for me to feel
better.
Delbert (17:48):
Exactly.
And I think that you have such aheart for that.
Because you're, a therapist andand physical health means so
much to you.
It's hard to accept sometimesbut we gotta let it go.
We can't live anybody's life forthem.
Hess (18:07):
As you said, we're 67 and still learning stuff, and
somebody 74 might say, gosh, howdid you make that mistake?
Why didn't you know thatalready?
But maybe somebody 20 yearsold's already learned something
that we haven't learned yet, andit's just we're where we are to
learn it.
Delbert (18:25):
right.
That's the beauty of life you'rein.
Exactly.
The place that you should be.
Hess (18:33):
So life has the world and this weather system, which is so
awesome, Delbert, that we havealerts that can alert us more in
advance.
And I was telling somebody thismorning, like with a hurricane.
You can know a few days inadvance like to leave and to go
ahead and get on the route ofthat evacu, that evacuation
(18:56):
route With a tornado, you don't,you, you might only get hours or
you might get a day, or youmight, there's a weather system
coming in.
You might know a day in advance,then you might know a few hours.
Then you might know onlyminutes.
And especially this happenedthis event down in London
(19:17):
happened at night.
It's so bad when it happens atnight because you might not know
at all that it's going on, andit might already be in bed.
You might have to get up earlythe next morning, and you got in
bed at eight 30 and you have noidea.
Delbert (19:34):
It's true.
I've slept through a lot ofstorms.
I'm a heavy sleeper.
I'm not proud of it, but it'shappened.
Okay.
It's.
Hess (19:44):
Yeah, you were telling me last month when that weather
event happened, that you didn'thear your phone go off.
Delbert (19:50):
No, I had it set.
I'm like, okay, I'm reallyexhausted.
I'm gonna lay down here, but I'mgonna have all the alarms set.
And my neighbor said, you didn'thear that the alarm was going
off at Bowman Field, which issuper close to our house.
And I had one on my phone, butI'd had a rough day.
I was learning a lot of lessons.
I was weathering a lot ofstorms, and I just.
(20:11):
fell into a deep sleep eye.
I am a deep sleeper and I dreama lot in color.
And that recharges me for mynext day.
And so anyway, I woke up andsaid thank goodness nothing
happened.
There were a lot of sticks andlimbs in my yard, but my and my
(20:31):
peonies took a beating,
Hess (20:33):
yeah my, my blooms are like facing down now.
I might have to go fill someVAEs up out there, so I can
bring that smell into the house.
Delbert, I have a big, I have avase with a bunch of'em on my
kitchen table, and I justdiscovered the other day that it
smells like Coppertone suntanlotion.
Delbert (20:51):
it's making me excited for summer.
That's one of the things mydaughter put in my Easter basket
was, lotion, sunscreen do youremember Band Is Soleil, the
smell of that smells so good.
There's a new product thatsmells like that.
And so she got
Hess (21:06):
Oh.
Delbert (21:06):
tube of that to take to Bethany.
So I'm ready.
I got a big hat.
I haven't bought my book yet,I'm more about the the
accessories, but I am gonna getmy book where Read, tell'em what
we're reading has.
Hess (21:21):
We are reading the Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown,
and it's really fantastic.
We're gonna have so much fun.
We, I have the 10th anniversaryedition.
I think it was, I think it's now15 years.
Really.
I believe that it was copyright2010.
And it's about kinda like whathelps us live a wholehearted
(21:44):
life and what are someguideposts that we can do to
make sure that we live thatwholehearted life and.
Along this topic that we'retalking about right now, Bert,
some, something that's coming tome that, that's in this book is
that when we do hit that hardspot and we have to pivot that
(22:04):
something that can help us isgratitude.
Delbert (22:08):
Yes.
Hess (22:10):
Like I say the people that, that were in this tornado
path, they've moved to, we areglad we're alive to that kind of
gratitude.
Delbert (22:19):
And that's the same as that.
Going back to Center in theChaos and going back to honoring
the good that we've been given.
I.
You can dance anywhere.
You can have a joyful heart andsing a song anywhere.
And just, and remember the goodthat's in your life, the good
people that have crossed yourpath.
Hess (22:42):
One of the pivots that some of these victims of the
tornado are probablyexperiencing is what they're
experiencing now are thehelpers.
Delbert (22:51):
Yes, and the sun's out.
The sun is gonna Dry things upand the sun is shining in our
Kentucky home And that's good.
Good weather, good neighbors.
we have a wonderful governor.
That's putting things togetherto help all those people.
So those are the good thingsthat we can be thankful for in,
(23:13):
in the tragedy.
Hess (23:16):
I love Delbert.
I listened to him in his talkwhen he went down to London.
Yesterday morning how he talksabout the people, it all comes
about their stories.
The 54-year-old firefighterthat, that passed.
He, he listens and he hears thestories.
And our story of April 3rd,1974, we carry with us our whole
(23:44):
life.
We've trans, we've transformedthat story to help us be more
prepared if we get hints of badweather and so forth.
It's, we learn from our storiesand then it can help us rewrite
our story.
Delbert (24:01):
And I was, I'll tell you one other thing.
I wasn't allowed to drive atnight the April 3rd tornado
'cause I just had my license.
But that my dad said, you drovethrough a tornado, you can drive
at night.
Now.
I was.
Hah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that did happen.
So
Hess (24:23):
Delbert, I'm really glad that your dad was home getting
all the younger siblings down inthe basement.
Delbert (24:29):
Like I said, it didn't touch our house.
Not a, but we had a lot of twoby fours and construction stuff
in the front yard afterwards.
Yeah.
Not even a window cracked.
In that crazy.
But my dad did build that housereally well.
Hess (24:44):
So that's pretty cool that he built a basement.
We had a basement growing up,and we go down there.
In the house that I built heredad said, no, you don't need a
basement.
It's a, it's really anunderground pool, and so you
don't.
Delbert (24:59):
I know a lot of people feel that way about basements.
Yeah.
Hess (25:03):
When I put the addition on the back I put a crawlspace in,
so I now have a place to go.
So that's good.
And UBI that lives next door, weput a big basement in his, at
his house.
So if it's gonna be real bad, itcould go up there.
It's almost like a bomb shelter.
It's so big.
But anyway yeah.
So that's cool that your dadwent home and got everybody in
(25:24):
the basement and, i'm not sure.
I don't know where my dad wasduring that, but we did, we went
into a store there in St.
Matthew's and hovered in anoffice and now I remember my mom
saying that.
Delbert (25:39):
Hess, what are you doing this week?
Hess (25:43):
I did some pivots yesterday, Delbert our furnace
broke.
We're gonna be getting a newgeothermal unit in the house.
I'll be making a decision aboutthat.
My little dog, she had thosecataracts taken out last month
and she got some swelling in oneof her eyes, so I ran her to our
vet and pivoted with her and gother more medications and she's a
(26:08):
lot better today.
So I feel a whole lot better.
And so I'm ready to go toDollywood tomorrow.
I'm going with two friends fromchurch and we're driving to
Dollywood
Delbert (26:19):
Oh,
Hess (26:19):
Monday, Tuesday.
Delbert (26:20):
Dolly Parton shows up.
Hess (26:23):
I heard that she can, I heard that she does, and I'm
gonna manifest that.
Delbert (26:28):
manifest it.
Yes.
Oh, that's wonderful.
I have the best time.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna have anopen house today and then I'm
gonna go show some property and,and my youngest darlings
graduating from middle school.
I sent Hess a video yesterdaywas the Best West Fest.
And that's a big festival thatthe school has out in the
(26:49):
streets in Portland.
So I was in the neighborhoodwhere my dad grew up and where
my darlings went to middleschool at my dad's same middle
school down in Portland.
And
Hess (27:00):
and that's called manual?
Is that right?
No,
Delbert (27:03):
Middle School is
Hess (27:04):
Middle School.
Delbert (27:06):
Down in Portland.
My great-grandfather was acaptain on the Ohio they lived
in Portland and it just happensto be like a really great school
for the Arts Magnet School forthe arts as well, middle school.
So went to their very lastperformance and I sent us a
video of them singing High Hopeswith the whole little brass
(27:26):
band.
And it was beautiful.
It was.
Hess (27:28):
In the background it.
Delbert (27:30):
is awesome.
Awesome.
period to the end of thesentence of the week and getting
ready to move forward into highschool.
Hess (27:40):
That is so fantastic.
So you got a lot of cool thingsto look forward to.
Delbert (27:44):
Lot to
Hess (27:44):
be manifesting Dolly and I will feel her in spirit and it's
gonna be fun and I'm prepared.
Delbert (27:52):
Hey, and I wanna give a gratitude really quick here.
Hess, you all is the person whosends the link every Sunday
morning.
Then she edits our podcast andbroadcasts it.
I really just show up on thegreen couch and tell y'all
what's on my mind, but I wannagive a gratitude and honor that.
(28:13):
Hess, thank you so much foralways doing that.
Hess (28:16):
You're so welcome.
I love you and you contributegreatly to this.
It wouldn't be, let me tell youthis about that, unless you
were, if we were together
Delbert (28:28):
you're sweet for saying that everybody.
We
Hess (28:31):
all right.
Delbert (28:31):
you have an awesome week this week.
Go out there and.
Get ready today to go out thereand have a great week.
And if some, if the universethrows you a curve ball, be
ready to pivot towards joy andproductivity I.
Hess (28:49):
We love you.
Take care.
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