September 7, 2025 • 32 mins
Episode 47! Run Towards It!
Hess and Delbert were inspired this week by the passing of the mother of one of their classmates from Sacred Heart. Maureen Walker was a musician, a teacher and a family counselor in Louisville Kentucky—also she was Delberts senior year cheerleading coach. She had a private practice in Louisville for 40 years. She would see a need, and fill it. It is what all of us must do. One step at a time. We take what we have experienced, oftentimes something that is very difficult, and we move forward to a change that would be better for others. We feel the fear and run towards it. What can be done different? How can things be improved? Our experiences are important, they guide us to the next best step. Peace and Love, we believe in you, we hear you! Run towards it!
I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. We are awaiting the next CT Scans that will tell you where he is after his second round of treatments. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey, thank you so much for joining us to, let me tell you
this about that.
My name is Hess.
I'm in Lexington, Kentucky,sitting in a white chair at my
bedroom window.
Looking out the window, Delbert,and it's a, it's like a blue
sky.
With little soft white cloudsand there's more faint of green.
(00:22):
The green's a little strongerbecause Thursday morning we had
a nice rain all morning long.
It had been like six weeks sincewe'd had rain, and so things are
starting to green up a littlemore.
That's where I am Delbert.
Delbert (00:36):
Good morning podsters.
I'm as always on the green couchlooking out the big picture
window.
And this morning when I woke up,it was little gray overcast here
in Louisville, Kentucky, and Iwent and put my coffee on and.
I came back out to look, therewas a little bit of pink and
purple shining through littleswirl coming out, and now it is
(00:59):
a, it's gray and blue, butthere's patches of that
beautiful golden sunshinethrough.
So there's the weather forecastfrom Louisville, Kentucky, the
unofficial.
I think it's gonna be a greatday and as I say, I always think
it's gonna be a great day today,we had a life event again with a
friend from Sacred HeartAcademy.
(01:20):
One of our friends that was partof the 1976 basketball team
Colleen Walker was the managerher mom passed.
This past week, and I wasfortunate.
I, she was my cheerleading coachat Sacred Heart and I got to to
her funeral.
I knew Colleen, she was theclass behind us and she's also
(01:41):
worked with me in real estate.
And then her younger sister,Shannon, was in my sister
Carole's class at Sacred Heart.
Just this, an extraordinarywoman that was her mother,
Maureen Walker.
Many people and Louisville knowher.
She was a.
A therapist, family counselorfor many years, but also before
that, a teacher mathematics.
(02:03):
She also helped form thecurriculum for Jefferson County
Public Schools for mathematics.
She just had a brilliant mindand I think one of the things I
said to Colleen was, she was aRenaissance woman.
She was just this incredibleperson.
So today, talking about ordinarypeople extraordinary things.
(02:23):
Is Our inspiration and thenimportant your job is, has,
you're being a therapist, acounselor, psychologist,
psychiatrist, that how importantroles are in our lives.
Hess (02:40):
Yeah, so ordinary people doing.
Doing really positive thingsthat, that Colleen said they
wouldn't go anywhere inLouisville.
They'd be at Cunningham'srestaurant and people would come
up and say, Maureen, you savedmy life.
Maureen.
You saved our family.
And what I just I dove in.
(03:04):
Delbert in, in, in Mor Maureen'sobituary.
It says that she was born in 37,married in 58, and in 1970 she
was divorced.
And in getting divorced in theCatholic church was not common.
My parents divorced like in1974.
I didn't know anybody else in myclass whose parents were
(03:26):
divorced, but Maureen, she hadthe courage and she forged a new
path for herself and her twodaughters who survive her and.
She forged this new, forged thispath.
She was an educator.
She was into music.
She was a gifted teacher,natural leader.
And when she was workingDelbert, when she would work
(03:48):
with students, she would seethat something's going on.
They're coming from some kind ofhome.
And this child that's in herclass, this child that's in
front of her, this student, shewould know that things aren't
well, things aren't good.
This in this student's life,which makes this student show up
in this way.
Just like you with food.
(04:09):
If a child doesn't have food intheir stomach, how are they
gonna study?
If a child has chaos in theirhome how can they study?
She went back to school and sheended up getting, going into a
certain type of.
Therapy work and which was theBowen Family System theory.
She was schooled and educated inGeorgetown outside Washington DC
(04:35):
and she studied this BowenFamily Systems theory, which
would help strengthen this wholefamily and help the dynamics.
It just wasn't this one studentthat needed things thrown at
them.
It was changing things in theirhome and new dynamics in the
home.
So it was amazing what all shedid and Delbert when we were
(04:59):
talking earlier, it's kind likeyou go along in your life.
And then you see a need thatneeds to be filled, and then you
take some steps towards that andtake some more steps forward.
And then you're on this new pathwhere you're gonna do something
and help somebody.
Delbert (05:17):
It is she noticed a need in her students when she
was teaching high school andjust did a deeper dive into
that.
And educated herself this.
I think it's so interesting Ilooked up the Bowen Family
Center and that's wherecontributions go in memory of
Maureen because she justbelieves so much in it.
(05:39):
the Bowen Center for the Studyof Family.
And it's a whole theory thatthis Dr.
Murray Bowen developed.
And it is about the family as anemotional unit.
So it's about the whole thing.
When something, and we all knowthat when something affects one
of us, it affects all of us.
Sometimes there's this personthat's controlling things in the
(06:00):
family because of whatever'sgoing on with them and how do we
stay together, support thatperson and continue to be a good
functioning unit,
Hess (06:10):
yeah it goes in and finds where the unhealthy dynamics
are.
Delbert (06:14):
right,
Hess (06:15):
and helps that which then can Ali eliminate any of that
triangulation that can go on.
And so you get a healthier, moreopen communication and all the
relationship there in thefamily.
Delbert (06:29):
So always teaching her whole life.
I'll tell you.
A funny story about how I mether and she was just this force,
right?
She was just a force of nature.
She probably would've been aconcert, performer, she was such
a great musician and played thepiano her whole life.
And walked to school every dayin Portland.
(06:52):
That's a neighborhood inLouisville, down by the river.
And played the organ at St.
Cecilia's Church every day.
Which I can just see her doingthat.
She was such a force of nature.
But Sacred Heart, we never had acheerleading coach.
Like the teams all had a coachand it was always Bunny, right?
Bunny Doherty coachedeverything, at Sacred Heart, but
we did our own thing.
(07:13):
We were just like.
We would make up our cheers and,and so when it came time for a
pompom routine that year, 19 75,76 season, we did our pompom
routine to ZZ tops looking forsome tush and we premiered it
Trinity High School Gym AgainstAssumption, our Arch Rival
(07:34):
Assumption High School.
and we've got our backspace inthe.
The audience, and that songcomes on and we're like shaking
our booties.
And I remember all the nuns cameto the really big games, so
they're all sitting in the frontand they're like, I think they
need a cheerleading coach.
Yeah.
Yes.
And so she came in she did it.
(07:56):
She coached the JV and thevarsity.
'cause her youngest daughter,Shannon, was on the JV just came
in and completely transformedus.
We went from being a ragtagbunch to, she had us, won
district, then we went toregional.
We came in second in regional,so we didn't get to go to state,
(08:16):
but that we just transformed.
She had us doing double sessionsand being really precision and
straight and, and she justwhipped us into shape.
So she was just such a force ofnature.
She took us from, looking forsome tush to the way to come and
run her up in regionals.
And I just, and so from thatrelationship, every time I saw
(08:37):
her I always she'd be in arestaurant.
I would just go up and say, Hey,Ms.
Walker, how are you?
She was, you were just attractedto her.
And my Aunt Katie, when she gotdivorced, went to Maureen as the
counselor.
And she, we sat together inchurch at her funeral and Katie
said, she saved my life.
(08:58):
I'm sitting here in church andtelling you she saved my life.
Hess (09:03):
Wow.
Delbert (09:04):
what an incredible.
Incredible person and we'retelling you this story pods
'cause we wanna inspire you tothe most extraordinary person
that you can be.
Whatever life throws you, thinkabout how you can transform it,
Hess (09:20):
When you see a need run to it.
Delbert (09:22):
right?
Run.
Hess (09:23):
Yeah.
And it's because of what you'vegone through, that you are gonna
feel the energy that somethingneeds to happen here.
So I'll speak for myself.
Delbert, a child of divorce.
I think my mom might, you mightsay she's even still bitter that
she's, that my dad divorced herup to this day.
(09:46):
And.
I was in something that happenedto me.
Something happened to mecomparable to that a separation
and a child was involved and itreally hurt me so much that a
child was put in this situation.
So I went back to school at 36.
I thought to myself, I wannahelp couples so that children
(10:07):
don't get put in the middle.
So it's because of somethingthat happened to me that made me
wanna run towards what can I doto help other people?
We had a, we had a boarder atthe farm here.
Joanne Bell, one of the smartestpeople I know I've ever met,
she'd read about sevennewspapers a day.
She was a professor of socialwork at uk and she said, let's
(10:28):
sit down and let's talk.
And then she asked me like, whatdo you see you wanna do?
And I told her, I said, I wannasee myself working with couples
so that kids don't get put inthe middle of relationship
problems.
And she says, okay.
And she said I think going.
To the Master's of Social Workprogram would be the quickest
way for you to get there andthat, and so then I went and
(10:50):
applied for a Master's of socialwork and got in and finished
that.
And then you can study what youneed to study to fine tune your
skills.
But yeah.
And so that's what I, that'swhat I got into.
And'cause I saw a need.
And Delbert, you told me a storythe other day, if you wouldn't
mind me repeating.
Is that because of what you wentthrough with your sister in the
(11:13):
accident?
You, you were in a car with yournephew, Jonathan
Delbert (11:17):
No Christopher
Hess (11:19):
Christopher.
Excuse me.
Delbert (11:20):
That's.
Hess (11:20):
Yeah.
Christopher, you were in the carwith Christopher Carole's son,
and you were driving along theroad, you saw a van down in the
gully all flipped over downthere and Christopher looked at
you and what did he say?
Delbert (11:34):
He said, us being who we are and what we've been
through he said, we've gotta,we've gotta get out and towards
that.
Hess (11:42):
Yeah.
Delbert (11:42):
you're right.
And we parked, pulled the carover and and we had a pizza too.
So we knew our pizza was gonnaget cold.
We got out.
And towards the van and it wasempty, and we were so relieved
that was just a vacant car thathad an accident and the people
were safe.
But I just thought how brave hewas to remind me you run towards
(12:05):
it.
Don't run away from it.
Run words that when you can be ahelper.
Don't put yourself in harm'sway, but you've gotta be.
Ready to run towards your fears,right?
The things that scare you themost.
Car accidents give me trauma nomatter if they're just minor or
(12:26):
major, because that's how CarolMeghan passed.
I have to be willing to facethat and run towards it And and
then, just carrying out Carole'smission.
To feed people.
She was passionate about beingfamilies, being around the table
and not all families arefortunate enough to be around
the table.
Like Ms.
Walker kept her girls tight, shekept them around the table.
(12:49):
And I try to do that with mydarlings and my children and my
son-in-law.
Keep'em tight, keep'em aroundthe table, but out to other
people and try to help them stayaround the table.
Hess (13:04):
So it, it seems like that's how ordinary people do
un-ordinary things and movetowards the greatness.
Just one little step at a timewhere you see a need and in
Maureen's life how she said fromevery little step with some
adaptation to seeing somethingthat needed to be done.
(13:28):
And she do it.
And then she'd do that well, andthen she'd see the next thing
that would need to be done.
When she taught math she createdthe whole system that
mathematics was the wholemathematics structure or
something like that forJefferson County Public Schools.
She didn't just go into a classand teach math.
(13:49):
She saw something that could bedifferent.
Delbert (13:52):
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's so beautiful.
What a beautiful way to liveyour life.
full force.
Just I see it as just livingyour life and always pushing
forward and full force.
Yeah.
And so we just wanted to talk toyou pods about this today so we
(14:13):
could tell you, go for it.
Go for it.
Live your life in full force.
Become extraordinary, and thinkabout the obstacles that are in
your way right now.
could actually be a possibilitythat are actually maybe just an
opportunity waiting for you toopen it up and go at it full
force.
(14:34):
Run towards it.
Hess (14:35):
And that's the way positive change happens.
And it's good for, it's good formore than just you.
It's good for a lot of peoplewhen you see something that
could be made better.
Yeah, and so it was Delbert.
I called Colleen.
Colleen was the manager of ourbasketball team, and seeing
where Colleen is now in herlife, it makes so much sense
(14:58):
that as a high school student,she became the manager of our
state basketball team becauseshe's just so businesslike and
just this,
Delbert (15:07):
so organized.
Yeah.
Hess (15:09):
Organized.
It was so fun hearing about herlife.
I wanted to know more about hermom and more about Colleen's
life.
And she said her mom, they, thatthere, there needed to be a book
written.
There's so many, there's so manyMaureen's, Maureen Iss that,
that her mom would say.
And I was like tell me some ofthem.
And she says one of'em is like,when you say something, she'd
(15:30):
say, I hear ya.
And and she said she'd say thatto us so much.
We go and then what?
I hear you.
And then what, and you said youraunt Katie says, I hear you.
And
Delbert (15:44):
yes.
From
Hess (15:45):
maybe she got.
Delbert (15:46):
She says it.
And I never said anythingafterwards because I was just so
glad to be heard.
So that's how business likeColleen is.
She just wants to know the nextstep, and I'm just satisfied
knowing.
Oh, good.
I'm heard.
Oh, that's good enough for me.
Okay.
I
Hess (16:01):
Yeah but just your Aunt Katie and hey Aunt Katie.
I know you listen to these thatAunt Katie picked up from the
work she did
Delbert (16:09):
Oh yeah.
Hess (16:10):
that
Delbert (16:10):
yeah,
Hess (16:10):
passed that on.
She says, you.
Delbert (16:13):
Yeah.
She says it to me.
I hear you.
And and I say it to people too,so it just spreads like wild f
goodness, fire,
Hess (16:21):
Yeah,
Delbert (16:22):
not a wild flower, but it could spread like a wild
flower.
Hess (16:25):
let's say that it spreads more like a wild flower than a.
Delbert (16:28):
Fire.
Fire.
Yeah.
That's even we made up a newsaying.
It's better.
But yeah, I say it too because Ido think it's important that
people know that they're heardand I guess the next step is
just whatever life presents us,I'll help you tackle it
together.
We're just human beings helpingeach other out.
(16:48):
the
Hess (16:48):
Yeah.
Delbert (16:49):
and we say this all the time, just doing the next right
thing, the next right thing.
Hess (16:54):
Yeah.
Even though it might be tough,and then sometimes you gotta
feel the fear and then you gottarun towards your fear, run
towards that van, run towards.
Delbert (17:04):
Towards that family counseling, because what'll keep
you together.
And think about, Ms.
Walker, I think about, shereminds me so much of my
great-grandmother, Susie, andno, but we didn't call her mama
or grandmother or anything.
We just called her Susie.
Boom, she ran things.
And back in the 1930s when mygreat-grandfather died the
(17:24):
priest came to her house andtold her she could not raise
four children on her own, thatshe needed to let him take'em
to.
An orphanage and Susie
Hess (17:35):
Okay,
Delbert (17:35):
Yeah.
Hess (17:36):
on.
Hold on a second.
This is a really importantstory.
Listen up.
So your great-grandmother's nameis Susie, and she's such a
force, y'all called her Susieand her children.
She lost her husband.
How did she lose her husband?
Delbert (17:50):
Harry, he just had some kind of congenital heart,
condition that they didn't knowabout.
And he was a meter reader for LGand e, that's our local power
company, Louisville Gas andElectric.
And he was just out working oneday.
And and he had a heart attackand died, at work just
unexpectedly.
And she so profoundly sad.
(18:10):
They were very in love and Susiewas very sad.
When the priest came to herhouse and told her that her kids
had to go to an orphanage, shetold'em to get out.
And she held onto those kidstight.
And it just reminds me so muchof Ms.
Walker, she just, said, this maybe the norm, but it's not my
norm.
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna do whatI know and my heart is right,
(18:33):
not what people are telling meto do.
But when I know my heart isright, I'm gonna hold onto these
children, I'm gonna work, I'mgonna make it work somehow.
And she took in laundry and shecleaned houses and eventually I
think she got a job at eitherBrown Foreman or Reynolds
Tobacco.
I think she worked at both, butI can't remember which factory
(18:54):
job she got.
That was a breakthrough.
Got made more money come in forthem once the Little older, but,
and.
She was just that strong forcethat reminded us, keep your
family tight, keep it tight,Have to do to keep everybody.
(19:16):
And I always think, when I thinkabout that story, I think about,
if my grandmother had not grownup with that strong sense of
self, how different my lifewould be.
I, she used to say, for thegrace of God, go, I, and I think
I said that yesterday or lastweek, about our friend Mary
(19:36):
Grace.
They're for the grace Go.
I, yes.
Strong role models.
So important to hold onto them,hold onto those lessons and be
the force in life that, thatthey were.
Hess (19:50):
Amen to all that.
Delbert.
Amen to your great-grandmother,Susie.
So awesome.
A, as I'm looking at Maureen'sobituary she went on to get
trained in, at GeorgetownUniversity in DC and became a
clinical member of the AmericanAssociation for Marriage and
(20:11):
Family Therapy, and she became aKentucky Board Certified
Marriage and Family Therapist,and her license number was
seven.
She was the seventh.
Delbert (20:22):
Oh wow.
Hess (20:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then she retired from publicschool teaching and opened her
own private practice WalkerCounseling services, and she
served the Louisville communityfor more than 40 years, and she
became, her office, became arefuge and a healing, and a, in
growth for individuals, couplesand family, families, navigating
(20:44):
their deepest struggles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she took her ability to help.
Others access their innerstrength.
And it was her being, her beliefthat healing is always possible.
So then that spreads, and I'vedone it in the same, in same in
(21:04):
my practice.
Delbert, I'm like.
I telling my couples like allthe positives, and that
sometimes I'm the only oneholding that and I'm the only
one seeing that.
'cause they're like in a trenchand they're reactive.
I up here and I say, okay, thisis what I see.
And I hold the best things ofboth of them and how they are
together.
Sometimes I just hold that andwhen they can't see it.
(21:29):
Yeah.
Delbert (21:29):
You're running down in the trench showing'em what they
got.
That's right.
You're running towards it
Hess (21:34):
Yeah.
Uhhuh.
Uhhuh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So something that was on the,you went to the service and on
the program was the rules ofbeing human.
This is one of the many articlesthat Maureen would share with
everybody.
(21:55):
So these are 11 rules for beinghuman, and it was written by
Robert Lewis house.
And so this was something thatwas important enough that
Maureen always went back to it,that they thought it was
important to put on the programfor her funeral.
And the first one, let's read'em, Delbert.
(22:15):
That sound good?
Delbert (22:16):
Let's do
Hess (22:17):
11.
Okay,
Delbert (22:17):
love that there's not 10.
I love that there's 11.
Hess (22:21):
11 rules of being human.
Number one, you will receive abody.
You may like it or hate it, butit will be yours for this entire
period, this time around.
Delbert (22:36):
Number two, you will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-timeinformal school called Life.
Each day in this school, youwill have the opportunity to
learn lessons.
You may like the lessons or youmay think them irreverent and
stupid.
Hess (22:54):
Number three, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial anderror Experimentation.
The failed experiments are asmuch a part of this process as
the experiment that ultimatelyworks.
Delbert (23:16):
Number four, a lesson is repeated until learned.
Boy, ain't that the truth.
A lesson will be presented toyou in various forms, until you
learn it and when you've learnedit, you'll go on to the next
lesson.
Hess (23:37):
Number five, learning lessons does not end.
There is no part of life thatdoes not contain its lessons.
If you are alive, there arelessons to be learned.
Delbert (23:49):
Amen.
Keep learning.
There is no better than here.
When your there has become here,will simply obtain another there
and that will again look better.
Than here.
Hess (24:06):
Grass is always greener, right?
Delbert (24:08):
Oh yeah.
Hess (24:09):
Number seven, others are merely mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hatesomething about another person
unless it reflects something youlove or hate about yourself.
Delbert (24:23):
a good one.
Number eight, what you make oflife is up to you.
You have all the tools andresources you need.
What you do with them is up toyou.
The choice is yours,
Hess (24:39):
Number nine.
Your answers lie inside you.
The answers to life's questionslie inside you.
All you need to do is look,listen, and trust.
Delbert (24:54):
number 10.
You will forget all of this.
Must be the questions they giveyou in heaven right before
you're born.
Hess (25:06):
Number 11.
You can remember it whenever youwant.
Delbert (25:11):
Yeah.
Awesome.
Love it.
Hess (25:14):
Yeah,
Delbert (25:15):
it.
Yeah.
That was a very emotional dayfor me.
And Colleen and Shannon, ifyou're listening, such a
beautiful job.
They wrote letters to their momsthat they, to their mom that
they read, and we love you.
We love you both.
Hess (25:28):
Yeah.
Pretty crowded.
Church dolbert.
Delbert (25:31):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Hess (25:34):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:35):
Epiphany, the church that Father Flynn started.
Hess (25:38):
Oh yeah.
Delbert (25:40):
It's all, it's a beautiful.
Glass, church all, and you canjust see nature all around you
when you're in this church.
You're just surrounded bynature.
And they found the land for thatchurch on the Feast of the
Epiphany, just the Louisvillehistory for you.
Okay.
Hess (25:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got a quote, Delbert, and it's
Delbert (26:00):
Good.
Hess (26:01):
it's I took it from the Maria Shriver Sunday page this
morning and I thought, okay,this is good.
It's by Emily Dickinson.
Delbert (26:11):
I love her.
Hess (26:12):
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the
soul and sings the tune withoutthe words and never stops at
all.
Delbert (26:24):
Whoa.
Hess (26:27):
Yeah,
Delbert (26:27):
That's a great one.
That's a great one.
Friends, we love you and we wantyou to
Hess (26:35):
and.
Delbert (26:35):
this week extraordinary.
Go out there and be the best youcan be.
Just face everything full onfull force.
Hess (26:43):
Run towards it.
Run towards it.
We love you, peace and love andtalk to y'all next week.
Delbert (26:51):
Peace and love.
Hey, thank you so much for joining us to, let me tell you
this about that.
My name is Hess.
I'm in Lexington, Kentucky,sitting in a white chair at my
bedroom window.
Looking out the window, Delbert,and it's a, it's like a blue
sky.
With little soft white cloudsand there's more faint of green.
(00:22):
The green's a little strongerbecause Thursday morning we had
a nice rain all morning long.
It had been like six weeks sincewe'd had rain, and so things are
starting to green up a littlemore.
That's where I am Delbert.
Delbert (00:36):
Good morning podsters.
I'm as always on the green couchlooking out the big picture
window.
And this morning when I woke up,it was little gray overcast here
in Louisville, Kentucky, and Iwent and put my coffee on and.
I came back out to look, therewas a little bit of pink and
purple shining through littleswirl coming out, and now it is
(00:59):
a, it's gray and blue, butthere's patches of that
beautiful golden sunshinethrough.
So there's the weather forecastfrom Louisville, Kentucky, the
unofficial.
I think it's gonna be a greatday and as I say, I always think
it's gonna be a great day today,we had a life event again with a
friend from Sacred HeartAcademy.
(01:20):
One of our friends that was partof the 1976 basketball team
Colleen Walker was the managerher mom passed.
This past week, and I wasfortunate.
I, she was my cheerleading coachat Sacred Heart and I got to to
her funeral.
I knew Colleen, she was theclass behind us and she's also
(01:41):
worked with me in real estate.
And then her younger sister,Shannon, was in my sister
Carole's class at Sacred Heart.
Just this, an extraordinarywoman that was her mother,
Maureen Walker.
Many people and Louisville knowher.
She was a.
A therapist, family counselorfor many years, but also before
that, a teacher mathematics.
(02:03):
She also helped form thecurriculum for Jefferson County
Public Schools for mathematics.
She just had a brilliant mindand I think one of the things I
said to Colleen was, she was aRenaissance woman.
She was just this incredibleperson.
So today, talking about ordinarypeople extraordinary things.
(02:23):
Is Our inspiration and thenimportant your job is, has,
you're being a therapist, acounselor, psychologist,
psychiatrist, that how importantroles are in our lives.
Hess (02:40):
Yeah, so ordinary people doing.
Doing really positive thingsthat, that Colleen said they
wouldn't go anywhere inLouisville.
They'd be at Cunningham'srestaurant and people would come
up and say, Maureen, you savedmy life.
Maureen.
You saved our family.
And what I just I dove in.
(03:04):
Delbert in, in, in Mor Maureen'sobituary.
It says that she was born in 37,married in 58, and in 1970 she
was divorced.
And in getting divorced in theCatholic church was not common.
My parents divorced like in1974.
I didn't know anybody else in myclass whose parents were
(03:26):
divorced, but Maureen, she hadthe courage and she forged a new
path for herself and her twodaughters who survive her and.
She forged this new, forged thispath.
She was an educator.
She was into music.
She was a gifted teacher,natural leader.
And when she was workingDelbert, when she would work
(03:48):
with students, she would seethat something's going on.
They're coming from some kind ofhome.
And this child that's in herclass, this child that's in
front of her, this student, shewould know that things aren't
well, things aren't good.
This in this student's life,which makes this student show up
in this way.
Just like you with food.
(04:09):
If a child doesn't have food intheir stomach, how are they
gonna study?
If a child has chaos in theirhome how can they study?
She went back to school and sheended up getting, going into a
certain type of.
Therapy work and which was theBowen Family System theory.
She was schooled and educated inGeorgetown outside Washington DC
(04:35):
and she studied this BowenFamily Systems theory, which
would help strengthen this wholefamily and help the dynamics.
It just wasn't this one studentthat needed things thrown at
them.
It was changing things in theirhome and new dynamics in the
home.
So it was amazing what all shedid and Delbert when we were
(04:59):
talking earlier, it's kind likeyou go along in your life.
And then you see a need thatneeds to be filled, and then you
take some steps towards that andtake some more steps forward.
And then you're on this new pathwhere you're gonna do something
and help somebody.
Delbert (05:17):
It is she noticed a need in her students when she
was teaching high school andjust did a deeper dive into
that.
And educated herself this.
I think it's so interesting Ilooked up the Bowen Family
Center and that's wherecontributions go in memory of
Maureen because she justbelieves so much in it.
(05:39):
the Bowen Center for the Studyof Family.
And it's a whole theory thatthis Dr.
Murray Bowen developed.
And it is about the family as anemotional unit.
So it's about the whole thing.
When something, and we all knowthat when something affects one
of us, it affects all of us.
Sometimes there's this personthat's controlling things in the
(06:00):
family because of whatever'sgoing on with them and how do we
stay together, support thatperson and continue to be a good
functioning unit,
Hess (06:10):
yeah it goes in and finds where the unhealthy dynamics
are.
Delbert (06:14):
right,
Hess (06:15):
and helps that which then can Ali eliminate any of that
triangulation that can go on.
And so you get a healthier, moreopen communication and all the
relationship there in thefamily.
Delbert (06:29):
So always teaching her whole life.
I'll tell you.
A funny story about how I mether and she was just this force,
right?
She was just a force of nature.
She probably would've been aconcert, performer, she was such
a great musician and played thepiano her whole life.
And walked to school every dayin Portland.
(06:52):
That's a neighborhood inLouisville, down by the river.
And played the organ at St.
Cecilia's Church every day.
Which I can just see her doingthat.
She was such a force of nature.
But Sacred Heart, we never had acheerleading coach.
Like the teams all had a coachand it was always Bunny, right?
Bunny Doherty coachedeverything, at Sacred Heart, but
we did our own thing.
(07:13):
We were just like.
We would make up our cheers and,and so when it came time for a
pompom routine that year, 19 75,76 season, we did our pompom
routine to ZZ tops looking forsome tush and we premiered it
Trinity High School Gym AgainstAssumption, our Arch Rival
(07:34):
Assumption High School.
and we've got our backspace inthe.
The audience, and that songcomes on and we're like shaking
our booties.
And I remember all the nuns cameto the really big games, so
they're all sitting in the frontand they're like, I think they
need a cheerleading coach.
Yeah.
Yes.
And so she came in she did it.
(07:56):
She coached the JV and thevarsity.
'cause her youngest daughter,Shannon, was on the JV just came
in and completely transformedus.
We went from being a ragtagbunch to, she had us, won
district, then we went toregional.
We came in second in regional,so we didn't get to go to state,
(08:16):
but that we just transformed.
She had us doing double sessionsand being really precision and
straight and, and she justwhipped us into shape.
So she was just such a force ofnature.
She took us from, looking forsome tush to the way to come and
run her up in regionals.
And I just, and so from thatrelationship, every time I saw
(08:37):
her I always she'd be in arestaurant.
I would just go up and say, Hey,Ms.
Walker, how are you?
She was, you were just attractedto her.
And my Aunt Katie, when she gotdivorced, went to Maureen as the
counselor.
And she, we sat together inchurch at her funeral and Katie
said, she saved my life.
(08:58):
I'm sitting here in church andtelling you she saved my life.
Hess (09:03):
Wow.
Delbert (09:04):
what an incredible.
Incredible person and we'retelling you this story pods
'cause we wanna inspire you tothe most extraordinary person
that you can be.
Whatever life throws you, thinkabout how you can transform it,
Hess (09:20):
When you see a need run to it.
Delbert (09:22):
right?
Run.
Hess (09:23):
Yeah.
And it's because of what you'vegone through, that you are gonna
feel the energy that somethingneeds to happen here.
So I'll speak for myself.
Delbert, a child of divorce.
I think my mom might, you mightsay she's even still bitter that
she's, that my dad divorced herup to this day.
(09:46):
And.
I was in something that happenedto me.
Something happened to mecomparable to that a separation
and a child was involved and itreally hurt me so much that a
child was put in this situation.
So I went back to school at 36.
I thought to myself, I wannahelp couples so that children
(10:07):
don't get put in the middle.
So it's because of somethingthat happened to me that made me
wanna run towards what can I doto help other people?
We had a, we had a boarder atthe farm here.
Joanne Bell, one of the smartestpeople I know I've ever met,
she'd read about sevennewspapers a day.
She was a professor of socialwork at uk and she said, let's
(10:28):
sit down and let's talk.
And then she asked me like, whatdo you see you wanna do?
And I told her, I said, I wannasee myself working with couples
so that kids don't get put inthe middle of relationship
problems.
And she says, okay.
And she said I think going.
To the Master's of Social Workprogram would be the quickest
way for you to get there andthat, and so then I went and
(10:50):
applied for a Master's of socialwork and got in and finished
that.
And then you can study what youneed to study to fine tune your
skills.
But yeah.
And so that's what I, that'swhat I got into.
And'cause I saw a need.
And Delbert, you told me a storythe other day, if you wouldn't
mind me repeating.
Is that because of what you wentthrough with your sister in the
(11:13):
accident?
You, you were in a car with yournephew, Jonathan
Delbert (11:17):
No Christopher
Hess (11:19):
Christopher.
Excuse me.
Delbert (11:20):
That's.
Hess (11:20):
Yeah.
Christopher, you were in the carwith Christopher Carole's son,
and you were driving along theroad, you saw a van down in the
gully all flipped over downthere and Christopher looked at
you and what did he say?
Delbert (11:34):
He said, us being who we are and what we've been
through he said, we've gotta,we've gotta get out and towards
that.
Hess (11:42):
Yeah.
Delbert (11:42):
you're right.
And we parked, pulled the carover and and we had a pizza too.
So we knew our pizza was gonnaget cold.
We got out.
And towards the van and it wasempty, and we were so relieved
that was just a vacant car thathad an accident and the people
were safe.
But I just thought how brave hewas to remind me you run towards
(12:05):
it.
Don't run away from it.
Run words that when you can be ahelper.
Don't put yourself in harm'sway, but you've gotta be.
Ready to run towards your fears,right?
The things that scare you themost.
Car accidents give me trauma nomatter if they're just minor or
(12:26):
major, because that's how CarolMeghan passed.
I have to be willing to facethat and run towards it And and
then, just carrying out Carole'smission.
To feed people.
She was passionate about beingfamilies, being around the table
and not all families arefortunate enough to be around
the table.
Like Ms.
Walker kept her girls tight, shekept them around the table.
(12:49):
And I try to do that with mydarlings and my children and my
son-in-law.
Keep'em tight, keep'em aroundthe table, but out to other
people and try to help them stayaround the table.
Hess (13:04):
So it, it seems like that's how ordinary people do
un-ordinary things and movetowards the greatness.
Just one little step at a timewhere you see a need and in
Maureen's life how she said fromevery little step with some
adaptation to seeing somethingthat needed to be done.
(13:28):
And she do it.
And then she'd do that well, andthen she'd see the next thing
that would need to be done.
When she taught math she createdthe whole system that
mathematics was the wholemathematics structure or
something like that forJefferson County Public Schools.
She didn't just go into a classand teach math.
(13:49):
She saw something that could bedifferent.
Delbert (13:52):
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's so beautiful.
What a beautiful way to liveyour life.
full force.
Just I see it as just livingyour life and always pushing
forward and full force.
Yeah.
And so we just wanted to talk toyou pods about this today so we
(14:13):
could tell you, go for it.
Go for it.
Live your life in full force.
Become extraordinary, and thinkabout the obstacles that are in
your way right now.
could actually be a possibilitythat are actually maybe just an
opportunity waiting for you toopen it up and go at it full
force.
(14:34):
Run towards it.
Hess (14:35):
And that's the way positive change happens.
And it's good for, it's good formore than just you.
It's good for a lot of peoplewhen you see something that
could be made better.
Yeah, and so it was Delbert.
I called Colleen.
Colleen was the manager of ourbasketball team, and seeing
where Colleen is now in herlife, it makes so much sense
(14:58):
that as a high school student,she became the manager of our
state basketball team becauseshe's just so businesslike and
just this,
Delbert (15:07):
so organized.
Yeah.
Hess (15:09):
Organized.
It was so fun hearing about herlife.
I wanted to know more about hermom and more about Colleen's
life.
And she said her mom, they, thatthere, there needed to be a book
written.
There's so many, there's so manyMaureen's, Maureen Iss that,
that her mom would say.
And I was like tell me some ofthem.
And she says one of'em is like,when you say something, she'd
(15:30):
say, I hear ya.
And and she said she'd say thatto us so much.
We go and then what?
I hear you.
And then what, and you said youraunt Katie says, I hear you.
And
Delbert (15:44):
yes.
From
Hess (15:45):
maybe she got.
Delbert (15:46):
She says it.
And I never said anythingafterwards because I was just so
glad to be heard.
So that's how business likeColleen is.
She just wants to know the nextstep, and I'm just satisfied
knowing.
Oh, good.
I'm heard.
Oh, that's good enough for me.
Okay.
I
Hess (16:01):
Yeah but just your Aunt Katie and hey Aunt Katie.
I know you listen to these thatAunt Katie picked up from the
work she did
Delbert (16:09):
Oh yeah.
Hess (16:10):
that
Delbert (16:10):
yeah,
Hess (16:10):
passed that on.
She says, you.
Delbert (16:13):
Yeah.
She says it to me.
I hear you.
And and I say it to people too,so it just spreads like wild f
goodness, fire,
Hess (16:21):
Yeah,
Delbert (16:22):
not a wild flower, but it could spread like a wild
flower.
Hess (16:25):
let's say that it spreads more like a wild flower than a.
Delbert (16:28):
Fire.
Fire.
Yeah.
That's even we made up a newsaying.
It's better.
But yeah, I say it too because Ido think it's important that
people know that they're heardand I guess the next step is
just whatever life presents us,I'll help you tackle it
together.
We're just human beings helpingeach other out.
(16:48):
the
Hess (16:48):
Yeah.
Delbert (16:49):
and we say this all the time, just doing the next right
thing, the next right thing.
Hess (16:54):
Yeah.
Even though it might be tough,and then sometimes you gotta
feel the fear and then you gottarun towards your fear, run
towards that van, run towards.
Delbert (17:04):
Towards that family counseling, because what'll keep
you together.
And think about, Ms.
Walker, I think about, shereminds me so much of my
great-grandmother, Susie, andno, but we didn't call her mama
or grandmother or anything.
We just called her Susie.
Boom, she ran things.
And back in the 1930s when mygreat-grandfather died the
(17:24):
priest came to her house andtold her she could not raise
four children on her own, thatshe needed to let him take'em
to.
An orphanage and Susie
Hess (17:35):
Okay,
Delbert (17:35):
Yeah.
Hess (17:36):
on.
Hold on a second.
This is a really importantstory.
Listen up.
So your great-grandmother's nameis Susie, and she's such a
force, y'all called her Susieand her children.
She lost her husband.
How did she lose her husband?
Delbert (17:50):
Harry, he just had some kind of congenital heart,
condition that they didn't knowabout.
And he was a meter reader for LGand e, that's our local power
company, Louisville Gas andElectric.
And he was just out working oneday.
And and he had a heart attackand died, at work just
unexpectedly.
And she so profoundly sad.
(18:10):
They were very in love and Susiewas very sad.
When the priest came to herhouse and told her that her kids
had to go to an orphanage, shetold'em to get out.
And she held onto those kidstight.
And it just reminds me so muchof Ms.
Walker, she just, said, this maybe the norm, but it's not my
norm.
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna do whatI know and my heart is right,
(18:33):
not what people are telling meto do.
But when I know my heart isright, I'm gonna hold onto these
children, I'm gonna work, I'mgonna make it work somehow.
And she took in laundry and shecleaned houses and eventually I
think she got a job at eitherBrown Foreman or Reynolds
Tobacco.
I think she worked at both, butI can't remember which factory
(18:54):
job she got.
That was a breakthrough.
Got made more money come in forthem once the Little older, but,
and.
She was just that strong forcethat reminded us, keep your
family tight, keep it tight,Have to do to keep everybody.
(19:16):
And I always think, when I thinkabout that story, I think about,
if my grandmother had not grownup with that strong sense of
self, how different my lifewould be.
I, she used to say, for thegrace of God, go, I, and I think
I said that yesterday or lastweek, about our friend Mary
(19:36):
Grace.
They're for the grace Go.
I, yes.
Strong role models.
So important to hold onto them,hold onto those lessons and be
the force in life that, thatthey were.
Hess (19:50):
Amen to all that.
Delbert.
Amen to your great-grandmother,Susie.
So awesome.
A, as I'm looking at Maureen'sobituary she went on to get
trained in, at GeorgetownUniversity in DC and became a
clinical member of the AmericanAssociation for Marriage and
(20:11):
Family Therapy, and she became aKentucky Board Certified
Marriage and Family Therapist,and her license number was
seven.
She was the seventh.
Delbert (20:22):
Oh wow.
Hess (20:23):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then she retired from publicschool teaching and opened her
own private practice WalkerCounseling services, and she
served the Louisville communityfor more than 40 years, and she
became, her office, became arefuge and a healing, and a, in
growth for individuals, couplesand family, families, navigating
(20:44):
their deepest struggles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she took her ability to help.
Others access their innerstrength.
And it was her being, her beliefthat healing is always possible.
So then that spreads, and I'vedone it in the same, in same in
(21:04):
my practice.
Delbert, I'm like.
I telling my couples like allthe positives, and that
sometimes I'm the only oneholding that and I'm the only
one seeing that.
'cause they're like in a trenchand they're reactive.
I up here and I say, okay, thisis what I see.
And I hold the best things ofboth of them and how they are
together.
Sometimes I just hold that andwhen they can't see it.
(21:29):
Yeah.
Delbert (21:29):
You're running down in the trench showing'em what they
got.
That's right.
You're running towards it
Hess (21:34):
Yeah.
Uhhuh.
Uhhuh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So something that was on the,you went to the service and on
the program was the rules ofbeing human.
This is one of the many articlesthat Maureen would share with
everybody.
(21:55):
So these are 11 rules for beinghuman, and it was written by
Robert Lewis house.
And so this was something thatwas important enough that
Maureen always went back to it,that they thought it was
important to put on the programfor her funeral.
And the first one, let's read'em, Delbert.
(22:15):
That sound good?
Delbert (22:16):
Let's do
Hess (22:17):
11.
Okay,
Delbert (22:17):
love that there's not 10.
I love that there's 11.
Hess (22:21):
11 rules of being human.
Number one, you will receive abody.
You may like it or hate it, butit will be yours for this entire
period, this time around.
Delbert (22:36):
Number two, you will learn lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-timeinformal school called Life.
Each day in this school, youwill have the opportunity to
learn lessons.
You may like the lessons or youmay think them irreverent and
stupid.
Hess (22:54):
Number three, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of trial anderror Experimentation.
The failed experiments are asmuch a part of this process as
the experiment that ultimatelyworks.
Delbert (23:16):
Number four, a lesson is repeated until learned.
Boy, ain't that the truth.
A lesson will be presented toyou in various forms, until you
learn it and when you've learnedit, you'll go on to the next
lesson.
Hess (23:37):
Number five, learning lessons does not end.
There is no part of life thatdoes not contain its lessons.
If you are alive, there arelessons to be learned.
Delbert (23:49):
Amen.
Keep learning.
There is no better than here.
When your there has become here,will simply obtain another there
and that will again look better.
Than here.
Hess (24:06):
Grass is always greener, right?
Delbert (24:08):
Oh yeah.
Hess (24:09):
Number seven, others are merely mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hatesomething about another person
unless it reflects something youlove or hate about yourself.
Delbert (24:23):
a good one.
Number eight, what you make oflife is up to you.
You have all the tools andresources you need.
What you do with them is up toyou.
The choice is yours,
Hess (24:39):
Number nine.
Your answers lie inside you.
The answers to life's questionslie inside you.
All you need to do is look,listen, and trust.
Delbert (24:54):
number 10.
You will forget all of this.
Must be the questions they giveyou in heaven right before
you're born.
Hess (25:06):
Number 11.
You can remember it whenever youwant.
Delbert (25:11):
Yeah.
Awesome.
Love it.
Hess (25:14):
Yeah,
Delbert (25:15):
it.
Yeah.
That was a very emotional dayfor me.
And Colleen and Shannon, ifyou're listening, such a
beautiful job.
They wrote letters to their momsthat they, to their mom that
they read, and we love you.
We love you both.
Hess (25:28):
Yeah.
Pretty crowded.
Church dolbert.
Delbert (25:31):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Hess (25:34):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:35):
Epiphany, the church that Father Flynn started.
Hess (25:38):
Oh yeah.
Delbert (25:40):
It's all, it's a beautiful.
Glass, church all, and you canjust see nature all around you
when you're in this church.
You're just surrounded bynature.
And they found the land for thatchurch on the Feast of the
Epiphany, just the Louisvillehistory for you.
Okay.
Hess (25:56):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got a quote, Delbert, and it's
Delbert (26:00):
Good.
Hess (26:01):
it's I took it from the Maria Shriver Sunday page this
morning and I thought, okay,this is good.
It's by Emily Dickinson.
Delbert (26:11):
I love her.
Hess (26:12):
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the
soul and sings the tune withoutthe words and never stops at
all.
Delbert (26:24):
Whoa.
Hess (26:27):
Yeah,
Delbert (26:27):
That's a great one.
That's a great one.
Friends, we love you and we wantyou to
Hess (26:35):
and.
Delbert (26:35):
this week extraordinary.
Go out there and be the best youcan be.
Just face everything full onfull force.
Hess (26:43):
Run towards it.
Run towards it.
We love you, peace and love andtalk to y'all next week.
Delbert (26:51):
Peace and love.
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