September 14, 2025 • 23 mins
Unity—We are all in this together Our 48th podcast!
It’s been a week where hard things have happened. Delbert and Hess want to do a U-Turn like we talked about last week, and to move into Unity—. We are better when we cross the bridge into the other’s world. Put good energy and love out there. Be the sparkles on the wall—like Hess has her window covering that the light reflects rainbow colors on the wall—like Delbert’s sandals with shiny crystals that reflected sparkles around the house she was showing—Do your best to put some good energy and love out there! You will feel better in that space! It is all of us individually—in our differences that make life the wonderful place that it is. See it and be it! Thanks for listening. Give us a like, give us a review, and share this with your friends.
I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. This week José received radiation in his lower spine every day. We are awaiting the next CT Scans. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Welcome everybody to let me tell you this about that.
My name's Hess and I'm sittinghere on the farm and Delbert,
I'm not in my white chair in thebedroom.
In my office was, is the roomnext door, which is on the east
side of the house.
So I have the sun, it's a littlebit higher up in the sky this
(00:21):
morning when we're talking.
It's a little higher in the sky.
And I have these arch windowsand these, the, I have this
stuff covering the windows sothat when the sun comes up,
comes through there, it makesrainbows on the wall.
So I'm sitting here at my deskwith rainbows on the wall next
to me, and it's just.
(00:42):
Beautiful.
We need more rain.
We need more rain.
So do rain dances.
It's after Labor Day, Delbert,so the pools are closed.
We can have more rain now.
Okay.
Delbert (00:51):
All right.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I'm so sad about the poolsbeing closed, but I'm Delbert as
always on the green couch,looking out the big picture
window.
It's another beautiful day inLouisville, Kentucky.
There's your unofficial weatherforecast.
Talking about prisms andrainbows.
You know how I love sparklyshoes?
And I was showing a houseyesterday and I had my sparkly
(01:13):
sandals on, and we walked intothis room and just a million
prisms like lit up on the wall.
And the people like, whoa.
And I'm like we're having a, anexperience.
she's what is that?
And I'm like, it's my shoes.
And they just burst outlaughing.
But anyway, it was special.
It was very special.
Hess (01:33):
Your shoes made the sparkles on the wall, just the
light shining off your shoescoming through the window.
Delbert (01:40):
Uhhuh.
Uhhuh.
Hess (01:42):
That is cool that they, that probably made'em enjoy that
house even more.
Delbert (01:48):
Yeah.
Hey, it might have sold it, Idon't know.
Today Hess
Hess (01:57):
What do.
Delbert (01:57):
talking.
We're gonna talk about unitytoday because boy, do we need
it, right?
I've had to take a little breakfrom social media, I wanna
encourage Podsters.
If you go on, let's try to sharethings that are positive, like
nature or son's soccer score orwhatever it is, music, things
(02:21):
that bring us together a goodrecipe, whatever.
Let's, let's take a break frombeing divided.
Let's, we wanna talk about unitytoday because our country and
our world needs it so very bad.
Okay.
Hess (02:35):
We're more alike than not alike.
We're beautiful in each of ourindividual selves.
There you are, and who you are.
Adds so much to this world andmakes this, that's what makes
Unity.
What go ahead and say what youwere saying about the candles.
People light at a wedding.
Delbert (02:55):
yeah.
When I think about Unity, Ialways think about a wedding.
When the two families, two, twopeople who belong to two
different families who may haveseparate views, separate
visions, they go up, and theylight two candles and they light
one.
A symbol of unity, a symbol of,and unity is not.
(03:16):
That we're all the same.
In Christianity, it's aboutbeing a one body in Christ
through shared faith, love, andpurpose.
Despite differences.
It's a state of deep harmony andfellowship interdependence among
believers.
The key aspects are humility,love, mutual care.
(03:44):
service and the pursuit ofpeace.
So whatever your religiousbeliefs are I know that those
are some, those are core thingsin every religion.
We just happen to be raisedCatholic.
I just wanted to go back to areal basic thing and talk about
how can we come together becausewe do all love our country.
(04:07):
We love it, and that's why we'regetting all up in a frenzy about
it because we love it.
But remember that freedom isgetting up every day and going
to work or going to whatever ouractivity is for the day.
And without fear.
(04:30):
We need to be fearless andremember that ordinary people.
Who refuse to give up are whatour country's built on, and in
every conflict what has savedour country.
Hess (04:46):
And it is all of our individual.
selves that, that contribute tothat country.
All of the differences it's abig pot of soup.
Delbert, I'm picturing a big potof vegetable soup and it just
doesn't taste like green beans.
It tastes like the melding ofall of the different tastes that
are in that soup.
Delbert (05:07):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Hess (05:10):
Yeah.
Delbert (05:11):
Share a vegetable soup recipe on social media Or stone
soup.
Remember the guy that came intotown and it was a scam, but
everybody came out and madesomething together and I think
it was the beginning of potluck.
Hess (05:31):
A Kentuckian poet.
Author who I really love.
He has a farm in Henry County,Kentucky that he farms using
livestock.
No tractors or anything.
He says, this belong to yourplace by the knowledge of the
(05:52):
others.
Who are your neighbors in it.
The old man, the sick and thepoor.
The heron who comes to fish inthe creek.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
So Unity come together with lovewith good intention, with like
(06:15):
in, let me tell you, let me tellyou this about that.
Can I do that Delbert?
Delbert (06:19):
Hess, that's what we're here to do, tell
Hess (06:21):
Yeah.
Delbert (06:22):
about that.
Hess (06:23):
I got interested in a type of relationship work I've been
trained in since 1999 now, andit's called Imago, and it was
called Imago because that's theLatin word for image.
That, that we're attracted to,who we're attracted to, because
we're attracted by familiarlove, by familiarity.
(06:43):
But then when we get into thisrelationship, instead of it
being in the first part of therelationship, it's symbiotic.
It's kind you're in love withyourself because you feel so
fully alive in the first part ofthe relationship, and then it
flips after there's acommitment.
You kinda go into this wait asecond, you put your protective
cage on because you realizeyou're being triggered that
(07:05):
there's this other that's in therelationship with you.
Okay?
Because, and that's really ahealthy relationship.
are two fully alive,differentiated people.
And it's in that relationship ofthe other that we really can get
better with ourself too, becausewe and Imago teaches you these
(07:26):
really beautiful ways.
One of them is the intentionaldialogue where you're crossing
the bridge into the otherperson's world and you just
suspend your world for a littlebit.
As you cross the bridge and theother person's the sender,
you're the receiver and youmirror back what the other
person says.
You set aside your reactivity,you set aside thinking that
(07:49):
you're at fault and so on, orblah, blah, blah, blah.
You're just.
Crossing the bridge to the otherperson's world and the other
person's perspective.
And it doesn't mean that youeliminate yours, you still have
yours.
It doesn't mean the otherperson's right you're wrong or
that you're right, they'rewrong.
It's just another point of view.
And that is, instead, it createsthis unity of the differences.
(08:15):
Of being able to have the sacredspace of the between.
I have goosebumps right now,Delbert when I'm talking about
it.
And my wife Cathy Dialogued withme when our son, Lucas, was like
two or three years old, she saidshe was the sender and across
the bridge in her world.
And she said, I know you raisedCatholic for 35 years.
(08:35):
And I just would like Lucas tobe exposed to other faith.
And I remember in schoolDelbert, we did have classes and
in, in our Catholic schools,discovering another faiths and
Delbert (08:48):
That's one of the things I loved about growing up
Catholic in the sixties andseventies is the nuns exposed us
to.
All sorts of faiths.
We learned a lot about theJewish faith because Jesus was
Jewish.
But in high school we learnedabout Buddhism, Hinduism, We
really took a deep dive and Ilove that part of our education
(09:11):
for sure.
Hess (09:12):
Anyway, back to this dialogue with Cathy.
It wasn't like all of a suddenwe were gonna choose a different
church, and she said, you don'thave to change.
You don't have to not beCatholic.
I just wanna expose Lucas tosomething else.
And that ended up leading us toa place of a mutual, church.
Church that we've attended nowfor 23 years, the Unitarian
(09:33):
Universalist Church.
And what's cool about that, as Iwas thinking about unity this
morning, is that.
It, you don't have to believeanything to belong the Unitarian
Universalist church.
You could be Christian, youcould be Jewish, you can be
agnostic, you can be so on, youcan be Buddhist and so on.
It's, everybody can belongbecause it's about community.
(09:55):
So the difference always is sobeautiful because it creates a
more interesting, beautifulcommunity.
Delbert (10:04):
That's
Hess (10:04):
That's what.
Delbert (10:05):
that.
Yeah.
And you love your church.
I love how much you love yourchurch.
That's beautiful.
Hess (10:11):
Yeah.
So it's about unity.
It's about the unity ofdifferences.
Yeah.
And yeah you all that, I want toencourage you with what Delbert
said, like how can you con, howcan you contribute just to, to
show us that we're more likethan not alike now, everybody.
Everybody loves good food.
Share that good recipe.
(10:32):
Everybody loves love.
Share some love.
Delbert (10:36):
Today I'm thinking about what happened in
Louisville this weekend isbourbon and beyond.
200,000 people come together tolisten to music.
Hess (10:44):
Oh my LANs.
And they had seven stages orsomething.
Delbert (10:48):
Yeah it's fantastic.
Yeah.
And it brings people from allover, they come together and
listen to all these bands andcelebrate all the things
Kentucky has to offer bourbonand beyond.
And brings a lot of commerce toLouisville.
And I'm just so proud.
(11:08):
And, it's been so beautiful andpeaceful.
The weather's been great.
Everybody's just out theredancing together.
They're not asking each otherwhat they believe or, they all
believe in the power of musicand the power of being together
and being united.
So it's just one instance that'shappened this weekend.
That's, it's uniting.
Hess (11:30):
I love that.
I love that example.
They're all listening to thesame beat, right?
Delbert (11:35):
absolutely.
Absolutely.
Hess (11:37):
So we always have in the background this beautiful beat
of the world and all themiracles that are going on and
the miracle of people andindividuals and to to just let
yourself see that.
Let yourself see that and bethat.
Love that a friend of mineposted on Facebook this morning,
Priscilla.
I see out there, baby.
(11:58):
She's doing yoga at the newGatten Park on the stage.
There a whole group of peopledoing yoga together.
Delbert (12:07):
See, and nobody's fighting.
And just like your imago, I'vegot a core group of friends who
we're probably evenly divided inour political affiliations and
the day.
After the election or maybe aweek or so after who voted a
different way came and spent thenight with me so they could
(12:29):
visit their parents that were inan assisted living.
And I just said, I just wannalisten to you.
I wanna listen to why you votedthe way you voted, Wanna hear
you.
I wanna hear you And understand.
Hess (12:41):
And so you listened, and then that friend listened to you
too, right?
Delbert (12:45):
Yeah.
And we didn't solve anythingexcept one person at a time
listening and understanding andsaying, even though we differ,
we're in the same boat together.
You row this way, I'll row thatway.
We'll get there, we'll getthere.
Hess (13:03):
Yes.
Delbert (13:04):
thinking about my mama and papa.
I talk about them a lot.
And I always talk about my greatgrandmother, Susie, who was so
powerful.
She ran the card table down inthe basement with all the men
and and everybody had adifferent, favorite card game,
right?
Some of them liked, five carddraw, some of them like seven
(13:25):
card stud, just.
But Susie mixed it up and shemade sure everybody's favorite
game got played.
So I'm thinking a lot about mygrandparents right now.
'Cause we've got, when you got abig family, you've got a lot of
people who believe differentthings or and I think we'd be
around the poker table playingeach other's favorite game and
(13:46):
having fellowship andcamaraderie that way with dinner
and Right,
Hess (13:52):
Since you're bringing up grandparents.
My grandmother, my dad's momalways said, don't say anything.
Don't say anything unless youhave something good to say about
somebody.
Delbert (14:04):
Clara?
Yeah.
Hess (14:06):
Yeah.
And that's my middle name,Jessica Claire.
Yeah don't say anything if youdon't have something good to
say.
Don't pollute the space.
Don't pollute the space.
Delbert (14:16):
And also I think when somebody's got a real difference
of opinion, I think sometimeswe're thinking so hard about
what we're gonna reply, we'renot fully listening right?
And Take a beat, take a minute.
Count to 10, take a deep breathand if ten's not long enough, do
it again.
(14:37):
Because think about what you'reputting out there in the
atmosphere.
you, when you put out good, youget good back.
And
Hess (14:48):
Oh.
Delbert (14:49):
it.
Hess (14:50):
Delbert.
That is the truth.
If you put good out there, youget good back.
If you put good out there, youget good back.
So like with this Imagodialogue, you're not, you don't
use the sender doesn't usecriticism or blame.
They're speaking from I, andthat receiver is just mirroring
back each thing that the personsays and then ask is there more?
(15:11):
And then after there's not more.
In this intentional dialogue,you say, let me see if I've got
you and you summarize what theother person says.
Did I get you, did I geteverything?
And the person says, yes.
Or they might think aboutsomething else that pops up,
they might add.
And then the next thing,Delbert, this is so important
'cause we all wanna be gotten,is Hey, your world makes sense
(15:34):
to me because you do avalidation and you just pick out
one thing that makes sense.
We all need that.
We all wanna feel like we makesense.
And then the last part of thisintentional dialogue is I can
imagine all that might make youfeel and you come up with
whatever feelings the otherperson might have had.
(15:55):
And then after you name'em all,you say, did I miss any?
Did I get any wrong?
And the other person could fillin what you missed.
And the other person says, it'sjust like walking through
Hawaiian waterfall.
The other person feels like, oh,somebody got me.
Somebody really listened.
You got yeah.
Delbert (16:11):
wants to be listened to.
Everybody wants to be caredabout, and everybody wants to
belong, right?
We
Hess (16:19):
Everybody.
Delbert (16:20):
I'm thinking about what you just said about don't
pollute the air.
Don't put those bad vibes outthere.
Put out good Pods.
I hope that you live your lifegoing forward this week without
fear, with love, compassion,understanding, and do your best
to understand what people whodon't think.
(16:46):
like you think.
Let's try to understand eachother.
Oh, just had to think for asecond about Kentucky state
emblem.
It says, United, we stand,divided we fall just in that
category.
Hess (17:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And more common wealth, right?
Delbert (17:04):
Yeah.
Hess (17:04):
The common, the wealth of the community is what I wanna
say.
Delbert (17:08):
yes.
When we all do well, we all dowell, right?
Hess (17:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
So y'all, our pod, it helps usput something out there in the
world, these conversations.
Delbert, again, thank you somuch.
I feel good to start my week offwith our conversation and I love
it.
I love you and I love you podsfor listening to us.
(17:33):
We just wanna lift you up.
Delbert (17:36):
Be the best you can be.
And you know what?
you friends.
Peace and love.
Hess (17:43):
Peace and love.
Welcome everybody to let me tell you this about that.
My name's Hess and I'm sittinghere on the farm and Delbert,
I'm not in my white chair in thebedroom.
In my office was, is the roomnext door, which is on the east
side of the house.
So I have the sun, it's a littlebit higher up in the sky this
(00:21):
morning when we're talking.
It's a little higher in the sky.
And I have these arch windowsand these, the, I have this
stuff covering the windows sothat when the sun comes up,
comes through there, it makesrainbows on the wall.
So I'm sitting here at my deskwith rainbows on the wall next
to me, and it's just.
(00:42):
Beautiful.
We need more rain.
We need more rain.
So do rain dances.
It's after Labor Day, Delbert,so the pools are closed.
We can have more rain now.
Okay.
Delbert (00:51):
All right.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I'm so sad about the poolsbeing closed, but I'm Delbert as
always on the green couch,looking out the big picture
window.
It's another beautiful day inLouisville, Kentucky.
There's your unofficial weatherforecast.
Talking about prisms andrainbows.
You know how I love sparklyshoes?
And I was showing a houseyesterday and I had my sparkly
(01:13):
sandals on, and we walked intothis room and just a million
prisms like lit up on the wall.
And the people like, whoa.
And I'm like we're having a, anexperience.
she's what is that?
And I'm like, it's my shoes.
And they just burst outlaughing.
But anyway, it was special.
It was very special.
Hess (01:33):
Your shoes made the sparkles on the wall, just the
light shining off your shoescoming through the window.
Delbert (01:40):
Uhhuh.
Uhhuh.
Hess (01:42):
That is cool that they, that probably made'em enjoy that
house even more.
Delbert (01:48):
Yeah.
Hey, it might have sold it, Idon't know.
Today Hess
Hess (01:57):
What do.
Delbert (01:57):
talking.
We're gonna talk about unitytoday because boy, do we need
it, right?
I've had to take a little breakfrom social media, I wanna
encourage Podsters.
If you go on, let's try to sharethings that are positive, like
nature or son's soccer score orwhatever it is, music, things
(02:21):
that bring us together a goodrecipe, whatever.
Let's, let's take a break frombeing divided.
Let's, we wanna talk about unitytoday because our country and
our world needs it so very bad.
Okay.
Hess (02:35):
We're more alike than not alike.
We're beautiful in each of ourindividual selves.
There you are, and who you are.
Adds so much to this world andmakes this, that's what makes
Unity.
What go ahead and say what youwere saying about the candles.
People light at a wedding.
Delbert (02:55):
yeah.
When I think about Unity, Ialways think about a wedding.
When the two families, two, twopeople who belong to two
different families who may haveseparate views, separate
visions, they go up, and theylight two candles and they light
one.
A symbol of unity, a symbol of,and unity is not.
(03:16):
That we're all the same.
In Christianity, it's aboutbeing a one body in Christ
through shared faith, love, andpurpose.
Despite differences.
It's a state of deep harmony andfellowship interdependence among
believers.
The key aspects are humility,love, mutual care.
(03:44):
service and the pursuit ofpeace.
So whatever your religiousbeliefs are I know that those
are some, those are core thingsin every religion.
We just happen to be raisedCatholic.
I just wanted to go back to areal basic thing and talk about
how can we come together becausewe do all love our country.
(04:07):
We love it, and that's why we'regetting all up in a frenzy about
it because we love it.
But remember that freedom isgetting up every day and going
to work or going to whatever ouractivity is for the day.
And without fear.
(04:30):
We need to be fearless andremember that ordinary people.
Who refuse to give up are whatour country's built on, and in
every conflict what has savedour country.
Hess (04:46):
And it is all of our individual.
selves that, that contribute tothat country.
All of the differences it's abig pot of soup.
Delbert, I'm picturing a big potof vegetable soup and it just
doesn't taste like green beans.
It tastes like the melding ofall of the different tastes that
are in that soup.
Delbert (05:07):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Hess (05:10):
Yeah.
Delbert (05:11):
Share a vegetable soup recipe on social media Or stone
soup.
Remember the guy that came intotown and it was a scam, but
everybody came out and madesomething together and I think
it was the beginning of potluck.
Hess (05:31):
A Kentuckian poet.
Author who I really love.
He has a farm in Henry County,Kentucky that he farms using
livestock.
No tractors or anything.
He says, this belong to yourplace by the knowledge of the
(05:52):
others.
Who are your neighbors in it.
The old man, the sick and thepoor.
The heron who comes to fish inthe creek.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
So Unity come together with lovewith good intention, with like
(06:15):
in, let me tell you, let me tellyou this about that.
Can I do that Delbert?
Delbert (06:19):
Hess, that's what we're here to do, tell
Hess (06:21):
Yeah.
Delbert (06:22):
about that.
Hess (06:23):
I got interested in a type of relationship work I've been
trained in since 1999 now, andit's called Imago, and it was
called Imago because that's theLatin word for image.
That, that we're attracted to,who we're attracted to, because
we're attracted by familiarlove, by familiarity.
(06:43):
But then when we get into thisrelationship, instead of it
being in the first part of therelationship, it's symbiotic.
It's kind you're in love withyourself because you feel so
fully alive in the first part ofthe relationship, and then it
flips after there's acommitment.
You kinda go into this wait asecond, you put your protective
cage on because you realizeyou're being triggered that
(07:05):
there's this other that's in therelationship with you.
Okay?
Because, and that's really ahealthy relationship.
are two fully alive,differentiated people.
And it's in that relationship ofthe other that we really can get
better with ourself too, becausewe and Imago teaches you these
(07:26):
really beautiful ways.
One of them is the intentionaldialogue where you're crossing
the bridge into the otherperson's world and you just
suspend your world for a littlebit.
As you cross the bridge and theother person's the sender,
you're the receiver and youmirror back what the other
person says.
You set aside your reactivity,you set aside thinking that
(07:49):
you're at fault and so on, orblah, blah, blah, blah.
You're just.
Crossing the bridge to the otherperson's world and the other
person's perspective.
And it doesn't mean that youeliminate yours, you still have
yours.
It doesn't mean the otherperson's right you're wrong or
that you're right, they'rewrong.
It's just another point of view.
And that is, instead, it createsthis unity of the differences.
(08:15):
Of being able to have the sacredspace of the between.
I have goosebumps right now,Delbert when I'm talking about
it.
And my wife Cathy Dialogued withme when our son, Lucas, was like
two or three years old, she saidshe was the sender and across
the bridge in her world.
And she said, I know you raisedCatholic for 35 years.
(08:35):
And I just would like Lucas tobe exposed to other faith.
And I remember in schoolDelbert, we did have classes and
in, in our Catholic schools,discovering another faiths and
Delbert (08:48):
That's one of the things I loved about growing up
Catholic in the sixties andseventies is the nuns exposed us
to.
All sorts of faiths.
We learned a lot about theJewish faith because Jesus was
Jewish.
But in high school we learnedabout Buddhism, Hinduism, We
really took a deep dive and Ilove that part of our education
(09:11):
for sure.
Hess (09:12):
Anyway, back to this dialogue with Cathy.
It wasn't like all of a suddenwe were gonna choose a different
church, and she said, you don'thave to change.
You don't have to not beCatholic.
I just wanna expose Lucas tosomething else.
And that ended up leading us toa place of a mutual, church.
Church that we've attended nowfor 23 years, the Unitarian
(09:33):
Universalist Church.
And what's cool about that, as Iwas thinking about unity this
morning, is that.
It, you don't have to believeanything to belong the Unitarian
Universalist church.
You could be Christian, youcould be Jewish, you can be
agnostic, you can be so on, youcan be Buddhist and so on.
It's, everybody can belongbecause it's about community.
(09:55):
So the difference always is sobeautiful because it creates a
more interesting, beautifulcommunity.
Delbert (10:04):
That's
Hess (10:04):
That's what.
Delbert (10:05):
that.
Yeah.
And you love your church.
I love how much you love yourchurch.
That's beautiful.
Hess (10:11):
Yeah.
So it's about unity.
It's about the unity ofdifferences.
Yeah.
And yeah you all that, I want toencourage you with what Delbert
said, like how can you con, howcan you contribute just to, to
show us that we're more likethan not alike now, everybody.
Everybody loves good food.
Share that good recipe.
(10:32):
Everybody loves love.
Share some love.
Delbert (10:36):
Today I'm thinking about what happened in
Louisville this weekend isbourbon and beyond.
200,000 people come together tolisten to music.
Hess (10:44):
Oh my LANs.
And they had seven stages orsomething.
Delbert (10:48):
Yeah it's fantastic.
Yeah.
And it brings people from allover, they come together and
listen to all these bands andcelebrate all the things
Kentucky has to offer bourbonand beyond.
And brings a lot of commerce toLouisville.
And I'm just so proud.
(11:08):
And, it's been so beautiful andpeaceful.
The weather's been great.
Everybody's just out theredancing together.
They're not asking each otherwhat they believe or, they all
believe in the power of musicand the power of being together
and being united.
So it's just one instance that'shappened this weekend.
That's, it's uniting.
Hess (11:30):
I love that.
I love that example.
They're all listening to thesame beat, right?
Delbert (11:35):
absolutely.
Absolutely.
Hess (11:37):
So we always have in the background this beautiful beat
of the world and all themiracles that are going on and
the miracle of people andindividuals and to to just let
yourself see that.
Let yourself see that and bethat.
Love that a friend of mineposted on Facebook this morning,
Priscilla.
I see out there, baby.
(11:58):
She's doing yoga at the newGatten Park on the stage.
There a whole group of peopledoing yoga together.
Delbert (12:07):
See, and nobody's fighting.
And just like your imago, I'vegot a core group of friends who
we're probably evenly divided inour political affiliations and
the day.
After the election or maybe aweek or so after who voted a
different way came and spent thenight with me so they could
(12:29):
visit their parents that were inan assisted living.
And I just said, I just wannalisten to you.
I wanna listen to why you votedthe way you voted, Wanna hear
you.
I wanna hear you And understand.
Hess (12:41):
And so you listened, and then that friend listened to you
too, right?
Delbert (12:45):
Yeah.
And we didn't solve anythingexcept one person at a time
listening and understanding andsaying, even though we differ,
we're in the same boat together.
You row this way, I'll row thatway.
We'll get there, we'll getthere.
Hess (13:03):
Yes.
Delbert (13:04):
thinking about my mama and papa.
I talk about them a lot.
And I always talk about my greatgrandmother, Susie, who was so
powerful.
She ran the card table down inthe basement with all the men
and and everybody had adifferent, favorite card game,
right?
Some of them liked, five carddraw, some of them like seven
(13:25):
card stud, just.
But Susie mixed it up and shemade sure everybody's favorite
game got played.
So I'm thinking a lot about mygrandparents right now.
'Cause we've got, when you got abig family, you've got a lot of
people who believe differentthings or and I think we'd be
around the poker table playingeach other's favorite game and
(13:46):
having fellowship andcamaraderie that way with dinner
and Right,
Hess (13:52):
Since you're bringing up grandparents.
My grandmother, my dad's momalways said, don't say anything.
Don't say anything unless youhave something good to say about
somebody.
Delbert (14:04):
Clara?
Yeah.
Hess (14:06):
Yeah.
And that's my middle name,Jessica Claire.
Yeah don't say anything if youdon't have something good to
say.
Don't pollute the space.
Don't pollute the space.
Delbert (14:16):
And also I think when somebody's got a real difference
of opinion, I think sometimeswe're thinking so hard about
what we're gonna reply, we'renot fully listening right?
And Take a beat, take a minute.
Count to 10, take a deep breathand if ten's not long enough, do
it again.
(14:37):
Because think about what you'reputting out there in the
atmosphere.
you, when you put out good, youget good back.
And
Hess (14:48):
Oh.
Delbert (14:49):
it.
Hess (14:50):
Delbert.
That is the truth.
If you put good out there, youget good back.
If you put good out there, youget good back.
So like with this Imagodialogue, you're not, you don't
use the sender doesn't usecriticism or blame.
They're speaking from I, andthat receiver is just mirroring
back each thing that the personsays and then ask is there more?
(15:11):
And then after there's not more.
In this intentional dialogue,you say, let me see if I've got
you and you summarize what theother person says.
Did I get you, did I geteverything?
And the person says, yes.
Or they might think aboutsomething else that pops up,
they might add.
And then the next thing,Delbert, this is so important
'cause we all wanna be gotten,is Hey, your world makes sense
(15:34):
to me because you do avalidation and you just pick out
one thing that makes sense.
We all need that.
We all wanna feel like we makesense.
And then the last part of thisintentional dialogue is I can
imagine all that might make youfeel and you come up with
whatever feelings the otherperson might have had.
(15:55):
And then after you name'em all,you say, did I miss any?
Did I get any wrong?
And the other person could fillin what you missed.
And the other person says, it'sjust like walking through
Hawaiian waterfall.
The other person feels like, oh,somebody got me.
Somebody really listened.
You got yeah.
Delbert (16:11):
wants to be listened to.
Everybody wants to be caredabout, and everybody wants to
belong, right?
We
Hess (16:19):
Everybody.
Delbert (16:20):
I'm thinking about what you just said about don't
pollute the air.
Don't put those bad vibes outthere.
Put out good Pods.
I hope that you live your lifegoing forward this week without
fear, with love, compassion,understanding, and do your best
to understand what people whodon't think.
(16:46):
like you think.
Let's try to understand eachother.
Oh, just had to think for asecond about Kentucky state
emblem.
It says, United, we stand,divided we fall just in that
category.
Hess (17:00):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And more common wealth, right?
Delbert (17:04):
Yeah.
Hess (17:04):
The common, the wealth of the community is what I wanna
say.
Delbert (17:08):
yes.
When we all do well, we all dowell, right?
Hess (17:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
So y'all, our pod, it helps usput something out there in the
world, these conversations.
Delbert, again, thank you somuch.
I feel good to start my week offwith our conversation and I love
it.
I love you and I love you podsfor listening to us.
(17:33):
We just wanna lift you up.
Delbert (17:36):
Be the best you can be.
And you know what?
you friends.
Peace and love.
Hess (17:43):
Peace and love.
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