October 12, 2025 • 29 mins
We grow when we do the hard things
Hess is back from a trip in France, and Delbert is back on the green couch today to talk to you about life—Join us in this chat. They had watched a video of Kara Lawson, Duke women’s basketball coach, telling her players that they should never wait for things to get easier. She tells them it won’t—but doing the hard things, will make it easier for you to do the hard things in the future. Delbert and Hess have talked a lot about this—doing the “next right thing” does NOT mean that it is the next “easiest thing.” Listen up and tell us what you think about this.
Peace and Love, and we believe in you—You CAN do it!
Here is the link to Kara's talk:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oDzfZOfNki4
I am still collecting for José's cancer treatments. This week José received radiation in his lower spine every day. We are awaiting the next CT Scans. Thank you for your continued support!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a top realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties She will help you find your home, and also help you get the most equity when you sell your house.
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:00):
Hey everybody.
Thank you so much for joining usagain on our Sunday morning
chat.
This is, let me tell you thisabout that.
My name's Hess.
I'm sitting in my little whitechair looking out my bedroom
window, and it's a pink swirl, afog down there by the creek.
The horses are at the gate.
(00:21):
It's a little brisk outside.
Delbert (00:25):
It is Hess.
This is me, Delbert, as alwayson the green couch looking out
my picture window.
It's a beautiful fall day.
I was just telling Hess, Ilooked out the window and I
thought I saw Venus.
Because you can see Venus in themorning sky this time of year.
And I think I did.
I didn't have my little starchart, but I just went out on
(00:47):
the front porch and it's just abeautiful Exactly.
Brisk, like lip and ice tea.
Just a brisk morning, gorgeousfall day in Kentucky.
Hess (00:59):
I love it when you have Venus up there, like right next
to the moon.
Delbert (01:02):
Oh my gosh.
So beautiful.
Hess (01:06):
Delbert, I just got back in yesterday afternoon from
France.
We noticed we noticed as soon aswe got to the Cincinnati airport
that nobody had any scarvesaround their necks.
In Paris, in France, all overFrance, in France.
Delbert (01:31):
My goodness.
Hess (01:33):
In France, everybody has a beautiful scarf around their
neck.
Men and women.
Delbert (01:38):
Oh my gosh.
Too fun.
Hess (01:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it was just, that was a fun,as we were in the line going
through customs Mary, my ourgrade school, high school
friend, Mary Carol Zin.
Mary Elliot, now she says, look,Jess, nobody has on a scarf.
Delbert (01:57):
She's so funny.
I think Mary could go on tour asa comic.
When we were in Bethany Beach,she made me laugh so hard.
One day on the beach.
Hess (02:07):
She's like a Leanne Morgan
Delbert (02:09):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Totally.
Just observationalist.
Yeah.
Hess (02:14):
She
Delbert (02:14):
she said she the best.
She's the best.
And you all were with.
High school friends verystrongly.
Mother of good counsel.
Representation over there youare.
Hess (02:24):
So our beautiful friend, Karen Rood, has Karen Rood's
kitchen, and she's affiliatedwith a cooking school there in
France.
And Mary and I signed up and herdaughter's best friend signed up
and a bunch of other people.
And we were in the cookingschool for four days.
And then we traveled with thissame group and the chefs to
(02:46):
different parts of France and.
Bert eating.
Just this really nice, good,fine food.
It was really sweet.
It was fantastic.
Good people.
So Karen Rood's Kitchen, if youever wanna take an epicurean
delight in France and learn howto cook a little bit better and
learn that you don't throw yournapkin on your plate when you
(03:08):
finish eating and other things Ilearned.
You don't squeeze your garlic.
Anybody that has one of thesegarlic squeezers, throw it out.
You're supposed to, you'resupposed to slice your gar
garlic.
Delbert (03:22):
Oh God.
That's maybe the one thing inthe world that I do.
Cooking I just don't have agarlic press, but Okay.
There you go.
Check that off.
I'm already done for the day.
As far as garlic's concerned.
Hess (03:33):
You
Delbert (03:34):
I'm golden.
Hess (03:34):
throw it out.
Delbert (03:35):
Yeah.
Hess (03:36):
to
Delbert (03:36):
It just was so beautiful the trip that Karen
planned.
It looked so fantastic.
I was living vicariously throughyou all.
Hess (03:44):
Oh my gosh.
And stayed in such nice places.
was funny the four of us Maryand myself and her daughter's
best friend.
We had a hotel that we set up tohave a few more days in France.
At the end of our epicureanjourney and we did hashtag no
longer traveling with Karenbecause on our photos, because
(04:06):
there was no more heated towelracks, it was
Delbert (04:11):
I Love it.
Oh, I love that.
She took her daughter and herdaughter's friend and,
Hess (04:16):
Yeah.
Delbert (04:16):
And then Mary Denny traveled with her
daughter-in-law.
That's just, it's beautiful.
I love that you all did that.
It was so wonderful to see thosebeautiful French country sides
and see your all's faces.
It was, it looked fantastic.
Hess (04:31):
and just Karen and Sidney and his wife Allison from the
cooking school there.
They just plan it to a teeflawless, no hiccups.
I don't even know.
I don't even remember stoppingfor Petro.
It's just, they're, it was justa flow.
It was beautiful.
Delbert (04:50):
Just a perfect flow and, I would've been not great
about cooking'cause everybodyknows I can't cook.
But and the dinners that you allwere saying like four and five
hours, that's really up my alleyjust sitting there talking,
tasting all the food that, oh, Iwould love to do well.
(05:11):
Okay.
When I was a young mom, my momand my sister Carol and I used
to say, let's be European.
And we would sit at my mom'sdining room table and drink wine
after dinner and not care aboutthe dishes and just sit there
and talk and and let the kidsplay.
And, and it, and it didn'thappen very often, but it was
(05:33):
just usually if Carol came intotown, like once a month or once
every other month, and it wasjust the most beautiful thing
to, yeah.
Hess (05:44):
And that's what I, that's what I told Karen and.
Sydney and Allison that you allare giving the service of
conversation People sittingaround a table, being
Delbert (05:56):
Yes.
Hess (05:57):
share ideas and thoughts, and that is so beautiful and so
good and so necessary.
Delbert (06:05):
I think so too.
That is how, I tell you all alot about my Mama and Papa's
house growing up and we stayed along time because the women were
upstairs in the kitchen talkingand the men were playing poker,
talking lots of conversation.
I think people knew so muchmore.
About each other's lives.
(06:26):
I just feel like nowadays we'reall in such a hurry.
We've got so much to do.
What a gift you all had to havethese nice, long, beautiful
conversations.
Hess (06:37):
And what I noticed about the Europeans is when they have
coffee, they sit down and drinktheir coffee like the English
with their tea.
You take a break, you sit downand we're in our Starbucks
drive-through lanes, and we takeour coffee in our car.
Delbert (06:52):
Now I am having my coffee while we're talking this
morning.
I do sit down and drink mycoffee.
Hess (06:57):
Yeah.
That's what our Sunday morningchats are.
Delbert (07:00):
Yeah.
Hess (07:00):
got tea here and you have your coffee and it's a chance
for you all to join us right nowin our coffee and conversation
or whatever beverage you mightbe having.
Or wherever you are in your liferight now, that even if you're
driving right now, even ifyou're driving, you're sitting
down with Delbert and I andwe're having a conversation.
Delbert (07:25):
It is beautiful.
Yes.
So Hess one of our friends fromour sacred Heart 1976
Championship.
Thread texted something reallybeautiful last night.
I was telling Hess I was waitingfor a Lyft to go to my brother's
65th birthday party.
My brother, Jay Bird, turned 65and
Hess (07:48):
Happy birthday, Jaybird.
Delbert (07:50):
Jay Bird and he's a good brother.
And I was waiting for my Lyft tocome and I started watching the
video that Kim sent.
Oh, so great.
You wanna head it off?
Has.
Hess (08:02):
Yeah, this is Kara Lawson talking to, she's the coach.
I think she's been there maybefive years or so.
Delbert, she's the head coach ofDuke basketball, duke girls
basketball, And she's tellingher kids, how, Hey.
We're, don't ever think it'sgonna get easier later on.
It doesn't.
(08:23):
But you working through the hardmeans that you're more prepared
to be able to work through thehard later on it.
It doesn't get easier later on.
Delbert it.
You just listened to it.
I listened to it last night.
What do you recall about whatshe said?
Delbert (08:41):
Just you know that people who are waiting for easy
are always gonna be waiting.
If you're sitting there waitingfor the easy button or the easy
it's not gonna come to you.
You're just gonna be sittingthere waiting for your life and
it's gonna go by.
It's actually in the hard thingsthat we grow.
And so if you just, quit puttingthings off and saying if I can
(09:04):
just get through this semester,if I can just get through this
deal, if I can just get throughthis.
No, it's.
Life is hard.
Parenting is hard.
Parenting ain't for sissies,right?
Everything that we do that isworthwhile in life.
It's hard and let's just dealwith it.
Let's just settle into it andrelax into it now.
(09:27):
Now I'm paraphrasing, I'mtelling what I got out of it
now, but let's just go ahead andlean into hard.
I love, one of my favoritepodcasts is we can do hard
things and we can, as humans.
I think we've gotta say, I'mgonna go for it.
I'm gonna learn this.
I'm gonna.
Deal with this, and I'm justgonna head it up front.
(09:49):
Go ahead and deal with it.
That's when we grow in life andthat's when great things happen.
I believe, I have a saying, whenmy parents were aging and there
were hard decisions to be madeand I had to we had to take the
keys away from my stepdad'causehe was just being a terrible
driver.
I.
(10:09):
Just that, they don't call itthe easy thing.
They call it the right thing.
Sometimes doing the right thingis very hard and it's
uncomfortable.
Sometimes it's having hardconversations with people.
Sometimes it's doing somethingreally hard, like taking keys
away from somebody that's nolonger driving.
And may endanger somebody or,many people who knows.
(10:33):
But it's having the courage andthe wherewithal to say, and also
the self-confidence, just tosay, I can do this.
Hess (10:45):
Yeah.
And another thing I'd like tojust say more about in some of
the things you just said, allthat wisdom you just said,
Delbert.
Is we, it seems like we'recircling around talking about
things in different ways here onour podcast, Bert, that we're
going through something tough,it's okay to feel it.
It's okay to feel the
Delbert (11:05):
Right.
Hess (11:06):
from it, feel it, and then to spiral up.
And to spiral up doesn't mean goon to do the easy thing to do
the next best thing.
Can it, it can be knowing whatwe need to do.
Oh, I realize what I need to do.
I had, I need to have that hardconversation.
I need to go ahead and make thischange even though it's
(11:27):
difficult, even though it mightshake things up just a bit.
Right now, it's the next bestthing that I need to do.
Best thing doesn't mean thatit's the next easiest thing.
It You shi or drawback or Shrinkup.
Delbert (11:42):
And you know that really good feeling and my work.
One of the hardest things iswhen you have an inspection and
you just have to get through allthat.
Just go through all of that.
Report it's plumbing andelectrical, all the things that
you don't really know much about'cause you're not an electrician
or a plumber.
And get through it.
And when I just dive in and Ijust go ahead and say I'm gonna
(12:05):
do it, I'm just gonna, get inthere.
It makes you feel so good whenyou've worked it out.
And that's how I think you buildconfidence.
Hess (12:16):
And maybe it needs a new roof, and you go ahead and get
the roof put on.
Delbert (12:19):
I know I've called an agent before and said, we're
gonna need a plumber, aelectrician, a roofer, a nun a
priest and a rabbi on this one.
And I think you just have to.
Deal with it with a little bitof humor.
'cause I, I always say they'rebuilt by humans.
They can be fixed by humansusually.
Just depends.
But I just love that.
(12:40):
I love that speech that KaraLawson gave.
It was just such a nice treat.
I think it was about nineo'clock last night we got it
right.
And.
Hess (12:49):
Delbert, I've got the transcript pulled up.
Let me just read a little bit ofit.
She says you don't say, I justgotta get through the preseason.
The preseason, and then it'll beokay, I just gotta get through
my junior year of school andthen the classes are gonna get
easier.
I've just gotta get my springand my senior year of college.
Then it's gonna be easier.
She says, that's what we do.
We wait for stuff to get easier,but it's never gonna get easier.
(13:12):
What happens is you handle hard,better.
What happens?
That's what happens when mostpeople think that it's gonna get
easier, that life's gonna geteasier, basketball's gonna get
easier, school's gonna geteasier, someone that handle, but
gets easier.
And what happens to you is youbecome better.
You become a better, you becomesomeone that handles hard stuff
(13:35):
better.
So that's a mental shift thathas to occur in each of your
brains.
It has to, because if you goaround waiting for stuff to get
easier in life, it's never gonnahappen.
And then what happens?
Oh.
so hard I can't do it.
Oh, this, I don't know.
When is it gonna be easier forme?
And that's when we kind of startblaming other people.
(13:57):
That's my little side thinggoing on here.
Delbert (13:59):
It's not your fault.
It's, it's always, I'm thevictim now because I can't do
hard things and yeah.
Hess (14:05):
I get, if I get this degree, then it'll be easier.
Delbert (14:08):
Yeah.
Hess (14:10):
But in each of those steps, when you do the next best
thing, that's harder, thatenriches your life and your
character so much Theexperiences that you can have
Delbert (14:21):
It gives you confidence, it makes you feel
better.
You push through that hardthing.
And it is doing the hard thingsis what gives us confidence.
Hess (14:31):
and just after just traveling abroad, Delbert.
It's not easy packing a bag andcarrying 45 pounds and all of
that and sleeping in other bedsand whatever, and you don't know
what's gonna be there, how it'sgonna be.
When you do travel in, in othercountries and cultures and see
how other people live, itbroadens yourself so much more.
(14:57):
And Expo expands yourself somuch.
And you come back with that to,I, I come back now with a
tourist mind.
I know I'm on a different timezone.
I tried to go to bed early lastnight.
I woke up at 4:00 AM That'll getbetter.
I'll adapt back to Easternstandard time.
But it I come back with atourist mind to dive in.
(15:18):
What can I dive in around hereand what can I see and what can
I broaden myself around here?
anyway, it's.
It's in everything you do, Intravel or anything.
Even if it's gonna be be fun.
If you find yourself maybe itmight be hard to do that or
maybe I won't learn how to surf,but it sure does look like fun.
(15:40):
Get out there on the board, takesome lessons, try something
that's hard it, whenever you'relearning, whenever you're
learning anything, it's notgonna be easy at first, is what
I guess I wanna say.
Delbert (15:54):
Exactly.
Hess (15:57):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Delbert (15:58):
We can do hard things though.
We can.
Hess (16:02):
Yeah.
And when we've been recentlytalking about, when we've hit
that spot, what can we do toflip our perspective to, so that
we can get the energy to.
To take that next step.
We've talked about that.
How can, last time we talkedabout reenergizing yourself,
(16:26):
Delbert, so that you don't getbronchitis two times in a row,
that you know when you need torecharge and we do need the good
energy to do the next hardthing, to do the next step.
Delbert (16:37):
Exactly.
It's such a little delicatebalance, of, going ahead and
pushing yourself to do the hardthings, but then giving yourself
permission to recharge andpushing hard on things.
And then also realizing when weneed to open our heart and
soften our hearts to humans andother people.
Hess (17:00):
To be able to go outside and just be
Delbert (17:04):
Yeah.
Hess (17:04):
for two or
Delbert (17:04):
Yeah.
Outside of yourself.
Yeah.
It's such a, life is just such alittle balance, isn't it?
It's just, it's a delicatelittle dance that we do, but
it's a beautiful dance.
So worth living friends, we wantyou to get out there and live it
and love it and do the hardthings, and then sit down and
relax.
(17:25):
Like you're, like, you're inFrance having a big dinner and
listen and have theconversation.
S what was that great quote thatyou were telling me about
earlier this morning when I waslooking at Venus?
Hess (17:38):
Okay.
Yeah, I'll read it to you.
It's Albert Camus He said, inthe midst of hate, I found there
was within me and Invinciblelove in the middle of tears.
(17:58):
I found there was within me aninvincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I foundthere was within me that
invincible calm.
I realized through it all thatin the midst of winter I found
there was within me aninvincible summer, and that
(18:23):
makes me happy.
For it says that no matter howhard the world pushes against
me, within me, somethingstronger.
Delbert (18:36):
That is so I love that.
So beautiful.
Perfect for today too.
Hess (18:43):
Back home Delbert, this is how I'm gonna spend my day.
Okay.
I before, before our chat thismorning, I'd eaten breakfast.
Poor CAthy.
She doesn't really, drink milktoo much.
So the milk had expired, so Ijust took a spoon and ate some
dry cereal, had my coffee openedup letter, took the letter
opener, opened up all the mailthat it accumulated over the
(19:05):
past two weeks, and I tookthings out, saw what was
pertinent, what made my stacks II'm gonna enjoy.
Being back, feeling grounded inmy home, riding my horse.
Go to my Unitarian Universalistchurch.
Go see my mom.
Take her those caramelchocolates from that little C
(19:28):
Chocolaty, chocolate to cure orwhatever, c choc ch they have.
They make special chocolate overthere in France.
Went to the special.
I, for, I forget how it's called
Delbert (19:41):
We'll put it in the, we'll put it in the notes.
Hess (19:44):
one of the, of the belly laughs of.
Of one every hour with MaryCarol is that we go through
customs in Cincinnati.
The line's pretty long gothrough customs and then we had
to take our, then we got ourbags and then we had to go
through this other line.
We didn't realize that we'resupposed to resubmit our bags
(20:05):
even though we're not catchinganother flight in Cincinnati.
'cause there was a spot whereyou put your bag into.
To have it, to go to your nextdestination.
So we were just pulling our bigold suitcase back to this other
line and these people are sayingstop.
You're supposed to put your bagover here on this other spot.
Mary goes, Hey, we've beenlistening to French.
(20:27):
We didn't understand thatEnglish,
Delbert (20:29):
did you say that in French?
Yeah.
Oh God.
Hess (20:36):
Yeah.
Delbert (20:37):
back.
Has welcome back.
Hess (20:40):
So good to be back.
So
Delbert (20:42):
awesome.
Hess (20:43):
back.
Delbert (20:43):
I love that you all had that adventure and I love that
you all shared so many beautifulphotos on social media.
It was great.
Hess (20:50):
Yeah.
Delbert (20:51):
Traveling along.
I'm gonna do an open house todayand just regroup my house as a
disaster.
I went to Boo at the Zoo withthe Darling Society, my
grandkids last night.
We were the boy band, the SjaBoys from K-Pop Demon Hunters.
Hess (21:09):
That's what you all dressed up as.
Delbert (21:11):
Yes, the five of us, and it's a five, person, band.
And and it's funny because thatwas a really popular theme last
night.
We were the only ones dressed asthe boy band, but lots of the
little girls were dressed asRumi.
The lead character and, we werewaiting for some friends of my
daughter Nikki's, to come andmeet us.
And so we were all just standingin this little area.
(21:31):
And, they have all, it'sbeautiful, they have all these
big sets set up, like the Wizardof Oz and all the different
characters.
And if you haven't, if you livein Louisville and you haven't
done Boo at the Zoo, it'sfantastic.
You gotta do it.
And just Disney characters, allthe little minions.
All of the, video games, MarioBrothers and stuff, and each
(21:53):
thing is like just this big,huge we were just standing off
on a little piece of grass.
Together and people startedasking to have their picture
taken with us.
Our costume were really good andthey thought that we were part,
and we're like, should we haveasked for, we took probably 20
to 30 pictures with people andtheir kids and we're like,
should we ask for a paycheckfrom the zoo?
(22:15):
We had so much fun and
Hess (22:17):
they thought that you all were one of these
Delbert (22:19):
yes.
It was hilarious.
Yes, it was so funny.
We had so much fun.
And of course my darlings havebeautiful singing voices.
They were singing all the songsand we were just having the best
time.
And
Hess (22:34):
I went to it last year with my brother and his
Delbert (22:37):
isn't it great?
It's so great.
It's so great.
And anyway we just had the besttime and, now I'm home.
I had a costume change and thenwent to my brother's 65th
birthday party, so I had a, andI worked that yesterday too.
So my house is a disaster.
I got, I have all thesedeliveries from.
(22:59):
Amazon, goodness knows what kindof mischief I got myself into.
But anyway, I'm gonna clean alittle bit here this morning.
That was a long way around thebarn to tell you.
I've got costumes everywhere, awig.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to getorganized here today before my
open house and enjoy thisbeautiful fall day.
Hess (23:21):
Sweet, sweet.
And it is beautiful everybody,thank you so much for listening.
We appreciate you.
We love you.
And please share and and leaveus a comment please.
Delbert (23:35):
We love you friends.
Peace and love.
Hey everybody.
Thank you so much for joining usagain on our Sunday morning
chat.
This is, let me tell you thisabout that.
My name's Hess.
I'm sitting in my little whitechair looking out my bedroom
window, and it's a pink swirl, afog down there by the creek.
The horses are at the gate.
(00:21):
It's a little brisk outside.
Delbert (00:25):
It is Hess.
This is me, Delbert, as alwayson the green couch looking out
my picture window.
It's a beautiful fall day.
I was just telling Hess, Ilooked out the window and I
thought I saw Venus.
Because you can see Venus in themorning sky this time of year.
And I think I did.
I didn't have my little starchart, but I just went out on
(00:47):
the front porch and it's just abeautiful Exactly.
Brisk, like lip and ice tea.
Just a brisk morning, gorgeousfall day in Kentucky.
Hess (00:59):
I love it when you have Venus up there, like right next
to the moon.
Delbert (01:02):
Oh my gosh.
So beautiful.
Hess (01:06):
Delbert, I just got back in yesterday afternoon from
France.
We noticed we noticed as soon aswe got to the Cincinnati airport
that nobody had any scarvesaround their necks.
In Paris, in France, all overFrance, in France.
Delbert (01:31):
My goodness.
Hess (01:33):
In France, everybody has a beautiful scarf around their
neck.
Men and women.
Delbert (01:38):
Oh my gosh.
Too fun.
Hess (01:40):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it was just, that was a fun,as we were in the line going
through customs Mary, my ourgrade school, high school
friend, Mary Carol Zin.
Mary Elliot, now she says, look,Jess, nobody has on a scarf.
Delbert (01:57):
She's so funny.
I think Mary could go on tour asa comic.
When we were in Bethany Beach,she made me laugh so hard.
One day on the beach.
Hess (02:07):
She's like a Leanne Morgan
Delbert (02:09):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Totally.
Just observationalist.
Yeah.
Hess (02:14):
She
Delbert (02:14):
she said she the best.
She's the best.
And you all were with.
High school friends verystrongly.
Mother of good counsel.
Representation over there youare.
Hess (02:24):
So our beautiful friend, Karen Rood, has Karen Rood's
kitchen, and she's affiliatedwith a cooking school there in
France.
And Mary and I signed up and herdaughter's best friend signed up
and a bunch of other people.
And we were in the cookingschool for four days.
And then we traveled with thissame group and the chefs to
(02:46):
different parts of France and.
Bert eating.
Just this really nice, good,fine food.
It was really sweet.
It was fantastic.
Good people.
So Karen Rood's Kitchen, if youever wanna take an epicurean
delight in France and learn howto cook a little bit better and
learn that you don't throw yournapkin on your plate when you
(03:08):
finish eating and other things Ilearned.
You don't squeeze your garlic.
Anybody that has one of thesegarlic squeezers, throw it out.
You're supposed to, you'resupposed to slice your gar
garlic.
Delbert (03:22):
Oh God.
That's maybe the one thing inthe world that I do.
Cooking I just don't have agarlic press, but Okay.
There you go.
Check that off.
I'm already done for the day.
As far as garlic's concerned.
Hess (03:33):
You
Delbert (03:34):
I'm golden.
Hess (03:34):
throw it out.
Delbert (03:35):
Yeah.
Hess (03:36):
to
Delbert (03:36):
It just was so beautiful the trip that Karen
planned.
It looked so fantastic.
I was living vicariously throughyou all.
Hess (03:44):
Oh my gosh.
And stayed in such nice places.
was funny the four of us Maryand myself and her daughter's
best friend.
We had a hotel that we set up tohave a few more days in France.
At the end of our epicureanjourney and we did hashtag no
longer traveling with Karenbecause on our photos, because
(04:06):
there was no more heated towelracks, it was
Delbert (04:11):
I Love it.
Oh, I love that.
She took her daughter and herdaughter's friend and,
Hess (04:16):
Yeah.
Delbert (04:16):
And then Mary Denny traveled with her
daughter-in-law.
That's just, it's beautiful.
I love that you all did that.
It was so wonderful to see thosebeautiful French country sides
and see your all's faces.
It was, it looked fantastic.
Hess (04:31):
and just Karen and Sidney and his wife Allison from the
cooking school there.
They just plan it to a teeflawless, no hiccups.
I don't even know.
I don't even remember stoppingfor Petro.
It's just, they're, it was justa flow.
It was beautiful.
Delbert (04:50):
Just a perfect flow and, I would've been not great
about cooking'cause everybodyknows I can't cook.
But and the dinners that you allwere saying like four and five
hours, that's really up my alleyjust sitting there talking,
tasting all the food that, oh, Iwould love to do well.
(05:11):
Okay.
When I was a young mom, my momand my sister Carol and I used
to say, let's be European.
And we would sit at my mom'sdining room table and drink wine
after dinner and not care aboutthe dishes and just sit there
and talk and and let the kidsplay.
And, and it, and it didn'thappen very often, but it was
(05:33):
just usually if Carol came intotown, like once a month or once
every other month, and it wasjust the most beautiful thing
to, yeah.
Hess (05:44):
And that's what I, that's what I told Karen and.
Sydney and Allison that you allare giving the service of
conversation People sittingaround a table, being
Delbert (05:56):
Yes.
Hess (05:57):
share ideas and thoughts, and that is so beautiful and so
good and so necessary.
Delbert (06:05):
I think so too.
That is how, I tell you all alot about my Mama and Papa's
house growing up and we stayed along time because the women were
upstairs in the kitchen talkingand the men were playing poker,
talking lots of conversation.
I think people knew so muchmore.
About each other's lives.
(06:26):
I just feel like nowadays we'reall in such a hurry.
We've got so much to do.
What a gift you all had to havethese nice, long, beautiful
conversations.
Hess (06:37):
And what I noticed about the Europeans is when they have
coffee, they sit down and drinktheir coffee like the English
with their tea.
You take a break, you sit downand we're in our Starbucks
drive-through lanes, and we takeour coffee in our car.
Delbert (06:52):
Now I am having my coffee while we're talking this
morning.
I do sit down and drink mycoffee.
Hess (06:57):
Yeah.
That's what our Sunday morningchats are.
Delbert (07:00):
Yeah.
Hess (07:00):
got tea here and you have your coffee and it's a chance
for you all to join us right nowin our coffee and conversation
or whatever beverage you mightbe having.
Or wherever you are in your liferight now, that even if you're
driving right now, even ifyou're driving, you're sitting
down with Delbert and I andwe're having a conversation.
Delbert (07:25):
It is beautiful.
Yes.
So Hess one of our friends fromour sacred Heart 1976
Championship.
Thread texted something reallybeautiful last night.
I was telling Hess I was waitingfor a Lyft to go to my brother's
65th birthday party.
My brother, Jay Bird, turned 65and
Hess (07:48):
Happy birthday, Jaybird.
Delbert (07:50):
Jay Bird and he's a good brother.
And I was waiting for my Lyft tocome and I started watching the
video that Kim sent.
Oh, so great.
You wanna head it off?
Has.
Hess (08:02):
Yeah, this is Kara Lawson talking to, she's the coach.
I think she's been there maybefive years or so.
Delbert, she's the head coach ofDuke basketball, duke girls
basketball, And she's tellingher kids, how, Hey.
We're, don't ever think it'sgonna get easier later on.
It doesn't.
(08:23):
But you working through the hardmeans that you're more prepared
to be able to work through thehard later on it.
It doesn't get easier later on.
Delbert it.
You just listened to it.
I listened to it last night.
What do you recall about whatshe said?
Delbert (08:41):
Just you know that people who are waiting for easy
are always gonna be waiting.
If you're sitting there waitingfor the easy button or the easy
it's not gonna come to you.
You're just gonna be sittingthere waiting for your life and
it's gonna go by.
It's actually in the hard thingsthat we grow.
And so if you just, quit puttingthings off and saying if I can
(09:04):
just get through this semester,if I can just get through this
deal, if I can just get throughthis.
No, it's.
Life is hard.
Parenting is hard.
Parenting ain't for sissies,right?
Everything that we do that isworthwhile in life.
It's hard and let's just dealwith it.
Let's just settle into it andrelax into it now.
(09:27):
Now I'm paraphrasing, I'mtelling what I got out of it
now, but let's just go ahead andlean into hard.
I love, one of my favoritepodcasts is we can do hard
things and we can, as humans.
I think we've gotta say, I'mgonna go for it.
I'm gonna learn this.
I'm gonna.
Deal with this, and I'm justgonna head it up front.
(09:49):
Go ahead and deal with it.
That's when we grow in life andthat's when great things happen.
I believe, I have a saying, whenmy parents were aging and there
were hard decisions to be madeand I had to we had to take the
keys away from my stepdad'causehe was just being a terrible
driver.
I.
(10:09):
Just that, they don't call itthe easy thing.
They call it the right thing.
Sometimes doing the right thingis very hard and it's
uncomfortable.
Sometimes it's having hardconversations with people.
Sometimes it's doing somethingreally hard, like taking keys
away from somebody that's nolonger driving.
And may endanger somebody or,many people who knows.
(10:33):
But it's having the courage andthe wherewithal to say, and also
the self-confidence, just tosay, I can do this.
Hess (10:45):
Yeah.
And another thing I'd like tojust say more about in some of
the things you just said, allthat wisdom you just said,
Delbert.
Is we, it seems like we'recircling around talking about
things in different ways here onour podcast, Bert, that we're
going through something tough,it's okay to feel it.
It's okay to feel the
Delbert (11:05):
Right.
Hess (11:06):
from it, feel it, and then to spiral up.
And to spiral up doesn't mean goon to do the easy thing to do
the next best thing.
Can it, it can be knowing whatwe need to do.
Oh, I realize what I need to do.
I had, I need to have that hardconversation.
I need to go ahead and make thischange even though it's
(11:27):
difficult, even though it mightshake things up just a bit.
Right now, it's the next bestthing that I need to do.
Best thing doesn't mean thatit's the next easiest thing.
It You shi or drawback or Shrinkup.
Delbert (11:42):
And you know that really good feeling and my work.
One of the hardest things iswhen you have an inspection and
you just have to get through allthat.
Just go through all of that.
Report it's plumbing andelectrical, all the things that
you don't really know much about'cause you're not an electrician
or a plumber.
And get through it.
And when I just dive in and Ijust go ahead and say I'm gonna
(12:05):
do it, I'm just gonna, get inthere.
It makes you feel so good whenyou've worked it out.
And that's how I think you buildconfidence.
Hess (12:16):
And maybe it needs a new roof, and you go ahead and get
the roof put on.
Delbert (12:19):
I know I've called an agent before and said, we're
gonna need a plumber, aelectrician, a roofer, a nun a
priest and a rabbi on this one.
And I think you just have to.
Deal with it with a little bitof humor.
'cause I, I always say they'rebuilt by humans.
They can be fixed by humansusually.
Just depends.
But I just love that.
(12:40):
I love that speech that KaraLawson gave.
It was just such a nice treat.
I think it was about nineo'clock last night we got it
right.
And.
Hess (12:49):
Delbert, I've got the transcript pulled up.
Let me just read a little bit ofit.
She says you don't say, I justgotta get through the preseason.
The preseason, and then it'll beokay, I just gotta get through
my junior year of school andthen the classes are gonna get
easier.
I've just gotta get my springand my senior year of college.
Then it's gonna be easier.
She says, that's what we do.
We wait for stuff to get easier,but it's never gonna get easier.
(13:12):
What happens is you handle hard,better.
What happens?
That's what happens when mostpeople think that it's gonna get
easier, that life's gonna geteasier, basketball's gonna get
easier, school's gonna geteasier, someone that handle, but
gets easier.
And what happens to you is youbecome better.
You become a better, you becomesomeone that handles hard stuff
(13:35):
better.
So that's a mental shift thathas to occur in each of your
brains.
It has to, because if you goaround waiting for stuff to get
easier in life, it's never gonnahappen.
And then what happens?
Oh.
so hard I can't do it.
Oh, this, I don't know.
When is it gonna be easier forme?
And that's when we kind of startblaming other people.
(13:57):
That's my little side thinggoing on here.
Delbert (13:59):
It's not your fault.
It's, it's always, I'm thevictim now because I can't do
hard things and yeah.
Hess (14:05):
I get, if I get this degree, then it'll be easier.
Delbert (14:08):
Yeah.
Hess (14:10):
But in each of those steps, when you do the next best
thing, that's harder, thatenriches your life and your
character so much Theexperiences that you can have
Delbert (14:21):
It gives you confidence, it makes you feel
better.
You push through that hardthing.
And it is doing the hard thingsis what gives us confidence.
Hess (14:31):
and just after just traveling abroad, Delbert.
It's not easy packing a bag andcarrying 45 pounds and all of
that and sleeping in other bedsand whatever, and you don't know
what's gonna be there, how it'sgonna be.
When you do travel in, in othercountries and cultures and see
how other people live, itbroadens yourself so much more.
(14:57):
And Expo expands yourself somuch.
And you come back with that to,I, I come back now with a
tourist mind.
I know I'm on a different timezone.
I tried to go to bed early lastnight.
I woke up at 4:00 AM That'll getbetter.
I'll adapt back to Easternstandard time.
But it I come back with atourist mind to dive in.
(15:18):
What can I dive in around hereand what can I see and what can
I broaden myself around here?
anyway, it's.
It's in everything you do, Intravel or anything.
Even if it's gonna be be fun.
If you find yourself maybe itmight be hard to do that or
maybe I won't learn how to surf,but it sure does look like fun.
(15:40):
Get out there on the board, takesome lessons, try something
that's hard it, whenever you'relearning, whenever you're
learning anything, it's notgonna be easy at first, is what
I guess I wanna say.
Delbert (15:54):
Exactly.
Hess (15:57):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Delbert (15:58):
We can do hard things though.
We can.
Hess (16:02):
Yeah.
And when we've been recentlytalking about, when we've hit
that spot, what can we do toflip our perspective to, so that
we can get the energy to.
To take that next step.
We've talked about that.
How can, last time we talkedabout reenergizing yourself,
(16:26):
Delbert, so that you don't getbronchitis two times in a row,
that you know when you need torecharge and we do need the good
energy to do the next hardthing, to do the next step.
Delbert (16:37):
Exactly.
It's such a little delicatebalance, of, going ahead and
pushing yourself to do the hardthings, but then giving yourself
permission to recharge andpushing hard on things.
And then also realizing when weneed to open our heart and
soften our hearts to humans andother people.
Hess (17:00):
To be able to go outside and just be
Delbert (17:04):
Yeah.
Hess (17:04):
for two or
Delbert (17:04):
Yeah.
Outside of yourself.
Yeah.
It's such a, life is just such alittle balance, isn't it?
It's just, it's a delicatelittle dance that we do, but
it's a beautiful dance.
So worth living friends, we wantyou to get out there and live it
and love it and do the hardthings, and then sit down and
relax.
(17:25):
Like you're, like, you're inFrance having a big dinner and
listen and have theconversation.
S what was that great quote thatyou were telling me about
earlier this morning when I waslooking at Venus?
Hess (17:38):
Okay.
Yeah, I'll read it to you.
It's Albert Camus He said, inthe midst of hate, I found there
was within me and Invinciblelove in the middle of tears.
(17:58):
I found there was within me aninvincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I foundthere was within me that
invincible calm.
I realized through it all thatin the midst of winter I found
there was within me aninvincible summer, and that
(18:23):
makes me happy.
For it says that no matter howhard the world pushes against
me, within me, somethingstronger.
Delbert (18:36):
That is so I love that.
So beautiful.
Perfect for today too.
Hess (18:43):
Back home Delbert, this is how I'm gonna spend my day.
Okay.
I before, before our chat thismorning, I'd eaten breakfast.
Poor CAthy.
She doesn't really, drink milktoo much.
So the milk had expired, so Ijust took a spoon and ate some
dry cereal, had my coffee openedup letter, took the letter
opener, opened up all the mailthat it accumulated over the
(19:05):
past two weeks, and I tookthings out, saw what was
pertinent, what made my stacks II'm gonna enjoy.
Being back, feeling grounded inmy home, riding my horse.
Go to my Unitarian Universalistchurch.
Go see my mom.
Take her those caramelchocolates from that little C
(19:28):
Chocolaty, chocolate to cure orwhatever, c choc ch they have.
They make special chocolate overthere in France.
Went to the special.
I, for, I forget how it's called
Delbert (19:41):
We'll put it in the, we'll put it in the notes.
Hess (19:44):
one of the, of the belly laughs of.
Of one every hour with MaryCarol is that we go through
customs in Cincinnati.
The line's pretty long gothrough customs and then we had
to take our, then we got ourbags and then we had to go
through this other line.
We didn't realize that we'resupposed to resubmit our bags
(20:05):
even though we're not catchinganother flight in Cincinnati.
'cause there was a spot whereyou put your bag into.
To have it, to go to your nextdestination.
So we were just pulling our bigold suitcase back to this other
line and these people are sayingstop.
You're supposed to put your bagover here on this other spot.
Mary goes, Hey, we've beenlistening to French.
(20:27):
We didn't understand thatEnglish,
Delbert (20:29):
did you say that in French?
Yeah.
Oh God.
Hess (20:36):
Yeah.
Delbert (20:37):
back.
Has welcome back.
Hess (20:40):
So good to be back.
So
Delbert (20:42):
awesome.
Hess (20:43):
back.
Delbert (20:43):
I love that you all had that adventure and I love that
you all shared so many beautifulphotos on social media.
It was great.
Hess (20:50):
Yeah.
Delbert (20:51):
Traveling along.
I'm gonna do an open house todayand just regroup my house as a
disaster.
I went to Boo at the Zoo withthe Darling Society, my
grandkids last night.
We were the boy band, the SjaBoys from K-Pop Demon Hunters.
Hess (21:09):
That's what you all dressed up as.
Delbert (21:11):
Yes, the five of us, and it's a five, person, band.
And and it's funny because thatwas a really popular theme last
night.
We were the only ones dressed asthe boy band, but lots of the
little girls were dressed asRumi.
The lead character and, we werewaiting for some friends of my
daughter Nikki's, to come andmeet us.
And so we were all just standingin this little area.
(21:31):
And, they have all, it'sbeautiful, they have all these
big sets set up, like the Wizardof Oz and all the different
characters.
And if you haven't, if you livein Louisville and you haven't
done Boo at the Zoo, it'sfantastic.
You gotta do it.
And just Disney characters, allthe little minions.
All of the, video games, MarioBrothers and stuff, and each
(21:53):
thing is like just this big,huge we were just standing off
on a little piece of grass.
Together and people startedasking to have their picture
taken with us.
Our costume were really good andthey thought that we were part,
and we're like, should we haveasked for, we took probably 20
to 30 pictures with people andtheir kids and we're like,
should we ask for a paycheckfrom the zoo?
(22:15):
We had so much fun and
Hess (22:17):
they thought that you all were one of these
Delbert (22:19):
yes.
It was hilarious.
Yes, it was so funny.
We had so much fun.
And of course my darlings havebeautiful singing voices.
They were singing all the songsand we were just having the best
time.
And
Hess (22:34):
I went to it last year with my brother and his
Delbert (22:37):
isn't it great?
It's so great.
It's so great.
And anyway we just had the besttime and, now I'm home.
I had a costume change and thenwent to my brother's 65th
birthday party, so I had a, andI worked that yesterday too.
So my house is a disaster.
I got, I have all thesedeliveries from.
(22:59):
Amazon, goodness knows what kindof mischief I got myself into.
But anyway, I'm gonna clean alittle bit here this morning.
That was a long way around thebarn to tell you.
I've got costumes everywhere, awig.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to getorganized here today before my
open house and enjoy thisbeautiful fall day.
Hess (23:21):
Sweet, sweet.
And it is beautiful everybody,thank you so much for listening.
We appreciate you.
We love you.
And please share and and leaveus a comment please.
Delbert (23:35):
We love you friends.
Peace and love.
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