February 15, 2025 • 32 mins
In this heartwarming and reflective episode of "Let Me Tell You This About That," hosts Hess and Delbert share their experiences of navigating the challenges of winter. Hess broadcasts from her iconic white chair at the farm in Lexington, while Delbert speaks from her green couch in Louisville, Kentucky. Together, they discuss the unpredictable weather, the struggles of ensuring children receive meals during school closures, and the importance of finding joy in the simple things. Delbert reminisces about his industrious grandmother, Mamaw Dorothy, and her magic of creating beauty from scraps, while Hess and Delbert share tips on rescuing and reviving flowers to brighten up the dreariest of days. The conversation weaves through anecdotes of community support, the joy of small traditions, and the importance of remaining hopeful and creative during tough times. The episode concludes with a poignant quote about happiness, highlighting the significant impact of spreading joy. Join Hess and Delbert as they remind listeners to notice the green grass amid the mud and embrace the wonders of winter with peace and love.
Update on my friend José and his cancer treatments. After the first rounds of chemo, after new scans--the good news is that the tumor in the colon has shrunk, but they have increased in his liver. His oncologist has increasd the power of the chemo to help irradicate it elsewhere. Thank you so much for your support to Jose!
https://gofund.me/e6f61999
In addition to being a podcast host, Hess is also an LCSW--if you'd like to learn more about her work as a therapist, check it out at www.jessicabollinger.com
One of her mission's is for all of our lights to shine--when we see each other and allow ourself to be seen--and we can say to the person in front of us, There You Are! the world will be an amazing place!
Delbert is a realtor in Louisville, KY, and you can find her at Kentucky Select Properties
Her philanthropic work to continue her sister Carole and niece Meghan is Carole's Kitchen. Blessings in a Backpack helps feed the many hungry students in our schools. The instagram account is: https://www.instagram.com/caroleskitchen.nonprofit?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Hess (00:01):
Hey, welcome y'all back to let me tell you this about that.
I'm Hess.
Delbert (00:08):
Are you live from the white chair, Hess?
Hess (00:12):
I am totally 100 percent live from the white chair,
looking out my window.
It's a gray kind of rainy day.
And here I am.
Where are you Delbert?
Delbert (00:22):
As always, Hess, I am on the green couch looking out
my window.
It is a dreary day and it's beena little dreary here in
Louisville, Kentucky this week.
One of the things we wanted totalk about with you all today is
getting through the winter,right?
We're in the homestretch andwe've had some crazy weather in
(00:47):
Louisville that's just turned uson our heads.
It was beautiful on Monday, niceenough to walk outside without
your coat on.
I took a walk without my coatMonday.
And then Tuesday, it snowed.
my world's been a little upsidedown.
In addition to the weather,we've got so many flus and
(01:11):
viruses on that the kids didn'thave school on Monday just
because there were so manypeople sick.
And then they didn't have schoolon Tuesday.
I was telling Hess that, becauseof what my family's charity does
dealing with childhood hunger, Ireally worry when kids don't go
to school because a lot of thefood that we count on at the
(01:36):
school in our pantries.
blessings in a backpack servestheir food at school as well as
dare to care programs.
And the children who receivedthose services also rely on
those free breakfast and lunchprograms.
And so I just felt reallyworried.
(01:58):
I was telling Hess, I just feltreally worried and scattered on
Monday and Tuesday.
I
Hess (02:04):
Yeah.
So the lowdown is Monday night.
They were expecting all thissnow and bad weather on Tuesday
and was just going to reallypile up.
So here in Lexington, On Mondaynight, they had canceled classes
at the University of Kentucky,and they had canceled public
school classes.
And when did when was thecancellations for the
(02:27):
Louisville, for Jefferson CountyPublic Schools?
When did they announce those forTuesday?
Delbert (02:33):
oh, they did it on Monday as well.
Monday evening.
Hess (02:36):
They did it on Monday.
Delbert (02:37):
Yeah.
And I think probably too, justbecause they had so many people
out sick, they were thinkingthat extra day would help,
Hess (02:46):
Oh, yeah,
Delbert (02:47):
monday and then they did no Tuesday.
And then thankfully everybodywas back on Wednesday.
How about you all?
I asked, were you all back?
Hess (02:55):
Yes, for sure.
We were back on Wednesday.
So Delbert, it makes all kindsof sense that you worry that the
kids don't get food.
They rely on getting that freebreakfast and lunch.
And if there's no school, theydon't get that day.
And when they don't have schoolfor Tuesday and how long that's
going to last, you're worriedabout those kids.
Delbert (03:16):
Exactly.
And that can along with theweather and just the winter
being dark, I think a lot
Hess (03:24):
Yeah, because back in January, when school was about
to start after Christmas break.
The kids were off all weekbecause of a big snow and wow
Delbert there's more days thatyou're worried that those kids
aren't getting breakfast andlunch at least
Delbert (03:41):
know.
So I had just gotten throughthat and everybody was doing
good and I got my sweet cardsfrom my kids at Lane elementary
and everything seemed right.
And then when you think you'vegot everything figured out and
then life throws you a curveball, You really have to try to
keep your balance in life sothat you don't tip over.
(04:01):
I was really struggling.
This past week and I startedthinking about how my
grandmother, who was just alwaysso calm, she was our calm.
She, I say, she was the moon.
Balanced everything out shiningbrightly in the darkness, and
she and my grandfather, theystruggled a lot, money wise.
(04:26):
She could put a meal together.
made all of our.
clothing, like our FirstCommunion dresses, and she could
make a suit for a boy's FirstCommunion, those blue suits they
used to wear.
A baptismal gown.
of course, every time Christmaswas over, she'd start again
(04:49):
making Christmas presentshandmade for all of her 29
grandkids.
she just would restart thiswhole creative process, right?
when I was struggling, I startedthinking about her and then I
grabbed this book off the shelfSimple Abundance.
It's a day book of comfort andjoy.
(05:10):
My friend Shannon and I, ourmoms died really close together
and she's best friend at work.
And our boss's wife.
gave us both this book and westarted reading it together in
2017.
And then in 2018 we reread ittogether.
So I'm like, I need to grab thatbecause need to keep reminding
(05:35):
ourselves even when there's bigthings going on, we've got to
find these simple joys.
We've got to find this.
This happiness and this peace inour life and make something of
nothing.
We live in a state of abundance,regardless, especially for, real
estate agents.
That's a important lessonbecause, we are like a high wire
(05:58):
act, right?
We live on commission.
So you've got to live in thatabundant state of mind.
You can't live in scarcity.
I would say my grandmother, shewould find a little scrap of
material, and she had this cutelittle country accent, she'd
say.
I bought that for a quarter.
Yeah, I bought it for a quarter,and I'm gonna make a dress for
(06:19):
the baby.
So whoever Scrap of material shefound at the store would fit,
she'd make them somethingspecial out of it.
Hess (06:27):
So y'all, this is mama Dorothy, that
Delbert (06:30):
Mamaw Dorothy, yeah.
Hess (06:32):
Dorothy.
I bought that for a quarter.
I'm going to make a, I'm goingto make a dress.
I'm going to make that baby adress.
So she was creating and shewould, after Christmas, she
would begin making everythingagain.
Delbert (06:45):
And crocheting.
And could make her own patterns.
I think I've talked about thatbefore.
So she was a, an engineer, shecould make a pattern out of a
paper bag.
Her own patterns, made all ofour important, clothing.
And so I'm like, that was hermeditation and she was so
fortunate in that, but I reallyneed, cause I'm not creative,
(07:06):
I'm not crafty.
And so I would find littlethings in this simple abundance
book, I'll put.
A bouquet of flowers out or handmake little valentines or, just
give myself something hopefuland pretty to look at.
To get myself through.
And I think it's important whenI.
When we're having a littlesecond, when we're not feeling
(07:30):
all that joy, and we're a littledepressed, it's good to, to and
think about all the things thatmake us happy.
The simple things, doesn't haveto be big, doesn't have to be a
big gesture.
Hess (07:44):
Yeah you you buy the flowers they're about to throw
out at Kroger's and then yousnip them and make them new and
they last another week, right?
Ha!
Delbert (07:52):
like, you're going to be okay, I'm going to take you
home and fix you right up girls.
My friend Stuart he owned afloral shop for a long time and
he said, cut them diagonallyunderwater, give them a sip, as
soon as they're, they take thatbreath,
Hess (08:09):
Whoa!
Delbert (08:10):
Yeah, let it be
Hess (08:12):
So you make that diagonal cut while the tap water's going.
Let them take a drink.
Delbert (08:16):
Yeah.
And they take a drink and thenand then you strip all the
leaves off because when theleaves get in the water, they
rot and they cause the flower torot early.
I do that.
And then the little packet inthere, but you can also put like
an aspirin in there or a littleteeny dash of vodka, anything
that'll keep the bacteria out ofthe water.
Hess (08:36):
Okay.
Could be.
Delbert (08:37):
friends, rescue those Kroger flowers or any flower
that's on sale.
And.
And just brighten up your house,brighten up your, put it on a
desk, put it somewhere whereyou're going to see it all the
time.
Just remind you that winter'salmost over.
I don't know.
Is anybody's favorite seasonwinter?
Not me.
(08:58):
I can't wait to get to springtime.
Oh my goodness.
Hess (09:02):
Yeah our cousin, my cousin Joey, he lives in Colorado
Springs.
He's going to take his vacationto the Bahamas in April because
he says that's just an inbetween time there.
And the snow's kind of meltingand things are muddy.
Then the weather's not thatgreat there.
And so that's he's gonna, it'sgonna leave for two weeks during
(09:24):
that time.
So this is where we're so manydays before spring.
I think March 21st almost 1month away is the 1st day of
spring.
The grass is starting to greenup just a little bit, but the
mud I'm, I'm looking at mywindow and I look through the
backyard over into the tobaccobarn field where the hay feeder
(09:45):
is in the water.
And it's always really muddyright there because the horses
walk around a lot.
So there's a little bit ofgreen.
So if Delbert, that's what Icould do.
I could pay more attention tothe green versus the mud.
Delbert (10:00):
I think we do.
Just make choices that honor,makes our heart What makes our
heart sing, right?
Just those good things and maybeyou know I always do like a
daily prayer and a dailymeditation But need to make a
(10:20):
post it note somewhere says, youknow remember simple abundance
remember to be joyful every dayand When it's dreary out, it's
are going on.
It's hard sometimes.
But I got my groove back.
I got my bounce back onWednesday.
Hess (10:37):
What helped you get your bounce back, Delbert?
Delbert (10:41):
the kids went back to school, so I think that was the
biggest thing.
And I got to order food for allthe schools like I heard from
everybody.
All of my regular schools that Ihear from heard from all of them
and everybody got the food theyneeded and everybody or was
doing really well.
And, that just lifted me.
And then I did a little springcleaning and just shaken that
(11:05):
winter dust off, just likeshaking it up a little bit and
clearing things out, clear yourspace, energies.
Reside in clutter, right?
So whether it's your house or inyour mind, you've got to shake
those lower energies out.
Hess (11:24):
So when you come in, and it's the end of the day, and you
might even have a little bitmore work to do when you get
home, you'll put your stuff onthe dining room table where you
can see it, and things hadstarted collecting there.
So you filed, you, you clearedout, you, you cleared that
space, and then that helped youfeel lighter.
Delbert (11:46):
exactly.
And then I put some flowers onthe table instead of all those
files and all that paperwork.
And and that really set the tonefor the rest of the week.
And by Thursday felt so muchlighter.
And It was something simple.
Like one of my friends texted methat we were going to go to
dinner with our friends, Loganand Mark.
(12:07):
And it was my friend Shannon.
And she always arrangeseverything.
She's I've got reservations,we're going to see the
newlyweds.
And, and I'm like, Oh, I'm solucky.
You know, I texted you and wetalked about the podcast.
I'm like, wow, I'm so lucky.
I have such a wonderful life.
(12:27):
Wonderful.
Hess (12:28):
So that, that's a good thing too, Delbert, is to have
something to look forward to.
Delbert (12:32):
We've talked about that.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Make sure.
That you're reaching out to yourfriends and family that you're
reaching out to your colleaguesthat keeps a little spark there
that something to look for, evenif you're just meeting somebody
for coffee
Hess (12:49):
Yeah,
Delbert (12:50):
Also, I had so much fun celebrating my birthday.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I went to so manyrestaurants and had so much fun.
Maybe I'm on a little bit of aslide here, but for sure the
biggest thing was the kids I wasworried about.
So I'd come off a fun, fun weekand then had a little bit of a
bummer.
(13:10):
So yeah with worrying about myCarol's kitchen schools and my
blessings and backpack schools,but.
What made you struggle thisweek, Hess what was your bump in
the road?
Hess (13:22):
Yeah what was pretty cool is Monday night.
We celebrated the birthdays atthe barn once a month.
We have games at the barn.
If the weather is in the warmermonths.
And then the winter we go tojalapenos restaurant.
That's our.
Our my neighborhood cheers kindof place where everybody knows
your name.
Delbert (13:38):
I love it.
Love
Hess (13:40):
the very first restaurant when we brought Lucas back from
Guatemala that we went in thereand so they always say Dondé
Lucas Como estå Lucas no eventoday 24 years later.
Yeah, so we had that and Ipicked up Juve and Heidi, his
daughter, Heidi, because Juve'sbirthday was in February and
(14:03):
they went and Juve's sitting atthe head of the table.
Oh, and what is so beautiful, Iwant to tell the listeners this,
because I learned this fromsomebody, you learn from others
who have learned from others,that's what I know, is we do
appreciations.
Delbert (14:20):
that's great.
Hess (14:22):
So at the birthday dinner that night, we had Ellie, her
birthday is in February.
She's a boarder at the farm, ayoung girl so a sophomore at UK
and we had Juve.
And so first we went around thetable appreciating Juve and
there's 10 people sitting aroundthe table and they all say
something they appreciate abouthim.
(14:44):
Oh my gosh.
Oh, it just makes your heartmelt.
And the big smile on Juve'sface, they say, Oh, Juve, it's
so fun to come to the barn andsee your face.
You're always laughing.
You're just so sweet.
The way you take care of ourhorses, the way you care so much
and always rely on you when Ihave a problem, you help, all
this stuff.
And it got around and then, Oh,Heidi, so Heidi, it's your turn
(15:07):
to appreciate your dad.
Heidi says, I love the way thatyou always think about me
Delbert (15:15):
oh.
Hess (15:16):
and
Delbert (15:16):
Oh,
Hess (15:19):
Whoa.
And I looked over to my rightdelbert at Ashley Hudson.
She's sitting at the table.
She's a therapist.
And I look back at Heidi.
I said, Heidi you've got twotherapists here that are crying
right now.
I told
Delbert (15:32):
whoa.
That moment.
Hess (15:34):
you the next day, I said, do you know how important that
is?
And
Delbert (15:38):
Yeah,
Hess (15:39):
Heidi appreciated you for, that is the most important thing
in the world to be seen.
Delbert (15:45):
Wow.
Hess (15:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was so beautiful.
So that was all really cool.
But around the table we'retalking about, oh, yeah, we're
supposed to get maybe seven,eight inches of snow.
And y'all, we've gone throughthat in January.
And these kids have missedschool for a week.
And Pete, you couldn't ride yourhorse.
And anyway, we might just havejust finished melting the snow
(16:08):
in the parking lots from that.
And we're going to.
Supposed to get 7 to 8 moreinches.
And school was called off.
University of Kentucky wascalled off.
We knew all of that.
So that when I woke up Tuesdaymorning, there was no snow on
the ground.
It wasn't as bad as theythought.
(16:29):
The snow and freezing rainstarted about 7 a.
m.
We got two or three inches, butit just stuck around for Tuesday
and everybody's back in schoolon Wednesday.
But I was so happy to see when Iwoke up Tuesday morning that
there wasn't any snow.
Delbert (16:48):
Yeah, we got a little bit, but the wind and the rain
washed it all away.
So it I was so glad that thingsgot a little bit back to normal
on Wednesday.
And then you asked, you weretelling me that you went to see
The sun.
Hess (17:04):
Raisins in the sun.
So that was a little joy, a joycard out there on the shelf that
I was looking forward to.
Cathy got tickets to Raisin inthe Sun.
Delbert (17:17):
That's so cool.
Hess (17:18):
Also, I got to say that I really was glad that the city of
brotherly love won the SuperBowl.
So I was I was feeling goodabout that.
Delbert (17:25):
That
Hess (17:25):
And some people that we were at dinner with Sunday
night, they had seen theWoodford theaters presentation
the night before the raising inthe sun.
And Cathy got tickets for usafter they were talking about
it.
And I had that to look forwardto last night.
And we took a horse friend tothat and her sister, we were
taking Heidi, but she had abirthday party to go to.
(17:48):
So Gail brought her sister,Elaine.
Delbert (17:50):
What a great play.
Hess (17:53):
Yes.
Delbert (17:53):
So beautiful.
And so then we started talkingabout that right before we
started recording and Hesslooked up the original Broadway,
Sydney Poitier.
Oh my
Hess (18:03):
Yeah, it's one of the, it was the very first all black
production on Broadway, folks,
Delbert (18:09):
And so we were talking about when we were going to
Mother of Good Council, a bigmovie that we watched in like
sixth or seventh grade, wasLily's in the Field.
Hess (18:24):
with Sidney Poitier played the main character on Broadway.
And then in the play came out in59 on Broadway.
And then a movie was made of itin 1960, Raisin in the Sun with
Sidney Poitier playing the leadalso.
And so Sidney Poitier was againin this movie later on when we
(18:44):
were in grade school.
Yeah.
But Delbert watch being at thatplay last night and it was
Delbert (18:56):
singing that song from the movie that he had taught the
nuns.
Remember?
Amen.
Sister Maria and Father Flynnlet us sing that in church all
the time.
How lucky were we that we hadsuch cool priests and nuns?
And yeah, we're like, Hey, I, wejust learned this song from this
cool movie.
And let's make it a church song.
(19:17):
They're like, okay, whatever, sowe just start singing it.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Hess (19:27):
an hour, first act, an hour, a second act, hour 15 or
something.
I was squirming all over my seatjust because of the content
about this struggling blackfamily.
Living in South, South side,Chicago down in a basement
apartment and a two bedroom.
And the mom and the 20 year olddaughter sharing a room.
(19:48):
And then there's a littlefamily.
A man the S the son and his wifewere sharing a room and their
son is sleeping on the couch andthey're going to buy they have
an insurance settlement fromtheir dad.
The mom is going to take herhusband's insurance settlement
money and put a down payment ona house in the neighborhood.
And it's a white neighborhood.
(20:09):
And the HOA director from thatneighborhood comes to the house
and says, Hey I'll give yousome, we'll give you all some
money.
If you don't move in there.
Delbert (20:19):
Oh, wow.
Hess (20:20):
Yeah.
All kinds of, all differentmessages and yeah, I was
squirming because it's it wasreal, very good acting.
It was, it supposed, it's one ofthe very best written plays and
it's content will make yousquirm.
It's real and it's real lifesituation.
(20:42):
So anyway, I was looking forwardto that day.
We went, we ate Mexican beforewe went, it was a great meal.
And then I needed to see itbecause you all a good life
doesn't mean that it's not goingto be a hard life also.
Okay.
Yeah.
Delbert (20:59):
Find those little pieces of material and make
something great out of them.
Hess (21:05):
Ooh, look how you circled back to your grandmother.
Delbert (21:08):
Mamaw Dorothy always comes up.
My Aunt Lainey just gave me mymamaw's rosary.
And that really meant a lot tome.
Yeah.
Hess (21:19):
Dorothy's rosary.
Do you remember seeing herpraying on it?
Delbert (21:23):
yeah.
She was very spiritual.
Yeah.
Going to church with her, justsitting next to her, that energy
that I got off of her, it mademe a very strong person.
Very strong.
And my grandkids say, what wasall that gory artwork you were
looking at, in the Catholicchurch.
(21:44):
And I said, ah, I didn't evennotice it.
Maybe I'd, just grown up seeingit birth, Was, but I wasn't cold
to it.
Do you know what I mean?
I wasn't, just, it just affectedme really deeply, the faith that
she had and that she gave to allof us.
Hess (22:03):
You could feel it permeating out from her.
Delbert (22:07):
I could feel that energy, that beautiful, bright,
white light of energy.
I could feel it sitting next toher.
She was so deeply faithful andshe fasted so hard during Lent
that she was always sick onEaster.
We talk about that a lot.
My aunts and I
Hess (22:23):
what about that?
Did the fasting cause her to besick?
Wow.
Delbert (22:29):
she was real small and thin and she would just pray so
hard and fast so hard duringLent.
She'd usually be so like rundown that she'd catch something.
In this, right before Easter.
Hess (22:41):
Didn't charge up.
Wow.
Pick up some old flowers atKroger's and tell the girls
you're gonna give them some newlife.
Delbert (22:51):
all of my papaw's bounce back.
It was pretty lucky to bearound.
like I, I soaked up all of themagic that they were off or
close to it.
I feel like I did reallyappreciate that.
And it's been like a hugeblessing in my life.
They, I was the oldestgrandchild and I was around them
(23:14):
the most.
And so I feel super fortunateabout that, seeing how they were
always so happy, alwaysplanning, always joyful, even
though they really struggledfinancially a lot.
And my grandfather struggled alot with, PTSD World War II.
Always making up stories, alwaysmaking clothing and it's, yeah.
(23:41):
So just remember to.
Bring that into your life.
Make a Valentine, make a youplant a little seedling.
Come on with me, girls.
We're going to have a greatweek.
It's
Hess (24:03):
Delbert, what I gotta say, because I'm still, here's what
I'm gonna say, is I'm stillsitting here by this window,
there's raindrops on the window,we're supposed to get five or
six inches of rain today, butsince I'm noted, since I noted
that the grass is turning green,that's all I see when I look out
there.
I don't see the mud as much, Isee the green grass.
(24:26):
Be sure you notice.
That beautiful little piece ofcloth you can make something out
of or that person that'semanating some good energy, or
something colorful, or somethingthat can bring you joy.
Delbert (24:38):
just any little thing and keep your chin up this week.
Cause winter's almost over baby.
I was listening to NateBarghesi.
He's such a funny comedian.
And he would.
was doing a joke on what we weretalking about, how to train your
brain, to think this is healthyor this is exercise.
And he goes, if you can trickthe dumb part of your brain,
(25:00):
like, how dumb is that dumbside?
Same head knows the conversationgoing on and it still gets
tricked.
How dumb is that?
Yeah.
So I thought that was reallyfunny, but I got a quote has,
Hess (25:14):
Oh, we're going to end in a quote again?
Delbert (25:16):
If you want to, but
Hess (25:17):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:18):
about being happy and I found it Simple Abundance by
Sarah Ban Breathnach.
She does a little writing foreach day and a joyful of list of
things for the each month, buteach day has a little quote.
And so this one says, there's noduty we so much underrate as the
(25:41):
duty of being happy.
By being happy, we sow anonymousbenefits upon the world.
Robert Louis Stevenson.
He's one of my favorites.
We
Hess (25:55):
again.
We sew what?
We get back to, we get back togranny.
And go ahead.
Delbert (26:01):
get back to that piece of material.
So by being happy, we sowanonymous benefits upon the
world.
Hess (26:11):
Love it.
Yeah.
Delbert (26:12):
seeds,
Hess (26:13):
Eminate, emanate out.
Love you podsters.
Thanks for listening.
Be sure to like, and subscribe.
We hit a big Mark after ourinitial start last November of
our pod, we hit a big Mark andwe appreciate you so much for
listening.
Peace and love.
Delbert (26:33):
peace and love.
Hey, welcome y'all back to let me tell you this about that.
I'm Hess.
Delbert (00:08):
Are you live from the white chair, Hess?
Hess (00:12):
I am totally 100 percent live from the white chair,
looking out my window.
It's a gray kind of rainy day.
And here I am.
Where are you Delbert?
Delbert (00:22):
As always, Hess, I am on the green couch looking out
my window.
It is a dreary day and it's beena little dreary here in
Louisville, Kentucky this week.
One of the things we wanted totalk about with you all today is
getting through the winter,right?
We're in the homestretch andwe've had some crazy weather in
(00:47):
Louisville that's just turned uson our heads.
It was beautiful on Monday, niceenough to walk outside without
your coat on.
I took a walk without my coatMonday.
And then Tuesday, it snowed.
my world's been a little upsidedown.
In addition to the weather,we've got so many flus and
(01:11):
viruses on that the kids didn'thave school on Monday just
because there were so manypeople sick.
And then they didn't have schoolon Tuesday.
I was telling Hess that, becauseof what my family's charity does
dealing with childhood hunger, Ireally worry when kids don't go
to school because a lot of thefood that we count on at the
(01:36):
school in our pantries.
blessings in a backpack servestheir food at school as well as
dare to care programs.
And the children who receivedthose services also rely on
those free breakfast and lunchprograms.
And so I just felt reallyworried.
(01:58):
I was telling Hess, I just feltreally worried and scattered on
Monday and Tuesday.
I
Hess (02:04):
Yeah.
So the lowdown is Monday night.
They were expecting all thissnow and bad weather on Tuesday
and was just going to reallypile up.
So here in Lexington, On Mondaynight, they had canceled classes
at the University of Kentucky,and they had canceled public
school classes.
And when did when was thecancellations for the
(02:27):
Louisville, for Jefferson CountyPublic Schools?
When did they announce those forTuesday?
Delbert (02:33):
oh, they did it on Monday as well.
Monday evening.
Hess (02:36):
They did it on Monday.
Delbert (02:37):
Yeah.
And I think probably too, justbecause they had so many people
out sick, they were thinkingthat extra day would help,
Hess (02:46):
Oh, yeah,
Delbert (02:47):
monday and then they did no Tuesday.
And then thankfully everybodywas back on Wednesday.
How about you all?
I asked, were you all back?
Hess (02:55):
Yes, for sure.
We were back on Wednesday.
So Delbert, it makes all kindsof sense that you worry that the
kids don't get food.
They rely on getting that freebreakfast and lunch.
And if there's no school, theydon't get that day.
And when they don't have schoolfor Tuesday and how long that's
going to last, you're worriedabout those kids.
Delbert (03:16):
Exactly.
And that can along with theweather and just the winter
being dark, I think a lot
Hess (03:24):
Yeah, because back in January, when school was about
to start after Christmas break.
The kids were off all weekbecause of a big snow and wow
Delbert there's more days thatyou're worried that those kids
aren't getting breakfast andlunch at least
Delbert (03:41):
know.
So I had just gotten throughthat and everybody was doing
good and I got my sweet cardsfrom my kids at Lane elementary
and everything seemed right.
And then when you think you'vegot everything figured out and
then life throws you a curveball, You really have to try to
keep your balance in life sothat you don't tip over.
(04:01):
I was really struggling.
This past week and I startedthinking about how my
grandmother, who was just alwaysso calm, she was our calm.
She, I say, she was the moon.
Balanced everything out shiningbrightly in the darkness, and
she and my grandfather, theystruggled a lot, money wise.
(04:26):
She could put a meal together.
made all of our.
clothing, like our FirstCommunion dresses, and she could
make a suit for a boy's FirstCommunion, those blue suits they
used to wear.
A baptismal gown.
of course, every time Christmaswas over, she'd start again
(04:49):
making Christmas presentshandmade for all of her 29
grandkids.
she just would restart thiswhole creative process, right?
when I was struggling, I startedthinking about her and then I
grabbed this book off the shelfSimple Abundance.
It's a day book of comfort andjoy.
(05:10):
My friend Shannon and I, ourmoms died really close together
and she's best friend at work.
And our boss's wife.
gave us both this book and westarted reading it together in
2017.
And then in 2018 we reread ittogether.
So I'm like, I need to grab thatbecause need to keep reminding
(05:35):
ourselves even when there's bigthings going on, we've got to
find these simple joys.
We've got to find this.
This happiness and this peace inour life and make something of
nothing.
We live in a state of abundance,regardless, especially for, real
estate agents.
That's a important lessonbecause, we are like a high wire
(05:58):
act, right?
We live on commission.
So you've got to live in thatabundant state of mind.
You can't live in scarcity.
I would say my grandmother, shewould find a little scrap of
material, and she had this cutelittle country accent, she'd
say.
I bought that for a quarter.
Yeah, I bought it for a quarter,and I'm gonna make a dress for
(06:19):
the baby.
So whoever Scrap of material shefound at the store would fit,
she'd make them somethingspecial out of it.
Hess (06:27):
So y'all, this is mama Dorothy, that
Delbert (06:30):
Mamaw Dorothy, yeah.
Hess (06:32):
Dorothy.
I bought that for a quarter.
I'm going to make a, I'm goingto make a dress.
I'm going to make that baby adress.
So she was creating and shewould, after Christmas, she
would begin making everythingagain.
Delbert (06:45):
And crocheting.
And could make her own patterns.
I think I've talked about thatbefore.
So she was a, an engineer, shecould make a pattern out of a
paper bag.
Her own patterns, made all ofour important, clothing.
And so I'm like, that was hermeditation and she was so
fortunate in that, but I reallyneed, cause I'm not creative,
(07:06):
I'm not crafty.
And so I would find littlethings in this simple abundance
book, I'll put.
A bouquet of flowers out or handmake little valentines or, just
give myself something hopefuland pretty to look at.
To get myself through.
And I think it's important whenI.
When we're having a littlesecond, when we're not feeling
(07:30):
all that joy, and we're a littledepressed, it's good to, to and
think about all the things thatmake us happy.
The simple things, doesn't haveto be big, doesn't have to be a
big gesture.
Hess (07:44):
Yeah you you buy the flowers they're about to throw
out at Kroger's and then yousnip them and make them new and
they last another week, right?
Ha!
Delbert (07:52):
like, you're going to be okay, I'm going to take you
home and fix you right up girls.
My friend Stuart he owned afloral shop for a long time and
he said, cut them diagonallyunderwater, give them a sip, as
soon as they're, they take thatbreath,
Hess (08:09):
Whoa!
Delbert (08:10):
Yeah, let it be
Hess (08:12):
So you make that diagonal cut while the tap water's going.
Let them take a drink.
Delbert (08:16):
Yeah.
And they take a drink and thenand then you strip all the
leaves off because when theleaves get in the water, they
rot and they cause the flower torot early.
I do that.
And then the little packet inthere, but you can also put like
an aspirin in there or a littleteeny dash of vodka, anything
that'll keep the bacteria out ofthe water.
Hess (08:36):
Okay.
Could be.
Delbert (08:37):
friends, rescue those Kroger flowers or any flower
that's on sale.
And.
And just brighten up your house,brighten up your, put it on a
desk, put it somewhere whereyou're going to see it all the
time.
Just remind you that winter'salmost over.
I don't know.
Is anybody's favorite seasonwinter?
Not me.
(08:58):
I can't wait to get to springtime.
Oh my goodness.
Hess (09:02):
Yeah our cousin, my cousin Joey, he lives in Colorado
Springs.
He's going to take his vacationto the Bahamas in April because
he says that's just an inbetween time there.
And the snow's kind of meltingand things are muddy.
Then the weather's not thatgreat there.
And so that's he's gonna, it'sgonna leave for two weeks during
(09:24):
that time.
So this is where we're so manydays before spring.
I think March 21st almost 1month away is the 1st day of
spring.
The grass is starting to greenup just a little bit, but the
mud I'm, I'm looking at mywindow and I look through the
backyard over into the tobaccobarn field where the hay feeder
(09:45):
is in the water.
And it's always really muddyright there because the horses
walk around a lot.
So there's a little bit ofgreen.
So if Delbert, that's what Icould do.
I could pay more attention tothe green versus the mud.
Delbert (10:00):
I think we do.
Just make choices that honor,makes our heart What makes our
heart sing, right?
Just those good things and maybeyou know I always do like a
daily prayer and a dailymeditation But need to make a
(10:20):
post it note somewhere says, youknow remember simple abundance
remember to be joyful every dayand When it's dreary out, it's
are going on.
It's hard sometimes.
But I got my groove back.
I got my bounce back onWednesday.
Hess (10:37):
What helped you get your bounce back, Delbert?
Delbert (10:41):
the kids went back to school, so I think that was the
biggest thing.
And I got to order food for allthe schools like I heard from
everybody.
All of my regular schools that Ihear from heard from all of them
and everybody got the food theyneeded and everybody or was
doing really well.
And, that just lifted me.
And then I did a little springcleaning and just shaken that
(11:05):
winter dust off, just likeshaking it up a little bit and
clearing things out, clear yourspace, energies.
Reside in clutter, right?
So whether it's your house or inyour mind, you've got to shake
those lower energies out.
Hess (11:24):
So when you come in, and it's the end of the day, and you
might even have a little bitmore work to do when you get
home, you'll put your stuff onthe dining room table where you
can see it, and things hadstarted collecting there.
So you filed, you, you clearedout, you, you cleared that
space, and then that helped youfeel lighter.
Delbert (11:46):
exactly.
And then I put some flowers onthe table instead of all those
files and all that paperwork.
And and that really set the tonefor the rest of the week.
And by Thursday felt so muchlighter.
And It was something simple.
Like one of my friends texted methat we were going to go to
dinner with our friends, Loganand Mark.
(12:07):
And it was my friend Shannon.
And she always arrangeseverything.
She's I've got reservations,we're going to see the
newlyweds.
And, and I'm like, Oh, I'm solucky.
You know, I texted you and wetalked about the podcast.
I'm like, wow, I'm so lucky.
I have such a wonderful life.
(12:27):
Wonderful.
Hess (12:28):
So that, that's a good thing too, Delbert, is to have
something to look forward to.
Delbert (12:32):
We've talked about that.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Make sure.
That you're reaching out to yourfriends and family that you're
reaching out to your colleaguesthat keeps a little spark there
that something to look for, evenif you're just meeting somebody
for coffee
Hess (12:49):
Yeah,
Delbert (12:50):
Also, I had so much fun celebrating my birthday.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I went to so manyrestaurants and had so much fun.
Maybe I'm on a little bit of aslide here, but for sure the
biggest thing was the kids I wasworried about.
So I'd come off a fun, fun weekand then had a little bit of a
bummer.
(13:10):
So yeah with worrying about myCarol's kitchen schools and my
blessings and backpack schools,but.
What made you struggle thisweek, Hess what was your bump in
the road?
Hess (13:22):
Yeah what was pretty cool is Monday night.
We celebrated the birthdays atthe barn once a month.
We have games at the barn.
If the weather is in the warmermonths.
And then the winter we go tojalapenos restaurant.
That's our.
Our my neighborhood cheers kindof place where everybody knows
your name.
Delbert (13:38):
I love it.
Love
Hess (13:40):
the very first restaurant when we brought Lucas back from
Guatemala that we went in thereand so they always say Dondé
Lucas Como estå Lucas no eventoday 24 years later.
Yeah, so we had that and Ipicked up Juve and Heidi, his
daughter, Heidi, because Juve'sbirthday was in February and
(14:03):
they went and Juve's sitting atthe head of the table.
Oh, and what is so beautiful, Iwant to tell the listeners this,
because I learned this fromsomebody, you learn from others
who have learned from others,that's what I know, is we do
appreciations.
Delbert (14:20):
that's great.
Hess (14:22):
So at the birthday dinner that night, we had Ellie, her
birthday is in February.
She's a boarder at the farm, ayoung girl so a sophomore at UK
and we had Juve.
And so first we went around thetable appreciating Juve and
there's 10 people sitting aroundthe table and they all say
something they appreciate abouthim.
(14:44):
Oh my gosh.
Oh, it just makes your heartmelt.
And the big smile on Juve'sface, they say, Oh, Juve, it's
so fun to come to the barn andsee your face.
You're always laughing.
You're just so sweet.
The way you take care of ourhorses, the way you care so much
and always rely on you when Ihave a problem, you help, all
this stuff.
And it got around and then, Oh,Heidi, so Heidi, it's your turn
(15:07):
to appreciate your dad.
Heidi says, I love the way thatyou always think about me
Delbert (15:15):
oh.
Hess (15:16):
and
Delbert (15:16):
Oh,
Hess (15:19):
Whoa.
And I looked over to my rightdelbert at Ashley Hudson.
She's sitting at the table.
She's a therapist.
And I look back at Heidi.
I said, Heidi you've got twotherapists here that are crying
right now.
I told
Delbert (15:32):
whoa.
That moment.
Hess (15:34):
you the next day, I said, do you know how important that
is?
And
Delbert (15:38):
Yeah,
Hess (15:39):
Heidi appreciated you for, that is the most important thing
in the world to be seen.
Delbert (15:45):
Wow.
Hess (15:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was so beautiful.
So that was all really cool.
But around the table we'retalking about, oh, yeah, we're
supposed to get maybe seven,eight inches of snow.
And y'all, we've gone throughthat in January.
And these kids have missedschool for a week.
And Pete, you couldn't ride yourhorse.
And anyway, we might just havejust finished melting the snow
(16:08):
in the parking lots from that.
And we're going to.
Supposed to get 7 to 8 moreinches.
And school was called off.
University of Kentucky wascalled off.
We knew all of that.
So that when I woke up Tuesdaymorning, there was no snow on
the ground.
It wasn't as bad as theythought.
(16:29):
The snow and freezing rainstarted about 7 a.
m.
We got two or three inches, butit just stuck around for Tuesday
and everybody's back in schoolon Wednesday.
But I was so happy to see when Iwoke up Tuesday morning that
there wasn't any snow.
Delbert (16:48):
Yeah, we got a little bit, but the wind and the rain
washed it all away.
So it I was so glad that thingsgot a little bit back to normal
on Wednesday.
And then you asked, you weretelling me that you went to see
The sun.
Hess (17:04):
Raisins in the sun.
So that was a little joy, a joycard out there on the shelf that
I was looking forward to.
Cathy got tickets to Raisin inthe Sun.
Delbert (17:17):
That's so cool.
Hess (17:18):
Also, I got to say that I really was glad that the city of
brotherly love won the SuperBowl.
So I was I was feeling goodabout that.
Delbert (17:25):
That
Hess (17:25):
And some people that we were at dinner with Sunday
night, they had seen theWoodford theaters presentation
the night before the raising inthe sun.
And Cathy got tickets for usafter they were talking about
it.
And I had that to look forwardto last night.
And we took a horse friend tothat and her sister, we were
taking Heidi, but she had abirthday party to go to.
(17:48):
So Gail brought her sister,Elaine.
Delbert (17:50):
What a great play.
Hess (17:53):
Yes.
Delbert (17:53):
So beautiful.
And so then we started talkingabout that right before we
started recording and Hesslooked up the original Broadway,
Sydney Poitier.
Oh my
Hess (18:03):
Yeah, it's one of the, it was the very first all black
production on Broadway, folks,
Delbert (18:09):
And so we were talking about when we were going to
Mother of Good Council, a bigmovie that we watched in like
sixth or seventh grade, wasLily's in the Field.
Hess (18:24):
with Sidney Poitier played the main character on Broadway.
And then in the play came out in59 on Broadway.
And then a movie was made of itin 1960, Raisin in the Sun with
Sidney Poitier playing the leadalso.
And so Sidney Poitier was againin this movie later on when we
(18:44):
were in grade school.
Yeah.
But Delbert watch being at thatplay last night and it was
Delbert (18:56):
singing that song from the movie that he had taught the
nuns.
Remember?
Amen.
Sister Maria and Father Flynnlet us sing that in church all
the time.
How lucky were we that we hadsuch cool priests and nuns?
And yeah, we're like, Hey, I, wejust learned this song from this
cool movie.
And let's make it a church song.
(19:17):
They're like, okay, whatever, sowe just start singing it.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
Hess (19:27):
an hour, first act, an hour, a second act, hour 15 or
something.
I was squirming all over my seatjust because of the content
about this struggling blackfamily.
Living in South, South side,Chicago down in a basement
apartment and a two bedroom.
And the mom and the 20 year olddaughter sharing a room.
(19:48):
And then there's a littlefamily.
A man the S the son and his wifewere sharing a room and their
son is sleeping on the couch andthey're going to buy they have
an insurance settlement fromtheir dad.
The mom is going to take herhusband's insurance settlement
money and put a down payment ona house in the neighborhood.
And it's a white neighborhood.
(20:09):
And the HOA director from thatneighborhood comes to the house
and says, Hey I'll give yousome, we'll give you all some
money.
If you don't move in there.
Delbert (20:19):
Oh, wow.
Hess (20:20):
Yeah.
All kinds of, all differentmessages and yeah, I was
squirming because it's it wasreal, very good acting.
It was, it supposed, it's one ofthe very best written plays and
it's content will make yousquirm.
It's real and it's real lifesituation.
(20:42):
So anyway, I was looking forwardto that day.
We went, we ate Mexican beforewe went, it was a great meal.
And then I needed to see itbecause you all a good life
doesn't mean that it's not goingto be a hard life also.
Okay.
Yeah.
Delbert (20:59):
Find those little pieces of material and make
something great out of them.
Hess (21:05):
Ooh, look how you circled back to your grandmother.
Delbert (21:08):
Mamaw Dorothy always comes up.
My Aunt Lainey just gave me mymamaw's rosary.
And that really meant a lot tome.
Yeah.
Hess (21:19):
Dorothy's rosary.
Do you remember seeing herpraying on it?
Delbert (21:23):
yeah.
She was very spiritual.
Yeah.
Going to church with her, justsitting next to her, that energy
that I got off of her, it mademe a very strong person.
Very strong.
And my grandkids say, what wasall that gory artwork you were
looking at, in the Catholicchurch.
(21:44):
And I said, ah, I didn't evennotice it.
Maybe I'd, just grown up seeingit birth, Was, but I wasn't cold
to it.
Do you know what I mean?
I wasn't, just, it just affectedme really deeply, the faith that
she had and that she gave to allof us.
Hess (22:03):
You could feel it permeating out from her.
Delbert (22:07):
I could feel that energy, that beautiful, bright,
white light of energy.
I could feel it sitting next toher.
She was so deeply faithful andshe fasted so hard during Lent
that she was always sick onEaster.
We talk about that a lot.
My aunts and I
Hess (22:23):
what about that?
Did the fasting cause her to besick?
Wow.
Delbert (22:29):
she was real small and thin and she would just pray so
hard and fast so hard duringLent.
She'd usually be so like rundown that she'd catch something.
In this, right before Easter.
Hess (22:41):
Didn't charge up.
Wow.
Pick up some old flowers atKroger's and tell the girls
you're gonna give them some newlife.
Delbert (22:51):
all of my papaw's bounce back.
It was pretty lucky to bearound.
like I, I soaked up all of themagic that they were off or
close to it.
I feel like I did reallyappreciate that.
And it's been like a hugeblessing in my life.
They, I was the oldestgrandchild and I was around them
(23:14):
the most.
And so I feel super fortunateabout that, seeing how they were
always so happy, alwaysplanning, always joyful, even
though they really struggledfinancially a lot.
And my grandfather struggled alot with, PTSD World War II.
Always making up stories, alwaysmaking clothing and it's, yeah.
(23:41):
So just remember to.
Bring that into your life.
Make a Valentine, make a youplant a little seedling.
Come on with me, girls.
We're going to have a greatweek.
It's
Hess (24:03):
Delbert, what I gotta say, because I'm still, here's what
I'm gonna say, is I'm stillsitting here by this window,
there's raindrops on the window,we're supposed to get five or
six inches of rain today, butsince I'm noted, since I noted
that the grass is turning green,that's all I see when I look out
there.
I don't see the mud as much, Isee the green grass.
(24:26):
Be sure you notice.
That beautiful little piece ofcloth you can make something out
of or that person that'semanating some good energy, or
something colorful, or somethingthat can bring you joy.
Delbert (24:38):
just any little thing and keep your chin up this week.
Cause winter's almost over baby.
I was listening to NateBarghesi.
He's such a funny comedian.
And he would.
was doing a joke on what we weretalking about, how to train your
brain, to think this is healthyor this is exercise.
And he goes, if you can trickthe dumb part of your brain,
(25:00):
like, how dumb is that dumbside?
Same head knows the conversationgoing on and it still gets
tricked.
How dumb is that?
Yeah.
So I thought that was reallyfunny, but I got a quote has,
Hess (25:14):
Oh, we're going to end in a quote again?
Delbert (25:16):
If you want to, but
Hess (25:17):
Yeah.
Delbert (25:18):
about being happy and I found it Simple Abundance by
Sarah Ban Breathnach.
She does a little writing foreach day and a joyful of list of
things for the each month, buteach day has a little quote.
And so this one says, there's noduty we so much underrate as the
(25:41):
duty of being happy.
By being happy, we sow anonymousbenefits upon the world.
Robert Louis Stevenson.
He's one of my favorites.
We
Hess (25:55):
again.
We sew what?
We get back to, we get back togranny.
And go ahead.
Delbert (26:01):
get back to that piece of material.
So by being happy, we sowanonymous benefits upon the
world.
Hess (26:11):
Love it.
Yeah.
Delbert (26:12):
seeds,
Hess (26:13):
Eminate, emanate out.
Love you podsters.
Thanks for listening.
Be sure to like, and subscribe.
We hit a big Mark after ourinitial start last November of
our pod, we hit a big Mark andwe appreciate you so much for
listening.
Peace and love.
Delbert (26:33):
peace and love.
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