Comedian Antonia Lassar self-identifies as 60% Jewish, 30% Chronic Illness and 10% Bisexual chaos and recently their standup addressed embracing the term disabled. “Prior to this, I was like, ‘Yes, I’m exhausted all the time. Yes, when I lie down, I choke on my own stomach acid. Yes, I don’t poop.’ But that’s not because I’m sick. I was like, ‘That’s because I am morally inferior.’”
During this set, Antonia’s crowd laughed, but Antonia shines in their ability to take truth and push the envelope one more time. “And I know that you might hear all those symptoms and be like, ‘Obviously that’s an illness and not moral decay’ but you are seriously understanding my Jewish capacity for self-blame. Okay, I’m like, ‘What about my diet and lifestyle caused the Holocaust?’”
Before coming to LA to focus on their career as a comedian, Antonia toured college campuses addressing sexual assault with their work, Post Traumatic Super Delightful. Antonia is a victim of sexual assault and in their work they utilize comedy to challenge the expectations of the perfect survivor. “Trustworthiness is big. They need to have the education level that we believe that they are trustworthy enough to actually speak accurately about their experience. And a lot of my work really dives into this critique of our expectations of the perfect survivor.”
In their interview, Antonia takes us through the challenging, and sometimes devastating, path to create art after falling apart. “Suddenly, my body totally broke down and it was, to me, a message from the heavens being like, all right, this has gone on long enough. You're literally killing your body at this point. You need to get your art back together.”
Highlights from Antonia:
“For some artists and for some people like me who's mental health, when it deteriorates, it manifests as me stopping to produce. But just getting art and writing out of me is a health behavior. It keeps me healthy to keep getting art out of me. Also, physically, like when I'm unhealthy, I can't poop. You know, they feel very tied in my body. It's like, I've got to get my art out. I've got to get my shit out. It's all got to come out.”
“So, I mean, it was crazy. It was such an unusual experience to watch your body stop working, you know? And I started getting so malnourished, because I literally wasn't able to eat food over two years, that's how long this took. But I finally got to the point where I felt ready to put my work out into the world. I have been putting a lot of sketches and comedy content out on social media, which to the outside observer, I think just looks like any regular comedian putting sketches on social media. But for me, it's like the tail end of this epic healing journey. And, it's a really important step and it's been really healing just to finally get it out.”
“I just moved to LA which is also a big part of this journey. I moved to LA to fully invest in my career as a comedian and it's so exciting and also as soon as I got here, all of my physical and mental health flared up and I immediately felt all the old patterns come back. You know, not wanting to create, not wanting to put myself out there as well as just physically having a hard time. So, it is not linear. All these things are because I took this big next step on the path. It triggered this big kind of backslide. Yeah, it's not like a clean and simple process. It's taking a long time.”
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you back to Season Two of letperfect burn.
My guest today is comedianAntonia Lassar, who self
identifies as 60% Jewish 30%chronic illness and 10% Bisexual
chaos. And recently, their standup addressed embracing the term
(00:48):
disabled. Antonia says, prior tothis, I was like, Yes, I'm
exhausted all of the time. Yes.
When I lie down, I choke on myown stomach acid. Yes, I don't
poop. But that's not because I'msick. I was like, that's because
I am morally inferior. This gota big laugh from her audience.
Before coming to LA to focus ontheir career as a comedian,
(01:10):
Antonia toured college campusesaddressing sexual assault with
their work post traumatic, superdelightful. Antonia is a victim
of sexual assault. And theyutilize comedy to challenge the
expectations of the survivor.
She says a lot of my work reallydives into this critique of our
expectations of the perfectsurvivor. In their interview,
(01:34):
Antonia takes us through thechallenging and sometimes
devastating path to create art.
After falling apart. She sayssuddenly, and my body totally
broke down. And it was to me amessage from the heavens being
like, alright, this has gone onlong enough. You're literally
killing your body. At thispoint. You need to get your art
back together.
(01:58):
Hi, everyone, welcome back tolet perfect burn. I'm Tara
Beckett, and I'm so glad you'rehere again. With me today is
Antonia Lazar. And I reallywanted to have Antonia on this
show because I found her onInstagram. And she listed
herself as a comedian, a hottie.
With her content being 50%,Jewish 40% chronic illness and
(02:22):
10% Bisexual chaos. So I justneed to know more Antonia.
That's quite an intro. So canyou give us a sense of who you
are?
Antonia Lassar (02:36):
Isn't it helpful
to to have a mission statement
that gives percentages of yourpersonality? Perfect. Yeah,
that's how I like to lead. Soit's Yeah, I mean, it's exactly
what it is. I'm a comedian, butI own and I'm extremely hot.
(02:58):
And, and, yeah, right now, Imean, I have these topic areas
that I'm very excited about, andespecially on social media, they
really reward you if you have aniche. So I'm more than these
things. But on social media, Ido a lot of I make a lot of
Jewish comedy, and I amobviously Jewish. And I make a
(03:24):
lot of chronic illness content,too. I would love to make even
more because I am chronicallyill, but the Jewish stuff gets
rewarded by the algorithm rightnow. And I'm playing that game a
little bit. And, and then I'mbisexual. So you know, it's,
(03:45):
it's chaotic, and, and who knowswhat, what's gonna happen 10% of
the time.
Tara Beckett (03:51):
So Antonia, I
would love for you to talk about
you know, when you mentioned,especially with your chronic
illness. Can you walk us througha breaking point in your life?
Antonia Lassar (04:04):
Oh, yeah. Let's
go. Let's get into this. It's,
it feels like my last few yearshave been totally consumed with
chronic illness and, andannouncing myself as an official
comedian has totally come out ofthat. So you're catching me at
like, exactly this inflectionpoint out of the drama. So this
(04:29):
is well time Chera. And, andyeah, so for the last few years,
I've been extremely ill at thebeginning of the pandemic.
Something happened to my bodyand I just stopped being able to
eat and digest food. And it wascoming back up but it was not
(04:52):
leaving me it was everythingjust like completely shut down.
And as soon as it started I hadthis, like spiritual awareness
that this is a metaphor for mycreative life. Like I knew it, I
knew it immediately because Iwas creatively constipated. Just
(05:12):
like I was, just like, I was sophysically constipated. And it,
you know, in into this, I wascreatively so constipated that
my creative soul was dying, justlike my physical self started to
do. And I had, I had previouslybeen working in theatre and
comedy and, and two years ago, Iwas sort of at the end of almost
(05:38):
five years of just not creatinganything because I was so
paralyzed by fail the idea offailure, like I had all of this
success, and I didn't know howto top it, I didn't know how to
keep it going. And I was worriedthat the next thing I would
write wasn't going to make memoney, the way the previous
things had, and like, wasn'tgoing to be as respected as the
(06:01):
previous things had been. And,and I just, like, I just stopped
slowly, over time, I juststopped and, and fell out of
love with, with making withcreating art, and didn't really
know what I was doing. And sothen, you know, suddenly my body
(06:26):
totally broke down. And it was,to me like, a message from the
heavens being like, alright,this is, this has gone on long
enough, you're literally killingyour body. At this point, you
need to get your art backtogether. I mean, I was like,
really paralyzed by this fear ofnot making enough money, not
(06:48):
making as much money on the nextproject as I had on the previous
projects, which were totallysustaining me financially. And
that not getting as much respecton those projects as the last
ones that had gotten and slowly,I just stopped creating, it
didn't all happen in one day, itwas like, the creative process
(07:11):
became harder and harder. Anddeadlines started getting blown
past and I got a day job. Andsuddenly, it was like I looked
up and I was just not being anartist and a writer anymore.
(07:37):
You know, I don't think I havefound clarity. It's all of this
stuff is in retrospect, inretrospect, I can now see that
I've made all of these choicesthat have really helped. But
like, as you can hear, in themoment, I'm processing so much
stuff that I don't know what todo with. And, and I know that if
I had heard something like it'simportant to find clarity in
(08:01):
like, what keeps me healthy andhappy. I'd be like, Well, fuck
me. Like, I'm never gonna figurethat out. Like, I don't know
what
Tara Beckett (08:09):
is fair, fair.
Antonia Lassar (08:13):
And, and there's
like, a lot of value in just
sort of blindly and hopefullyrunning towards something that
feels like it might work out.
There's this quote, gosh, Tara,I'm all over the place right
now. You've really caught me. Ilove it. Like it's messy
processing time of life. Yep.
(08:36):
The but there's this quote thatreally gave me a lot of comfort.
A couple of months ago when Iwas deciding to, like, go for
this career as a comedian. Andit's by Richard Branson, who
sucks, but it's a great quote.
He was like talking to somebusiness students and saying
(08:59):
that everyone thinks that youneed to know the direction
you're going, and then go inthat direction. And he talks
about the phrase, Ready, AimFire. And he says, that's sort
of the traditional businessmodel that you get ready, you
aim at what you want, and thenyou go for it. And he was
(09:19):
encouraging these students toswitch it to ready, fire, aim.
Get ready, do the training,learn something, and then just
start firing. Just start runningin all the directions you can
and you will find an aim throughthat. I think for someone like
(09:43):
me, that was really helpful tohear because I get so paralyzed
by fear and indecision and likethe idea that I could be running
in the wrong direction. And itwas so much comfort to me to
hear That sometimes running inall the directions is still the
right choice. And that, thatI'll find something from that.
Tara Beckett (10:09):
I think what it
is, too, is just different
personalities, right? Like, whenyou were talking about, you
know, kind of firing all overthe place, and that finds you
comfort, I'm having a panicattack over here, don't I mean,
so I think it's like interestingto sort of know, what is your
process of, you know, figuringsomething out or exploring
something that, you know, letsyou be open to it. So, it's
(10:31):
interesting to acknowledge howdifferent we are in trying to do
the same thing.
Antonia Lassar (10:37):
I love that,
that's, that feels so juicy,
because I'm, I get so cautiousaround all kinds of advice,
because all kinds of advice areuseful for some people and
incredibly unusable for otherpeople. And this is such a good
example
Tara Beckett (11:06):
as you were
letting go of these pieces of
your artistic self, was itcoupled with like an anxiety or
depression, like a numbness? Canyou kind of speak to like, what
was happening as these pieceswere falling away,
Antonia Lassar (11:21):
it's totally,
it's, I am more depressive than
anxious, and, you know, andofficially got the diagnosis and
everything. So I, I reallystruggle with depression a lot,
and I take medication for it,which is so helpful. But my
depression is, is it numbing islike, try, I try and just
(11:48):
escaped the world and escapewhatever I'm doing, and I become
really lethargic. And so I was,it felt like that was happening,
like I was losing energy, towrite and to perform. And, and,
also, like, I mean, this tookyears, so there was all of this
(12:12):
sort of mental gymnastics goingon of like, you know, artists go
through these fallow periods,you need to, you need to take in
as much as you put out, andthere was so much, like, I was
just constantly fighting torationalize what was happening.
(12:32):
And to, like, justify this stateof being where I just felt like
I couldn't write at all. And Ithink a lot of those things are
true for people and, and artistsdo need to go through these
fallow periods, and they need toconsume as much as they put out.
(12:54):
For some artists, and for somepeople like me, who's like,
mental health, when itdeteriorates, it manifests as me
stopping to produce just gettingArt and Writing out of me is
(13:15):
it's like a health behavior. Itkeeps me healthy, to keep
getting getting art out of me.
Also, you know, and I mean,physically, like, when I'm
unhealthy, I can't poop. Youknow? Like, it's, if they feel
very tied in my body, it's likeI gotta get my art out of gotta
(13:35):
get my shit out. It's all got tocome out.
Tara Beckett (13:41):
Yes, yes, you
can't hold it anymore.
Antonia Lassar (13:44):
No, and some
people and you know, some people
struggle with the other, theother side where they just can't
stop making and they can't slowdown. They can't stop pooping.
And I just have a differentbalance you know, so so that was
that was how that that sort oflike descent into depression
(14:09):
went and and like I said,happened so slowly and I was
trying to rationalize the entireway down. And then two years ago
my body just, you know, totallystopped working and it felt like
a lightning bolt saying, this isthis has gone on long enough.
(14:29):
You're literally dying here. Youknow, your creative heart has
been dying. And now yourphysical body is joining in and
something really needs tochange.
(14:51):
am such a good talker that Ilike I Think I spun the
narrative for everyone over theall of those years, that
everything was okay. And thatthis was what I wanted to be
doing. You know, oh, no, it's Ilove that I have this day job
(15:14):
because it takes the pressureoff of my art to make me money.
I love that I am, like, just,you know, in this period of
taking in art, as opposed tomaking it. I think like, I mean,
I was trying to convince myselfthat, I really believe that. And
I think I did convince a lot ofpeople, everyone around me that
(15:38):
I didn't believe that. And I waskind of the only one who knew
how much I really did notbelieve that. And also,
especially when you get reallysick people in your life tend to
be, you know, concerned aboutyour physical health, and less
(15:58):
excited to talk about how youjust need to start writing
comedy, and then your body willbe better and they're much more
interested in like, maybe youshould go to the hospital. So,
so I was basically obsessed withthis idea of like, my, my
artistic soul, and everyone elsewas like, You need to go to the
(16:20):
gastroenterologist.
Tara Beckett (16:22):
Right? And would
you say there's probably a combo
there? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Antonia Lassar (16:29):
Oh, 100%. They,
they both needed serious health
and healing. Yeah, it wasn't. Itwas like, maybe if I had
realized this was happening fiveyears prior, I could have fixed
everything by just healing myartistic soul. But at that
point, things had gotten direenough that I needed a lot of
(16:51):
doctors on the case.
Tara Beckett (16:53):
So talk us through
that, like, Finally, you're at
that point, like you say, youare dying, like, what is that
transition period look like?
Antonia Lassar (17:02):
So, I mean, it
was crazy. It was, it was such,
it's such an unusual experienceto watch your body stop working,
you know, and I and I startedgetting so malnourished, you
know, because I mean, Iliterally wasn't able to eat
food. And I was, you know, justphysically I was living on a
(17:25):
liquid diet. And every meal wasthis like Herculean effort to
just get through it. And, and mybrain power really started
declining, because that is whathappens when you're just not
getting enough nutrition. And Ihad no energy at all. So what
(17:49):
happened was, I went on medicalleave from my job. And at the
same time, my husband got aNintendo Switch. And and this is
really important, even though itseems unlikely. On his switch, I
(18:14):
had heard about this game AnimalCrossing, and I had never played
video games ever in my life. ButI'd heard this game Animal
Crossing was kind ofinteresting. And I basically had
absolutely nothing to do all dayother than, like, sit on the
couch and waste away. And so Iwas like, desperate for
something to do. And I startedplaying Animal Crossing. And it
(18:38):
was so captivating, and, like,fully immerse myself in it. And
to explain to your listeners whodon't know what Animal Crossing
is, here's the concept. So you,you now are the caretaker of a
(18:59):
desert island, and you get toindustrialize it, which is so
dark, but it's very cute. Andyou you basically get to design,
the aesthetics, the outsideaesthetics of this island, and
then the inside all the littlebuildings. It's all aesthetic.
This is like one big artproject. And I basically played
(19:24):
Animal Crossing for eight hoursa day for about six months. And
in between doctor's visits. Andwhile that was happening, I also
for the first time gave myselfpermission to completely stop
creating now I had not beencreating but this was the first
(19:48):
time I I gave myself fullpermission. I was like, I'm you
know, I'm dying. I don't I likefinally, really am totally off
the hook to write ate art tomake anything. And
simultaneously, I was, like,immersed in this full time art
(20:10):
project designing this virtualIsland. And at the time, I
didn't realize what washappening. But afterwards, I
like, I was wondering why myartistic self felt so fulfilled.
And I was like, I'm not doinganything. And then I realized
that this Animal Crossing wasgiving me my first outlet in
(20:33):
years to just make something,make something beautiful, just
for fun. And it was like, it wasthe feeling that I had, as a kid
making plays, and, and writingpoems, and just doing it all
because it was like beautiful,and it felt so good to make.
(20:57):
Right. So that's what AnimalCrossing did for me, and I love
it so much. And then I have atherapist, and I've been working
with her the whole time. Andonce I sort of brought that to
her, I was like, I think I'mready to also start adding in
(21:19):
writing. And I, we went throughthis unbelievably methodical
process that took two years.
Whereas Wow, a couple months,just writing in my journal every
day, which was terrifying. Imean, I was so like, triggered
by the act of writing of being aplaywright that just writing in
(21:40):
my journal was, like,terrifying. Wow. And so do that
for a couple months. And then Istarted writing something
creative, every day, anythingcreative, not for public
consumption. And then I learnedabout tick tock, and I started
(22:01):
writing one sketch to put ontick tock every day, not to show
anyone just writing it in myjournal, I did a couple of
months of that month. And then Idid a couple more months of
filming some of those sketches.
(22:22):
Again, there was no promises I'dever have to show anyone, I was
just making them. And, you know,over two years, that's how long
this took finally got to thepoint where I felt ready to put
them out into the world. And Ithink that's how you found me
was, I have been putting a lotof sketches and comedy content
(22:47):
out on social media, which, tothe outside observer, I think
just looks like any regular youknow, comedian, putting sketches
on social media. But for me,it's like the tail end of this
epic healing journey. And, andit's a really important step.
(23:09):
And it's been, it's been reallyhealing just to, to finally get
it outit's hard for me to tell where
I'm at, in my process. In themoment, it's much easier for me
(23:33):
to look back at the debris in mywake, and piece together a
narrative of that. Yeah, so soI'm not sure things feel, feel
unsettled. Physically, I'm stillkind of in a flare and, and
dealing with that creativelywith things I don't know that
(23:55):
things feel weird right now.
I'm, I'm entering like the filmindustry, which I've never
worked in before. I'm dealingwith this whole process of
getting agents. And also, Idon't have any friends in this
city. It all feels kind ofexcruciating, to be honest. And
(24:24):
I'm trying really hard to focuson like these tiny moments of
pleasure. I mean, tiny like,wow, this much it tastes nice or
like, yeah, like, wow, I cleanedmy room. That's, that's sort of
where I'm at right now.
Tara Beckett (24:46):
Fair. Well, I'm
excited for you though, because
it feels like it's an excitingstep. And you're here. That's
good. You know? Yeah, I thinkyou have all that experience to
know like things are flaring up.
Antonia Lassar (25:00):
Yeah, exactly.
And I at least have beenbuilding the tools over the last
two years, both physically,creatively, mentally, to deal
with all of those flare ups. Andyou know, and also, that's all,
that's just sort of my internallife, you know, the external
markers of success are goinggreat here. Like, I'm choosing
between agents right now, whichis really exciting. I'm doing a
(25:23):
ton of Stand Up shows I've gotI'm on a UCB House team right
now. And all of that happened intwo months. So it's, things are
going, you know, the externalmarkers of success are being
met. But I don't give them asmuch importance as like, my
(25:47):
internal peace, health andhappiness. You know.
Tara Beckett (25:53):
That's why is this
shit dude? Like, really? You
know? Yeah. Why not? Yeah,really. So to switch gears just
a little bit, Antonia, I want totalk about your work with sexual
violence prevention, and justwalking us through, you know,
(26:15):
what kind of work were you doingand why you're so passionate
about it? Yeah,
Antonia Lassar (26:21):
this is really
one of my favorite things to
talk about. So before, before,all of this, like sort of
crumbling, I was having thisamazing career. Touring a solo
show called Post traumatic,super delightful to colleges and
(26:42):
theaters all over the country.
And it was a show about sexualviolence on college campuses.
And it used a lot of comedy,really, to sort of humanize what
that kind of process looks like,in the Title Nine department,
what does the process look likefor the survivor? What does it
look like? For, you know, theaccused the perpetrator? What
(27:04):
does it look like for thebystanders who are just sort of
tangentially brought in, andthat, I mean, that came out of
my own history of being asurvivor of sexual assault, and
also a history of watching othersurvivors deal with the college
administrative process. And, andit was very clear to me when I
(27:32):
was going through it, when I waswatching my friends go through
it, that it was hugelyproblematic. And I knew that I
wanted to do something on it.
And eventually, once I leftcollege and spent a good few
years really digesting what hadhappened, then, then I made this
show. And there's like a realhunger for, for this
(27:56):
conversation on collegecampuses, especially in a way
that makes students actuallywant to talk about it,
especially young men, you know,on sports teams, and in frats.
And so that was really like a,one of my big target audiences.
(28:19):
And, and I ended up you know,along the way, becoming really
educated in sexual violenceprevention, and then in turn
educating other people and Ispoke at a bunch of conferences
on sexual violence prevention,the Minnesota and the Minnesota
Association for the treatment ofsexual abusers. So that's a
(28:45):
different angle. But I workedwith them and they were amazing.
And that was kind of my pastlife in theatre. And now, now
that I am coming back to, tocreating again, it feels like an
unfinished book that I'm comingback to. And I'm really excited
(29:09):
to keep making specificallycomedy, about this whole rape
culture and process of sexualviolence prevention and
adjudication, especially oncollege campuses.
Tara Beckett (29:24):
Yeah, it's, I
think I need one more step here.
Because what about comedy allowspeople to access this idea of
sexual violence.
Antonia Lassar (29:36):
It's such a good
question because it's, it's it's
like, we've seen so muchhorrible, devaluing comedy of
making fun of survivors ofsexual violence, and especially
especially making fun ofsurvivors of sexual violence. So
(29:58):
the idea of have come Findingcomedy with this subject, I
think is really triggering for alot of people. And the one
really big obvious benefit ithas is that comedy makes
everything easier to talk about.
You know, everyone would preferto go to a comedy, and would
(30:18):
prefer to laugh and feel good.
It's just like, we just seek itout. And, and it's kind of I
think of it as like, an enormousweapon that you can point at
different different subjects, ormaybe a weapon feels so
(30:42):
militaristic, and enormousspotlight goes to, to illuminate
the things that you want tobring people's attention to. So
comedy is just like, inherentlyattractive, but also think when
it's targeted in the right way.
Laughter specifically,especially in a live audience.
Laughter is so validating,because it's this, like,
(31:07):
unconscious, physical responseto recognition, you know, and
especially survivors who are sounvalidated, not validated,
several word that combines thosetwo that is invalidated,
(31:28):
invalidated, validated, thatsounds right. survivors who are
so invalidated by by the publicdiscourse, it's so powerful to
be in a big theater of peoplelaughing in a recognition of
your experience. And I focus alot in this work on our
(31:50):
expectations on the perfectsurvivor, you know, this needs
that we we sort of have thisexpectation, it needs to be
someone who we trust oneverything, someone who is like
worthy of our respect, someonewho, you know, is,
trustworthiness is big. So likethey they need to have the
(32:16):
education level that we believethat they are trustworthy enough
to actually, like, speakaccurately about their
experience. And a lot of my workreally dives into this critique
of our expectations of theperfect survivor. And so when
you when you can be in anaudience, we're all laughing in
(32:36):
recognition. Of that, it'sreally validating, I think.
Tara Beckett (32:47):
And, Tony, I would
love to hear from you. You know,
if you were to look back on thisAntonia, who hadn't gone through
that, you know, five years ofletting her art go and, you
know, illness, and you'relooking at that younger self?
What would you say to her?
Antonia Lassar (33:09):
Okay, so, I,
when you initially told him
about this question, I think itwas something like your 18 year
old self. And, and that's whatI've really been visualizing
with this. Yep. I mean, my 18year old, my 18 year old self,
like, was absolutely consumed bythis worry that I wasn't hot.
(33:39):
And I mean, consumed, like,everything I did was like, am I
physically hot enough? Or is mytalent hot enough? Like, am I
and to me, like hotness, andsexiness and beauty was really
(33:59):
equivalent to just worth as ahuman being, you know? So and,
and what I think is, like sodelightful, is that I look and
act very similar now. 31 as Idid when I was 18 I mean, my
(34:25):
clothing hasn't changed thatmuch. I like really don't look
very different. And yet, I havediscovered how like, what a
freaking hottie I am and andthat's been also through like
the process of having a longterm relationship where I feel
like celebrated and adored allthe time. And it has released
(34:50):
that worry of like, Am I worthyenough to be desired and And I
would just love her to see menow so that she could see like,
oh my god, like, you're not evenshaving your legs anymore. And
(35:11):
you feel so hot, like her stilljust as sweaty as I am. And you
feel so hot. Like, yeah, just Ijust want her to see the
possibility that maybe nothingchanges on the outside. But
(35:33):
internally, there's thisenormous capacity for change.
And like, you know, selfadoration and celebration.
That's what I really want her tosee that there is that
possibility because I'm hopingthat it would shave a couple
years off of getting there, ifshe realized that we would
(35:53):
eventually get there
Tara Beckett (36:10):
this has been
amazing. Antonia, I'm so excited
that you get came on. And beforewe go, I would love for you to
speak to us about what letperfect burn means for you.
Antonia Lassar (36:21):
Oh, yeah. Okay,
I've been thinking about this
all week. So it's, at first, Iwas really tangled up in the
idea. And I couldn't figure outwhy because I really love this
idea of like, acknowledging thatperfection. Like, can, like
(36:50):
might not even exist, and that'sthe thing, let perfect burn was
really fucking me up because thephrase itself, to me when I
first hear it feels like it'simplying that there is perfect,
right? That there is a perfectthat can burn. And that's what I
was getting so stuck on becauseI think I feel so much comfort
(37:17):
as, as someone who hasperfectionist tendencies, I, I
combat those with this, likewarm and fuzzy feeling that
perfect will never exist. And soI was like, How can I burn
something that doesn't exist,it's getting very tangled up in
(37:39):
this. So so I'm not, I'm notsure what it means to you when
you wrote that that title. ButI've been able to meditate on it
all week and just be delightedby this idea of perfect, not
(38:00):
even existing, that whateverwe're burning was never perfect
to begin with. And so it doesn'tmatter if we burn it all down
because it was never perfect.
And whatever we build out of itis not going to be perfect. And
we don't have to be so preciousabout these things that are
never going to be perfect.
Tara Beckett (38:24):
Thank you,
Antonia. I am so excited you
were on. Thank you so much forbeing here. And definitely I
can't wait to see what you doand what you create out in this
new space. And it's exciting towatch
Antonia Lassar (38:43):
you. Thanks me
do I wonder what I'm gonna do
out here. I'm very excited to bea little comedian, officially
out in the world.
Tara Beckett (38:54):
I love it. Well,
you take care and we'll be in
touch. Thank you so muchAntonia.
Antonia Lassar (38:59):
Thanks, Tara.
Unknown (39:06):
Perfect