Season 1 Finale of Let Perfect Burn

Only 9 months ago now, I was leaving a psychiatric hospital, the moment in my life that inspired me to create this podcast. The laughter and the joy during these months on Let Perfect Burn were moments where my depression lightened, because I felt full- I was having these intimate, rewarding conversations with my guests. 

These women on the show were real, they were vulnerable, they were raw, they were gracious, they were funny, they made me laugh (hard) and they made me feel so very alive every single time I stepped in studio.

And while we say goodbye (just for now) I want to leave you with every guest from Season 1 reminding us that when you let perfect burn, what’s left can be really, really, beautiful.

Episode Transcript

Tara Beckett (00:23):
Hi, I'm Tara Beckett, and welcome to the
season one finale of let perfectburn.
Season One of this podcastfeatured 16 women, brave enough

(00:43):
to tell their stories to you, mybeloved let perfect burn
community. These women werereal. They were vulnerable. They
were raw, they were gracious,they were funny. They made me
laugh hard. And they made mefeel so very alive every single
time I stepped in studio. I amso grateful to these women. And

(01:07):
I am so grateful for youlisteners. I got all of your
messages and texts and words inperson that made me so proud
that this podcast had met one ofmy greatest goals for you to
find a little moment from one ofthe women that made you feel
seen and heard. I hope that whenyou heard guest stories, you

(01:30):
knew you were not alone in yourbreaking points and pain, that
there are broken pieces and eachand every one of us. We are
beautiful, imperfect humansdeserving of grace in our
failures, and joy in ourvictories great and small. A few
weeks ago, one of my listenersasked me, Do you still struggle?

(01:53):
Because you seem so funny andenergetic on the show? Like did
you figure out your mentalhealth? Know only nine months
ago now, I was leaving apsychiatric hospital, the moment
of my life that inspired me tocreate this podcast. Since that

(02:16):
moment, I have been workingclosely with my outpatient
therapist and psychiatrist. Yousee, the hospital was only the
beginning. I have broken overand over again in this time. And
only just recently do I feeltrue and healthy light coming
into my body. The laughter andthe joy during these months on

(02:41):
let perfect burn wasn't mehiding my struggle. But
actually, there were momentsthat my depression lightened.
Because I felt full. I washaving these intimate, rewarding
conversations with my guests.
This process has been so painfulfor me. And also so empowering
and clarifying. But no, I willnever stop struggling. The

(03:06):
difference is now I can look atmy struggles in a way that
reminds me. I am a human beingand not dirty, shameful garbage
because I am not perfect. Moreimportantly, I am living my life
with more love and moreprotection over the woman inside
of me. Now I love her too damnmuch to ever leave her behind

(03:31):
again. For Season Two of letperfect burn. I am really
interested in putting someserious fire under this shows
ass. And what I mean by that isI want to bring you the stories
of women who may have beenperfectly sitting quietly until
something broke open and toldthem it was time to get loud. I

(03:51):
want you to hear from activists,women and femmes making the best
kinds of trouble. And those whoare fed up and are organizing to
make our country and our worldbetter than we frickin left it.
I want to hear from womenrunning for office as much as
the women organizing phonebanking parties in their

(04:12):
apartment to get out the vote.
There is no act too small whenacting on behalf of the greater
good. If you are one of thesewomen, or if there's a woman or
femme in your life that we needto hear from please email me at
let perfect [e-mail] orhit me up on Instagram at let

(04:34):
perfect burn. And while we saygoodbye just for now, I want to
leave you with every guest fromseason one, reminding us that
when you let perfect burn,what's left can be really,
really beautiful.

Alicia Hunt (04:52):
I absolutely love that you've got a podcast that's
dedicated to just tearing downthe concept of doing things
perfectly. appointment,especially as women, we are just
so indoctrinated to doeverything perfectly. And I am
absolutely no exception to thatrule. I just want to get
everything right all the time.
And I'm so hard on myself when Idon't you know, and it's been

(05:14):
such a long process of learningto be kind to myself when things
don't go perfectly, and justsort of let that what I don't
even know where that image comesfrom. Where are you this perfect
idea of how everything's youcould perfectly on what does
that even gone perfectly? Ifit's never happen?

Michelle Cove (05:38):
Well, I love the phrase so much. It's so relevant
in a timely in our culture. Youknow, of all my many issues. I'm
sure, perfection itself isn'tone of them. But what I can say
is that in I guess just on theheels of what I just said about

(06:01):
authenticity, and watchingpeople and myself grow, like
that's where the juicy goodstuff is. I never want to stop
growing. You know, I knowthere's going to be more
Crossroads moments, and I don'tdread them. I yearn for them.
Like that's how we find out whowe are. And perfect says to me,
I'm done. I've arrived, I nailedit, like how friggin boring to

(06:24):
be there. Like, what are yougoing to do now?

Kate Eckstein (06:27):
Woof, letting perfect burn. This is big. Yeah,
I think letting perfect burn isfor me this image of what I have
left behind, like, like westarted out talking about on the
show, like the things that Ihave shed, those are the things
that I have let burned, and Ihave let them burn away, I have

(06:48):
let them disappear. You know,sometimes they still come back
up. But letting the the perfectthat I thought I needed to be go
allows me to be at peace withwho I am with what's left, you
know, like so you've let thingsgo. And it's just this, this

(07:10):
feeling that what's left is theright thing.

Cloteal Lee Horne (07:13):
For me, it comes by way of like, honoring
my real, like my story, youknow, I've done so much of like
trying to fit into very whitespaces, hiding my cousin's and
all of them, you know, as ablack woman perfect has meant
has like been a white standardin some ways, as opposed to

(07:36):
like, just who I really am, youknow who I am with my
grandmother, I am with mycousin's who I am with my
siblings, and my friends, ratherthan feeling like I have to be
this performative version ofmyself to, to exist to be
validated. You know, so to me,like, that's the biggest like,

(07:59):
let perfect burn, let that go.

Joanna Silverman (08:13):
It allows me to find my personal authority, I
get rid of all the stories ofwhat I picked up on what I
should be. And I get to comehome to what it is, I want to
be. And if we could find thatpersonal authority. It's, it's

(08:36):
so freeing, actually. Right? Itprovides freedom because in
every moment, you know thatyou're living a life, a
meaningful life,

Caroline Talbot (08:51):
the whole like letting go of just like we all
put these labels on the box thatwe live in, we put ourselves in
a box, we all do it. And Ialways tell everyone, I'm not
going to change the box thatyou're standing in. If you're a
brunette, I'm not going to makeyou blonde. If you have dark
skin, I'm not going to give youlight skin. If you're older, I'm
not going to make you younger.
If you're curvier I'm not goingto make you thinner. If you're

(09:12):
thinner, I'm not going to makeyou curvier. But I'm going to
show you that the labelsbeautiful, sexy, strong,
awesome, kind, all these thingsthat you think are mutually
exclusive to the labels you puton yourself. I'm going to just
take a big ol sharpie and writethem all over the box that you
put yourself in to realize thatthey belong there.

Eleri Ward (09:33):
It means that if you have the choice
between living your life andbeing perfect, you should choose
living your life.

Sarah Tomakich (09:46):
And I saw I think what let perfect burden
means is I needed myperfectionism. It helped me it
protected me from some thingsthat happened to me. But now I
don't want to be I don't want tolive as protected. any war. And
so I think the idea of itburning is that idea of it
slowly eroding away the ideathat whatever's underneath is

(10:09):
who I want.

Katy Downey (10:13):
Not perfect burn means to me, is burning away the
societal rules that have beenimprinted on us on every way.
What is perfect to me, it's notperfect to you, but it might,
you know, the differentgenerations have a different
category of what's perfect. Soperfect is not a destination.

(10:36):
And you're going to be strivingfor it for so long. And that was
that's what leads to burnout.
Instead of you burning yourselfout to be perfect, burn perfect,
and just be yourself.

Alyssa Keegan (10:49):
I wrote this really beautiful answer to that
question. And I was thinkingabout that. While I was
preparing for today, and itoccurred to me that like, that
was true the day that I wroteit. And today is a different
day. And the truth is thatperfect is a part of me. Perfect

(11:18):
is a helpful part of me. But itis not the part that should
always be leading. And soletting perfect burn, rather
than it being something to getrid of to disintegrate. I wonder

(11:44):
if it's something like a tool,use when necessary. With
consciousness and deliberateagency, that perfect burn

Paige Clark Perkinson (11:59):
means burn it down. Just burn it all
to the ground. There's so muchgoing wrong in the world right
now. There's so much trauma andstruggle and hardship for
everyone. Don't add more toyourself by hold holding

(12:21):
yourself to this standard ofquote unquote perfect.

Lorraine Shedoudi (12:25):
And it's so interesting that you say that
yesterday had a prettychallenging day. It's all the
things of like, Am I doing itright? Is this ever going to be
what I want it to be? And so Ifelt like maybe there was a
moment where I said, maybethere's something that's dying,
maybe there's some image ofperfection, or a need for
something is just passing away?
And can I feel it and let it go.

(12:49):
So I think you're right, there'sa lot to learn in that idea of
maybe we're just sharingsomething. And the experience
that you went through isconfronting all the things that
we're probably told that we'renot allowed to feel or look at
or experience and how can we goright toward that and get the
support that we need. So thatsomething within us, you know,

(13:10):
the perfection burns away, andthere's room to really be
genuine and real in themessiness of life.

Alex Highsmith (13:28):
I think, for me, wet perfect burn means let all
of my preconceived notions go.
Because in my mind, whateverI've decided the future is or
whatever I've decided my ways isperfect. That's, that's why I

(13:50):
decided it. That's why Ienvisioned it. But as I get
older and more sober, I realizedthat I envisioned it that way,
because that's what I know.
That's just that's what I'veseen. That's what I know. And I

(14:12):
don't know very much.

Christine Hamel (14:15):
Oh, I don't know, I think it's like I think
maybe at this point, it has alot to do with grieving, letting
things go allowing myself tolose what I had and letting
something may be born you know,I think that's that's probably
what it is like a little bit ofPhoenix like I think that sense
you know, like, Why hold on likeyou know, there just isn't there

(14:38):
isn't time for that there's timefor other things but not for
that

Hannah Husband (14:41):
it's actually healthy to burn the wrong
structures to the ground andthere's a way that like
righteous anger which isgenerally something that was
like not allowed for me and myfamily of origin and I think is
not permission a lot for femmesare people socialized female in
our We're all like, we need thatactually. It's like a really

(15:04):
cleansing force in our beings. Ialso love the left part, right
because again, that's about notdoing it's like let it burn. So
slow, let the things that aren'tfor you let the effort that
you've been pouring yourselfinto that isn't serving you let

(15:26):
it go up in flames and then youhave that beautiful clean slate
perfect

Unknown (15:48):
perfect