September 4, 2025 • 38 mins
Send Naihomy encouraging words!💕
When your partner thinks you're being "too extra" about clean eating, it creates tension that can make you question your own body signals and health choices. This relationship dynamic is part of a larger societal pattern where women's health concerns are often dismissed or labeled as dramatic.
• Cultural sayings like "I eat anything" served previous generations but don't work in today's processed food environment
• Males don't experience the same hormonal fluctuations as females, making it harder for them to understand food sensitivities
• Partners often question if organic or healthier options are worth the extra cost
• The learning curve of reading labels and changing habits can cause friction in relationships
• Seeing your positive results often convinces reluctant partners to join your health journey
• Having conversations about aging well together can shift the perspective from "picky eating" to long-term health investment
• Your body's signals matter more than anyone's opinions about your food choices
• Most partners eventually come around when they see improvements in your energy, mood, and overall wellbeing
• Creating a support system through coaching helps navigate relationship challenges during lifestyle changes
Send me a DM on Instagram or book a consultation call with the link in the show notes to learn how one-on-one food and hormone health coaching can help you take charge of your health while maintaining harmony in your relationship.
Thank you so much for listening!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello friends and welcome back to the episode.
I am really excited abouttoday's conversation and also a
little nervous, because I'mopening up in an area where I've
talked a lot about, but it'smostly in private conversations
(00:20):
with friends, family or, most ofall, with my clients, whether
it's on consultation calls or onour coaching calls.
This topic usually always comesup if you are in a relationship
.
Okay, today we're going to talkabout when your partner, your
(00:44):
husband, whoever you're in arelationship with things you're
being so extra about ingredients, clean eating, the foods you're
all of a sudden choosing to eator not to eat, and this can
cause a lot of tension orfriction or a learning curve,
(01:04):
things like that because most ofthe clients I'm working with
have been in relationships for avery long time and all of a
sudden, my client wants to makesome changes and their partner
is either not on board or theydon't understand why.
(01:24):
They think you're doing themost and you're spending too
much money and they just don'tsee the value in it.
And I'm going to keep it realhonest.
Like those kinds of thingshappened in my relationship as
well when I was starting mywellness journey, and I'm going
to be sharing a few reasons whythis might be happening, a few
(01:49):
tips of how I have approached itand to give you hope that it is
possible for your partner, yourhusband, to join you on this
journey.
Some of my clients theirpartner sees no reason why
you're doing the most, and forsome of my other clients, their
(02:09):
partners do get it and theyencourage it.
So what happens when yourpartner is not supportive from
the start?
And I think is a reallyimportant conversation to be
having.
I think that usually when weget into a relationship and and
you know we're choosing apartner there's a lot of things
that maybe or maybe not arespoken about things like
(02:33):
politics, religion, how you wantto like, whether you want to
have children or not, how youwant to raise kids, finances,
and I know that most often, likeI think the people now like
they're getting this kind ofadvice and they're on it, but no
one was telling me oh, youshould talk to your partner
about finances, you should seeif they're in debt, you should
(02:55):
see how you're not, like thosekinds of things were not
happening.
But I do want to add to thelist that health and wellness is
very important and the otherthing is that what about if you
start with one set of values?
What about if you start with acertain lifestyle and then years
, years, years later you want tochange that?
(03:17):
Okay, and this is mostly wherethe conversation's going,
because in a new relationship,you're probably having these
kinds of conversations.
But if you've been in arelationship and you want to
change your lifestyle, maybeyour partner's not going to be
super on board with that.
So let's start talking aboutwhy this is important.
(03:42):
Okay, when we start to feel that, in fact, our lifestyle and the
way that we're eating and theingredients that we're putting
in our bodies and the foods thatwe're choosing is affecting how
we're feeling, and you're beingcalled out as dramatic, you're
(04:04):
being dismissed, you're beingundermined, it really makes you
question yourself Like, am Igoing crazy?
Am I really feeling this?
And you start to really reallyquestion the body, the signals
that your body's giving you, andyou might even consider like,
am I being too much?
Am I just like overreactingover these certain things?
(04:25):
And it creates further distrustfrom ourselves and from our
bodies because from the start,we are taught kind of like to
disassociate, like from our ownbodies and just act and feel and
basically act in a way where itserves other people, like to
(04:49):
keep your parents happy and tokeep your teachers happy and to
make sure that your boss ishappy.
So whatever you have to do andhowever you feel, you kind of
put that to the side to makesure that the people around you
are happy.
And it kind of happens in ourrelationships as well, with our
significant others, right?
So you're getting to this pointwhere you just really want to
(05:12):
take care of yourself.
And now here comes the doubtagain of being dismissed or
being called too much.
So this is not just an issue, ormight be an issue, with your
partner.
It is really a societal issue.
The entire industry is made upof questioning women and how we
(05:33):
feel, so much so that so muchresearch has not been done on
women because they say we aretoo complicated.
Oh my gosh, we get themenstrual cycle.
It's so hard to track, theyhave so many emotions.
So from day one we're beingdismissed.
(05:55):
Okay, from the medical industrydoing research on us.
And this is why sometimes weare so underserved, because a
lot of the research that's outthere is based on men or white
men on top of that, and it'sreally hard to advise on certain
(06:16):
medications, on certain habits,when we don't take the big ass
nuance of being female, okay,it's, it's huge.
So, starting from there, it'smore of of a societal issue.
So our poor partners, in acertain way, like we're just
swooped into this, even women,our own selves, we self dismiss
(06:39):
or gaslight, because again,we've had that happen from so
many people.
And then here we are just likequestioning ourselves, right?
So in the past, women have beencalled hysterical or too much or
dramatic, or women are toldthat they it's, it's the PMS not
(07:01):
understanding really theimplications of that.
Or it's because you'reoverweight.
If you just lost some weightyou would not have all these
issues.
Well, you're probably goingbecause you're having a hard
time losing weight in the firstplace.
You're told that, oh, it's sonormal, it's because you're
aging.
So in a space where we have toadvocate so fier much for you
(07:49):
especially, I'm going to speakfor, like I'm Dominican, right,
or maybe Latino culture ingeneral there are these things
that we say about food that yourpartner might've grown up with
as well and I know I did and mypartner did where they say
things like yo como lo que sea Ieat anything.
(08:11):
Or yo si no soy exigente, I amnot picky, and those are
statements that are worn as abadge of honor of not being
picky with food, eating anythingand everything.
And you know what thosecomments really did serve our
older generations, especiallywhen they were living back home.
(08:33):
Maybe food was scarce.
They didn't have the choice orthe privilege to be picky and be
choosy about what they wereeating, because there was
probably one meal a day or twomeals a day being cooked.
Maybe food was scarce.
They didn't have as many foodresources and abundance as we
(08:54):
have now.
So being picky with your foodmeant you weren't eating, not
eating anything and everythingthat was being made.
Well, then you weren't eating,and then you were just going to
be hungry, right?
The thing is, too, that themeals that were being made back
in the day were mostly probablyorganic food, as close to the
(09:19):
earth, with more of anutritional value than what's
happening now present day.
So not being picky with yourfood and eating anything and
everything can get you inserious trouble just because of
how our food environment haschanged and our living
(09:41):
environment has changed.
All of that plays a huge rolein our health.
So if you're eating anythingand everything and there's a ton
of fast food, a ton of friedfood, sugary foods and all that.
It's not going to end well foryou.
Okay, it's not.
(10:01):
So when we do not realize thatour foods have changed, the
amount of food has changed.
Uh, our living environmentshave changed.
All of that.
How damaging these comments thatwe grew up with, that we held
with a badge of honor, with alldue right and respect in that
(10:24):
certain circumstance, can bereally hurting us now.
So it's not just the mindsetshift for you around this, it
also is encouraging a mindsetshift for your partner.
And sometimes, as you know,that is really hard to do,
especially when we don't knowhow to explain these things, how
(10:47):
to do the bigger picture,because all of a sudden you're
just being picky for no reasonor you're just being, let's say,
super specific about how you'reeating, to be complicated.
But it's not about beingcomplicated, it's really about
breaking through the food noise,breaking through all of the
(11:08):
different options.
Now, like, literally, foodpollution that is happening.
What actually is real food andnot real food?
And by not real food, I meanfood that has zero nutritional
value inside, that you just putin your mouth and it does
nothing for you, but your bodyhaving to clean that up.
So I'm going to get into thetips later, but one of the
(11:31):
things that really starts tosupport is the education piece
and the communication piece asto why these kinds like, why
you're deciding to make thesechanges.
Another thing to consider, andthat is really important in this
topic, is that you aredifferent sexes, right?
(11:53):
Males do not have the sameamount of hormonal volatility,
literally, and hormonal seasons,as females do.
So Because you know howsometimes, because someone is
not experiencing something, theyinvalidate your experience.
(12:15):
I think that, unintentionally,that happens a lot of times
where your partner might eatsomething and they're fine, or
they don't have certainexperiences, or they're feeling
okay in their body, or they'refeeling okay in their body, and
(12:36):
then that all of a sudden meansthat you don't have the space to
feel differently, right, thatyou don't experience different
physical reactions based on thequality of food that you're
having, the amount of food thatyou're having, when you're
having different foods.
And it can really be hardbecause that is, you know how
(12:56):
they say, like hiddendisabilities or something where
it is much more harder forsomeone with a hidden disability
to be believed and to behonored and to be accommodated.
That is kind of similar where,if you're not breaking out in
hives, if you don't have eczema,if you're not going full on
(13:19):
anaphylaxis, then you arequestioned in how you're feeling
.
But maybe the foods that you areeating is making you feel
terrible.
Maybe it is causing bloating,it is giving you migraines and
mood swings and foggy mind andit's making your periods worse
and it's making your periodsirregular.
(13:41):
Maybe that's leading intoinfertility.
All of like food is so powerful.
Food is communication and beingcurious as to how food is
affecting you is a real dealthing.
And again, our partners if theyare males, they're not dealing
with the amount of hormonalvolatility that we are and our
(14:06):
food dictates a lot of what ourhormones do.
And because our hormones areconsistently shifting as we get
our period every month, they'regoing up, they're going down,
they're switching off andthey're coming back.
And if you're pregnant or you'renot pregnant, if you're going
into perimenopause like havingchildren is is a choice for lots
(14:29):
of people, right?
So you might not experiencethat, but every female will
experience perimenopause andfood has a lot to do with those
things and how you feel in yourbody, right, like the bloating
and how you feel in your clothes, and even if your partner is
experiencing some of thesethings, maybe it's not bothering
(14:52):
them as much as it's botheringyou.
Or they don't even realizeoftentimes that the reason why
they're not feeling well intheir body is because of how
they are eating.
They're eating, and this iswhere stepping in with budgeting
(15:40):
or understanding how you wantto spend your money can be
useful, because oftentimesthere's just certain foods that
you need for you to feel well.
So it's like this question ofwhat are you willing to
sacrifice?
Where are you willing to budgetto get the things that you need
(16:02):
?
Or maybe you just make somesimple adjustments to start off.
But it's important to start theconversation, see how you guys
might want to address thistogether.
And it's not just even aboutgroceries.
It can also be about eating outright, like maybe you used to
(16:22):
go to certain restaurants beforethat no longer honors you and
it always gives you a stomachache for three days and gives
you diarrhea or constipation orall these other things, and
you're like damn, I don't likefeeling this way.
I don't like having to recoverfor a whole week after going to
this restaurant.
Okay, but as you're startingyour journey, there is a
(16:45):
learning curve time and thatmight come with some judgment,
right.
I know when, when I firststarted on this wellness journey
, I used to spend so much timein the supermarket, in the
grocery store, because all of asudden I was not choosing.
Whatever product I used to grabbefore, whatever product I grew
(17:10):
up seeing in my house, Igenuinely wanted to know the
ingredients that were inside.
And then, if I didn't like thator it was not aligned with the
journey I wanted to be on, thenI went through the labels of all
the other products, becausethere's like a gajillion
different tomato sauces or pastasauces or yogurts or things
(17:32):
like that.
So I would go through all thelabels.
And there was a point where mypartner was like you're going to
the supermarket by yourselfbecause you're spending so much
time in here, and he would be soannoyed and we had two little
boys with us, right, and it'sreally tough.
So sometimes I would go and doa headstart in the supermarket
(17:53):
or I would go by myself, becauseI really did understand that I
was spending like an extra hourin there going through the food
labels and don't worry like youdon't need to do all of that,
like in health coaching.
This is exactly what I supportmy clients with to speed up the
process and I help you findthose products that you need so
(18:17):
you're not spending an extra twohours in the supermarket like I
was.
But it was a it was likecontention for us because we
would always do groceriestogether and he was like I ain't
staying here all this time.
Why can't we just like grabwhat we normally grab and go?
And it was because makingdifferent food choices was so
(18:38):
important to me.
I started to see what big of animpact the food had on me.
I was on a weight loss journey.
I was losing weight quickly,not because I was doing anything
else, but really focusing onhow I was eating and doing
exercise.
(18:58):
Another piece, right going backto the money thing, is how much
of a waste of money buyinghigher quality food is.
It's like why can't you getthese hot dogs versus those hot
dogs?
It's like an extra $5.
Or why can't we just get theregular strawberries instead of
the organic ones, right?
Why do we need organic food?
(19:19):
And it's up to everybody'sdiscretion whether they want to
buy organic or not.
I know that there's a list ofthe dirty dozen where it's
highly recommended you getorganic because of the types of
pesticides that are used.
And then there's another listcalled the Clean 15, where you
don't necessarily need to graborganic versions of those types
(19:42):
of produce.
And, trust me, sometimes I goback and forth, depending on
what's available, how it looks.
Generally I try and get organicberries and things like that,
but for other things I'm totallyfine getting regular.
Is it a waste of money or not?
Well, a lot of the research andthe information out there
(20:04):
really points to how thepesticides are really messing
with our hormonal health, right,and if we want to go deep into
the research as to where and whyand all that, that's cool.
And there's a lot of questions.
Is the food even really organicor not?
That is up to your discretion.
(20:25):
But if you find that buyingcertain organic produce really
helps you feel better,especially certain kinds of
meats or raw produce that youcan't really peel or anything
like that, like berries, then isit really a waste of money when
(20:45):
it actually is helping you feelbetter?
And especially for, um, animalbased products, how they're
feeding and treating theseanimals, okay, and you know,
what I don't think is a matterof being high maintenance to
avoid certain ingredients or toavoid certain kinds of foods.
(21:07):
I know I got a lot of feedbackfrom my family of how picky I
was and how like uppity I wasbecause I was not no longer
eating whatever everybody elseate or wanted to go to the
restaurants everybody else wasgoing to.
But the truth is that I wouldsee it.
(21:27):
First of all, I would know howsick I would feel and I did not
enjoy feeling that way, like Ididn't want to throw up from how
sick I felt, just because Ididn't want to say no to someone
else or not to be called highmaintenance.
I really honored the fact thatthey didn't have to understand
(21:49):
the journey that I was on or why.
Because guess who's the onlyperson that experiences being
sick in my body?
It's me.
Okay, it's me.
I am the person who has to dealwith feeling so unwell because
no one else is in my body.
So I owe it to myself to honorthe ingredients I'm having and
(22:12):
the foods I'm having, so that Idon't feel like absolute crap.
What I also notice is how otherpeople did feel like crap after
they ate whatever they wanted.
They would have headaches, theywould be so bloated they would
have to reach for theAlka-Seltzer and the
Pepto-Bismol and the Gasex andthe lemon con baking soda and
(22:34):
the seltzer waters and theginger reels and all of that and
they would have diarrhea andthey would have constipation and
they just did not understandhow it all ties together.
And your partner may or may notbe experiencing some of these
certain things and it's justbringing it to the consciousness
of like dude, the stuff that weeat really affects how we're
(22:58):
feeling.
Okay, and sometimes it can feelreally isolating to to have
these health choices in your ownhome because your ride or die
all of a sudden is like you'redoing the most and you're height
maintenance now and why can'twe just eat the regular food?
I always like to say to honorthat you changing is also change
(23:23):
for them.
Okay, I don't think it's rightfor anyone to be disrespectful
if that's what's going on, butthey are allowed to be in their
feelings too, because you'rechanging your relationship
dynamic, especially if it'ssomeone who just does not want
to tag along in this journey.
I know many husbands who'vetagged along with their wives or
(23:45):
their partners when they'reworking with me and it becomes
this whole family affair.
Like the husbands are reallyinterested and are really
excited for the fact that theirpartners are working with me and
they get to benefit so muchfrom the changes that are
happening, because, all of asudden, there are different
(24:07):
products being introduced, thereare different choices being
made in a way that still fitstheir relationship, okay.
So, yes, maybe it might feel alittle bit isolating, and this
is why it's so important to havesupport until your partner
comes around, to have somebodyto speak to about this, to have
somebody who's been through asimilar experience, and that is
(24:31):
exactly me.
My partner, again, did not wantto be in the supermarket forever
.
He liked what he liked.
There was a ton of food that hedid not eat.
He did not eat broccoli, he didnot eat avocados, he did not
eat actual beans, he did not eatgreen beans, mushrooms, like a
lot of different vegetables.
Trust, trust me, I didn't eatthose either.
(24:53):
It's just that I started thisjourney and I went with it
before he was on board and can Itell you that he is like the
one requesting veggies andmaking sure that our kids are
making choices that are alignedwith their health.
So that's another thing whereit becomes kind of like a little
(25:16):
kind of rough patch, where it'slike, how do you pass along
this information to your kids,if you do have kids?
Because there might be oneparent who's like, oh, free for
all.
And then the other parents like, no.
I want to start reallyencouraging generational health
here.
So, slowly but surely, withcommunication, with seeing how I
(25:42):
was feeling and the results Iwas getting and all that, he
started to come around as well.
And now he eats a ton ofvegetables and again he
encourages a lot of our healthyhabits on our children.
And it just took some time.
And guess what I was not doing,I was not being pushy, but I
was being encouraging.
(26:03):
So and I also was curious.
I was like why don't you eatgreen beans?
And he's like, oh, because Itried them in school and they
were gross.
And I'm like, yeah, thosecanned green beans are not that
great.
No wonder why you didn't likethem.
And you guys get to probablyhave a connection over that,
because you probably had schoolgreen beans too, or you've seen
(26:25):
them, even in Cracker BarrelDon't even get me started on the
restaurant.
So you know I would be like, oh, I understand that.
I would be like you know what Iroasted these green beans?
They're nice and fresh and theytotally do not taste like
canned green beans from school.
And he would taste them andhe'd be like, oh okay, these do
(26:47):
taste good.
And then that's how you startto get them to come around.
Okay, that was one tip.
So I want you to recognize andvalidate that your body's
response to food is a validinformation, is valid data.
It is a valid communicationthat your body is having with
(27:12):
you, and it is totally like thetime not to continue ignoring it
, not to continue gaslightingyourself or invalidating your
experience, because everyonearound you is like you, just
being too much.
It's okay for people to thinkthat and it's okay for you to
(27:37):
know exactly why you're doingwhat you're doing.
And this is why I think it's soimportant to create evidence
for yourself, to create a strongwhy and to create a support
system, because when you are theone in your household, in your
friend group, in your family,really understanding the
importance of these changes andhow it's affecting how you feel
(28:01):
physically, your emotions, evenyour soul, then to have someone
who understands is extremelyvaluable.
And don't worry, eventuallypeople will come around, okay.
This is why, in coaching,coaching is so important and why
(28:22):
my clients have gotten suchamazing results, because not
only do we go through the foodeducation piece, we also go
through managing difficultsituations.
Now, I'm not no therapist ormarriage counselor.
This is not what we're doinghere but it's holding space for
(28:43):
what you might be experiencingand it's maybe giving advice as
to how it's worked for me or inmy situation and maybe pointers
on how to talk about it, thatcuriosity point of view and all
that, and also really opening upwhat are things you can talk
(29:06):
about that might bring to lightwhy this is so important.
And these are things that wediscuss in coaching.
Like, maybe it is looking atyour family history together,
maybe it is this new discussionof how you would like to live
your lives together.
A lot of things that peopledon't think about, couples don't
think about, is aging, and ifyou want to age together, what
(29:28):
would that look like?
We talk a lot about it in termsof retirement and having money
for retirement, but what aboutyour physical health?
How are you going to actuallyenjoy that money as you get
older?
How are you going to protectyour health the both of you so
that you guys can both have anice quality of life as you get
(29:52):
older.
Those things are important todiscuss, just as important as
how is your 401k looking like?
Those conversations should gohand in hand.
Are you going to use all thatretirement money on medical
bills or are you going to usethat retirement money living up
your best life, however thatlooks like for you?
(30:14):
So it is to both of youradvantages.
And if you're a little nervousor scared of starting off, trust
me, when your partner starts tosee how vibrant you feel, how
good you're looking, how muchenergy you have, how, like, how
much more you want to beintimate, like all these things,
(30:35):
then it really starts to likesink in for them most of the
time, especially to when itcomes to conversations around
the kids and all that Like.
It really boils down to a lot oftimes deep kind of breaking
apart how we grew up becausethat's where we take a lot of
(30:55):
our information from like thehabits, the sayings that we grew
up with and how maybe they nolonger apply to our current
circumstance and it being okayto make a difference and why
that is so important.
Why does that go beyond thescale?
Why does that go beyond justlooking good?
(31:15):
What does that mean?
To feel good and to be able tomove well and to be able to have
energy as you age, experiencingtogether.
You know like all of this is soimportant.
So starting your wellnessjourney, starting coaching, is
(31:36):
not just for you, it's actuallyfor your family and sometimes
you know, people don't need to100% understand the journey or
why, but they could probablyrespect it because it is really
important to you and because, atits core, again, it is your
(31:58):
experience in your body, andsomeone who does not get a
period, who does not bearchildren, who does not go
through perimenopause, who isnot living in your body.
I don't know.
I don't know how much of thatshould influence your decision
(32:21):
to help yourself be healthier,to help yourself feel better, to
really know and understand thatyou want to make these changes
and you need the support to goahead and do that.
Okay, when I first started,there were so many changes
happening because all of asudden, I started to go to the
gym regularly and I started toeat different and all that.
(32:43):
And there was all the comments.
Right, there were all thecomments or the frustrations,
but you know what?
Again, everybody eventuallycame around, not just my partner
, but other family members thatwere like damn, I want to have
results too, I want to learn too, I want to feel better too.
(33:04):
Or I went to the doctor andthey told me about my blood
pressure, about my blood sugar,about my guts, about all these
things, and now I'm ready tolisten.
Okay, so you can be that person.
You can be the healthy Latinathat starts to influence your
(33:25):
family, to influence yourpartner in such a positive way.
Influence your partner in sucha positive way and knowing your
why and having your supportsystem AKA coaching, where you
can reach out to me wheneverthings are happening and we
(33:45):
speak on a weekly basis that canbe the support you need to get
you on your way as other peoplecome around.
So remember that your body'ssignals matters more than your
partner's opinions about what'shappening.
Again, they don't experience alot of the things that we do.
When you have the knowledge andthe confidence to trust your
(34:09):
health instincts, you can reallymaintain your standards while
keeping the peace in yourrelationship like 100%, because
I know that your partner wantsyou to be well.
I know that he wants you tofeel well, to look well, to be
confident, to be happy and allof that.
(34:30):
And when we're changing ourlifestyle.
It's just a big deal, and itinvolves them too.
If you're in a relationship,it's not just you it would be.
So I say this sometimes it'seasier if you're just by
yourself, if you're single, orif you have a partner to support
you, or if you don't have kidsand all that, or if you have a
(34:50):
partner that supports you, or ifyou don't have kids and all
that.
And this is why my work is soimportant, because I've done it
with my partner, I've done itwith two kids, I've done it with
a corporate job.
It wasn't in isolation that Itook this two years of the
beginning of my wellness journeyand did everything in isolation
, in a bubble.
If not, I would 100% not behere, and this is probably why
(35:14):
you've struggled so much,because we try to do this
outside of our regular lives,but the truth is that you have
to do it within your life for itto be able to stick.
People ask me how do you stayconsistent?
This is how you stay consistent.
You learn how to do it withinthe current life that you're
living.
(35:35):
Boom, I'll leave it right thereIf you're interested and you
want to talk about whatone-on-one food and hormone
health coaching would look likefor you.
I invite you to send me a DM onInstagram or you can go ahead
and book a consultation callwith the link in the show notes.
Remember do not keepundermining yourself, do not
(35:57):
keep shortchanging yourself.
Take care of yourself and knowthat what you're feeling is
valid and there are things thatyou can do about it.
Okay, and that's exactly whatI'm here to support you with.
I cannot wait to talk to you onZoom or talk to you in my DMs
and see how I can support you.
I'll see you next week.
(36:18):
Bye.
Hello friends and welcome back to the episode.
I am really excited abouttoday's conversation and also a
little nervous, because I'mopening up in an area where I've
talked a lot about, but it'smostly in private conversations
(00:20):
with friends, family or, most ofall, with my clients, whether
it's on consultation calls or onour coaching calls.
This topic usually always comesup if you are in a relationship
.
Okay, today we're going to talkabout when your partner, your
(00:44):
husband, whoever you're in arelationship with things you're
being so extra about ingredients, clean eating, the foods you're
all of a sudden choosing to eator not to eat, and this can
cause a lot of tension orfriction or a learning curve,
(01:04):
things like that because most ofthe clients I'm working with
have been in relationships for avery long time and all of a
sudden, my client wants to makesome changes and their partner
is either not on board or theydon't understand why.
(01:24):
They think you're doing themost and you're spending too
much money and they just don'tsee the value in it.
And I'm going to keep it realhonest.
Like those kinds of thingshappened in my relationship as
well when I was starting mywellness journey, and I'm going
to be sharing a few reasons whythis might be happening, a few
(01:49):
tips of how I have approached itand to give you hope that it is
possible for your partner, yourhusband, to join you on this
journey.
Some of my clients theirpartner sees no reason why
you're doing the most, and forsome of my other clients, their
(02:09):
partners do get it and theyencourage it.
So what happens when yourpartner is not supportive from
the start?
And I think is a reallyimportant conversation to be
having.
I think that usually when weget into a relationship and and
you know we're choosing apartner there's a lot of things
that maybe or maybe not arespoken about things like
(02:33):
politics, religion, how you wantto like, whether you want to
have children or not, how youwant to raise kids, finances,
and I know that most often, likeI think the people now like
they're getting this kind ofadvice and they're on it, but no
one was telling me oh, youshould talk to your partner
about finances, you should seeif they're in debt, you should
(02:55):
see how you're not, like thosekinds of things were not
happening.
But I do want to add to thelist that health and wellness is
very important and the otherthing is that what about if you
start with one set of values?
What about if you start with acertain lifestyle and then years
, years, years later you want tochange that?
(03:17):
Okay, and this is mostly wherethe conversation's going,
because in a new relationship,you're probably having these
kinds of conversations.
But if you've been in arelationship and you want to
change your lifestyle, maybeyour partner's not going to be
super on board with that.
So let's start talking aboutwhy this is important.
(03:42):
Okay, when we start to feel that, in fact, our lifestyle and the
way that we're eating and theingredients that we're putting
in our bodies and the foods thatwe're choosing is affecting how
we're feeling, and you're beingcalled out as dramatic, you're
(04:04):
being dismissed, you're beingundermined, it really makes you
question yourself Like, am Igoing crazy?
Am I really feeling this?
And you start to really reallyquestion the body, the signals
that your body's giving you, andyou might even consider like,
am I being too much?
Am I just like overreactingover these certain things?
(04:25):
And it creates further distrustfrom ourselves and from our
bodies because from the start,we are taught kind of like to
disassociate, like from our ownbodies and just act and feel and
basically act in a way where itserves other people, like to
(04:49):
keep your parents happy and tokeep your teachers happy and to
make sure that your boss ishappy.
So whatever you have to do andhowever you feel, you kind of
put that to the side to makesure that the people around you
are happy.
And it kind of happens in ourrelationships as well, with our
significant others, right?
So you're getting to this pointwhere you just really want to
(05:12):
take care of yourself.
And now here comes the doubtagain of being dismissed or
being called too much.
So this is not just an issue, ormight be an issue, with your
partner.
It is really a societal issue.
The entire industry is made upof questioning women and how we
(05:33):
feel, so much so that so muchresearch has not been done on
women because they say we aretoo complicated.
Oh my gosh, we get themenstrual cycle.
It's so hard to track, theyhave so many emotions.
So from day one we're beingdismissed.
(05:55):
Okay, from the medical industrydoing research on us.
And this is why sometimes weare so underserved, because a
lot of the research that's outthere is based on men or white
men on top of that, and it'sreally hard to advise on certain
(06:16):
medications, on certain habits,when we don't take the big ass
nuance of being female, okay,it's, it's huge.
So, starting from there, it'smore of of a societal issue.
So our poor partners, in acertain way, like we're just
swooped into this, even women,our own selves, we self dismiss
(06:39):
or gaslight, because again,we've had that happen from so
many people.
And then here we are just likequestioning ourselves, right?
So in the past, women have beencalled hysterical or too much or
dramatic, or women are toldthat they it's, it's the PMS not
(07:01):
understanding really theimplications of that.
Or it's because you'reoverweight.
If you just lost some weightyou would not have all these
issues.
Well, you're probably goingbecause you're having a hard
time losing weight in the firstplace.
You're told that, oh, it's sonormal, it's because you're
aging.
So in a space where we have toadvocate so fier much for you
(07:49):
especially, I'm going to speakfor, like I'm Dominican, right,
or maybe Latino culture ingeneral there are these things
that we say about food that yourpartner might've grown up with
as well and I know I did and mypartner did where they say
things like yo como lo que sea Ieat anything.
(08:11):
Or yo si no soy exigente, I amnot picky, and those are
statements that are worn as abadge of honor of not being
picky with food, eating anythingand everything.
And you know what thosecomments really did serve our
older generations, especiallywhen they were living back home.
(08:33):
Maybe food was scarce.
They didn't have the choice orthe privilege to be picky and be
choosy about what they wereeating, because there was
probably one meal a day or twomeals a day being cooked.
Maybe food was scarce.
They didn't have as many foodresources and abundance as we
(08:54):
have now.
So being picky with your foodmeant you weren't eating, not
eating anything and everythingthat was being made.
Well, then you weren't eating,and then you were just going to
be hungry, right?
The thing is, too, that themeals that were being made back
in the day were mostly probablyorganic food, as close to the
(09:19):
earth, with more of anutritional value than what's
happening now present day.
So not being picky with yourfood and eating anything and
everything can get you inserious trouble just because of
how our food environment haschanged and our living
(09:41):
environment has changed.
All of that plays a huge rolein our health.
So if you're eating anythingand everything and there's a ton
of fast food, a ton of friedfood, sugary foods and all that.
It's not going to end well foryou.
Okay, it's not.
(10:01):
So when we do not realize thatour foods have changed, the
amount of food has changed.
Uh, our living environmentshave changed.
All of that.
How damaging these comments thatwe grew up with, that we held
with a badge of honor, with alldue right and respect in that
(10:24):
certain circumstance, can bereally hurting us now.
So it's not just the mindsetshift for you around this, it
also is encouraging a mindsetshift for your partner.
And sometimes, as you know,that is really hard to do,
especially when we don't knowhow to explain these things, how
(10:47):
to do the bigger picture,because all of a sudden you're
just being picky for no reasonor you're just being, let's say,
super specific about how you'reeating, to be complicated.
But it's not about beingcomplicated, it's really about
breaking through the food noise,breaking through all of the
(11:08):
different options.
Now, like, literally, foodpollution that is happening.
What actually is real food andnot real food?
And by not real food, I meanfood that has zero nutritional
value inside, that you just putin your mouth and it does
nothing for you, but your bodyhaving to clean that up.
So I'm going to get into thetips later, but one of the
(11:31):
things that really starts tosupport is the education piece
and the communication piece asto why these kinds like, why
you're deciding to make thesechanges.
Another thing to consider, andthat is really important in this
topic, is that you aredifferent sexes, right?
(11:53):
Males do not have the sameamount of hormonal volatility,
literally, and hormonal seasons,as females do.
So Because you know howsometimes, because someone is
not experiencing something, theyinvalidate your experience.
(12:15):
I think that, unintentionally,that happens a lot of times
where your partner might eatsomething and they're fine, or
they don't have certainexperiences, or they're feeling
okay in their body, or they'refeeling okay in their body, and
(12:36):
then that all of a sudden meansthat you don't have the space to
feel differently, right, thatyou don't experience different
physical reactions based on thequality of food that you're
having, the amount of food thatyou're having, when you're
having different foods.
And it can really be hardbecause that is, you know how
(12:56):
they say, like hiddendisabilities or something where
it is much more harder forsomeone with a hidden disability
to be believed and to behonored and to be accommodated.
That is kind of similar where,if you're not breaking out in
hives, if you don't have eczema,if you're not going full on
(13:19):
anaphylaxis, then you arequestioned in how you're feeling
.
But maybe the foods that you areeating is making you feel
terrible.
Maybe it is causing bloating,it is giving you migraines and
mood swings and foggy mind andit's making your periods worse
and it's making your periodsirregular.
(13:41):
Maybe that's leading intoinfertility.
All of like food is so powerful.
Food is communication and beingcurious as to how food is
affecting you is a real dealthing.
And again, our partners if theyare males, they're not dealing
with the amount of hormonalvolatility that we are and our
(14:06):
food dictates a lot of what ourhormones do.
And because our hormones areconsistently shifting as we get
our period every month, they'regoing up, they're going down,
they're switching off andthey're coming back.
And if you're pregnant or you'renot pregnant, if you're going
into perimenopause like havingchildren is is a choice for lots
(14:29):
of people, right?
So you might not experiencethat, but every female will
experience perimenopause andfood has a lot to do with those
things and how you feel in yourbody, right, like the bloating
and how you feel in your clothes, and even if your partner is
experiencing some of thesethings, maybe it's not bothering
(14:52):
them as much as it's botheringyou.
Or they don't even realizeoftentimes that the reason why
they're not feeling well intheir body is because of how
they are eating.
They're eating, and this iswhere stepping in with budgeting
(15:40):
or understanding how you wantto spend your money can be
useful, because oftentimesthere's just certain foods that
you need for you to feel well.
So it's like this question ofwhat are you willing to
sacrifice?
Where are you willing to budgetto get the things that you need
(16:02):
?
Or maybe you just make somesimple adjustments to start off.
But it's important to start theconversation, see how you guys
might want to address thistogether.
And it's not just even aboutgroceries.
It can also be about eating outright, like maybe you used to
(16:22):
go to certain restaurants beforethat no longer honors you and
it always gives you a stomachache for three days and gives
you diarrhea or constipation orall these other things, and
you're like damn, I don't likefeeling this way.
I don't like having to recoverfor a whole week after going to
this restaurant.
Okay, but as you're startingyour journey, there is a
(16:45):
learning curve time and thatmight come with some judgment,
right.
I know when, when I firststarted on this wellness journey
, I used to spend so much timein the supermarket, in the
grocery store, because all of asudden I was not choosing.
Whatever product I used to grabbefore, whatever product I grew
(17:10):
up seeing in my house, Igenuinely wanted to know the
ingredients that were inside.
And then, if I didn't like thator it was not aligned with the
journey I wanted to be on, thenI went through the labels of all
the other products, becausethere's like a gajillion
different tomato sauces or pastasauces or yogurts or things
(17:32):
like that.
So I would go through all thelabels.
And there was a point where mypartner was like you're going to
the supermarket by yourselfbecause you're spending so much
time in here, and he would be soannoyed and we had two little
boys with us, right, and it'sreally tough.
So sometimes I would go and doa headstart in the supermarket
(17:53):
or I would go by myself, becauseI really did understand that I
was spending like an extra hourin there going through the food
labels and don't worry like youdon't need to do all of that,
like in health coaching.
This is exactly what I supportmy clients with to speed up the
process and I help you findthose products that you need so
(18:17):
you're not spending an extra twohours in the supermarket like I
was.
But it was a it was likecontention for us because we
would always do groceriestogether and he was like I ain't
staying here all this time.
Why can't we just like grabwhat we normally grab and go?
And it was because makingdifferent food choices was so
(18:38):
important to me.
I started to see what big of animpact the food had on me.
I was on a weight loss journey.
I was losing weight quickly,not because I was doing anything
else, but really focusing onhow I was eating and doing
exercise.
(18:58):
Another piece, right going backto the money thing, is how much
of a waste of money buyinghigher quality food is.
It's like why can't you getthese hot dogs versus those hot
dogs?
It's like an extra $5.
Or why can't we just get theregular strawberries instead of
the organic ones, right?
Why do we need organic food?
(19:19):
And it's up to everybody'sdiscretion whether they want to
buy organic or not.
I know that there's a list ofthe dirty dozen where it's
highly recommended you getorganic because of the types of
pesticides that are used.
And then there's another listcalled the Clean 15, where you
don't necessarily need to graborganic versions of those types
(19:42):
of produce.
And, trust me, sometimes I goback and forth, depending on
what's available, how it looks.
Generally I try and get organicberries and things like that,
but for other things I'm totallyfine getting regular.
Is it a waste of money or not?
Well, a lot of the research andthe information out there
(20:04):
really points to how thepesticides are really messing
with our hormonal health, right,and if we want to go deep into
the research as to where and whyand all that, that's cool.
And there's a lot of questions.
Is the food even really organicor not?
That is up to your discretion.
(20:25):
But if you find that buyingcertain organic produce really
helps you feel better,especially certain kinds of
meats or raw produce that youcan't really peel or anything
like that, like berries, then isit really a waste of money when
(20:45):
it actually is helping you feelbetter?
And especially for, um, animalbased products, how they're
feeding and treating theseanimals, okay, and you know,
what I don't think is a matterof being high maintenance to
avoid certain ingredients or toavoid certain kinds of foods.
(21:07):
I know I got a lot of feedbackfrom my family of how picky I
was and how like uppity I wasbecause I was not no longer
eating whatever everybody elseate or wanted to go to the
restaurants everybody else wasgoing to.
But the truth is that I wouldsee it.
(21:27):
First of all, I would know howsick I would feel and I did not
enjoy feeling that way, like Ididn't want to throw up from how
sick I felt, just because Ididn't want to say no to someone
else or not to be called highmaintenance.
I really honored the fact thatthey didn't have to understand
(21:49):
the journey that I was on or why.
Because guess who's the onlyperson that experiences being
sick in my body?
It's me.
Okay, it's me.
I am the person who has to dealwith feeling so unwell because
no one else is in my body.
So I owe it to myself to honorthe ingredients I'm having and
(22:12):
the foods I'm having, so that Idon't feel like absolute crap.
What I also notice is how otherpeople did feel like crap after
they ate whatever they wanted.
They would have headaches, theywould be so bloated they would
have to reach for theAlka-Seltzer and the
Pepto-Bismol and the Gasex andthe lemon con baking soda and
(22:34):
the seltzer waters and theginger reels and all of that and
they would have diarrhea andthey would have constipation and
they just did not understandhow it all ties together.
And your partner may or may notbe experiencing some of these
certain things and it's justbringing it to the consciousness
of like dude, the stuff that weeat really affects how we're
(22:58):
feeling.
Okay, and sometimes it can feelreally isolating to to have
these health choices in your ownhome because your ride or die
all of a sudden is like you'redoing the most and you're height
maintenance now and why can'twe just eat the regular food?
I always like to say to honorthat you changing is also change
(23:23):
for them.
Okay, I don't think it's rightfor anyone to be disrespectful
if that's what's going on, butthey are allowed to be in their
feelings too, because you'rechanging your relationship
dynamic, especially if it'ssomeone who just does not want
to tag along in this journey.
I know many husbands who'vetagged along with their wives or
(23:45):
their partners when they'reworking with me and it becomes
this whole family affair.
Like the husbands are reallyinterested and are really
excited for the fact that theirpartners are working with me and
they get to benefit so muchfrom the changes that are
happening, because, all of asudden, there are different
(24:07):
products being introduced, thereare different choices being
made in a way that still fitstheir relationship, okay.
So, yes, maybe it might feel alittle bit isolating, and this
is why it's so important to havesupport until your partner
comes around, to have somebodyto speak to about this, to have
somebody who's been through asimilar experience, and that is
(24:31):
exactly me.
My partner, again, did not wantto be in the supermarket forever
.
He liked what he liked.
There was a ton of food that hedid not eat.
He did not eat broccoli, he didnot eat avocados, he did not
eat actual beans, he did not eatgreen beans, mushrooms, like a
lot of different vegetables.
Trust, trust me, I didn't eatthose either.
(24:53):
It's just that I started thisjourney and I went with it
before he was on board and can Itell you that he is like the
one requesting veggies andmaking sure that our kids are
making choices that are alignedwith their health.
So that's another thing whereit becomes kind of like a little
(25:16):
kind of rough patch, where it'slike, how do you pass along
this information to your kids,if you do have kids?
Because there might be oneparent who's like, oh, free for
all.
And then the other parents like, no.
I want to start reallyencouraging generational health
here.
So, slowly but surely, withcommunication, with seeing how I
(25:42):
was feeling and the results Iwas getting and all that, he
started to come around as well.
And now he eats a ton ofvegetables and again he
encourages a lot of our healthyhabits on our children.
And it just took some time.
And guess what I was not doing,I was not being pushy, but I
was being encouraging.
(26:03):
So and I also was curious.
I was like why don't you eatgreen beans?
And he's like, oh, because Itried them in school and they
were gross.
And I'm like, yeah, thosecanned green beans are not that
great.
No wonder why you didn't likethem.
And you guys get to probablyhave a connection over that,
because you probably had schoolgreen beans too, or you've seen
(26:25):
them, even in Cracker BarrelDon't even get me started on the
restaurant.
So you know I would be like, oh, I understand that.
I would be like you know what Iroasted these green beans?
They're nice and fresh and theytotally do not taste like
canned green beans from school.
And he would taste them andhe'd be like, oh okay, these do
(26:47):
taste good.
And then that's how you startto get them to come around.
Okay, that was one tip.
So I want you to recognize andvalidate that your body's
response to food is a validinformation, is valid data.
It is a valid communicationthat your body is having with
(27:12):
you, and it is totally like thetime not to continue ignoring it
, not to continue gaslightingyourself or invalidating your
experience, because everyonearound you is like you, just
being too much.
It's okay for people to thinkthat and it's okay for you to
(27:37):
know exactly why you're doingwhat you're doing.
And this is why I think it's soimportant to create evidence
for yourself, to create a strongwhy and to create a support
system, because when you are theone in your household, in your
friend group, in your family,really understanding the
importance of these changes andhow it's affecting how you feel
(28:01):
physically, your emotions, evenyour soul, then to have someone
who understands is extremelyvaluable.
And don't worry, eventuallypeople will come around, okay.
This is why, in coaching,coaching is so important and why
(28:22):
my clients have gotten suchamazing results, because not
only do we go through the foodeducation piece, we also go
through managing difficultsituations.
Now, I'm not no therapist ormarriage counselor.
This is not what we're doinghere but it's holding space for
(28:43):
what you might be experiencingand it's maybe giving advice as
to how it's worked for me or inmy situation and maybe pointers
on how to talk about it, thatcuriosity point of view and all
that, and also really opening upwhat are things you can talk
(29:06):
about that might bring to lightwhy this is so important.
And these are things that wediscuss in coaching.
Like, maybe it is looking atyour family history together,
maybe it is this new discussionof how you would like to live
your lives together.
A lot of things that peopledon't think about, couples don't
think about, is aging, and ifyou want to age together, what
(29:28):
would that look like?
We talk a lot about it in termsof retirement and having money
for retirement, but what aboutyour physical health?
How are you going to actuallyenjoy that money as you get
older?
How are you going to protectyour health the both of you so
that you guys can both have anice quality of life as you get
(29:52):
older.
Those things are important todiscuss, just as important as
how is your 401k looking like?
Those conversations should gohand in hand.
Are you going to use all thatretirement money on medical
bills or are you going to usethat retirement money living up
your best life, however thatlooks like for you?
(30:14):
So it is to both of youradvantages.
And if you're a little nervousor scared of starting off, trust
me, when your partner starts tosee how vibrant you feel, how
good you're looking, how muchenergy you have, how, like, how
much more you want to beintimate, like all these things,
(30:35):
then it really starts to likesink in for them most of the
time, especially to when itcomes to conversations around
the kids and all that Like.
It really boils down to a lot oftimes deep kind of breaking
apart how we grew up becausethat's where we take a lot of
(30:55):
our information from like thehabits, the sayings that we grew
up with and how maybe they nolonger apply to our current
circumstance and it being okayto make a difference and why
that is so important.
Why does that go beyond thescale?
Why does that go beyond justlooking good?
(31:15):
What does that mean?
To feel good and to be able tomove well and to be able to have
energy as you age, experiencingtogether.
You know like all of this is soimportant.
So starting your wellnessjourney, starting coaching, is
(31:36):
not just for you, it's actuallyfor your family and sometimes
you know, people don't need to100% understand the journey or
why, but they could probablyrespect it because it is really
important to you and because, atits core, again, it is your
(31:58):
experience in your body, andsomeone who does not get a
period, who does not bearchildren, who does not go
through perimenopause, who isnot living in your body.
I don't know.
I don't know how much of thatshould influence your decision
(32:21):
to help yourself be healthier,to help yourself feel better, to
really know and understand thatyou want to make these changes
and you need the support to goahead and do that.
Okay, when I first started,there were so many changes
happening because all of asudden, I started to go to the
gym regularly and I started toeat different and all that.
(32:43):
And there was all the comments.
Right, there were all thecomments or the frustrations,
but you know what?
Again, everybody eventuallycame around, not just my partner
, but other family members thatwere like damn, I want to have
results too, I want to learn too, I want to feel better too.
(33:04):
Or I went to the doctor andthey told me about my blood
pressure, about my blood sugar,about my guts, about all these
things, and now I'm ready tolisten.
Okay, so you can be that person.
You can be the healthy Latinathat starts to influence your
(33:25):
family, to influence yourpartner in such a positive way.
Influence your partner in sucha positive way and knowing your
why and having your supportsystem AKA coaching, where you
can reach out to me wheneverthings are happening and we
(33:45):
speak on a weekly basis that canbe the support you need to get
you on your way as other peoplecome around.
So remember that your body'ssignals matters more than your
partner's opinions about what'shappening.
Again, they don't experience alot of the things that we do.
When you have the knowledge andthe confidence to trust your
(34:09):
health instincts, you can reallymaintain your standards while
keeping the peace in yourrelationship like 100%, because
I know that your partner wantsyou to be well.
I know that he wants you tofeel well, to look well, to be
confident, to be happy and allof that.
(34:30):
And when we're changing ourlifestyle.
It's just a big deal, and itinvolves them too.
If you're in a relationship,it's not just you it would be.
So I say this sometimes it'seasier if you're just by
yourself, if you're single, orif you have a partner to support
you, or if you don't have kidsand all that, or if you have a
(34:50):
partner that supports you, or ifyou don't have kids and all
that.
And this is why my work is soimportant, because I've done it
with my partner, I've done itwith two kids, I've done it with
a corporate job.
It wasn't in isolation that Itook this two years of the
beginning of my wellness journeyand did everything in isolation
, in a bubble.
If not, I would 100% not behere, and this is probably why
(35:14):
you've struggled so much,because we try to do this
outside of our regular lives,but the truth is that you have
to do it within your life for itto be able to stick.
People ask me how do you stayconsistent?
This is how you stay consistent.
You learn how to do it withinthe current life that you're
living.
(35:35):
Boom, I'll leave it right thereIf you're interested and you
want to talk about whatone-on-one food and hormone
health coaching would look likefor you.
I invite you to send me a DM onInstagram or you can go ahead
and book a consultation callwith the link in the show notes.
Remember do not keepundermining yourself, do not
(35:57):
keep shortchanging yourself.
Take care of yourself and knowthat what you're feeling is
valid and there are things thatyou can do about it.
Okay, and that's exactly whatI'm here to support you with.
I cannot wait to talk to you onZoom or talk to you in my DMs
and see how I can support you.
I'll see you next week.
(36:18):
Bye.
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