September 11, 2025 • 57 mins
Send Naihomy encouraging words!💕
Career coach Carla Santamaria shares how first-gen professionals can increase their salaries, navigate workplace systems, and set boundaries for better work-life integration. She reveals strategies that have helped her clients collectively increase their salaries by over half a million dollars since 2021.
• Understanding the four factors that determine your market rate: industry, location, function, and expertise level
• Learning to articulate and quantify your value with specific metrics and accomplishments
• Setting boundaries starts with small steps like taking your lunch break and creating after-work rituals
• Using phrases like "I am happy to take this on—what would you like me to deprioritize?" to manage workload
• Navigating family business dynamics requires clear physical boundaries and proactive communication
• Maximizing workplace benefits can include gym discounts, mental health resources, and education stipends
• First-gen professionals typically operate at higher levels of excellence—your 50% effort often exceeds others' 100%
Follow Carla on Instagram or check out her First Gen Coach podcast. Her LinkedIn mini-course has helped clients land high-paying jobs with benefits. For more information about working with Carla through one-on-one coaching or bringing her to speak at your organization, visit the link in her bio.
Connect with Carla on Instagram
Thank you so much for listening!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello friends, welcome back to the podcast.
Today we're switching it up andwe're having a beautiful guest
in her realm of expertise, whichis careers increasing your
(00:29):
salaries and settingwell-deserved boundaries with
your job so that you arewell-paid and well taken care of
.
A little bit about CarlaSantamaria, because she's an
expert guest today.
She is Miami-basedHonduran-born immigrant who more
than doubled her salary in 10months by job hopping from
(00:53):
higher ed to healthcare to tech.
In addition to her full-timejob, karla is a career coach on
a mission to help first-genwomen of color increase their
salaries by 30k in six months,or less.
Okay, since 2021, she's helpedher clients collectively
increase their salaries by morethan half a million dollars.
(01:13):
Carla is the host of the firstgen coach podcast, a career and
lifestyle podcast wherefirst-gen professional latinas
learn to advance their careers,unlearn limiting beliefs and
build wealth.
So if you want more to listenmore on her gems, you can find
her podcast.
Welcome, Kadla.
Please tell us more aboutyourself.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Thank you so much, naomi.
I am so happy to be here.
I was going to say this is mythree-peat, but I actually think
this is my fourth time, maybe,yeah, because I think the first
one was one of our like ourcoaching calls that was shared,
and then, uh, so, so, yeah, somaybe it's the three feet or the
fourth feet, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Anyway, I think it is the fourth time.
Yeah, I think you've been thelongest standing guests on this
podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Thank you so much.
I really, uh, I am honored andI'm so excited to be back this
time sharing a little bit moreabout my professional expertise
and career-based expertise.
Really think it's all connected.
So a little bit about me.
As you said, born in Honduras,raised in Miami and I'm still
(02:28):
based out of South Florida, Istarted my coaching business
about four years ago and thiswas born out of transitioning.
I mentioned job hopping.
You mentioned job hopping in mybio.
So I transitioned out of highereducation and into the corporate
setting and I realized that ashigher education professionals,
we had been doing a great job ofpreparing first gen students
(02:53):
for success.
But then, once they graduated,we were kind of just throwing
them to the wolves of theworkplace, whether that's
corporate America, whetherthat's nonprofit, federal state
governments.
And when I saw that, I rememberfeeling so overwhelmed because
I remember getting my firstbenefits package and like
(03:13):
sweating, sweating, I'm likewhat is this?
And I have like three weeks tofigure it out.
And I was so stressed.
And that's when I had thatrealization of like, oh no, is
this how all of our studentshave been feeling right after
they graduate and they get theirfirst job.
So that's a little bit abouthow First Gen Coaching and
Consulting was born.
(03:34):
Similarly my podcast.
I had a different name in thebeginning.
I just went through your namechange, so I'm super excited
about that.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, my God is it called something else.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
No, no, no girl.
The first six episodes of mypodcast were called like
activate your potential, and Imean you know what?
I have a lot of love for thatversion of myself who put her
podcast out there.
And then, you know, after thatI was like no, all of my
conversations center around whatit means to be first gen in the
workplace, what it means to befirst gen professional, and so
(04:06):
that's how I really pivoted andembraced the first gen coach.
And right now I'm also in alittle bit of a pivot in terms
of my coaching business myself,because, as much as I do love
this one-on-one coaching,there's only so much one-on-one
I can do.
So what are the ways that I canreach more people, help more
first-gen professionals haveaccess to this message?
(04:28):
So that looks a lot more likespeaking engagements.
I actually had my first keynotein a couple of months.
Yeah, thank you.
You know I recently did asalary negotiation workshop for
a big membership group that Idon't want to name workshop for
a big membership group that Idon't want to name but when they
reached out to me, I wasthrilled and just reaching more
(04:54):
folks in that way, so kind ofjust really embracing the larger
stages.
So that's the kind of thelittle pivot that I am in, or
maybe it's a big pivot.
I tell all my clients not todiscount their accomplishments,
so I'm not going to discountmine either.
But yes, that's me careerstrategist, linkedin expert and
go-to person for all thingsfirst-gen professional
(05:15):
experience.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That's beautiful, and I'll tell you over and over
again I am so happy that you dothis work because I was a
first-gen professional.
Before I was in health coaching, I was in a 12-year corporate
career and every single timethat benefits came around
packages, you know, reviews Iwas always freaking out and I
(05:38):
had no one to guide me.
So you're here for ourcommunity and that is absolutely
wonderful.
So in getting into all this, Iknow that people are like what,
how do you, how did you helpyour clients increase their
salary by more than half amillion?
Like, what is it that?
What are the skills?
(06:00):
I want to say Because I dobelieve that that these are
skills that are missing becauseof the gaps in generation in our
community that we're missing tohelp us increase our salaries.
And I know that money is soimportant more than ever now,
and it is one of the kind oftools that you need to have in
(06:21):
order to take good care ofyourself.
Not always and not all the time.
There are different ways thatwe can take care of our wellness
that is not so costly, butsometimes you would like to
invest more and therefore itrequires you having more of a
higher income to invest inyourself in that way.
So what do you think is one ofthe missing skills, or a few of
(06:44):
them, from our generation thathas really helped your clients
increase their salaries by somuch?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, so a couple of things.
The first thing that I want toname is the system that we're in
, so we can have all the skills,but we need to acknowledge that
we're navigating systems.
So I'm going to give youraudience a sneak peek of a sub
stack that I will be publishingsoon, and it's literally called
(07:13):
navigating invisible systems.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Or not so invisible nowadays.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Right exactly Now that they're upheld by the
Supreme Court, but anyway.
So I just want to first startby acknowledging the systems
that we're in.
I firmly believe that theworkplace exists at the
intersection of multiple systemsof oppression.
So you have a history of sexism, you have a history of racism,
you have a history of ableismwithin capitalist white
(07:42):
supremacy, and so all of that, Ithink, causes women of color in
particular to be socializedinto low-paying, nonprofit jobs.
So you had a corporate careerin marketing, so you were
probably one of the very fewLatinas and women of color in
that space, and again, I thinkthat this is by design.
(08:03):
So one of the first ways thatI'm going to name that I've
helped my clients increase theirsalaries by that much is simply
by transitioning into a higherpaying career.
So just leaving the nonprofitsector, leaving education and
transitioning into a career thatjust simply pays more.
That's one way.
The second way is helping themunderstand the value that they
(08:26):
add to the workplace.
That's the third way.
I'm going to come back to that.
The second one is really justacknowledging their greatness
and it is tied into that.
But it's that mindset first andit's like no, no, you really
have to kind of own I mean notkind of.
You have to fully own yourgreatness before you can
(08:49):
articulate the value that youbring to your workplace.
I remember with one of myclients, I was doing this
exercise that I do with all ofmy clients and it's an exercise
that helps them really findtheir career values and their
passions and their strengths andtheir skills.
And I asked her what's a timethat you felt really energized
in the workplace?
And she was telling me aboutthis project, and this project
(09:11):
was part of a grant that she wasmanaging.
And so I asked her have youever done the math for how many
like how much money you'reactually managing in these
grants?
Because she was a grant managerand she's like you know what
I'm going to do it tonight.
She sends me a text immediatelyafter, or like in the next
morning, and she says Carla, Imanage $150 million in grants.
I was like what.
I would be so annoying if Imanaged $150 million in grants.
(09:36):
That would be the first thingthat came out of my mouth.
I'd be like, hi, my name isCarlos Santamaria and I manage
$150 million in grants.
And so once she was able toarticulate the value that she
was bringing to her workplace,even though we had previously
worked together and she hadgotten a raise.
She went back, took that amountand got another raise.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
So this is as a state employee.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know how hard it is to get three raises in 18
months as a state employee.
So again, the first one toanswer your question of how
we're able to do this.
First one is transitioning to ahigher payer industry.
Second one is articulating thevalue that you bring to the
workplace and that's how many ofmy clients have been able to
get raises within their currentroles.
(10:19):
And I love doing that becauseit's why I said it's not a
little pivot, it's a big pivotbecause I'm constantly telling
my clients not to diminish theirexpertise and their greatness.
So I'm not going to do that formyself either.
I had a different client who wasworking in like she
(10:41):
transitioned into a new rolewithin the same company and it
was she was like doing like aninventory supervisor and she
told me that for her first yearshe was able to reduce the
inventory loss from over it waslike nine, over nine hundred and
fifty thousand dollars, so likeclose to a million, down to
less than a hundred thousanddollars.
(11:02):
So she's like so she reduced itby 90 percent.
I, I asked her, I was like yousaved your company almost a
million dollars.
And she was like well, it waslike $879,000.
I was like that's a milliondollars, you know.
And then in her second year shefurther reduced it from that
100K to less than 10K and I waslike, oh my God, and this is not
(11:22):
on your resume.
So I was, like you know, likepalpitating, like OK, let's put
this on your resume.
So, really, those two thingslike acknowledging the systems
and that they're just simply arethere, just simply are some
careers and sectors that payless than the second one is like
understanding the value thatyou add to your workplace and
that comes from being able tolike own your, your strength and
(11:44):
expertise, you that you add toyour workplace, and that comes
from being able to own yourstrength and expertise.
And then one last one that I dowant to add is understanding the
market rate of your skills.
So I've done a lot of episodesabout this.
I mean I actually, in my salarynegotiation workshop that I
just did, I teach the fourfactors that impact your salary,
because a lot of us areunderpaid because we don't
(12:06):
understand, we just simply don'tknow what someone with X number
of degrees, x number of yearsof experience, x number of
knowledge and expertise, we justdon't know what the market rate
for that is so.
That is like the third one.
It's more of a skills andknowledge component that I
incorporate into being able toarticulate the value that you
bring to the workplace.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah, and how do you find out your market rate?
You just Google it, orsomething.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Go again.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
How do you find out what the market rate is Like?
Do you Google it or is there awebsite that you check for it?
I'm like I want to find this.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
There are four factors that impact your pay.
The first one is your industry,so this is your general sector.
Are you in agriculture, are youin consumer goods?
Are you in marketing, are youin education, are you in
hospitality?
This is the overarchingumbrella of the type of work.
So that's the first one.
(13:05):
The second one is location.
Somebody living in New YorkCity with such an extremely high
cost of living as you are, youknow, naomi that is
significantly higher pay is tiedto that location.
Florida is super expensive.
It's not quite as expensive.
(13:26):
Or you know somebody living inTopeka, kansas.
So location also impacts um.
The third one is your actualjob.
So are you working forKellogg's under human resources,
or are you working for and itengineering?
(13:47):
you know so that's the functionand the one is your level of
expertise and this is you knowlike, are you early career, so
job titles usually tied to thatour coordinator, specialist
analyst, and those are rolesthat require a lot of support
from your leader.
Um, in order to you, you don'tusually have a lot of decision
(14:07):
making abilities.
As you get mid-level and thisis manager, senior manager type
roles you have more autonomy andthen, as you progress towards
director, senior director andplus into like executive roles,
you're managing not just teams,but teams of teams.
You're managing budget.
So those are the four factorsthat are tied into the market
(14:30):
rate.
So that is industry, location,function and expertise.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Oh my gosh.
So good.
I thought it was just like therestaurant market rates fish.
You just weigh it, you knowwhat you pay in the market.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yes, but that's a great example, because tilapia
has a different market rate thansalmon or than halibut or than
caviar, you know.
So so, yes, different, andthere's different things that
determine the market rate fordifferent, you know.
And again, the market rate islike what somebody is willing to
pay for it and in theemployment context, it's what
employers are willing to pay forthis combination of skills,
experiences and location.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Many women in our community and leads them into
chronic illness most of the time, and that is stress and not
having boundaries at work.
Because I don't know if you canrelate to this, but I know that
(15:35):
most of us, going back to yourinitial point of socialization,
it's like don't like always begrateful for your job.
You don't want to ruffle anyfeathers, you don't want to
speak up.
If you work hard, people willnotice and you don't have to
advocate for yourself.
I know you're going to loseyour shit on that side of the
screen, I know, but it's whatthey tell us, right?
(15:57):
So how do we go from this kindof socialization to the actual
world where we're living in,where we have to have receipts,
we have to speak up and settingboundaries so that we're
actually taking care of ourhealth and know that we're doing
a good job too.
(16:18):
We just don't need to haveeverybody just roll over us.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh my gosh.
So much.
And, yes, I am about to lose mymind.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I saw you twitching, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
One of the most fired up times was like I saw some
post about being grateful foryour job and I was like
absolutely not.
And yes, there is gratitudedoesn't mean that you let people
walk all over you.
You know and I think about thisphrase that my dad says he says
(16:50):
el trabajo se cuida or hay quecuidar el trabajo, or something
like that Like you're supposedto take care of your job, and
what he means by that is to likebe a good employee.
You know to.
Again, like you said, like notruffle any feathers.
A good employee, you know to,again, like you said, like not
ruffle any feathers.
And again, this is one of thekey differences and why I focus
so much on like being a firstgen professional, because that
(17:14):
means that you're the first onein your family to achieve
certain education and employmentand basically life milestones.
So it is inclusive of race andgender and the way that that
shows up is like if our parentswere working these very
exhausting, demanding physicallabor jobs.
They taught us how to show upin the workplace in that way.
(17:38):
But corporate environments or,you know, I guess, white collar
environments, and that isinclusive of.
You know, I guess white collarenvironments, and that is
inclusive of you know, likegovernment and private sector
and public sector and nonprofit.
But still these like quoteunquote office jobs, that's not
going to fly.
That's why you have to be ableto articulate the value that you
bring to your job, because it'snot as visible physically you
(18:02):
know what I mean Like if you'reout on the street like and you
pick more tomatoes than yourother, than the person who you
know, like somebody else.
That's visible and like.
You know what I mean.
Like it's not white yeah,intangible.
It's not quite like that inwhite collar jobs or like in
quote-unquote professional jobs.
I don't love that word, that'swhy I said it in quotes, um, and
(18:24):
it's why one of the sort oflike the pillars of my podcast
is unlearning certain beliefs.
So if we show up in theworkplace like I'm just so
grateful to be here and I don'twant to rock the boat and I have
to be like meek, have to belike meek and quiet and not
(18:50):
getting any trouble, thatmentality, which is valid
because it helps our parents andour ancestors survive, is not
what is going to help you thriveand stand out and get that
promotion or that raise or eventhat fair pay in the workplace.
You know, in like the whitecollar workplace and so and this
is why people get stressed, Imean, I mean stress exists in so
(19:11):
many different ways, but thisis what one of the reasons that
it's compounded, you know, likethere's this feeling of like I
like, I think it's an internalknowing.
You know, again, one of theways that I help my clients
increase their salaries isbecause a lot of them have come
to me with like I think I'munderpaid.
Like there's this internalsense of knowing and again very
(19:35):
valid like this, like shrinkingand being invisible, has been
what has helped our ancestorssurvive, because being visible
can be very dangerous or hasbeen very dangerous in the past.
And so I just want to name that.
All those things are valid andthey were taught to us lovingly.
They were taught to us to keepus safe and now that we have a
(20:01):
little bit more privilege, weare able to unlearn those
beliefs so that we can movebeyond survival mode and into
thriving mode.
And one of the ways to managethis and then to to be to move
past survival, is to manageworkplace related stress.
So let's talk about boundaries.
(20:22):
This can be really reallydifficult.
I mean, even I mentioned that Ihave a full-time corporate role
and I actually recently starteda different role.
That has me, like it's justsignificantly different and
significantly more, I would say,mentally challenging.
So some of the ways that I'vebeen able to set boundaries,
(20:43):
like with myself, are, you know,like I've taken a break from my
podcast.
You know, like I've I've I'vegone to sleep earlier because I
need more.
Like I know that I'm like Iactually need my full eight
hours of sleep, like that'snon-negotiable.
You know, even those are thesethings that are outside of work
but that helped me show up inthe workplace and that helped me
(21:06):
use my voice and use, like, mymental capacity to like, deliver
my set of deliverables, youknow.
But again, it's like settingboundaries in the workplace and
outside of the workplace.
So when I started workingremote during COVID, I would do
this thing where I wouldphysically close my laptop and
then I would go on a walk and Istill I mean now I just press
(21:29):
the escape key to, you know like, to shut off the screen, but I
still do that and like, and Iremove myself from my workplace
area and I, you know like, go ona walk.
Sometimes it's raining, so thatdoesn't happen, you know.
Or sometimes I'm working alittle bit late and I just want
to get dinner started, but Istill have this sort of after
(21:51):
work ritual.
Again, it's one of the thingsthat I help my clients with,
because if your work is bleedinginto your home life, that's
going to compound that stress.
Several years ago I found myselfon our after work walks and me
and my fiance just complainingabout my boss and I I heard
myself and I was like, oh, I'mso sick of myself, like I'm so
(22:13):
annoyed.
I'm like I do not want to bethe person that complains about
their boss after work.
And so then I got a new job.
I was like I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I'm like I was.
How do you get yourself to thatpoint where you shut down?
I think that's the hard part oflike actually stopping and
being like okay, I don't need todo one more thing, I don't need
to answer one more emailno-transcript.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
But I remember in my first job, post-grad school, I
was the youngest person on myteam.
Grad school, I was the youngestperson on my team and I was
basically so overwhelmed becauseI had this endless to-do list.
And I remember we had an eventlike an additional training or
something, and it took me awayfrom my office and into a
(23:38):
different setting and I was onmy phone emailing the office
staff about the certain thingsthat they needed to do.
And I was on my phone emailingthe office staff about the
certain things that they neededto do and I was sitting next to
this woman that I worked with,you know, like in a professional
capacity.
She was a department head andshe was like maybe 20 years
older than me and she kind oflike was able to sense my
(24:02):
frantic energy.
And I told her and she was likewhat's going on?
And I told her everything thatI was going, that I needed to do
, and she was like, carlette,today this is your job, and she
was like listen.
I, when I interviewed for thisposition as the you know
department head, the dean toldme you're never going to finish
(24:23):
your to-do list and I was likehuh, and I'm really glad that I
learned that in my first job outof grad school, because it was
somebody who was senior to me inher role and in years and
quoting, basically almost likemy highest boss at the
institution, saying you're nevergoing to finish my to-do list,
your to-do list, and she wastelling you today, this is your
(24:44):
job.
And I had this thought.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
As in being present.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Yes, being present, being in the training, yeah, and
I was like, yeah, you know what, this is my job, and that it
really helped me reframe.
It's like, okay, this to-dolist is just never going to get,
never going to finish, andthat's okay.
So what I do is I'm able tolike really hone in on what are
the top three priorities, likewhat do I, what must I do today
(25:13):
and what can, what can get donetomorrow?
You know, and again I kind ofjust do that negotiation every
day Obviously there are somedays and some jobs and that
there's, you know, like I may beworking late, or that you know
somebody may be working late.
There are some seasons, like ifyou get a tax deadline on April
15th, it literally cannot waituntil April 16th, you know.
(25:35):
So just like allowing yourselfthat flexibility I don't
necessarily believe that thereis like a full balance, you know
what I mean.
Like I I think that it's inseasons and it ebbs and flows
and knowing what your boundariesare at different seasons, like
it's like, okay, I'm willing towork a little bit later today,
(25:55):
or maybe like start a little bitlater, but I know that I'm
doing this and there are timeswhen I'm just, when I won't, you
know, and so, again, it justtakes a lot of practice but
really understanding.
Hey, this is not life or deathand I'm going.
I'm actually better at my jobwhen I have time to decompress.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Those are great examples and I love the fact
where you mentioned thatdifferent boundaries for
different seasons, because if weget stuck kind of doing it one
way, then it's hard of the to-dolist just kind of doesn't end.
Let me ask you a question Doyou take your lunch break?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I do, I do.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I take your paid time off.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yes, okay, I take my paid time off.
I must admit that sometimes onmy lunch break I will like watch
a webinar or something for youknow, or, like you know, maybe
do like 30 minutes of eating andthen like send a quick email
for my business.
You know so, but I do take my,but you eat.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yes, oh yes, I eat Girl.
Yeah, gotta eat Sometimes whenthat internal, external
boundaries that you talk about,we must include meeting our own
needs throughout the workday.
That's important.
(27:42):
So you mentioned some of thethings that you do after you
finish work that are importantto nourish yourself and fill
your cup, like making dinner,going out for a walk, getting to
bed earlier and then during theworkday, and also taking time
off when you need it, becausethat's another thing that tends
to pile up, or a lot of peoplefeel guilt around taking the
actual time that you're gettingpaid to take off, which can
really serve you as filling yourcup, too, when you need a
little bit more of a longerbreak.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Yes, absolutely, and again, little bit more of a
longer break.
Yes, absolutely, and again.
That's one of those things.
Let me tell you, this job whereI was underworked and overpaid
and like had me losing my hairI'm looking back, I'm like super
grateful for it, because Ilearned so many career lessons.
One of them actually was aboutPTO.
I had just started that job,maybe like four months earlier,
(28:23):
and I remember telling them inthe very beginning I was like
listen, I am happy to acceptthis offer, just so, you know, I
have this vacation plan for X,y and Z and I was going to New
York City.
But it was again, it was myfirst job.
I was like a big shot directora,like oh my gosh.
So I was in New York Cityemailing the students, doing
(28:45):
something, and I just realizedI'm like this is a mess, what I
could do in the future, becauseI essentially was like what I
should have done, but I don'tlike to shit myself.
So at the time I said shit, butnow you know.
So like what I should have doneand you know, eventually became
what I could do in the future.
It's like I know I'm actuallygoing to be better about
(29:06):
delegating and assigning rolesand responsibilities prior to
leaving.
And this specific again, it wason campus, the location we were
supposed.
The room was locked so theyneeded to call campus security.
I'm like, okay, if you have anyissues, this is our contact
with facilities you contact themand so, you know, kind of
creating a better plan for whenI'm on leave and not on leave
(29:29):
because leave is, like you know,longer.
It's just like I was takinglike three days off work, you
know.
So it's like creating a betterplan for those and just
recognizing, hey, I am notphysically there and this is
when I worked in office.
I'm not physically there.
I cannot solve this.
These are the people who aregoing to be making, you know,
like day of point of contacts,basically PTO.
(30:05):
You really do want to leavethings in a good place.
Like I always say, your firstjob is to be good at the job
you're hired to do.
Like your primaryresponsibility is to be good at
the at the job you're hired todo.
That's how you get a promotion,that's how you get a raise,
that's how you get an externalposition.
You actually need to be good atyour job and that includes
planning, need to be good atyour job, and that includes
(30:28):
planning to not be there on PTO.
And I also have to say what Ilearned about this in that time
is that there was also a senseof arrogance that I could solve
the problem while I'm away orthat I was the only one who
could handle it, when in realityI wasn't.
In reality there were plenty ofother people who could have
resolved the situation.
So really like another one islike just like get a little over
(30:51):
yourself, you know, just likeunderstand that you are not the
only holder of this knowledge,and if you are, then there may
be a problem.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I think that's how we end up getting burnt out, and I
think a little bit of it is one, yes, getting over yourself,
and another part going back tothe socialization that you
mentioned again, because I thinkit's across the board where we
think we are the only personresponsible or capable of
solving something.
And it happens in the home, too,where it's like oh, we're the
(31:23):
only ones that can do thelaundry, because it has to do a
certain way, we're the only onesthat can do the dishes or cook
or take care of the kids or docertain things.
And it's like, no, you're notthe only one.
Well, granted, if you live byyourself, but usually this is in
situations where there areother adults available and
capable of helping.
(31:43):
And it goes back to like, oh,they can't do it, like I do it,
so I'm going to do it Right.
And it's the same thing at work, like, oh, they're always
asking me questions and withsome of my clients, I empower
them to empower their staff.
And it's like well, if you keepsolving their problems and not
(32:04):
teaching them how to solve it,they're going to continue coming
back to you because it's somuch more easier just to ask you
and then you're going to handleit, or and you continue to step
in Right.
So how do you get morecomfortable with that?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Well, delegating is a skill and, again, like,
delegating is part of being agood manager.
And even if you are anindividual contributor, one of
the phrases that I it'sbasically like, how do you
professionally say like not myjob, you know?
Oh, I want to know, right, it'sjust so, yeah, again, one of the
(32:42):
phrases that I always tell myclients to use you know, like,
if their specific manager isjust like dumping more on their
plate is to be able to say I amhappy to take this on.
What would you like me todeprioritize?
So you're like articulating hey, I can do it, but I'm going to
have to deprioritize somethingelse, and that kind of puts them
(33:04):
in the perspective of like, oh,okay.
And if they're it's like, well,it all needs to be done.
I'm like okay, well, this isthe support that I need in order
to make it happen.
And being able to articulatethat.
And it takes practice.
It takes so much practice.
It may take you feeling likereally uncomfortable at first.
And that's if you're, you know,for example, an individual
(33:25):
contributor role, if you are ina, if you are a manager and you
actually do have members of yourteam that you manage.
It's like understanding thatbeing a good manager is
delegating.
Being a good manager is lettingpeople learn for themselves and
providing that scaffolding.
And while it may be easier onthe short term to just say like
(33:47):
oh, let me do it for you, it'sactually not.
I remember in one of mypositions.
I was managing a program and Ihad to manage the managers,
basically, and so I was checkingin with one of the managers and
he told me he's like, well, ittakes me three hours to teach
him to do something that couldtake me an hour to do, but
(34:11):
eventually I'm going to be ableto fully hand this off.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
And you'll get your hour back.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Right, exactly.
And so I really thought that Iwas like okay, finally one of my
managers understands thepurpose of this program, you
know, because it's literally ajob training and development
program.
Like you sign up to train thisperson.
So, again, just likeunderstanding that.
And if, like being honest withyourself, like if you actually
(34:37):
don't have time to do that, thenand you manage someone on your
team, then you need to likeadvocate, it's like no, we
actually need someone with moreexpertise, we need someone to
come in at the manager level andnot at the junior level to take
on these responsibilities.
But again, it takes practice andI would just say, like, start
(34:57):
small, like it's like okay, youknow again this phrase of um,
how do you you know I am happyto take this on what would you
like me to deprioritize?
And because people love to dumpwork on your plate that is not
yours, you know, you can say, oh, thank you for bringing this up
.
I will flag to my manager incase this is something that she
(35:18):
wants me to work on or that theywant me to work on.
Or oh, thank you, that's out ofthe, that's outside of the
current scope of my role, um,you know.
So something like that.
Or like oh, that's not, like Idon't have bandwidth to take on
a new project that is outside ofthe.
You know the scope of my role,um, so again, it's similar
(35:38):
phrases.
You can, you know like it's,it's something like that.
But to be able to actually sayno, and again, not, not.
It may not even be no, like aflat out no, it can be like yes,
but what am I not gonna do?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
or just know yeah or not, my job to like all these
people that want to dump work onyou yeah, okay.
So what happens because I have alot of clients who also work in
family businesses what happenswhen there is just so much at
stake?
Because it's what your familyhas created, it is part of your
(36:15):
survival, it is how they've beenable to support you.
You're also in, like, withinthat job, you're in a high
career as well, and the dynamicschange because now it's not
just boss or corporate executiveand you, it's like family
member and you, and they're alsoyour boss, like how does the
(36:39):
dynamics change a little bit?
How do the boundaries maybe getblurred?
How do you still make time formeeting your own needs when
you're in a family workenvironment?
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes.
So I think this is a greatquestion because, um, you know,
we know that immigrants aredriving force behind the economy
, you know, and startingbusinesses.
I mean, I worked for my dad allthrough grad school and let me
tell you, I love my father andhe's not like the best boss
Doesn't have clear communicationskills, does not?
(37:15):
It was?
It took me years after Istopped working from him that
like if I would get a call fromhim in the middle of the day, I
would get like like I would getso nervous because I was like,
oh my God, did I forget to sendan invoice?
Did I forget to go pick up acheck?
Did I like I thought it was myboss calling, not my dad calling
(37:37):
?
You know, and so like Iunderstand that dynamic and it
blurs.
And especially, you know I liveat home with my dad, so you
know.
And so like I understand thatdynamic and it blurs.
And especially, you know Ilived at home with my dad, so
you know like I'd be home andhe's like, hey, go do this.
And I was like, okay, so, or Imean, eventually he got better
at it.
He was like, when you get tothe office tomorrow, you know,
do x, y or z, and so Iunderstand that.
(37:58):
You know, and I also, I also, I, I.
So again, that's just onedynamic Um, but I've supported
my mom with her business andit's.
It is a lot of things, but atthe end of the day, you still
are a person, like a human, whoneeds to prioritize their
humanity, and that is happeningat the workplace.
(38:19):
So, even if you need to say like, hey, I haven't moved from this
desk in three hours, I need totake a minute to step outside.
Or like, hey, I'm going to takemy lunch away from this desk, or
like, yes, there's so much todo, I will call them back, and
(38:39):
again, you just have to startsmall, it, it, it.
You just have to start small.
It's the same thing.
You just have to start small,like I, you know, like I'm going
to work eight to eight to 12and I will just take a 20 minute
break.
I'm going to have, I'm notgoing to take the office phone,
I'm not going to answer emailsfor those 20 minutes while I eat
my lunch, and peace.
And and what's interesting,even as I'm saying this, I
(39:02):
remember so I have three sisters.
When we were kids, my mom wouldsay not to interrupt her, when
there was like three times whenwe couldn't call her to like,
you know, poner quejas, to likecomplain or tattle, or whatnot,
and it was when she was sleeping, when she was eating and when
she was in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yes, mom, oh my gosh, I need to take notes from your
mom.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Yes, and I, you know, and the thing is like I mean,
when I was mine and I was likefighting with my sisters and had
lots of things to say, I didn'tcare that she was eating and I
wanted her attention, but thatwas the rule, you know, like we
have to wait until she was doneeating, or like we couldn't wake
her up to complain, you know.
Or or her use the bathroom inpeace, and I think that's one of
(39:49):
the things that really taughtme those boundaries early on.
And so, like at work, and I'mlike, listen, I will show up at
work, but just let me eat inpeace and let me use the
bathroom in peace.
And so I mean shouldn't be Idon't know about should or
shouldn't be sleeping at work.
That's a whole other thing, youknow.
(40:12):
But again, like even justthinking about, like those
boundaries from my mom that Ilearned as a kid not that I love
them as a child, but I reallydo admire them as an adult, that
I love them as a child, but Ireally do admire them as an
adult, and especially in familyowned businesses, like, yes,
everything is, everything is soimportant.
Right, and so am I.
Like I and you know it's likeyou, can I mean?
(40:34):
I don't know if this is toodramatic for some people, but
I'm like if I faint, we're goingto have a bigger problem.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
So it is true, though Like if you're out sick for two
weeks.
That's a bigger problem.
If you have to go to agazillion doctor's appointments
to figure out what's happening.
That's a bigger problem.
Like everybody can afford 20,30 minutes for you to get some
fresh air and eat a lunch orstep out for a second.
(41:02):
I always think of the peoplewho smoke and they're always
outside and it's like theythey're just there multiple
times a day, just, and I'm like,could you, you could just step
outside and breathe some freshair.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Exactly, yes, I agree .
So again, just, it startsinternally.
You need to be able to likestand up for yourself, and and
not it, it I would.
I mean if somebody can say like, hey, I'm going to be like you
know, take two weeks of vacation, Nobody bothered me, after
never setting up any boundaries.
Sure, More power to them, butmost of us are going to need to
(41:36):
take it step by step.
You know, most of us are goingto have to like start small,
even something as like I'm goingto be you know, like I'm going
to step outside for five minutesbecause I haven't moved from
this desk in you know four hours.
Or hey, I'm going to like eatmy lunch in peace, I'm not going
to be answering any emails, andit again, it requires a lot of
(41:59):
the times, a physical change,Like if you're telling people
I'm going to eat my lunch inpeace and then you stay at your
desk, that's going to make itvery, very difficult for them to
honor that boundary.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
So, literally, get up and for yourself.
I think for yourself too,because you're going to be so
tempted with your computer rightthere and be like, oh, let me
just check, let me just you knowyes.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
You know, one of the things that I, that I I talked
about it in the beginning, itwas like my after work routine.
I actually help a lot of myclients with an after work
routine because a boundary isjust a space.
It can be like it's justdistance from yourself and a
situation that you don't want torepeat or that you want to
prevent, and so in many casesthat boundary can say like hey,
(42:45):
don't talk to me while I'm atlunch.
But even if you can't say thatagain, just like moving.
And James Clear when he talksabout atomic habits and he talks
about like the cues.
So let's say like you have analarm on your phone and that's
your cue to get up and movePeople will eventually learn.
People will eventually learn toleave you alone or that you
(43:06):
will get.
You know that you will get backto them.
You know, and it may take againrepetition and it's like hey,
I'm actually really enjoying mylunch break, I will be back in
you know X number of minutes andI'll take care of it then.
And then if they ask you canyou?
He's like nope, you can justrepeat it, I'm in my lunch break
, I will take care of it.
When I had a manager that wassort of not honoring my boundary
(43:30):
.
We were talking about salaryand it was a hot mess.
I remember in that conversationI had to tell him three times
it was like I haven't had timeto read the email yet, so I need
time to digest the informationbefore I can discuss it.
And then he pushed it and Isaid I need time to digest the
information before I can discussit.
And then blah, blah, blah, andthen I literally said it a third
(43:51):
time and I'm like, if you'regoing to be a jerk, I'm going to
make you see how much of a jerkyou're being by having to
repeat myself three times.
And again, he may not havenoticed that that's what he was
doing, but that doesn't meanthat I have to move an inch to
honor somebody's lack ofself-awareness.
And again something in thissituation, like even not having
(44:14):
time to, you know, to like nothaving time to like take a lunch
.
It's like okay, I will just letpeople know, I will do that.
One of the things that I had todo when I worked for my dad is
I had to go deposit the checks,and those have to be deposited
before 9 PM, which is nineo'clock, and I wasn't working
until nine o'clock at night, butsometimes he would get late and
(44:37):
give them to me at like 830.
So that was something that wasdefinitely time bound, but it
was something that's like hey,dad, I'm not going to be home,
like I have an event, I have aclass tonight or something.
If you need me to depositchecks, you need to do them by X
number of time.
So, again, just like,communicating your needs
proactively also can help starta pattern of having other people
(45:02):
respect your boundaries, butyou need to decide what they are
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Absolutely and continuing.
You need to honor the boundaryfor you first before you have
other people honor them.
One last question that I thinkis super important and it's
benefits and how, your actualbenefits package.
That is something also that'ssuper confusing to me.
(45:27):
I was like what is all thispaperwork, what is FSH, what is
HSA, what is blah blah blah, pt,ppo, and nowadays I know that
there are so many perks inside abenefits package that you
should be taking an advantage ofand can really impact your
wellness.
(45:47):
Can you speak a little bit onhow benefits is also part?
It's not just like the physicalmoney piece, but this can
really be a big, I guess, toolor vehicle to your wellness and
your overall career.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Yes, absolutely.
I have an episode that I wouldlove to share with your audience
.
Oh, yes, yes, let me see.
It's one of my most recentepisodes before I went on break.
So 13, more than salary,episode 131, 13, que estoy?
13, episode 131, more than justsalary.
(46:26):
How to evaluate a job offer.
And I talk about what?
Well, what do you mean?
Isn't that just like yoursalary?
But it's not.
It's so much more.
And so you mentioned FSA, hsa,FSA.
The first thing that I want tosay is that if you're working at
(47:05):
a workplace that offers thesebenefits, there's usually a
benefits administrator that youcan contact and ask questions.
They're literally there toanswer your questions.
It is quite literally their jobto answer your questions.
If you didn't have questions,they wouldn't have a job.
So ask them all your questions.
That's the first thing.
Like, always advocate foryourself in getting the
(47:27):
information that you need andalso double check it, because
sometimes they may have again,just you know, trust but verify,
type of thing.
So that's the first thing thatI want to say.
The second thing is healthbenefits that can be tied to
your job.
Check if your job has, like, adiscount for gym memberships.
I think my job has a gymmembership that is like
(47:50):
different tiers and that you canaccess like basically any gym
in the area for like $30 a month.
And then you can access likeslightly fancier gyms for like
$50 a month and that's waycheaper than you know, like any
individual gym membership.
There's also and I know thatthis is part of your story, but
you may have access to anutritionist or a dietician as
(48:13):
part of your job benefits.
A big one is fertility benefits.
A lot of larger employees arehaving fertility benefits.
One of my friends, her husband.
Her husband works for one ofthe largest companies in the
world, so this is probably oneof like the wildest benefits
(48:34):
that I've seen.
I'm like that benefit isliterally more than what people
make in a year, but it is$50,000 of reimbursement for
fertility such as egg treatment.
Now that's absolutely wild.
Most companies I've seen arelike in the 10K to 20K range,
but again, just to put anotherpoint of data out there.
(48:55):
And so there are many people Imean there are many companies
that offer not just fertilitybut family planning.
So, for example, if you areadopting or any other type of
family planning services, checkwith your benefits administrator
or the benefits page in youremployee intranet to see what
(49:15):
that is, because that is a bigone.
There's also sometimeseducation benefits.
So, whether that is uh likespecifically like it has to be
like a degree program, orsometimes it can be like a
wellness stipend, like if youtake a cooking class, can your
job reimburse you.
Sometimes, uh, you know,there's like smoking cessation
(49:38):
programs, where if you stopsmoking, the your job will
reimburse you, you know, or sothere's definitely lots of like
wellness benefits.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Some of my clients have used their stipends to do
coaching with me.
So, yeah, or HSAs, things likethat, you know Um, so definitely
take a look into that, becauseyou might be you might have
resources that you didn't knowabout.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yes.
One last one that I do want tosay is you might have employee
assistance programs, so ESP, andsometimes that is access to a
mental health provider within avery short notice, like outside
of you know, like your regularmental health benefits or
(50:24):
whatever.
It may or may not be included.
They may have this it's calledthis because I'm employee
assistance program EAP, so checkif they have that Um.
Other times they have um.
Within EAP they may have uhbenefit.
I mean, I'm sorry they may havecounselors that specialize in
disordered eating or justintrusive thoughts about food,
(50:48):
but there may be a similarbenefit related to access to a
food counselor, a nutrition plan, and so, again, just make sure
that you look into that because,remember, it benefits your
employer for you to be healthyand for you to show up and be
able to do your work.
So if they offer it, it'sbecause it benefits them, so
(51:09):
make sure that you use it.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Yes, and don't avoid it just because it's complicated
Like I would do.
I in one of my last rounds incorporate, I went into the
office of one of the HR benefitspeople and I didn't know what
questions to ask which I thinkis fair and I just literally had
them explain to me everybenefit package that they
(51:35):
offered and what it meant.
And you can start there and itwas super helpful and it helped
me make a better decision for myfamily that I didn't know about
because I had not asked.
All right, Carla, one thingthat you wish everybody would
know, something that comes upwith almost every single client,
and you're like if they knewthis one thing, things would
(51:56):
change for them in their career.
Do you have something like thatthat shows?
Speaker 2 (52:00):
up.
Yes, yes, actually, I was likeoh, so many things, and there
are a lot of things, but the onething that I want people to
realize, as a first genprofessional, as a Latina, as a
daughter of immigrants you areoperating at a higher level of
excellence than most peoplearound you.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
What God, I was expecting that.
Okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, and here's the thing your 50% is probably
better than Joe Schmoe's 100%.
So you are comparing yourselfand this adds to the stress,
this adds to the burnout.
You're comparing yourself tothe best version of yourself.
But remember, you're not paidfor your best day.
(52:45):
You're paid for your bareminimum day.
So when you're showing up atlike 50%, you're still operating
at a significantly higher levelof excellence.
I have this sticker and I'mreally sad because it was an
online store and it closed.
Sad because it was an onlinestore and it closed, but it says
(53:10):
I have a pretty big ass.
So when I half-ass something,you're still getting something
incredible.
I love it and I'm like this ismy entire workplace definition
Like as, again, as Latinas andas women of color and children
of immigrants, we are operatinglike we have such a high level
of operational excellence thateven if we bring it to 50%,
we're still kicking ass.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
You don't need to do the most.
We don't need to do most.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Yes, and so that's what I just want to leave you
with, like you're doing so muchbetter.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I think you just gave so many people so much
permission.
Yes, thank you Seriously.
Oh my gosh, that was abrilliant ending and a brilliant
metaphor.
Thank you for that.
Thank you so much for sharingall your gems.
I think this was superimportant and like permission
(53:59):
driven and enlightening for somany of us to hear and we really
appreciate you and your time,carla.
Speaker 2 (54:06):
Thank you and thank you for having me.
I I love, I love being on thispodcast.
I love you, I love your showand I love your listeners, so
thank you all for for listeningstill.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
Yes, and we love you, we appreciate you as always.
If you need to get in touchwith Carla, all her information
is going to be in the show notes, but if you would like to let
everybody know how they can findyou, what you have to offer,
where they can maybe have someof your courses or your
workshops so they can learn more, yes, of course.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
So first, you can find the First Gen Coach podcast
wherever you're listening tothis podcast.
You can follow me on Instagram.
I'm mostly active on stories Irealize that's where I'm always,
you know, telling stories.
I clearly love to talk, but youcan work with me a few
different ways.
You can work with me insideone-on-one coaching.
You can also get your job oryour favorite nonprofit
(55:00):
organization to hire me for aworkshop.
Okay, so you can ask your jobor like if you have an ERG, or
even like any professionaldevelopment funds and you want
to work inside of a minicoaching package, for example,
for two weeks, so we can do thatone-on-one.
Or you can get your job to payfor me to come speak to your
group.
And then, lastly, one thingthat I really would love
(55:23):
everybody to sign up for is myLinkedIn mini course.
That has been so life-changing.
It's something that I launcheda few months ago and people have
already told me like they'vegotten job offers.
I got a message on Instagramthe other day.
It said Carla, all because Ifollowed your strategies and
(55:43):
she's showed me like a pictureof the job offer.
And she said job interviewyesterday, job interview today.
And I was like yes.
So you can find that all at thelink in my bio, and I really
would love more people toleverage LinkedIn, because this
is where these high paying jobswith benefits are.
(56:04):
They're on LinkedIn.
So come learn how to leverageLinkedIn through my course.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
Yes, linkedin queen over here, please go and get all
those goodies.
Again, the information is goingto be in the show notes so that
you don't have to tinker around.
You can connect directly toCarla.
Thank you so much, carla.
It was beautiful talking to youand thank you everybody for
listening.
We will see y'all next week.
Bye.
Hello friends, welcome back to the podcast.
Today we're switching it up andwe're having a beautiful guest
in her realm of expertise, whichis careers increasing your
(00:29):
salaries and settingwell-deserved boundaries with
your job so that you arewell-paid and well taken care of
.
A little bit about CarlaSantamaria, because she's an
expert guest today.
She is Miami-basedHonduran-born immigrant who more
than doubled her salary in 10months by job hopping from
(00:53):
higher ed to healthcare to tech.
In addition to her full-timejob, karla is a career coach on
a mission to help first-genwomen of color increase their
salaries by 30k in six months,or less.
Okay, since 2021, she's helpedher clients collectively
increase their salaries by morethan half a million dollars.
(01:13):
Carla is the host of the firstgen coach podcast, a career and
lifestyle podcast wherefirst-gen professional latinas
learn to advance their careers,unlearn limiting beliefs and
build wealth.
So if you want more to listenmore on her gems, you can find
her podcast.
Welcome, Kadla.
Please tell us more aboutyourself.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Thank you so much, naomi.
I am so happy to be here.
I was going to say this is mythree-peat, but I actually think
this is my fourth time, maybe,yeah, because I think the first
one was one of our like ourcoaching calls that was shared,
and then, uh, so, so, yeah, somaybe it's the three feet or the
fourth feet, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Anyway, I think it is the fourth time.
Yeah, I think you've been thelongest standing guests on this
podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Thank you so much.
I really, uh, I am honored andI'm so excited to be back this
time sharing a little bit moreabout my professional expertise
and career-based expertise.
Really think it's all connected.
So a little bit about me.
As you said, born in Honduras,raised in Miami and I'm still
(02:28):
based out of South Florida, Istarted my coaching business
about four years ago and thiswas born out of transitioning.
I mentioned job hopping.
You mentioned job hopping in mybio.
So I transitioned out of highereducation and into the corporate
setting and I realized that ashigher education professionals,
we had been doing a great job ofpreparing first gen students
(02:53):
for success.
But then, once they graduated,we were kind of just throwing
them to the wolves of theworkplace, whether that's
corporate America, whetherthat's nonprofit, federal state
governments.
And when I saw that, I rememberfeeling so overwhelmed because
I remember getting my firstbenefits package and like
(03:13):
sweating, sweating, I'm likewhat is this?
And I have like three weeks tofigure it out.
And I was so stressed.
And that's when I had thatrealization of like, oh no, is
this how all of our studentshave been feeling right after
they graduate and they get theirfirst job.
So that's a little bit abouthow First Gen Coaching and
Consulting was born.
(03:34):
Similarly my podcast.
I had a different name in thebeginning.
I just went through your namechange, so I'm super excited
about that.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Oh, my God is it called something else.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
No, no, no girl.
The first six episodes of mypodcast were called like
activate your potential, and Imean you know what?
I have a lot of love for thatversion of myself who put her
podcast out there.
And then, you know, after thatI was like no, all of my
conversations center around whatit means to be first gen in the
workplace, what it means to befirst gen professional, and so
(04:06):
that's how I really pivoted andembraced the first gen coach.
And right now I'm also in alittle bit of a pivot in terms
of my coaching business myself,because, as much as I do love
this one-on-one coaching,there's only so much one-on-one
I can do.
So what are the ways that I canreach more people, help more
first-gen professionals haveaccess to this message?
(04:28):
So that looks a lot more likespeaking engagements.
I actually had my first keynotein a couple of months.
Yeah, thank you.
You know I recently did asalary negotiation workshop for
a big membership group that Idon't want to name workshop for
a big membership group that Idon't want to name but when they
reached out to me, I wasthrilled and just reaching more
(04:54):
folks in that way, so kind ofjust really embracing the larger
stages.
So that's the kind of thelittle pivot that I am in, or
maybe it's a big pivot.
I tell all my clients not todiscount their accomplishments,
so I'm not going to discountmine either.
But yes, that's me careerstrategist, linkedin expert and
go-to person for all thingsfirst-gen professional
(05:15):
experience.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That's beautiful, and I'll tell you over and over
again I am so happy that you dothis work because I was a
first-gen professional.
Before I was in health coaching, I was in a 12-year corporate
career and every single timethat benefits came around
packages, you know, reviews Iwas always freaking out and I
(05:38):
had no one to guide me.
So you're here for ourcommunity and that is absolutely
wonderful.
So in getting into all this, Iknow that people are like what,
how do you, how did you helpyour clients increase their
salary by more than half amillion?
Like, what is it that?
What are the skills?
(06:00):
I want to say Because I dobelieve that that these are
skills that are missing becauseof the gaps in generation in our
community that we're missing tohelp us increase our salaries.
And I know that money is soimportant more than ever now,
and it is one of the kind oftools that you need to have in
(06:21):
order to take good care ofyourself.
Not always and not all the time.
There are different ways thatwe can take care of our wellness
that is not so costly, butsometimes you would like to
invest more and therefore itrequires you having more of a
higher income to invest inyourself in that way.
So what do you think is one ofthe missing skills, or a few of
(06:44):
them, from our generation thathas really helped your clients
increase their salaries by somuch?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yes, so a couple of things.
The first thing that I want toname is the system that we're in
, so we can have all the skills,but we need to acknowledge that
we're navigating systems.
So I'm going to give youraudience a sneak peek of a sub
stack that I will be publishingsoon, and it's literally called
(07:13):
navigating invisible systems.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Or not so invisible nowadays.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Right exactly Now that they're upheld by the
Supreme Court, but anyway.
So I just want to first startby acknowledging the systems
that we're in.
I firmly believe that theworkplace exists at the
intersection of multiple systemsof oppression.
So you have a history of sexism, you have a history of racism,
you have a history of ableismwithin capitalist white
(07:42):
supremacy, and so all of that, Ithink, causes women of color in
particular to be socializedinto low-paying, nonprofit jobs.
So you had a corporate careerin marketing, so you were
probably one of the very fewLatinas and women of color in
that space, and again, I thinkthat this is by design.
(08:03):
So one of the first ways thatI'm going to name that I've
helped my clients increase theirsalaries by that much is simply
by transitioning into a higherpaying career.
So just leaving the nonprofitsector, leaving education and
transitioning into a career thatjust simply pays more.
That's one way.
The second way is helping themunderstand the value that they
(08:26):
add to the workplace.
That's the third way.
I'm going to come back to that.
The second one is really justacknowledging their greatness
and it is tied into that.
But it's that mindset first andit's like no, no, you really
have to kind of own I mean notkind of.
You have to fully own yourgreatness before you can
(08:49):
articulate the value that youbring to your workplace.
I remember with one of myclients, I was doing this
exercise that I do with all ofmy clients and it's an exercise
that helps them really findtheir career values and their
passions and their strengths andtheir skills.
And I asked her what's a timethat you felt really energized
in the workplace?
And she was telling me aboutthis project, and this project
(09:11):
was part of a grant that she wasmanaging.
And so I asked her have youever done the math for how many
like how much money you'reactually managing in these
grants?
Because she was a grant managerand she's like you know what
I'm going to do it tonight.
She sends me a text immediatelyafter, or like in the next
morning, and she says Carla, Imanage $150 million in grants.
I was like what.
I would be so annoying if Imanaged $150 million in grants.
(09:36):
That would be the first thingthat came out of my mouth.
I'd be like, hi, my name isCarlos Santamaria and I manage
$150 million in grants.
And so once she was able toarticulate the value that she
was bringing to her workplace,even though we had previously
worked together and she hadgotten a raise.
She went back, took that amountand got another raise.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
So this is as a state employee.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know how hard it is to get three raises in 18
months as a state employee.
So again, the first one toanswer your question of how
we're able to do this.
First one is transitioning to ahigher payer industry.
Second one is articulating thevalue that you bring to the
workplace and that's how many ofmy clients have been able to
get raises within their currentroles.
(10:19):
And I love doing that becauseit's why I said it's not a
little pivot, it's a big pivotbecause I'm constantly telling
my clients not to diminish theirexpertise and their greatness.
So I'm not going to do that formyself either.
I had a different client who wasworking in like she
(10:41):
transitioned into a new rolewithin the same company and it
was she was like doing like aninventory supervisor and she
told me that for her first yearshe was able to reduce the
inventory loss from over it waslike nine, over nine hundred and
fifty thousand dollars, so likeclose to a million, down to
less than a hundred thousanddollars.
(11:02):
So she's like so she reduced itby 90 percent.
I, I asked her, I was like yousaved your company almost a
million dollars.
And she was like well, it waslike $879,000.
I was like that's a milliondollars, you know.
And then in her second year shefurther reduced it from that
100K to less than 10K and I waslike, oh my God, and this is not
(11:22):
on your resume.
So I was, like you know, likepalpitating, like OK, let's put
this on your resume.
So, really, those two thingslike acknowledging the systems
and that they're just simply arethere, just simply are some
careers and sectors that payless than the second one is like
understanding the value thatyou add to your workplace and
that comes from being able tolike own your, your strength and
(11:44):
expertise, you that you add toyour workplace, and that comes
from being able to own yourstrength and expertise.
And then one last one that I dowant to add is understanding the
market rate of your skills.
So I've done a lot of episodesabout this.
I mean I actually, in my salarynegotiation workshop that I
just did, I teach the fourfactors that impact your salary,
because a lot of us areunderpaid because we don't
(12:06):
understand, we just simply don'tknow what someone with X number
of degrees, x number of yearsof experience, x number of
knowledge and expertise, we justdon't know what the market rate
for that is so.
That is like the third one.
It's more of a skills andknowledge component that I
incorporate into being able toarticulate the value that you
bring to the workplace.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah, and how do you find out your market rate?
You just Google it, orsomething.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Go again.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
How do you find out what the market rate is Like?
Do you Google it or is there awebsite that you check for it?
I'm like I want to find this.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
There are four factors that impact your pay.
The first one is your industry,so this is your general sector.
Are you in agriculture, are youin consumer goods?
Are you in marketing, are youin education, are you in
hospitality?
This is the overarchingumbrella of the type of work.
So that's the first one.
(13:05):
The second one is location.
Somebody living in New YorkCity with such an extremely high
cost of living as you are, youknow, naomi that is
significantly higher pay is tiedto that location.
Florida is super expensive.
It's not quite as expensive.
(13:26):
Or you know somebody living inTopeka, kansas.
So location also impacts um.
The third one is your actualjob.
So are you working forKellogg's under human resources,
or are you working for and itengineering?
(13:47):
you know so that's the functionand the one is your level of
expertise and this is you knowlike, are you early career, so
job titles usually tied to thatour coordinator, specialist
analyst, and those are rolesthat require a lot of support
from your leader.
Um, in order to you, you don'tusually have a lot of decision
(14:07):
making abilities.
As you get mid-level and thisis manager, senior manager type
roles you have more autonomy andthen, as you progress towards
director, senior director andplus into like executive roles,
you're managing not just teams,but teams of teams.
You're managing budget.
So those are the four factorsthat are tied into the market
(14:30):
rate.
So that is industry, location,function and expertise.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Oh my gosh.
So good.
I thought it was just like therestaurant market rates fish.
You just weigh it, you knowwhat you pay in the market.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yes, but that's a great example, because tilapia
has a different market rate thansalmon or than halibut or than
caviar, you know.
So so, yes, different, andthere's different things that
determine the market rate fordifferent, you know.
And again, the market rate islike what somebody is willing to
pay for it and in theemployment context, it's what
employers are willing to pay forthis combination of skills,
experiences and location.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Many women in our community and leads them into
chronic illness most of the time, and that is stress and not
having boundaries at work.
Because I don't know if you canrelate to this, but I know that
(15:35):
most of us, going back to yourinitial point of socialization,
it's like don't like always begrateful for your job.
You don't want to ruffle anyfeathers, you don't want to
speak up.
If you work hard, people willnotice and you don't have to
advocate for yourself.
I know you're going to loseyour shit on that side of the
screen, I know, but it's whatthey tell us, right?
(15:57):
So how do we go from this kindof socialization to the actual
world where we're living in,where we have to have receipts,
we have to speak up and settingboundaries so that we're
actually taking care of ourhealth and know that we're doing
a good job too.
(16:18):
We just don't need to haveeverybody just roll over us.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh my gosh.
So much.
And, yes, I am about to lose mymind.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I saw you twitching, I know.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
One of the most fired up times was like I saw some
post about being grateful foryour job and I was like
absolutely not.
And yes, there is gratitudedoesn't mean that you let people
walk all over you.
You know and I think about thisphrase that my dad says he says
(16:50):
el trabajo se cuida or hay quecuidar el trabajo, or something
like that Like you're supposedto take care of your job, and
what he means by that is to likebe a good employee.
You know to.
Again, like you said, like notruffle any feathers.
A good employee, you know to,again, like you said, like not
ruffle any feathers.
And again, this is one of thekey differences and why I focus
so much on like being a firstgen professional, because that
(17:14):
means that you're the first onein your family to achieve
certain education and employmentand basically life milestones.
So it is inclusive of race andgender and the way that that
shows up is like if our parentswere working these very
exhausting, demanding physicallabor jobs.
They taught us how to show upin the workplace in that way.
(17:38):
But corporate environments or,you know, I guess, white collar
environments, and that isinclusive of.
You know, I guess white collarenvironments, and that is
inclusive of you know, likegovernment and private sector
and public sector and nonprofit.
But still these like quoteunquote office jobs, that's not
going to fly.
That's why you have to be ableto articulate the value that you
bring to your job, because it'snot as visible physically you
(18:02):
know what I mean Like if you'reout on the street like and you
pick more tomatoes than yourother, than the person who you
know, like somebody else.
That's visible and like.
You know what I mean.
Like it's not white yeah,intangible.
It's not quite like that inwhite collar jobs or like in
quote-unquote professional jobs.
I don't love that word, that'swhy I said it in quotes, um, and
(18:24):
it's why one of the sort oflike the pillars of my podcast
is unlearning certain beliefs.
So if we show up in theworkplace like I'm just so
grateful to be here and I don'twant to rock the boat and I have
to be like meek, have to belike meek and quiet and not
(18:50):
getting any trouble, thatmentality, which is valid
because it helps our parents andour ancestors survive, is not
what is going to help you thriveand stand out and get that
promotion or that raise or eventhat fair pay in the workplace.
You know, in like the whitecollar workplace and so and this
is why people get stressed, Imean, I mean stress exists in so
(19:11):
many different ways, but thisis what one of the reasons that
it's compounded, you know, likethere's this feeling of like I
like, I think it's an internalknowing.
You know, again, one of theways that I help my clients
increase their salaries isbecause a lot of them have come
to me with like I think I'munderpaid.
Like there's this internalsense of knowing and again very
(19:35):
valid like this, like shrinkingand being invisible, has been
what has helped our ancestorssurvive, because being visible
can be very dangerous or hasbeen very dangerous in the past.
And so I just want to name that.
All those things are valid andthey were taught to us lovingly.
They were taught to us to keepus safe and now that we have a
(20:01):
little bit more privilege, weare able to unlearn those
beliefs so that we can movebeyond survival mode and into
thriving mode.
And one of the ways to managethis and then to to be to move
past survival, is to manageworkplace related stress.
So let's talk about boundaries.
(20:22):
This can be really reallydifficult.
I mean, even I mentioned that Ihave a full-time corporate role
and I actually recently starteda different role.
That has me, like it's justsignificantly different and
significantly more, I would say,mentally challenging.
So some of the ways that I'vebeen able to set boundaries,
(20:43):
like with myself, are, you know,like I've taken a break from my
podcast.
You know, like I've I've I'vegone to sleep earlier because I
need more.
Like I know that I'm like Iactually need my full eight
hours of sleep, like that'snon-negotiable.
You know, even those are thesethings that are outside of work
but that helped me show up inthe workplace and that helped me
(21:06):
use my voice and use, like, mymental capacity to like, deliver
my set of deliverables, youknow.
But again, it's like settingboundaries in the workplace and
outside of the workplace.
So when I started workingremote during COVID, I would do
this thing where I wouldphysically close my laptop and
then I would go on a walk and Istill I mean now I just press
(21:29):
the escape key to, you know like, to shut off the screen, but I
still do that and like, and Iremove myself from my workplace
area and I, you know like, go ona walk.
Sometimes it's raining, so thatdoesn't happen, you know.
Or sometimes I'm working alittle bit late and I just want
to get dinner started, but Istill have this sort of after
(21:51):
work ritual.
Again, it's one of the thingsthat I help my clients with,
because if your work is bleedinginto your home life, that's
going to compound that stress.
Several years ago I found myselfon our after work walks and me
and my fiance just complainingabout my boss and I I heard
myself and I was like, oh, I'mso sick of myself, like I'm so
(22:13):
annoyed.
I'm like I do not want to bethe person that complains about
their boss after work.
And so then I got a new job.
I was like I can't do this.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I'm like I was.
How do you get yourself to thatpoint where you shut down?
I think that's the hard part oflike actually stopping and
being like okay, I don't need todo one more thing, I don't need
to answer one more emailno-transcript.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
But I remember in my first job, post-grad school, I
was the youngest person on myteam.
Grad school, I was the youngestperson on my team and I was
basically so overwhelmed becauseI had this endless to-do list.
And I remember we had an eventlike an additional training or
something, and it took me awayfrom my office and into a
(23:38):
different setting and I was onmy phone emailing the office
staff about the certain thingsthat they needed to do.
And I was on my phone emailingthe office staff about the
certain things that they neededto do and I was sitting next to
this woman that I worked with,you know, like in a professional
capacity.
She was a department head andshe was like maybe 20 years
older than me and she kind oflike was able to sense my
(24:02):
frantic energy.
And I told her and she was likewhat's going on?
And I told her everything thatI was going, that I needed to do
, and she was like, carlette,today this is your job, and she
was like listen.
I, when I interviewed for thisposition as the you know
department head, the dean toldme you're never going to finish
(24:23):
your to-do list and I was likehuh, and I'm really glad that I
learned that in my first job outof grad school, because it was
somebody who was senior to me inher role and in years and
quoting, basically almost likemy highest boss at the
institution, saying you're nevergoing to finish my to-do list,
your to-do list, and she wastelling you today, this is your
(24:44):
job.
And I had this thought.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
As in being present.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Yes, being present, being in the training, yeah, and
I was like, yeah, you know what, this is my job, and that it
really helped me reframe.
It's like, okay, this to-dolist is just never going to get,
never going to finish, andthat's okay.
So what I do is I'm able tolike really hone in on what are
the top three priorities, likewhat do I, what must I do today
(25:13):
and what can, what can get donetomorrow?
You know, and again I kind ofjust do that negotiation every
day Obviously there are somedays and some jobs and that
there's, you know, like I may beworking late, or that you know
somebody may be working late.
There are some seasons, like ifyou get a tax deadline on April
15th, it literally cannot waituntil April 16th, you know.
(25:35):
So just like allowing yourselfthat flexibility I don't
necessarily believe that thereis like a full balance, you know
what I mean.
Like I I think that it's inseasons and it ebbs and flows
and knowing what your boundariesare at different seasons, like
it's like, okay, I'm willing towork a little bit later today,
(25:55):
or maybe like start a little bitlater, but I know that I'm
doing this and there are timeswhen I'm just, when I won't, you
know, and so, again, it justtakes a lot of practice but
really understanding.
Hey, this is not life or deathand I'm going.
I'm actually better at my jobwhen I have time to decompress.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Those are great examples and I love the fact
where you mentioned thatdifferent boundaries for
different seasons, because if weget stuck kind of doing it one
way, then it's hard of the to-dolist just kind of doesn't end.
Let me ask you a question Doyou take your lunch break?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I do, I do.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I take your paid time off.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yes, okay, I take my paid time off.
I must admit that sometimes onmy lunch break I will like watch
a webinar or something for youknow, or, like you know, maybe
do like 30 minutes of eating andthen like send a quick email
for my business.
You know so, but I do take my,but you eat.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yes, oh yes, I eat Girl.
Yeah, gotta eat Sometimes whenthat internal, external
boundaries that you talk about,we must include meeting our own
needs throughout the workday.
That's important.
(27:42):
So you mentioned some of thethings that you do after you
finish work that are importantto nourish yourself and fill
your cup, like making dinner,going out for a walk, getting to
bed earlier and then during theworkday, and also taking time
off when you need it, becausethat's another thing that tends
to pile up, or a lot of peoplefeel guilt around taking the
actual time that you're gettingpaid to take off, which can
really serve you as filling yourcup, too, when you need a
little bit more of a longerbreak.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Yes, absolutely, and again, little bit more of a
longer break.
Yes, absolutely, and again.
That's one of those things.
Let me tell you, this job whereI was underworked and overpaid
and like had me losing my hairI'm looking back, I'm like super
grateful for it, because Ilearned so many career lessons.
One of them actually was aboutPTO.
I had just started that job,maybe like four months earlier,
(28:23):
and I remember telling them inthe very beginning I was like
listen, I am happy to acceptthis offer, just so, you know, I
have this vacation plan for X,y and Z and I was going to New
York City.
But it was again, it was myfirst job.
I was like a big shot directora,like oh my gosh.
So I was in New York Cityemailing the students, doing
(28:45):
something, and I just realizedI'm like this is a mess, what I
could do in the future, becauseI essentially was like what I
should have done, but I don'tlike to shit myself.
So at the time I said shit, butnow you know.
So like what I should have doneand you know, eventually became
what I could do in the future.
It's like I know I'm actuallygoing to be better about
(29:06):
delegating and assigning rolesand responsibilities prior to
leaving.
And this specific again, it wason campus, the location we were
supposed.
The room was locked so theyneeded to call campus security.
I'm like, okay, if you have anyissues, this is our contact
with facilities you contact themand so, you know, kind of
creating a better plan for whenI'm on leave and not on leave
(29:29):
because leave is, like you know,longer.
It's just like I was takinglike three days off work, you
know.
So it's like creating a betterplan for those and just
recognizing, hey, I am notphysically there and this is
when I worked in office.
I'm not physically there.
I cannot solve this.
These are the people who aregoing to be making, you know,
like day of point of contacts,basically PTO.
(30:05):
You really do want to leavethings in a good place.
Like I always say, your firstjob is to be good at the job
you're hired to do.
Like your primaryresponsibility is to be good at
the at the job you're hired todo.
That's how you get a promotion,that's how you get a raise,
that's how you get an externalposition.
You actually need to be good atyour job and that includes
planning, need to be good atyour job, and that includes
(30:28):
planning to not be there on PTO.
And I also have to say what Ilearned about this in that time
is that there was also a senseof arrogance that I could solve
the problem while I'm away orthat I was the only one who
could handle it, when in realityI wasn't.
In reality there were plenty ofother people who could have
resolved the situation.
So really like another one islike just like get a little over
(30:51):
yourself, you know, just likeunderstand that you are not the
only holder of this knowledge,and if you are, then there may
be a problem.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I think that's how we end up getting burnt out, and I
think a little bit of it is one, yes, getting over yourself,
and another part going back tothe socialization that you
mentioned again, because I thinkit's across the board where we
think we are the only personresponsible or capable of
solving something.
And it happens in the home, too,where it's like oh, we're the
(31:23):
only ones that can do thelaundry, because it has to do a
certain way, we're the only onesthat can do the dishes or cook
or take care of the kids or docertain things.
And it's like, no, you're notthe only one.
Well, granted, if you live byyourself, but usually this is in
situations where there areother adults available and
capable of helping.
(31:43):
And it goes back to like, oh,they can't do it, like I do it,
so I'm going to do it Right.
And it's the same thing at work, like, oh, they're always
asking me questions and withsome of my clients, I empower
them to empower their staff.
And it's like well, if you keepsolving their problems and not
(32:04):
teaching them how to solve it,they're going to continue coming
back to you because it's somuch more easier just to ask you
and then you're going to handleit, or and you continue to step
in Right.
So how do you get morecomfortable with that?
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Well, delegating is a skill and, again, like,
delegating is part of being agood manager.
And even if you are anindividual contributor, one of
the phrases that I it'sbasically like, how do you
professionally say like not myjob, you know?
Oh, I want to know, right, it'sjust so, yeah, again, one of the
(32:42):
phrases that I always tell myclients to use you know, like,
if their specific manager isjust like dumping more on their
plate is to be able to say I amhappy to take this on.
What would you like me todeprioritize?
So you're like articulating hey, I can do it, but I'm going to
have to deprioritize somethingelse, and that kind of puts them
(33:04):
in the perspective of like, oh,okay.
And if they're it's like, well,it all needs to be done.
I'm like okay, well, this isthe support that I need in order
to make it happen.
And being able to articulatethat.
And it takes practice.
It takes so much practice.
It may take you feeling likereally uncomfortable at first.
And that's if you're, you know,for example, an individual
(33:25):
contributor role, if you are ina, if you are a manager and you
actually do have members of yourteam that you manage.
It's like understanding thatbeing a good manager is
delegating.
Being a good manager is lettingpeople learn for themselves and
providing that scaffolding.
And while it may be easier onthe short term to just say like
(33:47):
oh, let me do it for you, it'sactually not.
I remember in one of mypositions.
I was managing a program and Ihad to manage the managers,
basically, and so I was checkingin with one of the managers and
he told me he's like, well, ittakes me three hours to teach
him to do something that couldtake me an hour to do, but
(34:11):
eventually I'm going to be ableto fully hand this off.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
And you'll get your hour back.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Right, exactly.
And so I really thought that Iwas like okay, finally one of my
managers understands thepurpose of this program, you
know, because it's literally ajob training and development
program.
Like you sign up to train thisperson.
So, again, just likeunderstanding that.
And if, like being honest withyourself, like if you actually
(34:37):
don't have time to do that, thenand you manage someone on your
team, then you need to likeadvocate, it's like no, we
actually need someone with moreexpertise, we need someone to
come in at the manager level andnot at the junior level to take
on these responsibilities.
But again, it takes practice andI would just say, like, start
(34:57):
small, like it's like okay, youknow again this phrase of um,
how do you you know I am happyto take this on what would you
like me to deprioritize?
And because people love to dumpwork on your plate that is not
yours, you know, you can say, oh, thank you for bringing this up
.
I will flag to my manager incase this is something that she
(35:18):
wants me to work on or that theywant me to work on.
Or oh, thank you, that's out ofthe, that's outside of the
current scope of my role, um,you know.
So something like that.
Or like oh, that's not, like Idon't have bandwidth to take on
a new project that is outside ofthe.
You know the scope of my role,um, so again, it's similar
(35:38):
phrases.
You can, you know like it's,it's something like that.
But to be able to actually sayno, and again, not, not.
It may not even be no, like aflat out no, it can be like yes,
but what am I not gonna do?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
or just know yeah or not, my job to like all these
people that want to dump work onyou yeah, okay.
So what happens because I have alot of clients who also work in
family businesses what happenswhen there is just so much at
stake?
Because it's what your familyhas created, it is part of your
(36:15):
survival, it is how they've beenable to support you.
You're also in, like, withinthat job, you're in a high
career as well, and the dynamicschange because now it's not
just boss or corporate executiveand you, it's like family
member and you, and they're alsoyour boss, like how does the
(36:39):
dynamics change a little bit?
How do the boundaries maybe getblurred?
How do you still make time formeeting your own needs when
you're in a family workenvironment?
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yes.
So I think this is a greatquestion because, um, you know,
we know that immigrants aredriving force behind the economy
, you know, and startingbusinesses.
I mean, I worked for my dad allthrough grad school and let me
tell you, I love my father andhe's not like the best boss
Doesn't have clear communicationskills, does not?
(37:15):
It was?
It took me years after Istopped working from him that
like if I would get a call fromhim in the middle of the day, I
would get like like I would getso nervous because I was like,
oh my God, did I forget to sendan invoice?
Did I forget to go pick up acheck?
Did I like I thought it was myboss calling, not my dad calling
(37:37):
?
You know, and so like Iunderstand that dynamic and it
blurs.
And especially, you know I liveat home with my dad, so you
know.
And so like I understand thatdynamic and it blurs.
And especially, you know Ilived at home with my dad, so
you know like I'd be home andhe's like, hey, go do this.
And I was like, okay, so, or Imean, eventually he got better
at it.
He was like, when you get tothe office tomorrow, you know,
do x, y or z, and so Iunderstand that.
(37:58):
You know, and I also, I also, I, I.
So again, that's just onedynamic Um, but I've supported
my mom with her business andit's.
It is a lot of things, but atthe end of the day, you still
are a person, like a human, whoneeds to prioritize their
humanity, and that is happeningat the workplace.
(38:19):
So, even if you need to say like, hey, I haven't moved from this
desk in three hours, I need totake a minute to step outside.
Or like, hey, I'm going to takemy lunch away from this desk, or
like, yes, there's so much todo, I will call them back, and
(38:39):
again, you just have to startsmall, it, it, it.
You just have to start small.
It's the same thing.
You just have to start small,like I, you know, like I'm going
to work eight to eight to 12and I will just take a 20 minute
break.
I'm going to have, I'm notgoing to take the office phone,
I'm not going to answer emailsfor those 20 minutes while I eat
my lunch, and peace.
And and what's interesting,even as I'm saying this, I
(39:02):
remember so I have three sisters.
When we were kids, my mom wouldsay not to interrupt her, when
there was like three times whenwe couldn't call her to like,
you know, poner quejas, to likecomplain or tattle, or whatnot,
and it was when she was sleeping, when she was eating and when
she was in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yes, mom, oh my gosh, I need to take notes from your
mom.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Yes, and I, you know, and the thing is like I mean,
when I was mine and I was likefighting with my sisters and had
lots of things to say, I didn'tcare that she was eating and I
wanted her attention, but thatwas the rule, you know, like we
have to wait until she was doneeating, or like we couldn't wake
her up to complain, you know.
Or or her use the bathroom inpeace, and I think that's one of
(39:49):
the things that really taughtme those boundaries early on.
And so, like at work, and I'mlike, listen, I will show up at
work, but just let me eat inpeace and let me use the
bathroom in peace.
And so I mean shouldn't be Idon't know about should or
shouldn't be sleeping at work.
That's a whole other thing, youknow.
(40:12):
But again, like even justthinking about, like those
boundaries from my mom that Ilearned as a kid not that I love
them as a child, but I reallydo admire them as an adult, that
I love them as a child, but Ireally do admire them as an
adult, and especially in familyowned businesses, like, yes,
everything is, everything is soimportant.
Right, and so am I.
Like I and you know it's likeyou, can I mean?
(40:34):
I don't know if this is toodramatic for some people, but
I'm like if I faint, we're goingto have a bigger problem.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
So it is true, though Like if you're out sick for two
weeks.
That's a bigger problem.
If you have to go to agazillion doctor's appointments
to figure out what's happening.
That's a bigger problem.
Like everybody can afford 20,30 minutes for you to get some
fresh air and eat a lunch orstep out for a second.
(41:02):
I always think of the peoplewho smoke and they're always
outside and it's like theythey're just there multiple
times a day, just, and I'm like,could you, you could just step
outside and breathe some freshair.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Exactly, yes, I agree .
So again, just, it startsinternally.
You need to be able to likestand up for yourself, and and
not it, it I would.
I mean if somebody can say like, hey, I'm going to be like you
know, take two weeks of vacation, Nobody bothered me, after
never setting up any boundaries.
Sure, More power to them, butmost of us are going to need to
(41:36):
take it step by step.
You know, most of us are goingto have to like start small,
even something as like I'm goingto be you know, like I'm going
to step outside for five minutesbecause I haven't moved from
this desk in you know four hours.
Or hey, I'm going to like eatmy lunch in peace, I'm not going
to be answering any emails, andit again, it requires a lot of
(41:59):
the times, a physical change,Like if you're telling people
I'm going to eat my lunch inpeace and then you stay at your
desk, that's going to make itvery, very difficult for them to
honor that boundary.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
So, literally, get up and for yourself.
I think for yourself too,because you're going to be so
tempted with your computer rightthere and be like, oh, let me
just check, let me just you knowyes.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
You know, one of the things that I, that I I talked
about it in the beginning, itwas like my after work routine.
I actually help a lot of myclients with an after work
routine because a boundary isjust a space.
It can be like it's justdistance from yourself and a
situation that you don't want torepeat or that you want to
prevent, and so in many casesthat boundary can say like hey,
(42:45):
don't talk to me while I'm atlunch.
But even if you can't say thatagain, just like moving.
And James Clear when he talksabout atomic habits and he talks
about like the cues.
So let's say like you have analarm on your phone and that's
your cue to get up and movePeople will eventually learn.
People will eventually learn toleave you alone or that you
(43:06):
will get.
You know that you will get backto them.
You know, and it may take againrepetition and it's like hey,
I'm actually really enjoying mylunch break, I will be back in
you know X number of minutes andI'll take care of it then.
And then if they ask you canyou?
He's like nope, you can justrepeat it, I'm in my lunch break
, I will take care of it.
When I had a manager that wassort of not honoring my boundary
(43:30):
.
We were talking about salaryand it was a hot mess.
I remember in that conversationI had to tell him three times
it was like I haven't had timeto read the email yet, so I need
time to digest the informationbefore I can discuss it.
And then he pushed it and Isaid I need time to digest the
information before I can discussit.
And then blah, blah, blah, andthen I literally said it a third
(43:51):
time and I'm like, if you'regoing to be a jerk, I'm going to
make you see how much of a jerkyou're being by having to
repeat myself three times.
And again, he may not havenoticed that that's what he was
doing, but that doesn't meanthat I have to move an inch to
honor somebody's lack ofself-awareness.
And again something in thissituation, like even not having
(44:14):
time to, you know, to like nothaving time to like take a lunch
.
It's like okay, I will just letpeople know, I will do that.
One of the things that I had todo when I worked for my dad is
I had to go deposit the checks,and those have to be deposited
before 9 PM, which is nineo'clock, and I wasn't working
until nine o'clock at night, butsometimes he would get late and
(44:37):
give them to me at like 830.
So that was something that wasdefinitely time bound, but it
was something that's like hey,dad, I'm not going to be home,
like I have an event, I have aclass tonight or something.
If you need me to depositchecks, you need to do them by X
number of time.
So, again, just like,communicating your needs
proactively also can help starta pattern of having other people
(45:02):
respect your boundaries, butyou need to decide what they are
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Absolutely and continuing.
You need to honor the boundaryfor you first before you have
other people honor them.
One last question that I thinkis super important and it's
benefits and how, your actualbenefits package.
That is something also that'ssuper confusing to me.
(45:27):
I was like what is all thispaperwork, what is FSH, what is
HSA, what is blah blah blah, pt,ppo, and nowadays I know that
there are so many perks inside abenefits package that you
should be taking an advantage ofand can really impact your
wellness.
(45:47):
Can you speak a little bit onhow benefits is also part?
It's not just like the physicalmoney piece, but this can
really be a big, I guess, toolor vehicle to your wellness and
your overall career.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Yes, absolutely.
I have an episode that I wouldlove to share with your audience
.
Oh, yes, yes, let me see.
It's one of my most recentepisodes before I went on break.
So 13, more than salary,episode 131, 13, que estoy?
13, episode 131, more than justsalary.
(46:26):
How to evaluate a job offer.
And I talk about what?
Well, what do you mean?
Isn't that just like yoursalary?
But it's not.
It's so much more.
And so you mentioned FSA, hsa,FSA.
The first thing that I want tosay is that if you're working at
(47:05):
a workplace that offers thesebenefits, there's usually a
benefits administrator that youcan contact and ask questions.
They're literally there toanswer your questions.
It is quite literally their jobto answer your questions.
If you didn't have questions,they wouldn't have a job.
So ask them all your questions.
That's the first thing.
Like, always advocate foryourself in getting the
(47:27):
information that you need andalso double check it, because
sometimes they may have again,just you know, trust but verify,
type of thing.
So that's the first thing thatI want to say.
The second thing is healthbenefits that can be tied to
your job.
Check if your job has, like, adiscount for gym memberships.
I think my job has a gymmembership that is like
(47:50):
different tiers and that you canaccess like basically any gym
in the area for like $30 a month.
And then you can access likeslightly fancier gyms for like
$50 a month and that's waycheaper than you know, like any
individual gym membership.
There's also and I know thatthis is part of your story, but
you may have access to anutritionist or a dietician as
(48:13):
part of your job benefits.
A big one is fertility benefits.
A lot of larger employees arehaving fertility benefits.
One of my friends, her husband.
Her husband works for one ofthe largest companies in the
world, so this is probably oneof like the wildest benefits
(48:34):
that I've seen.
I'm like that benefit isliterally more than what people
make in a year, but it is$50,000 of reimbursement for
fertility such as egg treatment.
Now that's absolutely wild.
Most companies I've seen arelike in the 10K to 20K range,
but again, just to put anotherpoint of data out there.
(48:55):
And so there are many people Imean there are many companies
that offer not just fertilitybut family planning.
So, for example, if you areadopting or any other type of
family planning services, checkwith your benefits administrator
or the benefits page in youremployee intranet to see what
(49:15):
that is, because that is a bigone.
There's also sometimeseducation benefits.
So, whether that is uh likespecifically like it has to be
like a degree program, orsometimes it can be like a
wellness stipend, like if youtake a cooking class, can your
job reimburse you.
Sometimes, uh, you know,there's like smoking cessation
(49:38):
programs, where if you stopsmoking, the your job will
reimburse you, you know, or sothere's definitely lots of like
wellness benefits.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Some of my clients have used their stipends to do
coaching with me.
So, yeah, or HSAs, things likethat, you know Um, so definitely
take a look into that, becauseyou might be you might have
resources that you didn't knowabout.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yes.
One last one that I do want tosay is you might have employee
assistance programs, so ESP, andsometimes that is access to a
mental health provider within avery short notice, like outside
of you know, like your regularmental health benefits or
(50:24):
whatever.
It may or may not be included.
They may have this it's calledthis because I'm employee
assistance program EAP, so checkif they have that Um.
Other times they have um.
Within EAP they may have uhbenefit.
I mean, I'm sorry they may havecounselors that specialize in
disordered eating or justintrusive thoughts about food,
(50:48):
but there may be a similarbenefit related to access to a
food counselor, a nutrition plan, and so, again, just make sure
that you look into that because,remember, it benefits your
employer for you to be healthyand for you to show up and be
able to do your work.
So if they offer it, it'sbecause it benefits them, so
(51:09):
make sure that you use it.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
Yes, and don't avoid it just because it's complicated
Like I would do.
I in one of my last rounds incorporate, I went into the
office of one of the HR benefitspeople and I didn't know what
questions to ask which I thinkis fair and I just literally had
them explain to me everybenefit package that they
(51:35):
offered and what it meant.
And you can start there and itwas super helpful and it helped
me make a better decision for myfamily that I didn't know about
because I had not asked.
All right, Carla, one thingthat you wish everybody would
know, something that comes upwith almost every single client,
and you're like if they knewthis one thing, things would
(51:56):
change for them in their career.
Do you have something like thatthat shows?
Speaker 2 (52:00):
up.
Yes, yes, actually, I was likeoh, so many things, and there
are a lot of things, but the onething that I want people to
realize, as a first genprofessional, as a Latina, as a
daughter of immigrants you areoperating at a higher level of
excellence than most peoplearound you.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
What God, I was expecting that.
Okay, yes.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
Yeah, and here's the thing your 50% is probably
better than Joe Schmoe's 100%.
So you are comparing yourselfand this adds to the stress,
this adds to the burnout.
You're comparing yourself tothe best version of yourself.
But remember, you're not paidfor your best day.
(52:45):
You're paid for your bareminimum day.
So when you're showing up atlike 50%, you're still operating
at a significantly higher levelof excellence.
I have this sticker and I'mreally sad because it was an
online store and it closed.
Sad because it was an onlinestore and it closed, but it says
(53:10):
I have a pretty big ass.
So when I half-ass something,you're still getting something
incredible.
I love it and I'm like this ismy entire workplace definition
Like as, again, as Latinas andas women of color and children
of immigrants, we are operatinglike we have such a high level
of operational excellence thateven if we bring it to 50%,
we're still kicking ass.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
You don't need to do the most.
We don't need to do most.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Yes, and so that's what I just want to leave you
with, like you're doing so muchbetter.
Speaker 1 (53:38):
I think you just gave so many people so much
permission.
Yes, thank you Seriously.
Oh my gosh, that was abrilliant ending and a brilliant
metaphor.
Thank you for that.
Thank you so much for sharingall your gems.
I think this was superimportant and like permission
(53:59):
driven and enlightening for somany of us to hear and we really
appreciate you and your time,carla.
Speaker 2 (54:06):
Thank you and thank you for having me.
I I love, I love being on thispodcast.
I love you, I love your showand I love your listeners, so
thank you all for for listeningstill.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
Yes, and we love you, we appreciate you as always.
If you need to get in touchwith Carla, all her information
is going to be in the show notes, but if you would like to let
everybody know how they can findyou, what you have to offer,
where they can maybe have someof your courses or your
workshops so they can learn more, yes, of course.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
So first, you can find the First Gen Coach podcast
wherever you're listening tothis podcast.
You can follow me on Instagram.
I'm mostly active on stories Irealize that's where I'm always,
you know, telling stories.
I clearly love to talk, but youcan work with me a few
different ways.
You can work with me insideone-on-one coaching.
You can also get your job oryour favorite nonprofit
(55:00):
organization to hire me for aworkshop.
Okay, so you can ask your jobor like if you have an ERG, or
even like any professionaldevelopment funds and you want
to work inside of a minicoaching package, for example,
for two weeks, so we can do thatone-on-one.
Or you can get your job to payfor me to come speak to your
group.
And then, lastly, one thingthat I really would love
(55:23):
everybody to sign up for is myLinkedIn mini course.
That has been so life-changing.
It's something that I launcheda few months ago and people have
already told me like they'vegotten job offers.
I got a message on Instagramthe other day.
It said Carla, all because Ifollowed your strategies and
(55:43):
she's showed me like a pictureof the job offer.
And she said job interviewyesterday, job interview today.
And I was like yes.
So you can find that all at thelink in my bio, and I really
would love more people toleverage LinkedIn, because this
is where these high paying jobswith benefits are.
(56:04):
They're on LinkedIn.
So come learn how to leverageLinkedIn through my course.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
Yes, linkedin queen over here, please go and get all
those goodies.
Again, the information is goingto be in the show notes so that
you don't have to tinker around.
You can connect directly toCarla.
Thank you so much, carla.
It was beautiful talking to youand thank you everybody for
listening.
We will see y'all next week.
Bye.
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