Episode 1 | Trump, Vapes, Unknown Babies, and Aftercare

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They say your first podcast episode will be bad, so I decided, why not make it horrendous?

In this episode:

• Trump Supporters in Australia
• Vape Technology
• Mum uses dead son's sperm to have a baby
• Conclusions are Aftercare for essays

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Episode Transcript

Harry (00:00):
I have started a podcast.
I've joined the bandwagonand...
I'm sorry.

Narrator (00:07):
Your're listening to Let's Cancel Harry.
It is right.
I have decided to start apodcast.
So after all these years ofmaking podcasts for school and
doing weird stuff on radio, Ihave decided to start my own

(00:27):
podcast and give myself a voice,which honestly...
Don't offer us the smartestidea.
And that's why I've given itthe name.
You've seen the name.
It's Let's Cancel Harry.
I decided that at the rate I'mgoing, I'm probably going to get
cancelled myself.
So I might as well take awaythe fun from you guys and cancel
myself.
Because...
Some of the stuff I say orthink, I just can't say in

(00:49):
public, but I'm going to anyway.
So this is going to be a placewhere I can talk about weird
news stories or things that arehappening or I'm going to have
people on that know me a littlebit too well.
It's going to be a little bitscary when some of those guys
come on and just some of theweird thoughts that I have.
Like, think of it like adrunken pub chat.
This is a drunken pub chat, butI'm going to be sitting
speaking at you and it's yourchoice to listen or not.

(01:11):
I mean...
That's just what happens at thepub anyway.
To start episode one offstrong, I thought that there's
only one thing to do.
Let's talk politics.
Let's get political, political. I wanna get political. Let's get political.
I did not shit my pants at anEngadine Mecca's in 1997.

Harry (01:33):
Yes, politics in episode one.
I decided to get it over anddone with.
Well, not done.
Let's get it started with, Ishould say.
So the other day I was drivingand I saw a car with Trump
stickers on it.
In SA.
I'm in Adelaide, Australia.
And there was a car covered.
The whole back of the car.
It was Trump to make SA greatagain.
Trump in SA.
Let's do it.
Trump.

(01:54):
MAGA.
And all this stuff.
And it was like...
It gave me the visceralreaction I see when I see Baby
on Board stickers.
You know when you see thesticker, like, be careful, Baby
on Board.
Like, little one on board.
For some reason...
And I think it's normal.
Well, I hope it's normal.
Probably not normal.
I get the sudden urge to justfloor it.
And I don't, I haven't yet, butI always just want to drive

(02:17):
into the back of the car and seewhat's going to happen because
it's almost like a target.
As soon as someone has that onthe back of their car, it's like
a target.
And for me, seeing the Trumpstickers was the very same
thing.
I had the sudden urge to put myfoot down on the accelerator
and just go at it.
And if you're in the car rightnow and you see someone with
Trump stickers on the back oftheir car, Please do it.
Please.

(02:37):
I didn't tell you to do it.
But if you're going to do it, Igave you the inspiration.
And to me, Trump supporters inAustralia are like Clive Palmer
supporters in America.
No one is over there saying,yes, Clive Palmer.
Yes, go at him.
It's the same thing.
If Trump wasn't as big as he istoday and causing as much

(03:00):
stir...
controversy, whatever you wantto say, telling people to inject
bleach because apparentlythat's going to cure COVID.
Don't do that.
It doesn't work.
But that same thing is like aClive Palmer or a Peter Dutton
supporter in America.
It's just not really making animpact.
Yes, what he does slightlyaffects us, and I see why
someone might dislike him, butseeing why someone might like

(03:23):
him when he's over in Australiadoesn't make sense to me.
And Something else that doesn'tmake sense to me is opening up
a Trump themed coffee shop.
And someone over in Brisbanehas done that.
They opened it up during his2016 term.
So what, four years ago now.
And when he bought the coffeeshop and started it up, he had a
loss of customers.
So the customer, the coffeeshop was already established,

(03:44):
sorry.
And he made it, he bought it,he switched it to Trump theme
and they lost 85% of theircustomers immediately.
I mean, what can you expect?
When you do something likethat, it's probably going to
happen where people Some sort ofdrastic change to your
clientele, at least.
He's part of a friendshipgroup, not a friendship group,
Facebook group.
And apparently there's about700 of them of Trump supporters

(04:07):
in Australia.
And they have meetups there athis coffee shop.
And he's opened up and he saidthat he is losing money.
He's openly proud of it, thathe's losing money over his
coffee shop.
I think my cat's a Trumpsupporter.
He's decided to join us today.
So he'll sit here and probablymeow at me a lot.
But yeah, so he's opened upthis coffee shop and he's losing
money and he's proud of it.

(04:28):
And it's just, I don'tunderstand it.
And now something else ishappening at the moment with
Trump.
It's as of filming the podcast,it's kind of new news.
The Home Alone 2 director, theguy that directed the movie, if
you haven't seen Home Alone 2,there's a cameo with Trump in
it.
I think he's in saying one ofthe Trump hotels or something
like that.
And Kevin, the little boy thatgets lost, Trump for directions

(04:49):
and Trump gives him directions.
And now the director wants tocut it.
He wants to cut that coming upfrom the movie.
Rightfully so.
It's his movie.
He can do what he wants, buthe's scared that he'll get
deported.
Now, everyone can have theirown beliefs and everyone can do
what they want and believe whothey want politically.
This isn't a political podcast.
I know the colors on my logokind of seem like it.
I was saying that afterwardsand a bit concerned, but I like

(05:11):
the logos.
We're going to keep it.
And everyone's glad to havetheir own beliefs and own
political thoughts.
But at the moment, the tariffwar, This is a Trump segment
after all, so let's getpolitical.
The tariff war that is going onat the moment is absolutely
hilarious.
What, a 250% tariff on China?
I mean, Trump, howeverintelligent he may be or may not

(05:33):
be, does he realize that prettymuch everything is made in
China?
Everything, your phone, whatyou're watching or listening to
this right now, probably made inChina.
And I did the research myself.
And I worked out why this washappening because Trump's upping
them and then China's uppingthem.
Trump's upping them and China'supping them.
It's because Xi Jinping is aGemini and Trump is also a

(05:55):
Gemini.
That's why.
This isn't going to stop.
It's two Geminis after eachother.
I'm not into the big tarotcards and stuff like that and
star signs, but this makessense.
Maybe I should start believinga little bit more because
they're both Geminis and thisisn't getting any better.
Now, something else that ismade in China, apart from

(06:16):
smartphones and literallyeverything, are disposable
vapes.
Now, this is going to lead meto our next segment.
I want to talk about thetechnology that is currently
happening in vapes.
There is a technological boom.
It's the industrial revolutionof vapes.
Little robot cocks, what I liketo call them.
Have you seen those phonevapes?
It is a full-blown smartphoneinside a vape.

(06:39):
I just want to like...
Sorry, I can't talk right now.
And it's crazy to me because ittook us over 25 years to get
from like the first mobile phoneto the first smartphone.
Those big chunky phones to alittle iPhone.
And it's taken us, what, threeyears to go from a regular vape

(07:00):
to a smartphone vape.
And I've seen one of these inperson.
And it had like a littleanimation on the front.
The bloke loved it.
It had a little flaming skullon the front of the vape, which
is honestly kind of cool.
But still...
Why?
Why?
And that's leading to me to thenext thing.
The Tamagotchi vapes.
You've probably heard of that.
If you haven't, you know whatTamagotchi is.

(07:20):
Those little Japanese gamesthat used to be at a cavern,
like a key ring.
And you had to feed it and youhad to give it water and you had
to let it survive.
And some students over, I thinkin the US, they created a
Tamagotchi vape.
But every time you hit thevape, that was the food or that
was the water.
And hitting the vape led it tosurvive.
And if you didn't hit yourvape, The Tamagotchi died.

(07:42):
Which is honestly...
It's sad as...
You want your little robot petto stay alive...
You have to hit your vape.
And originally...
I did a little bit more digginginto this and...
It turns out that originally...
It wasn't just...
To kill it.
Like if you didn't hit yourvape...
It was going to die.
It was originally that if youhit your vape...
The Tamagotchi would die.
Which...
honestly wouldn't have had thesame cultural impact because the

(08:06):
thought that you're going tokill this innocent little
electronic creature if you'renot hitting your vape, it's
going to make you hit it moreand more and more.
And I think these guyssingle-handedly, if Big Tobacco
were making vapes, they would bethe number one marketers for
them.
I did a little bit of moreresearch and I was looking into
more vapes and I found one morethat was questionable,
interesting.

(08:26):
It was a Minion, a Minion vape,shaped like Kevin the Minion.
I mean, if you're listening...
Sorry.
If you're watching, I'm goingto insert a photo right there.
Yes, I don't know why you wouldwant to be sucking on a
minion's head, but some peopledo.
A lot of what this has been sofar is just me rambling.
Because it's what I do, andit's what I do best.

(08:47):
I ramble.
I'm a rambler.
And something else that I wantto ramble about is a mum who
used her dead son's sperm tohave a baby...
With a surrogate mother, but itdoesn't matter.
She used her son, who hadpassed away three years
previously, to have a baby.
And she's not telling the kidwhere she came from.

(09:07):
Now, the son had a prettyhorrific death, to say the
least.
It was cancer.
It was a pretty aggressive formof cancer, which is very sad.
And his last wish was to have akid.
But I don't think the mumrealised that when he wanted to
have a kid, it wasn't like, Iwant to have a kid and not know
them.
It was like, I want to have akid.
I want to be a dad.
I want to raise the kid.
Not yet.

(09:27):
Wait three years and thenunfreeze my cum and give me a
baby.
Now, I don't know if excrementhas a expiry date on it, but it
just sounds kind of grim.
Unfreezing it.
putting in a surrogate motherand asking her to have the baby
for you and now the kid's like ithink three now and the grandma

(09:48):
says that she'll tell hereventually the little girl
eventually where her dad is andwhat happened but i don't know
and it got me thinking about theethics of using dead people's
spunk to have a baby withbecause it's happened multiple
times and now there's this thingcalled posthumous sperm
retrieval which soundsinteresting to say the least but

(10:10):
it's When someone passes away,you can still collect their
sperm.
Sounds weird to me.
It sounds like something theywould do at a zoo.
You know how when horses usedto break their legs, they'd just
shoot them, like after a race?
It sounds like a similar thingthat they would do to them.
Like if the horse dies, you...
Because why?
Why?
Who's giving consent to that?

(10:31):
I, for one, wouldn't.
Mum and dad, if you'relistening, please don't be.
I don't want you listening tothis.
But mum and dad, if you'relistening, don't do that.
please.
And something else that I foundreally interesting is the
partner of the person can havethat happen.
It can, they can choose to dothat or not.

(10:52):
And the whole idea of having ababy after you're dead is scary
enough as it is.
It happens, but having a babythat you didn't even know about
after you're dead, that's, um,Pretty scary.
Now, I've been talking so muchabout sperm that even Bonnie
Blue would have had enough bynow.
I mean, talking about BonnieBlue, I've got a bone to pick

(11:15):
with essays.
You write school, you'rewriting an essay or a paper or
whatever you're doing.
What's the go with conclusions?
Conclusions, to me, are likeaftercare for an essay.
I'm sorry that you can't readit all or you can't sum it up.
It's the same thing.
I'm sorry, but you're a bunchof words.
No aftercare for you.

(11:36):
I don't know if that's a fairrepresentation to make.
I don't know if anything I'vesaid today has been a fair
representation.
But I wanted to come here.
I wanted to ramble a littlebit.
I think I've done that,honestly, quite well.
I don't know how long thispodcast is going to be.
I think it's going to be prettyshort.
What's this?
15 minutes?
It's going to be probably apretty short podcast.
But it's episode one.

(11:57):
They always say that episodeone is the worst podcast.
And I know this is going to bean absolute train wreck, to say
the least.
And I've recorded this...
I think three times now, allthe way through, and I've said
the same points three times allthe way through, and I think
it's getting worse, so I'm goingto leave it here today, you
guys, I'm sorry, you're notgetting any aftercare today, but

(12:18):
we're going to leave it here,see what I think, I'm going to
edit it, maybe publish it, whoknows, if this goes up, I'm
sorry, I want to see, I want toapologize to you guys, because
Let's Cancel Harry.