February 25, 2025 • 27 mins
The jet lag got us y'all :( that means you get a whole episode of us basically melting and complaining your ears off lmao please enjoy!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
jet lag.
She's a bitch.
We just tried to film anepisode, let it be known and
everything deleted.
Software completely just shutdown and we lost the entire
episode.
So you will get your given.
Okay.
This is my, uh, I'm, I'mrevolting.
(00:20):
Revolting against what?
And revolting against who?
Against big internet andtechnology and software, because
I don't like that.
What just happened.
We got back from Thailand twodays ago, and I feel violently
ill from jet lag.
I've, I have felt this jet lagbefore, but it's been a while,
so I've forgotten how bad it canbe.
And this is my first time goingover like to Asia and back from
(00:43):
Asia.
And that's a, it's a wholenother ball game than going to
Europe, I think, going the otherway.
Yeah.
The National Dateline is like aportal into a different
dimension.
We left Thailand at 2:00 AM No,2:00 AM 2:00 AM yeah.
On Sunday.
And then we got back in SanFrancisco at 6:00 AM on Sunday.
The same Sunday.
So we've been living in aperpetual Sunday, or we had been
(01:06):
living in a perpetual Sundayfor, it still feels like it, 48
hours.
Which is crazy.
I have a headache.
Let me, Let me, I have aheadache.
Let me list your ailments.
Let me talk about my ailments.
I have a headache.
I have a headache.
I haven't been able to sleeppast 5:00 AM This is what people
love to listen to.
People love to turn on theirfavorite podcast and listen to
people complain.
Today's podcast is aboutcomplaining.
(01:28):
Let's dig into complaining.
Let's complain.
Let's complain.
Oh my God.
Let's complain.
Oh, everything.
Oh my God.
Let's complain about everything.
Okay, so I haven't been able tosleep past 5:00 AM for the last
two days.
I haven't been able to not, Ihaven't been able to stay awake.
Past 9:00 PM Even though Inormally go to bed at 9:00 PM
but I'm so tired all day becauseright now Bangkok time.
It is what, like middle of like4:00 AM?
(01:49):
Yeah.
It's the nighttime.
That's crazy.
I should be asleep right now.
But my body's like, what thefuck are you doing?
Haven't pooped properly.
You've not pooped.
No, because my digestive systemsaid it's not time to poo.
Drink this.
Mind garden.
Calm and clarity with adaptogensand new tropics drink grapefruit
and bergamot.
That is a mouthful.
It is helping a little bit.
It kind of is Let's scan thebody.
(02:10):
We're going down.
We have a headache.
I worked out for the first timeand like really f what feels
like two weeks yesterday.
So my titties are sore.
You went to the gym every day inThailand But I didn't work.
'cause the hotel gyms, they onlygo up to 20 pounds.
In the weights.
And I'm a big boy, 24 kilos.
Okay?
He is all 50 pounds.
Yeah, that's, I'm bigger thanthat.
(02:30):
I do like 70.
What for a chest pu.
So now my titties are sore.
Oh my God.
What else do I complain about?
I did abs too and that wasreally sore.
Go on, go down your fuckingbody.
Tell me everything you about.
Now my legs are, now my legs aresore'cause I worked up my legs
today.
And then my niece, do you seewhat I have to live with?
Do you see what I have to livewith?
And he says I complain all thetime.
(02:51):
All he does is you do bitch andmoan.
We both do about like his sorefucking knees.
He turned 30.
You were just complaining aboutyour knees.
Yeah, I know, but I do it in afun, cute way.
You're annoying.
I do it in a fun, cute way.
You are annoying.
Come on now you make my earsbleed.
Come on.
My ears are bleeding too.
From the jet lag.
My ears are bleeding as well,and I have the pain in my eye.
(03:12):
I'm gonna rip my eyeball out.
I'll help.
I'll do the other.
You do one of mine.
I'll do one of yours.
Oh my God.
Love mutual eyeball ripping.
Oh, and then my knees hurt.
And my feet.
Oh, my feet, my feet.
Ugh.
Don't get me side on my feet, mytoes.
Oh my goodness.
Oh.
I just wanna stretch them out.
Not like we were on a brand tripin Thailand and I got three
(03:34):
different massages.
We got three different massages,and they rub your feet down
every single time.
And I'm like, this is the life.
All of a sudden we come back andI'm like I haven't had my weekly
massage yet.
we were watching season, we werewatching.
What were we watching?
What were we watching?
We were watching.
What were we watching, Matthew?
We were watching episode Two of,we were watching episode two of
season three of White Lotusyesterday, and they have the
(03:55):
scene in there where they'redoing the spa treatments, and it
reminds me of how great themassages are in Thailand and the
three that we got when we werethere.
I miss it so badly.
We really did not need threetreatments when we were there.
No, it kind of hurt by the thirdone.
Like I was kind of in pain and Iwas like begging them to stop.
Because the first one was thehigh massage or they beat you
up.
She beat me within an inch of mylife and I said.
(04:18):
Thank you Cap cop, because I'm aboy and you have to end with
cop.
Yeah, we got told off, didn'twe?
Well, It sounds nice.
Cap.
Yeah, I know, but like you're aboy okay.
Whoa.
Which I actually do preferlanguage wise.
I was talking about this theother day.
Whenever you have some languageslike Spanish, when you say the
(04:40):
table is a girl.
And the shelf is a boy that's sostupid for objects to have
gender and Thai.
It's based on who's speaking,whether you're a boy or girl,
which is the same in HindiIndian Du.
Yeah, I like that.
It's better.
Yeah, it makes sense.
And there's probably like athird gender in there somewhere.
I think there's like a neutralone.
Like a neutral, yeah, a neutralsaying.
Yeah.
(05:01):
And, but then in like Spanishand French and like romantic
languages, there's a neutralfor, why are they called
romantic?
They're not really.
But anyways, the Thai massages,there were two people on top of
me and they were elbowing me andhitting me and punching me and
kicking me.
Yeah.
The thing about those women isthey'll beat the shit out of
you.
I loved it.
Yeah.
More.
I need it more.
I need it.
(05:21):
And as we have discussed, I'm inpain, physical pain from
emotional too.
I have a pain, a pressure in theback of my right eye.
I have a pain in my righttemple.
Sympathy pains.
Yes.
Agony.
In fact, we are just in pain andI'm gonna complain because I'm
not in Thailand anymore.
Anymore.
Wapa.
I don't wanna be in thiscountry.
We really wanted to do a fullepisode where we talked about
(05:42):
like travel and like just likelife and places we've been
together and hashtag wonderlust,but everything deleted.
'cause we, maybe it's us.
Are we the problem right now?
I feel like things I, my, mybrain can't comprehend what's
happening right now.
What else should we complainabout?
Yesterday I had a napaccidentally at 6:00 PM and I
(06:05):
woke up at 7:00 PM and my a ringyelled at me.
It said, no, and then you yelledat me.
I did yell at you.
You yelled at me for not wakingyou up.
You said, why didn't you wake meup?
'cause I was fucking editing avideo.
Why was I gonna wake you up?
Why didn't you wake me up?
Because your a ring was supposedto wake you up and yell at you.
Or it doesn't do that, or itdoes not do that well, that's a
problem.
What did it say to you?
(06:25):
What did it yell at you about?
When I said that I had to not dothat?
Yeah, don't sleep.
Don't have a nap late.
And I told you that the daybefore, it's hard.
Okay.
When you turn on the heating andthe sun's gone down and you.
Curl up into the corner of thecouch and you're wearing cozy
socks and you've got a hoodieon, and you nestle into a little
(06:46):
burrow that you've created.
The sound or the white noise ofthe heat is the heater on, is
just just doing funky things toyour brain, and then all of a
sudden you slip intounconsciousness.
Yeah, these are the perfectclimate.
These are the perfect conditionsfor decomposition.
These are the perfect cldecomposition.
(07:07):
These are the perfect conditionsfor decomposition.
You mean rotting?
Exactly.
Ah.
Yes, when you just cr cr, but Ican't fucking speak fucking out.
I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
This is gonna be the mostannoying episode we've ever put
out.
I'm annoyed.
We've tried to film this, we'vetried to film this three times,
and the technology that we'reworking with, the apparently
(07:31):
advanced technology, lack ofthereof.
That we're trying to work with,for some reason isn't working.
It keeps deleting everything.
We fucking record.
So all of a sudden now, here weare on the fourth attempt of the
same sentence, and I want tofucking shoot my brains out.
What the fuck is going on?
Fuck you technology, fuck youfor being here and listening to
me ramble.
No, No.
(07:51):
Too far.
Too far.
Serious Fuck the planes for notgoing faster and stopping time
trap stopping.
Can international Dateline, Idon't wanna talk about the
international Dateline, but wecan the international Dateline.
It's, it was close to.
Teleportation.
I was gonna say transfiguration.
Time travel.
Time travel.
What did I say?
(08:11):
Teleportation andtransfiguration.
Fuck me.
Both of those things are wrong.
Both of those things are wrong.
Both of those things actuallydon't even exist, so none of
them do time travel.
Oh yeah.
That isn't either.
Fuck.
Oh my God, my three favoriteteas don't exist.
Oh, that's so sad.
(08:31):
I've just come to a realizationthat my entire life is a lie.
Well, It's never been true.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's a lie.
I'm complaining about the factthat I'm tired.
I'm complaining about the factthat, oh, yesterday.
Fucking hell.
Woke up.
Woke up.
The day that we got back, I waslike, we have to stay awake for
as long as humanly fuckingpossible.
We went to bed at 7:30 PM Well,'cause we got in at 6:00 AM
(08:55):
Yeah.
After an 11 hour flight.
That was the same day as theother flight.
Crazy.
It was a 24 hour travel day thatwas crazy.
It was a 24 hour travel day.
So we got in at 6:00 AM and wewent to bed at 7:00 PM We do you
know how hard it was to stayawake that day?
So hard.
As hard as day.
Actually, we were like, as soonas like one of us would start
drifting off on the couch, theother one would pull the other
person's leg because we're like,no, you can't.
(09:16):
I think the only way you have tokeep stay.
You have to stay awake.
Like you said.
Remember, I think Dumbledoredrinking that fucking water and
he is like, you have to keepdrinking, sir.
Like why am I Dobby?
Like you said, remember youwould be Dobby.
You would be doby.
Hello?
In the lore of Harry Potter,you'd be Doby.
Who?
Who would you be?
I don't know.
I dress a little bit better thanDoy, I think.
No, you don't.
(09:37):
Hey, you're literally wearing asack right now.
Look at you.
Yeah.
I'm wearing a sack too.
We are both Dobby.
You're the um, you're um,creature.
Creature.
I'm so d Dobby.
Iss such a golden retriever andcreature's such a black cat.
That's so true.
You are such creature energy andI'm such dobby creature's, such
a cunt creature.
(09:57):
What, say Dolly's like Dobby.
Dobby.
I don't know what he says.
Creature's not happy right now.
Oh, creature's like mad thatthere was a mud blood in the
house.
Oh yeah.
Not the race.
Race What else do I want tocomplain about?
The weather is nice though.
I wish it wasn't.
sometimes when you feel likeshit and you want the weather to
be shit too.
To reflect your mood.
(10:17):
Yeah.
It's too sunny right now.
That's what you want.
Like why is that fucking treehd?
That tree that I'll always lookat and always talk about.
You love that tree?
I don't love that tree.
The tree loves me.
Ugh.
I don't know.
It's like very like alluring.
Maybe it's the ashwagandha, thisdrink Is there ashwagandha in
this drink?
Yeah.
What the fuck does it do?
stress reduction.
No.
I'm pretty stressed actually.
(10:38):
Albeit, I have not drank theentire Can you have not drank
any of it?
I've been complaining.
We will stop complaining for onesecond.
Talk about how amazing our tripto Thailand was.
S car.
I love Thailand.
It was your first time there.
It was my first time in Asia.
You got a tattoo?
I got a tattoo.
It was my first time in Asia.
My first time having mangosticky rice.
My first, what else was my firsttime massage in Thailand.
(11:01):
I had a lot of firsts inThailand.
And I really loved it and Iwanna go back right now.
Yeah, it's one of those tripswhere I feel like I'm.
I'm so sad that we're not thereanymore.
I miss it because A people areso nice.
People are so nice.
People here in America suck.
Everyone's a cu They're so mean.
I'm mean too.
I'm not.
You're mean in America.
You were nicer in Thailand.
Oh my God, a hundred percent.
As soon as we were leavingThailand, I was like, oh, Gus,
(11:23):
go Gus.
What word was that?
Speaking is so hard.
Guess I'm.
Guess I'm gonna be a cunt.
As soon as I fucking bolt theflight, I was like, let me look.
Let me shed this like nice skinthat I've been wearing.
One thing that they do is whenyou're driving in Thailand, the
beeping is not meant to be an.
Angry, you know, in the US youlike beep and you're like, I'm
(11:43):
pissed off at you.
That's what that means.
Yeah.
I did it like three timesyesterday.
In Thailand it just means, hi,I'm here behind you and I don't
want you to hit me.
I don't wanna hit you.
So just Hi.
Yeah, it's good.
That's what it is.
It's not like I'm angry at you.
No.
It's oh, I'm just here.
It's so cute.
I love it.
Saw it being and then, and nowwe're watching fucking White
(12:05):
Lotus.
Aw.
Watching what once was for us.
Having that come out while we'rein Thailand.
Now I'm watching it and I'mlike, I understand, like I feel
like I'm just like connectingwith the show in a different
way.
Than people who like haven'tbeen to Thailand.
Wow.
I'm like those people that studyabroad.
Girls, you literally, oh, I wasjust gonna say, you sound like a
dickhead.
Those girls that go study abroadin Italy and they come back
(12:27):
after three months and they'relike, chow me more.
And Italy, they eat gelato andeveryth they want, and in here
you wouldn't get it'cause youhaven't been to Italy.
And that's what I'm doing.
That's what you doing right now.
I know.
And I kind of love it inThailand.
Everyone's so nice, but inAmerica, everyone's so mean.
You literally agreed with me,Thailand, the fact that I say
(12:49):
things and then you agree withme, you're saying the same exact
thing as me.
I jo, I even hold this mic up.
I'm so jet lagged.
I know.
It just keeps flopping around.
It's heavy.
I will say one thing.
I spent every waking minute oftwo weeks with you and I cannot
bear the look of your faceanymore or the sound of your
grading voice.
(13:10):
Oh my God, you are pissing meoff.
I have to record.
I have to sit here and I have toproduce this content with you.
I don't even wanna look at you.
I don't wanna hear the sound ofyour voice.
I wanna go lock myself in thebedroom downstairs and stare at
a blank wall.
What?
In complete and utter silence,but no.
(13:34):
Here I am.
I have to listen to you fuckingspeak for 30 minutes.
30 minutes, 30.
Fuck me.
Too bad I can't do it.
You have a job.
You've also all heard about howI left to quit jobs.
What if I just quit?
(13:54):
The thing about traveling withyour partner for two weeks is
that by the end of it, like Iwas getting an like over you.
No.
You can't say that.
Yeah, I can.
No, you can't.
Why?
Because I'm amazing.
I was getting over you.
What's said to get over me aboutI'm look so chill.
You literally don't shut up.
I'm so high maintenance.
I pretend to be so chill.
And I'm like, actually you arethe opposite of chill.
(14:16):
Same me too.
I think we're both equallyannoying.
Yeah.
As it turns out, listen, whenyou spend that long with your
partner on a vacation, you wantsome time apart.
But too bad we have a podcast.
Oh my God, no.
In the Airbnb.
So we stayed at hotels.
The first week we were on abrand trip in Thailand with tr
Can I speak with?
(14:37):
You just, You just shortcircuited literally.
Oh my God.
My brain like it went zap withthe travel tourism of our, of
Thailand, what are they called?
The tourism board in Thailand.
The fucking tourism authority inThailand.
The tourism authority.
That's what we were there withTory Authority of toilet.
Oh my God.
That's how hot.
Say the tourism.
The tourism authority ofThailand.
(14:59):
'cause you don't wanna saytoyland'cause you said the
tourism authority of Thailand.
This, it's really hard to say.
Oh.
Oh my God.
The tourism.
This is me.
This is me.
This is me breaking down.
This is my death.
This is me thi yo.
Oh, not really.
This is worse.
She died.
This is worse than death.
Fuck me.
(15:19):
Okay.
The tourism board of Ari, fuckme.
So the first week we were there,we were on, we went to Bangkok,
we were in, we went to pcat, andthen we went to Crabby.
And those places, we had a hotelthat they had organized for us.
Nice ones, fucking nice luxury,fucking nice fucking hotels.
(15:42):
One of them was like$2,000 anight.
I ain't paying that.
The crabby one?
Yeah.
Crabby, was it 2000 thousandnine?
I think it was like 2000.
That was like a, that it was afull suite.
We had a private pool.
It was like unbelievable.
Yeah, that was crazy.
And then right after that wewent to Komu by ourselves.
Mm-hmm.
Like we said goodbye to.
Luxury.
Luxury, the life.
And our, we had a handler.
Oh, we got driven aroundeverywhere.
It was great.
He was like helping us, likeaccess the world.
(16:04):
Yeah.
And then we said bye to him,went to Ko Mui and we were like,
let's do an Airbnb so we can doour laundry and have a little
bit more of a have more spaceand blah, blah, blah.
We got to this Airbnb.
I've never in my life, I studiedinterior design at university.
I've never in my life.
Including my own shity designsat Uni.
Seen such a poorly constructed.
(16:27):
Home.
Oh, so bad.
It was the, there was terriblelayout.
Lemme paint you a picture.
Describe it.
Lemme paint you a picture.
You walk into the propertythrough a door, which leads into
an open area that has a pool andthen.
At the back of the pool, there'sthe house, the main house.
You walk past the pool to themain house, they're sliding
doors to get into the livingspace.
(16:48):
Mm-hmm.
But they're sliding doors.
They don't lock unless you holdthem tight and turn the key
violently.
So that was challenging.
There is an upstairs.
But there are no stairs insidethe house, so when you're
walking around, you can see upin the living room and you can
see a mezzanine, like a Julietbalcony to the upstairs bedroom.
But there are no stairs ininside the house.
(17:11):
Underneath where the upstairsbedroom is.
There's another double slidingdoor.
That goes into, mm-hmm.
The Bedroom.
A different other bedroom.
Main bedroom.
Yeah.
And so that's past the livingroom into the bedroom.
And then.
in the bedroom, there are twodoors.
One for a washer dryer room andone for, there's a sliding glass
(17:32):
door with a bathtub in it, andit's just one little room, but
it's not a bathroom.
It's not a bathroom, it's justone little room.
It just has a bathtub, but itjust has a bathtub, like a
jacuzzi bathtub.
Literally.
It's also, there's no lights inthere.
There was no lights in there.
There were no lights in there.
No, it was like as if it was acloset.
It was door.
There was one other thing inthat room, but I can't remember
what it was.
I don't know.
No, it was like a, I think itwas like a step ladder or
something, maybe.
(17:52):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was something random, butit's like a sliding door as if
it was supposed to be a closet.
That would be a walk-in closet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it wasn't a walk-in closet.
It was a walk-in jacuzzibathtub.
It was weird.
It was a jacuzzi bathtub.
It was a jacuzzi bathtub, but itwas just in the middle of the
room.
In the closet?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't even know if it wasconnected to the water.
moving past that bedroom, behindthat bedroom, there was a bath,
the main bathroom.
It was literally a sauna inthere.
(18:13):
'cause there was no extractionat all, and I think it was like
semi connected to the outsidefrom that bathroom.
There was another door that ledoutside.
To the back of the house wherethere was a staircase going
upstairs to the bedroom that wesaw earlier.
You go up the stairs and thenthere's a bedroom and a bathroom
attached to that, and then youlook out over the Juliet balcony
(18:36):
to see the rest of the houseroom, but the only way to access
that bedroom is from theoutside.
Anyway, which is crazy work.
Needless to say, we had our ownbedrooms in this house because I
got ill I got ill for one dayand then I was like, I need to
like whee in cheese.
What was that?
I don't know, but I washorrible.
I think it started off withallergies.
(18:57):
Like I was definitely likeallergic to like the world, with
my hay fever.
Yeah.
That's such a pussy, littlebitch ailment to have, oh, I'm
allergic to the world.
Yeah.
That kind of sucks for you.
And then I like couldn'tbreathe.
And then I think the flying too,I was just like, I just feel
like a little bit like congestedand flying also just make me
like my, like sinuses.
(19:17):
Get really inflamed.
So I think that just bugged meSo we did have some time apart.
Which was nice.
Oh, we slept a, yeah.
The point of that was that weslept apart for the nights that
we were in the Airbnb.
It was just those three nights,which I kind of, it was lovely.
It was lovely.
It was lovely.
I enjoyed it.
Looking back to myself, do youknow what I was like, do you
know what this is Fucking, thisis.
Maybe we should have separatebedrooms, should we?
(19:38):
Maybe.
There's a point.
That's crazy.
People do that.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
And you can decorate your ownbedroom and your own design and
you can live in your ownbedroom.
That's crazy.
And have your own space.
Go to sleep.
Sleep when you want and wake upwhen you want to worry about.
No, I like that bedroomdownstairs.
I do too.
But I also I loved that.
Yeah, it was, it was kind offun.
I get why people do it.
You are annoying to sleep withsometimes.
You are too.
You sure how?
No, I don't snore.
You do?
(19:58):
No.
When did I snore?
When you're sick, you snore.
When I was sick, I snored.
And when I'm drunk sometimes Isnore.
Yeah.
Fucking hell.
And it's really loud.
Which isn't that often.
Yeah.
And I'm not that, I'm not thatweird either.
You weird.
Let's talk about it.
You fucking talk in your sleep.
When we first started dating,you would.
Yeah, I don't that anymore.
You would talk in your sleep.
No, I think you still do.
No, I don't.
No, you don't anymore.
No.
(20:19):
So you don't have I do like haverandom muscle spasms sometimes.
You such, yeah.
Yeah.
But everyone has those.
Yeah.
You have like weird ones.
Why?
You'll have like a full bodyspasm in your bed.
Yeah.
Cause a, because I'm fallingasleep.
Cause like a fucking earthquake.
A what do you call them?
On the Richter Scale?
Yeah.
The Richter Scale.
A 9.0.
On the Richter scale.
Yeah, Richter.
(20:39):
That's what I was trying tothink of.
who's Richter?
Who is Richter?
The guy invented the scale.
He invented the scale.
Richter, Mr.
Richter.
Richter.
Scale.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Imagine being called Richter.
would it be so weird if I justfell asleep during this podcast?
'cause I could.
I could literally just pass out.
You talk enough in your sleepanyway.
So it would be the same.
Any, it would be the same.
It'd be the same.
(21:00):
You used to f Remember the firsttime I like slept in your bed
and you were like talking and Iwas like, huh?
What?
What was I talking about?
I don't know.
Some random shit.
You're like, you'd be like, howmany ha Oh yeah.
I, it was, look similarish.
Ty, go.
Ty Goop.
(21:20):
Nobody snorty, snoop.
Exactly.
I think that's been enough ofdigging into nothing.
I'm still hungry.
I'm hungry.
Yeah, we didn't really provideenough in this episode, but
that's what you get today, thisweek.
Oh, hungry.
Yeah.
This was supposed to be, this isepisode.
I'm also hungry.
Generally.
This is a short episode becauseI'm fucking jet lagged, and we
were like, we have to dosomething.
(21:41):
I was like, we need to justcomplain for a while and then
next week you can get asubstantive episode.
but this week you get a jetepisode.
Sometimes in my mind I'm like.
I'm nervous that we're gonnahave run out of things to talk
about on our podcast, and then Isit down jet lagged, and I'm
like, let's just complain aboutwhat we're complaining about at
the moment.
You get what you get and you gotwhat you got.
(22:01):
I just feel like a zombie.
I just feel you sound like PACCap's character in White Lotus,
who I didn't know was a realperson.
We have a friend and she had adog, RIP Betsy.
She was like 50,000 years old,and our other friend.
(22:21):
Named her Parker Posey, likenicknamed her Parker Posey.
And Matt thought that was a,just a joke name that I thought
he just named her.
Parker Posey.
'cause that's a funny name thatdoesn't re, that doesn't seem
like a real human's name.
Parker Posey, who's named, whonames their child, first off,
who starts their lineage namedPosey.
Like their last name, Sy.
I didn't know anything aboutPosey.
(22:42):
And then the mother was like,and the father, I guess we were
just like, let's name her.
Parker Posey.
Parker Posey.
It's a foolish name.
Foolish.
It's a foolish name.
Foolish.
So I thought he was just, Ithink it suits her.
Why?
Yeah, it does for sure.
Now that I know she's a realperson, but I thought he was
just naming her Parker Poseybecause like, oh, look at Papo,
also suited, suited the ancientdog.
Betsy also suited both of her.
(23:04):
RIP, Betsy, I love you.
But Parker Posey, yeah, shedoes.
She is silly.
Is that her real accent?
No.
Oh, I don't think so.
Is that a character?
I think so.
Is she actually like that?
Yeah, because you know the actorthat plays Lucy Malfoy?
Yeah.
Her husband.
Yeah.
He's British.
I didn't know it was him.
And they're playing a specific,they were playing a specific
character.
The accent is from some, butfuck town in North Carolina.
(23:25):
Yeah.
I didn't know that was himeither, because I only know him
as vicious novel.
I wouldn't, how many people Ilike offend when I say things
like butt fuck down in NorthCarolina.
I'm here so it's fine.
Yeah.
Os I don't care.
You didn't know it was Lucy'sMalfoy.
I only know him as PlatinumBlonde Was he the guy that was
in the oa?
No one watched the oa.
I watched the oa.
I did too, but I didn't know.
(23:45):
The OA was amazing.
Yeah, but I didn't know he wasin Thata A was amazing.
He was the main villain guy,wasn't he?
I don't know.
He looks like the main villainguy.
At least he also reminds me ofsome like another American
actor.
He's British, so.
oh, he also, he reminds me ofsomeone like Indiana Jones.
What?
Who's the guy who plays IndianaJones?
Indiana Jones.
It's just Indiana Jones?
(24:06):
No, no, No.
The guy.
Yeah, I know who you mean.
He's like a, he's a treasure.
I don't fucking know his name,but he looks like him in my
mind.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know if he actuallydoes.
It's tall white man with darkhair.
Lucia's Malfoy was a moredistinct character, but then he
stopped being Platinum Blonde.
Yeah.
All those, that wig was Wig LusLuscious Locks.
Oh, that was a great wig.
Was it a wig, a bleach and tone?
Imagine, yeah, it was a wig.
A bleach and tone.
(24:27):
A bleach and tone.
A bleach and tone.
A bleach and tone.
I need to, we've this podcast,we've reached brain rock.
I've reached rock bottom, brainRock.
If your brain hasn't also wr it,just listening to us talk
fucking shit.
For however long this episode'sgonna end up being, then well
done.
And if you loved it, rate usfive stars.
(24:50):
Don't ever, if you think about.
Writing goes based off of thisepisode.
Think again.
We are your friends.
Okay.
We are your family.
We decided.
Out of the goodness of ours toset up our studio and fucking
record this Dime episode.
We were jet lagged.
We could have easily skipped aweek, but we didn't because we
love you.
So rate us five stars whereveryou get your podcasts and watch
(25:13):
us on YouTube.
Follow us on TikTok Instagram.
Uh, We had technicaldifficulties to This episode is
not gonna be on YouTube.
This episode will not be onYouTube, but you can still
follow us on YouTube.
Stick with the script, Omar,stick with the script.
Don't tell them anything.
And um, you can just, wait fornext week, which is gonna be
better than the, what's goingon.
(25:34):
Fuck.
We're being so authentic and rawright now.
You raw, you said roar.
You said roar.
You being raw and authentic.
I'm being raw and authentic byletting you know that I have
brain rot and I wanna go jumpout the window.
Okay, Mickey, I am going now.
This is the end of me.
(25:54):
Good.
What?
We have to play a game.
No, we're not gonna play a game.
I have a game.
Game.
What were your peaks and pits?
Of what?
Thailand.
Thailand.
Yeah.
My pit is right this fuckinginstant.
This isn't Thailand, is it?
Okay?
my peak was One of my, I hadmini peaks'cause I loved
Thailand.
What my, one of my peaks wasgoing to the PPP Islands.
(26:14):
Oh.
It was nice.
It was a good day.
That was a really good day.
We went on a boat tour, saw thePPP Islands.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
Jumped outta the, I jumped off aboat.
You did jump off a boat.
I love jumping off boats and Iclimbed down the ladder off the
boat.
You did?
You swam a little bit.
Yeah, I did swim.
I did swim.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fun.
You can swim.
I can try.
And then my pit, my pi.
My pi was I don't have a pit.
(26:37):
Did I?
I guess the pit was the Airbnbwe stayed in.
I didn't really like it thatmuch.
It was fine.
It was fine.
It was fine.
It was fine.
My peak.
I was eating fucking deliciousfood.
Yeah.
And saying ate cup to the nicestpeople.
Aw.
My pit was getting a bit sick.
was I was Was it food poisoning?
No, because I did have someweird Ps But you didn't throw
(26:57):
up, you did say you were gonnathrow I did say I was gonna
throw up buy, yeah.
Yeah.
But you didn't.
But it didn't, don't think itwas food poisoning.
It only lasted two days.
I think it was heat stroke.
It happened right after theboat.
Yeah.
Maybe heat stroke.
Yeah, no,'cause it was like Iwas congested.
I was like so congested.
whatever the fuck happened thenthat was my pet.
Okay.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
We'll see you next time.
Thank you.
So thank you so much, so much.
(27:19):
We'll dig into something moreinteresting next week.
Promise.
if this was the Midseasonintermission episode.
Intermission episode.
Then just wait till you see whatwe've got in store for you for
the rest of this season.
Are we doing seasons?
I don't know.
I just made that up.
Just you wait to see what we'vegot in store for you coming soon
(27:44):
till, let's dig in.
I can see the life draining fromyour eyes.
What life?
jet lag.
She's a bitch.
We just tried to film anepisode, let it be known and
everything deleted.
Software completely just shutdown and we lost the entire
episode.
So you will get your given.
Okay.
This is my, uh, I'm, I'mrevolting.
(00:20):
Revolting against what?
And revolting against who?
Against big internet andtechnology and software, because
I don't like that.
What just happened.
We got back from Thailand twodays ago, and I feel violently
ill from jet lag.
I've, I have felt this jet lagbefore, but it's been a while,
so I've forgotten how bad it canbe.
And this is my first time goingover like to Asia and back from
(00:43):
Asia.
And that's a, it's a wholenother ball game than going to
Europe, I think, going the otherway.
Yeah.
The National Dateline is like aportal into a different
dimension.
We left Thailand at 2:00 AM No,2:00 AM 2:00 AM yeah.
On Sunday.
And then we got back in SanFrancisco at 6:00 AM on Sunday.
The same Sunday.
So we've been living in aperpetual Sunday, or we had been
(01:06):
living in a perpetual Sundayfor, it still feels like it, 48
hours.
Which is crazy.
I have a headache.
Let me, Let me, I have aheadache.
Let me list your ailments.
Let me talk about my ailments.
I have a headache.
I have a headache.
I haven't been able to sleeppast 5:00 AM This is what people
love to listen to.
People love to turn on theirfavorite podcast and listen to
people complain.
Today's podcast is aboutcomplaining.
(01:28):
Let's dig into complaining.
Let's complain.
Let's complain.
Oh my God.
Let's complain.
Oh, everything.
Oh my God.
Let's complain about everything.
Okay, so I haven't been able tosleep past 5:00 AM for the last
two days.
I haven't been able to not, Ihaven't been able to stay awake.
Past 9:00 PM Even though Inormally go to bed at 9:00 PM
but I'm so tired all day becauseright now Bangkok time.
It is what, like middle of like4:00 AM?
(01:49):
Yeah.
It's the nighttime.
That's crazy.
I should be asleep right now.
But my body's like, what thefuck are you doing?
Haven't pooped properly.
You've not pooped.
No, because my digestive systemsaid it's not time to poo.
Drink this.
Mind garden.
Calm and clarity with adaptogensand new tropics drink grapefruit
and bergamot.
That is a mouthful.
It is helping a little bit.
It kind of is Let's scan thebody.
(02:10):
We're going down.
We have a headache.
I worked out for the first timeand like really f what feels
like two weeks yesterday.
So my titties are sore.
You went to the gym every day inThailand But I didn't work.
'cause the hotel gyms, they onlygo up to 20 pounds.
In the weights.
And I'm a big boy, 24 kilos.
Okay?
He is all 50 pounds.
Yeah, that's, I'm bigger thanthat.
(02:30):
I do like 70.
What for a chest pu.
So now my titties are sore.
Oh my God.
What else do I complain about?
I did abs too and that wasreally sore.
Go on, go down your fuckingbody.
Tell me everything you about.
Now my legs are, now my legs aresore'cause I worked up my legs
today.
And then my niece, do you seewhat I have to live with?
Do you see what I have to livewith?
And he says I complain all thetime.
(02:51):
All he does is you do bitch andmoan.
We both do about like his sorefucking knees.
He turned 30.
You were just complaining aboutyour knees.
Yeah, I know, but I do it in afun, cute way.
You're annoying.
I do it in a fun, cute way.
You are annoying.
Come on now you make my earsbleed.
Come on.
My ears are bleeding too.
From the jet lag.
My ears are bleeding as well,and I have the pain in my eye.
(03:12):
I'm gonna rip my eyeball out.
I'll help.
I'll do the other.
You do one of mine.
I'll do one of yours.
Oh my God.
Love mutual eyeball ripping.
Oh, and then my knees hurt.
And my feet.
Oh, my feet, my feet.
Ugh.
Don't get me side on my feet, mytoes.
Oh my goodness.
Oh.
I just wanna stretch them out.
Not like we were on a brand tripin Thailand and I got three
(03:34):
different massages.
We got three different massages,and they rub your feet down
every single time.
And I'm like, this is the life.
All of a sudden we come back andI'm like I haven't had my weekly
massage yet.
we were watching season, we werewatching.
What were we watching?
What were we watching?
We were watching.
What were we watching, Matthew?
We were watching episode Two of,we were watching episode two of
season three of White Lotusyesterday, and they have the
(03:55):
scene in there where they'redoing the spa treatments, and it
reminds me of how great themassages are in Thailand and the
three that we got when we werethere.
I miss it so badly.
We really did not need threetreatments when we were there.
No, it kind of hurt by the thirdone.
Like I was kind of in pain and Iwas like begging them to stop.
Because the first one was thehigh massage or they beat you
up.
She beat me within an inch of mylife and I said.
(04:18):
Thank you Cap cop, because I'm aboy and you have to end with
cop.
Yeah, we got told off, didn'twe?
Well, It sounds nice.
Cap.
Yeah, I know, but like you're aboy okay.
Whoa.
Which I actually do preferlanguage wise.
I was talking about this theother day.
Whenever you have some languageslike Spanish, when you say the
(04:40):
table is a girl.
And the shelf is a boy that's sostupid for objects to have
gender and Thai.
It's based on who's speaking,whether you're a boy or girl,
which is the same in HindiIndian Du.
Yeah, I like that.
It's better.
Yeah, it makes sense.
And there's probably like athird gender in there somewhere.
I think there's like a neutralone.
Like a neutral, yeah, a neutralsaying.
Yeah.
(05:01):
And, but then in like Spanishand French and like romantic
languages, there's a neutralfor, why are they called
romantic?
They're not really.
But anyways, the Thai massages,there were two people on top of
me and they were elbowing me andhitting me and punching me and
kicking me.
Yeah.
The thing about those women isthey'll beat the shit out of
you.
I loved it.
Yeah.
More.
I need it more.
I need it.
(05:21):
And as we have discussed, I'm inpain, physical pain from
emotional too.
I have a pain, a pressure in theback of my right eye.
I have a pain in my righttemple.
Sympathy pains.
Yes.
Agony.
In fact, we are just in pain andI'm gonna complain because I'm
not in Thailand anymore.
Anymore.
Wapa.
I don't wanna be in thiscountry.
We really wanted to do a fullepisode where we talked about
(05:42):
like travel and like just likelife and places we've been
together and hashtag wonderlust,but everything deleted.
'cause we, maybe it's us.
Are we the problem right now?
I feel like things I, my, mybrain can't comprehend what's
happening right now.
What else should we complainabout?
Yesterday I had a napaccidentally at 6:00 PM and I
(06:05):
woke up at 7:00 PM and my a ringyelled at me.
It said, no, and then you yelledat me.
I did yell at you.
You yelled at me for not wakingyou up.
You said, why didn't you wake meup?
'cause I was fucking editing avideo.
Why was I gonna wake you up?
Why didn't you wake me up?
Because your a ring was supposedto wake you up and yell at you.
Or it doesn't do that, or itdoes not do that well, that's a
problem.
What did it say to you?
(06:25):
What did it yell at you about?
When I said that I had to not dothat?
Yeah, don't sleep.
Don't have a nap late.
And I told you that the daybefore, it's hard.
Okay.
When you turn on the heating andthe sun's gone down and you.
Curl up into the corner of thecouch and you're wearing cozy
socks and you've got a hoodieon, and you nestle into a little
(06:46):
burrow that you've created.
The sound or the white noise ofthe heat is the heater on, is
just just doing funky things toyour brain, and then all of a
sudden you slip intounconsciousness.
Yeah, these are the perfectclimate.
These are the perfect conditionsfor decomposition.
These are the perfect cldecomposition.
(07:07):
These are the perfect conditionsfor decomposition.
You mean rotting?
Exactly.
Ah.
Yes, when you just cr cr, but Ican't fucking speak fucking out.
I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
This is gonna be the mostannoying episode we've ever put
out.
I'm annoyed.
We've tried to film this, we'vetried to film this three times,
and the technology that we'reworking with, the apparently
(07:31):
advanced technology, lack ofthereof.
That we're trying to work with,for some reason isn't working.
It keeps deleting everything.
We fucking record.
So all of a sudden now, here weare on the fourth attempt of the
same sentence, and I want tofucking shoot my brains out.
What the fuck is going on?
Fuck you technology, fuck youfor being here and listening to
me ramble.
No, No.
(07:51):
Too far.
Too far.
Serious Fuck the planes for notgoing faster and stopping time
trap stopping.
Can international Dateline, Idon't wanna talk about the
international Dateline, but wecan the international Dateline.
It's, it was close to.
Teleportation.
I was gonna say transfiguration.
Time travel.
Time travel.
What did I say?
(08:11):
Teleportation andtransfiguration.
Fuck me.
Both of those things are wrong.
Both of those things are wrong.
Both of those things actuallydon't even exist, so none of
them do time travel.
Oh yeah.
That isn't either.
Fuck.
Oh my God, my three favoriteteas don't exist.
Oh, that's so sad.
(08:31):
I've just come to a realizationthat my entire life is a lie.
Well, It's never been true.
Yeah, exactly.
So it's a lie.
I'm complaining about the factthat I'm tired.
I'm complaining about the factthat, oh, yesterday.
Fucking hell.
Woke up.
Woke up.
The day that we got back, I waslike, we have to stay awake for
as long as humanly fuckingpossible.
We went to bed at 7:30 PM Well,'cause we got in at 6:00 AM
(08:55):
Yeah.
After an 11 hour flight.
That was the same day as theother flight.
Crazy.
It was a 24 hour travel day thatwas crazy.
It was a 24 hour travel day.
So we got in at 6:00 AM and wewent to bed at 7:00 PM We do you
know how hard it was to stayawake that day?
So hard.
As hard as day.
Actually, we were like, as soonas like one of us would start
drifting off on the couch, theother one would pull the other
person's leg because we're like,no, you can't.
(09:16):
I think the only way you have tokeep stay.
You have to stay awake.
Like you said.
Remember, I think Dumbledoredrinking that fucking water and
he is like, you have to keepdrinking, sir.
Like why am I Dobby?
Like you said, remember youwould be Dobby.
You would be doby.
Hello?
In the lore of Harry Potter,you'd be Doby.
Who?
Who would you be?
I don't know.
I dress a little bit better thanDoy, I think.
No, you don't.
(09:37):
Hey, you're literally wearing asack right now.
Look at you.
Yeah.
I'm wearing a sack too.
We are both Dobby.
You're the um, you're um,creature.
Creature.
I'm so d Dobby.
Iss such a golden retriever andcreature's such a black cat.
That's so true.
You are such creature energy andI'm such dobby creature's, such
a cunt creature.
(09:57):
What, say Dolly's like Dobby.
Dobby.
I don't know what he says.
Creature's not happy right now.
Oh, creature's like mad thatthere was a mud blood in the
house.
Oh yeah.
Not the race.
Race What else do I want tocomplain about?
The weather is nice though.
I wish it wasn't.
sometimes when you feel likeshit and you want the weather to
be shit too.
To reflect your mood.
(10:17):
Yeah.
It's too sunny right now.
That's what you want.
Like why is that fucking treehd?
That tree that I'll always lookat and always talk about.
You love that tree?
I don't love that tree.
The tree loves me.
Ugh.
I don't know.
It's like very like alluring.
Maybe it's the ashwagandha, thisdrink Is there ashwagandha in
this drink?
Yeah.
What the fuck does it do?
stress reduction.
No.
I'm pretty stressed actually.
(10:38):
Albeit, I have not drank theentire Can you have not drank
any of it?
I've been complaining.
We will stop complaining for onesecond.
Talk about how amazing our tripto Thailand was.
S car.
I love Thailand.
It was your first time there.
It was my first time in Asia.
You got a tattoo?
I got a tattoo.
It was my first time in Asia.
My first time having mangosticky rice.
My first, what else was my firsttime massage in Thailand.
(11:01):
I had a lot of firsts inThailand.
And I really loved it and Iwanna go back right now.
Yeah, it's one of those tripswhere I feel like I'm.
I'm so sad that we're not thereanymore.
I miss it because A people areso nice.
People are so nice.
People here in America suck.
Everyone's a cu They're so mean.
I'm mean too.
I'm not.
You're mean in America.
You were nicer in Thailand.
Oh my God, a hundred percent.
As soon as we were leavingThailand, I was like, oh, Gus,
(11:23):
go Gus.
What word was that?
Speaking is so hard.
Guess I'm.
Guess I'm gonna be a cunt.
As soon as I fucking bolt theflight, I was like, let me look.
Let me shed this like nice skinthat I've been wearing.
One thing that they do is whenyou're driving in Thailand, the
beeping is not meant to be an.
Angry, you know, in the US youlike beep and you're like, I'm
(11:43):
pissed off at you.
That's what that means.
Yeah.
I did it like three timesyesterday.
In Thailand it just means, hi,I'm here behind you and I don't
want you to hit me.
I don't wanna hit you.
So just Hi.
Yeah, it's good.
That's what it is.
It's not like I'm angry at you.
No.
It's oh, I'm just here.
It's so cute.
I love it.
Saw it being and then, and nowwe're watching fucking White
(12:05):
Lotus.
Aw.
Watching what once was for us.
Having that come out while we'rein Thailand.
Now I'm watching it and I'mlike, I understand, like I feel
like I'm just like connectingwith the show in a different
way.
Than people who like haven'tbeen to Thailand.
Wow.
I'm like those people that studyabroad.
Girls, you literally, oh, I wasjust gonna say, you sound like a
dickhead.
Those girls that go study abroadin Italy and they come back
(12:27):
after three months and they'relike, chow me more.
And Italy, they eat gelato andeveryth they want, and in here
you wouldn't get it'cause youhaven't been to Italy.
And that's what I'm doing.
That's what you doing right now.
I know.
And I kind of love it inThailand.
Everyone's so nice, but inAmerica, everyone's so mean.
You literally agreed with me,Thailand, the fact that I say
(12:49):
things and then you agree withme, you're saying the same exact
thing as me.
I jo, I even hold this mic up.
I'm so jet lagged.
I know.
It just keeps flopping around.
It's heavy.
I will say one thing.
I spent every waking minute oftwo weeks with you and I cannot
bear the look of your faceanymore or the sound of your
grading voice.
(13:10):
Oh my God, you are pissing meoff.
I have to record.
I have to sit here and I have toproduce this content with you.
I don't even wanna look at you.
I don't wanna hear the sound ofyour voice.
I wanna go lock myself in thebedroom downstairs and stare at
a blank wall.
What?
In complete and utter silence,but no.
(13:34):
Here I am.
I have to listen to you fuckingspeak for 30 minutes.
30 minutes, 30.
Fuck me.
Too bad I can't do it.
You have a job.
You've also all heard about howI left to quit jobs.
What if I just quit?
(13:54):
The thing about traveling withyour partner for two weeks is
that by the end of it, like Iwas getting an like over you.
No.
You can't say that.
Yeah, I can.
No, you can't.
Why?
Because I'm amazing.
I was getting over you.
What's said to get over me aboutI'm look so chill.
You literally don't shut up.
I'm so high maintenance.
I pretend to be so chill.
And I'm like, actually you arethe opposite of chill.
(14:16):
Same me too.
I think we're both equallyannoying.
Yeah.
As it turns out, listen, whenyou spend that long with your
partner on a vacation, you wantsome time apart.
But too bad we have a podcast.
Oh my God, no.
In the Airbnb.
So we stayed at hotels.
The first week we were on abrand trip in Thailand with tr
Can I speak with?
(14:37):
You just, You just shortcircuited literally.
Oh my God.
My brain like it went zap withthe travel tourism of our, of
Thailand, what are they called?
The tourism board in Thailand.
The fucking tourism authority inThailand.
The tourism authority.
That's what we were there withTory Authority of toilet.
Oh my God.
That's how hot.
Say the tourism.
The tourism authority ofThailand.
(14:59):
'cause you don't wanna saytoyland'cause you said the
tourism authority of Thailand.
This, it's really hard to say.
Oh.
Oh my God.
The tourism.
This is me.
This is me.
This is me breaking down.
This is my death.
This is me thi yo.
Oh, not really.
This is worse.
She died.
This is worse than death.
Fuck me.
(15:19):
Okay.
The tourism board of Ari, fuckme.
So the first week we were there,we were on, we went to Bangkok,
we were in, we went to pcat, andthen we went to Crabby.
And those places, we had a hotelthat they had organized for us.
Nice ones, fucking nice luxury,fucking nice fucking hotels.
(15:42):
One of them was like$2,000 anight.
I ain't paying that.
The crabby one?
Yeah.
Crabby, was it 2000 thousandnine?
I think it was like 2000.
That was like a, that it was afull suite.
We had a private pool.
It was like unbelievable.
Yeah, that was crazy.
And then right after that wewent to Komu by ourselves.
Mm-hmm.
Like we said goodbye to.
Luxury.
Luxury, the life.
And our, we had a handler.
Oh, we got driven aroundeverywhere.
It was great.
He was like helping us, likeaccess the world.
(16:04):
Yeah.
And then we said bye to him,went to Ko Mui and we were like,
let's do an Airbnb so we can doour laundry and have a little
bit more of a have more spaceand blah, blah, blah.
We got to this Airbnb.
I've never in my life, I studiedinterior design at university.
I've never in my life.
Including my own shity designsat Uni.
Seen such a poorly constructed.
(16:27):
Home.
Oh, so bad.
It was the, there was terriblelayout.
Lemme paint you a picture.
Describe it.
Lemme paint you a picture.
You walk into the propertythrough a door, which leads into
an open area that has a pool andthen.
At the back of the pool, there'sthe house, the main house.
You walk past the pool to themain house, they're sliding
doors to get into the livingspace.
(16:48):
Mm-hmm.
But they're sliding doors.
They don't lock unless you holdthem tight and turn the key
violently.
So that was challenging.
There is an upstairs.
But there are no stairs insidethe house, so when you're
walking around, you can see upin the living room and you can
see a mezzanine, like a Julietbalcony to the upstairs bedroom.
But there are no stairs ininside the house.
(17:11):
Underneath where the upstairsbedroom is.
There's another double slidingdoor.
That goes into, mm-hmm.
The Bedroom.
A different other bedroom.
Main bedroom.
Yeah.
And so that's past the livingroom into the bedroom.
And then.
in the bedroom, there are twodoors.
One for a washer dryer room andone for, there's a sliding glass
(17:32):
door with a bathtub in it, andit's just one little room, but
it's not a bathroom.
It's not a bathroom, it's justone little room.
It just has a bathtub, but itjust has a bathtub, like a
jacuzzi bathtub.
Literally.
It's also, there's no lights inthere.
There was no lights in there.
There were no lights in there.
No, it was like as if it was acloset.
It was door.
There was one other thing inthat room, but I can't remember
what it was.
I don't know.
No, it was like a, I think itwas like a step ladder or
something, maybe.
(17:52):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was something random, butit's like a sliding door as if
it was supposed to be a closet.
That would be a walk-in closet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it wasn't a walk-in closet.
It was a walk-in jacuzzibathtub.
It was weird.
It was a jacuzzi bathtub.
It was a jacuzzi bathtub, but itwas just in the middle of the
room.
In the closet?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't even know if it wasconnected to the water.
moving past that bedroom, behindthat bedroom, there was a bath,
the main bathroom.
It was literally a sauna inthere.
(18:13):
'cause there was no extractionat all, and I think it was like
semi connected to the outsidefrom that bathroom.
There was another door that ledoutside.
To the back of the house wherethere was a staircase going
upstairs to the bedroom that wesaw earlier.
You go up the stairs and thenthere's a bedroom and a bathroom
attached to that, and then youlook out over the Juliet balcony
(18:36):
to see the rest of the houseroom, but the only way to access
that bedroom is from theoutside.
Anyway, which is crazy work.
Needless to say, we had our ownbedrooms in this house because I
got ill I got ill for one dayand then I was like, I need to
like whee in cheese.
What was that?
I don't know, but I washorrible.
I think it started off withallergies.
(18:57):
Like I was definitely likeallergic to like the world, with
my hay fever.
Yeah.
That's such a pussy, littlebitch ailment to have, oh, I'm
allergic to the world.
Yeah.
That kind of sucks for you.
And then I like couldn'tbreathe.
And then I think the flying too,I was just like, I just feel
like a little bit like congestedand flying also just make me
like my, like sinuses.
(19:17):
Get really inflamed.
So I think that just bugged meSo we did have some time apart.
Which was nice.
Oh, we slept a, yeah.
The point of that was that weslept apart for the nights that
we were in the Airbnb.
It was just those three nights,which I kind of, it was lovely.
It was lovely.
It was lovely.
I enjoyed it.
Looking back to myself, do youknow what I was like, do you
know what this is Fucking, thisis.
Maybe we should have separatebedrooms, should we?
(19:38):
Maybe.
There's a point.
That's crazy.
People do that.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
And you can decorate your ownbedroom and your own design and
you can live in your ownbedroom.
That's crazy.
And have your own space.
Go to sleep.
Sleep when you want and wake upwhen you want to worry about.
No, I like that bedroomdownstairs.
I do too.
But I also I loved that.
Yeah, it was, it was kind offun.
I get why people do it.
You are annoying to sleep withsometimes.
You are too.
You sure how?
No, I don't snore.
You do?
(19:58):
No.
When did I snore?
When you're sick, you snore.
When I was sick, I snored.
And when I'm drunk sometimes Isnore.
Yeah.
Fucking hell.
And it's really loud.
Which isn't that often.
Yeah.
And I'm not that, I'm not thatweird either.
You weird.
Let's talk about it.
You fucking talk in your sleep.
When we first started dating,you would.
Yeah, I don't that anymore.
You would talk in your sleep.
No, I think you still do.
No, I don't.
No, you don't anymore.
No.
(20:19):
So you don't have I do like haverandom muscle spasms sometimes.
You such, yeah.
Yeah.
But everyone has those.
Yeah.
You have like weird ones.
Why?
You'll have like a full bodyspasm in your bed.
Yeah.
Cause a, because I'm fallingasleep.
Cause like a fucking earthquake.
A what do you call them?
On the Richter Scale?
Yeah.
The Richter Scale.
A 9.0.
On the Richter scale.
Yeah, Richter.
(20:39):
That's what I was trying tothink of.
who's Richter?
Who is Richter?
The guy invented the scale.
He invented the scale.
Richter, Mr.
Richter.
Richter.
Scale.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Imagine being called Richter.
would it be so weird if I justfell asleep during this podcast?
'cause I could.
I could literally just pass out.
You talk enough in your sleepanyway.
So it would be the same.
Any, it would be the same.
It'd be the same.
(21:00):
You used to f Remember the firsttime I like slept in your bed
and you were like talking and Iwas like, huh?
What?
What was I talking about?
I don't know.
Some random shit.
You're like, you'd be like, howmany ha Oh yeah.
I, it was, look similarish.
Ty, go.
Ty Goop.
(21:20):
Nobody snorty, snoop.
Exactly.
I think that's been enough ofdigging into nothing.
I'm still hungry.
I'm hungry.
Yeah, we didn't really provideenough in this episode, but
that's what you get today, thisweek.
Oh, hungry.
Yeah.
This was supposed to be, this isepisode.
I'm also hungry.
Generally.
This is a short episode becauseI'm fucking jet lagged, and we
were like, we have to dosomething.
(21:41):
I was like, we need to justcomplain for a while and then
next week you can get asubstantive episode.
but this week you get a jetepisode.
Sometimes in my mind I'm like.
I'm nervous that we're gonnahave run out of things to talk
about on our podcast, and then Isit down jet lagged, and I'm
like, let's just complain aboutwhat we're complaining about at
the moment.
You get what you get and you gotwhat you got.
(22:01):
I just feel like a zombie.
I just feel you sound like PACCap's character in White Lotus,
who I didn't know was a realperson.
We have a friend and she had adog, RIP Betsy.
She was like 50,000 years old,and our other friend.
(22:21):
Named her Parker Posey, likenicknamed her Parker Posey.
And Matt thought that was a,just a joke name that I thought
he just named her.
Parker Posey.
'cause that's a funny name thatdoesn't re, that doesn't seem
like a real human's name.
Parker Posey, who's named, whonames their child, first off,
who starts their lineage namedPosey.
Like their last name, Sy.
I didn't know anything aboutPosey.
(22:42):
And then the mother was like,and the father, I guess we were
just like, let's name her.
Parker Posey.
Parker Posey.
It's a foolish name.
Foolish.
It's a foolish name.
Foolish.
So I thought he was just, Ithink it suits her.
Why?
Yeah, it does for sure.
Now that I know she's a realperson, but I thought he was
just naming her Parker Poseybecause like, oh, look at Papo,
also suited, suited the ancientdog.
Betsy also suited both of her.
(23:04):
RIP, Betsy, I love you.
But Parker Posey, yeah, shedoes.
She is silly.
Is that her real accent?
No.
Oh, I don't think so.
Is that a character?
I think so.
Is she actually like that?
Yeah, because you know the actorthat plays Lucy Malfoy?
Yeah.
Her husband.
Yeah.
He's British.
I didn't know it was him.
And they're playing a specific,they were playing a specific
character.
The accent is from some, butfuck town in North Carolina.
(23:25):
Yeah.
I didn't know that was himeither, because I only know him
as vicious novel.
I wouldn't, how many people Ilike offend when I say things
like butt fuck down in NorthCarolina.
I'm here so it's fine.
Yeah.
Os I don't care.
You didn't know it was Lucy'sMalfoy.
I only know him as PlatinumBlonde Was he the guy that was
in the oa?
No one watched the oa.
I watched the oa.
I did too, but I didn't know.
(23:45):
The OA was amazing.
Yeah, but I didn't know he wasin Thata A was amazing.
He was the main villain guy,wasn't he?
I don't know.
He looks like the main villainguy.
At least he also reminds me ofsome like another American
actor.
He's British, so.
oh, he also, he reminds me ofsomeone like Indiana Jones.
What?
Who's the guy who plays IndianaJones?
Indiana Jones.
It's just Indiana Jones?
(24:06):
No, no, No.
The guy.
Yeah, I know who you mean.
He's like a, he's a treasure.
I don't fucking know his name,but he looks like him in my
mind.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know if he actuallydoes.
It's tall white man with darkhair.
Lucia's Malfoy was a moredistinct character, but then he
stopped being Platinum Blonde.
Yeah.
All those, that wig was Wig LusLuscious Locks.
Oh, that was a great wig.
Was it a wig, a bleach and tone?
Imagine, yeah, it was a wig.
A bleach and tone.
(24:27):
A bleach and tone.
A bleach and tone.
A bleach and tone.
I need to, we've this podcast,we've reached brain rock.
I've reached rock bottom, brainRock.
If your brain hasn't also wr it,just listening to us talk
fucking shit.
For however long this episode'sgonna end up being, then well
done.
And if you loved it, rate usfive stars.
(24:50):
Don't ever, if you think about.
Writing goes based off of thisepisode.
Think again.
We are your friends.
Okay.
We are your family.
We decided.
Out of the goodness of ours toset up our studio and fucking
record this Dime episode.
We were jet lagged.
We could have easily skipped aweek, but we didn't because we
love you.
So rate us five stars whereveryou get your podcasts and watch
(25:13):
us on YouTube.
Follow us on TikTok Instagram.
Uh, We had technicaldifficulties to This episode is
not gonna be on YouTube.
This episode will not be onYouTube, but you can still
follow us on YouTube.
Stick with the script, Omar,stick with the script.
Don't tell them anything.
And um, you can just, wait fornext week, which is gonna be
better than the, what's goingon.
(25:34):
Fuck.
We're being so authentic and rawright now.
You raw, you said roar.
You said roar.
You being raw and authentic.
I'm being raw and authentic byletting you know that I have
brain rot and I wanna go jumpout the window.
Okay, Mickey, I am going now.
This is the end of me.
(25:54):
Good.
What?
We have to play a game.
No, we're not gonna play a game.
I have a game.
Game.
What were your peaks and pits?
Of what?
Thailand.
Thailand.
Yeah.
My pit is right this fuckinginstant.
This isn't Thailand, is it?
Okay?
my peak was One of my, I hadmini peaks'cause I loved
Thailand.
What my, one of my peaks wasgoing to the PPP Islands.
(26:14):
Oh.
It was nice.
It was a good day.
That was a really good day.
We went on a boat tour, saw thePPP Islands.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
Jumped outta the, I jumped off aboat.
You did jump off a boat.
I love jumping off boats and Iclimbed down the ladder off the
boat.
You did?
You swam a little bit.
Yeah, I did swim.
I did swim.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was fun.
You can swim.
I can try.
And then my pit, my pi.
My pi was I don't have a pit.
(26:37):
Did I?
I guess the pit was the Airbnbwe stayed in.
I didn't really like it thatmuch.
It was fine.
It was fine.
It was fine.
It was fine.
My peak.
I was eating fucking deliciousfood.
Yeah.
And saying ate cup to the nicestpeople.
Aw.
My pit was getting a bit sick.
was I was Was it food poisoning?
No, because I did have someweird Ps But you didn't throw
(26:57):
up, you did say you were gonnathrow I did say I was gonna
throw up buy, yeah.
Yeah.
But you didn't.
But it didn't, don't think itwas food poisoning.
It only lasted two days.
I think it was heat stroke.
It happened right after theboat.
Yeah.
Maybe heat stroke.
Yeah, no,'cause it was like Iwas congested.
I was like so congested.
whatever the fuck happened thenthat was my pet.
Okay.
Bye.
Okay, bye.
We'll see you next time.
Thank you.
So thank you so much, so much.
(27:19):
We'll dig into something moreinteresting next week.
Promise.
if this was the Midseasonintermission episode.
Intermission episode.
Then just wait till you see whatwe've got in store for you for
the rest of this season.
Are we doing seasons?
I don't know.
I just made that up.
Just you wait to see what we'vegot in store for you coming soon
(27:44):
till, let's dig in.
I can see the life draining fromyour eyes.
What life?
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