March 12, 2025 • 45 mins
We're working on our fitness and we want to tell you all about it! Join us for this week's episode talking all about our ~health & wellness~ journeys & even some...ozempic allegations!? GASP.
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Let's Dig In: @letsdigin.podcast
Matt Benfield: @mr.benfield
Omar Ahmed: @omarahmed.co
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Good morning, good afternoon,good evening.
Good night.
Welcome back to, why does itsound Like Hard?
You sound like a criminalpodcast.
Oh my God.
on this Hollowed Eve, Who knowswhat you will discover once you
open the doors?
Could it be chaos?
Or could it be disaster?
(00:22):
What?
I dunno.
Sometimes I feel like I'm oncrack.
You might be.
You're drinking Celsius, so it'spretty close.
Welcome back to another episodeof Let's Dig In Where we Are,
your hosts, where we are, yourhosts, and the skies above our
heads.
Actually, it's a ceiling.
Shut up.
(00:42):
We're gonna talk about fitnesstoday and body image.
I feel like body image.
I feel like body image is socrazy.
You said actually.
No, we're talking about bodyimage.
Like I'm talking about fitnesstoo.
Like I just had this idea whereI was like, I really want, this
is something I really wanna talkabout.
'cause we're in our fitnesseras.
I know how you hate the wordera, but it's something that
we're in.
It's out, but we can be in it.
(01:04):
We are in it era, but it era offitness.
But it is out.
We're in it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I just feel like it's reallyshaped my it's shaped my entire
life at the moment.
My body image and the way that Ilike want to, I don't know, be
in my skin.
It's a big thing.
I think it's a big thing foreveryone right now.
I think everyone's talking aboutfitness and body image and being
(01:24):
skinny.
Being skinny.
Being skinny.
He said, oh my God, you hadhair, hair, hair, first, waist
to wear.
You had hair first.
Listen, I believe the childrenare our future.
That is the funniest TikTok Iknow to ever come out of world
I've ever seen That episode.
That episode.
Hello?
(01:45):
Rupa RuPaul gets on TikTok andsays, I believe the children are
our future.
And the top comment is, Ibelieve the children seal emoji
our future.
And he is standing in like 16hundreds Britain.
And someone made like a HopeCore video out of it.
And then one of the little clipsis when RRR won the Oscar.
The Oscar for best picture acouple years ago.
(02:05):
Ah, it's so funny.
This is.
True brain rot.
Yeah, for sure.
This is internet brain rot.
If you want internet brain rot,you've come to the right place.
Anyways, let's dig into health,fitness, body image, all of that
shit.
Do loo.
It's Let's dig in with Mad andOmar, imagine if that was a
pathetic little fucking intro.
Like, Honestly, we also we'relike, what, 12 episodes deep and
(02:26):
we say that we're gonna do a, a,we say a lot of things jingle.
I can't be bothered.
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna do it.
Like, Why don't we just recordsomething And just like in the
voice notes, I.
And then just put it on there.
Okay.
As a jingle and we just sing it.
Okay.
I'm at, this is, why was I come.
(02:47):
Let's dig in.
Twang Yu.
Oh, where should we start?
When did you start doingfitness?
When did I start doing fitness?
When did fitness become Genesis?
My favorite topic.
When does the When?
Oh.
Do you know how it should start?
I just had a really good idea.
Oh God.
I just had a really good idea.
I love when you have this, youare all witnessing the, just
like the spark of somethinggenius.
(03:08):
Okay.
We have always discussed how didto structure this podcast.
We've discussed amongstourselves, we've discussed with
our team, how do we do it?
We're at the bloody dinnertable.
Start a main course and dessert.
Oh yeah.
What idiots.
Oh yeah.
We need to, come on.
We need to really do thebranding.
'cause here we are logisticallyit is not very, the podcast
setting is not very suitable tolike actually dine.
(03:31):
We ask that at a dinner table.
And if you're watching onYouTube, you can see this like
makeshift situation that we alsosmacking sounds on a microphone
just, or not disgusting unlesswe do asmr.
No, that's disgusting.
This is not an ASMR podcast.
I have a Celsius and that'sabout as much as I'm willing to
consume On this podcast.
Speaking of body image, speakingof body image, did you know that
(03:51):
Celsius makes you burn so muchfat?
Yeah, it's like green tea esque,essential energy accelerates
metabolism, burns body fat.
I don't know if it's true.
No.
When I was like chugging Celsiusto like my heart's content, last
year when I had those ozempicallegations, I was burning those
fat cells off my body.
You were also eating about 1200calories a day.
I was eating like.
(04:12):
15, that is a 10-year-oldchild's dad.
Yeah, I know.
We watched that episode ofsupersize versus Super Skinny.
'cause I was trying to educatemy friends on UK trash TV
culture from early twothousands.
And supersize versus SuperSkinny came up and I was like,
you have to watch this crazyshow.
They take a really.
Morbidly obese person and aninsane what?
(04:33):
The UK is crazy.
Can I not say that?
No, of course you can say that.
Yeah.
But the UK is crazy becausethat's a TV show that exists.
And then they take someone whois like borderline anorexic.
And they make them switch diets.
And basically the supersizeperson, the supersize, I'm
saying this because that's whatthey're called on the show, the
supersized person will eat aprotein bar and then an energy
drink for breakfast and somealmonds and another energy drink
(04:56):
for lunch.
Whereas the super skinny personhas to eat 15,000 big Macs a
day.
Yum.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
And your point, body image.
And your point was that's whatyou were eating last year?
No, my point was, thank you somuch.
My point was they did a segmentand they were like how many
calories should like you beeating if you're a child or
toddler?
(05:16):
A 10-year-old, a teenager, anadult?
I think it was like 1500 waslike a toddler.
We'll get to your ozempicallegations from last year.
But we should start at thebeginning, at the appetizer.
come out with my eatingdisorder?
Yes, come out.
Come out as having an eatingdisorder.
Yes.
I don't have an eating disorder.
Should we trigger warning theshout of this episode?
(05:38):
Maybe.
I feel like body image is, oh,this is deep.
I think we got a bit too, we gota bit too crazy.
If you click on the title ofthis episode, you will know what
it's about.
So I don't need to add a triggerwarning.
Trigger warnings are so dumb.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
You are becoming so, you arebecoming a version of your side.
I am sorry that you in the, inlike 2020.
Did you agree that?
Yeah, I do agree.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, you in 20 yay or no?
(05:59):
I, no.
Yeah, I know.
I say yeah, I know, but I saidyay.
I know.
Okay.
Calm down.
Yes.
The old version of me in like2020 would hate, but I think
trigger warnings are dumb.
I'm sorry.
You choose to consume what youwant to consume.
It's not anyone's responsibilityto tell you.
What about at people?
I'm not yelling at people, I'mjust speaking my mind anyways.
Trigger warning, we're gonnatalk about probably eating
(06:22):
disorders and body image.
Okay.
well, When I started to workout, I, no, not even work out.
It's like when did you startstart thinking about fitness?
When did you think about oh,maybe I shouldn't eat that.
Or maybe I should eat thisinstead.
Well, I was fat.
So in the beginning I was in thebeginning, beginning God, God
created heaven and earth forwhat's worth.
No one say ing I.
(06:43):
They do.
No one will say hate ing.
I was what you would call Husky,Husky, Husky, Husky.
I shopped in the husky.
Think that's so crazy that iseven a it was just regular boys
clothes up the bottom and thenhusky clothes.
Like Husky boys.
Husky boys.
I don't know if there was huskygirls.
I think it was just petite andlike.
regular.
I don't think there was a, Idon't think there was a plus
(07:03):
side section for women back inthe day.
I think it was just husky men.
Like young, young, like young,like young girls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I had a husky sectionand that's where I would get my
clothes because I was fed a dietof Big Macs and french fries.
I got home cooked meals a lot ofthe times, but my aunt would
also bring me.
McDonald's every week.
Multiple times a week.
Actually, I would get McDonald'sjust brought to me a Happy meal
(07:24):
and then I'd get a toy.
I had, I have two.
It's the size of a, like adouble bed.
I have two big plastic boxesunderneath my childhood bed.
Just full of Happy Meal toys.
Oh yeah, that's approximately500 probably Happy Meal toys.
You still have them?
They're all Furbies.
Probably Furies.
No.
Oh, when Happy Meals hadfurbies, don't trigger warning
for the FIEs.
That was trigger warning for theFIEs.
(07:44):
That was a a good time.
No.
When they did the Beanie Babies,they're like yeah, yeah.
Oh, that too.
The little animals.
Generally when they gave actualtoys instead of shit.
Pieces of plastic.
Like pieces of plastic.
You have to make yourself likefuck off.
Yeah.
And apple slices because whatdid you used to eat at
McDonald's?
I would get cheeseburger andfrench fries.
Crazy.
I'd get fish fingers and chips.
Whale.
cause it was the only thing thatHal at the time, that's why I
(08:07):
love the fish filet.
No, that's freaky.
Your favorite thing fromMcDonald's is a fish filet.
Good.
You enjoy what you grew up on.
Okay.
You eat fish from McDonald's.
Yum.
Ew.
Yum yum.
Bo.
That's why I don't like eating.
Like even though I'm not a mus,I don't, I'm not practicing
Muslim.
I just still don't enjoy eatingpork or pork based products.
(08:28):
We going Islam.
We are not going to Islam today.
We did that last week.
that's the beginning of my, Ididn't think about health until
college 18 probably.
Did you go to the gym when youwere in college?
Yeah, I started to, but notreally.
Okay.
But I got really intimidated bythe gym.
Yeah.
'cause it was all straight boys.
Yeah.
When you're husky, when you're ahusky, little homo husky and a
(08:48):
Hu Husky, little homo huskylittle homo, that's husky little
homo with a lot of little rolls,back.
Rolls back rolls.
I did have back rolls probably.
Did try.
My dad did try to force me toplay sports as a kid.
As all straight fathers.
Wait, wasn't you the coach ofsome like sports team?
He was the coach.
He was my coach for every singlesports team.
(09:09):
He tried to get me to play.
What so T-Ball?
I like T-Ball.
T-Ball was a good, do you knowwhat T-Ball is?
No.
It's like the beginning, thelike children's version of
baseball.
We'll have like instead of itbeing thrown at you, you just
have the baseball on a little.
I lost interest.
Stop.
I lo No, I'm telling you I lostinterest.
I zoned out.
I zoned out so fast.
(09:30):
I can see it happening you guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
No, you have the baseball on alittle stand.
Why are you why are youcontinuing?
Because I want to explain whatT-Ball is.
I don't care.
I don't care it bowl, I don'tcare.
It's got a bowl in it and therewas a T shape.
Great.
Those were kids and then he wasmy coach for that, and then he
was my coach for.
Flag?
No, he wasn't like coach forflag football, but he tried to
give, what the fuck is flagfootball?
(09:50):
It was like beginner football.
Oh, is that what you like?
Instead of like you tacklingsomeone, you just take their
little flag?
Yeah, yeah, Pussy.
But then I went to my first gameand then I got a grass stain,
and then I stopped playingbecause I said I didn't want a
grass stain on my new whitepants.
Period.
As you said, diva, my parentssaid you were gay.
And I wasn't That Isn't thatcrazy?
Crazy work.
Hello?
Isn't it so crazy?
(10:10):
I got a grass stain and Istopped playing football.
Wait, I've always wanted to tellthis story on here.
Okay.
And now I, I have got a reasonto tell this story.
It's time.
High school PE was so crazy'cause I just really wouldn't
participate in it.
And I would like lie about beingsick all the time because I
fucking hated getting changed.
A, in the boys changing room.
Oh yeah.
B.
Participating in the boys sportsbecause they were always like
football or fucking basketballor rugby or.
(10:35):
Tennis was okay.
Annoyed me and I wanted to playgymnastics with the girls.
Did you have cricket in school?
Yeah.
You did cricket.
That's fun.
Yeah, I could play.
Did you play it play cricket?
I used to play cricket with mybrothers.
Cricket feels fun.
So my, in my back, back garden,I feel like it's just such a,
like South Asian sport.
It is, isn't it?
It's such, it's just reallypopular there.
Yeah.
So I feel like, yeah, I justgrew up playing cricket with my
brothers, breaking neighbor'swindows all the time.
(10:56):
That is a, do you use a, do youuse a bat?
Is it kinda like baseball?
It's like baseball, but the batis longer and flat on one side.
Oh, like a paddle kind of.
It's long, right?
Like a sword like, kind of likea sword.
Sword.
Paddle.
Yeah.
Exactly.
yeah, I enjoyed it.
It was a fun sport, but then,but not one had to play it like
(11:17):
competitively in school.
Fuck off, right?
Stop telling me what to do,right?
And get your stinky pits awayfrom me.
Those stinky pits boys, I hatethem.
yeah, I would lie all the time.
And when I like came out and Iwas like, actually like actively
gay.
A actively participating in thegay.
They would try and bully me inschool, in the locker room.
(11:37):
The boys, The boys would try andbully me in the locker room
Yeah.
As boys do.
And they'd be like I don't wannaget changed next to Omar is a
bender.
And I'd be like, I wouldn'twanna look at you if you were
the last piece of shit on theplanet.
I once almost got suspendedbecause I was talking back to
someone in the locker room Ateacher came to walk in and he
was like, both of you out rightnow.
(11:58):
That's, what are you doing?
That's not how you speak topeople.
Yeah.
And I was like, he's literallystarted it.
I dunno what's wrong with you?
I'm really pissed off at thiswhole situation.
I fucking hate pee.
I fucking hate you and I hatesmell.
That's what I have to say aboutthat.
for a year, I think I was likechanging in the.
Staff room.
The staff locker room.
They let you?
They let me.
Yeah.
Huh.
But I was like, I hate it here.
like, I always lied or I waslike, either Skived off.
(12:20):
Didn't go.
Huh?
Played truant.
Skied.
Skived.
Skived too.
Truant.
What are you, you, what do you,what do you call it when you
like miss a class?
Um, Hooky.
Hooky.
Hooky.
Yeah.
You skived off?
Yeah, I skived.
I've never heard that before.
Great.
Okay.
I've never heard hooky.
Yes, you just said it.
Yeah.
'cause of tv.
Skived off.
I like that.
(12:41):
Skived.
Oh, I just would skive all thetime.
or I just would pretend to besick.
So you could say I wasn't thefittest.
Person, but I wasn't in any way.
I was just, I've always justbeen like, good, skinny.
Did you have a gym at yourschool?
Like a fit, like a weight.
Weight, a gym, a weight, weightlifting.
No, that's crazy.
I think that's just Oh, really?
That's an American thing.
We have that.
Yeah, we don't have that.
Oh.
So in our school we had changingrooms and then we have an indoor
(13:03):
gym.
Yeah.
Which you'd use for likebasketball, gymnastics, like a
gymnastics section, a basketballsection.
And then outside gym where you'dhave like football.
Like AstroTurf.
Yeah.
AstroTurf.
Demonic.
A demonic substance.
What do you mean?
AstroTurf?
Yeah.
What about it gets everywhere?
Huh?
AstroTurf gets everywhere.
(13:23):
It's the one with the sand init, so it'd have like sand all
over it.
What they would like?
Resand?
You mean fake grass?
No, no, no, no, No.
Huh?
It was like fake grass, but itwas like sandy.
They would like put asAstroTurf, that's what it was.
But it wouldn't just be likefake grass.
They'd put fucking sand on it.
Oh.
To make it like, I don't know,bouncy or if you fell you
wouldn't hurt yourself as much,but.
(13:45):
Sure you get AstroTurf burnslike crazy.
Sure.
Oh yeah.
Wait.
Yes.
And I remember, I understandyou'd get like AstroTurf in your
socks and shit anyway.
Fucking high school.
Piss me the fuck off.
And so I would get changed inthe staff changing rooms,
obviously when the staff weren'tthere.
'cause that's fucking weird.
And then they'd be like, how canwe help you participate?
Which was really nice actually.
That is, That is progressive forthat time period.
I had, there was a she wasactually the head of our.
(14:07):
Our year group.
So like like each year group hada head, head, head boy, and
head.
Gail?
No.
Had like a head teacher.
Like a teacher.
Oh, like a teacher that wasresponsible for the year group?
Yeah.
And ours was the new, one of thenew PE teachers, Ms.
Watson.
And so, oh, love a female PEteacher.
Love a female PE teacher.
Oh, lesbians.
Yeah.
Love, love her.
Well, She a lesbian, so I don'tknow.
(14:28):
Probably.
I don't know.
And so she basically asked melike, how can we help you
participate in p And I was likefirst of all, I.
I'd wanna die.
But if that's not an option,then I guess integration would
be so nice.
I'm like, all my friends are allthe other girls.
I'm friends with all the girls.
And I hate the fact that I can'tdo sports with my friends.
I fucking hate the boys.
(14:48):
They're all losers.
I.
And they're all losers.
And so I came back to highschool right before my final
year of high school.
They changed the curriculum ofPE so you could integrate.
You got to decide the very firstday of year 11, we got to decide
whether or not we were, we.
We, it was like a category ofsports, so it was like
gymnastics, dance fucking hulahoop or whatever the fuck we
(15:11):
did.
We just did dumb shit.
And then, or you could do like,tennis, tennis rounders oh, girl
sports.
Gay sports.
Men's sports.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Like you could decide which onesyou wanna do, or like, it was
like basketball, football,rugby.
Like you could decide what todo.
There was a lesbian in the highschool.
She chose to do the footballlike.
Yeah, why can't we do that?
Why is that not normal?
Exactly.
No, it was crazy.
'cause you know, you'd getchanged in your own changing
(15:33):
rooms, whatever, and you'd goand play the sports that you
want to play.
Why is this not normal?
And so I was like, oh my God,divas, I'm gonna be like playing
gymnastics and do dance with mylike, did you hula hoop?
I don't know.
I made that up.
It was gymnastics, it was dance.
I can't remember what else itwas.
And then all of a sudden I waslike, yes sir.
I get to do this for the wholewhole year.
And I was so excited about PEagain.
(15:53):
yeah, I would just go and dancearound.
It was so fun.
Why is that not the norm?
I'm trampolining.
I always want to dotrampolining.
Is that a sport?
Yeah we, we had a trampoline.
We would do trampolining.
What's the sport?
Trampolining.
But what do you do?
Jump around.
Like in, yeah, everyone wouldhave a go in a, for you just
jump around.
It was like an actual, actualtrampoline.
(16:14):
Not like a fucking, not the onethat you have in like your
backyard.
In your backyard.
Yeah.
Not one of those ones.
It was like a full rectangularlong.
What would you do, liketrampoline?
you would do routines.
Oh, routines.
Okay.
You like, do now do a frontflip.
Do a back flip.
Okay.
Do like a little thingy whereyou Good.
Do like a sit where you can do asit, like jump, jump, sit, and
then stand up again.
Yeah, it was good.
That's so dumb.
I wish like we had that was goodenough.
(16:35):
Anyway, and then I loved it andthen I was like, Ugh, fitness,
love that.
turns out actually like being ina setting where you actually
enjoy the people and the sportitself makes you wanna do it.
You know what's interesting?
We didn't have.
you could play sports, but youdidn't have to choose a sport.
You would just go to pe, whichwas just like a general like run
(16:56):
around the room for a coupletimes, do some sit ups.
That's crazy because that'scrazy because our PE teachers
would like create a, like aplan, like a day, what we gonna
do?
So for example, oh really?
Like the boys, for example, inthe September to December
months, they would play outdoorseSports, but then in January
came around, they would goinside and play like basketball
inside and then they would dolike January to like March.
(17:19):
They'd play like mm-hmm.
indoor sports.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, and we'd have like track,but like more so like the track
relay race.
Oh, and rounders.
Rounders, huh?
That's that's like a really gayversion of baseball Rounders uk.
Yeah, and it's like, sounds likeyou have a bat, but it's not
like a baseball bat.
It's like a smaller bat than abaseball bat.
(17:39):
We love bats.
We love bats, but it's rounders.
It's like baseball.
But it's so gay and it's reallylike, it's really fun and like
fast and okay.
Only the girls played it until Ijoined the team and it was like,
okay, slay.
The gay has arrived.
It was so fun.
No, we didn't have a sports likethat.
We just played, we did a mileruns.
(18:00):
Did you do a mile run?
No.
See how many, how long takes torun a mile.
Do you ever have to do what werethey called?
Like a sports.
Do you have a sports day?
Every year we'd have a sportsday.
What do you mean?
And like yet everyone would haveto participate in something.
No, we had Farm Day.
Okay.
What have I told you about that?
What the fuck is Farm day?
Yeah, we had a farm day.
Tell me, I don't know anythingabout this.
(18:21):
So we had a wait.
Oh my God.
Sometimes I think we've told youeach that everything, there's
nothing that can, there'snothing you can possibly say
that's gonna make me.
Stumped.
It's gonna stump me.
We had a farm on our school, soour school had a farm.
Okay.
Our school had a farm, and youcould take ag classes.
Agricultural classes.
Oh, that's useful.
Like you could, if you wanted tobe a farmer, you could take
(18:43):
classes to become a farmer.
That's useful.
Yeah.
It's good for people in NorthCarolina.
There are tech pros out there.
Someone get on the fucking farm.
Exactly.
But then we would have a farmday, one day, A year, a
semester, Where you could bringyour animals from home.
To school what?
Into like a petting zoo kind ofthing?
so people would ride horses,shut up, shut up to school, shut
(19:06):
up and put them in the farm inlike the zoo petting zoo area or
whatever.
We have.
Shut up.
Sports people would bring theirdogs, their cats, their pigs,
their horses, their, they didn'tbring cows.
Maybe they brought cows.
Actually, people from farmsbrought cows.
If you were in, in a farmingfamily, you could bring your.
Animal.
That is crazy.
(19:26):
So then everyone from theschool, what did you bring?
What did you bring?
I didn't bring anything.
It's Did you have toy day?
Like everyone, lets bring in atoy.
No, we had gender bending day.
I'm sorry, what?
You know, Spirit days.
What Spirit days?
Yeah.
Like you've seen this on TV I'msure, where like it's like a
week full of like, I think it'swhen the homecoming is when like
the last football game is, no,this country's crazy.
(19:48):
And then you have different daysthat are different themes.
No, and one of the themes, Idon't know if they still do it,
probably don't because it wasvery problematic, is gender
bending day.
I don't know if it was calledthat.
It was like gender swap day orsomething where you would dress
as a boy or a girl.
If you're a boy or a girl.
That's crazy.
Man to woman or woman to man.
Oh my God, that's wild.
Oh my God.
Yeah, we would have that.
Wait, how progressive of youguys I.
(20:08):
Uh, I don't know if it wasprogressive.
That's crazy, dude.
Um, Yeah, we had that, we hadFarm Day.
We did not have a toy day,whatever that was called.
Gender bending day.
That's cra that's a crazy thingto say.
You've never seen that.
It's like a bi, it's like a No,I've never seen that.
I had Toy Day and that and WorldBook Day.
We had book day.
Yeah, we had book day where theScholastic book Fair would come
and, oh, this is my favoriteday.
'cause I was a.
(20:28):
Fucking nerd.
Then we would go, the book fairwould come Scholastic Scholastic
book Fair Book Fair.
Where the people would come withthe books and you would go and
get the best books.
Scholastic.
Scholastic.
Tell me that.
Like scholar, okay.
Scholastic.
I don't know if that's actuallya word.
Fucking losers.
Whatever.
It would be like, it would belike a book fair where so the
loser Brigade would come withtheir loser.
Yes.
Yes, me and my Battle of theBooks team would go and we would
(20:50):
go, I'm sorry, what I've toldyou about that.
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck?
Farm Day battle of the booksI've told you about.
Battle of the Books.
Next, you're gonna say that youwere in the Glee Club, which you
were.
You know what you were gettinginto.
Fucking Loser.
Oh my God.
Sometimes I'm like, who did Imarry?
I have the ick.
Do you know what?
Cancel, cancel.
No this, this show's canceled.
(21:11):
Wait, lemme tell you about,about the books.
Lemme tell you about Battle ofthe Books.
What is this episode about?
It was about fitness, but nowit's about books.
Battle of the Books was a veryimportant part of my life'cause
it taught me about reading.
Actually I was a big nerd beforethen, but it like enhanced my
love for reading.
You would in middle school, wewould get like a list of books
that we would have to read forlike the semester and at the end
we would go to like.
a competition with the otherschools where there would be
(21:33):
judges and they would ask youquestions about each of the
books.
That's fun.
Fun.
And you have to know the answersabout them.
Yeah.
That's fun.
So you need to know thesynopsis.
You need to know the plot.
You need to know readingcomprehension.
You need to know that.
Just comprehension.
Yeah.
But you would need to know, likewe would have that in English,
like that would be part of acurriculum.
Exactly.
But it was like you had to read20 books.
But you're like doing itcompetitively.
Yes.
Competitively.
Because you're, yeah, I was anerd.
Yeah.
(21:54):
We got really far.
That was really good.
I will say that's really crazy.
So when would you say youactually got into health and
wellness and fitness?
And I feel like I just didn't, Ididn't until I came back from
traveling way after university.
One of my roommates at uni, hewas super into the gym and was
he hot?
No damn.
(22:15):
Sorry.
Good body.
Okay.
Body was T that counts He wouldonly talk about like taking
creatine and supplements and I'dbe like.
Okay, but like, have you seenhow nice my hair looks today?
Is this the guy that you tookpre-workout with before you went
that one time?
Yes, I did do that one time.
I know that story exactly.
Okay.
I guess my first time takingpre-workout, I was so tired, but
I was like, I have to go on anight out.
I have to get ready and I haveto go party with the divas, but
(22:37):
I'm a little hungover.
By this point of the podcast,you should by now have grasped
that I was a fucking crazyperson growing up.
Still are little bit of a partyfreak.
Yeah.
And I um, just couldn't say noto a good night out, but I was
like so, so tired was like, oh,you have this like pre-workout,
(22:58):
mix it with water and drink it.
It'll give you energy.
And I was like, that soundsamazing.
Let me try that.
And the name pre-workout didn'treally like trigger anything.
Yeah.
I'm about to go like dancearound.
Perfect.
And then I drank it and I waslike.
I obviously,'cause I was likestationary, I didn't move.
'cause when you take for yourworkout, you have to like move
'cause you get like, yeah.
You know your body.
It's doing something to yourbody.
(23:18):
It's not doing anything.
No, I know.
It turns out uh, no, it's likemaking your, like it makes me,
my skin like itchy and like abit tingly.
Yeah.
And so I was like, I feel crazy.
And then I like got in theshower'cause I was like, I need
to like scrub this off of myskin'cause this feels crazy.
I mean, it woke me up.
So then I went out and had agreat time.
Great.
You didn't want to get like aRed Bull?
No.
I dunno.
I didn't think about that.
(23:39):
Yeah.
Uni, I never worked out.
I really just didn't.
Didn't, and like, I feel likefitness culture wasn't really
that huge.
'cause of social media.
Oh, totally.
Which, just getting started onsocial media and like, I think,
what was I just on Instagram inmy, like second year of uni?
Yeah.
No one was posting thirst strapsthere yet.
No.
Yeah.
No one was posting like, no, Iwas just on Instagram.
Like you were taking pictures oflike a a coffee.
(24:01):
latte art.
And then that's it.
That was what Instagram was.
And I feel like fitness, culturein the way that I guess is so
domineering over our lives rightnow is truly because of social
media.
yeah, I came back from travelingafter a year away.
I think that was the first timeI went to the gym.
I joined the gym.
I was like seeing this loser.
But he had great body.
And I was like, let me try anddo that too.
And then, yeah, I started goingto the gym and then I started
(24:24):
like seeing all these men on myInstagram all of a sudden.
And I was like, oh my God, wait.
Men are hot.
I want have, I wanted absbefore?
Never.
But now I do.
Yeah.
And I'm like, what?
23 already?
Yeah.
You look at 23 year olds now.
Fucking hell look my age.
They're crazy, but they'rejacked.
They're ripped.
Ripped.
How do you get like that?
Sometimes you'll see someonelike, you'll scroll TikTok, and
(24:44):
you'll see someone who's like.
Fucking hell.
I do think also the usage ofsteroids is more prevalent than
we like to think.
Yeah.
We like to think that everyoneis like natural and they like,
no.
I know They don't like thatbecause they worked hard.
They now'cause they're onsteroids.
No, it's crazy.
How many people are on steroids?
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Lot of gay men.
It's Yes.
A lot of gay men.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's like a big thing.
body image.
(25:05):
Body image.
We'll talk about that.
No.
Have you ever wanted to on RosRoids?
No.
I just think it's crazy becausein my mind I'm like, if I can't
obtain something naturally, Ijust don't care about it.
But I know the negatives of thesteroids.
Right?
Totally.
you go bald.
Oh yeah.
Ew.
Yeah.
You can tell, you get acne, youget back knee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, No.
I'm not getting back acne so Ican have abs just read me
before, like my hair is like myprice possession.
I'm not doing anything to damagethat.
(25:26):
Literally, who's gonna beinterested in me if I have acne?
Nobody.
Not you.
Not me.
Not I for sure.
I'm teetering on the edgewhether or not I am because of
everything you just said aboutyour book nerd thing.
Shut up.
So anyway, so you startedworking out Then I started going
to the gym.
No, I started going to gym.
Oh, going to the gym.
Different what?
I knew what I was doing.
Oh, I didn't, yeah, I didn'treally start.
what I was doing.
(25:47):
The thing is my brother had agym membership and then I like
when I was like at home for acouple months before I moved to
Berlin, I would like just liketake his membership and just go
to the gym and pretend to be himand do what I really don't know,
like ab work workout.
I would like go on theelliptical, like not the
elliptical.
I didn't do, I really didn'tknow what to do, not the
elliptical.
And then again, I'm gonna likereally speed through this'cause
(26:08):
this is really just not thatinteresting Move to Berlin.
Started going to the gym morefrequently.
I met you at the gym.
That's how crazy like gymculture was.
it wasn't until I made guyfriends in Berlin, but they were
all straight.
All of my guy friends werestraight in Berlin.
It was like my girlfriend'sboyfriends.
And I started becoming closewith them and then.
I started going to the gym withone of them and then he was like
showing me things.
Mm-hmm.
He'd be like showing me what todo for like this workout or that
(26:29):
workout and that's when Istarted doing things.
Mm-hmm.
For the first time ever.
Not properly, like not well,but, and also I wasn't eating
properly at all also.
You've heard I was partying allthe time, so it was no positive
effect of me going to the gymever, other than the fact I said
I was going to the gym.
Right, right.
And I met you and you met me.
Without the gym, we wouldn't betogether.
That isn't that lovely.
I think I started working outregularly when I moved to
(26:51):
Berlin, honestly, I didn'treally understand what I was
doing until like maybe in thepast two years have actually
clicked in my head what to do.
And a lot of that's because ofTikTok.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not gonna lie.
I know learning about, like itwas harder to find information
about working out on socialmedia.
Back in 2017.
Yeah, 2016.
I feel like I always have theselike moments when whenever we've
(27:11):
gone on trips together.
And I like used to take photosand see like, see how I looked
and I'd be like, I'm not reallysatisfied with my progress so
far.
Mm-hmm.
And I like would be like, now Ineed to commit even further as
soon as I go back and, and thenI'd do that a couple times in a
row.
Mm-hmm.
A couple years went by and thenI'd be like, okay, now I need to
like really get into it.
And then covid happened and itall went to shit.
Before Covid, we were lookinggood.
(27:33):
We look back on pictures ofourselves and I was like, I was
actually skinny.
Not really muscly.
Oh, I didn't even talk about myberries phase.
Oh my God, that was crazy.
My big berry phase.
Oh yeah, you were insane.
Like I go to berries nowsometimes like maybe once or
twice a week, just depending,but like when 20.
1818.
2018.
2019.
Because you did like apartnership with'em, so you got
like free berries and you wouldgo all the time.
(27:54):
Right.
I feel like,'cause you didn'thave I had a job that I went to,
so I had my friends there.
Yeah.
I was trying to make friendsmade friends with all of the
Barry crew losers who arefucking.
Lame.
Sorry.
I don't give a fuck.
You're, oh, I don't care.
It was just like that, that likethe culture, the fitness
culture.
at the time, I don't think it isthat much right now.
'cause like we go to Barry's nowand I just don't think it's that
crazy.
(28:14):
Yeah.
As it used to be.
But the whole like hashtagFitFam thing give me a fucking
knife so I can slit my ownthroat.
Like, That is so annoying.
I was in the FitFam.
That is, I was a FI was, I was afounding member of a FitFam.
That is crazy.
I was so into the cult.
Yeah, it, it was called Cold.
So it was such a cult.
Uh, I would go to Barry's at5:00 AM I would go to like the
5:00 AM class, hideous for noreason.
(28:35):
No.
Did I have a job to go to?
No.
I was an influencer.
What the fuck was I doing?
Going bears at 5:00 AM I wouldsometimes go double days.
Like I would go again at four,three work.
'cause you wanted to look likeall these new people that you
were surrounding.
I wanted to look like them sobad, but I didn't realize that
doing that much cardio and doing15 mile an hour fucking sprints
without eating properly.
I wasn't eating, I wasn't likefueling my body properly.
(28:57):
I was just getting skinnier andskinnier.
You could see like all myfucking ribs.
I had muscles.
Yeah.
I mean, Your abs were like, myabs were popping aing, but this
was because it was nothing else.
But I look skeletal.
Yeah.
I was really skinny and like mybody frame I feel like looks
good with a little bit moremuscle on and a little bit more.
Meat on my bones.
Meat.
We love meat.
We love meat on my bones.
We love meat.
(29:17):
Uh, We love meat on your bones.
I do.
I look better now that I havesome fucking meat on my bones in
my mind.
I can't tell, I can't tell.
When you gained weight, like youlook filled out.
I look at photos of you from 20,I guess 19.
Even like right before thepandemic and when we were like,
into the fitness culture a lot.
Mm-hmm.
And I think we were on a reallygood trajectory to like mm-hmm.
be Fit and healthy.
(29:38):
We were also vegan for threeyears.
Yeah, we were vegan.
That was crazy.
And that kind of, oh, we couldtalk, talk about that.
We should do another episode onthe Yeah, that is crazy.
That was crazy indoctrination.
Oh, we were really in, wait.
We were really susceptible toindoctrination from multiple
sources.
Brought the berries cult andthen the veganism.
I think generally we're kind ofsusceptible.
(30:01):
No, I mean, I just feel likethere's lots of forces at play.
I think I filled out through thepandemic'cause during the
pandemic we wanna talk aboutbody image.
The most depressed I've everbeen, because we were stuck in
Canada, we were in Canada forthe pandemic, so we could not
actually leave the country.
We weren't permanent residents,forced citizens close for
fucking eight months at a time.
And the gyms were closed forlike yeah, a.
(30:21):
Year, I think the gyms wereclosed.
You couldn't do anything.
You could only work out in yourliving room or workout outside.
But in Toronto, the winter isfrom fucking November to May.
So you can't really work outoutside during those periods.
I mean, I remember the firstweek we were like moving the
couch and we would like put oneof the fitness instructors lives
on Instagram live and tether itto the TV and be like, this is
(30:41):
really fun.
Let's cute for a second.
I love jumping around my livingroom.
The ceiling is not low at all.
I was like, why don't we justbuy like a, we fit.
That was actually the beginningof my body image issues that I'm
not gonna lie.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I'm going to blame.
We fit.
I'm gonna blame Nintendo as acompany for starting my body
image issues, making me step upand step down and step up and
step down.
(31:01):
Say that I'm obese at thebeginning and say I weighed more
at the end of that workout.
That's crazy.
It is like you are more obesenow.
Go check with a doctor.
Oh my God.
Or do yoga on this.
We fit board crazy.
Oh, through covid.
Oh, I had another idea.
Oh wait, I need to finish mythought.
Yeah, go hold that.
Hold that one.
Hold that thought.
But my idea.
No, hold your thought.
Through COVID.
It was really depressing, so Iate a lot of talkies and drank a
(31:24):
lot of wine, specifically wineand talkies.
I gained a lot of weight duringcovid.
Do you know how much you weighedat your like peak?
I think actually over 200.
You were like, whoa, I think itwas like 200 or over.
Not of muscle, like of fat.
Yeah.
that was in the era of big bodypositivity and I was trying to
(31:45):
like, make myself feel better bybeing like, I feel great in this
body and I, I feel like I look,I feel good.
I didn't actually feel thatgood.
Yeah.
'cause I wasn't a doing anythingnutritionally well for my body.
I wasn't working out, I wasn'tmoving my body, I was moving my
body wrong if I was working out.
I'm just like, I was kind oflying to myself that I was happy
where I was, I was, and fitnesspeople like right now, like when
you thought, when you think,when you think about like
(32:06):
fitness or like body scams.
I feel like the body positivitymovement itself is and was like
a little bit toxic.
I agree.
And like slightly I'm trying totread lightly here, at the same
time as you being.
Again, having gained a littlebit more weight from the
pandemic, at the same time, it'sokay to maybe take steps to feel
better in yourself.
(32:27):
'cause truthfully you didn'tfeel good.
I didn't feel good.
I was drinking so much.
I look back at photos of myselffrom that time and my face was
so puff, my face's face was likedouble the size.
Yeah.
That's why I had ozempicallegations.
Oh.
Two years.
We could talk about that.
Fucking hell.
First of all, you just remindedme of when you first noticed.
Nintendo called you a big fatty.
Mm-hmm.
(32:47):
I just remembered that if in myhouse, ski grope in a South
Asian household either your momor your auntie is gonna be like,
oh, you should have more food.
And if you help yourself to somemore food, they'd be like, oh,
you're having another serving?
And I'm like, hello?
Oh, fuck me.
Excuse me.
Oh, fuck me that you told me toeat more.
Literally.
Oh, you're gonna have another,you gonna have another non, are
(33:08):
you gonna have another roti?
Oh.
I'll just go kill myself.
Didn't your mom also doesn'tyour mom also, if someone's like
bigger, they call, she calls herhealthy.
She calls them healthy.
Yeah.
My mom is like, okay.
She's describing a friend ofmine or someone that we know.
She's like, oh, that healthyone.
But she means she means healthy.
She means a little bit,chunkier, but then shames you
(33:29):
for eating an extra non shames.
She seems shame so much, like Ithink now too, me and my
brothers grew up like reallyskinny.
Like we were just like generallylike very slim.
And so she'd just want us to eatmore.
But then that was the worstpart.
'cause she'd be like, you looktoo skinny.
You need to eat more food.
You need to eat more food.
And she's just been saying thatlike our whole lives, yeah, you
look weak, you should eat more.
(33:50):
And I'm like, can you shut up?
Yeah.
Literally.
Literally.
Can you shut up now?
Look at you.
You're not weak.
You're strong.
I'm strong.
This is the first time you'veever like looked like beefy
again, because I actuallyparticipated in learning
education.
It's the nutrients, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's more so the like, theworkouts are one thing, but like
the nutrients are really, I feellike yeah.
(34:10):
Pandemic happened.
I like really fell off of myfitness.
Yeah.
Journey and then like as soon asthe gyms opened up again, we
were like going to the gym.
Mm-hmm.
TikTok helped by like, I thinktwo, I guess two years ago when
I was like first seeing.
Workout videos for differentmuscle groups.
And like TikTok was really likethriving.
Mm-hmm.
Two, three years ago.
And so I was like saving thesevideos and then doing these
(34:30):
workouts at the gym for thefirst time.
Like I'm gonna do like a chestday and then a back day, and
then like a leg day.
Yeah.
And then, and now I have like, Igo to the gym four or five times
a week, and then I go to Barry'sand Solid core here and there.
Yeah.
And like I just feel like I'vegot a good rhythm going, but I
wouldn't know how to do any ofthat.
And I wouldn't know what to doif it wasn't for the fucking
internet and TikTok and thesegym bros.
(34:50):
Yeah.
and actually know the gym guys.
I don't listen to boys when itcomes to life.
Some of the boys are good, someof the no, no.
You I do boys workouts for upperbody, but I do the girls
workouts for, yeah, lower body'cause.
the body is tea, but some of thestraight men on there are very
comforting for me.
Like Some of them are annoying.
I, no, I have them.
I have them.
They're saved.
Everyone's saved most of thestraight men for like nutrients.
Like they know about the proteinand the foods.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(35:11):
Yeah.
And they do a How would you haveknown about creatine monohydrate
if it wasn't for.
one of the boys, the girliesknow how to make the craziest
protein meals.
Yeah, Yeah.
Protein based meals.
the cottage cheese cookie dough.
Crazy cottage cheese pizza.
I'm not doing cottage cheese.
Did you see there was a videothat came up on my TikTok before
this girl had made a pizza withchicken as the crust.
(35:32):
Oh, that chicken as the crustnow.
That is excellent.
Well Then you just.
What you grind?
You blend up the chicken, grindup the chicken bones in like a
mixer.
Yeah.
Um, You grind up the chicken,right?
Sure.
And then you put flour.
I don't assume know.
Okay.
I dunno.
I didn't watch it.
Oh, you okay?
She, I saw chicken, pizza,crust, and I was like, next I
could do that next.
That's crazy.
(35:52):
What's wrong?
I don't know.
It was a bit crazy.
It's just the high pitch.
Anyway, fuck me.
Thank God for TikTok.
Thank God for TikTok.
And then I feel like because ofthe last.
I saw it like, oh, this is goingto, this is going to ruffle a
feather or two, but I did haveslight more weight than I wanted
to like two years ago.
No, I didn't take Ozempic.
Fuck me.
(36:13):
There is like online forumsabout us and there is Ozempic
allegations.
It's a forum.
People need to know about theforum.
No.
Don't they know about it?
People know about it.
No.
Nobody needs to know about theforum.
People know about it.
One needs to about, it's acommon thing.
Everyone knows about it.
Don't say the word.
Don't say the words.
You know the form if you knowit.
Don't say the words, but youknow what form it is.
And also like, in my mind I waslike, so when I found out that
it existed and we were like onit, yeah.
(36:33):
I was like, obsessively likelooking.
'cause I'm like, people aretalking about us and people are
talking about our bodies.
Yeah.
And I'm like, really?
I'm like ashamed orobjectifying.
I know.
I'm like ashamed.
I say the weirdest shit and I'm,I'm like, I'm disgusted.
Yeah.
I feel violated a little bit,but also kind of obsessed.
No, I don't do it anymore.
I was obsessed.
I will, you still look at itSometimes.
I'm interested in what peopleare saying.
Don't ever send it to me.
I refuse to know what anyone'ssaying about me.
(36:54):
'cause in my mind I'm like, whydo I care what people are saying
about me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
I don't know that you exist so,sorry.
I'm not, I'm not listening towhat you say.
No, I don't care.
I find it like a little bitdisturbing and like a little bit
upsetting that people are havingthese conversations about.
Us and our bodies online.
Yeah, I think it's fucked up.
Anyway, I was Mpic allegationswith one of them, which is
fucked up.
(37:15):
And also one of my friend'sfriends, one of my friend's, I
think sister said that shethought iHeart was on I pic.
Yeah.
And I was like, bitch, when?
Like I wasn't even big.
You did lose weight fast though.
It's'cause I stopped eating.
You wouldn't calor, you wouldn'tAn extreme calor.
Literally, in my mind, I'm like,if I can be obsessive about
something, like if I am my A DHADHD brain is gonna like really
(37:36):
fixate on one thing.
Yeah.
It's gonna be this one thing.
And I would allow myself if Ihave this goal, I track my
macros for the first time.
This was like a, maybe a yearand a half ago, and I was like,
okay, maybe I wanna like lose alittle bit of like weight before
I start gaining muscle.
Mm-hmm.
Lose some fat before I gainmuscle.
I dunno if that was the rightway to go about it.
'cause I've always been likeskinny and then maybe there was
like a little bit of like skinnyfat involved just because of my
(37:57):
diet.
And then I started like cuttingout so much stuff and then I
would eat like a fuckingtoddler.
Last year, maybe like thebeginning of last year a little
bit.
And then I got a little bitobsessed.
With it.
And then I was going out so muchat the beginning of last, like
this time last year, and I justlike really wasn't dieting
properly, but I looked snatched.
Yeah, crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I look back at photos and I'mlike, I do look really skinny.
(38:19):
Yeah.
Because now I've, since then, Ijust focus on eating more
protein.
I'm like actually like hittingmy like goals and like.
just prioritizing nutrition in amore healthy but also long
lasting way.
Well, Yeah.
So like the extreme caloricdeficit you were doing, why am I
on that for five months?
You only supposed to do, ifyou're gonna do like something
like that, you're supposed toonly do it for like a month and
(38:41):
a half or two months max, twomonths max.
your body will start eating yourmuscle.
Yeah.
And you don't want that.
In the spirit of being open andjust transparent.
Transparent, that's what I wannasay.
That's the word.
I want to share this informationwith everyone because.
If this is a podcast where wetalk about shit like is, is as
if you're a friend, you're satwith us and we're having these
(39:02):
open discussions.
Sometimes they're a little bitdifficult to say and even to
hear, and I think sometimes Idon't share these things.
Publicly.
If I'm like on Instagram orwhatever, I might talk about
them with my friends all thetime.
I don't speak these words aloud.
This is why I think we wanted tocreate this podcast to begin
with, is to have open dialogueabout things that maybe we
(39:22):
wouldn't like make a TikTokvideo on, or maybe I wouldn't
post an Instagram story on, Iwas eating like a fucking baby
rabbit.
I lost a lot of weight.
I was parting like a crazyperson.
I looked snatched like, fuck.
My mental health was a littlebit of a low.
I was also navigating like newsocial dynamics for the first
time.
Mm-hmm.
Like moving into the city.
Also, this is the first placeI've lived where I've been
surrounded by gay men.
(39:43):
Specifically San Francisco issuch a male, gay, male dominated
city, and I'm surrounded by allthese men like, you look a
certain way, you look a certainway, and it's just like, how do
I fit into that culture?
And also being here and likelast year, this was going
through my mind a lot.
I feel like San Francisco is notthe most diverse place.
There are pockets of diversity,but I feel like the city itself,
(40:06):
especially the Castro, isn'tvery diverse.
So I found myself in a spacelast year where I was trying to
figure out myself, my body, myimage, and how that related to
being here and surrounded by allthese people.
Huh.
Thanks for coming to my fuckingTed Talk.
Welcome.
as like people on the internet,we've gone through different
phases in our life and sometimeswe're talking about different
(40:28):
things.
Like I was talking about bodypositivity in 2020.
Now I'm like, I was fuck that,fuck that.
I did not actually feel good andI'm going through these
processes myself and that's okayfor us to share.
That's, this is what thispodcast is for us to share what
we're feeling right now in thismoment.
Yeah.
And I'm feeling really good inmy body.
I'm feeling great.
I'm feeling strong.
(40:48):
A I'm feeling strong.
And that's the best thing.
And that's the best part.
Strong, right?
It's not about what I look andlike Strong.
Strong.
Yeah.
It's like that.
It's not about how I look andlike, yeah, sure, I want fucking
abs and I wanna look good and Iwanna look beefy.
I have a body type that I'mtrying to aspire to.
Sure, that's fine.
But that was a choice that Imade, not a choice that.
That's not like pressure fromlike social media or pressure
from anyone else.
That is how I wanna look, andI'm working towards that.
(41:10):
But most importantly, I feelstrong and I feel healthy.
And what I'm eating is good.
And that's the goal.
My workouts are good.
And that's the goal.
And that's the goal and that'sthe goal.
And if the end product is, youlook like one of these fucking
guys on my discovery page onInstagram.
Fantastic.
And I think that's like the maintakeaway is that like.
When we've been going throughthese like journeys of self
discovery when it comes to likefitness and working out and like
(41:32):
body image and stuff, have youfelt healthy?
Have you felt fit?
Have you felt strong?
The answer is most of the timehas been no.
Until very recently.
I can look at the mirror and I'mlike, sure.
My abs aren't showing as much asthey did last year when I was
literally eating the diet of alike a literal rabbit.
Yeah.
do you remember there was likeone moment I remember.
I remember it very vividly.
We were in the Whole Foods andthere was like free cheese
(41:52):
samples and I was like, I can'teat, I can't have one cube.
I was like, oh my god, freecheese.
Let's have a like a slightcheese.
And I was like, no.
It was the tiniest little blockof cheese.
Can't over my caloric intake forthe day.
And you said no, no.
I was like, just have a block ofcheese.
And you said nar.
No.
Isn't that crazy?
That's crazy.
That is really crazy.
Eating disorders happen.
Eating disorders do happen.
(42:13):
That's fine.
And in my mind, I don't think Ilike had, I mean that, that is
disordered eating.
That is like full.
Yeah full, full hand on heart.
That is disordered eating ahundred percent.
But it's about your relationshipwith food back then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That a year ago you did not havea good relationship with food.
No.
You've improved yourrelationship with food a lot.
Yeah.
Because you will.
What changed?
I don't know.
I think it just had a little,like a little bit of a wake up
(42:34):
call where I.
Realize it just was notsustainable.
It's not a sustainable way ofexisting.
Yeah.
And I felt tired all the time.
Yeah.
And also there was a moment, Ithink this was my like breaking
point where I was like.
My hair health, like nutritionand like hormones have so much
to do with your, like the healthof your like body and like your
skin and your hair.
(42:54):
And I was like, my hair feels sodry.
Yeah.
And it took me a really longtime to figure out why my hair,
my skin, it was just like, I'mlike crusting and falling apart.
And I was like, oh, my nutritionis.
Abysmal.
Yeah.
And I think it was the end ofthe summer last year where I was
like, oh my God, I need to makea change.
And I was just like, let me eatthe right types of food again.
(43:15):
And because I think I wastracking things, so to the tea,
I now know like how much proteinI need to eat.
Like I don't track my caloriesat all anymore.
I like, I'll have my meal plansand like set, set foods I want
to eat and then make sure I'mjust hitting my protein goal.
Do you sometimes miss the dayswhen you didn't know what a
calorie was?
(43:36):
Yeah, because I do.
Yeah, because when I go to thestore and I look the like aisle
of Oreos, I know how manycalories are in one Oreo now?
No.
It's crazy and hurts me.
And we, and when we were veganand we could only eat Oreos, we
would eat a packet.
for like a whole packet a wholepacket after dinner.
After dinner with two bottles ofwine.
That's like over a thousanddollars.
Do you know how many bottles ofwine?
(43:56):
I used to go through a day.
Oh, that's the wine.
The guy at the wine shop next toour apartment knew me by name.
Ugh.
And then once when we, I thinkwe were like away for a bit when
we first could travel, he waslike, where have you been?
My number one customer?
That's what, know it always hadmy like two bottles of rose like
waiting for me.
would be good to live inignorance, but now as soon as
you learn what a calorie is, assoon as you learn what a macro
is, you can't go back.
I think as well, like I'm inthis stage of my life now where
(44:18):
like I really do value.
The types of food I put in my,like a hundred percent.
I know I'm going to Chili's likesometimes, like I will once in a
blue moon obviously go and havea little shitty meal just
because it feels good and like Ican do what I want.
But you also know now how thatfits into your larger goals.
Totally.
Because you can fit these meals.
We're gonna the CheesecakeFactory later.
You can fit these meals.
(44:38):
Why are we going to theCheesecake Factory?
Not my choice.
We can fit those meals thoughinto our larger caloric goals.
Yeah.
'cause it is a big part of ourlives.
So like I know how many caloriesI am eating in a day right now
because I'm tracking my macroscurrently.
You don't have to, but I knowhow I can fit some macaroni
balls from Cheesecake Factoryinto there.
Crazy work.
Well, Yeah, that was fuckinggreat.
(45:00):
I love that.
I was like, we covered a lot oftopics from Battle of the Books
to Macaroni Balls.
I thought you were gonna saybowel movements.
That too.
I'm not quite, that is a bigpart of health and fitness.
Oh my God.
The company.
This is a dis, this is adysentery outbreak right now.
Yeah.
Listen, I'm not talking aboutdysentery.
That's crazy.
That is wild.
This we can have another wholeNo, we're not episode.
(45:21):
No, we're no.
We're not on infectiousdiseases.
Oh my God.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode.
If you wanna rate us on ApplePodcasts, we would love that.
If you want to.
Subscribe on all of our varioussocial channels.
We would also love that.
Please do and rate us.
Don't hate us.
Never hate us.
Bye.
Good morning, good afternoon,good evening.
Good night.
Welcome back to, why does itsound Like Hard?
You sound like a criminalpodcast.
Oh my God.
on this Hollowed Eve, Who knowswhat you will discover once you
open the doors?
Could it be chaos?
Or could it be disaster?
(00:22):
What?
I dunno.
Sometimes I feel like I'm oncrack.
You might be.
You're drinking Celsius, so it'spretty close.
Welcome back to another episodeof Let's Dig In Where we Are,
your hosts, where we are, yourhosts, and the skies above our
heads.
Actually, it's a ceiling.
Shut up.
(00:42):
We're gonna talk about fitnesstoday and body image.
I feel like body image.
I feel like body image is socrazy.
You said actually.
No, we're talking about bodyimage.
Like I'm talking about fitnesstoo.
Like I just had this idea whereI was like, I really want, this
is something I really wanna talkabout.
'cause we're in our fitnesseras.
I know how you hate the wordera, but it's something that
we're in.
It's out, but we can be in it.
(01:04):
We are in it era, but it era offitness.
But it is out.
We're in it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And I just feel like it's reallyshaped my it's shaped my entire
life at the moment.
My body image and the way that Ilike want to, I don't know, be
in my skin.
It's a big thing.
I think it's a big thing foreveryone right now.
I think everyone's talking aboutfitness and body image and being
(01:24):
skinny.
Being skinny.
Being skinny.
He said, oh my God, you hadhair, hair, hair, first, waist
to wear.
You had hair first.
Listen, I believe the childrenare our future.
That is the funniest TikTok Iknow to ever come out of world
I've ever seen That episode.
That episode.
Hello?
(01:45):
Rupa RuPaul gets on TikTok andsays, I believe the children are
our future.
And the top comment is, Ibelieve the children seal emoji
our future.
And he is standing in like 16hundreds Britain.
And someone made like a HopeCore video out of it.
And then one of the little clipsis when RRR won the Oscar.
The Oscar for best picture acouple years ago.
(02:05):
Ah, it's so funny.
This is.
True brain rot.
Yeah, for sure.
This is internet brain rot.
If you want internet brain rot,you've come to the right place.
Anyways, let's dig into health,fitness, body image, all of that
shit.
Do loo.
It's Let's dig in with Mad andOmar, imagine if that was a
pathetic little fucking intro.
Like, Honestly, we also we'relike, what, 12 episodes deep and
(02:26):
we say that we're gonna do a, a,we say a lot of things jingle.
I can't be bothered.
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna do it.
Like, Why don't we just recordsomething And just like in the
voice notes, I.
And then just put it on there.
Okay.
As a jingle and we just sing it.
Okay.
I'm at, this is, why was I come.
(02:47):
Let's dig in.
Twang Yu.
Oh, where should we start?
When did you start doingfitness?
When did I start doing fitness?
When did fitness become Genesis?
My favorite topic.
When does the When?
Oh.
Do you know how it should start?
I just had a really good idea.
Oh God.
I just had a really good idea.
I love when you have this, youare all witnessing the, just
like the spark of somethinggenius.
(03:08):
Okay.
We have always discussed how didto structure this podcast.
We've discussed amongstourselves, we've discussed with
our team, how do we do it?
We're at the bloody dinnertable.
Start a main course and dessert.
Oh yeah.
What idiots.
Oh yeah.
We need to, come on.
We need to really do thebranding.
'cause here we are logisticallyit is not very, the podcast
setting is not very suitable tolike actually dine.
(03:31):
We ask that at a dinner table.
And if you're watching onYouTube, you can see this like
makeshift situation that we alsosmacking sounds on a microphone
just, or not disgusting unlesswe do asmr.
No, that's disgusting.
This is not an ASMR podcast.
I have a Celsius and that'sabout as much as I'm willing to
consume On this podcast.
Speaking of body image, speakingof body image, did you know that
(03:51):
Celsius makes you burn so muchfat?
Yeah, it's like green tea esque,essential energy accelerates
metabolism, burns body fat.
I don't know if it's true.
No.
When I was like chugging Celsiusto like my heart's content, last
year when I had those ozempicallegations, I was burning those
fat cells off my body.
You were also eating about 1200calories a day.
I was eating like.
(04:12):
15, that is a 10-year-oldchild's dad.
Yeah, I know.
We watched that episode ofsupersize versus Super Skinny.
'cause I was trying to educatemy friends on UK trash TV
culture from early twothousands.
And supersize versus SuperSkinny came up and I was like,
you have to watch this crazyshow.
They take a really.
Morbidly obese person and aninsane what?
(04:33):
The UK is crazy.
Can I not say that?
No, of course you can say that.
Yeah.
But the UK is crazy becausethat's a TV show that exists.
And then they take someone whois like borderline anorexic.
And they make them switch diets.
And basically the supersizeperson, the supersize, I'm
saying this because that's whatthey're called on the show, the
supersized person will eat aprotein bar and then an energy
drink for breakfast and somealmonds and another energy drink
(04:56):
for lunch.
Whereas the super skinny personhas to eat 15,000 big Macs a
day.
Yum.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
And your point, body image.
And your point was that's whatyou were eating last year?
No, my point was, thank you somuch.
My point was they did a segmentand they were like how many
calories should like you beeating if you're a child or
toddler?
(05:16):
A 10-year-old, a teenager, anadult?
I think it was like 1500 waslike a toddler.
We'll get to your ozempicallegations from last year.
But we should start at thebeginning, at the appetizer.
come out with my eatingdisorder?
Yes, come out.
Come out as having an eatingdisorder.
Yes.
I don't have an eating disorder.
Should we trigger warning theshout of this episode?
(05:38):
Maybe.
I feel like body image is, oh,this is deep.
I think we got a bit too, we gota bit too crazy.
If you click on the title ofthis episode, you will know what
it's about.
So I don't need to add a triggerwarning.
Trigger warnings are so dumb.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
You are becoming so, you arebecoming a version of your side.
I am sorry that you in the, inlike 2020.
Did you agree that?
Yeah, I do agree.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, you in 20 yay or no?
(05:59):
I, no.
Yeah, I know.
I say yeah, I know, but I saidyay.
I know.
Okay.
Calm down.
Yes.
The old version of me in like2020 would hate, but I think
trigger warnings are dumb.
I'm sorry.
You choose to consume what youwant to consume.
It's not anyone's responsibilityto tell you.
What about at people?
I'm not yelling at people, I'mjust speaking my mind anyways.
Trigger warning, we're gonnatalk about probably eating
(06:22):
disorders and body image.
Okay.
well, When I started to workout, I, no, not even work out.
It's like when did you startstart thinking about fitness?
When did you think about oh,maybe I shouldn't eat that.
Or maybe I should eat thisinstead.
Well, I was fat.
So in the beginning I was in thebeginning, beginning God, God
created heaven and earth forwhat's worth.
No one say ing I.
(06:43):
They do.
No one will say hate ing.
I was what you would call Husky,Husky, Husky, Husky.
I shopped in the husky.
Think that's so crazy that iseven a it was just regular boys
clothes up the bottom and thenhusky clothes.
Like Husky boys.
Husky boys.
I don't know if there was huskygirls.
I think it was just petite andlike.
regular.
I don't think there was a, Idon't think there was a plus
(07:03):
side section for women back inthe day.
I think it was just husky men.
Like young, young, like young,like young girls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I had a husky sectionand that's where I would get my
clothes because I was fed a dietof Big Macs and french fries.
I got home cooked meals a lot ofthe times, but my aunt would
also bring me.
McDonald's every week.
Multiple times a week.
Actually, I would get McDonald'sjust brought to me a Happy meal
(07:24):
and then I'd get a toy.
I had, I have two.
It's the size of a, like adouble bed.
I have two big plastic boxesunderneath my childhood bed.
Just full of Happy Meal toys.
Oh yeah, that's approximately500 probably Happy Meal toys.
You still have them?
They're all Furbies.
Probably Furies.
No.
Oh, when Happy Meals hadfurbies, don't trigger warning
for the FIEs.
That was trigger warning for theFIEs.
(07:44):
That was a a good time.
No.
When they did the Beanie Babies,they're like yeah, yeah.
Oh, that too.
The little animals.
Generally when they gave actualtoys instead of shit.
Pieces of plastic.
Like pieces of plastic.
You have to make yourself likefuck off.
Yeah.
And apple slices because whatdid you used to eat at
McDonald's?
I would get cheeseburger andfrench fries.
Crazy.
I'd get fish fingers and chips.
Whale.
cause it was the only thing thatHal at the time, that's why I
(08:07):
love the fish filet.
No, that's freaky.
Your favorite thing fromMcDonald's is a fish filet.
Good.
You enjoy what you grew up on.
Okay.
You eat fish from McDonald's.
Yum.
Ew.
Yum yum.
Bo.
That's why I don't like eating.
Like even though I'm not a mus,I don't, I'm not practicing
Muslim.
I just still don't enjoy eatingpork or pork based products.
(08:28):
We going Islam.
We are not going to Islam today.
We did that last week.
that's the beginning of my, Ididn't think about health until
college 18 probably.
Did you go to the gym when youwere in college?
Yeah, I started to, but notreally.
Okay.
But I got really intimidated bythe gym.
Yeah.
'cause it was all straight boys.
Yeah.
When you're husky, when you're ahusky, little homo husky and a
(08:48):
Hu Husky, little homo huskylittle homo, that's husky little
homo with a lot of little rolls,back.
Rolls back rolls.
I did have back rolls probably.
Did try.
My dad did try to force me toplay sports as a kid.
As all straight fathers.
Wait, wasn't you the coach ofsome like sports team?
He was the coach.
He was my coach for every singlesports team.
(09:09):
He tried to get me to play.
What so T-Ball?
I like T-Ball.
T-Ball was a good, do you knowwhat T-Ball is?
No.
It's like the beginning, thelike children's version of
baseball.
We'll have like instead of itbeing thrown at you, you just
have the baseball on a little.
I lost interest.
Stop.
I lo No, I'm telling you I lostinterest.
I zoned out.
I zoned out so fast.
(09:30):
I can see it happening you guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
No, you have the baseball on alittle stand.
Why are you why are youcontinuing?
Because I want to explain whatT-Ball is.
I don't care.
I don't care it bowl, I don'tcare.
It's got a bowl in it and therewas a T shape.
Great.
Those were kids and then he wasmy coach for that, and then he
was my coach for.
Flag?
No, he wasn't like coach forflag football, but he tried to
give, what the fuck is flagfootball?
(09:50):
It was like beginner football.
Oh, is that what you like?
Instead of like you tacklingsomeone, you just take their
little flag?
Yeah, yeah, Pussy.
But then I went to my first gameand then I got a grass stain,
and then I stopped playingbecause I said I didn't want a
grass stain on my new whitepants.
Period.
As you said, diva, my parentssaid you were gay.
And I wasn't That Isn't thatcrazy?
Crazy work.
Hello?
Isn't it so crazy?
(10:10):
I got a grass stain and Istopped playing football.
Wait, I've always wanted to tellthis story on here.
Okay.
And now I, I have got a reasonto tell this story.
It's time.
High school PE was so crazy'cause I just really wouldn't
participate in it.
And I would like lie about beingsick all the time because I
fucking hated getting changed.
A, in the boys changing room.
Oh yeah.
B.
Participating in the boys sportsbecause they were always like
football or fucking basketballor rugby or.
(10:35):
Tennis was okay.
Annoyed me and I wanted to playgymnastics with the girls.
Did you have cricket in school?
Yeah.
You did cricket.
That's fun.
Yeah, I could play.
Did you play it play cricket?
I used to play cricket with mybrothers.
Cricket feels fun.
So my, in my back, back garden,I feel like it's just such a,
like South Asian sport.
It is, isn't it?
It's such, it's just reallypopular there.
Yeah.
So I feel like, yeah, I justgrew up playing cricket with my
brothers, breaking neighbor'swindows all the time.
(10:56):
That is a, do you use a, do youuse a bat?
Is it kinda like baseball?
It's like baseball, but the batis longer and flat on one side.
Oh, like a paddle kind of.
It's long, right?
Like a sword like, kind of likea sword.
Sword.
Paddle.
Yeah.
Exactly.
yeah, I enjoyed it.
It was a fun sport, but then,but not one had to play it like
(11:17):
competitively in school.
Fuck off, right?
Stop telling me what to do,right?
And get your stinky pits awayfrom me.
Those stinky pits boys, I hatethem.
yeah, I would lie all the time.
And when I like came out and Iwas like, actually like actively
gay.
A actively participating in thegay.
They would try and bully me inschool, in the locker room.
(11:37):
The boys, The boys would try andbully me in the locker room
Yeah.
As boys do.
And they'd be like I don't wannaget changed next to Omar is a
bender.
And I'd be like, I wouldn'twanna look at you if you were
the last piece of shit on theplanet.
I once almost got suspendedbecause I was talking back to
someone in the locker room Ateacher came to walk in and he
was like, both of you out rightnow.
(11:58):
That's, what are you doing?
That's not how you speak topeople.
Yeah.
And I was like, he's literallystarted it.
I dunno what's wrong with you?
I'm really pissed off at thiswhole situation.
I fucking hate pee.
I fucking hate you and I hatesmell.
That's what I have to say aboutthat.
for a year, I think I was likechanging in the.
Staff room.
The staff locker room.
They let you?
They let me.
Yeah.
Huh.
But I was like, I hate it here.
like, I always lied or I waslike, either Skived off.
(12:20):
Didn't go.
Huh?
Played truant.
Skied.
Skived.
Skived too.
Truant.
What are you, you, what do you,what do you call it when you
like miss a class?
Um, Hooky.
Hooky.
Hooky.
Yeah.
You skived off?
Yeah, I skived.
I've never heard that before.
Great.
Okay.
I've never heard hooky.
Yes, you just said it.
Yeah.
'cause of tv.
Skived off.
I like that.
(12:41):
Skived.
Oh, I just would skive all thetime.
or I just would pretend to besick.
So you could say I wasn't thefittest.
Person, but I wasn't in any way.
I was just, I've always justbeen like, good, skinny.
Did you have a gym at yourschool?
Like a fit, like a weight.
Weight, a gym, a weight, weightlifting.
No, that's crazy.
I think that's just Oh, really?
That's an American thing.
We have that.
Yeah, we don't have that.
Oh.
So in our school we had changingrooms and then we have an indoor
(13:03):
gym.
Yeah.
Which you'd use for likebasketball, gymnastics, like a
gymnastics section, a basketballsection.
And then outside gym where you'dhave like football.
Like AstroTurf.
Yeah.
AstroTurf.
Demonic.
A demonic substance.
What do you mean?
AstroTurf?
Yeah.
What about it gets everywhere?
Huh?
AstroTurf gets everywhere.
(13:23):
It's the one with the sand init, so it'd have like sand all
over it.
What they would like?
Resand?
You mean fake grass?
No, no, no, no, No.
Huh?
It was like fake grass, but itwas like sandy.
They would like put asAstroTurf, that's what it was.
But it wouldn't just be likefake grass.
They'd put fucking sand on it.
Oh.
To make it like, I don't know,bouncy or if you fell you
wouldn't hurt yourself as much,but.
(13:45):
Sure you get AstroTurf burnslike crazy.
Sure.
Oh yeah.
Wait.
Yes.
And I remember, I understandyou'd get like AstroTurf in your
socks and shit anyway.
Fucking high school.
Piss me the fuck off.
And so I would get changed inthe staff changing rooms,
obviously when the staff weren'tthere.
'cause that's fucking weird.
And then they'd be like, how canwe help you participate?
Which was really nice actually.
That is, That is progressive forthat time period.
I had, there was a she wasactually the head of our.
(14:07):
Our year group.
So like like each year group hada head, head, head boy, and
head.
Gail?
No.
Had like a head teacher.
Like a teacher.
Oh, like a teacher that wasresponsible for the year group?
Yeah.
And ours was the new, one of thenew PE teachers, Ms.
Watson.
And so, oh, love a female PEteacher.
Love a female PE teacher.
Oh, lesbians.
Yeah.
Love, love her.
Well, She a lesbian, so I don'tknow.
(14:28):
Probably.
I don't know.
And so she basically asked melike, how can we help you
participate in p And I was likefirst of all, I.
I'd wanna die.
But if that's not an option,then I guess integration would
be so nice.
I'm like, all my friends are allthe other girls.
I'm friends with all the girls.
And I hate the fact that I can'tdo sports with my friends.
I fucking hate the boys.
(14:48):
They're all losers.
I.
And they're all losers.
And so I came back to highschool right before my final
year of high school.
They changed the curriculum ofPE so you could integrate.
You got to decide the very firstday of year 11, we got to decide
whether or not we were, we.
We, it was like a category ofsports, so it was like
gymnastics, dance fucking hulahoop or whatever the fuck we
(15:11):
did.
We just did dumb shit.
And then, or you could do like,tennis, tennis rounders oh, girl
sports.
Gay sports.
Men's sports.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Like you could decide which onesyou wanna do, or like, it was
like basketball, football,rugby.
Like you could decide what todo.
There was a lesbian in the highschool.
She chose to do the footballlike.
Yeah, why can't we do that?
Why is that not normal?
Exactly.
No, it was crazy.
'cause you know, you'd getchanged in your own changing
(15:33):
rooms, whatever, and you'd goand play the sports that you
want to play.
Why is this not normal?
And so I was like, oh my God,divas, I'm gonna be like playing
gymnastics and do dance with mylike, did you hula hoop?
I don't know.
I made that up.
It was gymnastics, it was dance.
I can't remember what else itwas.
And then all of a sudden I waslike, yes sir.
I get to do this for the wholewhole year.
And I was so excited about PEagain.
(15:53):
yeah, I would just go and dancearound.
It was so fun.
Why is that not the norm?
I'm trampolining.
I always want to dotrampolining.
Is that a sport?
Yeah we, we had a trampoline.
We would do trampolining.
What's the sport?
Trampolining.
But what do you do?
Jump around.
Like in, yeah, everyone wouldhave a go in a, for you just
jump around.
It was like an actual, actualtrampoline.
(16:14):
Not like a fucking, not the onethat you have in like your
backyard.
In your backyard.
Yeah.
Not one of those ones.
It was like a full rectangularlong.
What would you do, liketrampoline?
you would do routines.
Oh, routines.
Okay.
You like, do now do a frontflip.
Do a back flip.
Okay.
Do like a little thingy whereyou Good.
Do like a sit where you can do asit, like jump, jump, sit, and
then stand up again.
Yeah, it was good.
That's so dumb.
I wish like we had that was goodenough.
(16:35):
Anyway, and then I loved it andthen I was like, Ugh, fitness,
love that.
turns out actually like being ina setting where you actually
enjoy the people and the sportitself makes you wanna do it.
You know what's interesting?
We didn't have.
you could play sports, but youdidn't have to choose a sport.
You would just go to pe, whichwas just like a general like run
(16:56):
around the room for a coupletimes, do some sit ups.
That's crazy because that'scrazy because our PE teachers
would like create a, like aplan, like a day, what we gonna
do?
So for example, oh really?
Like the boys, for example, inthe September to December
months, they would play outdoorseSports, but then in January
came around, they would goinside and play like basketball
inside and then they would dolike January to like March.
(17:19):
They'd play like mm-hmm.
indoor sports.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, and we'd have like track,but like more so like the track
relay race.
Oh, and rounders.
Rounders, huh?
That's that's like a really gayversion of baseball Rounders uk.
Yeah, and it's like, sounds likeyou have a bat, but it's not
like a baseball bat.
It's like a smaller bat than abaseball bat.
(17:39):
We love bats.
We love bats, but it's rounders.
It's like baseball.
But it's so gay and it's reallylike, it's really fun and like
fast and okay.
Only the girls played it until Ijoined the team and it was like,
okay, slay.
The gay has arrived.
It was so fun.
No, we didn't have a sports likethat.
We just played, we did a mileruns.
(18:00):
Did you do a mile run?
No.
See how many, how long takes torun a mile.
Do you ever have to do what werethey called?
Like a sports.
Do you have a sports day?
Every year we'd have a sportsday.
What do you mean?
And like yet everyone would haveto participate in something.
No, we had Farm Day.
Okay.
What have I told you about that?
What the fuck is Farm day?
Yeah, we had a farm day.
Tell me, I don't know anythingabout this.
(18:21):
So we had a wait.
Oh my God.
Sometimes I think we've told youeach that everything, there's
nothing that can, there'snothing you can possibly say
that's gonna make me.
Stumped.
It's gonna stump me.
We had a farm on our school, soour school had a farm.
Okay.
Our school had a farm, and youcould take ag classes.
Agricultural classes.
Oh, that's useful.
Like you could, if you wanted tobe a farmer, you could take
(18:43):
classes to become a farmer.
That's useful.
Yeah.
It's good for people in NorthCarolina.
There are tech pros out there.
Someone get on the fucking farm.
Exactly.
But then we would have a farmday, one day, A year, a
semester, Where you could bringyour animals from home.
To school what?
Into like a petting zoo kind ofthing?
so people would ride horses,shut up, shut up to school, shut
(19:06):
up and put them in the farm inlike the zoo petting zoo area or
whatever.
We have.
Shut up.
Sports people would bring theirdogs, their cats, their pigs,
their horses, their, they didn'tbring cows.
Maybe they brought cows.
Actually, people from farmsbrought cows.
If you were in, in a farmingfamily, you could bring your.
Animal.
That is crazy.
(19:26):
So then everyone from theschool, what did you bring?
What did you bring?
I didn't bring anything.
It's Did you have toy day?
Like everyone, lets bring in atoy.
No, we had gender bending day.
I'm sorry, what?
You know, Spirit days.
What Spirit days?
Yeah.
Like you've seen this on TV I'msure, where like it's like a
week full of like, I think it'swhen the homecoming is when like
the last football game is, no,this country's crazy.
(19:48):
And then you have different daysthat are different themes.
No, and one of the themes, Idon't know if they still do it,
probably don't because it wasvery problematic, is gender
bending day.
I don't know if it was calledthat.
It was like gender swap day orsomething where you would dress
as a boy or a girl.
If you're a boy or a girl.
That's crazy.
Man to woman or woman to man.
Oh my God, that's wild.
Oh my God.
Yeah, we would have that.
Wait, how progressive of youguys I.
(20:08):
Uh, I don't know if it wasprogressive.
That's crazy, dude.
Um, Yeah, we had that, we hadFarm Day.
We did not have a toy day,whatever that was called.
Gender bending day.
That's cra that's a crazy thingto say.
You've never seen that.
It's like a bi, it's like a No,I've never seen that.
I had Toy Day and that and WorldBook Day.
We had book day.
Yeah, we had book day where theScholastic book Fair would come
and, oh, this is my favoriteday.
'cause I was a.
(20:28):
Fucking nerd.
Then we would go, the book fairwould come Scholastic Scholastic
book Fair Book Fair.
Where the people would come withthe books and you would go and
get the best books.
Scholastic.
Scholastic.
Tell me that.
Like scholar, okay.
Scholastic.
I don't know if that's actuallya word.
Fucking losers.
Whatever.
It would be like, it would belike a book fair where so the
loser Brigade would come withtheir loser.
Yes.
Yes, me and my Battle of theBooks team would go and we would
(20:50):
go, I'm sorry, what I've toldyou about that.
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck?
Farm Day battle of the booksI've told you about.
Battle of the Books.
Next, you're gonna say that youwere in the Glee Club, which you
were.
You know what you were gettinginto.
Fucking Loser.
Oh my God.
Sometimes I'm like, who did Imarry?
I have the ick.
Do you know what?
Cancel, cancel.
No this, this show's canceled.
(21:11):
Wait, lemme tell you about,about the books.
Lemme tell you about Battle ofthe Books.
What is this episode about?
It was about fitness, but nowit's about books.
Battle of the Books was a veryimportant part of my life'cause
it taught me about reading.
Actually I was a big nerd beforethen, but it like enhanced my
love for reading.
You would in middle school, wewould get like a list of books
that we would have to read forlike the semester and at the end
we would go to like.
a competition with the otherschools where there would be
(21:33):
judges and they would ask youquestions about each of the
books.
That's fun.
Fun.
And you have to know the answersabout them.
Yeah.
That's fun.
So you need to know thesynopsis.
You need to know the plot.
You need to know readingcomprehension.
You need to know that.
Just comprehension.
Yeah.
But you would need to know, likewe would have that in English,
like that would be part of acurriculum.
Exactly.
But it was like you had to read20 books.
But you're like doing itcompetitively.
Yes.
Competitively.
Because you're, yeah, I was anerd.
Yeah.
(21:54):
We got really far.
That was really good.
I will say that's really crazy.
So when would you say youactually got into health and
wellness and fitness?
And I feel like I just didn't, Ididn't until I came back from
traveling way after university.
One of my roommates at uni, hewas super into the gym and was
he hot?
No damn.
(22:15):
Sorry.
Good body.
Okay.
Body was T that counts He wouldonly talk about like taking
creatine and supplements and I'dbe like.
Okay, but like, have you seenhow nice my hair looks today?
Is this the guy that you tookpre-workout with before you went
that one time?
Yes, I did do that one time.
I know that story exactly.
Okay.
I guess my first time takingpre-workout, I was so tired, but
I was like, I have to go on anight out.
I have to get ready and I haveto go party with the divas, but
(22:37):
I'm a little hungover.
By this point of the podcast,you should by now have grasped
that I was a fucking crazyperson growing up.
Still are little bit of a partyfreak.
Yeah.
And I um, just couldn't say noto a good night out, but I was
like so, so tired was like, oh,you have this like pre-workout,
(22:58):
mix it with water and drink it.
It'll give you energy.
And I was like, that soundsamazing.
Let me try that.
And the name pre-workout didn'treally like trigger anything.
Yeah.
I'm about to go like dancearound.
Perfect.
And then I drank it and I waslike.
I obviously,'cause I was likestationary, I didn't move.
'cause when you take for yourworkout, you have to like move
'cause you get like, yeah.
You know your body.
It's doing something to yourbody.
(23:18):
It's not doing anything.
No, I know.
It turns out uh, no, it's likemaking your, like it makes me,
my skin like itchy and like abit tingly.
Yeah.
And so I was like, I feel crazy.
And then I like got in theshower'cause I was like, I need
to like scrub this off of myskin'cause this feels crazy.
I mean, it woke me up.
So then I went out and had agreat time.
Great.
You didn't want to get like aRed Bull?
No.
I dunno.
I didn't think about that.
(23:39):
Yeah.
Uni, I never worked out.
I really just didn't.
Didn't, and like, I feel likefitness culture wasn't really
that huge.
'cause of social media.
Oh, totally.
Which, just getting started onsocial media and like, I think,
what was I just on Instagram inmy, like second year of uni?
Yeah.
No one was posting thirst strapsthere yet.
No.
Yeah.
No one was posting like, no, Iwas just on Instagram.
Like you were taking pictures oflike a a coffee.
(24:01):
latte art.
And then that's it.
That was what Instagram was.
And I feel like fitness, culturein the way that I guess is so
domineering over our lives rightnow is truly because of social
media.
yeah, I came back from travelingafter a year away.
I think that was the first timeI went to the gym.
I joined the gym.
I was like seeing this loser.
But he had great body.
And I was like, let me try anddo that too.
And then, yeah, I started goingto the gym and then I started
(24:24):
like seeing all these men on myInstagram all of a sudden.
And I was like, oh my God, wait.
Men are hot.
I want have, I wanted absbefore?
Never.
But now I do.
Yeah.
And I'm like, what?
23 already?
Yeah.
You look at 23 year olds now.
Fucking hell look my age.
They're crazy, but they'rejacked.
They're ripped.
Ripped.
How do you get like that?
Sometimes you'll see someonelike, you'll scroll TikTok, and
(24:44):
you'll see someone who's like.
Fucking hell.
I do think also the usage ofsteroids is more prevalent than
we like to think.
Yeah.
We like to think that everyoneis like natural and they like,
no.
I know They don't like thatbecause they worked hard.
They now'cause they're onsteroids.
No, it's crazy.
How many people are on steroids?
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Lot of gay men.
It's Yes.
A lot of gay men.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's like a big thing.
body image.
(25:05):
Body image.
We'll talk about that.
No.
Have you ever wanted to on RosRoids?
No.
I just think it's crazy becausein my mind I'm like, if I can't
obtain something naturally, Ijust don't care about it.
But I know the negatives of thesteroids.
Right?
Totally.
you go bald.
Oh yeah.
Ew.
Yeah.
You can tell, you get acne, youget back knee.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, No.
I'm not getting back acne so Ican have abs just read me
before, like my hair is like myprice possession.
I'm not doing anything to damagethat.
(25:26):
Literally, who's gonna beinterested in me if I have acne?
Nobody.
Not you.
Not me.
Not I for sure.
I'm teetering on the edgewhether or not I am because of
everything you just said aboutyour book nerd thing.
Shut up.
So anyway, so you startedworking out Then I started going
to the gym.
No, I started going to gym.
Oh, going to the gym.
Different what?
I knew what I was doing.
Oh, I didn't, yeah, I didn'treally start.
what I was doing.
(25:47):
The thing is my brother had agym membership and then I like
when I was like at home for acouple months before I moved to
Berlin, I would like just liketake his membership and just go
to the gym and pretend to be himand do what I really don't know,
like ab work workout.
I would like go on theelliptical, like not the
elliptical.
I didn't do, I really didn'tknow what to do, not the
elliptical.
And then again, I'm gonna likereally speed through this'cause
(26:08):
this is really just not thatinteresting Move to Berlin.
Started going to the gym morefrequently.
I met you at the gym.
That's how crazy like gymculture was.
it wasn't until I made guyfriends in Berlin, but they were
all straight.
All of my guy friends werestraight in Berlin.
It was like my girlfriend'sboyfriends.
And I started becoming closewith them and then.
I started going to the gym withone of them and then he was like
showing me things.
Mm-hmm.
He'd be like showing me what todo for like this workout or that
(26:29):
workout and that's when Istarted doing things.
Mm-hmm.
For the first time ever.
Not properly, like not well,but, and also I wasn't eating
properly at all also.
You've heard I was partying allthe time, so it was no positive
effect of me going to the gymever, other than the fact I said
I was going to the gym.
Right, right.
And I met you and you met me.
Without the gym, we wouldn't betogether.
That isn't that lovely.
I think I started working outregularly when I moved to
(26:51):
Berlin, honestly, I didn'treally understand what I was
doing until like maybe in thepast two years have actually
clicked in my head what to do.
And a lot of that's because ofTikTok.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not gonna lie.
I know learning about, like itwas harder to find information
about working out on socialmedia.
Back in 2017.
Yeah, 2016.
I feel like I always have theselike moments when whenever we've
(27:11):
gone on trips together.
And I like used to take photosand see like, see how I looked
and I'd be like, I'm not reallysatisfied with my progress so
far.
Mm-hmm.
And I like would be like, now Ineed to commit even further as
soon as I go back and, and thenI'd do that a couple times in a
row.
Mm-hmm.
A couple years went by and thenI'd be like, okay, now I need to
like really get into it.
And then covid happened and itall went to shit.
Before Covid, we were lookinggood.
(27:33):
We look back on pictures ofourselves and I was like, I was
actually skinny.
Not really muscly.
Oh, I didn't even talk about myberries phase.
Oh my God, that was crazy.
My big berry phase.
Oh yeah, you were insane.
Like I go to berries nowsometimes like maybe once or
twice a week, just depending,but like when 20.
1818.
2018.
2019.
Because you did like apartnership with'em, so you got
like free berries and you wouldgo all the time.
(27:54):
Right.
I feel like,'cause you didn'thave I had a job that I went to,
so I had my friends there.
Yeah.
I was trying to make friendsmade friends with all of the
Barry crew losers who arefucking.
Lame.
Sorry.
I don't give a fuck.
You're, oh, I don't care.
It was just like that, that likethe culture, the fitness
culture.
at the time, I don't think it isthat much right now.
'cause like we go to Barry's nowand I just don't think it's that
crazy.
(28:14):
Yeah.
As it used to be.
But the whole like hashtagFitFam thing give me a fucking
knife so I can slit my ownthroat.
Like, That is so annoying.
I was in the FitFam.
That is, I was a FI was, I was afounding member of a FitFam.
That is crazy.
I was so into the cult.
Yeah, it, it was called Cold.
So it was such a cult.
Uh, I would go to Barry's at5:00 AM I would go to like the
5:00 AM class, hideous for noreason.
(28:35):
No.
Did I have a job to go to?
No.
I was an influencer.
What the fuck was I doing?
Going bears at 5:00 AM I wouldsometimes go double days.
Like I would go again at four,three work.
'cause you wanted to look likeall these new people that you
were surrounding.
I wanted to look like them sobad, but I didn't realize that
doing that much cardio and doing15 mile an hour fucking sprints
without eating properly.
I wasn't eating, I wasn't likefueling my body properly.
(28:57):
I was just getting skinnier andskinnier.
You could see like all myfucking ribs.
I had muscles.
Yeah.
I mean, Your abs were like, myabs were popping aing, but this
was because it was nothing else.
But I look skeletal.
Yeah.
I was really skinny and like mybody frame I feel like looks
good with a little bit moremuscle on and a little bit more.
Meat on my bones.
Meat.
We love meat.
We love meat on my bones.
We love meat.
(29:17):
Uh, We love meat on your bones.
I do.
I look better now that I havesome fucking meat on my bones in
my mind.
I can't tell, I can't tell.
When you gained weight, like youlook filled out.
I look at photos of you from 20,I guess 19.
Even like right before thepandemic and when we were like,
into the fitness culture a lot.
Mm-hmm.
And I think we were on a reallygood trajectory to like mm-hmm.
be Fit and healthy.
(29:38):
We were also vegan for threeyears.
Yeah, we were vegan.
That was crazy.
And that kind of, oh, we couldtalk, talk about that.
We should do another episode onthe Yeah, that is crazy.
That was crazy indoctrination.
Oh, we were really in, wait.
We were really susceptible toindoctrination from multiple
sources.
Brought the berries cult andthen the veganism.
I think generally we're kind ofsusceptible.
(30:01):
No, I mean, I just feel likethere's lots of forces at play.
I think I filled out through thepandemic'cause during the
pandemic we wanna talk aboutbody image.
The most depressed I've everbeen, because we were stuck in
Canada, we were in Canada forthe pandemic, so we could not
actually leave the country.
We weren't permanent residents,forced citizens close for
fucking eight months at a time.
And the gyms were closed forlike yeah, a.
(30:21):
Year, I think the gyms wereclosed.
You couldn't do anything.
You could only work out in yourliving room or workout outside.
But in Toronto, the winter isfrom fucking November to May.
So you can't really work outoutside during those periods.
I mean, I remember the firstweek we were like moving the
couch and we would like put oneof the fitness instructors lives
on Instagram live and tether itto the TV and be like, this is
(30:41):
really fun.
Let's cute for a second.
I love jumping around my livingroom.
The ceiling is not low at all.
I was like, why don't we justbuy like a, we fit.
That was actually the beginningof my body image issues that I'm
not gonna lie.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I'm going to blame.
We fit.
I'm gonna blame Nintendo as acompany for starting my body
image issues, making me step upand step down and step up and
step down.
(31:01):
Say that I'm obese at thebeginning and say I weighed more
at the end of that workout.
That's crazy.
It is like you are more obesenow.
Go check with a doctor.
Oh my God.
Or do yoga on this.
We fit board crazy.
Oh, through covid.
Oh, I had another idea.
Oh wait, I need to finish mythought.
Yeah, go hold that.
Hold that one.
Hold that thought.
But my idea.
No, hold your thought.
Through COVID.
It was really depressing, so Iate a lot of talkies and drank a
(31:24):
lot of wine, specifically wineand talkies.
I gained a lot of weight duringcovid.
Do you know how much you weighedat your like peak?
I think actually over 200.
You were like, whoa, I think itwas like 200 or over.
Not of muscle, like of fat.
Yeah.
that was in the era of big bodypositivity and I was trying to
(31:45):
like, make myself feel better bybeing like, I feel great in this
body and I, I feel like I look,I feel good.
I didn't actually feel thatgood.
Yeah.
'cause I wasn't a doing anythingnutritionally well for my body.
I wasn't working out, I wasn'tmoving my body, I was moving my
body wrong if I was working out.
I'm just like, I was kind oflying to myself that I was happy
where I was, I was, and fitnesspeople like right now, like when
you thought, when you think,when you think about like
(32:06):
fitness or like body scams.
I feel like the body positivitymovement itself is and was like
a little bit toxic.
I agree.
And like slightly I'm trying totread lightly here, at the same
time as you being.
Again, having gained a littlebit more weight from the
pandemic, at the same time, it'sokay to maybe take steps to feel
better in yourself.
(32:27):
'cause truthfully you didn'tfeel good.
I didn't feel good.
I was drinking so much.
I look back at photos of myselffrom that time and my face was
so puff, my face's face was likedouble the size.
Yeah.
That's why I had ozempicallegations.
Oh.
Two years.
We could talk about that.
Fucking hell.
First of all, you just remindedme of when you first noticed.
Nintendo called you a big fatty.
Mm-hmm.
(32:47):
I just remembered that if in myhouse, ski grope in a South
Asian household either your momor your auntie is gonna be like,
oh, you should have more food.
And if you help yourself to somemore food, they'd be like, oh,
you're having another serving?
And I'm like, hello?
Oh, fuck me.
Excuse me.
Oh, fuck me that you told me toeat more.
Literally.
Oh, you're gonna have another,you gonna have another non, are
(33:08):
you gonna have another roti?
Oh.
I'll just go kill myself.
Didn't your mom also doesn'tyour mom also, if someone's like
bigger, they call, she calls herhealthy.
She calls them healthy.
Yeah.
My mom is like, okay.
She's describing a friend ofmine or someone that we know.
She's like, oh, that healthyone.
But she means she means healthy.
She means a little bit,chunkier, but then shames you
(33:29):
for eating an extra non shames.
She seems shame so much, like Ithink now too, me and my
brothers grew up like reallyskinny.
Like we were just like generallylike very slim.
And so she'd just want us to eatmore.
But then that was the worstpart.
'cause she'd be like, you looktoo skinny.
You need to eat more food.
You need to eat more food.
And she's just been saying thatlike our whole lives, yeah, you
look weak, you should eat more.
(33:50):
And I'm like, can you shut up?
Yeah.
Literally.
Literally.
Can you shut up now?
Look at you.
You're not weak.
You're strong.
I'm strong.
This is the first time you'veever like looked like beefy
again, because I actuallyparticipated in learning
education.
It's the nutrients, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's more so the like, theworkouts are one thing, but like
the nutrients are really, I feellike yeah.
(34:10):
Pandemic happened.
I like really fell off of myfitness.
Yeah.
Journey and then like as soon asthe gyms opened up again, we
were like going to the gym.
Mm-hmm.
TikTok helped by like, I thinktwo, I guess two years ago when
I was like first seeing.
Workout videos for differentmuscle groups.
And like TikTok was really likethriving.
Mm-hmm.
Two, three years ago.
And so I was like saving thesevideos and then doing these
(34:30):
workouts at the gym for thefirst time.
Like I'm gonna do like a chestday and then a back day, and
then like a leg day.
Yeah.
And then, and now I have like, Igo to the gym four or five times
a week, and then I go to Barry'sand Solid core here and there.
Yeah.
And like I just feel like I'vegot a good rhythm going, but I
wouldn't know how to do any ofthat.
And I wouldn't know what to doif it wasn't for the fucking
internet and TikTok and thesegym bros.
(34:50):
Yeah.
and actually know the gym guys.
I don't listen to boys when itcomes to life.
Some of the boys are good, someof the no, no.
You I do boys workouts for upperbody, but I do the girls
workouts for, yeah, lower body'cause.
the body is tea, but some of thestraight men on there are very
comforting for me.
Like Some of them are annoying.
I, no, I have them.
I have them.
They're saved.
Everyone's saved most of thestraight men for like nutrients.
Like they know about the proteinand the foods.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(35:11):
Yeah.
And they do a How would you haveknown about creatine monohydrate
if it wasn't for.
one of the boys, the girliesknow how to make the craziest
protein meals.
Yeah, Yeah.
Protein based meals.
the cottage cheese cookie dough.
Crazy cottage cheese pizza.
I'm not doing cottage cheese.
Did you see there was a videothat came up on my TikTok before
this girl had made a pizza withchicken as the crust.
(35:32):
Oh, that chicken as the crustnow.
That is excellent.
Well Then you just.
What you grind?
You blend up the chicken, grindup the chicken bones in like a
mixer.
Yeah.
Um, You grind up the chicken,right?
Sure.
And then you put flour.
I don't assume know.
Okay.
I dunno.
I didn't watch it.
Oh, you okay?
She, I saw chicken, pizza,crust, and I was like, next I
could do that next.
That's crazy.
(35:52):
What's wrong?
I don't know.
It was a bit crazy.
It's just the high pitch.
Anyway, fuck me.
Thank God for TikTok.
Thank God for TikTok.
And then I feel like because ofthe last.
I saw it like, oh, this is goingto, this is going to ruffle a
feather or two, but I did haveslight more weight than I wanted
to like two years ago.
No, I didn't take Ozempic.
Fuck me.
(36:13):
There is like online forumsabout us and there is Ozempic
allegations.
It's a forum.
People need to know about theforum.
No.
Don't they know about it?
People know about it.
No.
Nobody needs to know about theforum.
People know about it.
One needs to about, it's acommon thing.
Everyone knows about it.
Don't say the word.
Don't say the words.
You know the form if you knowit.
Don't say the words, but youknow what form it is.
And also like, in my mind I waslike, so when I found out that
it existed and we were like onit, yeah.
(36:33):
I was like, obsessively likelooking.
'cause I'm like, people aretalking about us and people are
talking about our bodies.
Yeah.
And I'm like, really?
I'm like ashamed orobjectifying.
I know.
I'm like ashamed.
I say the weirdest shit and I'm,I'm like, I'm disgusted.
Yeah.
I feel violated a little bit,but also kind of obsessed.
No, I don't do it anymore.
I was obsessed.
I will, you still look at itSometimes.
I'm interested in what peopleare saying.
Don't ever send it to me.
I refuse to know what anyone'ssaying about me.
(36:54):
'cause in my mind I'm like, whydo I care what people are saying
about me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally.
I don't know that you exist so,sorry.
I'm not, I'm not listening towhat you say.
No, I don't care.
I find it like a little bitdisturbing and like a little bit
upsetting that people are havingthese conversations about.
Us and our bodies online.
Yeah, I think it's fucked up.
Anyway, I was Mpic allegationswith one of them, which is
fucked up.
(37:15):
And also one of my friend'sfriends, one of my friend's, I
think sister said that shethought iHeart was on I pic.
Yeah.
And I was like, bitch, when?
Like I wasn't even big.
You did lose weight fast though.
It's'cause I stopped eating.
You wouldn't calor, you wouldn'tAn extreme calor.
Literally, in my mind, I'm like,if I can be obsessive about
something, like if I am my A DHADHD brain is gonna like really
(37:36):
fixate on one thing.
Yeah.
It's gonna be this one thing.
And I would allow myself if Ihave this goal, I track my
macros for the first time.
This was like a, maybe a yearand a half ago, and I was like,
okay, maybe I wanna like lose alittle bit of like weight before
I start gaining muscle.
Mm-hmm.
Lose some fat before I gainmuscle.
I dunno if that was the rightway to go about it.
'cause I've always been likeskinny and then maybe there was
like a little bit of like skinnyfat involved just because of my
(37:57):
diet.
And then I started like cuttingout so much stuff and then I
would eat like a fuckingtoddler.
Last year, maybe like thebeginning of last year a little
bit.
And then I got a little bitobsessed.
With it.
And then I was going out so muchat the beginning of last, like
this time last year, and I justlike really wasn't dieting
properly, but I looked snatched.
Yeah, crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I look back at photos and I'mlike, I do look really skinny.
(38:19):
Yeah.
Because now I've, since then, Ijust focus on eating more
protein.
I'm like actually like hittingmy like goals and like.
just prioritizing nutrition in amore healthy but also long
lasting way.
Well, Yeah.
So like the extreme caloricdeficit you were doing, why am I
on that for five months?
You only supposed to do, ifyou're gonna do like something
like that, you're supposed toonly do it for like a month and
(38:41):
a half or two months max, twomonths max.
your body will start eating yourmuscle.
Yeah.
And you don't want that.
In the spirit of being open andjust transparent.
Transparent, that's what I wannasay.
That's the word.
I want to share this informationwith everyone because.
If this is a podcast where wetalk about shit like is, is as
if you're a friend, you're satwith us and we're having these
(39:02):
open discussions.
Sometimes they're a little bitdifficult to say and even to
hear, and I think sometimes Idon't share these things.
Publicly.
If I'm like on Instagram orwhatever, I might talk about
them with my friends all thetime.
I don't speak these words aloud.
This is why I think we wanted tocreate this podcast to begin
with, is to have open dialogueabout things that maybe we
(39:22):
wouldn't like make a TikTokvideo on, or maybe I wouldn't
post an Instagram story on, Iwas eating like a fucking baby
rabbit.
I lost a lot of weight.
I was parting like a crazyperson.
I looked snatched like, fuck.
My mental health was a littlebit of a low.
I was also navigating like newsocial dynamics for the first
time.
Mm-hmm.
Like moving into the city.
Also, this is the first placeI've lived where I've been
surrounded by gay men.
(39:43):
Specifically San Francisco issuch a male, gay, male dominated
city, and I'm surrounded by allthese men like, you look a
certain way, you look a certainway, and it's just like, how do
I fit into that culture?
And also being here and likelast year, this was going
through my mind a lot.
I feel like San Francisco is notthe most diverse place.
There are pockets of diversity,but I feel like the city itself,
(40:06):
especially the Castro, isn'tvery diverse.
So I found myself in a spacelast year where I was trying to
figure out myself, my body, myimage, and how that related to
being here and surrounded by allthese people.
Huh.
Thanks for coming to my fuckingTed Talk.
Welcome.
as like people on the internet,we've gone through different
phases in our life and sometimeswe're talking about different
(40:28):
things.
Like I was talking about bodypositivity in 2020.
Now I'm like, I was fuck that,fuck that.
I did not actually feel good andI'm going through these
processes myself and that's okayfor us to share.
That's, this is what thispodcast is for us to share what
we're feeling right now in thismoment.
Yeah.
And I'm feeling really good inmy body.
I'm feeling great.
I'm feeling strong.
(40:48):
A I'm feeling strong.
And that's the best thing.
And that's the best part.
Strong, right?
It's not about what I look andlike Strong.
Strong.
Yeah.
It's like that.
It's not about how I look andlike, yeah, sure, I want fucking
abs and I wanna look good and Iwanna look beefy.
I have a body type that I'mtrying to aspire to.
Sure, that's fine.
But that was a choice that Imade, not a choice that.
That's not like pressure fromlike social media or pressure
from anyone else.
That is how I wanna look, andI'm working towards that.
(41:10):
But most importantly, I feelstrong and I feel healthy.
And what I'm eating is good.
And that's the goal.
My workouts are good.
And that's the goal.
And that's the goal and that'sthe goal.
And if the end product is, youlook like one of these fucking
guys on my discovery page onInstagram.
Fantastic.
And I think that's like the maintakeaway is that like.
When we've been going throughthese like journeys of self
discovery when it comes to likefitness and working out and like
(41:32):
body image and stuff, have youfelt healthy?
Have you felt fit?
Have you felt strong?
The answer is most of the timehas been no.
Until very recently.
I can look at the mirror and I'mlike, sure.
My abs aren't showing as much asthey did last year when I was
literally eating the diet of alike a literal rabbit.
Yeah.
do you remember there was likeone moment I remember.
I remember it very vividly.
We were in the Whole Foods andthere was like free cheese
(41:52):
samples and I was like, I can'teat, I can't have one cube.
I was like, oh my god, freecheese.
Let's have a like a slightcheese.
And I was like, no.
It was the tiniest little blockof cheese.
Can't over my caloric intake forthe day.
And you said no, no.
I was like, just have a block ofcheese.
And you said nar.
No.
Isn't that crazy?
That's crazy.
That is really crazy.
Eating disorders happen.
Eating disorders do happen.
(42:13):
That's fine.
And in my mind, I don't think Ilike had, I mean that, that is
disordered eating.
That is like full.
Yeah full, full hand on heart.
That is disordered eating ahundred percent.
But it's about your relationshipwith food back then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That a year ago you did not havea good relationship with food.
No.
You've improved yourrelationship with food a lot.
Yeah.
Because you will.
What changed?
I don't know.
I think it just had a little,like a little bit of a wake up
(42:34):
call where I.
Realize it just was notsustainable.
It's not a sustainable way ofexisting.
Yeah.
And I felt tired all the time.
Yeah.
And also there was a moment, Ithink this was my like breaking
point where I was like.
My hair health, like nutritionand like hormones have so much
to do with your, like the healthof your like body and like your
skin and your hair.
(42:54):
And I was like, my hair feels sodry.
Yeah.
And it took me a really longtime to figure out why my hair,
my skin, it was just like, I'mlike crusting and falling apart.
And I was like, oh, my nutritionis.
Abysmal.
Yeah.
And I think it was the end ofthe summer last year where I was
like, oh my God, I need to makea change.
And I was just like, let me eatthe right types of food again.
(43:15):
And because I think I wastracking things, so to the tea,
I now know like how much proteinI need to eat.
Like I don't track my caloriesat all anymore.
I like, I'll have my meal plansand like set, set foods I want
to eat and then make sure I'mjust hitting my protein goal.
Do you sometimes miss the dayswhen you didn't know what a
calorie was?
(43:36):
Yeah, because I do.
Yeah, because when I go to thestore and I look the like aisle
of Oreos, I know how manycalories are in one Oreo now?
No.
It's crazy and hurts me.
And we, and when we were veganand we could only eat Oreos, we
would eat a packet.
for like a whole packet a wholepacket after dinner.
After dinner with two bottles ofwine.
That's like over a thousanddollars.
Do you know how many bottles ofwine?
(43:56):
I used to go through a day.
Oh, that's the wine.
The guy at the wine shop next toour apartment knew me by name.
Ugh.
And then once when we, I thinkwe were like away for a bit when
we first could travel, he waslike, where have you been?
My number one customer?
That's what, know it always hadmy like two bottles of rose like
waiting for me.
would be good to live inignorance, but now as soon as
you learn what a calorie is, assoon as you learn what a macro
is, you can't go back.
I think as well, like I'm inthis stage of my life now where
(44:18):
like I really do value.
The types of food I put in my,like a hundred percent.
I know I'm going to Chili's likesometimes, like I will once in a
blue moon obviously go and havea little shitty meal just
because it feels good and like Ican do what I want.
But you also know now how thatfits into your larger goals.
Totally.
Because you can fit these meals.
We're gonna the CheesecakeFactory later.
You can fit these meals.
(44:38):
Why are we going to theCheesecake Factory?
Not my choice.
We can fit those meals thoughinto our larger caloric goals.
Yeah.
'cause it is a big part of ourlives.
So like I know how many caloriesI am eating in a day right now
because I'm tracking my macroscurrently.
You don't have to, but I knowhow I can fit some macaroni
balls from Cheesecake Factoryinto there.
Crazy work.
Well, Yeah, that was fuckinggreat.
(45:00):
I love that.
I was like, we covered a lot oftopics from Battle of the Books
to Macaroni Balls.
I thought you were gonna saybowel movements.
That too.
I'm not quite, that is a bigpart of health and fitness.
Oh my God.
The company.
This is a dis, this is adysentery outbreak right now.
Yeah.
Listen, I'm not talking aboutdysentery.
That's crazy.
That is wild.
This we can have another wholeNo, we're not episode.
(45:21):
No, we're no.
We're not on infectiousdiseases.
Oh my God.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode.
If you wanna rate us on ApplePodcasts, we would love that.
If you want to.
Subscribe on all of our varioussocial channels.
We would also love that.
Please do and rate us.
Don't hate us.
Never hate us.
Bye.
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