Overcoming Childhood Trauma, Embracing Vulnerability, and Redefining Success

What if the key to becoming the hero you always needed lies hidden in the shadows of your past?

Join Tyler and me as we unravel the profound influence of childhood trauma and vulnerability on our adult lives. We share personal stories of overcoming insecurities, navigating complex family dynamics, and the relentless pursuit of success against the odds. Tyler opens up about his journey from a troubled childhood to standing firm against injustice today, highlighting the strength found in vulnerability and the importance of breaking generational cycles of trauma.

Throughout our conversation, we explore the complexities of growing up with a parent behind bars and the societal stigmas that accompany such experiences. Tyler reflects on how his father’s incarceration shaped his life, while I share my own struggle with family secrets and the journey toward healing. By unpacking these challenging experiences, we emphasize the power of sharing our stories to inspire resilience and foster a sense of community. The discussion moves toward the transformative effect of leading with vulnerability, urging listeners to align personal success with impactful service.

As we navigate these emotional landscapes, we explore the idea that true fulfillment extends beyond financial success, touching on the importance of community impact and the pursuit of happiness. Drawing inspiration from Tyler’s journey and stories like that of Scott Neeson, who traded Hollywood fame for humanitarian work, we challenge conventional narratives of success. This episode serves as a powerful reminder that the essence of life lies in service to others, and that personal growth often emerges from overcoming adversity.

This podcast dives deep into real, raw topics—think vulnerability, triggers, and childhood trauma. But just so we're super clear: I’m not a licensed therapist, mental health professional, or anything close. I’m just a human sharing stories, lessons, and life hacks based on personal experience and a whole lot of curiosity.

So, while you might find some golden nuggets here, this is not therapy and should never replace professional mental health care. If you or someone you love is going through it, please—seriously—reach out to a licensed therapist or healthcare provider. You deserve the real deal.

Need Help Now?
Here are a few amazing resources:

· 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Call or text 988
· NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or nami.org/help
· Therapy Directory: psychologytoday.com
· Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

The opinions expressed on this show are ours and ours alone—no official organizations are responsible for what we say (or how much we overshare).

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the let's Get Naked podcast Today.
I'm very excited to be gettingnaked with Tyler.
I'm not going to give any otherintroduction besides his first
name.
You can figure him out laterand Google all what he brings to
the table.
But he came in hot this morningwith some stuff that's going on
in his life and we were alreadystarting to talk about it, and
so I just wanted to get rightinto that.

(00:21):
So welcome, tyler.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Yeah thank you, yeah, so glad.
Yeah, yeah, so I just walked inthe door from the street.
That's why there's nointroduction.
Exactly, exactly, right.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Exactly so Tyler and I were talking about, you know,
kind of small businesses andsome of the work that Tyler does
and maybe you can share alittle bit about that and then
we can talk about you know, someof the stuff that we were just
talking about prior to startingto record, and then we'll get
into some of the deeper stuffafter that.
But I think this is really goodcontent for what we deal with
on a day-to-day and what kind ofour missions are and how you do

(00:52):
get kind of kicked down alittle bit and stuff and start
to question yourself when thosethings happen.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, you know, like you've actually had me thinking
a lot more about this.
You know, lately in in likesome of the content that you've
been discussing and artists,conversations and stuff, and
it's like it all does go back toyouth, right, like a lot of
your issues, a lot of thingsthat are a chip on your shoulder
.
You know, I've been thinkingabout like that this morning and
it's about being vulnerable andI've told you I'm willing to be

(01:18):
vulnerable, like there hasn'talways been moments that I'm
proud of myself, right, andthere's moments like in your
youth, you know, it's like youalways see those stories.
It's like I stood up to the badguy.
You know, at 14 years old, thisstepdad I had a horrible stepdad
, you know, but he was a fuckingmonster looking guy 250 pounds,
jagged teeth, hands like ovenmitts I'm not even kidding you,

(01:40):
you know, and I would stand upto him verbally in some ways.
But you know, like you seethose Saturday afternoon
specials and it's like theyalways are be able to be their
hero.
You know, it's like and so like, but 110 pounds, you know, like
five foot tall.
You know it's like it wasn'talways easy to be the hero.
Or you know, like in my youthwatching and it still draws a

(02:00):
memory I'm such an animal loverwatching these kids drown a
squirrel and being too scared,you know to say anything about
it.
You know, and it's like, andthat's embarrassing, you know
Now, like I built myself intosomebody that doesn't stand for
those things, that wouldn't beafraid, you know.
It's like I think that you haveto like become the things that
you wish you could have been,you know.

(02:21):
Or like I had a person on ourbully podcast, you know, that
said, um, be the hero you wishyou had.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
And so I think, like a lot of you've had me thinking
about this a lot.
It's like you know the thingsthat you wish you could have had
.
You know when you were younger.
You develop if you want to.
Right Cause now like I'll standup to anybody anytime, anywhere
.
A monster ugly dude that was mymom's boyfriend, no problem.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
He's not, you know, not a problem anymore.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Like you're not drowning a squirrel on my watch,
you know.
And so like I realized that,like life has come become a lot
of those passions, becausethat's deep, deep seated, like
being almost hand tied in yourown mind Right and not having
the power to do those things youcan develop this, you know.
You can develop a big body.
You can develop like mixedmartial arts talents and you

(03:10):
know, like things like that.
And then like you have to makethe switch here, you know, in
the growth and you know thingslike that and then you become
like, and then you as much asit's embarrassing and I wish I
could flip a coin then youbecome the things that you like
need to be, should be right, andthat for me is now like being a
protector.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yes, I find myself in the exact same situation.
You know, I was not thatgrowing up and I don't know what
it was.
I've been doing a lot of soulsearching to figure out.
When did that switch for me?
Because we were talking about.
You know, I'm not so sodefensive about defending myself
.
I am right, I'll defend myselfall day, but where it really
like gets my myself I am rightI'll defend myself all day but
we're really like gets my, getsmy juices flowing is when I'm

(03:46):
defending somebody else, becauseit fucking pisses me off.
You know, it's that whole bullystuff that we talk about and
it's like not happening.
You know, when somebody istrying to take advantage of a
friend or trying to whatever, Iliterally go from zero to 10.
I mean, we were dealing withthat this past week with Belinda
on some stuff that she'sdealing with on a real estate
deal, and I just I felt like shewas being taken advantage of
and it pissed me off likenobody's business.

(04:07):
Now, if I was in a transactionand I wasn't I would have stayed
calm, I would have handled mybusiness, I would have still
like stood up for myself, but itwouldn't bring that out in me,
which I find to be completelyfunny.
It does come back from where wewere raised.
I had a sister that was reallyclose to me in age who I didn't
defend, right.
I was the one that with thefriends when we were in fourth
and fifth grade I would make funof her with them and I look

(04:28):
back at that as an adult andthink how shameful.
That is right, but I was sostarved to fit in with that
group because we moved schoolsand like all of the things that
I banded with the bullies tobully my sister, you know, and
it's like I look back at thatand I'm ashamed of that, you
know.
So, like you said, we do thingsthat are you're not proud of,
but you can change that.
I want to be the, the woman inlife who helps young girls, who

(04:52):
they can come to, because Ididn't have that.
I didn't have anybody that wasa resource to me to speak with
about the shit that I wasdealing with and the things that
I was going through.
You know, did you have someonewhen you were younger that you
were either a friend or an adultor someone that you were able
to talk with some of the stuffthat you were dealing with, or
was that a?
No, you're on an island byyourself.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
No, I can't really think of you know anybody I was
able to talk to.
You know it's like father wasin prison, mom had horrible
boyfriend, you know, and thenshe had some drug and alcohol
problems, that sort of stuff.
You know, like my brothers andI are close, you know, and so,
but then it's like it was kindof like a not spoken thing.
You didn't talk.
We still, to this day, youdon't talk about that stuff much

(05:33):
, right?

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Why do you suppose that is?
I find that interesting becausethe same thing, like I think it
helps as adults as we talkabout these things and say my
dad was in jail, my stepdad wasan asshole, like all of these
things, the more I talk about mytraumas from my childhood, the
easier and lighter it gets right, and I think when I do that and
this leading with vulnerabilityand other people are more
comfortable speaking about theshit that they went through.
But why do you suppose we don'ttalk about that?

(05:55):
I find that to be fascinating.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
I don't know and like I'm out there in the world a
lot talking about this stuff andit's been really hard for me,
you know.
Know, it's like you got to andlike I learned this recently too
.
It's like, you know, like nowonder I've been so afraid of
this camera for so long.
It's like when you grow up andyour father's like hey, talking
all this code on the phone andlike, hey, we're not going to
talk about where we're movingnext week.
Yeah, don't tell anybody yourname.

(06:17):
You know all this stuff.
And then, like all of a sudden,you start life on the camera.
No wonder it's hard.
And so I've gotten to the pointwhere I will share a lot of
different things.
And from that, you know, like alot of people have opened up to
me and I've been able to helpthem and I started thinking too.
I'm like why aren't we seeingmore people out there like
talking about, like going up orgrowing up with parents in
prison and bad circumstances?
And then, hey, I made it youknow, and I was, like and I was

(06:40):
like looking why don't we havemore of those people?
But you look at the stats onthat, it's like 95%.
If your parent was incarcerated, you're going yeah, and so the
answer probably is there's notenough people making it Right,
and that's fucking sad.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
That is sad, or people that just aren't
comfortable about speaking aboutthat.
I think there's a lot of shameassociated with stuff that you
deal with in childhood Regularabuse, sexual abuse, people
where your parents are out tolunch I mean, how old were you
when your parents divorced?

Speaker 2 (07:12):
They are not divorced still.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Okay, but you had a stepdad, yeah, okay.
So how old were you when yourdad went to jail?
Is that how they like?
They were together until hewent to prison.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, and they.
He went three different timesfor a total of like 15 years.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Wow, he was MIA for your childhood.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, oh yeah, big time.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know it's interesting.
I was watching like CochranCowboys something the other day
and it's like they're talking.
They went to the worst prisonin the country.
They say in the end of themovie.
That is the prison I used to govisit my dad at right.
You know like walking through15 gates and the man is a
nonviolent drug offender.
It's not like he killedsomebody or something you know
it's like, but that like, Iremember going there.

(07:51):
I remember spending corners,quarters on popcorn.
You know it's like we'd only getto go like once every three
years Cause we're broke, youknow.
And so, like I remember thatstuff, you know it's like, and
you know it's like, and that waslike, that was, you know, my
father, you know so.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Do you feel like you've like, at what point did
you realize that you needed toheal that right and do you feel
like you've done the work toheal that that child?
Because for me I feel like inthe trauma that I went through,
stuff happened to me.
I say the loss of the innocenceof a child.
Right, I lost my innocence ateight and so I have had done a

(08:27):
lot of work in trauma to go backand walk that little
eight-year-old girl through thattrauma as the woman that I am
now and the woman that I wishthat I had to defend me at that
age.
Do you feel like you've goneback and really kind of healed
that young boy or do you feellike there's still work to be
done on that?
I mean, I think inevitablythere's always work to be done,

(08:50):
but there's a big bulk of thatthat you go back and kind of
defend that boy as you'redealing with the trauma of that
because you weren't able to dealwith it as a child.
You know what I mean.
That's pretty traumatic to haveto go visit your dad in prison
and have that be the thing andhave somebody that fits in and
fills in as your dad, who's afucking monster, right, like
we're not supposed to do that.
Look at, do you have children?
No, okay.
So I look at my children atthose ages and I think the shit
that I dealt with it literallywill bring me to tears just
thinking about that child atthat age.

(09:11):
How old were you when your dadwent to prison the first time?
Oh, five, six, something likethat so imagine that right and
you don't have enough money togo visit your dad and when
you're going to visit him he'sin fucking prison.
Do you know how traumatic thatis for a five-year-old Tyler?
Yeah do you know what I mean?
Like, have you done the work toheal that stuff?
Do you feel like you have, doyou feel like there's work to be
done?

Speaker 2 (09:29):
it's like I'm jumping all over the place, but I'm
it's a fucking gift yeah it's agift because and I talked to a
friend and he's kind ofdifferent thinker like me he's
like Tyler, your dad didn't goto prison for doing something
wrong, he went to prison for youand I'm, like you know, kind of
taken back and like thinkingabout that.
He's like it allows you to doall the good you're doing now.

(09:51):
And I agree, yeah, that'spowerful, yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
It's powerful.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
And so my dad 15 years in prison.
You know like that's fuckinghard Right.
And I actually, you know, knowyou've given take from people in
life.
You can't take everything yeahand so there's a couple lessons
of pride I have for my dad.
You know, it's like the man'sbeen through some stuff.
He's a very liked man, likeI've never met anybody that
didn't like him, you know, anduh, um, and overall it's like he

(10:18):
went for that long because herefused to tell on his friends.
You know that, and at the endof the day, like that loyalty is
lost in this day and age and soI would have loved to have
grown up with my father.
But you know, it's a gift forme now because I use it to help
people Right, and then at thesame time, it's like I'm proud
of him for doing that Right.
I wouldn't switch the clock andhave him tell on all his

(10:40):
friends to be around.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
Cause, like I, I point of pride on loyalty.
I think it's one of thegreatest things you can be in
life.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
That's why we love the fucking dog.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, no, I, I.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Do you have a relationship withhim now?
Is he still alive?
Oh, we're best friends.
I love it.
Yeah, he lives here in Arizona.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
No, he, uh, he's all over the place these days, but
um, they uh, um, when my dad hadfirst gotten out like he
couldn't get a job and so I wasin college full-time and working
full-time, and he ended upmoving in with me and still
couldn't get a job.
But he lived with me for aboutsix years and we got really
close.
And it's like you, gotta, I waspursuing a degree in

(11:18):
biochemistry, I was workingfull-time and then I was
restoring cars in my backyard.
There was zero time foranything else in life and that
period of time made us close.
My dad helped me with meals, hehelped me with laundry you know
all the things that I didn'thave time to do.
So that was a great um thingfor us.
You know, the other thing thatmy dad is is he's 75 years old.
He was also a semi-pro skiertoo.

(11:39):
Like people say, he's like oneof the greatest skiers they've
ever seen and uh, and so like heis a fitness addict, right, and
I got that from him too.
Right, he is like he's outthere.
He's actually in town visitingright now, you know.
So he's out there right now.
I guarantee he's rollerblading.
He's probably done a 30 milebike ride.
He's probably lifted weightsand he's probably went for a
swim already today, you know.

(11:59):
And people wonder where I getmy 26 workout a week habit.
Yeah, that old man.
Yeah, you know he's like he's 70, what?
76 years old and he still doesall that every single day.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
I love it, so I love it.
Yeah, have you had anopportunity to speak with him
about any of the stuff that madehim who he is, you know from
his childhood or otherwise?

Speaker 2 (12:19):
You know, like you start to analyze people and he
was actually, uh, the highschool like football star he was
president of student body class, went to college.
He was doing everything, perfect, you know, and that was in the
area era of the seventies, youknow.
And then, like I think, herebelled against that perfect
persona.
He didn't want to be that andhe became a hippie, you know,

(12:41):
playing around with dealingdrugs, you know.
And I think it was a rebellionbecause he was always this
perfect, you know.
And so I think about how muchdifferent life had been because
he, you know, in that day too,it was like he was going to
college.
You were a success If you werea white male, if you were going
to college, you know, likestudent body president stuff.
It's like you're going to besuccessful in that track, you

(13:01):
know, 30, 40 years ago.
And so I think about how muchdifferent life would have been,
you know, like a lot different.
But everything that I'm workingon right now, like if I had the
perfect background, childhood,you know, I probably wouldn't
have the same underlyingpassions and drive and fire and
anger, and um, so I'm, I'm whereI'm supposed to be.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, no, I think you're absolutely right.
I think that kind of stuffshapes you.
You know, I look at some of thestuff that I grew up with and
people ask would you havechanged something?
Would you?
You know, do you have regrets?
Do you this?
Not a chance?
Yeah Right, I'm scrappy, I'mgritty, I'm all of those things
because of all of the fucked up.
You know those traumas andreconcile those in a way where

(13:49):
it's like they don't define me.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
You know, I spent a lot of time thinking it's fine,
everything's fine.
You know, before I got sober itwas none of that stuff affects
me, you know.
And then, when I got sober andrealized it all affects you you
know, and that doesn't mean thatyou have to be the victim from
it because I was very anti, likeI'm not the victim of the shit
that happened to me, victim ofthe shit that happened to me.
I'm not a victim, I don't dothat, everything's fine and you
can still process your shitwithout being the victim you

(14:12):
know and use that as fuel, rightthat's the.
That's the reason why it's liketell me I can't do something.
Yeah, I'd fucking dare you.
Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Like underestimate me, that'llbe fun, you know that's like

(14:36):
you're, you're the can't.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
There's such a switch to be turned there because you
know, like I Originally likeespecially the stuff with my dad
was really hard and people kindof knew my mom and her
reputation too and like herex-boyfriend and her would smoke
like chimneys, right, and soall our clothes smell like smoke
.
Till this day I've still neverhad a cigarette in my life.
But I was the bad kid.
Before I was even able to bethe bad kid, I was the bad kid
Father in prison.
You're going to grow up justlike your dad.
Mom's a screw up.

(14:57):
I was the kid that you didn'twant your kids hanging out with
because of the family background.
Walk in smelling likecigarettes and so they figure
I'm smoking in the parking lot.
You know like I took a lot ofheat for that.
If something went missing, I'mnot a thief.
If something went missing, I wasthe first one called in the
office you know, and then, likeyou know, like my mom would get

(15:18):
called in and she had thispauper mentality, like we
weren't and it's weird, you know, like the the thing that
happens around that it's like weweren't on their level the best
way I can describe it as paupermentality where this pauper
mentality, where you like almostthe king and the peasants, you
know, it's like my mom thoughtwe were on this like lower level
, that we weren't almost allowedto argue with.
You know, the principal, youwere less than yeah, the

(15:39):
principal treated me like shit.
He told me, never went out tonothing, you know.
And like I rebelled and Iagreed with him, you know, for a
time, and like there was adrastic point in my life where
it almost went completelydifferent and I'm so glad to say
I somehow flipped a switch andthat like yes, I'm never going
to amount to nothing, becamefuck them.
Yeah, right, and then it's likeit was everything that drove my
first business.
It's hard to start a businesswith four thousand dollars, live

(16:01):
in a dirt lot with noelectricity, no running water.
You know, it's like, yeah, andlike that's how I started my
first company.
Yeah, but that is like initself, like the, the value now
I get to bring to the worldbecause, like I know how to
start with nothing and I likebeing able to show people that
you can start with nothing anddo something you know.
You can outwork that stuff youknow and, like most of the

(16:22):
information out there is for thepeople that already have the
breaks, I like giving people theinformation, like here's when
you're starting from zero right.
Here's when, like your job,success means your business,
success means homeless or makeit you know, those are the
things that I have to offer you,you know.
So it's the other side of theworld and what business is it's
like.
You know it's like and I'm I'mglad for everything I went

(16:43):
through to give me that too.
My dad even says all the timehe's like I never seen anybody
deal with the amount of shit youdeal with and then just keep
getting up.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
And I do.
I have horrible luck.
I get hit with shit all day.
You know it's like my firstbusiness.
I had so many problems in oneyear.
Everybody told me to write abook, couldn't believe it.
Fires, robberies, lawsuits thatweren't fair.
You know, like health issues,love life issues, you know like
partner issues, all at the same.
I literally did write a bookbecause of this.
You know it's like um, but youknow it's like I don't know.

(17:12):
The best business advice I everheard is Rocky.
You know, take all thosepunches and keep moving forward,
no matter what.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
There's nothing more frustrating than the person that
won't stay down.
Yeah, nothing, yeah, which is alovely fuck you that you get to
do when you keep getting backup Right, absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
You know whether it's in the MMA bring.
I've been there too, been putdown a lot, you know broken ribs
, broken nose.
You keep standing up.
It's frustrating, yeah, youknow.
And like in life and businesstoo, it's like you keep standing
up, you're defeating the otherperson, I don't care how much
they're like bigger than you,winning across you.
They didn't get you down.
They keep standing, they keepstanding up.

(17:48):
You know it's like theTerminator, you think you put
them down.
You know it's like frustrating,you can't put them down.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Where are you in the birth order of your siblings?

Speaker 2 (17:56):
You said you have brothers, and how many brothers
do you have?
Two younger.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Okay, and you guys grew up here or somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
All over the place.
Yeah, like always moving.
I went through nine differentschools in first grade.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah, I through nine different schools in first grade
.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yeah, so the more you and I speak, the more I realize
how similar we are.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
I literally until I went to high school, did not go
to a school two years in a row.
Yeah, kept moving.
Uh, not necessarily movinghouses.
My parents kept moving us fromdifferent schools and it was
like, okay, we're going to go tothis religious school, and then
the pastor got caught diddlingthe secretary, and then we got
to go to this next school, andthen you know and it was
definitely all religion basedand all the bullshit that went
into all of that, which is whyI'm jaded the way that I am
against organized religion Um,but but same thing, right, you

(18:36):
have to be strong when you'regoing from one school to the
next school, to the next school,to the next school, cause you
have to.
You're going in, you're havingto make new friends, you're,
we're mending that, yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
And so we're getting closer.
You know, I like, um, I wasworking on a real estate deal.
Actually that, uh, we ended up,just her and I spent a couple
of weeks together, Um, and thatwas really good for our
relationship and, you know, likemy mom even like to her credit
it's like it's opened up a lotof things that I never knew.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
You know, like her telling like I had never known
some of the things that she'sbeen telling me lately and
actually it's funny, I went toshare those things with my
brothers and it made them reallyuncomfortable and so I think
they're still dealing withthings where I'm kind of like
using it and moving on and mybrothers are more like super
successful guys you know likeone brother's a PhD in AI

(19:30):
technology he's one of theforemost authorities in the
world, you know.
And then other brother's, asoftware engineer, but they're
like, they're different than me.
You know completely differentpaths.
You know like, and and sothere's, I think there's still
kind of like it to stay quiet.
You know, I actually was reallyafraid I sent them my book and,
whether they read it or not,they'd never responded about it.
You know Really.
And so, yeah, I think there'sthings that, like I'm starting

(19:52):
to talk about that they wouldrather I didn't maybe.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
That's very interesting.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
I think about that for doing this podcast as well,
and obviously the people thatare tied in in my life that you
know, have their differentversions of whatever that story
is, but it's a lot of gross shitthat comes from our childhoods
and the stuff that get broughtinto it.
You know I've just recentlystarted to extend grace to my
parents, as not only to them butin myself, you know as I'm

(20:20):
processing some of the childhoodstuff of you know they were
just doing the best that theycould with what they had.
You know I've started speakingwith my parents when we get
together about some of thechildhood trauma that they had
as well.
You know my dad's dad died inhis arms at 14 years old and my
dad couldn't bring him back.
You know he's on his childhoodbedroom floor with his dad dying
and he tried to resuscitate himand couldn't.

(20:41):
How fucked up does that makeyou?

Speaker 2 (20:43):
Do you know what I?

Speaker 1 (20:44):
mean Like I can't even imagine, and my dad, I
don't think has done the work torepair that.
My dad is, you know, 77 yearsold, will probably die without
having done that work.
You know he's a good person,he's always worked hard in, like
all of the things, but probablydidn't even realize that there
was shit to be, you know, pulledout from that.
And how can that not seep intoevery single part of your life?

(21:05):
I don't know.
You know I've talked to my momabout, you know, her upbringing
and she was the oops baby toparents that were, you know,
practically 50 by the time shewas born.
And like, what does that looklike?
She's raised by her sisters andher dad was very, you know,
just hammered shame and guiltinto these kids about.
You can't let anyone think thateverything isn't perfect behind

(21:25):
these walls, you know, andbehind the curtain, and I think
what does that do to a child?
You know, no wonder I was raisedwith all of the shame and the
guilt that I was.
You know, I remember looking atthings where my sister got
pregnant in high school and mymom and dad very much hid that
and made her give it up foradoption and like on the surface
, where everything's fine here,even though we were same shit,
we were poor, we were the lessthan we were, all of that shit

(21:47):
growing up.
But it was like don't tellgrandma that we're not Catholic
anymore.
Don't tell so and so that wearen't this.
Don't tell whatever.
I was raised to be a fuckingliar.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
I wasn't the family that's like come to us if you
need anything.
It was like shut the fuck upand get out of the way and I
didn't fit into the box thatthat they wanted me to in this.
You know organized religion,because I could see from the
very beginning this doesn'tresonate with me, you know.
But then I was not treated thesame because I didn't just
conform to that you know, andthat's shit that I just am now

(22:18):
like at 47 years old, kind offiguring out.
Okay, how does that affectdifferent fears that I have as
an adult?
Or how does that?
You know everything comes fromchildhood as far as I'm
concerned.
How do those things affect me?
You know everything comes fromchildhood as far as I'm
concerned.
How do those things affect me?
You know, for how I was treatedand how I wasn't embraced for
who I was.
It was.
You don't fit into this box andso you're a problem, you know.
And what does that do for achild?

(22:39):
You know, the innocence of achild is so crazy to me.
I look at that and there needsto be more people defending that
in our children now.
But you have exactly whatyou're talking about with your
brothers where we don't want totalk about it, we don't want to
acknowledge it.
It's easier just to leave itunder the rug.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
And to me.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
I'm here to blow all that shit wide open because I
disagree with that entirely.
I think there's lots to belearned from your stories.
You know.
I believe that every time Ilead with vulnerability and
share with other people the factthat I was molested and raped
and all of these things as achild and not protected, and
then and then turned around andput myself in super dangerous
situations because that feltnormal to me.
You know, it's like my parentsthought I was just rebelling for
stuff.
It was like that's what feltnormal to me, you know, is to

(23:17):
continue to put myself insituations that were super
dangerous.
I look back and I just cringethinking about my children
potentially putting themselvesin the situations that I did,
you know.
But it's like you're just doingthe best that you can.
You don't have anybody there tolike be your person to talk to,
or an auntie or someone, and sonow I go out of my way to be
the best aunt I can to saydoor's always open, you know

(23:40):
where to find me.
Here's what we do.
We defend ourselves, we use ourvoices, all of these things
Because I don't want other kidsto have to do the same thing
that I did or that you did thestuff that you're talking about.
If you didn't have anyone totalk to, it's fucked up you know
the fact that your brotherswon't talk with you about it.
Now I totally get it right.
I have two brothers, one wholove him to death, but he's
completely asleep.

(24:00):
Still is how I will say thatright, because I think you're
either awake or you're asleep asfar as I'm concerned, I haven't
, you know, you've met Keith.
He's right at this cusp of like,okay, the light switched,
flipped.
I don't know what that means,but he's like starting to really
explore that.
I'm having such a fun timewatching that situation.
You know, and as far as myother, you know my parents and

(24:22):
my other sister, I don't know.
I think my parents are sotwisted up in organized religion
that they don't even know.
You know what I mean.
My mom always thinks that ifshe's going to get therapy, it's
going to be something that shegets through the church.
Well, maybe get it outside ofthat so that you can have a full
perspective, because I thinkorganized religion is pretty
culty a lot of times you knowand maybe you don't realize some
of the good stuff, but she hasstill has all of her childhood

(24:42):
trauma that she drags throughactively behind her like a ball
and chain.
You know what I mean.
And people don't even realize,when you don't even realize,
that that shit is just literallya ball and chain flying behind
you, knocking other people out,because that's what it does.
You know, that's what yourtriggers are and somebody says
something the wrong way and youjump on them or we can't talk
about that or like whatever anyof that is.
I don't want anything to dowith that.

(25:04):
I want to talk about everything.
I don't want anything to beshameful.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
You know, I think you can use those things as good or
bad I agree with you, it's allabout how you burn it.
You know I do that bully podcastwith Cliff.
He was my long-term mixedmartial arts training partner.
It's like number fivemiddleweight in the world for
UFC and he'd be always likewe're such polar opposites and
we're born like nine hours apart, like such polar opposites but
so similar in certain ways.
He, certain ways he drives offlike passion, excitement and

(25:29):
it's not like I don't but I've Iburned through like anger and
resentment you know it's likeand like I, and I'm not an angry
person in life.
You'll rarely ever see me mad,or upset you know, but like or
without a smile on my face, butthat's what I use.
That's my fuel.
I think I burned through it andthat's why I don't have to be
that on a daily basis.
And I, so I think you can usethose things.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
It happened to you anyways you know you could use
it as a gift or a curse.
You know, it's just your story.
You know once you realize thatand don't give it the weight I
think so many people give it somuch weight and that's why
there's shame around it.
And that's why they don't wantto talk about it, and it's like
shame to can't live where thelight is you know your destiny
does not have to be what youthink it is.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
You know it's like I and we're especially like being
in this country.
We can do anything we want todo, totally.
I was homeless 15 years ago inthis, in this state, right
Dragged my brothers into it.
You know it was like I still Itold the story at my brother's
wedding and I couldn't getthrough it.
And a bunch of people came upto me afterwards and I was like
feeling guilty.
I'm like why did I tell thisstory?
You know it's like and and mybrother's father-in-law came up

(26:32):
to me and he's like he's sorry.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Don't apologize.
Don't ever apologize to me.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
He's like, you know, like I loved your brother, you
know like a son, but now I lovehim that much more.
Yes, you know, yes, that story.
Yes, so it was.
So it was.
It was hard to tell you know,and embarrassing for me, because
I kind of dragged us down hereand we ended up being homeless,
you know, and so um, but theyhad no idea, because my brothers

(27:05):
won't talk about this stuff.
We went from living in thedesert, you know, to like
destitute.
I was promised a job down hereand when we moved down here
there was no job the guy screwedme over.
Then we ended up bandingtogether and like bologna
sandwiches, like five dollars aweek, you know, like meals
somehow made it work, you know.
And then, like now, like I said, my brother's a phd.
They both have beautiful housesin scottsdale.

(27:25):
It's like we all have degrees,you know, to the point now we
all have enough degrees where wedo something fun together,
where, like, when somebody getsa degree, the other two brothers
buy them a trip, uh, anywherein the world.
We all go together.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Love it.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
So, um so, we've been almost racing each other for
degrees these days, you know yes.
But nobody knew that.
That's that story and it was,you know, like embarrassing to
tell or whatever, but thatmoment that his father-in-law
came up to me, you know it'slike, Tyler, the story wasn't
for you.
Yeah, it was for Tracy.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
Yeah.
So, Well, and look at how manypeople benefit from that kind of
stuff, when you're able to leadwith vulnerability and people
are like, wow, that's impressivethat you guys were able to
fight back from that.
I think people are soembarrassed about what their
past looks like or what you knowpieces are in their story, and
I think it should be just theopposite.
I think people should wear thatshit like a badge of honor.
You know what I mean.
Like I look at my life and Iyou know recently and going back

(28:16):
through things and realizinglike holy shit, you know, I was
a, I was a teenage mom.
I was you know, I moved out ofmy parents' house when I was 16
years old.
I'd like all of these differentthings and, and have recently
started really giving myselfcredit for that, instead of just
it's fine and just keepplugging through and just using
shit as my fuel.
There needs to be some some ofthat where it's like, wow, I
really have worked really hardto be here and and and.

(28:36):
Look at all of these peoplethat I've had an impact on.
How lovely is that your storyis able to do that right.
You being vulnerable and beingable to share that.
That makes a difference withpeople, you know.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
I mean you like, I went out, I get asked to speak
sometimes and I went out tospeak to a high school and uh,
you know, it's a long ways, it'skind of expensive, it's
obviously they're not paying me,you know, to go out there and
that sort of stuff.
But it wasn't about any of thatstuff.
I jumped at the opportunity todo that stuff and I was talking
to my ex business partner andhe's like and I agree 100%, you
know he said it before me ifit's one kid that impacts, it's

(29:09):
worth the trip.
So we go out there and you know, sure enough, a couple of kids
came up to me like rightafterwards, father's in prison
Didn't know I could do this.
You know, I hear from theteacher later that he just
enrolled in school.
You know, like, like all thesethings, that that's that's the
impact of telling your story.
You know it's like use it,don't use it to be a victim.
No you know, use it to becourageous, you can.

(29:30):
You can take that.
Whatever that victim thing isthat happened to you, you know,
and then you can turn that intosomething inspiring and that can
be part of the reason ithappened to you.
And I like there's people outthere with way worse shit than
no doubt, no, no doubt.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
I think the exact same thing.
My life is easy.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
My my partner in the um foster care foundation.
She's been through some of themost horrific stuff you could
ever imagine Right and like.
Yet it comes out the other sideof it.
She's tougher than I am.
She'll fight you.
You know like she will fightyou tooth and nail if you want
to touch a foster kid, you knowand I love that about her.
And then it's up to people likeyou and I that have been strong

(30:06):
, that have come through things.
We have to support those kindof people.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
We have to raise them up.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
We have to give them the platform.
You know, and like that's whatI'm working on with Lisa.
She's amazing, you know.
It's like I platform her asmuch as I can because I think
she's going to change the worldfor foster care kids, because
she went through it.
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
How do you get more people to come from that place?
Right, because everybody has astory and I think the majority
of people don't talk about it.
I think it's something thatpeople are ashamed of or
something that they don't do,but every time I lead with
vulnerability and share my story.
It's the reason why I hear allof these stories of the things
that women went throughpreviously and it's and, like

(30:43):
you said, it is disgusting.
I don't have anything close toas gross as it fucking gets out
there and I, you know, I don'tthink people can even get their
heads around how, how bad things, how bad stories are that
people have them, but how do youget people that use those as,
uh, as fuel, or people that usethose for good?
How do we give them platforms?
How do we make that besomething that you know there's?
There's more stories to beheard and more cause.

(31:05):
I think people grow from thatwhen they hear other people's
stories too.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
You do and I think you stated exactly.
It's like you be vulnerable.
First They'll share thatvulnerability with you and then
now you can support them in thethings that you're doing right.
And I try to find and collectpeople that are capable of doing
things with me for the things Iwant to change in this world.
Fuck the way the foster caresystem is, fuck it.
Fuck the way we deal withanimals and you know like what's

(31:32):
happening to small business andall these things rile me up.
I get angry.
You know.
It's like I'm not that scaredkid anymore.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
You know, like I I.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
I will fight you, you know, and so like, and I don't
mean physically, we're going,you know it's like you want to.
You don't want to uh like.
I want to open a foundation orwe're opening a foundation for
foster kids, because that is apassion of mine.
When I heard that we're sendingkids to jail for doing nothing
wrong, because we got nowhereelse for them to be like, that
was like.
That was the moment right.

(31:59):
And you know it's like.
I never used to share thisstuff either.
You know I'd like I Ivolunteered at the foster um uh
care uh facility in Mesa forfive years.
I never told, told anybodyabout it.
I had a girlfriend that thoughtI was cheating on her on
Saturdays.
You know I was like cause Iwouldn't tell her.
Or like I was spending twoyears at the animal shelter
lifting the dogs when they'reasleep from neutering surgeries.
I didn't tell anybody of thosethings.

(32:20):
You know, and shame on me.
I've flipped a switch.
We have this humble thing wrong.
Shame on me, right, because ifyou give $5 on the street,
that's probably not worth makinga video for that's stupid.
Now, if you show up every day toa foster care foundation or
something you're passionateabout, you're holding them back
by not talking about it.
You know how amazing that placeis.
You donate your furniture thereinstead of Goodwill, which is

(32:42):
for-profit business, you know tothe foster care foundation.
They'll sell that furniture andnow it funds the home.
And when it funds the home,then guess what they get to do.
They get to keep the kids innice houses.
They don't treat it like aprison.
You can have knives instead ofplastic wear and all these
different things.
They get to make the rules ifthey're funded, right.
So shame on me for not talkingabout it.
You know, and I actually workwith some of the biggest

(33:02):
charities in the world now and Itell them this same thing.
It's like, hey, what's moreimportant, you being humble or
you posting and saving anotherkid?

Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
You know and like it, we have it wrong.
Why are we telling good to behumble, yeah, why, yeah, evil
has no problem with this stuffAdvertising.
There's some guy out there onthe camera today.
Hey, buy my a hundred dollarcourse to rip you off.
You know that's going to steeryou in the wrong direction.
For years you know, that guyhas no problem using the camera.
If you're passionate aboutsomething, use the fucking
camera.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, yeah, no, you're, you're absolutely right.
I think there's a, I thinkthere's a disconnect there from
from that, and I think ustalking about it more having a
platform, having more peopleshare their stories with that, I
think all of that stuff helps.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
I'm going to impact as much as I can before I die.
Yeah, you know, it's like I andI, like I went to the humble
thing too, I, you know, and likeI came out of the other side of
it, impact's more important.
Yeah, you can say, oh, tyler'sa braggart, tyler's this or that
, I don't care what you sayabout me.
Agreed, agreed.
If I save one more kid, if Isave one more animal, if I save
one more small business.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
I don't care what you think about me, right, god, it
same thing, right?
I've been trying to figure outwhat do I want to, what do I
want to do?
Where do I belong?
Where do I?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And watching the impact that Ihave on the people that are
directly in my lives is amazing,right.
And then they're able to impactpeople, and so it's like okay,
let's, where do I want thispodcast to go?

(34:23):
Wherever it's supposed to go,right, if people hear that and
then listen to you talking andsay, oh my God, I can get
involved in foster care, in the,whatever the things are that
you're talking about and, yes,that you're absolutely right, we
should make that something thatwe speak about instead of our
quiet about or ashamed about orwhatever.
These kids don't have a fuckingvoice.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
You know, and the part I missed was the most
important part the second Istarted speaking up about this
stuff.
People rallied to my cause,right, tyler can do a decent
amount in this world by himself.
He's a pretty capable guy.
But Tyler can do a lot more.
And I think the biggestlearning lesson for me is I had
a board of advisors in my firstcompany and one of them was a
big deal works.
He was the CFO of a majorcompany.

(35:03):
It's on record.
He makes like three $4 milliona year.
And I come back from Africa onetime doing some volunteer work
and he finds out somehow becausehe never used to tell people
this stuff.
And he's like Tyler why didn'tyou tell me you were going?
I would love to help with that.
Right, and then, like, tylercan do a lot, but so can Tyler's
friend that makes $3 million ayear.
His whole network that makes $3million.
Once again, shame on me.

(35:24):
Right, and like the second Istarted talking about this stuff
, people rallied to my cause,right, tyler, you open it, we'll
come with you.
Right, and it's like that'swhat people need, you know.
It's like and there's a lot ofthings in this world that need
to be changed, without a doubt.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Well, and you're passionate, right?
So same thing when you'repassionate and you're able to
get people excited about stuff,that's a big that's a big deal.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
How do you, how do you foster that for yourself so
that you can continue to rallypeople?
Because when we were speakingbefore we started recording, we
were talking about having dayswhere you know, sometimes even
those of us that are thecheerleaders and the ones that
are helping people level up andthe ones that are doing all of
this good work we have bad daysevery once in a while, too.
What do you?
How do you handle those?

Speaker 2 (36:06):
You know it's life has been like a serious exercise
, you know, and like one of thethings.
It's like how to impact theworld.
You know I lived for me forquite a long time and um, and
then, like, one day I woke upand I like I was lucky.
Early on, you know, 20 yearsold, I went from kid on welfare,
you know like, to six figurejob 20 years old.

(36:27):
You know, it's like I had themoney right, but then that
wasn't the happiness Right.
And then I had this really cooljob, you know like, in the
concert industry and I wastraveling all over the country
and girls were running after meand, you know, I was hanging out
with famous people.
That was the, I guess, the fame, and that wasn't happiness, you
know it's like.
And so I went through thesedifferent things and it's like,
then I went and I started tolike finally think about what.

(36:49):
What meaning was, what purposewas what you know?
And so I like, uh, that waswhat originally made me brave my
degree in biochemistry.
I was told I was stupid in highschool.
You know, I finally like hadenough doors shut on me and like
wanted to do something that Ilike braved college First year.
I was a business major and Irealized they actually did
pretty well.
I wasn't as stupid as they toldme and I'm like, what's the

(37:10):
hardest fucking degree.
They got here and I likethought about biochemistry and
right along then I saw a umarticle and it was called silly
white girl and it was this girlthat um actually goes over to
Africa and she's buildingschools with her friends, right.
And she wakes up one night shesees they're actually
dismantling these schools andlike building them properly

(37:31):
because they didn't know whatthey're doing.
So she gets home and hersynopsis is you know like you
should stay at home andfundraise, right, if you don't
have a skill.
I wanted a skill, I wanted totravel the world.
So biochemistry I wasoriginally thinking about being
a veterinarian, even applied, Iwas told I would get in if I
majorly applied.
And then the world shifted intoentrepreneur world.

(37:53):
But it was this search on likewhat is the right way to help,
what is the right way to give,because even helping as you know
, I'm sure even helping is aprocess, right?
You know it's like there's agreat book how Helping Hurts, a
great documentary called PovertyInc.
We can't drop a bunch of ricein Africa and solve that problem
right, so you have to work insystems and so, like we take
guesses and this is the longestway to answer this, but we take

(38:15):
guesses at the right way to help.
You know, it's like one of thethings I do right now is small
business support.
right, I've consulted forprobably over a thousand small
businesses for free now you knowit's like I try to help them
save their business because Ibelieve in the collateral impact
of small business.
I help them save their businessthey have their success than
they do for the community rightGood hearted people brought to

(38:35):
their success changes the world.
But it does get hard, you know,because it's like I have this
hypothesis If we band togethermore small businesses at a dying
rate now in um, don't hold methese stats folks, but you know,
it's like something around 70,65% in 1950 was the GDP for
small business and like now it'slike 47% and decreasing at 0.03

(38:56):
rate per year.
Right, and look at the economicimpact of what's going on now
compared to then.
That was the single carhousehold, that was the, you
know, that was the Americandream and it's dying.
And I feel like I'm the onlyone fucking paying attention to
it, you know.
And so, like I'm like let'sjust rally everybody together,
let's small businesses sticktogether, because there's the
Facebooks and the Googles and weall, they all you're not paying

(39:16):
attention to this.
They're all taking advantage ofyou.
We're their biggest clients,yeah, we're their biggest
clients, hands down, and theytake advantage of us.
Right, rally everybody, givethem free education and we can
all band together.
And when that system doesn'twork, your hypothesis, your
educated guess on the best wayto change this thing, and like
something kicks your ass, youknow, like it did this morning.

(39:37):
It's like maybe I'm fuckingwrong about this.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Yeah, how do you rally back?
How do you rally back when itkicks you in the teeth?
Because I'm the same way.
I understand, 95% of the timeI'm able to be the one that's
the biggest cheerleader and theone that's helping prop all of
my people up and whether it's inbusiness or whether it's
personal or whatever it is.
But then every once in a while,I had a bad day.
The other day and I was.
It was the worst day that I'vehad in a really long time and it

(40:00):
makes you question everything.
It's like life just kicks youright in the balls and it's like
, okay, how do I, how do I shakethis off?
What do you do?
What is your, what is yourtechnique?
I'm for me, I'm asking for mebecause I need those, those tips
and tricks.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Mixed martial arts has taught me so much in life.
It is the ultimate chess matchwith serious, immediate
repercussions.
And so it's like you're put down, you know, and like you get to
get up and have a different planand that's what life is right.
You get put down and that'swhat I love.
If you're a boxer, I loveboxing.
It's the sweet science, it'sbeautiful to watch, you know.

(40:33):
But I like mixed martial artsbecause I have options, right,
and that's what life is, that'swhat business is.
You have options.
So guess what.
They put you down, you know,you get back up, you make a
change, you fight in a differentspectrum.
Now I'm going to go like I'mgoing to go try to grapple the
guy as opposed to kickbox him orwhatever, and I think that's
you constantly.
Just have to even learn, oreven helping is a process.

(40:54):
So maybe that wasn't the rightway to help, right?
Maybe I've got to adjust thatslightly.
It's like maybe that wasn't thebest route, and I think that's
what you do, is you just makethose adjustments and learn more
and more.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Learn from it and go on Get back up again, right.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
Yeah, and then you got, so the pain is the fact
that it didn't work.
That's the thing that put youdown Right and they're like it's
disheartening.
I know.
I know you've helped peoplethat don't appreciate it or
didn't use it, or you know it'slike and I have too I've had my
heart broken so many times.
I love people I'm to.
It feels like a curse becauseit's torture to me.
When I see something that, like,I can't stand.

(41:32):
You know, even something simple.
I'm watching this video theother day of like these um
people.
They're caught on cameradropping off their dogs and
leaving them and the dog, likeit makes me sick to my stomach
right now, like abandonment.
I told you I'm big on loyalty.
You know like I love animals.
You know everything in my bodystrikes against that.
You know it's like and I tellpeople, when you feel it here

(41:54):
and you feel it here, you haveto do something here.
You know it's like that's whenyou got to develop something
that's going to change thatthing.
That you know, and that's whyI'm like Tyler was my small
business.
Why?
Because you need to make moregood people successful and
that's the best way to changeyour stars in this world.
Look at me you know, like primeexample.
Look at you right.
If we hadn't had theopportunity to open a small

(42:14):
business, tyler then couldn'tstart a foster care foundation
and wouldn't have the network todo it.
He'd be some poor welfare kidthat nobody wants to talk to.
You know, tyler couldn't betraveling the world redefining
what it means to be a hero andgiving that money to charity.
You know, tyler couldn't behelping small businesses and

(42:35):
have a property where you cancome in for free and get help
with your business anytime.

Speaker 1 (42:38):
That all happened because of business, right?
How long ago?
What age were you when yourealized that it wasn't about
you, right?
We talk about, you know,getting all of these things
getting the money, getting thefame, getting the education,
getting the whatever and thenrealizing that that isn't where
it's at Right?
What age were you when you?

Speaker 2 (42:57):
when you realized that.
You know it's funny.
So like I know you guys aregoing to clip this specific clip
which gets me so much hate, youknow, and so because it's like
I feel bad when I see the guythat's 40 years old, that's
driving the Ferrari and it'snever done anything for the
world, it tells me that lifehasn't given you any sort of
growth, right, you are so loston life and folks just because
you're going to hate me now,like, for some reason, everybody

(43:18):
defends the poor Ferrari owner.
You know it's like like I don'tunderstand that.
You know it's like the amountof people that actually have a
Ferrari is pretty small.
But it's like my thing is havethe Ferrari.
You, you've enjoyed it, youworked.
I know what it's like to workreally hard for your money.
You know it's like have it.
But my point is, if you havethe Ferrari and you've never
done anything for a cause oranybody else, shame on you.
That shows me you've had nolife progress.

(43:39):
You're like a two year old inwhat learning about life is.
And so like I guess I'm lucky Igot my ass kicked as a kid.
I guess I lucky that I made alot of bad decisions.
I guess I'm lucky that, likefor the way people mistreated me
, because I feel like around 25years old, I was starting to
already think like I got to dosomething to change the world.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
That's incredible.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
That's very young for that that was when I enrolled
in biochemistry program and Iwanted to travel.
I didn't even care about themoney for medicine.
Yeah Right, I was afraid toeven admit to anybody I was
going wanting to go to medicalschool.
I literally wanted the degreebecause I wanted a skill to go
work in Africa and help people.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
Good for you.
Like that.
That impresses me.
I thought the world revolvedaround me until I was 40.
I mean, literally thought itrevolved around me.
I thought it was you know whenI in business, when will it be
enough?
My answer was always more youknow and and having my eyes
opened and my ass kicked andswitched to realize like this
life has nothing to do with meis the most beautiful gift I've

(44:36):
ever been given, and it's howcan I help more people, how can
I impact more people?
It's literally that's it.
I wake up in the morning and toask God to put me, wherever I
can be, of the greatest service.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
You know, that's it.
That's the same prayer I giveevery morning, and my answer at
this moment is I'm going to be abillionaire.
Yeah, because, um, I'm going tobe a billionaire and I already
have the way I'm going to do itand I have to become a
billionaire.
And the reason is because ifelon musk had grown up in the
foster care system, do you thinkit would look like it does?
no, no, you're absolutely rightif bill gates had like, dealt

(45:07):
with poverty, know and likeinjustice in his youth, would it
look?
Would he not be doing somethingabout that now?
Right, I've been exposed tosome awful things in life, right
, and that gives me deep.
I can feel it.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
You know it's like.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
I spent a very small amount of time in the in in, in
foster care.
You know it was like that was agift and like I feel bad even
mentioning it, because peoplelike Lisa grew up their whole
lives in the system.
But I can smell it, I couldfeel it when I volunteered there
, like there was every part ofit that, remember, and that was
a gift.
Now, because then, like I canfeel what I'm supposed to do
with it.
Right, you know, and so likethat's why it's like if you're a

(45:43):
kind hearted person, you know,like out there and you're a
loving person, get yourself thefucking success.
Yeah, Get in the weight roomand build yourself the body.
You know it's like you can'tbully me anymore.
You know like, yeah, you can'tdo it Like I don't know, I don't
care what level it's on you.
You, you want to go toe to toewith me in business?
Okay, you're not willing tolive in a trailer in the desert?

Speaker 1 (46:06):
and have an.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
MBA and a bunch of successful.
I'm sorry you're not going todo that Right.
You know I will outrun you.
I will work you.
You know it's like thousandpercent every day before you.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
I will leave at the end of the day after you.
Every day, all day, I amliterally willing to do whatever
it takes.
And a lot of people are not theworld needs more kindhearted
badasses.
That's true.
Kindhearted badasses, I wantyou on my team too.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
That's one of the biggest things that I've had a
problem with is like I'll work120 hours a week.
I'll work out all the time, youknow.
Like I don't know whether thatdistances people from me or what
, but like you know, I could usea team.
You know, if you want to be akind hearted badass, you're on
my team.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
If you want to take advantage of the world and it's
more important that you get yourFerrari, you know, and like
it's not your problem, oh hey,my gift to the world is I employ
some people.
That's my, my, my benefit tosociety.
Fuck you.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, exactly, you're missing the big picture at that
point you know what I mean andI used to think that.
I used to think that when I wasin my thirties I was like, look
at, I had no idea.
I, literally I, I, I drove theMercedes and I had the big house
in paradise Valley and I all ofthese things, and I've never
been more miserable in my life,you know.

(47:16):
And now it's like realizingthat it has nothing to do with
me, and how can I make thebiggest impact on people?
It's everything.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
You know, why can't we look at that?
Look at this, most successfulpeople in the world.
Why can't we look at, look atthis?
You know it's like what issuccess?
Right, it's like okay, it'sfame.
Right, it's money, it's power,it's your network.
Look at the most successfulpeople and we look, we can look
at them.
I especially studied comedians,right, cause comedians, I think
, are ultra intelligent, right,and what happens is they get to

(47:44):
the top, right, the whole worldtelling us the mark, and it's
actually the marketing world.
Folks, you know it's amulti-billion dollar industry to
sell you this dream.
You know it's like and like.
They get the money, they getthe fame, they get the girls,
and what do they have?
Happens, they get there and I'mlike there's no happiness here.
I was sold this dream, therewas going to be happiness here,
and guess what?
They drink themselves to death.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
Yeah, yeah, right yeah.
You don't have to be a geniusto look at this, right, yeah I
was like look at the happiestpeople, the most content people
in the world.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
You know, we went over and visited scott um neeson
that you guys have never heardof you will, by the end of next
year, if I have anything to dowith it who we shot our
documentary on.
Here's a guy that grew up, youknow, um, not rich, right.
Uh was a high school dropout,you know, and uh started running
a projector in a movie house ofFox Films, worked his way all

(48:31):
the way up, hard work, presidentof Fox Films, did X-Men,
titanic, braveheart, all theseamazing movies.
And he, like he decides one dayhe goes over to actually
Cambodia, sees these kids livingin a trash dump, sells his
mansion, everything he owns.
And now he's been over thereand I've I'm now like lucky
enough to call him a good friend.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Now like lucky enough to call him a good friend, and
he will tell you every day I'mthe most blessed man in the
world.
I love it.
How, how do you that's thewhole thing how do you wake more
people up to realize thatBecause you can choose happy
right now, you can do goodthings right now, you can make
an impact right now where, whenyou go, do the volunteering and
doing the things that fill yourheart, that's the shit that
matters.
Not how big your bank accountis, not you know how much fame

(49:11):
you have, not how many girls youhave on your arm or which cars
you drive or whatever.
And once you get to that point,you realize that it's still
empty.
The goal post keeps fuckingmoving, you know if only if, if
only if yeah, yeah, you know, ifonly, I get this next house.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
If only I get this yacht.
Yeah, if only I get this moneyyou know, if only get this look
at.
If only get this look at thethey, they make the documentary.
Look at the Instagram peopleyou know or influencer people
fucking miserable.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
You're not wrong.
I mean, they totally are.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
Find your thing that, like when it hurts here and it
hurts here, you know like that'syour thing Right and like find
your thing that, and I'm saying,be successful.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Yeah, no doubt, no doubt.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
No doubt that.
And I'm saying be successful.
Don't get that wrong about allthis.
You have to have your successto make an impact.
You know, like there was apoint in my first business, very
first world business.
I had celebrity clients, allthese things.
Everybody thought I had thedream business job.
You know, it's like turned downfor reality shows that people
thought it was so cool and I waslike one day this guy comes in
and I'm reading books likehelping her.
So I mentioned and like how to,the right way to give.
And I'm in this first worldbusiness and like I call my

(50:14):
Greek friend, my overzealousGreek friend, and I'm like, dude
, I can't do this anymore, Ican't do this anymore.
Like it is, this guy comes inand he's getting like a racing
stripe kit on his car, you know,and like the machine breaks and
so he cries.
He literally cries, I kid younot.
And like we had went out, Ipicked the man up myself, you
know, and like he's crying aboutthis first world thing and, um,
I was like I can't fucking dothis anymore.

(50:35):
I can't work, I'm not doing anygood for the world.
My overselless Greek friend, hegoes Tyler, get back in the
business, get back to work.
You can't change the world onthe street corner holding the
sign.
You have to change the worldfrom the boardroom.
And he's so right.
Yeah, absolutely right.
Scott Neeson, way better storythan mine, you know.
It's like he had a guy.
He's on the trash dump holdinga kid that's dying of typhus

(50:59):
typhoid excuse me, holding a kidthat's dying of typhoid.
This old woman comes up, handshim the kid.
He gets a call from one of themost famous actors in the world
who's saying hey there, do youknow how hard my life is?
Scott knew in that moment, thatvery moment, that hey, I can't

(51:20):
do this anymore.
That's when he gave upeverything in Hollywood and he
went over there and he's got1,700 kids.
I met him.
They're in school, he clothespeople, he feeds people, he
houses people.
In the entire country ofCambodia.
I traveled for two monthsasking everybody what they
thought of Scott Neeson.
They all said he is the mostamazing man.

(51:42):
He gave up everything forCambodia.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Monks told me they wish they could be as
enlightened as the guy that's aguy that has life figured out, I
agree with you a thousandpercent, I agree.
And, like you said, thatdoesn't mean you don't have to
chase money, because for me, themore I have, the more I can
give away.
Right, and that's how I believethat yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
His success meant that impact.
Yeah, he, he had the success.
He had all the hobnobs, theletteries that go over there
like I could laundry list nameall the people that had been
there the weeks before I wasthere.
You know, it's like that's whatallowed him to make that impact
.
So get your fucking success soyou can do something with it.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
No doubt, when is your?
So you did a documentary on onthis guy.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Okay, I'm excited I'm excited to be able to see that
when it comes out, desperatelytrying to get it into Sundance
this year.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
Okay, that's excellent.
Let me know if there's anythingI can do to help.
That's awesome.
That story needs to be outthere.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
It absolutely does, and you know the premise of the
show is like I want the world tolook at a different type of
hero, much like you're asking melike how can we help people
understand this?
We have to look at a differenttype of hero.
When we're looking at my, my,my thought was if the
Kardashians can make millions ofdollars posting a video on
YouTube, why can't we make somemoney for people like Scott?

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
And we have other people that, like we're hoping
to go and do two episodes a year.
The next one got, uh, delayed alittle bit Cause there's a war
in the country we were hoping togo to.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
I would go anyway, but like I don't want to
endanger other people, yeah, soyeah, so he's.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
he's an amazing man.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
You know, like I will , any chance I get you know, I
like to sing his praises onceagain, platforming people that
are doing the good workAbsolutely Well, and again,
people that that try to do allof these things, that we I think
we've been sold this, this billof goods of having the house
and the family and the two kidsand the nice car and the amazing
job, and you do all of thisshit and you get to the end and
you're not happy and you've justwasted all of this time.

(53:28):
You know when you really breakit down and figure out that it's
about making an impact, it'sabout helping other people, it's
about community, it's aboutdoing work that matters, it's
about choosing happy.
You know, it's not all of thisshit where it's like how can I
have more?
And, like you said, it justkeeps moving, the goalpost keeps
moving of when I have this,I'll be happy when I have that
newsflash, I had all of thethings.
It's not.
That's not what makes you happy.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
I've never been more fucking miserable 20 years old,
you know, six figure income, twocars, lake house.
It was funny, you know.
I was on this huge house on theHill.
I had a doc where I would go upand wakeboard every morning and
it's like funny because it'slike here's a rich and famous
doctor, this is the Microsoftcommunity, here's a rich and
famous pharmacist Microsoft andhere's a kid on the Hill that
sells cars, you know.

(54:10):
And so I found out real earlythat wasn't happiness, you know.
But you know like and I thinkwe, I do like to blow it out of
proportion these amazing stories, these amazing people, but just
as good as like being a goodfamily person.
You know like raising good kids.
You know like trying to impactthe local little league.
You know like I make it moregrand at times you know, but
like that's amazing too.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
Yes, it doesn't have to be this whole big thing.
It can be making an impact insmall ways in your every day and
knowing how good that makes youfeel right.
That's way better than anycheck I've ever taken to the
bank.
It's making an impact withpeople that see that that go wow
.
That really made a differencefor me.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
If you're living your life in a way, you should never
have to tell people what youbelieve Be a billboard for your
beliefs.
It's like if you're living yourlife with kindness and that's
where I kind of struggleslightly is like I believe in
kindness, I believe in you know,um, being polite, I believe,

(55:09):
but I believe more than that inprotecting those that can't
protect themselves and that'sbeen a tough thing for me.
It's like when is it turning theother cheek and when is it
allowing a bully?
You know it's like we do abully podcast for kids.
You know it's like and I getbullied sometimes these days.
Believe it or not, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
I'm a 42 year old man .

Speaker 2 (55:25):
I'm 220 pounds.
You know it's like I getbullied.
You know it's like and I'mturned the other cheek.
But if I see you doing it tosomebody else, I'm less likely
to do that agree a thousandpercent right and so and I think
that's what kind of drives mypassion for this stuff.
It's like you can do it to me,I'll learn the lesson, I'll move
on, but you can't.
I don't want you to do it tosomebody else.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
I want to ask you last question um, how do you
feel as far as being in touchwith your emotions and how has
that been?
You know, emotionalintelligence is this big
buzzword right now for things,and and I've really started to
evaluate that with myself andwith other people, because I
think you know being able tocontrol your emotions and use
them as a tool, instead ofallowing people to bump into

(56:04):
your shit and you lose your mindyou know you lose control and
you're not able to be effectiveand whatever.
What is your relationship likewith your emotions and how has
that kind of evolved over time?
Do you feel like you have agood handle on that now?

Speaker 2 (56:15):
You know, like I I think so because most of the
time you won't ever know there'ssomething going on with me, you
know.
And so, like I believe, angeris a weakness.
You know not being angry I useanger every single day but
expressing it certainly.
You know if you're getting madin traffic or if you're getting
and I'm not saying I'm perfect,it's not like I never do but, I
really try to tell myself angeris a weakness If you can't

(56:36):
control that anger.
You know like this is a littlebit of a segue and, once again,
something I get a lot of hatefor, but it's like why can we
not control the fact that wecan't be just friends with women
?
I think that's the stupidestthing on the planet.
If you close your network downto like, for me, just men you
know, it's like there's thatphrase you can only be just
friends.
You can't be just friends witha woman Bullshit.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
That means, you have no self-discipline.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
Yeah, I would like to find a man that I could be
friends with, but I have not yetover the over the years,
because it's a, it's a wholething, you know, and that's
ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
I agree with you a thousand percent If I could not
have women in my network.
You know that, like, who do youthink helps me with my foster
care foundation?
So who do you?
Think who do you think, travelswith me all over the world.
They're actually beautifulwomen because people, people
will even say well what do theylook like?
then you know like they'rebeautiful inside, and now you

(57:26):
know it's like you're losinghalf your network if you can't
control those emotions.
And so I come down to the samething on all of it.
It's like it's discipline,self-discipline.
I am not a dog.
I can control my emotionstowards a person, towards a
woman, you know like I don'thave to go into attack mode.
Yeah, I don't have to go into.
I don't know what you would doto chase women.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
You know it's like I don't have.
That mode is yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
I have self-discipline you know and
self-discipline is one of thethings that is required to do
anything amazing in lifediscipline is huge.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Discipline in and of itself is people should really
take a good look at what theirrelationship with discipline is,
because I feel like you canchange your entire life just by
focusing on your discipline, andI love that that that comes
into, because that that comesinto play with exactly what
you're talking about as well.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
I mean, that's why I use it as kind of a drastic
point.
But I believe it.
You know, it's like I've hadhuge problems in business, you
know, and it's like my staffused to look at me when
something like majorly wrongwould happen and there'd be like
he doesn't even react.
You know, I remember we had tobe a new guy in this massive
thing happened and he's likedoes this happen all the time?
Cause he doesn't even react toanything?
You know, number one, they'reall looking to me, you know, and

(58:30):
so it's going to be doing meany good to freak out.
No, I just have to sit back,solve the problem.
My dad asked me the same thingall the time how do you stay so
calm in these situations andstuff like that?
It's like because I just Istart to assess how I'm going to
fix the problem, you know, andso and that to me too is like
just controlling my emotions IfI get crazy.
I can't start to do something,it's true.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
You're not effective at that point if you do that.

Speaker 2 (58:50):
But then I think you can have too times too, you know
, because then you know I'mworking on being more open.
They've been pretty open todayyou know, and so it's, it's.
It's an exercise, you know, butyou know I could be more
vulnerable at times too, but I'mreally working on it, yeah, so
well.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Thank you so much for everything today.
I really appreciate it.
My pleasure For this week.
My may, I suggest, is going tobe finding a way that you can
make an impact.
Find something that, like Tylersaid, affects you here, affects
you here.
Do something here, get curiousabout what that looks like in
your life.
And if you have questions orsuggestions, please send us an

(59:32):
email.
Our email address is ladies atletsgetnakedpodcastcom.
Tyler, I appreciate youspending time with us today.
Really appreciate theconversation.
I think it will be helpful to alot of people.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
So absolute pleasure.
Thank you so much for having me.
Yeah, I hope some of that helpsyou.
That's been my journey you knowand so like my whole thing, and
being vulnerable is if it helpssomebody I'm willing to do it.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Agree with you 1,000% and hopefully that leads and
shows other people the exampleto do the same.
So yeah, lead withvulnerability.

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Okay awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
Thanks, Tyler.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
That's a wrap.