The Art of Feminine Dominance: Breaking Taboos and Embracing Power

In this raw and real conversation, Hilary Burton opens up about her journey from living a "vanilla life" in an unfulfilling marriage to fully embracing her power as a pediatric therapist and professional dominatrix. For years, she kept her dominatrix work hidden, battling societal shame and the double standards that often target women stepping into their sexual power.

Hilary reflects on how embracing her true self has been key to her healing and purpose. She also shares a surprising side of her work, revealing how high-achieving, masculine clients find freedom in surrender, shedding the weight of constant decision-making.

This episode goes beyond stereotypes, touching on universal themes like breaking free from childhood conditioning, why women should support each other, and the importance of self-empowerment. 

Ready to embrace your authentic self without apology?

This conversation might just be the permission slip you need.

This podcast dives deep into real, raw topics—think vulnerability, triggers, and childhood trauma. But just so we're super clear: I’m not a licensed therapist, mental health professional, or anything close. I’m just a human sharing stories, lessons, and life hacks based on personal experience and a whole lot of curiosity.

So, while you might find some golden nuggets here, this is not therapy and should never replace professional mental health care. If you or someone you love is going through it, please—seriously—reach out to a licensed therapist or healthcare provider. You deserve the real deal.

Need Help Now?
Here are a few amazing resources:

· 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Call or text 988
· NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or nami.org/help
· Therapy Directory: psychologytoday.com
· Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

The opinions expressed on this show are ours and ours alone—no official organizations are responsible for what we say (or how much we overshare).

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
I'd love to help you get vulnerable.
Let's get naked.
Hey everyone, I'm Ann.
Welcome to the let's Get Nakedpodcast, where we dive deep into
vulnerability.
In this space, we'll explorewhat triggers us, uncover the
patterns holding us back anddiscover how to take charge of
our own growth.
If you're ready to dig in, bevulnerable and face the tough

(00:29):
stuff, then buckle up.
It's time to get naked.
There are women who possess anunwavering strength and grace,
women who refuse to settle formediocrity and instead empower
others, both women and men, tostep into their authentic lives.
These women are the ones whorefuse to remain silent, the
ones who break the mold and livewith purpose, passion and

(00:50):
boldness.
They understand thatvulnerability is not a weakness
but a bridge to connection,liberation and deep healing.
By embracing theirimperfections and sharing their
stories, they create a safespace for others to shed their
shame and speak the truths thathave been silenced for far too
long.
These women are not afraid totackle the hard truths, because

(01:11):
they know that healing beginswhen we own our narrative.
Stop hiding behind the walls ofour trauma and break the
silence that has kept us small.
Their courage is infectious,inspiring those around them to
rise above the mediocrity ofexistence and embrace the power
of their own stories.
In a world that constantly pullsus in a thousand different
directions, it's so easy toforget who we truly are, but the

(01:36):
most powerful thing you can dois stand firm in your authentic
self.
You don't need to conform, tobe palatable or to fit some mold
that the world has created foryou.
Your energy, your voice andyour story are meant for those
who truly resonate with it.
You are not for everyone, andthat is okay.
The world is chaotic, messy andfull of distractions, but at

(01:59):
the end of the day, your truestrength lies in owning who you
are.
Whether your journey isunconventional or bold, it's
yours and that makes it powerful.
So stop apologizing for beingdifferent.
Let the world adjust to you.
Keep shining your lightunapologetically.
And within all of us, regardlessof gender, is the divine

(02:20):
feminine energy, a nurturing andtransformative force that is
waiting to be embraced.
This energy is about more thanjust softness.
It embodies intuition,creativity, empathy and
receptivity.
To tap into your divinefeminine power means
reconnecting with your authenticself, trusting your inner

(02:41):
wisdom and flowing with therhythms of life.
It means letting go of thepressure to be perfect,
surrendering to your soul'snatural cycles and creating
space for compassion andconnection.
When you honor your emotions,nurture your body and allow
yourself to feel the fullness ofyour humanity, you unlock
profound growth and healing.

(03:02):
The Divine Feminine is aboutcourageously expressing your
truth, choosing self-love andembracing vulnerability as a
source of power.
It's time to step into thatpower, to reclaim the strength
that lies within and let yourdivine energy guide you as you
rise, no longer living in theshadows but standing fully in
the light of who you are meantto be.
Today, we are stripping it alloff with Hilary Burton.

(03:26):
Hilary is a therapist,professional dominatrix and
feminine empowerment coach.
Welcome to the show, hilary.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Thanks for joining us .
I'd like to start with youmaybe just kind of giving us a
little bit of a story about yourjourney, what has gotten you to
here, kind of.
Whatever parts you're willingto share, the highlights of what
made Hillary from start to now?
Yeah, sure.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
And I just want to say your intro.
I so resonated with thatbecause so much of what I do is
about divine, feminine and beingauthentic and the conversation
that you and I just had aboutyou know, being open about
everything that really resonated.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
So yeah, for that beautiful Now and thank you for
being open about not only cominghere, but what you do outside
of here as well.
I think it really shines alight on the importance of doing
that for other people women andmen being able to really step
into your authentic self and notfeel like you have to fit into
a mold.
Yeah, just because there's somenormal that we're all trying to
there's not even the one.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
There's no normal.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
That's the funny thing.
I try to tell I have daughtersand they talk about like, oh
well, so-and-so's this andso-and-so's that.
I'm like no one.
That girl isn't even that.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
You know what I mean?
No-transcript, okay.
Anyway, so my story, uh, I'm anArizona native, so I love to

(04:57):
travel, but this is always home.
I love the energy of Sedona, soI am an hour and a half away
from Sedona and I'm up there allthe time.
It's just like my recharge andmy reset.
So, yeah, no, no plans to goanywhere.
I love it here, but I've been atherapist for 10 years, so I
have a master's degree inoccupational therapy.
So I worked in pediatrics and Istarted a private pediatric

(05:21):
practice in 2020.
And so 2020 was a massive shiftfor me.
So I started my practice, I gotdivorced and then I started my
dominatrix journey.
So there were so many thingsthat went into that year and,
you know, everything was reallypositive.
I mean, divorce is always roughand, you know, very emotional

(05:44):
and you have to process throughso much, but it it was a long
time coming and we were bothjust going in very separate
directions and, tied into that,I lived, you know, a very
vanilla life.
There was nothing exciting inmy marriage.
You know, we were sexless foryears, like it was just it was
coming to an end, and so I hadalways been fascinated with

(06:06):
dominatrixes and what they doand the energy that they hold,
and so I was like all right,here's my chance.
Absolutely.
Absolutely I'm going to go outand do everything that I wanted
to do, and so it's trickygetting into it, just
logistically and safety wise,and there's there's so much.

(06:26):
And so I kind of you know know,ventured out and played with it
for a little bit, but I reallygot serious about it a year
later, okay, and I went throughan academy.
It's by a professional domwho's been, you know, doing this
for decades and she's a PhD inpsychology and so she goes
through the psychologicalfoundations of why people are
interested in what they'reinterested in kinks, fetishes,

(06:46):
and the ethical, uh,responsibility of holding that
space for someone.
And so there's there's so muchthat goes into the safety and
the relationship that you havewith someone you're in a dynamic
with, sure, so I loved havingthat foundation with it and it's
very tight knit community andso before I got into that

(07:07):
locally, you know, I was tryingto find a space for myself and
it was just it's, it's notwelcoming.
So you really have to just paveyour own path with it and
figure out what is this going tolook like for me?
Who am I going to allow in myspace, in my presence?
What energy am I going to allowmyself to be around?
So, there's a lot that goes intothat, but I kept it a secret

(07:29):
for years and I felt like therewas so much, um, shame and taboo
and guilt wrapped up in it,especially as a woman.
Absolutely, men are allowed togo sexually, do whatever they
want, and it's acceptable.
But when women step out and saythis is what I'm interested in,
or this is what I want, or I'mbringing men to their knees, you

(07:50):
know, then it's a oh right,that's uncomfortable.
We don't like that, and it's,you know it, that's when we're
in our sensual energy, likethat's when, when our sensual
power and, you know, ourfeminine power and and all of
that.
So it's such an incrediblefeeling and so, but yeah, I kept
it hidden and it was kind ofthis like dark corner of my life
and my closest friends knewwhat I was into but nobody else

(08:15):
did.
And then it became this.
I kind of wrapped my mindaround it being negative and
dark and it wasn't thisbeautiful, therapeutic,
incredible experience that itcould be, because my mind frame
was around the fact that I haveto hide this.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Is it because the outside influence of other
people that made you feel likethat?

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, I feel like our business follows our personal
life journey, right?
Yes, it's true, it's totallytrue.
So I started my pediatrictherapy practice and it's all
fitness-based.
I was going into bodybuildingat that time and so all of that
was wrapped in together and Istill love what I do as a
therapist.
I still love the fitness aspect.
Wellness is very important to me, but I got very wrapped up in

(09:03):
that, and so then I was doingwellness and nutrition coaching
for women, because that's whatmy life was revolved around, and
so the more I'm doing that, I'mhelping women transform their
bodies, you know, get their dietin line.
But there was so much moregoing on and there was so much
more depth to it.
And so once I opened myself upto energetics and my feminine

(09:25):
journey goddess journey,spirituality I was like oh, this
is like, this is life changing,this is truly transformational.
And so I knew I wanted toempower women, especially
through energetics and feminineenergy, and so I was already
incorporating everything Ilearned as a dominatrix, but I

(09:46):
wasn't outright saying it.
And so I had a couple offriends of mine and I had posted
some content and they were likeI really like what you're doing
and it's kind of edgy and Idon't know why.
And I was like because it's notall out there, because I'm not
being fully authentic with that,and so that was my sign and I
was like I just need to be openabout it.
Yeah, and I'm worried about whatfor people in my life who are

(10:08):
going to say, oh, I don't likethat you do that, yeah, which it
doesn't matter.
No, no, Especially when youthink about I am not interested
in living their lives right.
Their lives are not somethingthat I, you know, would aspire
to be or to have.
I have a very different visionand so why would I take their
advice on my path, which isvastly different, Absolutely?

(10:31):
And so I worked through that.
I worked through any perceivedjudgment shame about it and I
was like this needs to be in mycontent and my coaching and what
I'm teaching women, BecauseI've learned self-worth, I've
learned confidence, I've learnedboundaries and just the energy
of literally bringing men totheir knees is like all women

(10:52):
need to have this.
We all need to know this.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
That's so excellent.
That's yeah, that's incredible,yeah, yeah.
How long do you feel like thattook to kind of work through
some of that stuff?
Because I think that that's abig, a big thing to get through
with the not giving a shit aboutjudgment, not giving a shit
what other people think about.
You know, and we live in asociety that's we encourage
judgment, we encourage otherpeople to have opinions on

(11:18):
things that's none of theirbusiness, you know.
So it is hard to not only workthrough that but then to
maintain that.
You know we were talking aboutthat for other people's opinion
of things and having that get inand weasel its way into your,
your mind.
You just don't need it.
It's, it's garbage.
But it is hard in in in the,especially with using social

(11:38):
medias, tools and and otherthings.
How, how did you work throughthat from yourself of, okay,
this is something that isshameful, right, and it
shouldn't be right, because, asfar as I'm concerned, consenting
adults, no one's getting hurt.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
If you don't like it, then change the channel you
know I say that all the time,like if this vibe isn't for you,
no problems.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
But yeah, but don't you know, shame to me is the the
biggest, like just garbage andit's around everything right.
So it's like oh, I don'tunderstand that.
I don't like.
You know, I don't understandthat I don't.
Yes, it makes you know I don'tunderstand that I don't.
Yes, it makes me feel a certaintype of way, and so I'm just
going to shun that, which is whyI'm really excited that having
you come on and just kind ofexplain that a little bit to
people because I don't know alot about it either I'm

(12:13):
fascinated just to understandkind of what all goes into that,
especially when it's like okay,what kind of, what kind of
clients is that?
Somebody that you know?
What does that guy look like?
Who is looking for that?
You know?
Does he have unresolved issues?
Does he have you know?
So there's all of these otherthings that come into it.
But there shouldn't be shamearound it on either side.
Either it's the dude that'sinterested in that or the gal
that wants to do it right,doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
There shouldn't be shame associated with that and
it's interesting because there'sjust like we're saying there's
no shame where a man is dominantand a woman submissive, like
that's expected, and they can dowhatever they want in their
bedroom and it's totallyacceptable.
But when you flip it, when it'sa woman who's holding that
power, who's holding thatpresence, then you know that's
when people are upset about it.
Yeah, absolutely, and they canchange the fucking channel yeah,

(12:55):
exactly, exactly.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Next, I mean absolutely, yeah, for sure.
If it's not for you, that'stotally fine.
So how long now?
So you started that journey in2020.
How long has that beensomething that you're doing?
Are you doing that full timefor a living?
Is that more of a side hustlefor you?
Like, what does that look likein your every day?

Speaker 2 (13:13):
I'm working up towards doing that full time.
So I still have a pediatrictherapy practice and we, you
know you were asking about howlong it took me to process that.
That was a big thing for me,because I work with kids and
separating that part of my lifeand then being open about it so
that everyone knows I do this, Ialso do this.
But I'm a medical professional,you know I'm ethical, I have

(13:35):
morals, I have values, and soit's I equate that to.
I like to go out to the bar onweekends, like I'm.
I'm a with my own life and Idon't have to be put in this box
of I'm a pediatric therapytherapist.
You know, for every wakingmoment of my life.
And so it's okay to live inthose extremes and to have that
balance.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
It is and to talk about that and have that not be
something that's shameful.
Right, that doesn't make youany less than in either one of
those, because those areinterests that you do on this
side and on that side.
Yeah, okay.
So how long ago then did youstart doing it professionally,
like after you got through yourtraining and, okay, I'm now at
the door of opening this andgoing what does that look like?

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, so, professionally, I've been doing
it for about two years, okay,and it was in the last six
months that I opened up to theentire world that I do this.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Okay, this is a new thing then.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, Excellent Good for you.
So, yeah, I've, and I love it.
It's fulfilling, it's a passionfor me.
I love the energy exchange and,like we were saying earlier,
like I'm curious, I like meetingpeople, I like knowing what
you're interested in, I likeknowing the psychology behind it
, like why, why is thishappening in your life and
helping you work through thatand having an experience

(14:48):
together about it?
Yeah, and so it's so fulfillingfor me and it is therapeutic
and you know, I want people toknow that about the industry.
So so, yeah, it took me, Iwould say once I really decided,
like I came to terms with thefact that this is my path, this
is what I'm doing.
One of my biggest purposes hereis to show women this side of

(15:10):
things, this empowerment, all ofthis energy, and so I was like
so what's the holdup?
What's the question here?
There isn't one, you know, andit's I might lose my you know
therapy patients.
That's okay.
Okay, that's okay.
My family might never speak tome again.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
That's okay.
It's powerful to hear you saythat and I think for our
listeners to to reallyunderstand when you're standing
in your authentic truth and inyour authentic power.
The rest of that doesn't matter, right, and it really does take
a big set of balls to be ableto do that, because it is like
it's scary.
You know, we were talking aboutokay, I'm starting to do this

(15:47):
podcast, and we were jokingabout like now the entire world
has seen the inside of myasshole.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
That's what I feel like, because I just say all the
things you know.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
And then I realized after the fact, like and not
that I would have tailored it,because that's part of what I've
committed to do is a podcastabout vulnerability, which means
I'm going to share what my lifeexperiences have been and I'm
not ashamed of those.
But for someone who was raisedin organized religion, someone
who is very much raised inshame-based not intentionally,

(16:14):
they were just passing down whatwas dealt to them right, which
has been going on for a long,long time but being able to work
through that and realize Idon't have to be ashamed about
the things that are in my past,that's just my story and being
willing to get up here and saythe things so that there are
people that are listening thatgo.
That lands with me, that hitswith me because I feel that same
way, and maybe that empowers oremboldens them to be able to

(16:38):
speak their truth or take a stepcloser to their authentic power
, which, once you get to thatpoint, once you got to this
point, hillary, where you said,fuck it, I'm putting it out
there, right, this is who I am.
You look like a happy woman.
You're sitting here like onthis couch, living your best
life, because you're not livingsome double life or trying to
hide something or have somethingbe dirty.

(16:59):
You know, shame doesn't livewhere there's light and there's
nothing shameful about whatyou're doing, and there's
nothing shameful about stuffthat's in my story, and so it's
like there's nothing wrong withbeing able to share that.
It's.
It's unnerving a little bitsometimes, right, because of
that.
It's not the status quo.
It's not the status quo, but Ithink it's so important to be
able to just say we're not allthis normal mold where we're all

(17:20):
trying to be the exact samething.
Let's celebrate the weird,let's celebrate my.
You know I use weird as acompliment, so please like to me
.
I want everyone to be weird,right.
I want my children to march tothe beat of their own drummers
and be weird.
I want to be weird myself andI'm not for everyone, right, and
that's okay.
Realizing that, as just a womanand a human being of everyone

(17:43):
doesn't have to like me.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
I'm loud, I'm obnoxious, I'm, you know, I'm
just you know, when I'm in aroom.
I love it, but you havepresence but I have presence and
you know what?

Speaker 1 (17:49):
I'm not, I'm not going to like, put that, damp
that down so that somebody elseis comfortable.
I don't give a shit.
If you're not comfortable, thengo somewhere else.
And vice versa, Like if I'maround somebody that I'm not
comfortable with.
Usually for me, I lean intodiscomfort, so I'm like what's?
going on over there, right, yeah, but um which is why I want to
talk more about this, becausenot that I'm uncomfortable about

(18:10):
it, but I'm definitely curiousbecause it's are are the people
that are your clients?
Are they, is it a therapy typesituation as well, or is it no
more, just fetish, or is thereboth of those kinds of things?
I mean, dominatrix is, or it is, a fetish, right, is that how
you would classify that?
Or, um, yeah, a?

Speaker 2 (18:28):
kink fetish.
Yeah, um, I would say it's morealong the kink lines.
So fetish is something that youhave to have to make yourself,
um, aroused, excited in asituation.
So fetish is kind of moreextreme, got it.
And kink is something thatpeople just enjoy, they like to
play in, got it.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
Would you say that like a kink is more okay, here's
these buckets and then a fetishis more like very specific.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
I would say so Okay, yes, okay yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
Okay, excellent.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
Yeah, I wouldn't say it's.
It's not therapy, because Idon't see them as therapy
clients, but it is therapeuticbecause I know what's going on
for them.
I know psychologically whatthey're dealing with, and a lot
of the men I see areentrepreneurs very masculine.
You wouldn't think so.
You would think it's theopposite, yeah, but no, they

(19:18):
tend to be making a billiondecisions a day, just like we
are.
We're entrepreneurs, we do thattoo, and so they want a point
where there's a blank slate,where you know it's just, it's
freedom, you're able to let goof everything, you're able to
decompress.
They lose the anxiety, right,there's no stress with that, and
so they just want to be in thepresence of feminine energy and

(19:38):
a beautiful woman telling themwhat to do, and they don't have
to make a single decision, rightand so and the beauty of that
is, when you involve thephysical aspects, the impact
play.
It completely takes you out ofyour mind and you're just
strictly in your body, and it'shard for men to get that
experience.
Otherwise, like women are more,we've been conditioned out of

(20:00):
it, we've been programmed awayfrom it, but we can more easily
like, connect with our body andtune in to our intuition and our
central energy Right.
And if we start doing some kindof movement or we're with our
girlfriends and we're dancing orwe're at the spot, you know,
we're able to tune into that.
But men have a really hard timedisconnecting and being able to
connect with their body.
And so when you're able to givethem that physical, you know,

(20:27):
sensation, stimulation, justwith impact play, then they're
able to just connect their body,let go of everything mentally,
and it's just this we weretalking about it before.
It's almost like a high of anexperience, right, because
they're just able to releaseeverything Right.
And so it is therapeutic, it ishealing, but not necessarily in
a sit downdown therapy talkkind of way.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, it's not like you finish your session with him
and then sit and go.
What did that bring up for you?
I mean, sometimes I mean couldbe.
I mean, if it does, though, Imean you're qualified to be able
to help talk through some stuff.
Do you feel like a lot of yourclients have let me back up for
a second?
I believe that we all have.

(21:10):
I haven't found anyone yet whodoesn't have trauma in some way
or another as children, right,and I think it has become more
acceptable for women to speakabout theirs, where men maybe
aren't comfortable enoughbecause it shows weakness, it
shows whatever.
It is right.
So when you have a man who'sactually able to speak about
trauma that happened to him as achild, I think that's powerful
and it's impactful, and I havepeople around me in my life who

(21:31):
are willing to have thoseconversations.
So I'm curious if you feel likethe clients that you see are
maybe people who have unresolvedchildhood trauma from just
different things.
That that's, then what kind ofyeah, you know, I mean the
question to me comes to mind oflike is this a bunch of guys
with mommy issues?
That?

Speaker 2 (21:50):
you know need to be fucking worked around right.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
I don't know and I don't know if you can even
answer that if that's what youfound or if it isn't really tied
to that some of it is and someof it isn't.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, so a lot of the the very specific, like if, if
I have someone come to me andthey say I want it, I want our
scene to play out this way, Iwant these specific things
involved, that's usually fromsome kind of trauma that they're
trying to rewire.
You know, even subconsciously,they don't even know they're
doing it, but but other peoplejust enjoy the experience and

(22:21):
the play of it and so that's notas much trauma based.
That's just, just, you know,enjoyment and excitement and
energy, and right so it.
Some of it does come fromtrauma.
Yeah, but other men are, just,you know, interested in right,
different things checking it out, yeah, just they just want to
be on their knees, okay, Ifucking love that.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
It's really, it is really excellent, isn't that fun
it is it's.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
it's really fun to fun to say too, it's one of my
favorite things to say, yeah,I'm probably going to use it
later.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
That's so excellent, okay.
So tell me, how long were youmarried before you got?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
divorced.
Yeah, so we were together for10 years.
We were married for three, okay.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
And obviously not fulfilled, because you say
vanilla and it's a boner killeras soon as you say vanilla.
The word vanilla is not whatyou want in describing a sex
life, no matter what, which youknow, generally speaking, isn't
necessarily anyone's fault.
It's just maybe the combinationof this is not my vibe, or we're
not sexually compatible, orwhatever that looks like.
Did you have interest in theline of work that you do with

(23:23):
the dominatrix stuff prior to,or it just something that came
like?
How did this come about thatyou're like I'm gonna fucking do
this regardless?
Of whether it was behind thescenes or out in public, like
what?
What led you to that?

Speaker 2 (23:33):
I think the universe, literally just dropped in my
head one day.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah, I believe that as someone who also listens to
the universe quite, quiteintently.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
I believe that yeah, and so I got together with my
ex-husband.
I was 17 when we started dating.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
So 17 to 28.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
And you know, you're, you're going to evolve, you're
going to change as a person.
We're meant to, we're meant toevolve and change.
And so, um, at that time, at 17and I got married at, you know,
24, I wasn't thinking aboutwhat is my whole future going to
look like?
And I was.
I feel like a lot of us get inthe delusion of, oh, this is
going to change, it's going toget better.

(24:09):
He's going to be the personthat I envisioned him to be, not
where he is right now.
And so you know, it's of nofault of his or mine or anything
right, it's just you change andyou grow and you figure out
what you want and you realizethat's not the life you're
living right now.
And so, yeah, I feel like itwas just like little little

(24:30):
tidbits because, similar thing Igrew up in a very traditional
household, I wouldn't say overlyreligious, but very traditional
.
I mean we never I never had aconversation with my parents
about sex.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Ever.
Yes, I know Me either.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Ever Still.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
I mean not that I want to but definitely it wasn't
addressed growing up.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
No we can't even like , we don't even say the word,
Like it is, yeah, which?

Speaker 1 (24:52):
is very different from how I'm raising my children
.
We talk about all the thingsand I want them to be able to be
comfortable with me and again,I believe that my parents were
doing the best that they could,but they didn't have the tools
to be able to talk about thatstuff, and again, I think that
feeds the shame, because it'slike I'm feeling this certain
type of way.
But what does that look like?
This doesn't you know?

(25:13):
This isn't spoke about.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
So it does make you feel like there's some shame
associated with that.
Yeah, and I had never tappedinto sexual energy anything, and
so my first experience withthat was with the man that you
know.
I ended up marrying and youknow, we were kids, we were kids
, and then to have my wholesexual experience and knowledge
and all of that wrapped up insomeone else, you know, because
I didn't even know what that wasfor me, and so in someone else,
you know, because I didn't evenknow what that was for me, and

(25:44):
so, and I feel like that'sreally typical, you know, that's
a lot of women's journey is.
We don't experience that justfor ourselves, our own pleasure.
It's doing it for someone elseor with someone else.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
And you know you feel like you are looking for this
person.
I think we've we're dealt this.
We're programmed with this pathwhere, it's okay, we're looking
for whoever our person is.
Then we're programmed with thispath where it's okay, we're
looking for whoever our personis, then we're going to pair off
, then we're going to take careof that person and do whatever
that takes to make that personhappy.
I don't remember ever thinkingabout what makes me happy, which

(26:13):
is crazy to me but I was verysimilar.
I moved out of my parents'house when I was 16, got married
when I was 18, had my firstdaughter when I was 19.
I mean, it was just there's nowho's Ann and what is she
looking for?
It was we're on a freight trainof just trying to keep our
heads above water.
Yeah, so later in life, whereI'm unpacking things and going,
what does Ann want?
What does spark that, you know,and being able to really like,

(26:36):
oh, I feel that spark ofinterest.
Let me get curious about that.
Let me explore that.
Whatever that is, it doesn'tmatter whether it's sexually or
otherwise.
How empowering is that?
to say what makes Ann tick, whatmakes Hillary tick right,
bringing men to their knees,fucking giddy up you know, I
mean just.
I know it's like seriously.
Uh, just I feel like I'mblushing right now, even though

(26:59):
I don't really get embarrassed.
I I think I think it's powerfulto be able to figure out what.
What does it for you?
On?
On any front, professionally,personally, with your friends,
owning your truth, hiring andfiring positions in your life
accordingly Right, what do?

Speaker 2 (27:16):
you enjoy, what's fulfilling, what brings you
excitement.
I feel like you know, up untilup until, yeah, the age of 30, I
was just living in like a shellof myself, right of what I
could have been, but I didn'treally know and I was, yeah, I
was living that prescribed pathof you meet the man, you get
married, you buy the house, youhave the kids, you have the job,
you know and then at some pointit's what is all this for, yeah

(27:39):
, well then, you really it.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Then you get there and you're like I think I was
sold a bill of goods, which iswhy I'm trying to explain.
It's a bunch of bullshit.
It is bullshit.
So I'm trying to like.
Part of the platform for thispodcast is to say, like ladies,
stay single.
I just want to throw that outthere also.
We don't just have to have kidsto have kids, and to do these
things, by all means, mysister-in-law, caitlin.
she has always wanted to be amom.

(28:02):
She has four beautiful children, my favorite nieces and nephew.
A thousand percent adore them.
She always wanted to be a mom.
Excellent, then do that.
But for those women that arelike they feel like they're just
being dealt this fairy talefrom Walt Disney and we're going
to go find our prince and he'sgoing to sweep us off of our
feet, fucking.
Spoiler alert, ladies thatprince doesn't exist, right,

(28:23):
he's damaged goods no offense,because we all are but he's not
capable to be able to be thisknight in shining armor that we
were promised was going to bethere at the end.
He's probably an alcoholic,that you know, farts and leaves
the toilet seat, I mean it'sjust a whole thing.
So I don't know what you'rewe're expecting, but it's like

(28:43):
we do.
We get to this point where it'slike is this, is this all there
is?
Because I got all the things.
I have the white, you know, thewhite picket fence and the kids
running around the front yard,and I'm stressed and I'm
exhausted.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
I have the dream life , but it doesn't feel like a
dream.
So what's happening here?

Speaker 1 (28:57):
I.
That's how I got with success,you know, for me, I grew up.
I grew up where I didn't havemoney and it was very important
for me to have money becausethat was freedom to me.
And so I did all the things,started the businesses that had
the, you know, did all thesethings.
I got to the point where I was39 years old and I'm looking
around and I'm like, okay, I gotthe fancy house, the nice car,
the, and I've never been moremiserable and I thought, yeah,

(29:19):
this can't be it, this I've,I've, I've gone, I've taken a
wrong path, I've gone down theroad.
You know, I took a left when Ishould have gone right, or
whatever it is, because thisisn't what I told, was told this
was going to be so, so beingable to, as, as women and you
know, young women and young menjust telling you get, get
curious about yourself beforeyou get to be where it's 40.
And I go oh, I'm just pulling myhead out of my ass or out of

(29:41):
the sand right now to finallyfigure out what's going on.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Picture to not.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Exactly.
I mean, that's what it feelslike.
It's like oh, why is this?
Now?
I'm doing this in my 40s, whichis fine, right, I mean, this is
my individual path.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
That was your journey .

Speaker 1 (29:54):
That was supposed to be for you, absolutely wow.
This is powerful because I'mexactly where I'm supposed to be
and I have all of this data tobe able to share with other
people and the balls to be ableto say the thing.
So, luckily, you know we canhave these conversations, but
yeah, I mean it's not.
You wake up and it's not whatyou thought it was going to be,
and then you go, then what?
And then what, right.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Well, and when you said, um, taking a wrong right
turn or wrong left turn, likeyour journey was supposed to be
exactly what it was.
You were supposed to go throughevery single moment of
discomfort, of frustration, ofdrain, exhaustion, mediocrity,
being miserable.
Like you were supposed to gothrough all of that so you could
be at this point and say nomore of this, like I'm not doing
this anymore.
And we have, as women, wetolerate so much, we tolerate so

(30:39):
much until we reach thatbreaking point.
And then there's there's nogoing back.
There isn't because you can'tunsee it.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
You know, it's like once, once you do, once you see
it.
It's like I'm not settling formediocrity anymore, and you
realize there's so much more outthere and you also realize that
I'm gonna love me.
First, let me get to know me.
Let me get to know who I am andwhat I want, not let me find a
man, yeah if we don't even knowwho we are and what I want, not
let me find a man.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Yeah, if we don't even know who we are and what we
want, how are we going to findsomeone?
That's a good, you know matchfor us and the whole you know
societal programming of that.
The prince is going to come,you know, take you off your feet
and fulfill you and nobody isgoing to fulfill you.
Nobody can be that role for you.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
No, and I was raised to think, not that my parents
did anything intentional, thisis just my upbringing but that
you're supposed to surroundyourself with people that make
you happy.
I didn't know that it was aninside job until I was like late
30s.
And then I'm like, oh wait, asecond, that's on me to do that.
Oh fuck, I can do that.
I can really be good at that,like I am really good at making

(31:39):
myself happy.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Now I am, I get it now and we think about all of
the disappointment with, likeprevious partners and stuff that
you expect them to do thesethings.
They don't do it.
And then we're disappointedwhen we know exactly what it
takes to you know, have pleasureand joy and excitement and
happiness.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Well, and also like set the expectations down.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Wouldn't that be lovely.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Because really, on both sides of of that, I look at
that from my previousrelationship and also just a
nice chunk of my marriage whereI had expectations that were
super unrealistic and as I'veunpacked that and figured things
out, I'm like god, that's notfair to anybody to me or to him,
right, and so it's this.
You know, I don't come fromthis place of like male bashing
because I love men.
I think they're amazingobviously you do too right so,

(32:19):
but it is interesting about thedynamics of that and just
getting curious about what theybring to the table.
What we bring to the table,because I would encourage young
men same thing figure out whoyou are before you saddle up
next to somebody that you thenare going to expect to make you
happy.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, yeah, and figure out what you want that
relationship to look like, whatyou want your dynamic to look
like.
Yeah, so many people go intorelationships and they have
these completely differentexpectations and then it's, then
it's a battle, you know, sojust be open about it, yeah no
doubt yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
So you were raised in a household that had some
religion, but not doesn't soundlike overly what.
What were the other dynamics ofthings that made Hillary
Hillary, as far as kind of yourzero to 18 life, my dad?

Speaker 2 (32:59):
is a hard ass.
Your zero to 18 life.
My dad is a hard ass.
He's a complete hard ass.
He was so, uh, yeah, he wasjust very disciplined with me.
Uh, he was present, but him andI are incredibly similar, so we
would always butt heads and itwas just literally a battle of
the wills about everything.
Him and I are both incrediblystubborn, so and determined, and
, you know, ambitious andmotivated, and so that's what

(33:21):
got him his success and why.
You know ambitious andmotivated, and so that's what
got him his success and why, youknow, I'm where I'm at right
now too.
But it also put me into a stateof, you know, masculine energy
and hyper independence, and thebiggest thing that I've unpacked
in the past couple of years isso I have an older brother, but
we're 10 years apart, and so itwas almost like I was kind of an

(33:43):
only child at that point and hewas off making his typical, you
know, college boy mistakes andall of those things.
So I felt like the pressure wasput on me to be the perfect
child, right, and so I was.
I was the perfect kid in school.
If I didn't get A's, it wasn'tgood enough, and so my worth
became wrapped around myachievements and what I could

(34:04):
show that I was good at, and soit wasn't because I exist, it
wasn't because I was kind orloving or anything like that, it
was just literally myachievements.
So then, you know, went off toschool straight away, like I did
not have a college experience,I was just in school, school,
school, getting straight A's,you know, heading a book.
And that's also the reason Ididn't have the life experience

(34:28):
to know that the person Imarried was not my person,
because I was just readingtextbooks, right, right, I never
even lived in a dorm, you know,I lived at home and then I
lived with, you know, the man.
So that was, that was my onlyexperience.
But you know, all of that mademe who I am right now.
So no regrets and I'm sothankful for all of it.
But yes, I've unpacked theperfect child, you know

(34:51):
mentality, yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
No, that's a hard one to be dealt.
I'm fascinated.
I look at different people, menand women, what their
experiences were in theirchildhoods, because I think you
know the sibling count and theorder that you are in the
sibling count and how you wereraised and if there was religion
or if there's shame, or ifthere was an open household, if
there was drug and alcohol abuse.
I think there's a lot of thatkind of stuff that really shapes

(35:13):
who you are as a human beingand I think a lot of people
don't realize that as an adultyou get to pick.
You're not just dealt whateverthat was.
If that didn't resonate withyou, then you go ahead and
reprogram or reparent whateverthat is.
That's not doesn't land for you.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, and the crazy thing is, you know, growing up
you think your parents are theexpert in everything.
Of course they are.
They're the people you look upto, they know everything, they
have the most knowledge, andthen you know, at this point in
my life I feel like it's it'skind of the reverse now to where
I'm almost like parenting myparents.
You know they're aging and it'snot to say that they're not
knowledgeable or anything, butthe world changes a lot.

(35:49):
You know and a ton, and we'rein the thick of it and they're
somewhat removed from it, and soit's coming to a realization
that they did the best theycould.
I love them, but they also theydon't know everything.
They are not experts ineverything and you know some of
the information they gave me wasnot accurate.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
All of the information I got was not
accurate, but you know I wastrying to be nice but no, none
of it was but you know, I wastalking with my friend Belinda
and I said um, so here's, here'show that went.
Two different things.
Our parents, who you thoughtwere just so bigger than life,
were just normal human beings.
So when I look back at thingsof like, okay, how old was I
when?
Or how old would they have beenwhen I was 8 or 10 or like

(36:31):
whatever, it is.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
Isn't it shocking to think about that?
It is.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
And then I put myself in that age group and think I
had no idea what the hell wasgoing on.
Yeah, and they did not have theinternet.
So, if you think about, if youneeded knowledge from someone,
you had to either know someonethat did it and was willing to
talk about it, which is a bigthing, because a lot of people
were not willing to talk aboutit.
Gatekeeping everything rightexactly, or like, where would

(36:54):
they get the knowledge?
Where did our parents?
So when they, when you say,like mommy, where does the know?
Where does the rain come from?
Well, those are Jesus's tears.
No, they're not.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
But it's like they don't have the knowledge and
when they say something, it'slike because I said so and it's
like that's not really how it is, but that's how it was.
That's how it was when we weregrowing up, because they didn't
know.
So again, they're doing thebest that they can and they're
trying to hold together somesort of you know semblance in
their house of they're theauthority figure, they're the
one that knows the most, andit's like you guys know less

(37:27):
than we do.
I know so it does.
It brings forward a lot ofinteresting dynamics for them,
them raising children, who theworld just keeps turning Right.
So, as we, as we evolve, yeah,we're, we're growing and we're
learning and we're doing all thethings, but we were not raised
with great tools.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
I don't feel like no, and there were no emotional
tools.
There was no right like.
Therapy was not a thing in myhouse.
Nobody went to therapy.
What even you know?

Speaker 1 (37:56):
what even?
Is that you need help yeah,what did emotional intelligence
look like in your home growing?

Speaker 2 (38:01):
up.
Uh, it was very limited and itwasn't really something I could
talk about.
My mom and I were close andshe's very sweet and nurturing
and loving, and so she was.
You know, it was like good cop,bad cop.
She was the super sweet sideand my dad was just, you know,
the complete hard ass, so shewould shield me from a lot of
his behaviors and outbursts andanger.

(38:22):
Um, but now looking, looking attheir relationship, she just
took all of that on herself andshe has no way to process that
now emotionally.
So now I'm teaching her how toprocess through, you know, just
just because you know her, and Iwill go out and she'll tell me
something that's going on athome, and so now I'm trying to
give her tools to work throughthat.

(38:43):
And it's, it's wild to see thatchange because you know, I'm a
kid, I'm her daughter.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
It's powerful though it is.
It's powerful to be able tohelp our parents kind of
understand some of the things,that you don't have to just
carry that shit around.
Right, I think a lot of timestrauma that happens when you're
a child.
If again, spoiler alert if youdon't address it, if you don't
unpack it, if you don't look itin the eye and and resolve it

(39:10):
and and whatever, you're justdragging it around behind you.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Oh yeah, and I didn't realize, and it will and it has
collateral damage all over theplace.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
I say it's like a wrecking ball.
Right your trauma.
So when people do this wholelike, oh that's my, you
triggered me.
You do like fix your shit then,cause it's not my job to manage
your triggers, as I won't askyou to manage mine.
Yes, that doesn't mean I'm nottriggered by things, but when
I'm triggered by something, itmakes me curious to go Hmm, why
did that hurt?
Where?
Where did that?

(39:42):
Where did that touch what?
Where does that come from?
How do I fix that?
And I think if more people werecurious like that but we're not
, we come from this place oflike, oh, I have all of these
triggers.
Well, how do you think lifeworks?
Let's just talk through thatjust for a second.
You start at birth and then youjust start collecting triggers.
So, theoretically, by the timeyou're 60, 70, 80, you just have
this whole satchel of fuckingtriggers you carry around, you
just can't be out around anybody, right?

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Doesn't that seem miserable?

Speaker 1 (40:03):
You live in isolation , right?
Doesn't that seem miserable?
We put all of this work andenergy into other people, but
not into ourselves.
We give our best to our workand to our other obligations,
things that we don't even wantto do a lot of times, yeah, but
we pay no attention to ourselvesand put work into who we are,
why we think the way that we dofix some of that shit.

(40:24):
Our mental health, our spiritualhealth, all of it, All of those
things right.
But also, how can you do thatif people aren't willing to talk
about?

Speaker 2 (40:31):
it.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
If people aren't willing to say here's the hard
shit, here I'm struggling today.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
How often?

Speaker 1 (40:37):
do you have people in your circle that say I'm
fucking struggling?
Today I said that to you, thismorning.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, I know, and which is excellent, which is
excellent, right.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Because it's, and I appreciate that, because to me,
I think when you do come and youlead with vulnerability, it
makes other people also feellike, okay, I can be human too,
instead of this bullshit whereit's like everything's perfect,
you know we're hiding behindfilters and we're-da-da-da-da,
we're not talking about anything.
That's real.
No, like I'm fucking strugglingtoday.
I could use some support.

(41:04):
We need more of that.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
And it doesn't matter if you're a badass goddess
dominatrix or if you're astay-at-home mom and you can't
handle any more things that aregoing on Like it is okay, we're
all going through it.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
And so if we're all going through it, yeah, and so
if we're open about it, then wecan support each other through
it instead of just struggling.
Yeah, and stop and stop thejudgment.
Stop the fucking judgment.
It's too much, it's too much.
We have literally builtsocieties on judging each other,
platforms on social media andall of these things where it's
just everyone thinks that that'sa free reign to give your
opinion about other people.
No one one asked.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
And it's so much negativity too.
Like why are you wrappingyourself in that negativity?
You know, and like karma is athing, yeah, Look, look the
universe feels that Look at yourown backyard a little bit.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
I was working through , uh, some things, you're
spiritual energetic.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yes, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
So I was like you know what.
I'm going to transmute all ofthat negative energy just into
positive empowerment for me and,like you know what, my name's
being brought up.
That's fantastic.
Keep bringing it up.
Yep, keep talking about me, Ilove it.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Yeah, put it, put it out there, right, yeah, yeah,
bring me that energy.
Yeah, journey Like when did youget to kind of a place where
you really are into that?
That was more of a later inlife thing for me, so I'm
curious about that.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
It was uh, I would say a year and a half ago, two
years ago, that I started to getinto it because, you know, I
grew up religious, but thatnever really clicked for me.
And it was just, you know,going through the motions, we go
to church, we do all this, uh.
And so then, once I gotdivorced, I got away from it and
I was like that's, it's justnot making sense to me, yeah, so

(42:44):
then I got into energetics andspirituality.
I'm like, ah, this is wherethis lands, I don't need to be
worshiping a male energy like we?

Speaker 1 (42:51):
are, you know the universe.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
It is creator energy.
Yeah, it's feminine.
Yeah what?

Speaker 1 (42:56):
what sparked that?
For you, just out of curiosity.

Speaker 2 (42:58):
If you're willing to share, yeah um, I'm gonna have
to think about it okay.
Okay, I was.
I was seeing an incrediblehypnotherapist.
She is like this woman, she'sshe's not from here, yeah right,
but she's a business coach,she's a confidant, she's a
therapist, she's ahypnotherapist, she does
everything.
She's reiki, she doesenergetics, and so I would come

(43:20):
in with these questions and I'mlike, you know, I don't really
know where I fit with this and Idon't believe this, and so she
would just put ideas out thereand I'm like, oh, that's it,
that's what resonates with me.
And so she kind of helped me.
You know, come into that andfigure it out.
What you know, what feels likeit fits with me.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
Yeah, so yeah, I love that, yeah, yeah.
It's interesting because whenyou get sparked by whatever it
is, for me it's oh that thatresonates with me.
And again after you've spentyour whole life with.
Okay, I know that doesn't, butI didn't have anything that did
you know?
So I was raised very organizedreligious, with different
religions over the course of myupbringing and that definitely

(44:01):
didn't resonate.
And then I was just very, I wasan atheist for a long time
because it was.
I don't believe in anything.
I don't think that there's likesome magical fucking heaven
place with streets of gold orsome hell where we I just I
didn't believe in any of that.
You know and now just myunderstanding and my belief in
the spiritual and energeticworld and the cosmic fabric and

(44:24):
all of the things that tie ustogether.
It's like it's not a mysterythat there's these things.
People can say they'recoincidences and I just don't
believe in that.
It's not a coincidence.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Not at all.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
And so I believe that .
So when the universe servesthat up to me, I'm like, oh, I
can't wait to see what's goingto come from this, it's so
exciting it.
When the universe serves that upto me.
I'm like, Ooh, I can't wait tosee what's going to come from
this.
It is I literally.
I start my day and I'm like,all right, put me wherever I'm
supposed to be, that I can be ofthe highest purpose, the
highest service, Right, and I'mnever disappointed.
My last, my last couple ofyears, like for me, my spiritual
journey started when I gotsober eight years ago from

(44:55):
alcohol and I started at therehab that I went to.
They had Reiki, they had breathworks, they had these things.
That was just like.
Okay, okay, this is like reallyresonating.
And I came home and I didn'treally start diving into
anything right away.
I was more just trying to getmy life back together.
But then when I did startdiving into that, it was just
like this is so amazing for me,it just landed in it.

(45:17):
Just everything that I continueto do to explore, that is yes,
this is, this, is everything.
And then I just have surroundedmyself, you know, the universe
has put all of these amazingwomen in my path, where they all
believe the same stuff,obviously different, different
parts of their journey ordifferent beliefs, but in that
same, believing in creator, uh,god, universe, but not in a

(45:38):
religious way.
You know, for me it wasorganized religion.
That's what kept me away fromspirituality.
For so long, because I thoughtthey were the same and it was
off-putting it was and I thought, like religion and spirituality
are the same.
And, oh my god, how could Ihave been more wrong?
Like, obviously they'recompletely different.
Everyone knows that, but wedon't know.
I didn't know, and so we'reasking our parents.
Yeah, yeah, so exactly whodon't have internet.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
We have 1940s knowledge that we're going off
of.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Oh my, God, it's so terrible.
Well, and like, I don't know ifyou talk with your parents
about how they were raised orthe things that their parents
handed down to them, becauseit's literally just a copy of a
copy of a copy, and again,newsflash.
The original was not great.
The original was not great.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
It was rough it was real rough.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
I mean, I talked to people about, just you know,
women and our, our place rightnow in in society, as far as how
far we've come and all of thesethings.
It was not that long ago wherewe couldn't have our own
mortgage, where we couldn't youknow, we couldn't vote like for
our young girls.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Get your fucking heads around that it wasn't that
long ago, 1970, wasn't it like50 years ago?

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yes, so you know, I keep meaning to do like a
timeline, a little bit of justthe progress that has happened,
because I think a lot of peoplealso get twisted up in.
We still have so far to go, andI agree with that, but let's
also acknowledge how far thewomen that have fought before us
have come right they're stillhere and there's those women are
our mothers.

(47:04):
Those, those women are ourmothers and our grandmothers and
and thank god that they werestrong enough to do shit like
all of the things that it tookto fight for I know me too right
, let's honor those women.
Let's not like, oh, we can'tbelieve that we still don't have
whatever.
We have some pretty cool shit,right, and think about how long
things went Before any change,before any change.

(47:25):
Right, like cavemen werehitting women over the head and
dragging them back to theirfucking caves.
Talk about non-consent.
Oh, my God, we didn't have anychoices in any of that.
Even just think about birthcontrol and my mom.
We were raised Catholic.
She didn't have choice, likeshe had five of us Shoot me.
I mean, thank God, I think shelikes all of us.

(47:47):
It's a little too late.
The cat's out of the bag on thatone, but it's like I can't
imagine not having control overhow like my parenting and my
planning of how I want to havechildren and stuff like that and
what you want your life to looklike it's your life.
Yeah, and we didn't used tohave control over that?
No, not that long ago.
Yeah, so again, being able toreally acknowledge those women,

(48:10):
acknowledge the work that wentinto it and also do the work
that we're continuing to do.
You know part of what you'redoing with Women, empowerment
and all of that same thing.
For me it's.
I want to share the knowledge,I want to talk about the things
that I think are shameful topeople, because there's no shame
, you get to create the shame.
It's the same thing with, like,giving somebody your power.
Yes, you give them your power.

(48:30):
They don't take it.
Yeah, I don't think peopleunderstand that.
It's like when you feelpowerless, you've given that to
them, so understand that you canjust take that back.
I think so many people get tothe point where they feel so
defeated, you know, they feellike, oh, I don't have this, I
don't have that and whatever,and it's like, yeah, but those
are your choices, yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
You're giving energy to that.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
You've done that and once you realize that you can
just take that back, you canmake your decisions.
You can step out of a shittymarriage if you want to.
Yes, you can own your own truthand say and nothing against
your ex-husband at all rightbecause it's like, but you can
change that at any time.
You get to do that.
And again, like from, I wasraised to think you get married,
you stay married and I couldhave stayed married to my first

(49:10):
husband forever.
And I look at my oh god, itjust makes me literally having a
physical reaction.
So sorry, it's just oh.
I just can't even imagine whatmy life would have been.
I know, I know it's so sad.
It is sad.
I've been married to my husbandnow for 20 years and my husband
is the biggest Anne fan.
You know he wants me to dowhatever makes my heart happy.

(49:33):
See, we love that.
Yes, and he wants me to do like, like he is the biggest
supporter of that.
Uh, but first husband not somuch.
So.
So you know, if you findyourself in a marriage where
you're sitting there going, thisis terrible.
Ladies understand that there'sa way out of that and it doesn't
matter if there's kids involvedor what your circumstances are
and whatever it, if you knowthat it's not going to get

(49:53):
better and your gut says thatand there is no shame, there is
no guilt in that, and you canliterally change your mind any
day, for any reason yeah, youcan change your mind any day
about anything, absolutely anyreason.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Absolutely, I don't want this anymore.
This isn't for me anymore.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, it's simple, not easy not not easy, but but I
think if we were, if we aswomen were more willing to set
down the judgment, set down thebullshit and be able to support
somebody.
You know, if you see a momwho's going to the grocery store
and her hair is all fucked upand her kids are screaming and
whatever, everyone's looking ather like who's this wackadoo?
Maybe offer her a littlesupport.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Can I help you with?

Speaker 1 (50:28):
something.
Yes, wouldn't that be such abetter world if we were actually
able to really see it from thatway, instead of you don't know
what happened.
She could have just found outthis morning that her fucking
dad died.
Who knows, we don't know whatother people are going through.
Let's connect and support eachother in a way that's powerful,
instead of beating each otherdown.
I know I don't understand whyit's taking women as long as it

(50:50):
is to really support each other,because there's so much
competition like grosscompetition between women and I
don't love it.
I just think I'm not interestedin being around that kind of
energy at all.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Well, it's not feminine energy and it's not
self-worth right, and there's somany insecurities tied in all
of their being but in finding apartner.
So those women are competingwith each other for men, which
is the exact opposite.
Men are here to compete for us.
Men are here to compete for thefeminine energy.
Right, we're okay by ourselves,do we love men?
Yes, we love masculine energy.
I love a provider, love aprotector, but also I am

(51:23):
perfectly happy by myself.
I enjoy being single, I amfulfilled, I have passions, I
love what I do, and so I am notout here seeking that and I
don't need to compete with otherpeople for that.
Yeah, and so that's.
That's where it gets mixed up,right?
Because women are in theirmasculine energy with
insecurities, they're unhealedand they're literally going
after other women to get to thatman.

(51:44):
That is never going to work outanyways.
No, because if you do get thatman, he's in his feminine energy
, he thinks he's God's gift tothis planet and he's going to
expect you on your knees.
It's, you know, it's not.

Speaker 1 (51:55):
It's a different dynamics.
It's not the vibe Ladies?

Speaker 2 (51:57):
it's not the vibe.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
It's not the vibe for 2025.
No, no we need masculine men.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
We want leaders, protectors, providers you know
and they hold that space for thefeminine to be safe and secure
and confident and have thatworth.
But yeah, yeah, the competingenergy is ooh.

Speaker 1 (52:11):
Well, and I think a lot of it too, is for me fixing
in me the judgment and thecritical that I had was fixing
it in myself first right.
I was not able to fix beingjudgmental of other people until
I fixed it in myself because Iwas my worst.
I was the worst person tomyself.
So to be able to really realizeit starts with you.

(52:31):
Right, you have to be able tohave compassion for yourself
before you have compassion forothers.
Like it's really important tounderstand that and really put
the work into yourself to eitherunpack traumas or other shit
that you need to, or reprogramwhatever that looks like.
Put the work into yourself.
I guarantee you it pays off.
It pays off so big.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Oh, a hundred percent , and like you're going to treat
everyone else the way you treatyourself.
Yeah, so if you're, you know,talking natively if you don't
like your body, you don't likethe way you look, you don't like
your body, you don't like theway you look, you don't like
what you have going on, you'reputting that out there in the
rest of the world too, and thenyou're going to attract someone.
Yes, that also feels thosethings about themselves, about
you, about other people.
It's just a vicious cycle ofnegativity and insecurity.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Yeah, well, and that is a good point that you said
about chasing and don't chase.
Attract.
Work on yourself until you'rethat they're chasing you.
Whatever it is, it doesn't haveto be men in that situation.
It could be opportunities, itcould be whatever.
So, literally, if you just turnthat mirror around on yourself
and be willing to look atyourself in the mirror and start
working through some of thatstuff, I think you'd be blown

(53:34):
away at how amazing that stuffis and then all of those things
that are the right fit for youare coming in, yes, and then it
just comes.
It's easy.
It is easy.
I look at that and I think itis easy.
That's a.
That's a really great way tosay that, because I feel like
once I kind of got through thebulk of my stuff, I don't think
you're ever done, but once I gotthrough the bulk of my stuff
and really kind of am living myDharma and my purpose that the

(53:57):
universe has for me,everything's easy.
You know, I said to theuniverse I need women in my life
that feel the same way that Ido.
And I'm not kidding, theuniverse just sprinkles, like
recently.
Here we are.
I know I was just like wherehave you girls been hiding?
Because you're all around menow, right, and I feel honored,

(54:20):
I'm humbled to be able to sharethis journey with women who feel
the same way, who really are.
I want you to win right.
There's enough winning foreverybody.
We all have crowns.
There's not two that we'refighting over we all have our
own.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
Go ahead and work on your own.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
But I don't want people in my life that aren't
going to support me.
Right, Right, right.
I want to be able to be thatchampion for the women that are
in my life too, to be able tosupport them and say if you need
something, girl, I got you, orI'm going to be the first one to
support you, Not go.
Can you fucking believe whatshe's wearing?

Speaker 2 (54:46):
or whatever that you know that whole critical
judgment gross thing and likehow much of our life, how many
years did we spend in thatcritical, negative energy Right
Too much when we could have?
I mean, we were on this journeyfor a reason and we got here
when we got here, but you know,now being able to support each
other.
I want to see other women grow,and the fact that there are
women out there doing incrediblethings, like it doesn't get

(55:09):
talked about, how many massivelysuccessful women there are out
there doing energetics,manifestation, spirituality, and
they are so successful.
And the fact that they are outthere doing that does not tell
me, oh, they have it, I can't.
It tells me they did it, I cando it too.
Absolutely like it is here forall of us, it's possible there's
a lot of bad bitch energy goingon a lot of bad bitch energy.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
I love it, though, because I feel like it's brewing
more so than it more so than itever has.
Yes, in so many different, and Ijust think, yes, queens, let's
support each other, let's unite,let's continue to figure out
how we can empower each other.
And again, nothing against ourguys, because we all love them
too and we need to be pullingthem along as well.
Right, I feel like I literallyfeel like, as I'm growing, I'm

(55:52):
like come on, it's not gonnadefine me if you don't come, but
I'm showing you like this ispossible to not have these
shitty childhoods.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Everybody has a story , right, reconcile it so that
it's just a story instead ofsomething that rips you apart
and defines who you are yeah,you know well, there's a lot to
that about, um, you know, womenevolving, healing, women growing
through that, because we'vebeen waiting for the men to do
it, we've been waiting for mento lead and be the providers
that we want, and it's actuallygoing the other way, you know,

(56:21):
and so we just need to step intoourselves and our authenticity
and set those expectations, andthis is my worth, this is my
value, this is how I expect tobe treated, and if you don't
live up to that, that's okay.
Yeah, you might someday not myproblem not my problem, you know
, and so but when, as women, areleveling up and we're having
this huge divine feminineawakening and it was what you're
talking about you know how wemade so much progress already,

(56:44):
but like now it is, it isamplified, like it is ramping up
.
It's game on and so yeah.
So we're all out here doingthis incredible stuff and you
know it's going to raise thecollective.
I believe that to be true.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
I really, I truly believe that to be true.
Believe that to be true.
So, yeah, everybody jump on.
So, hillary, thank you so muchfor coming today and spending
time talking.
I feel like I could talk to youfor six or eight more hours,
just here.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
We didn't get to the spicy questions.
I know we didn't even get tothe spicy questions, we'll have
to have Hillary back on.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
So for this week, my may I suggest is figure out ways
that you can step into your badbitch energy.
Figure out ways that reallyempower you.
Figure out ways that you canempower each other as women.
I think it's pretty amazing.
So that's our time for today.
If you have questions orsuggestions, send us an email.
Our email address is ladies atletsgetnakedpodcastcom.

(57:32):
And then please do all thethings to support the pod Follow
, share rate and review and wewill catch you next time.
That's a wrap.
I'd love to help you getvulnerable.
Let's get naked.