The Gripping Reality of Cancer: Stories and Insights

In this episode, Mel, a breast cancer survivor, shares her deeply personal and transformative journey through diagnosis, treatment, and life after cancer. We explore the uncertainty, emotional strain, and physical toll, while also uncovering the unexpected gifts that emerge from vulnerability.

Mel opens up about the impact on her identity and relationships, the fear of recurrence, and the pressure of survivorship highlighting the power of support, community, and asking for help.

Through raw conversation and personal insight, we’re reminded that growth comes from leaning into discomfort. Join us as we embrace vulnerability, connection, and the beauty of living authentically, where every moment and every story matters. Subscribe and follow along on this healing journey.

This podcast dives deep into real, raw topics—think vulnerability, triggers, and childhood trauma. But just so we're super clear: I’m not a licensed therapist, mental health professional, or anything close. I’m just a human sharing stories, lessons, and life hacks based on personal experience and a whole lot of curiosity.

So, while you might find some golden nuggets here, this is not therapy and should never replace professional mental health care. If you or someone you love is going through it, please—seriously—reach out to a licensed therapist or healthcare provider. You deserve the real deal.

Need Help Now?
Here are a few amazing resources:

· 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Call or text 988
· NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or nami.org/help
· Therapy Directory: psychologytoday.com
· Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

The opinions expressed on this show are ours and ours alone—no official organizations are responsible for what we say (or how much we overshare).

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
I'd love to help you get vulnerable.
Let's get naked.
Hey everyone, I'm Ann.
Welcome to the let's Get Nakedpodcast, where we dive deep into
vulnerability.
In this space, we'll explorewhat triggers us, uncover the
patterns holding us back anddiscover how to take charge of
our own growth.
If you're ready to dig in, bevulnerable and face the tough

(00:29):
stuff, then buckle up.
It's time to get naked.
Today, we're going to bespeaking about cancer.
Cancer is one of the most brutal, unforgiving and devastating
diseases that robs people oftheir health, their time and
sometimes their very essence.
It doesn't care about age,gender, their very essence.
It doesn't care about age,gender or dreams.
It doesn't discriminate.
One day you're going about yourlife and the next you're

(00:52):
staring down the terrifyingreality of an illness that feels
like it's slowly eating away ateverything you thought you knew
about your body, your futureand your world.
It starts with that moment ofdiagnosis when your world comes
crashing down, a single wordthat sends you spiraling into a
whirlwind of confusion, fear anddisbelief.
No one is ever prepared forthat moment.

(01:13):
It's like everything you'veworked for, everything you've
built up in your life, doesn'tmatter anymore, because suddenly
your fight isn't about careeror family or future plans.
It's about surviving, aboutgetting through the next day,
hour, minute.
And then it becomes a full-timejob Doctor's appointments,
treatments, endless tests and aconstant battle with your own

(01:35):
body as it either succumbs orfights back.
The physical toll isgut-wrenching.
Chemotherapy, radiationsurgeries these treatments don't
just try to kill the cancer.
They obliterate your health inways that leave you feeling like
a shell of the person you oncewere.
Your body becomes a battlefieldravaged by the very things
meant to save you.

(01:55):
You lose your hair, your energy, your sense of self.
Sometimes you lose parts ofyour body or your ability to do
things that once felt so simple.
You're constantly fightingagainst something that feels
both inside of you and entirelyout of your control.
But it's not just the physicaldestruction.
It's the mental and emotionalstrain that no one talks about

(02:16):
enough, the loneliness, theisolation, the crushing weight
of wondering if you're going tosurvive or, worse, how you're
going to survive after treatmentends, because cancer doesn't
just stop hurting you once thechemo is over.
There's the fear of recurrencethat haunts your every day.
There's the grief of whatyou've lost, not just your
health, but sometimesrelationships, opportunities and

(02:38):
pieces of yourself, and thatcan feel like a second wave of
trauma, one that no one warnedyou about.
Cancer doesn't just affect thepeople diagnosed.
It affects everyone around themFamilies become caregivers,
friends become strangers as theystruggle to find the right
words to offer support, andloved ones are often forced to
face the uncomfortable realityof mortality.

(02:59):
It doesn't just disrupt yourlife.
It changes the very fabric ofyour relationships, your social
circle, your community.
People may try to comfort you,but no one truly understands
what it feels like unlessthey've lived through it.
And let's not even get startedon the financial devastation
Medical bills pile up, insurancedoesn't cover everything, you
lose time at work, you struggleto stay afloat, and on top of

(03:23):
the emotional toll, there's thiscrushing weight of debt and
uncertainty about the future,which can feel even more
suffocating than the illnessitself.
Cancer is a thief.
It steals from you in ways thatno one fully realizes until
it's happening.
It steals your peace of mind,it steals your plans for the
future, it steals parts of yourbody, your identity, your sense

(03:45):
of security.
But most cruelly, it stealstime, the time you thought you
had, time with family, time tochase dreams, time to live the
life you imagined.
And yet, in the midst of allthis.
Survivors rise, they fight,they pick up the pieces, even
when everything feels shattered.
But that doesn't mean the scarsphysical, emotional and

(04:06):
psychological go away.
They stay.
They change you.
Cancer may take a lot, butsurvivors are living proof that
it doesn't take everything.
We hold on, fight back and keepgoing.
But it's a journey filled withsuffering that shouldn't have to
be this way.
Cancer is messed up, it'sruthless and it hurts in ways
that can't be quantified.

(04:26):
It's a war no one should haveto fight.
Yet it is fought every day byso many who deserve a world
without it.
Today we are stripping it alloff with Mel June.
Mel is a breast cancer survivor, author of the book Live Anyway
and founder of a woman'sbusiness network called the

(04:47):
Burkana.
She also helps young womenembark on their business
journeys and started a nonprofitalso named Live Anyway.
Welcome to the show, mel, thankyou.
Thank you Absolutely.
I'd love to just dive in andstart talking about kind of what
your journey with breast cancerwas, talk about how old you
were and kind of a little bit ofthe overview of how that went

(05:11):
down.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yeah, I would love to .
I was diagnosed just aboutthree years ago last month
actually, okay and I found alump on my underneath my left
breast, really actually far intomy side, underneath my left
breast, really actually far intomy side and as soon as I found
the lump I just had this gutfeeling that it was cancer.
I had lost my aunt to breastcancer.

(05:32):
So I already kind of had thaton my radar and I went to the
doctor, got tests just the weekafter Thanksgiving and it was
confirmed that it was a stage 2triple negative breast cancer.
So about a month later I had abilateral mastectomy.
A couple weeks after that I hadmy first reconstruction surgery
and then I went through eightrounds of chemo, another

(05:54):
reconstruction surgery, a wholehost of things in the year
following.
Wow, yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
What does that you?
May I ask, how old you are?

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I'm 41.
Okay, so in your 30s.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Okay, 38.
Wow, that's young.
Yeah, was your aunt young whenshe also was diagnosed, or was
that she was?
Okay, yeah in her 40s.
Okay, yeah, my mom wasdiagnosed for the first time
when she was in her early 40sand then she's had it a couple
of times since then.
But I think when you're soyoung, it's almost like how can
this even be a thing?

(06:28):
38 is really really young tohave cancer.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
For sure.
I mean, I actually found myfirst lump was a swollen lymph
node on my right side at 37.
And I had to really fight toget my first mammogram that
young, and so when I went and wefound out that it wasn't cancer
, it was a swollen lymph node,it still kind of introduced me
to the whole experience of whatthat was, and it is just a scary

(06:55):
process.
We've all known somebody whohad breast cancer.
I think the hardest part sinceis that there's always a story
that I'm getting, probably daily, of either somebody who had it
and then passed, somebody whohad it and then it recurred, you
know.
So it really is one of thosethings that it really just
doesn't ever go away.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Right, right, it will be something that you deal with
forever, Because do you feellike you know in my intro a
little bit we're talking about,then you worry about that all
the time.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know it's's like is that going to come back?
Is that something that that youdeal with pretty heavy?
Yeah, I mean my first.
Every time I go in to get bloodwork, it feels like the very
first time after finishing chemo.
It just never feels comfortable, but it it's more than that.
It's almost like after I wasdone with treatment.
I became so zealous like I wasrunning out of time, like, okay,
I've done with treatment.
I became so zealous Like I wasrunning out of time, like okay,
I've got this next shot.
Before it comes back, I've gotto get this done.
To get this done, you knowreally like hitting life extra

(07:53):
hard in order to get it all donebefore I died.
And that really just hit me inthe last few months where it was
like I can't.
I can't keep living that waybecause I'm actually going to
kill myself doing that.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Right, exactly Like pump the brakes a little bit
yeah just take a pause.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, and I think, remembering the pause that I
took during chemo, I mean sooften that was the first time I
ever rested.
That was the first time I evertook my phone off.
Yeah, that was the first time Iever asked for help.
Right, that was the first timeI ever rested.
That was the first time I evertook my phone off.
Yeah, that was the first time Iever asked for help.
Right, that was the first timeI ever really reached out to my
community and and expressed thatI was struggling.

(08:34):
Yeah, and so really it was areminder over the last couple of
months that while I'm buildinga new business and a nonprofit
and trying to sell a book andtrying to get out there in the
world and give my message, itwas like why, all of a sudden,
am I going back to what I wasdoing before I was diagnosed and
trying to tackle all of thisstuff on my own again?
Right, so it's always.
It can be a beautiful reminderalso that we're not in this

(08:57):
alone, right, we don't have tobe, that we can work with one
another and support one anotherin meaningful ways if we just
are vulnerable about saying whatwe need.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
It is.
It is all about vulnerabilityand as soon as you were talking
about asking for help, that wassomething that I was dealing
with recently, where it's likewhy is it so hard for us to ask
for help?
It shouldn't, especially in themoment where you're diagnosed
with cancer and really should beable to lean on people.
Why is it still something thatwe struggle with so much to be
able to ask?

Speaker 2 (09:27):
for that I agree.
I mean, I think, for so manywomen especially and I can only
speak for women as a woman but Ithink that we're doing a lot of
what our grandmothers weren'tallowed to do, but also not
relinquishing control about whatthey were obligated to do and
be, and so, because we'recarrying so many roles, we're

(09:50):
not really empowering ourselveswith letting go and releasing
the things that don't energizeus and that don't fulfill us and
that, you know, getting helparound the house, getting help
with work, getting help in allthese different aspects of our
lives feels in some way likewe're failing if we're not doing
it on our own.

(10:10):
It does.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
It does and it's so funny because I've looked back
and thought where does that comefrom?
Where does it come from wherewe do feel like we're failing,
because when you help someoneelse or when you allow someone
to help you, it feels so good inbeing able to just be in
community with someone else.
Being able to have thatopportunity to help someone else
feel so good.

(10:31):
So why are we robbing otherpeople of the opportunity to
help us?

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Right.
I mean, I think expectationsplay a big role in this in a
massive way, and one of thethings I talk about in the book
is caregiving, and I say,instead of putting all the
expectation on one person to beyour caregiver, identify a few
different ones and I identify atleast six different caregiver
roles and ask different peopleor organizations or volunteers

(10:57):
to maybe assume that role withyou and support you in a very
specific way.
It empowers people to show upin a really meaningful way and
exactly the way that you needthem to, and also it it negates
the the chances that you'rereally imposing a lot of grief
and hardship and responsibilityon any one person, just one
person.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
Yeah, I've.
I've watched that in my in mylife actually, and some other
people that are close to me thathave dealt with cancer in their
family and they really had tostep up and take that role.
And you look at what thedevastation is for that person.
You know, you're just goingalong one day and and you find
out, you know that someone hascancer and then all of a sudden
your whole life is twistedupside down because obviously
that's the most important thingfor you to do, but in doing that

(11:39):
, like what's the cost?

Speaker 2 (11:43):
So that's genius of you to have it spread that out a
little bit so that it's not anyone person Exactly it's getting
.
Help is the number one, yeah,and the first thing is also
learning what it is that youneed to receive as help, you
know, and then communicatingthat, because there's also
another.
I probably had a one deliveryevery three or four days of soup
.
Right, it was so beautiful andso kind, but, like there's so

(12:09):
many other ways to support andto get involved in, maybe just
asking yeah, how can I support?

Speaker 1 (12:13):
you is a really powerful question.
It is.
It is I've found that in mylife of what does support look
like for you, you know, for meto be able to bring to you,
because I don't know what thatis and I'm tired of guessing.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
I'm a shitty guesser and sometimes, and sometimes
even as the patient, we'refiguring that out too.
I mean, I spent months watchingmy family fall and trip all
over themselves trying to figureout how to support me because I
didn't know what to ask for andthey didn't know what to do.
And even around the office, youknow, nobody knew how to
support me in a reallymeaningful way.
And I also didn't know how toask for help, because I was the

(12:44):
one in the office that wastasked with the person that
would do those things.
Right, right, so it really didshift the dynamic on its head,
but that really forced me totake, you know, a toll, like
really to fix that yeah, to sayokay, I just have to take one
giant step back and figure outwhat it is that I need.
And then, slowly, it started totransform.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, I think also, you know, being able to take
that step back and allow otherpeople to come in.
There was something that Iheard recently where it was
talking about the bigger theissue, the less you need to say
as the person that's bringingsupport Let me just come sit,
let me just come sit and be withyou.
You know, I think a lot oftimes people don't get involved
when other people need helpbecause they think I don't know
what to say.
I don't want to say the wrongthing, I don't want to whatever.

(13:28):
But if someone just came to youand said, mel, can I just come
over and let's just snuggle upand watch a movie, or can I just
be with you, you know, orwhatever that looks like, don't
have to.
It doesn't matter that youdon't know what to say.
You don't have to just holdspace for someone, totally.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
So I have one of the caregiver roles is actually the
awkward avoider, which is thatperson that doesn't know what to
do with your diagnosis and is alittle bit awkward and
uncomfortable around it, andthey're actually tasked with the
responsibility of justpretending like it doesn't exist
.
When I ask for us to go out,let's just do it.
Another big way was beingsupportive to my family.
I tasked certain people in myfriend group and at work and my

(14:06):
family to support my olderdaughter, to support my younger
kids, to support my husband, tosupport, you know, meet my role
in the office, and thatrelinquished a lot of stress on
my end because I knew there wassomebody checking in every day
with my kids, you know, and withmy system of support, so I
didn't feel as bad when I neededsomething.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yeah, and then you can just focus on healing you
Exactly.
Yeah, what does that look likewhen you do get that diagnosis,
when you're sitting in thedoctor's office?
Because I have a huge historyof breast cancer in my family
and I've never dealt with itpersonally.
But I am the same where Istarted getting mammograms when
I was 35, because when my momgot it she was so young and so
they say get it 10 years before.

(14:48):
You know, blah, blah, blah.
So I've been sitting in thatdoctor's office waiting for
those results and I know whatthe wait feels like.
But I can't even imagine whatthat feels like when they come
in and they say you do havecancer.
I mean, what was that like foryou?

Speaker 2 (15:02):
So mine, was a phone call and I was on my weekly
executive board team meetingwhen it happened on Zoom, and I
was in this private small officeand I got the call and I saw it
coming in as I was literallyspeaking on my Zoom and I just
took my laptop and closed it.
And I knew, speaking on my Zoom, and I just took my laptop and

(15:25):
closed it and I knew, and when Ipicked up the phone I walked
around the building of my officeand I was just listening to.
Girl on Fire was the first songthat came on and I just
listened to it on repeat and Imust have walked around that
building a thousand times justin this sort of outer body
experience.
And so initially it was Iwasn't going to let the cancer
affect me.
I wasn't going to.
So initially it was I wasn'tgoing to let the cancer affect
me, I wasn't going to let itaffect my job, it wasn't going

(15:46):
to slow me down.
This was just one more thing Iwas going to tackle and get over
and through and all the thingsand truly that worked until I
got a blood clot that actuallyalmost killed me after my third
round of chemo and my oncologistcame into the office and said
what is it going to take?
You are literally killingyourself if you don't shift how
you are living your life, and itwas.

(16:08):
I didn't want to let go of mycareer.
I'd worked so hard to get towhere I was.
I didn't want to miss practice,I didn't want to miss, you know
, vacations, and I didn't wantto miss conferences, and I
didn't want to miss meetings andall of this stuff in this life
that I had built so perfectlyfor myself.
All of a sudden, I couldn'tkeep up with it.
I couldn't keep up with thevery thing that I had dreamt of,

(16:30):
and so that was a really justharsh reality.
That hit me, you know, abouthalfway through chemo, and it
forced me to just stop.
I was, literally, I got theblood clot in my neck, in my
jugular.
Literally, I got the blood clotin my neck, in my jugular, and
I tested positive for COVID as Iwas going into the OR to have
an emergency surgery on my port,and that was when I was put

(16:51):
into isolation, essentially inthe hospital, for a week, and
not being a movie watcher, notbeing an easily distracted human
, I was forced to sit withmyself in the reality.
I was forced to learn how tomeditate.
I was forced to learn breathwork because, purely for
survival, I was going nuts inthis four walls that not even

(17:13):
the doctors could come visit mein Right.
But that became the mostmassive gift because it shifted
everything about how I lived mylife that week.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
Isn't that crazy.
You look back at something likethat and you wouldn't change
anything, obviously like, yes,it sucks, I hate that I've had
to have breast cancer, but ifyou look at the things that came
forward for you during thatprocess, would you change?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
that I'm thankful for it every day, genuinely.
I'm thankful for the cancerevery day, because it did force
me to see myself, hear myself.
It forced me to really unlockwhat my core mission in this
life is and really get down tomy purpose.
You know, I finished chemo inJune, got a divorce in September

(17:58):
, quit my job in December.
By January I was in a fullmeltdown mode, freer than ever,
but scared to death.
At least the way I was livingmy life.
Every project I picked up,every client I started working
with, every meeting I went to.
Everything I did every day wasfulfilling and part of my

(18:18):
mission or my purpose, even if Iwas struggling and scared.
And part of my mission or mypurpose, even if I was
struggling and scared.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I knew it was so right.
Isn't that crazy?
You think about all of theyears that you go through life
and you don't have anywhere nearthe stuff that you're talking
about, right, chemo, a divorce,loss of a job, all of these
things.
These are huge, big events inlife and you have big ones all
smashed into just a few months.
I mean, what does that even?

Speaker 2 (18:46):
look like it was a full, massive reset and honestly
, an incredible identity crisis.
Yeah, it was.
Who am I outside of what I cando for others?
Yes, it was.
Who am I if I'm not this orthat for this other person?
It was why am I doing any ofthis?
Yeah, it was.
Why am I doing any of this?
It was so many questions thatwe just assume answers to as we

(19:07):
grow up or we set goals and thenwe just stick with it because
we think that that's what we'resupposed to do.
That's commitment, that's rightand, yes, it's bullshit, it is
bullshit, it really is bullshit.
It's like your vault your goalscan change, you can evolve.
How many people have come up tome or messaged me that have
known me for 20 years, 30 years,that are like I feel like I

(19:27):
don't know you anymore.
I'm like you don't, yeah, right, but I'm here for you to get to
know.
Now you know, and I'm thebetter version, right, right.
I mean, the version of me 10years ago was great.
Yeah, 20 years ago was great.
It's just not who I am anymore.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah, yeah, how long were you married before you got
the divorce?
13 years, okay, wow.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Yeah, and it shifted every relationship that way as
well.
I mean, what happened when Iwas going through treatment was
again a lot of wise, you know,and really a lot of depth.
So I think it exacerbated whatdidn't work in any relationship
and every relationship I had,and it forced me to really
reflect on that.
And then time you know youmentioned time it's our most

(20:10):
precious commodity, a gift, andI don't want to waste anyone
else's time as much as I'm notgoing to waste my own.
And I hit a really a revelationwith my husband where I'm like I
can't love him the way that hedeserves to be loved, the way
that he wants to be loved, theway that he deserves to be loved
, the way that he wants to beloved, the way that he has
expressed the need to be lovedfor 13 years.
Right, if I can't provide thatfor him, why would I put him

(20:32):
through this?
Right?
If he can't be what I amneeding in this stage of my life
, why would I put thatexpectation on him?
Right?
It's knowing the differencebetween obligation and
expectation and reallycommitment, and to me that
commitment is something thatcomes out from underneath and
within us and not somethingthat's obligated onto us or

(20:54):
expected of us in some sort ofexistential way, right, right.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Yeah, I think also the pressures from the outside
of you know getting married andstaying married and all of these
things.
I think also the pressures fromthe outside of you know getting
married and staying married andall of these things, I think we
put ourselves into situationswhere we don't really take a
hard look and it may take acancer diagnosis or something
huge to happen in your life foryou to really evaluate things.
It sounds like, not only inyour relationship with your
husband but with otherrelationships in your circle of

(21:19):
is this working for me?
Because it does throw it rightin your face how precious life
is and how much of a gift it is,and live accordingly you know.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, you definitely know.
I mean you take a when yourenergy is depleted.
It really does wake you up towhat's working for you, because
you don't have a lot of energyto waste.
Yeah, and I really learned howmuch of my energy I was just
leaking out of me to anythingand everyone that just wanted
something from me, and once Iremoved that, I found that I was

(21:50):
so much more efficient and somuch happier, well, and you can
use that energy on things thatmatter to you instead of it just
being not intentional, notbeing aware of it and just
throwing that energy around.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
I have a.
I have an analogy where I callenergy Skittles because it
quantifies it to me in a waythat I can visualize it.
You know, I got to this placewhere, eight years ago, I was at
the bottom of you know, I wasat kind of my point of just
giving energy and shit toeverybody that didn't
necessarily deserve it and notreally evaluating my
relationships and all of thosethings, and I had to get very

(22:23):
intentional about what am I?
What the hell am I doing here?
I was a.
I was a young mom.
I know that you were a youngmom as well and I think when you
do that, you kind of go intosurvival mode a little bit,
where you're not figuring outwho you are during that time.
You know my, my late teens andmy early twenties were not.
Oh, let me, let me explore, letme be adventurous, let me.

(22:43):
Whatever it was, I'm puttingpampers on babies and making
sure that I make enough money tokeep formula in the kitchen.
Oh for sure.
I mean, those are totallydifferent circumstances in life.
It wouldn't change a singlething.
But I definitely look at peoplewho have a better idea of who
they are.
I had no idea.
I had no idea.
I had no idea In my 40s.
It has been okay.

(23:04):
Let's figure out who Ann isBecause of you know, the things
that have happened in my lifethat have now opened my eyes to
things and made me realize allof those things that we were
working for.
I checked all those boxes, youknow.
I got to all that place and Irealized none of the shit
matters.
You know, this big fancy houseor this fancy car, like all of
the shit, it's like none of thismatters.

(23:25):
And I've always been happy.
Like you said, 10 years ago, Iwas a good person, you know,
happy, all the things.
It wasn't like I wasn't a goodperson and happy and all of the
things.
But I get to this point wherenone of that shit matters.
Right, I want to take care ofpeople.
I want to.
I want to share knowledge thatI have.
I want to help people.
You know you're in a businesswhere you help other women start
businesses and do that.

(23:45):
That's so empowering, like puta price on that how good that
makes you feel.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
I mean it's, it's incredible.
It makes me feel like all thesedifferent stages of life that
I've had have really set me upfor where I'm at right now,
including being a young mom.
You know, I was.
I became a mother at 17 andthere was so much that I learned
in that quick little bit oftime about you know what it
meant to achieve and what itmeant to, of course, survive,
but really how to set goals,accomplish them, get after it,

(24:14):
not quit.
You know, pursue every day,getting after what it is that I
wanted, but really like for me,it's that commitment to
supporting myself, you know, andwhen I work with young women in
business now, it's figuring outwhy it is that they're starting
their business, you know.
And then how to like set thefoundation, how it is it, you

(24:37):
know, as a young business owner,of all the times we're wearing
so many hats.
And so my first question withany leader, whether it's a brand
new woman in business or anexecutive that is running a $200
million business, it's thereare a lot of times wearing a lot
of different hats, figuring outwhat is it that their
superpower is, so that theyisolate and they're only doing

(24:57):
that thing and then delegatingthe rest.
Yes, it's that proverb thatdelegate to elevate, you've got
to delegate to elevate, you'vegot to delegate to elevate.
So how do you do delegate?
A lot of times we're delegatingthe tasks that are easiest to
hire, as opposed to the tasksthat we just don't want to do or
that don't energize us.
So the first thing that I haveevery client of mine do is take

(25:18):
a tab.
You know, over the course ofthe next month and every day at
the end of the day, whatenergized you the most and what
de-energized you the most.
How can you delegate whatde-energized you and how can you
really own what energized?

Speaker 1 (25:33):
you yeah, well, and you have to make space too I
didn't realize this until morerecently of making space for the
good stuff to come in.
I just was thinking, okay, well, I'm just going to keep doing
all of these things, and thenevery time I would do things
where I'm making space for goodstuff to come in, it would just
come in and it's like that'smagic.
And it's not magic, but it is.
You have to be willing to takethat hard look and say, yes,

(25:54):
sure, I can do everything.
I can put on all of these hats,I can scramble like a lunatic
and try to keep up witheverything.
Or, like you said, evaluatingthose things that do not
energize you, because when youdo bring that energy, other
people you know thrive on thatas well.
That's where it's at figuringout what sparks you.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
So I've been an integrator for an within a
business, for theentrepreneurial operating system
, many, many times in so manydifferent businesses, and what I
have found is that, you know,when we are able to really hone
in on our unique ability andreally harness that within our
business, we can grow and scaleexponentially.

(26:35):
We are literally unstoppablewhen we find a way to leverage
our actual superpower.
It's just connecting with whatit is, and there are so many
different tools you know thatyou can use in order to fine
tune it, whether it's humandesign or wealth dynamics or EOS
or strategic coach all thesedifferent programs that I've
just had the luxury ofexperiencing throughout my

(26:57):
corporate career that haveallowed me to really connect
with and harness that.
If my superpower is in buildingnetworks and connections,
because that's just what I loveI love connecting with others,
figuring out what they need outof you know in their business
and then how to connect themwith what it is that they're
missing.
But when you can really finetune whatever that is, it's so

(27:19):
empowering and invigoratingBecause now you have a purpose
and now you have a value, and Ifind that that's the biggest
crutch for so many women inbusiness in all levels.
It's really identifying whattheir value is and it's how they
value themselves and then howpeople in their industry value
them.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah, so you say your superpower is the networking
and the connection.
Am I reading that right?
Okay, so when you're, were youdoing that at all in your
previous career, prior to yourcancer diagnosis, or was that
also something that you weredoing then, or something that
you're just now doing, after thefact?

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, I was a marketing executive for a legal
advertising company, okay, andreally my focus in marketing has
always been through communityoutreach initiatives.
Focus in marketing has alwaysbeen through community outreach
initiatives, so my heart stringsare always attached to local
businesses and local nonprofitsthat are serving the community.
So I just found a way toconnect ROI to those businesses
and then how to make them partof an integrated marketing

(28:17):
strategy.
So for me, it's a way that wecan grow and scale our
businesses by connecting andcollaborating with others.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, yeah, oh, I love it so much, it's so
excellent.
I think if more women reallyplugged in and spent time
figuring out more aboutthemselves, what makes them tick
and what is their superpower, Ithink it would blow people's
minds because I feel the exactsame way.
I feel like I did things for somany different years that were
like okay, this is the nextthing and I just need to be
doing this, which is fine.
I can grit through anythingthat's you know.

(28:46):
You get into fight mode and youjust do Right.
But when you do figure out whatis your superpower, energy just
flows and it comes off of you.
Even when I met you, yourenergy is amazing.
It's your, you're happy, you'redoing what you, you know what
you love.
The rest of it falls into place.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
You know, when I first got divorced I wrote on my
mirror I'm going tointentionally walk into my power
.
I had no idea what that evenmeant and at the time I thought
walking into my power meant Iwas going to be this boss, bitch
energy and go out into theworld and I was going to
dominate, build my empire, allthe things.
I had no idea that walking intomy power actually meant walking
into my softness.

(29:22):
Yeah, it actually meant chillthe fuck out.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Exactly, exactly.
Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 2 (29:27):
Yeah, it was just like, really, and harnessing the
part of me that I didn't evenknow could be my main career,
which is just connecting andcollaborating and networking
with other women in business.
That now is my job.
Right, that's what my businessdoes and that's what I would do

(29:47):
for free, any day or night ofthe week.
Yeah, you know, because I meetsomebody that's in business, I
meet somebody that's doingsomething and I'm like, oh my
gosh, you know who you've got tomeet.
Yes, and knowing that we'remaking those connections and
it's empowering your mission,it's empowering her mission,
everybody really does win.
So if we can create more andmore of these win-win, you know
scenarios, yeah, and debunk thewhole competitive women

(30:11):
situation.
Because, no, if we've learned ashortcut, we share it.
If you have a connection, youconnect it.
If you have a network thatwould benefit somebody, you
build it.
It's just that's.
That's our responsibility aswomen, as we've grow up and I
think that's where my heart iswith the younger women that are
just building, because it'sidentifying.
You know their brand.

(30:31):
A lot of them are trying tofigure out their brand.
I'm like, no, you're it.
Yeah, you just have to learnyourself and then your brand
will constantly evolve as you do, yeah, and it doesn't have to
be some sort of outside energythat you're imposing on yourself
.
It is who you already are.
And then, once they really seethat and then they put value
attached to that, it's somagical to watch them grow.

(30:53):
And then you take the seasonedprofessionals, the women that
have been in business for a longtime, and you give them an
avenue or a capacity to giveback to other professional women
, you know, in a meaningful waythat really does generate, you
know, fulfillment for them aswell.
It's so powerful.
So it's older executivesconnecting them to nonprofits
and it's younger businesswomenand connecting them to mentors.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah, I think that whole.
There's a concept that I'vebeen thinking about for years of
just like a, like a modernelder.
You know we used to very muchvalue, you know, our, our older
people and I.
I feel like we've gotten awayfrom that so much and there's so
much knowledge to be gainedfrom that.
So you connecting those peopleis just absolutely genius.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
And I find that the women that have been in business
a long time, they are also usedto a lot of things being
imposed on them, and so one ofthe things that I that I like to
do when I work with themindividually is in their own
inspiration, who are the youngerversions of you and how can you
support her?
Because that's something thatreally means something to you.
And so, instead of just pullinga name out of a hat of a

(31:57):
nonprofit or a person thatyou're going to mentor, it's no.
When is the first time that youreally struggled and somebody
showed up for you?
What is the first time youreally broke through that
financial barrier?
What is the you know first?
You know networking event whereyou actually made a deal,
finding the little places intheir life where they pivoted.
Then helping them serve thatversion of themselves is so

(32:21):
powerful because they'reconnected, you know it's so
meaningful, and then you show upfor that all day long.
Right, a lot of them arealready donating to those
organizations or doing somethingin some capacity.
Right Now it's just connectingtheir career, you know, with
that more intentionally.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
I love that so much and I love also what you said
about taking out the competition.
You know, I think so many womenspeak like we're women
supporters, we this and that andwhatever, and then somebody
will walk out the door andthey're judging and being gross
and all of that stuff, and it'slike I believe that that comes
from a fear and an insecurity inthat person.
And I feel like, as women, weneed to take a bigger look at

(33:01):
that, because we are meant tosupport each other in a way that
is meaningful.
We are meant to lift each otherup.
We are not meant to be incompetition in that way.
And I feel like, even with allof the stuff that we have going
on, you see all of the go women,all women, empowerment, all of
these things but then you hearthat other stuff behind the
scenes that happens and it'sjust ladies.

(33:25):
We are better than that.
We are.
We are supposed to lift eachother up and not in a way that
we're trying to kick each otherdown behind each other's backs.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
It's a really powerful mirror.
You know my very deargirlfriend, sue Bryce.
She runs a whole source ofresources for women in business.
She's a dear friend of mine, amentor.
She's been a client for a longtime.
She taught me the mirror effectand it really turned it on its
head to me.
And it was anytime that you seesomething in somebody else it's

(33:49):
always a reflection of you.
And she really called me out onit when I was first going
through my divorce and I wasjust feeling all of those
victimized feelings right, he'sthis, he's that.
I can't believe this ishappening.
Blah, blah, blah, all of thethings she's like.
So she really turned it on itshead.
And if I was upset with him forthe control, right, where was I

(34:10):
being controlling?
Or where was I giving my poweraway willingly Because it gave
me whatever I needed in thattime she really forced me to see
what I was resenting in him, inme, so that I could fix it.
And it's true in the case ofwomen in competition as well.
If you're jealous of somebody,that just means you want what
they have, so go get it.

(34:30):
If you're envious, that's justgiving you a really good piece
of information that that'ssomething that you aspire for.
Now you have a I want listRight Now.
Go get it Right, right.
There's no reason why.
Turn that person into yourmentor.
Yeah, make that person yourinspiration, not somebody that
you're trying to tear down,because there's enough for all
of us.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
Right, there is enough for all of us, and I
think that that's a big conceptthat people need to kind of get
their heads around, because wedon't have to be this way.
We can be supportive andamazing and all of the things.
How do you deal with fear asyou've gone through all of this
right?
Obviously the fear of cancer,but then the other side of that,
of really just putting yourselfout there.

(35:10):
What does that look like Like?
What is fear like for you?

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Fear to me really hit me in those months after I quit
my job, when I started toreally feel the reality of
instability.
And it was what have I done?
And I felt like I was sittingin this desolate desert and I
was in a really, really darkplace.
It was the first time I hadideations.

(35:35):
It was the first time I wasdepressed, it was the first time
I didn't want to get out of bedand I was just genuinely I was
ready to give up in many ways.
And I woke up one morning and Ijust thought if I have nothing
to lose and I'm willing to dieanyway, let's go for it.

(35:58):
And I haven't turned back since.
And I do remember that moment,especially in the hardest
moments, and it's if I havenothing to lose, then let's go
for it.
Am I afraid of recurrence?
Of course, but if I havenothing to lose, I may as well
go for it.
If it's going to come back,it's going to come back.
But also a big piece of me hastaken on to the healing, a big

(36:22):
reason why all of my events, allof my retreats, all of the
things that I host are centeredaround women's health and
wellness.
Because, truly, if we don'theal ourselves emotionally and
psychologically, then that isgoing to increase our chance of
recurrence.
If we're creating stress in ourbody or we're letting it sit
and manifest in resentment, youknow that will only make the

(36:45):
chances of recurrence higher.
So it's really how do we takecare of ourselves?
How do we center ourselves?
How do we find peace in momentsthat are really stressful?
So in the book I talk aboutbreathwork Powerful.
The first step for getting outof fear is breathwork.
Just access another level ofconsciousness in your own body.

(37:06):
You don't need any money for it, you don't need anybody for it,
you don't need any certainsituation.
You can be anywhere and you canjust breathe.
And the next piece ismeditation.
I started with guidedmeditations, like small
10-minute guided meditations,and then, when I was locked in
the hospital for a week,meditated for a week.
I meditated for a week and thenI got into frequency music and

(37:28):
really how that helped mechannel the writing.
That's when I started writingintentionally.
Visualization Sometimes all youcan do is create an alternate
reality for yourself.
What do you really want?
Gets you excited about thefuture?
You know, I realized that I hadbeen in survival mode so long.
I stopped thinking aboutbecoming anything?

(37:49):
Yeah, because I was not sure Ihad the time to become anything
other than what I was in thatmoment.
And so visualization gave methe capacity to be excited about
something or a goal to movetoward.
That gave me a reason to makethat first step.
So, learning the visualization,or manifesting as everybody's
calling it, but it really isjust having a picture in your

(38:11):
head of what you want, and Iremember the first time that
that really hit me is, I caughta glimpse of myself getting out
of the shower.
I was about halfway throughchemo and I was swollen from the
chemo and I had scars all over.
I was bald, my eyes lookedtired, I'd lost all my lashes,
all the things, and I didn'trecognize myself and I paused
and it took my breath away in alot of ways, and I walked closer

(38:35):
to the mirror and, like yousaid earlier, that shell, I saw
my soul, and for the first timeI just couldn't stop looking and
I felt this fierceness, likethis lioness almost, and that
raw, uncomfortable, ugly, tiredwoman that was staring back at

(38:55):
me was actually so fierce and sostrong and so determined and so
like determined to to dosomething.
You know that I realized therest of me was a shell, so I had
the capacity to fill her upwith what and how, and with who.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
It's such a beautiful place when you get to that it's
almost like a, it's a reckoning.
It is it's almost like a lowpoint, but in such a beautiful
way, because when you weresaying that just now, I have
full body chills listening toyou talk about that, because I
don't think we realize howstrong we really are until we're
being called to do that.
And when we do, it's just let'sfucking go.

(39:36):
You know, that's that'ssomething in my soul that just
comes out when I have this placeof let's fucking go.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
You know we've got this, it doesn't matter, and it
just lets everything else kindof fall away and and and we'll
make it happen, whatever it isexactly, and it is that whole,
you know, there's a balance,right of the like getting after
it and knowing what we want, andthen also of the like getting
after it and knowing what wewant, and then also the not
killing ourselves to do it andbe it right now or yesterday,

(40:04):
you know, and to enjoy thejourney.
I also realized, and even in thelast six months, I got so
determined on building thebusiness, building the nonprofit
, selling the book, writing thenext one, all the things that
I'm like I'm not even enjoyingthis process anymore because I'm
just putting all of theseexpectations of what it means to
succeed or to achieve, even ifmy mission is still aligned and

(40:25):
exactly what I want.
How can I enjoy this processthat I'm in right now a little
more, you know, and that'sreally where I'm at now, and
that's the surrendering, yes,that's the pausing, yeah.
And that's still so determinedbecause, yes, that's the pausing
yeah.
And and that's still sodetermined because you have to
actually be so connected to yourpower in order to surrender.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
It's.
It's crazy.
When do you feel like?
What was your first surrender?
Do you remember when that, whenthat kicked for you, it was in
the hospital.
Yeah, for sure it was when Igot the blood clot and it was.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
I was so scared and I had just lost a girlfriend to a
blood clot six months before Igot my blood clot and she was in
a surgery and when I went intothat OR and uh, I just I just
remember that feeling that thiswas it, I thought I was going to
die in that surgery.
I was convinced, and when Ididn't, it was like okay, but it

(41:21):
almost felt good to acceptdeath.
Yes.

Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yes, I know exactly what you're talking.
I know exactly what you'retalking about Because to me
that's part of the surrender is,I got very unafraid of
everything because it justdoesn't matter.
When you realize that it's notabout you, that it's, you know
just this beautiful cosmicfabric, you know that ties us
all together and it changed myperspective entirely as far as

(41:45):
just being of service and inservice to the people around me
and really surrendering andsaying to the big guy put me
wherever you want me to be.
You know like waking up in themorning and saying put me
wherever I'm supposed to betoday to be of the biggest
service.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
Wow, exactly what you know, like waking up in the
morning and saying, put mewherever I'm supposed to be
today to be of the biggestservice.
Wow, exactly, and honestly,surrendering to death is the
same thing as surrendering tofailure, because so often we'd
rather die than fail.
Yeah, and I think that when wedo that and we really come to
that place where we are willingto fail yes where we're just
throwing it to the wind, or ifit's a failure, it's maybe a,
you know, a redirection, yeah,and if it's a redirection, then

(42:20):
that means there's somethingelse that's better for you in
line, yes, and, and that's sotrue, and I think what you said
about just being part of thatgeneral being, when we realize
that we're all interconnectedand that was it for me, it was
I'm not building my network yeah, my goal is to connect all of
our networks, right, so everysingle woman who has a community

(42:41):
or has a network I want toconnect with, because that
collaboration makes ourindividual missions so much more
powerful Every single womanthat comes into her door or my
door means that she's nowsupported, right, and that's the
goal it's in.
Now her mission is supported,yeah, and it's constantly
elevating each other.
Together, we really do elevateand even though that is such a

(43:05):
you know, cliche, it's true.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
It's so true, and when you're part of that and you
realize that it just it feelslike magic.
It really does.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
And those relationships are no longer
strategic or opportunities.
Yes, now they're connections.
Yes, and that it's a wholedifferent game changer.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Yes, now they're connections, and that is a game
changer.
It's a whole different vibe.
You know, before for me it wasall about me.
You know, the ego was on.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
I think, especially as a young mom.
Yeah, because as a young mom, Iremember I was told well, now I
was told at 17, when I waspregnant well, being pretty
isn't going to be good enoughnow, because you have baggage,
so you better get yourself aneducation.
Yeah, okay, I mean, I heardthat, but now that meant I've

(43:49):
got to overachieve in order tobe valuable.
That now my value is tied to myproductivity or the fancy,
expensive pieces of paper I puton my wall.
Yeah, right, no, like my valuewas intrinsic, whether or not I
had responsibilities or not.
It's just, at 17 years old Ididn't have any connection to
that intrinsic value.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah, At all.
It's crazy to me look at youngmoms specifically and kind of
look around and I see theevolution of that and it makes
me so happy to watch women thatare in our forties or later in
life, after we kind of getkiddos a little bit raised up
and whatever, where we realizesome shit about ourselves shit
that.

(44:30):
I didn't have time to figureout.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Oh my gosh, my 23 year old daughter is so wise
it's beautiful, you know, and somuch of my healing has been me
apologizing to her Like, hey,sorry about that, sorry's
beautiful, you know, and so muchof my healing has been me
apologizing to her like hey,sorry about that, sorry about
that, sorry about that.
And she's like mom.
Come on, you know she studiedpsychology in college and I'm
like you know that's the mostamazing thing that you did was
you spent your college careerhealing and that gave us both

(44:55):
the platform and the environmentto heal so that I could own and
apologize for the things that Idid.
She could process and evolveout of what happened, you know,
to her and to us as she grew up,because you know she's my first
pancake and you always burn thefirst pancake a little.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
I love that you say that, because I swear to God, my
first pancake and I are in theweeds right now because she's
dealing with some stuff.
She came on the podcast and itbrought up a lot of stuff.
You know, I, since gettingsober, have been very open with
her about my shortcomings forthings, because I was a baby
when they sent me home, as youwere too.
You're leaving from thehospital and here's this thing

(45:35):
You're going to.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Let me leave with this thing Exactly.
I'm like are you crazy?
Like, and here's this thing.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
Good luck.
You're going to let me leavewith this.
Exactly, I'm like are you crazy?
Like this is a terrible plan.
You trust me?
Exactly, we're not settingourselves up for success at all,
you know, and so you know,having her be the first pancake
is a.
I love that.
You said that because that'sexactly what I feel like and I
apologize to her all the time,you know.
But but there is so to both ofus in her being able to heal.
She's just in the thick of itbecause at that podcast it

(46:00):
brought up a lot of shit and itwas like baby girl, I'm sorry.
I'm here to be part of yourjourney.
I also understand if you needspace, but there's a lot of
healing to go around because Imessed mine up.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
That's so many accolades to you, though, and to
us, for owning those things.
I have one of my best friendsgrowing up she, you know into us
for owning those things.
I have one of my best friendsgrowing up.
She has a really tumultuousrelationship with her mother,
frankly, because her mother, asan adult, still can't apologize.
She's still justifying why shemade the choices.
There's no need to do any ofthat.
That's the ego that's trying tojustify the mistakes.

(46:32):
Listen again the first pancake.
You always are going to makemistakes, and you've got to make
just enough.
Enough mistakes to make themfunny yeah right, at least you
give them a little depth and alittle personality yeah, but
it's owning that, yeah, and andbeing able to look at them in
the eyes and just say I'm sorrywithout a but, I'm not, I'm
sorry, but I did it because I'mnot I'm sorry because you know

(46:52):
any of those things, it's justI'm sorry, I love you so much
and that's you know.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
I'm so glad that you said that about your friend and
her mom, because I think that'sthe response that a lot of
parents give and I don't know ifthey realize that they're not
going to get docked on, you know, for taking accountability for
something.
I have a friend whose mom dieda couple years ago and she told
me she says you are giving yourdaughter such a gift by taking
accountability because my momnever did.
And again, like being able totake accountability and say you

(47:21):
deserved better.
I know that you deserved better.
And she can tell me and cry andscream and tell me about her
piece of it and I don't have todo a rebuttal to anything or
explain anything.
Just hold space for her.
That's her story.
You know that was something forher where she went back to her
bio dad and, you know, wanted tohave this whole conversation
and I told her before she diddon't have, don't go into it

(47:43):
with expectations.
But he did the exact same thing.
It wasn't like that and youknow, trying to, oh, give
explanations and stuff, I'm likeyou, stupid son of a bitch.
Just just acknowledge her painin that situation.
Hold space for her andunderstand that's her trauma.
That's not you, don't yourperspective as an adult who was
drinking and blah blah, blah,blah blah.

(48:04):
You weren't paying attention towhat her story is.
She was a child.
That's hers.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
You go ahead and just hold space for her.
It's so true, but people canonly meet you where they've met
themselves right, and that's thethat's just the reality.
My old, my daughter, alsoconnected with her biological
father a few years ago and youknow she just thought that maybe
it would be different if theymet and it wasn't.
But he's never had to thinkoutside of himself, you know, he

(48:30):
hasn't had more children, hehasn't had the perspective shift
, so it doesn't exist.
And so it's not about her atall, it's about him.
And so there was a piece almostthat comes in that and just
letting it go, because againit's back to what we were
talking about earlier with theexpectations.
You can put the expectations onhim that this is what a father
is supposed to be, but itdoesn't mean that it is and it

(48:52):
doesn't mean that he has thecapacity or even the willingness
or the perspective to show upthat way, you know.
And so because of that, thewillingness or the perspective
to show up that way you know,and so because of that, you then
have a choice on whether or notto boundary it and let it go
and release it and, you know,move along in your life and then
to then you can start healing.
To me, once you've accepted theholes where the holes exist in

(49:13):
your heart, then you know whereyou can heal and that's the most
empowering thing.
It's's, you know, that's thepriceless gift that we have in
the healing.
And it's tough because we nowwe're hearing a lot about
sitting in your shadows andfacing your fears and maybe
you're not needing to dig themout, yeah, but as they present
themselves when you're findingyourself getting upset, when

(49:34):
you're finding yourself addingthe I'm sorry, but yeah, now you
now have a trigger to yourselfto say okay, warning flag, I
need to deal with this.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Yeah, and get curious about where that's coming from
Exactly.
That's the biggest piece of it,I think, and that's in this
work and in this podcast and thethings that we talk about.
If something triggers you inlife, get curious about it.
Don't just say, oh, you can'tsay that word, or I don't like

(50:03):
that color, or you know, I don't, I don't deal with blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
Get curious about where thatcame from.
And again, you don't have toalways have the answers for
stuff, but being willing torelease the shit that came, that
caused the trigger in the firstplace.
What do you want?
To wait until you're 80?

Speaker 2 (50:10):
And then you've just got like this whole boatload of
triggers that you pull behind.
You know shopping in order tofeel valuable, or you're
gambling in order to get excited, or whatever it is that you're
engaging and you start to getobsessive about those behaviors

(50:30):
because what's hiding behindthem becomes bigger and bigger.
And so to me that's exactly thesame thing.
I mean, I was drinking a ton,especially even at the end of
chemo.
I was in this tumultuous, justhurricane of emotions,
processing the trauma of goingthrough my treatment and not
wanting to face the fact that Ididn't want my old life back.
And everybody around me waswaiting for Mel to come back

(50:53):
right, come back to her job,come back to her family, come
back to her relationships, comeback to her normal, vibrant,
fun-loving self.
And I felt so disconnected fromthat woman that was diagnosed
with cancer.
I was scared to death to goback to anything, but I didn't
know how to communicate that.
And so then I was drinking andI was just traveling and I was

(51:15):
doing anything I could todistract myself from seeing what
was right in front of me, andthat was that the old me was
gone and I didn't know who thenew me was becoming.
But I had to figure it out,yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
That's a big leap of fear.
You know, over fear and infaith, to say I don't want that
back.
You know, I'm going to goforward and I think if people
were braver in doing those kindof big steps, they would be so
incredibly happy.
I've never been happier thanjust saying, like screw it.
I put my hands up in the airand say I'm here, Like I'm not,
it's not about me, I don't havecontrol over anything.

(51:52):
I spent so many, so much of mylife thinking, okay, I'm going
to control this, I'm going tocontrol that, I have control
over everything.
And I look back and I justlaugh.
I just laugh.
I didn't have control overanything.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
You never do, you never do.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
And so it's like, it's almost like you know, once
you have that realization ofwhatever's supposed to happen is
going to happen.
Yeah, it's liberating.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
It is liberating.

Speaker 1 (52:12):
You know the, the not being afraid of dying, the not
being afraid of what's what'sgoing to happen, the, you know,
not being afraid of failure.
Do you find that the youngwomen that you work with have a
big fear of failure?

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Yes, for sure.
I mean it's.
I get a lot of ex-corporates inmy network of people that have
left their career jobs and noware going and building their
side hustles into actualbusinesses and just don't know
how to necessarily make thatshift and they don't want to
face the embarrassment to thepeople that they used to work
with.
You know, that are used to avery linear path to success,

(52:46):
that that maybe they're going toshow up differently.
You know maybe the businessthat they left their career job
to build doesn't work, maybe itbecomes something different.
But not having a linear pathinto growing a business, I think
is the most challenging thingfor so many of the women to
accept.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
Yeah, yeah, swing for the fences.
Ladies, swing for the fences, Imean, failure is part of it.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
And don't get so caught up in.
You know the name on your, thetitle on your LinkedIn.
You know the, the way that youintroduce yourself.
You know the most empoweringthing that you can do is finding
that identity within yourself.
Who are you and what brings youjoy?
At any of my events, at mysupper club, at my retreats, at
any of the things that I host, Iinstead challenge the women,

(53:31):
instead of coming to the tablewith who I am and what do I do.
It's who am I and why do I doit?
Because it eradicates theboundaries of what type of
business we're in and it shiftsour perspective from okay, this
is a relationship that nowbecomes an opportunity because
they're in the same line ofbusiness, or maybe a competition
because they're in the sameline of business.
And instead it's I host eventsand build a network for women to

(53:56):
connect their whys.
And if that's the case, thenthe collaboration is intrinsic.
It's it's if our whys arealigned.
Now we can be friends becausefundamentally we share such a
common, you know, purpose.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Yeah, it's incredible to me that you say that,
because I think just even takingthat like that barrier down a
little bit helps women be morevulnerable with each other.
And I think the vulnerability,especially in women, because I
think we're so.
We're so like pitted againsteach other in society for all
sorts of different reasons andso taking kind of that barrier
down and leading withvulnerability.

(54:30):
Never once been disappointed,never once been disappointed.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
I have seen women connect at a supper, where it
was a high-level executiveconnecting with a woman just
starting out in a holistichealing business.
Connected immediately, havingno idea what they did for a
living.
Love it All because of theirwhy?
Now holistic healer conductingbusiness within the corporate
business and now corporateleader is now mentoring a young

(54:56):
woman in business.
Oh, I love it so much.
It's magical.
What could happen when we justeradicate the strategy behind
opportunity and instead weleverage connection.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
Yeah, it's huge, Super powerful yeah.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Well, Mel, thank you so much for taking time to come
speak with me today.
I could speak with you foranother 10 hours.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
I mean thank you for having me yeah this has been
absolutely excellent.
It's been great.
Thank you so much, absolutely,and thank you for bringing
awareness to the whole, to thewhole concept of cancer, and not
just, not just cancer, butsurvivorship.
Yeah, you know there's.
It's so easy for us to spend somuch time and energy on the
patient, but there is a wholehost of needs that comes to the

(55:39):
woman after she's done withcancer.
Right, there's so much of whatthat's when she really needs
support, yeah, and that's whenshe really needs that connection
and collaboration andinspiration.
So I really appreciate youmentioning that.
Yeah, no doubt.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
No doubt.
So yeah, may I suggest thisweek treat life like a gift.
You know, life is a gift.
Time is a gift Act.
Accordingly, if you havequestions or suggestions, send
us an email.
Our email address is ladies atletsgetnakedpodcastcom.
Please do all the things tosupport the podcast.
Follow, share, rate, review andwe'll catch you next time.

(56:16):
That's a wrap.
You, and we'll catch you nexttime that's a wrap.
I'd love to help you getvulnerable.
Let's get naked.