Unpacking the Herdman Experience with Laughter

Get ready for a laughter-filled journey into our wild childhoods as we embrace vulnerability on the Let's Get Naked podcast. This episode features special guests—my brother Brennan, his wife Kaitlyn, and cousin Amy—who bring a treasure trove of outrageous and heartwarming stories from our past. Together, we explore our upbringing, highlighting moments of chaos, hilarity, and the unconditional love that draws us together as family.

From slip-and-slide antics to humorous reflections on being "feral children," we reminisce about our household dynamics and how they reflect broader societal expectations of parenting. The conversation navigates through the meaningful connections and heartfelt moments we've experienced, shedding light on how our past shapes our identity today. Throughout the episode, we emphasize the importance of vulnerability as an avenue for deeper connection with ourselves and others, hoping to inspire our listeners to share their own stories.

Join us for this lively exchange filled with laughter and nostalgia, celebrating the bonds of family that withstand the test of time. Don't forget to listen to the end for some surprising revelations and our encouragement to embrace every aspect of your own unique stories. We invite you to share the episode with your own family and friends and reflect on the rich tapestry of experiences that define each of our journeys.

Tune in and let's celebrate the beauty of being vulnerable together!

This podcast dives deep into real, raw topics—think vulnerability, triggers, and childhood trauma. But just so we're super clear: I’m not a licensed therapist, mental health professional, or anything close. I’m just a human sharing stories, lessons, and life hacks based on personal experience and a whole lot of curiosity.

So, while you might find some golden nuggets here, this is not therapy and should never replace professional mental health care. If you or someone you love is going through it, please—seriously—reach out to a licensed therapist or healthcare provider. You deserve the real deal.

Need Help Now?
Here are a few amazing resources:

· 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Call or text 988
· NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or nami.org/help
· Therapy Directory: psychologytoday.com
· Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

The opinions expressed on this show are ours and ours alone—no official organizations are responsible for what we say (or how much we overshare).

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
I'd love to help you get vulnerable.
Let's get naked.
Hey everyone, I'm Anne.
Welcome to the let's Get Nakedpodcast, where we deep dive into
vulnerability.
Today is a little bit differentin that we are pretty freeform,
based on our guests that arehere, and we're not really going
to have a set topic that wetalk about.

(00:28):
We are just going to havebasically an hour long shit show
, so we're going to dive rightin Today.
Joining me back by populardemand, is my brother Brennan
and his wife Caitlin, and thenthey've brought down my cousin
Amy from Colorado as well.
Ta-da, yeah.
And so we're all going to betelling stories about our

(00:52):
childhoods.
Growing up, difference inparenting we thought that was a
pretty funny concept as far asthe differences between our
parents and their generation,our parenting that we did, our
children and their parenting.
So we're going to kind of diveinto some of that.
Other things that we're goingto talk about are the
similarities between Brennan andmy and our siblings as they tie

(01:16):
into the best Christmas pageantever For those that have either
seen the book or seen the movieor read the book.
We kind of find some prettyfunny correlations between that,
and so we're going to tell someof those stories.
Yeah, it's going to be prettyoff the cuff today, so please
forgive me in advance.

(01:37):
Welcome to the show, you guys,thank you.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Thank you for having me Thank you for letting us get
naked with you, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
I would love for you to take those fucking costumes
off, right now?

Speaker 2 (01:48):
No, don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
You can say whatever you want.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Please don't encourage him.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
We use all the words and all the things I'm wearing
underwear today, so I can takeit off, oh Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Fantastic.
So to just give everyone athome a little bit of a detail
into where Amy fits in Brennanand my mom her sister is Amy's
mom, and so Amy is a decade plusold.
My mom was the oldest sister.

(02:18):
Yeah.
So she had a differentperspective on our childhood,
which know amy and I have gottencloser.
Amy has gotten closer with uslater in life just because I
think, when we were younger, whowould want to hang out with
someone that's 13 years youngerthan you are?

Speaker 3 (02:32):
and I would say that was the least of why she didn't
want to hang out with you well,and we'll, and we'll get into
that as well, uh, but Iabsolutely adore amy.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
she's probably the funniest person I know on the
planet and just is willing tosay all the things, and we
thought that would be fun tohave her on, so no pressure.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
You'll probably regret that.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Regret that exactly, but she does.
She has a fun perspective onBrennan and my upbringing and
with the rest of our siblings,and when we get together and
start telling stories it'soutrageous, it's just absolutely
outrageous.
So, barbara, I'm going to kickit over to you.
Maybe you can tell me where youthink this would be fun to
start for some of the, some ofthe context for things, so that

(03:18):
people that don't know us arelistening.
For our listeners at home, Icall Caitlin Barbara Walters
because she's so good at thequestions and always remembering
who's in what order, birth wise, and every time we get together
we always have to do a littlebit of a recap on where were you
and where was this and who'solder and whatever, and Caitlin

(03:38):
always remembers.
So I call her Barbara, oh, Ilove.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Um.
I did not know who the Herdmanswere when.
When I fell into this trap andrecently, uh, ann bought us the
book and sent it home, cause wehave four children, there were
five of them, um, so we're alittle less crazy thankfully
because we don't have Brennan,um, but the Herdmans were the

(04:02):
worst children in the history ofthe earth.
That's one of the very firstlines of the book, if not the
first line and they were justthese ragtag, dirty, poor,
rotten children that just prettymuch ruined everything.
And then they end up going tochurch because they heard there
were snacks.
They take over the Christmaspageant by threatening all the
other people, and the storybehind it is pretty awesome.

(04:25):
So when we read the story, itwas fun.
It was in the movie, it was inthe theaters.
This past Christmas we went andsaw it a few times and, as
we've talked about as adults,anne has then realized that they
were most likely the Herdmans.

Speaker 4 (04:40):
So it's been really fun to then tie that all
together If we had both of themon that, I would say yes, amy.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
So it's been really fun to then tie that all
together.
If we had voted on that, Iwould say yes, amy's definitely
one of the main sources thatconfirmed it for me, because I
obviously didn't have a seat atthat table then, because you
would have bullied me, all ofyou, but Amy was front row for
all of it.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
That I was yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Amy used to babysit us as children, and so some of
the stories that she has told wewere feral, I mean, and as I've
started to open Pandora's boxwith my memory and things are
coming out.
I'm like, oh my God, we were theHerdmans.
I mean we just if you thinkabout our upbringing.
I know you don't remember SouthDakota, brennan, but we grew up

(05:32):
on a farm that had lots ofacreage and space in between.
We were seven miles away fromtown and feral, just feral
children.
And so then when we moved toDenver, I was nine and my mom's
two sisters lived in Denver, sothat would have been Amy's mom,
and then also another aunt, andI remember stories about them.

(05:52):
There was one time where wewent to church with.
It was like Sunday mass orChristmas mass or something, and
I can't even imagine what your,your mom and aunt Janice would
have been thinking.
But we got home and they hadcalled to say like thanks for
coming to church or whatever,and it was on a three-way call
and they hung up or like thoughtthey hung up and they were

(06:16):
literally just bashing.
And this is on the answeringmachine right, and this is on
the answering machine back whenyou know for those that are not
old enough to even realize whatthe hell that is we used to have
boxes that were plugged intothe wall that you'd have to call
and leave a message for someone, and so they were literally
talking about what terriblechildren we were and how
misbehaved we were.
And I thought I picked up thephone and I called them back.

(06:38):
I called Aunt Janice back andshe's like well, let me get Aunt
Janelle on the phone and I,like I do, I remember like
tearing into her because I wasdefending my mom, and I look
back at that and I think if Iwere a parent, looking at what
we brought to the table, I wouldhave been with everything and
we were not allowed to like wecouldn't have a mess.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
Everything had a place.
I remember dusting and my momwould come along and say that
goes like this.
I'm like, oh well, that'schanging the world, just like
that.
Very sterile and in ourupbringing.
And then these guys came alongand I'm like just standing there

(07:35):
looking at like dust wouldliterally fly when you guys
would come into the town and itwas like, oh God, here they come
.
And I was tasked with takingcare of these kids and was told
keep those kids quiet.
And I'm like, well, okay,there's gasoline out in the shed

(07:57):
.
I don't know what else we coulddo.
So the memories I have of justtrying to keep everybody quiet
and not bring dirt in the house.
I remember my mom put food outon the patio because your
parents were late and just stoodthere behind the curtain and

(08:21):
then she took to her sickbed andI'm like, well, now I have to
clean that up.
It was just like a constantstate of, and it would go on all
day.
I felt like you guys got thereat like 6.15 in the morning and
you didn't leave until like 9.30at night and I was like, my God
, I haven't even peed all day.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
And I have a question .
Yes, you've referred to yourmother's sickbed multiple times
today.
Oh yeah, your mother's sickbed.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, what does that mean?

Speaker 3 (08:47):
That's what I wanted to know Like did she have a
different bedroom than hersickbed?

Speaker 4 (08:51):
No that was her bedroom but I, like she didn't,
everything was I can't take it.
I can't.
I just can't do this right now.
And you know, my sister wasalways gone, my brother was
doing whatever and there I was.
I tried to be quiet and notcause problems.
I loved being by myself.
And then, you know, these guyswould pull in and it was just

(09:18):
feral, feral children, feralLike with just Nancy?

Speaker 1 (09:22):
was it feral?
Yes, and did the feralityincrease as the children
increased.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
I remember when Nancy cut her bangs off who did?
And Nancy cut the widow's peakout of her head.
And I'm looking at this youknow she has a wound, which we
all know.
I love wounds.
But I'm looking at like, wheredid she get the scissors?
I don't know.
I think they're my sewingscissors and I'm like the

(09:46):
viscars with the.
You know, what else did she cut?
And then I think Maureen did ittoo.
I'm like, well, you didn'tlearn the first time?
I'm not allowed to touch thescissors.
Why is she touching thescissors?
And I was like, please don't gointo my mom's sewing room
because I'll die.
That's too much to clean up.
Yeah, so there was a lot therewas just a lot of angst.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Well, and once you realize, once you realize, like
for me when I realized a coupleof years ago, and it was almost
like a slap in the face of likeholy shit, we were the Herdmans
and and growing up we would readthat book every year for
christmas and we would laugh,and we would laugh, and we would
laugh.
I had no fucking idea that thatwas us right that that was us.

(10:34):
But when you, when you look atthat, when you look at holy shit
, and then you think about thedifferent people that you
interacted with, because, likeaunt mary and uncle pat, you
know all of the different peoplethat you interacted with,
because, like Aunt Mary andUncle Pat, you know all of the
different people that we wentaround to look, you start
putting together some piecesthat maybe you didn't realize
when you were a child, that yourealize as an adult, and Farrell

(10:56):
doesn't begin to even describeit.
You know, I mean, I just Idon't even know what to say.

Speaker 4 (11:02):
Well, I think a lot of that too is like where we
grew up was.
You know, I don't even knowwhat to say.
Well, I think a lot of that toois like where we grew up was.
You know, it didn't matter ifyou were a serial killer, as
long as you got the mess cleanedup by noon and made it to
church, it was fine, and that'show your mom and dad lived.
I mean, it was you know.
I remember Uncle Tom pulls inand there's the wheels falling

(11:23):
off of the truck or something,and you know he hit something on
the road and, well, we got togo to church.
Okay, then we all you know,piled in the car, another car.
I'm like all the way thinkingis the other wheel going to fall
off?
And I'm going to die with thesekids in the back of this car

(11:44):
and they're probably, probablygonna eat me alive and that'll
be it.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
That'll be the end of my story how much did you
precede them to move to Colorado, like what?
How old when you got to leavethe babysitting trauma?
How old were you when you guysmoved to Colorado?

Speaker 4 (11:59):
uh, I was 15 um, and I had my 16th birthday, uh, in
september.
So I went from a town with 87people in it to starting my
junior year at cherry creek highschool with over 3 000 kids,
and all I could think of wasthank god, I got out of nebr.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
And then how long after that did you get Like 10
years?
How long was the gap?

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Well, so Amy and I have 13 years between us, so
seven years later we would havemoved to Colorado.
Yeah, the stories that you tellabout babysitting us.
We were sitting around lastnight For our listeners at home.
We were sitting around lastnight just telling stories about
Maureen, who is our next oldestsister, climbing the curtains.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
That's my favorite.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
That's my favorite story too.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
I'm glad you can rejoice in that.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Well, and how old was Maureen when that happened?

Speaker 4 (13:04):
Probably two.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Will you tell the story for those of us that don't
haven't heard it?

Speaker 4 (13:08):
yes, because my mother had these.
First of all, we weren'tallowed to touch the walls, so
the messes stayed outside.
And, uh, my mother had theseseries of curtains that were
like layer upon layer upon layer, and they all had their own

(13:28):
mechanism that you, you know,pulled and they were very sturdy
.
So I'm watching, uh, oh, and Ibelieve Nancy had just climbed
up the outside of the steps andgot her legs caught in the
banister.
So I'm like, okay, where's themayonnaise?
Because that's what my mom usedto use on me to get my fat legs

(13:49):
out from between the whateverthose are called, the balusters
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Like by pulling you in.
Come on, there's mayonnaise inthe kitchen.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
I was like flipped backwards, because every time I
wanted to see how high I couldgo.
And then I'm like, oh, I'mgetting scared, so I just shoved
my fat thigh in there.
And then I'm like, oh, I'm anacrobat, I'd lay backwards until
the blood would run to my head,and then there was a couple
times I probably passed out, butanyway.
So Nancy, I think had seen medo that, so she's doing that.
And Maureen is now climbing upthe series of drapes using her

(14:22):
muddy feet on the walls and I'mlike, oh no.
So I go over to where thedrapes are.
She had climbed on the top andis laying on her stomach with
her leg hanging down, and I'mlike, oh, I've got to get her
off there.
What do I do?
So I was holding on to thedrapes, like, flicking the
drapes, trying to get her down,and she's just like smiling at

(14:44):
me like you're gonna die, wereyou planning to like flick her
off?

Speaker 3 (14:46):
and yeah, I didn't know, I just wanted her off.

Speaker 4 (14:50):
My big worry was that she was going to pull the
curtain rod out and then, oh,then I'm really screwed because
we had plaster I think I don'tknow could have been paneling,
who knows whatever.
Mayonnaise comes off quicklyoften, but yeah, that was a good
time.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Amy tells stories about us coming or her having to
come along on vacation, gettingtalked into coming along to
help babysit us kids, and therewas a big enough gap where I
can't even imagine.
I liken it to Marines kids andthe idea of all four of them
coming and just being completelyferal is like, oh my god, you

(15:31):
know, I can imagine that that'swhat that would feel like well,
and it was always presented tome as oh, you're gonna have so
much fun, you're gonna have somuch fun.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
Uh, uncle Tom and Aunt Mary are going on vacation
to the Black Hills.
I'm like, oh okay, oh, they'dlike you to come along.
Fantastic, great.
Now I'm stuck in a hotel roomwith these children while Uncle
Tom and Aunt Mary are just goingout to have time by themselves,

(16:00):
and then I got locked in thebathroom with a sweaty door.
I finally was able to take ashower and I think it was either
you or Maureen had puked and Iwas tasked with cleaning that up
, and I was pretty sure none ofyou knew how to chew your food.
Because there were chunks thatyou know were staying in a hotel

(16:20):
.
I think it was a hotel.
It could have been a hostel atthat, I don't know but yeah.
So all I wanted to do was takea shower, and then I got locked
in the bathroom because the doorswelled up and had to be
rescued by a fireman while yourmother was berating your father
why he couldn't get the door off.
So that was a good time too.
Good times, good times.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
I love when Amy says like I got invited along for
some light babysitting and thenit was, and what a dumbass, I
kept doing it.
That's on you.

Speaker 4 (16:47):
Yeah, stupid, that's on you if you don't know how
that stuff works Well.
The best one was the.
I would like Aunt Mary wouldlike you to come and help her.
Can peaches?

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Great.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
And I think the house had burned down or something,
so you were living in a basementdwelling, so that was before
you Were you born when thetrailer burned.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
I don't know the answer to that.
I think that was betweenMaureen and you.
I think so too, you lived inthe basement house.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
I did live in the basement house and again you
don't know you're not normaluntil you start comparing
stories with other people andthen it's kind of like that's
not.
There's not a me too situationin any of my upbringing with any
of my friends talking abouttheirs, just so everyone knows
everyone's not like same theseyou mean no one else almost

(17:33):
nobody else has a kitchen intheir basement no, and I had an
opportunity a couple months ago.
I was up north on this retreatand I was hanging out with this
one gal and we were talkingabout different stories about
growing up and everything that Iwould say.
They would be like oh my god,I'm so sorry and I'm like no is
that not right?
And then I started unpacking itand putting it in the
perspective of like the girls,and would that be okay with me

(17:54):
if the, if that was happening togirls and I'm thinking, oh my
god, this is not great at all.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
So I understand the herdman's component of that
evolution of parenting is sofunny because lauren and I were
just talking just a little bitago about the like, the change
in I think it was car seats orsomething like.
My oldest brother is almost 60and my dad talks about his car
seat being like essentially afive gallon bucket that hooks
that went over the seat and thenholes for his legs.
Like it wasn't for safety,right, it was.
You're gonna just sit there soI can drive and not worry about

(18:22):
you.
It had nothing to do withanything else, but that's how
everyone parented.

Speaker 4 (18:26):
Like yeah, yeah, that's a car seat, right you
didn't have that.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Well, maureen used to lay in that.
We were talking about that,where she would lay in the back
window.
Amy was talking about hergetting sunburned, because mom's
, like she's fine.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
I mean, there wasn't any of that she drove or she was
in the back of that huge likejust laying up there all the way
from your house to my house,which was what?
40 some miles, Just baking inthe sun.
Yeah, oh, she'll wake up in alittle bit With a sunburn.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Roll over and roast the other side.
Who was?

Speaker 3 (19:01):
the most verbal of all of them.
Ooh, who was the most verbal ofall?

Speaker 4 (19:05):
of them.
I really didn't have a lot todo, I mean, because we had moved
by then.
So I guess when you guys cameto Denver, I didn't really, I
mean you were kind of out onyour own thing happening and

(19:25):
like like I knew you a littlebit.
Um, keith was loud, but Ididn't really.
I kind of learned at that pointto stay away, you learned
finally after how many years Ifinally got it.
yeah, I didn't, I know.
Nancy was um, she was not loud,she just was always doing

(19:46):
something.
And then Maureen was probablyMaureen, she would make noises,
and I mean, at least I knewwhere she was.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
She was a lot, maureen, and God bless her.
Because literally amazing, butshe was a lot, and she marched
to the beat of her.
Because literally amazing, butshe was a lot, and she marched
to the beat of her own drummeralways.
You know, that was one of thethings that was very different
for me is I, when we moved toColorado, it was very important
to me to fit in, and so I wouldgo to extremes to be able to fit

(20:20):
in and not stand out, but shewas just completely content to
march to the beat of her owndrummer.
And I think about even our timethere.
We would go play.
We would go play football atthe park no pads, full tackle,
maureen and I with the boys, andwe would get picked first when

(20:41):
we were doing schoolhouse picks,you know, because Maureen and I
would.
It was savage shit.
And so I look back at that andI think these are not like oh,
look at this cute girl in thewhatever.
You wonder why I ended up inconstruction and why I'm dead
inside and why I don't have thefeminine balance of whatever.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
I wasn't dealt that, I wasn't given that, see, and I
was told don't beat up on theboys, because then they won't
want to date you Lucky.

Speaker 3 (21:10):
You can't be bigger than them.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
You can't be stronger than them, because then they
won't want to date you.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, one of the topics for that we talk about a
lot is our parents dealt to usan offensive amount of shame
because of how they were raised,and so when amy talks about the
, the things that you're sayingas far as like don't do this or
do this, or making sure that youfit into whatever this mold is,
I look back at that and I justthink shame is like the absolute

(21:41):
worst, especially the shameassociated with stuff that
people weren't educated onanyway.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
And then choices or decisions are made and then the
consequence of it.
That's what you need to feelshame for, but you weren't
educated on what got you to thatplace in the first place.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, but think about that.
We look at the technology andthe information that we have at
our fingertips.
Our parents didn't have that.
They didn't have the internet.
They didn't have like, if youwanted knowledge, you had to
know someone that had eithertried it or heard something and
was willing to talk about it.
And was willing to talk aboutit, which was not a big thing
back then.
And so you look at all of thethings where nowadays we go.

(22:18):
How is that even possible?
You know, one of the thingsthat we were talking about is
all of this teenage pregnancythat was happening in this high
school in Colorado, where peoplewould get shipped off to to
have babies and then go homelike nothing happened and no one
would talk about it and ithappened.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
I mean All the time.
Even in our small group we havea decent number of people that
were there A handful of peoplethat that happened to.
And then you talk to otherpeople and they're like everyone
knows someone that got pregnantin high school and was shipped
off somewhere else to have theirbaby, and then come back like
oh, when you look at the shameassociated with that, if you
don't process that and deal withthat, you're carrying that
around all the way, all the waythrough.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
That doesn't just go away.
There's a lot of shitassociated with that for me that
I look at and I think I wasraised with a ton of shame and
being able to go back and askmom you know, when we come up to
Colorado and we sit and we justtalk about things, I'm
fascinated Because the thingsthat she tells me about how she
was raised by her dad and hermom with you're not allowed to

(23:23):
wear shorts and don't show yourlegs and we don't act that way.
And then the shame component ofthe organized religion.
That came into that as well.
That's obviously a big thingand Amy and I have talked about
that when we knew that thatdoesn't fit for us.
And then to be raised in anenvironment that you're just
crammed with that down yourthroat, when you know that

(23:43):
that's not like at a molecularlevel.
This is not for me.
And then the shame that comeswith it, because it's very much
shame-based and that doesn'tmean my biggest part with
organized religion is thehypocrisy and all of that.
I can be a good person, adecent person and own my shit,
instead of pretending to besomething you're not and then

(24:03):
talking about it under the underthe under the curtains or
behind the curtains, or howeveryou say that or using the guise
of religion to talk about it,and you can just talk about it,
yeah, yeah, but and you're beingawfully quiet I was thinking
the same thing.
Yeah, you guys are talking aboutstuff that was before me, so
yeah, for those of you that arelistening, I do just want to do

(24:26):
a quick description of whatBrennan and Caitlin are wearing.
You might want to check thisout on YouTube.
Just to get a gander.
I don't think you coulddescribe it.
Oh, I'm going to try.
These two yahoos, Cameron and Ivacation with them.
I love Caitlin looking at mewith those judgy eyes like
careful what you say, how and I?

Speaker 2 (24:46):
vacation with him, I love.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Caitlin looking at me with those judgy eyes like how
would I describe this?
Brendan and Caitlin are some ofthe most fun adults on the
planet and they don't give ashit what other people think,
and they have a good time andthey the group of friends that
they pal around with facilitateand foster this type of
environment as well.
They're amazing.
They're amazing and I love yourfriend group you have for just

(25:08):
to paint a little picture, youhave people who have a couple of
bucks, who Don't give a fuckwhat other people think about
them, and spend their moneyaccordingly.
So, like, have you ever thought, ooh, I'd like to buy a bus and
put a stripper pole in that sothat our friends have a place to
go drive around their Brendanand Caitlin are like that's

(25:29):
normal or a limousine?
Yeah, a limousine they bought alimousine with horns on the
front of it and then, when weflew up to Colorado, came and
picked us up in that thing, usedit for a few years and then
sold it.
But that's I mean they would,one of their kids would like
drive that thing to the grocerystore so I could park that bitch
like nobody.
Exactly I mean capable children.

(25:51):
That is what we were raisingcapable children, but Party yard
.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Yeah, slip and slide, yeah, oh yeah, the slip and
slide, oh my.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
God, let's talk about the slip and slide.
So, brennan and Caitlin, let mefinish with the outfits.
I'm so sorry.
So these outfits that these twoyahoos are wearing are gold and
gold, like tiger jumpsuits.
So we went on a vacation toMiami with Brennan and Caitlin
Cameron and I did, and these twoyahoos showed up in these
outfits because they just dothis shit.

(26:18):
They rode all the way on theplane.
They didn't like change.
When they got there, they go tothe airport in these outfits
and walk around living theirbest lives while people are
watching.
So if you're ever like who arethose assholes that do shit like
this, these two, these two planthings like what we called slip
and slide at their house.
Brendan and Caitlin live out on40 acres east of Denver, and

(26:43):
Brendan works for a company thatdoes heavy equipment, heavy
dirt, moving equipment and sothey would just bring some of
that out to their property andclear the land so that you have
this I don't even know how longit was 400 feet 400 feet long
slip and slide, and then I'm theasshole.
that's like I got a couple ofbucks.
I ship a tarp up there.

(27:03):
It's a pond liner, whatever.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
How many gallons were in it?
27,000 gallons 27,000 gallons.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
I mean, we just do this.
Very circulating pump and a barand a bar and a pulley system on
the bottom, the ATV that pullsand so you hold on to the rope
up at the top and just Go 40miles an hour.
Sound system.
It's a good time.
It was.
It was a good time.
I don't know that I'm braveenough at 47 to do that anymore,

(27:29):
because I remember some prettysavage injuries.
But yeah, if you're wonderingwho are the yahoos that do shit
like this, these guys, brennanwould do.
I remember when hearing thingsabout you would buy old cars and
bash out all the windows andthen do like derby out on your
own property.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Or on the highway.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Well, so Side roads, not the highway.
So this is what Amy's losingher shit right now.
This is what feral childrenlook like when they get to be
adults.

Speaker 4 (27:59):
But I have to say, two of the best times I've had
with you guys are the slip andslide.
I mean, Steve and I brought ourchairs, our lawn chairs, and
just sat there and watched thefireworks go.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
I mean, it was astounding what was happening.

Speaker 4 (28:16):
And then Cameron brings out a hog that had been
roasted or something and I'mlike you know, all right, I'm
good with this.

Speaker 3 (28:28):
And that whole hog was gone without a single
utensil, it was like cavemen, itwas insane.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
I grabbed some of the meat with my bare hand and went
back to my chair and sat down.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
We didn't have plates Plates.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
What are those?
Just so the listeners know.
If you don't think that we'regetting vulnerable today,
understand that these storiesbeing out there for the human
consumption is a lot.
There's a lot that goes intosome of the redneck shit that
happens in our family, back tothe Herdman.
So the very first time we hadjust been married and we had all
of the redneck shit thathappens in our family, well,
back to the Herdman.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
So the very first time we had just been married
and we had all of the family out, it was the first time I'd met
some of them and in our teenylittle house we had everybody.
We didn't have any kids.
And Brennan decides to we allgo outside and Brennan decides
to just blow some stuff up.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
Like yeah, Oxyacetylene bombs are amazing
and you're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
I remember you standing there scratching your
belly going god damn it, brendan, if you light that field on
fire one more time I meanseriously for us feral herdman
children.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Caitlin is a fucking amazing addition and cameron yes
it, just it, cameron.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
it couldn't get better, I mean it couldn't get
better Cameron is about we'rethe Herdman Herders we just try
to corral you guys into.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Keep it in a little bit, but that's the kind of shit
that happens.
So what happens when feralchildren get older and have a
couple of bucks underneath themand whatever?
Awesomeness, awesomeness, right, I'm building a second story
office edition.
I'm putting in a fucking slideout the back of my office.

Speaker 4 (30:01):
What.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, I'm not kidding .
You didn't tell me that.
Oh, it's happening.

Speaker 4 (30:04):
Are you putting a poll in too?
Fireman's poll.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
I can't put a poll in only because I'm afraid
everyone doesn't realize thegrip strength that it takes to
get down one of those, and Idon't give a fuck what people
think, which is another publicservice announcement.
Live your life right.
I don't think you've cared,Brendan, what people think, your

(30:27):
entire life.
I'm guessing, or was there apoint when you did?

Speaker 2 (30:29):
I'm guessing there wasn't, because it just doesn't
feel like that when I was fat,that one time in fourth grade, I
cared other than that.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
You were fat in third grade.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
It shocks everyone.
It's so funny.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
I know I didn't know that I had to strip down, butt
naked almost.
I was in my underwear to weighin for football, to get light
enough to not have to playdefensive line.
I wanted to play tight end andI had to take all my clothes off
to make weight.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
It only lasted a year , and then I grew six inches and
I was good, we haven't seen anypictures of it.

Speaker 3 (30:56):
Like lots of people want photographic evidence
Similar to when I told you youlooked old and I had to find all
those photographs to Well all.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
I can say is welcome to my world.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
I wasn't doing roids when I got there.
You mean, I wasn't doing roidsto get there.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
Well, that was a medical necessity.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Amy has a bigger dick than anyone sitting on these
couches, just FYI.
But we don't want to tellpeople that because then it
makes them feel unworthy.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
She can also pick up cars.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Mustache power, my mustache for ladies with a with
a hairy upper lip, we call thata mustache makes it more
feminine.
So amy grew up in a householdwhere, again, with the shame and
this is fun to hear as we getolder, because the shame is a
fun component for me, I think,just interesting but told all of

(31:49):
the things about you can't bethis, or thank God you're big.
If you're bigger then you getto be the strong one.
Boys aren't going to like you.
What does that look like foryou in your household?

Speaker 4 (32:04):
some of the things that your parents said to you.
Oh my, my, I was a very sickchild.
So then when I finally grew, Igrew really fast and I matured
very quickly, um, and I remembermy dad, um, telling me one time
that you're never going to geta man if you don't reduce and
I'm like you can't even spellreduce.
What are you talking about?

(32:24):
And Aunt Janice was really goodabout that Like you're getting
a little heavy.
I'm like a little what I liftedup the back of the car.
So I was expected when we movedto Denver, I was expected to
work with my dad.

(32:45):
We were putting in tie wall,railroad ties, and I was strong
enough that I could hammer inthe dead man and I was like, oh,
that's awesome.
I mean, I was really good withthat sledgehammer and my brother
was supposed to be helping us,which he was not really helping

(33:05):
us, um, but this crew, um, hadcome over, they were watching us
and I mean I was lifting up therailroad ties out of the back
of the truck and, and you know,laying them down.
I remember at 16 I was 15 thenyeah, and, but that was just a
year and a half off the steroid.

(33:25):
So I I you know I was probably235.
Then I was a.
I was a big girl.
Well, like I'm petite now, butanyway so uh, I remember this
crew had come over and they weretrying to talk to my dad and
you know, by that time he's onthe back of the truck having a
beer fall staff sitting thereand I'm working and I mean I was

(33:49):
like the power of nailing thatbeam.
Every time.
I mean I was like, oh, this isfantastic.
And this crew asked my dadabout me, like, because then
they were Wanting to hire you, Ithink they did I think they did

(34:10):
.
They were probably like can shecook too?
So I heard my dad say, well,she ain't much to look at, but
she's a hard worker.
I'm like he finally noticed.
He finally noticed.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
And I was like.

Speaker 4 (34:25):
And then the next swing.
I almost took out my ankle andI was like, oh, it's okay, it's
all right, and I was so proudthat day.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
Isn't that crazy that you heard that and you thought
I'm proud because he noticed I'ma hard worker.
Instead of that motherfuckerjust talked about me like that.
That I, yeah, but that was likeI was constantly like did you
notice?

Speaker 4 (34:44):
did you notice I did this?
Did you notice I moved this?
Did you you know?
Yeah, did you notice I kept theWessendorf kids from burning
the house down gold star forthat one, amy, thank you for
keeping.
Thank you for helping him makeit to adulthood yeah, well you
know, thank god, or we wouldn'thave had that fantastic time.
I mean, my husband talks aboutthat all the time, the slip and

(35:05):
slide.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
No blowing up stuff.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Oh yeah, he's like.
I pulled some furniture out ofa dumpster.
Let's blow that up.
I'm like yes.
I'm like, good yeah.
At that point I was like, oh,thank God, they're feral
children.
This is fantastic.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah, feral children as adults are pretty fun.
You know we don't get twistedup in what's on social media or
what people are doing with theirlives.
We are living our lives to thefullest.
I look at that for what I do inmy life.
I don't give a fuck what otherpeople think I couldn't care
less.
If it sparks my soul, I'm doingit.
I fuck what other people thinkI couldn't care less.

(35:42):
If it sparks my soul, I'm doingit.
Doing it, and that doesn'talways mean like blowing shit up
or whatever.
Obviously it looks a little bitdifferent for me.
I have a reputation to uphold,an image an image to uphold.
So I just I'm like, hey, can Ithrow some money on your stupid
event?

Speaker 3 (35:52):
that'd be excellent silent partner.
I'm a silent partner.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
That's a nice, that's a nice thing.
Yeah, always there to lift up.
Yeah, I'm like I'm not takingcredit for this shit show.
Very uplifting, but I do wantto be part of it for sure.
We're glad you're part of ourshit show both of you, I know it
is pretty fun.
I am curious about when youtalk about your dad saying shit
like that to you were you closewith your mom at all when you

(36:29):
were growing up?

Speaker 4 (36:30):
no, like ever.
No, you were the third.
Third, you're in the youngest,I was the the silent.
Was jill close with your mom?
No, my mom kept everybody at,just you know even her siblings
yeah because mary holds hersiblings to a very high regard.
It's pretty cool that thepedestal she puts her siblings
on well, that's why I had therewas such a disconnect because
I'm like I hear my mom talk andthen I hear, you know, your mom
talk and I was.

(36:51):
I mean, I used to be enamored byyour mother just because of, um
, even though there was thatemotional side to her that was
so messy and so because I wasnot, obviously, was not very
feminine, um, but I didn't, Idon't know, I didn't, um, it was

(37:15):
just a weird, a weird uh thingto see them together when they
were together, because, um,there was a a weird, a weird uh
thing to see them together whenthey were together because, um,
there was a clear line of mymother being, uh, almost in the
black.
Aunt Janice was always in themiddle, trying to, you know, dah
, dah, dah, and then Aunt Marywas just emotional and I I

(37:39):
couldn't, um, I just couldn't'tidentify with that, but I was
always very enamored with her,just by how she, uh like handled
life.
I guess at that point, becauseI didn't see, because I didn't
really have life, so I didn'tknow what all that entailed.
And then, the older I got, I'mlike, oh, it's so messy, I don't

(38:01):
, I don't, because that wasgoing to be another mess.
I had to clean up and I didn'twant to do that?

Speaker 3 (38:05):
Was your mom emotional like that or no?

Speaker 4 (38:07):
My mom was very, she was cold.
Uh, not, I mean, that's thething.
As you know, we've talked aboutthis before with my siblings,
that we weren't.
It's not like they beat us oranything, we just were there
yeah, we were.
I mean, I remember being bymyself for hours up in the attic

(38:31):
playing with um because I wassick for some reason or another,
um, and finding stuff to makethings out of.
I mean I made a mud city out bythe shed and I spent days on it
and I would drive my Hot Wheelcars I had never seen bridges
like that, or you know and I wasjust like this is fantastic.

(38:53):
I can take dead grasshoppersand make you know the side of a
building, or you know, and I hadall this stuff laid out.
I mean, looking back, Iprobably should have been seeing
seeking help, but that's, youlearn to play with things that
you have.
And I remember being in theattic and playing with um wigs
and I had seen a picture of umElizabeth Taylor and I thought,

(39:16):
oh my god, she's pretty.
I have a black wig in there andI can.
So I made Elizabeth Taylor withthe makeup and everything in
this wig.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
And is that what got you into hair?

Speaker 4 (39:29):
Probably Well, no, actually I got into hair because
when we moved to Denver, guesswho didn't fit in.
So they said um uh, because Iwould, would have quit.
The only people that talked tome were the um, the druggies on
the hill.
They'll talk to anybody.
I was like hey, how are you,you know, with my flannel shirt

(39:49):
on?
And here's all these girls with.
You know, short skirts anda-line bobs were just starting
to come back and I was like huh.
So I worked in the um, I workedin the counselor's office
because aunt janice thought thatI could save people handing out
religious pamphlets.
And I'm like in the schoolcounseling office.
Yeah, that wouldn't have been aconflict there at all, but

(40:11):
anyway.
So I'm listening to this poorgirl call in and say she cannot
take the position, the last,last spot for the cosmetology
program, and I was like what,you can do that?
Because I was literallythinking how can I quit?
I've got to quit.
I don't fit in here.
Nothing's working.

(40:31):
I'm living with my parents, Ican't do this.
And then that just changed myworld and I was like, oh my God,
these people are like me,fantastic.
And then I got to play withchemicals.
I mean, you cannot, you can'tshe's not any less feral no, she
acts like that.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
She just didn't have other people to get in trouble
with.
She's just, she's a vaccinatedferal, right.
Yeah, like right she.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
I mean how?
What was the difference?
The age difference between youand the next one in your family?

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Bruce was two and a half years older.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Okay, were you close with him growing up?

Speaker 4 (41:06):
Not really.

Speaker 3 (41:12):
I was more close when we moved to Denver, I think,
because we played softballtogether and we did boy stuff.
And how much older is Jill than?

Speaker 4 (41:19):
Six and a half years.
I six than you or than bruceand bruce or no than me, okay
yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
So looking at all that and the and the not talking
right like you think about,imagine not having a
relationship with your kidswhere they're really just
roommates.
I can't even imagine that.
I literally talk with wileyabout everything.
We sit and talk about literallyeverything.
That's where he gets hisguidance and he can do whatever
he wants with that, but that'swhere you get the knowledge for

(41:46):
stuff.
That's where you have peoplethat are invested in what you're
doing.
Not having a relationship withyour parents.
What was your relationship likewith your dad other than him
being excited that you werestrong like Ox?

Speaker 4 (41:57):
He as long as I laughed at his his jokes it was
cool.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
What was your parents relationship?

Speaker 4 (42:04):
like like what was that example for you so I never
wanted to be married.
I was like, oh no, I don't needthat did they fight?
a lot, or they just uh, no,there was a lot of avoidance and
, uh, my dad would.
I always thought my dad wassuch a hard worker and I
remember my sister, like youknow, scoffing at that one time.

(42:26):
I was like what wasn't he ahard worker?
And then I realized he was ahay grinder.
He worked what?
Three, three, four weeks out ofthe year.
I'm like what was he doing?
Oh, that's right, he was at thebar.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
He's at the bar isn't it crazy how, when you're
younger, you look at yourparents and you almost I, I like
idolize them a little bit, andthen, when you get to be
whatever, that age is and youthink they were just normal?

Speaker 4 (42:54):
people.
Well, that's everybody's.
Everybody's dad was at the barright it wasn't just my dad.
My dad wasn't, you know.
Yeah, he was probably analcoholic, but he was a fun
alcoholic.
He was the town clown, you know.
So we were in there again.
It didn't matter if you were aserial killer.
As long as you cleaned yourmess up and made somebody laugh,

(43:16):
then it was fine.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
And made it to church on time.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
And made it and put that money in the collection
plate, because if you didn't,isn't it crazy how much things
have changed?
Now, like I look in people tome, it always surprises me
because people that think lookat where we are and they're
disappointed and oh, there's somuch to go.
Yes, you're right, but look howfar we've come.
This is not that far ago.
What we're talking about thisis 50 years ago.

(43:42):
That's not that far ago.
That's not that far back thatwe were no one's talking Because
this wasn't just for you, right?
This is happening in a lot offamilies the shame and the not
talking about things.
Just don't bring it up, we pushit under the rug.

(44:05):
Girls do these thingsabsolutely exactly.
I mean, we're talking aboutaunties and uncles that were
getting molested and otherthings that were happening at
different places, differentboarding, catholic boarding
schools and and other thingswhere it's like you send your
kid off for a couple months andthen they come back and we don't
fix anything, we don't addressanything, we just move around
and we never stop the cycle.

Speaker 3 (44:21):
And we never stop the cycle, because there's plenty
of those schools that I'm surewere wonderful.
Yeah, like I went to 13 yearsof Catholic school and loved it.
Sure, yeah, but it's always thebad ones.
Obviously, they get thepublicity, but no one, no one,
talked about it, so we didn'tfix.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
It's terrible.
People not talking about thingsis the biggest problem and I
think that's part of what, forme, drives me to do this podcast
is being willing to bevulnerable, being willing to
share all of the things.
You can take a look ateverything that I have going on.
I'm not ashamed about that.
I own my mistakes, all of thethings, and I'm willing to talk

(44:59):
about anything.
There's not anything that's offlimits for me, but I think that
I'm hoping that that resonateswith other people also to help
them spark that in their lives,or in their relationships too,
of having those conversations,not just with your kids or with
your friends.
Have those conversations withyour parents.
That, to me, is fascinating.
To sit down with our folks andsay tell us how this was for you

(45:23):
.
This is how this was from myperspective.
But I was a child.
I didn't have any idea.
So when we were moving out fromSouth Dakota to Colorado, I
didn't realize how horrible thatwas.
Listening to Dad talk about theinterest rates and the horrible
spot that they got intofinancially, and he didn't want
it Having to sell, having tosell everything.

(45:44):
I mean it.
Just it guts me to even thinkabout that.
And then him not being able toreconcile that for a long, long
time, and I don't know that.
I mean, I don't know if that hehas or not, but I know that
that was something that hecarried around for a long, long
time like on his sleeve that youcould tell.
So again, we just don't, wedon't talk about things, I don't
think.
Do you know older people thathave done therapy or done any of

(46:05):
that where they're actuallytrying to unpack anything?
No, when did that start?
When did like fix your shitkind of mentality start For
therapy or for, you know, fixingtrauma or any of that?
Or talking about things,talking about being, you know,
about being molested or raped orthe shit that happens behind
the curtain that no one wants totalk about?

Speaker 3 (46:28):
Or even our dad's ages, who went to Vietnam and
came home Didn't talk about it.
We didn't talk about thateither.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
That stuff didn't start.
Even thinking back to highschool kids didn't talk about
that stuff.
You know it was happening allthe time.
I feel like it was 2000s beforeit became popular.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
And not popular, but acceptable.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yeah, acceptable.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
You could go talk to somebody and not feel shame for
trying to sort your shit out.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Have you ever talked to anyone, Brian?

Speaker 3 (46:52):
No, he talks to everyone yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
I talk to myself a lot.
Does that count?

Speaker 1 (46:58):
I do that too.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
I'm scared of what I'll get into.
Why?

Speaker 1 (47:05):
are you afraid?

Speaker 3 (47:05):
Because God only knows what I'll unpack Do you
want him to unpack, I'll supporthim in whatever.
Does it scare you?
No, it's not going to changewho he is.
No, I understand that Maybeit's going to be better.
I have no idea it can't get anyworse.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
I'm afraid the rapist would go hang themselves after.
I talked to him for a couplehours.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
By the rapist he means the therapist.
Thank you, sean Connery.
Yeah, so for anyone who hasn'tseen the Sean Connery clip, we
say la tits now.
And you know, for Let it Snowall of the.
We have a lot of inside jokesand it probably doesn't read
well for listeners of thepodcast, and so for that I'm

(47:45):
deeply apologetic.
Uh no, I'm curious about thatbecause you're you're in this
sandwich generation I thinkright for our kids.
We want them to talk about thethings and talk about the
feelings and whatever.
But are we setting the exampleright when you, when you want
your kids to deal with theirstuff?
I want, I want my kids to dealwith their stuff.
The girls have more than todeal with their stuff.
The girls have more than Wileydoes, just because of their
setup for things.

(48:05):
But as they embark on unpackingthings and working through
trauma, I'm so proud of thembecause I know how good that
feels on the other side Not thatI'm on the other side, but just
being willing to do that work.
And so it's interesting because, yes, we're trying to encourage
them to do that, but thenleading by example doesn't hurt
when you start unpacking,because you will, when you start

(48:27):
unpacking, keep me posted howthat goes I'd like to see how it
ties in with front row seatyeah, yeah, I don't.
I don't think it's a bad thing.
Oh, you know, cameron hasstarted unpacking stuff and it's
and it's fascinating to mebecause we talk about being
interested in other people'sdynamics for stuff.
Right, I know that you're verymuch into that of like helping
other people and what is thatand how did that tie in and

(48:49):
where were you in the birthorder and how do your parents?
You know how, like to me, it'sfascinating for all that.
So I think I mentioned this toyou last time, turning that on
yourself and starting to reallyget curious about that.
Very cool.
Yeah yourself and starting toreally get curious about that.
Very cool, yeah, very cool,because especially, you know,
when you're able to get otherpeople's perspectives on how
they saw things listening to amytalk about things that I don't

(49:11):
remember but then when she'spainting that picture, I'm like,
yeah, that tracks well, thecool part is, amy gives everyone
a perspective of what your momwas like before any of you were
around, or that you remember,which is really cool yeah like
what were our parents like whenthey were in their early 20s or
when they had small children, orI mean we don't.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
There was no movies, there was no.
All of their pictures are gonebecause of the fire.
They lost all of that stuff.
So we have pictures from theirwedding, but then we don't have
a lot at all until you guys werearound.
But that's.
Those are fun years, likelistening to them talk about
their stories and my parents tooin their early 20s or whatever,
and the struggles they had andthe fun they had and all that.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
It's fascinating because they came along and
ruined it yeah, well, I mean,they had plenty of fun.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
They were blowing shit up at parties, I'm sure too
, probably not to the sameextent, but came from from
somewhere.
Yeah, but I love talking tothem when you sit down and you
just start asking questions, andmy favorite are the ones when
they differ on their answers.
Those are super fun.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Those are the best.
Those are the best, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:15):
Well, that's so strange because, Bruce, my
brother, uh, I've talked to mysister-in-law about you know,
all this stuff growing up, andmy brother doesn't remember any
of this.
He had a wonderful childhood,he had you know it's not that
our childhood was bad.
We didn't know any better.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
No, well, that's the whole thing.
Like there's not anybody toblame for this.
You know, when we talk and Itell Mom and Dad that all the
time Like I truly believe andthis is later realization for me
, but I truly believe that theydid the best that they could
with what they have, because Ialso look at how I fucked up my
kids and I think I truly believeI'm doing the best that I can.

(50:56):
But I look back and I think,god, I could have done so much
better.
Not in that moment.
I was doing the best that Icould with what I had.
Yes, I know better now, so I dobetter now, but they're just
doing the best that they can.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
So to hear their stories about stuff to me it's
huge and I would love to hearhow they feel about that too,
because in the last couple yearsI've spoken with my mom and she
has said that she feels likeshe let us down my sisters and I

(51:28):
when we were younger becauseshe was similar to you.
She was growing a business, shewas doing all these things, but
it was.
She was there every day, allday.
Dad was working to support thebusiness and the rest of us, and
so she wasn't at parties atschool, she wasn't a room mother
for anything, but she workedher ass off for us.
And when she said she felt likeshe cheated us and that she
wasn't able to be there for uswhen we were small, I said, mom,
you did absolutely the opposite.
You were the mom that broughtchickens to school so everyone

(51:49):
could see what small chickenswere.
She wrestled a turkey atthanksgiving and brought a
full-size tom turkey to schooland left it there for two days
and fed it and did all thethings so that everyone could
see you know where that stuffcomes from.
Like mom, no one else did thatright.
I'm definitely not gonnawrestle a fucking turkey and
bring it to school, no way.

(52:11):
But she did all these thingsand I said, mom, you've given us
the example of you put yourfamily first every time.
Your kids were absolutelynumber one.
But you gave us an example ofwork ethics similar to what
Wiley has said about you.
That is unmatched and that wasso important to us, like it
didn't matter that she was awoman.
She could kick anybody's ass.

(52:32):
She was a badass, she wasawesome.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
She was angry.

Speaker 3 (52:37):
Your mom was angry.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
No, not really.
She was an asshole though.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
She was tough.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
She was intimidating when I first met her.
Well, she should be it's awhole different thing for women
it's a.
It's a totally different thingfor women to hold their own.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Yeah, she like it doesn't see that at all.
She does not see herself as ayeah, as intimidating.
I agree, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
I respect the shit out of that.
I've been told a bunch over thecourse of my life that I'm
intimidating and I'm like Idon't feel like that at all.
I don't.
But I look at that from theoutside and it's like I
understand it.
But that's just what you haveto do when you're getting coffee
for a husband that's growinghis business dickhead confidence
is perceived as intimidation.
Yeah, brennan has a for thelisteners at home.

(53:20):
Brennan has a way that he likesto rib me about.
You know, when I was startingthe construction company with my
husband Because theconstruction company is so
incredibly antiquated in theirbeliefs and the thought for a
lot of the people that we didbusiness with was that I would
be the one that would get thecoffee for my husband and answer

(53:40):
phones While the men did thebusiness, while the men did the
business and for anyone thatknows us understands that.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
It's not the case, but, god, it gets under your
skin and I fucking love it.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
It doesn't anymore, but it is funny, right?
I find it funny because it'salso it hasn't changed that much
.
I still look at women inconstruction and I still feel
like, and not just construction.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
No, it's not just construction.

Speaker 1 (54:00):
No, it's not just construction and that's all I
mean.
That's it.
That's the industry that I knowthe most, but I still look at
that and I think we shouldn'thave to work so hard to industry
the same way.
Yeah, I don't have very many inmy industry at all, yeah right
and do you feel like you have towork twice as hard to be able
to take be taken half asseriously?

Speaker 3 (54:17):
I don't really give a shit.
My I go to work so that I cannot provide, because brennan
does all that.
He's the man um, so that I canbe um, involved and plugged in
with the kids like being a momwas always number one in my job
search even before we weremarried or had children.
Yeah, my job search had to dowith what I could do and still

(54:38):
be a mom.
So I like what I do and Ireally like who I work with, but
it doesn't matter to me at all.
I'm I'm close enough to be tothe kids whatever they want.
I can.
Nothing I do changes the courseof the free world, so I can
help my mom and dad when theyneed it.
I can help the kids.
I can get bread and coffee.
I can do whatever.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Whatever needs to be done God, lucky men, lucky men
out there, she can clean thehouse.
No, I don't do that.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Be well prepared to present herself when I get home.

Speaker 3 (55:05):
Yes, just so everyone knows there's a lot of jokes
that happen in our family abouthow amazing the men are, Because
generally speaking, the womenin our relationships generally
have bigger dicks than the mendo anyway, but it's super fun to
be able to watch, to talk toour parents about those things
Because, like I said, my momperceived herself as letting us
down and that's definitely not.
That was not the case at all.

(55:25):
So it'll be fun to see, as weget older, what we see as our um
, inadequacies or whatever withparenting that our children
don't perceive as that and theysee something different.
Yeah, but to raise our children, I really enjoy parenting.
I think it's super fun.
It's never the same.
But if we can raise all four ofour kids to be individuals and
themselves, which that's turningout they're all pretty

(55:50):
individual.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Yeah, but you know what I think?
That's the success.
You know I was yesterday, sotoday is my baby's 18th birthday
and I do not have minorchildren anymore which I have
been a mom my entire life.
I had Brittany when I wasbarely 19, and so I have
literally been a mom my entireadult life, and yesterday I
opened his senior pictures andtears just started running down

(56:13):
my face, but I thought ofexactly what you're talking
about.
Right now I have three childrenwho march to the beat of their
own drummer, who are their ownindividuals, who are amazing,
who speak their truth, who standup for themselves, who know
what they believe in and aren'tafraid to question.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
And their drums all harmonize really well together,
absolutely, because they're allindividual, but their sibling
bond is so cool it is and familyis everything to me and, like
your mom was saying, as far aslike feeling like you work too
hard or whatever, I think we alldo what we think is the best in
that moment and I'm just I'mI'm honored and proud to have
them around and watching youguys raise your kids.

(56:54):
I tell this to people all thetime you have there's a very
limited group of children thatI'm willing to be around,
because children are horrible.
Let's just be honest I hatechildren.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
And I disagree.
I'll take all the answersExactly exactly.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
Yeah, caitlin, they can all go to her.
But I think parents nowadaysare doing a bang-up job and so
I'm not interested in beingaround most people's children.
But I look at your guys' kidsand I've never been more proud
because you are know, more proudbecause you are.
You, you talk with them, youencourage them to be themselves,
you don't just let them keeptheir heads in phones and not be
plugged into the world aroundthem and and to me I just think

(57:28):
that's so incredibly importantin raising capable human beings,
that's what we're trying to do.
Is you're trying to raise yourchildren to be capable to handle
the world that's out there, nottake all of the hard stuff away
from them so that they don'thave to do that.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
And as the older girls have gotten older and
they've all been in the sameschool K through 12, so they've
had the same scenario the wholetime.
But for them to talk about someof their interactions with some
of the other parents thatthey've known their entire lives
, that they have memories of,and to see the differences in
how other parents interact witheach other and their children,

(58:03):
has been very eye-opening.
Like some of the girls' friends, I mean it's amazing when they
say your parents still like eachother, yeah, and like that
doesn't occur to us, right, likeYou're just living it.
We're just living it, yeah, andit's pretty awesome, yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Who was it after the basketball game at CU.

Speaker 3 (58:26):
One of the girls as friends.
Yeah, we were leaving and wewere holding hands and laughing
and doing whatever, and two ofthe girls told um elizabeth,
like I wish my parents stillliked each other.
Yeah, like that's heartbreaking.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
It is heartbreaking.
I was talking to wiley lastnight, uh, and and said do your
friends have relationships withtheir parents like this?
Because the stuff that we weretalking with Wiley about was
it's always deep, importantstuff, right, we talk about all
the things.
And he said not even close.
Not even close.
His friends do not haverelationships with their parents

(58:56):
where they're willing to talkabout anything.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
And I just I think that's a shame and I hope they
have other adults in their lifethat they are willing to because
, we have like, like youmentioned, our friend group is
amazing.
If something were to happen toour girls and I didn't answer my
phone because I didn't knowwhere it was, because I don't
have the time and brennan wasbusy, there's 10 other people
that they could call and theywould be there that fast because
they are willing to share ofthemselves with them and vice

(59:21):
versa.
It is so cool.
It takes a village and ourvillage is pretty fucking
amazing.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
I agree with that.
I agree with that and I thinkthat's awesome as well.
All right, you guys.
God, this has been a lot of fun.
Thank you for coming on andbeing willing to share all of
the things.
Amy's all too happy to shareall of the stories about.

Speaker 4 (59:40):
I've got like eight more hours.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
Eight more hours of stories about you shitty
children and what that scar lefton her.

Speaker 3 (59:50):
Well, maybe you should see someone about that.
Just tell us.
Just tell us all I'm readywhenever.
I'll just take good notes andand we'll share it later.
Just record it and love ityou're the herdman herder.

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
Yeah, all right.
Well, uh, I I forgot my notestoday, everyone.
So just we're.
We've been wang chunging it.
So, uh, we're at the end of ourtime.
Uh, do all the things I youknow.

Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Email address is ladies at if you're offended by
this, fuck off right.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
All the, yeah, thank god, we have brennan here to do
the public service announcement.
Uh, ladies at, I shouldn't evengive the email address after
you say shit like that, ladiesat letsgetnakedpodcastcom, and
we'll forward those right alongto Brennan, please make sure to
rate, review, share, do all thethings.
And again, thank you guys.

(01:00:37):
I appreciate your time.
Thanks for having us.

Speaker 4 (01:00:38):
That's a wrap.
Thanks for having us.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
Yeah, that's a wrap.
I'd love to help you getvulnerable.
Let's get naked.