January 2, 2025 • 32 mins
What does it take to find hope in the darkest of times? Join us in a gripping conversation with Vikisha Smith as she bravely recounts the heart-wrenching loss of her daughter, Ke 'Asia Andrea' Adkins in 2018. Through Vikisha's candid and emotional storytelling, we learn about Ke 'Asia's vibrant life, her many talents in dance, sports, and academics, and the unbreakable bond she shared with her mother. Vikisha opens up about the devastating moment she realized her daughter was missing, revealing the layers of grief compounded by the involvement of a family member. This poignant dialogue not only honors Ke' Asia's life but also showcases Vikisha's extraordinary resilience in the aftermath of unimaginable tragedy.
My discussion with Vikisha unfolds the complexity of navigating personal trauma while grappling with fractured family dynamics. She shares the relentless search for her daughter, highlighting how technology and relentless determination led to uncovering the truth. As Vikisha reflects on her journey of healing, she emphasizes the importance of therapy, storytelling, and creative outlets. Through initiatives like "Ke' Asia's Angels" and personal projects such as journaling and book publishing, Vikisha transforms personal pain into a powerful force for connection and healing. Tune in to witness the transformative power of sharing one's story and the profound impact it can have on fostering community support and finding peace.
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Episode Transcript
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Chuck (00:22):
One two, virginia, here to share her experience that she
went through with the passingof her daughter from a horrific
situation in 2018.
But she also shares how she gotthrough it here to let somebody
know who's going through thesame thing, that you're not
alone.
So, hey, you don't want to missthis conversation today.
Do me a favor Go and grab yourhusband, your wife, your
(00:42):
children, or even call a friendand gather around to listen to
my conversation with me andVikisha on let's Just Talk About
it podcast.
Hey, let's jump right in.
Welcome back to another episodeof let's Just Talk About it
podcast.
I have Miss Vikisha Smith onwith us.
(01:04):
How are you doing today?
Vikisha Smith (01:05):
I'm doing all right, and yourself.
Chuck (01:06):
Doing great, doing great.
Thank you for being on.
Thank you for having me,vakeesha on let's Just Talk
About it podcast is a platformgeared toward giving people an
opportunity to share a portionof their life's journey, and I
love to start off with thisquestion when did you grow up?
Vikisha Smith (01:24):
I actually grew up in Petersburg, Virginia, in
Pecan Acres, but my mom moved usto Dinwiddie County when I was
going to the middle school, so Iwas around about what 12?
Chuck (01:35):
Okay, so you pretty much grew up in Dinwiddie.
Okay, yes, so how was that foryou as a kid in Dinwiddie?
Vikisha Smith (01:43):
It was okay.
I live in a nice neighborhoodcalled Central Woods.
My mom bought a house.
She was proud of herself.
My best friend actually livedin the same neighborhood when I
moved there.
I grew up with her inPetersburg, in Pecan Acres, and
they moved and then when wemoved out there she was in the
neighborhood too.
So it was pretty cool.
I had my friends you know, wentto school with with some people
(02:05):
, met a couple of new people,friends got you, got you.
Chuck (02:08):
What's one of your greatest childhood memories out
there?
Vikisha Smith (02:10):
in central woods.
Yeah, when um the girls used torace the boys, we used to run
track around the big circle sowe had like relay races when we
were younger.
We used to just be verycompetitive.
Outside fun Kids.
Don't do that now, but yeah.
Chuck (02:28):
Yeah, not at all.
But, Kikisha, as I stated,let's Just Talk About it.
Podcast is a platform gearedtowards giving you know, genuine
people like yourself, anopportunity to share a piece of
your life's journey.
And so Keisha Cobb, who wasrecently a guest, introduced us
to each other because she feltlike you had a traumatic
experience to share that couldpossibly help someone else get
(02:51):
through their traumaticexperience.
And before this interview, wetalked about.
Your daughter lost her life bythe negligence of a family
member, you know.
So I want to talk about that alittle bit, because you never
know who's listening, right?
But first, in talking aboutyour daughter, would you mind
sharing with the listeningaudience what was your daughter?
Vikisha Smith (03:12):
like.
She was a competitive dancerand she danced for the school
marching band.
She ran track, she playedsoccer.
She did all that while workingat Burger King and maintaining a
3.0 grade average.
(03:33):
She was a child of God.
She was just a loving younglady.
You know, I couldn't ask fortwo better girls.
Chuck (03:41):
Got you, wow.
What was your greatest memoriesabout your daughter?
Vikisha Smith (03:45):
We always did everything together Got you, wow
.
Chuck (03:46):
What was your greatest memories about your daughter?
Vikisha Smith (03:48):
We always did everything together, Mm
tight-knit.
Chuck (03:49):
Yeah, mm.
Vikisha Smith (03:50):
She was the one that always wanted to be with me
.
Chuck (03:53):
Okay.
Vikisha Smith (03:53):
So everything I did or wherever I went, she
wanted to go.
If she could, she went with me.
Chuck (03:58):
Wow, amazing Moving forward about your daughter.
What's her name?
What was her name?
Her name was Keyasia AndreaAtkins.
Wow, wow.
So would you feel comfortablesharing what happened to your
daughter with the listeningaudience so we can you know know
what?
Vikisha Smith (04:13):
yes, no problem.
Um well, it was a Mondaymorning, I had volunteered to go
to work at a veterans facilityin Richmond and um, I left
around about five something inthe morning because I had to be
at work at seven.
I always try to leave a littleearly and I peeped in and
checked in on an actual was herfather or grandmother going to
(04:34):
take her to cheer practice?
Because she didn't want todrive her car?
And she said she was going tocall me and let me know.
So I ended up leaving and I gotto work a little bit before
seven.
And I started trying to call herabout 10-ish that morning when
I finally got a break to see whowas going to take it to cheer
(04:55):
practice, but I never got ananswer.
So I kept calling and callingand I never got an answer.
And then when I called againher phone went to voicemail.
So I remember that my nephewwas there because it was right
after the Father's Day weekend,and I asked him I said, is
Kiesha there?
I've been trying to call herand he was like no, she left.
And I'm like left with who?
(05:17):
And he was like she left withthe boy.
And I'm like, well, what did helook like?
And he was like I don't knowwhat he looked like.
So I'm like, well, what kind ofcar did he have?
He was like I don't know.
So to me that kind of raisedsuspicions because if you know
she left with a boy, you gotsome kind of idea what he looked
like his stature clothes orsomething, what he's driving.
(05:37):
And he said she left with a boy.
So it didn't sound right to me.
I got off the phone and Icalled her dad and I'm like, can
you go to my mom's house andsee if Ki-Aja there or find out
what's going on?
Because I've been trying tocall her and I didn't get an
answer.
And I said my nephew told methat she left with a boy.
But I know my kids, I know mydaughters.
When I called they answered andthat's only dealing with stuff
(05:58):
that I've been through in life.
So I kind of worry a little bit.
Right, he said, well, I'm goingto go out there and check on
her.
But he waited until like two,three hours later to go see.
So he eventually went out there.
He talked to my nephew and mynephew told him that she left.
She went to chair practice.
So it didn't bother him.
He figured that she already hadarrived at chair practice
(06:18):
because he knew he was going.
So you know, hours went on,hours went on and I kept calling
and I kept calling them likeI'm not getting an answer and,
like I said, it raised a flag tome when they don't answer or
text me back.
That's right, Because theyalready know the rules.
If I call you answer.
Chuck (06:32):
If you can't talk, text me.
Vikisha Smith (06:35):
So later on it just kept getting later and I
kept calling my mom.
I think I called her dad and Ithink I called someone else, but
I can't remember who it was.
But I know it wasn't like myclose friends or whatever,
because it really didn't dawn onme to call them.
But eventually I ended upleaving work because I was
working a 16 hour shift.
I ended up leaving about alittle after 10 o'clock at night
.
So I ended up going to my oldneighborhood where I used to
(06:58):
live and asked one of hercheerleader friends if she came
to.
Did she come to practice today?
Because I knew she had practice.
So when the young lady told methat Keisha never showed up,
they thought she had the drivingrange.
It didn't, you know, dawn onthem that she was missing.
So I knew when she told me thatshe didn't come to cheer
practice, something was wrong,because I knew she didn't have
(07:18):
the driving range because wediscussed that already.
She had that that Wednesday andthat Friday.
So I immediately went home andI waited like till 12 o'clock
because I wanted to have a 24hour period, sort of kind of.
But I didn't wait until six inthe morning.
I just called, at 12 o'clock.
Chuck (07:37):
Right.
Vikisha Smith (07:38):
And talked to the Dinwiddie County police and
they told me that they was goingto send someone out and they
did and I did the report about,you know, a missing child or
whatever.
And they was trying to say thatbecause it was the summer break
, that she probably was out withfriends and all of that.
But I knew as a mother that mykid wasn't out at parties and
doing things because I didn'tget that information from her
(07:59):
Right right.
So I knew that couldn't havebeen it.
So it went on for days buriedin a shallow grave wow.
Chuck (08:11):
So how far is that from where you live, your mom?
Vikisha Smith (08:15):
my mom, um, owns a house, like I said, in century
woods so it was maybe, I thinkthey said a thousand yards from
her house, so it's like a woodedarea around century woods.
So she was buried on the sideof the wooded area, where it's
like a bunch of trees and leavesand stuff like that.
So it's like it's not houses,there's just a bunch of uh, wood
(08:35):
area so they told you theyfound it.
Chuck (08:39):
What was your first reaction to that?
Vikisha Smith (08:41):
well, I really can't say I had a reaction
because I was still kind ofshocked because she was missing
right because, like I said, itwas so many days and, um, I
didn't know what to think.
Yeah, because she was missingfor so many days, I had all
kinds of thoughts in my head.
Chuck (08:56):
That's what I was going to ask you.
What was going through yourmind those days that you didn't
hear or see your daughter?
That had to be kind ofdevastating, Like wow, where is
she at?
Vikisha Smith (09:05):
I wasn't sleeping .
I stayed up the entire timelooking out the window, hoping
she'll pull up or whatever.
But then I got the thinking of,like trafficking, you know, all
different types of stuff, wasjust going through my head right
.
So when they came and they wasgoing to do the search, it
didn't take them long.
It took them maybe like 10-15minutes to find her because they
had a cadaver dog.
I was praying to God.
(09:25):
I was like, look, I don't carehow you bring her back to me,
just bring her back to me wow.
Chuck (09:30):
So what made them go to your mom's house?
Vikisha Smith (09:32):
Because my nephew was there and they have where
the suspect I guess is like thelast person that's seen him or
been around or whatever, and hehad an ankle monitor on whatever
tracking that they use tolocate her or her phone.
They use your phone to bing itand all that.
Her phone never left my mom'shouse, so they use your phone to
(09:52):
be in and all that.
Her phone never left my mom'shouse.
So they said she never left.
So and then they had questioned, um, my nephew, and he told
them, I guess, the same storythat she had left, but his story
wasn't adding up to you knowwhat they seen.
And then he, yeah, and he alsohad, took a lie detective test
and he failed that, which youcan't use stuff like that in
(10:15):
court.
But they knew he was lying, sohis ankle monitor put him in an
area where she was, where herbody was found.
But I'm not quite sure ifthat's exactly how they found
him.
But, like I said, they had acadaver dog and the man that had
the dog said once the dog gotout there, the dog ran to her
immediately, but he didn't givethe dog a command.
(10:36):
So they didn't.
You know, I'm not going to saypay attention.
They just called the dog back.
And then they told the dog tofind her and he ran to the same
area.
But they called the dog backjust again because the dog was
moving so quickly.
So then when they pulled the dogback the dog went again.
So they said, okay, something'sgot to be over there.
So when they went over there Iguess you know they have a smell
(10:57):
or a stitch Right when theycould find a corpse or a dead
person, they immediately seenlike her arm from under the
leaves.
So they noticed that it was abody.
They couldn't say for sure ifit was her at the time, but when
they went over there they theyfound her and they came back
into the home and was like, well, we found.
They didn't say we found her,they just said we found the body
(11:19):
.
We can't say if it's her or notbecause, um, when they found
her she had two black trash bagszip tied against her head.
So I don't think they removedthat until they identified yeah,
to identify her, but they didask me for like identifying
marks and I remember that I hadjust took her the month before
before her birthday to get atattoo.
(11:39):
She wanted a torch tattoo and Igot it on her upper left
shoulder.
And then I also remember thatwe went and got our nails done
and I told them the color of hernail polish on her toes and her
fingers.
So when they came back hourslater because I had to leave the
home because they did like youknow how they put the yellow-
tape up, Yellow tape around yeah.
We had to leave the crime sceneso they put me in a hotel.
(12:00):
So they came back like hourslater and was asking me, like
the identifying marks again, andthat's what I told them Wow,
and then they showed me, look, asmall picture of her tattoo,
like just the picture of thetattoo, and I identified that.
And that's when I asked themabout the nail polish and that's
how I got to identify her.
Chuck (12:20):
Did you like have like a feeling that that was her at the
time?
Vikisha Smith (12:25):
When they told me that they found A body, mm-hmm,
I kind of knew it was herbecause, like I said, for her to
be gone so long and—.
Chuck (12:34):
And near your mother's house.
Vikisha Smith (12:36):
Yeah, and at my mom's house I kind of knew when
they said we found a body.
I'm like that's her, you know.
Wow, because it was just soclose.
Chuck (12:45):
Yeah, absolutely so, being—that's your mom's house,
mm-hmm, how does your motherreact to that being so near to
her house?
It had to be devastating, notonly to you, but to her as well.
Vikisha Smith (12:59):
Yes, it really took a toll on my mom.
She just cried a lot.
She's not, she's not one ofthose parents that would express
her emotions or feelings orwhatever.
And during that time it was somany emotions within my family
that I was angry with her.
And I was angry with herbecause his behavior was gearing
(13:20):
up to, I guess, the act that hedid, because he went off that
morning on my mother's friend.
But, like I said, it was soearly that we had just moved
back with my mom.
She didn't think that she, Iguess she forgot that Kiesha was
still there right in the roomsleeping.
So she just immediately movedher friend out and they left.
So she left him and her there,but Kiesha was asleep and Anton
(13:42):
was still there wow.
Chuck (13:45):
So, as I stated, that's your family member yes, that's
my brother's, son wow, wow,that's.
That's complicated becausethere has to be, like a lot of
you know what I mean going a lotof animosity, being that's a
family member, so it's like youhave to love them at the same
time because you're related tothem.
(14:06):
On the other hand, there'sanger because of what he did to
your daughter.
How did you balance that?
Vikisha Smith (14:15):
During that time I didn't balance it because I
was more angry than I was love.
I was angry with him Makessense.
I was angry with my brother.
I was angry with my mom, I wasangry with his mom.
So at that time and for thefirst two, three years, I was
angry.
It was nothing they could sayor do to make me feel better
(14:36):
because, at the end of the day,your child, regardless if he's
away or not, he's still alive.
My child is not and I don'tknow this.
Chuck (14:44):
I don't know what actually happened, because she's
not here to tell to tell itwhat happened and I would never
probably know wow, so you saidfor three years there was like
anger and no, no communicationyes, I wasn't communicating with
my brother.
Vikisha Smith (15:03):
I started talking with my mom, but I was angry
with her too because I felt likeshe could have, you know, got
my daughter's attention and gother up, let her leave, get in
her car and go stay with her dadIf she saw this behavior in
this young man.
But then I realized we had justmoved back and my mom was older
.
She probably wasn't thinking toget Keisha out of the house.
(15:25):
She was just trying to diffusethe situation at that moment
with her friend, with this youngman.
Chuck (15:30):
Right, Because I guess in your mind you never think like
something like that will takeplace.
You know, yes, yeah, wow, it'sbeen since what?
2000,.
You said 18?
Vikisha Smith (15:43):
2018.
Chuck (15:44):
Wow.
So how has that grievingprocess been like you know since
then?
How did you get through that?
Vikisha Smith (15:52):
First and foremost, foremost, I never lost
faith in God.
Um.
Second, I ended up leaving myjob and started traveling as a
nurse, going out of the states,going to different states.
Um, me and my daughter used tolove to go to the beaches, so I
constantly went to the beach.
That was like a place of peace.
I saw a psychiatrist, startedseeing a psychiatrist Even when
(16:15):
I was on the road.
We did phone conversations, soa lot of that Played a part,
yeah.
And then I had friends that wasthere for me.
When I wasn't In a good headspace, they would be around.
Chuck (16:27):
Yeah.
Vikisha Smith (16:28):
So it took a lot, it really did, and it took
patience and just took a lot itreally did and it's a patience
and just took a lot of time.
I'm not going to say I'mcompletely healed.
I don't think I ever will beyeah, but it just took.
It just took time.
Chuck (16:40):
Wow, so you talked about therapy, and so talk to us about
that process of going totherapy, because sometimes
people feel like they don't needtherapy to get through moments.
How important has therapy beento you to navigate through it?
You know what I'm saying, likehow has it helped you?
Vikisha Smith (17:02):
It helped tremendously A lot of people, a
lot of black people don't thinktherapy is good.
They don't want to tell peopleyour business, but sometimes you
can talk to someone you don'tknow is good.
They don't want to tell peopleyour business, but sometimes you
can talk to someone you don'tknow better than you can talk to
someone you do know.
You can be more open and freeto speak with that person and
you know they're not going tojudge or anything and they're
getting to like the root of theproblems or whatever situation
(17:25):
you may have.
And, like I say, it helped meout because even still dealing
with my kids death, I still hadother things that I didn't get
over as a child.
So it was bringing those thingsback up.
Why, like the way I was feelingwith my kids, like I didn't
want them to leave withouttelling me stuff, why don't you
know them calling me all thetime, just constantly checking
(17:47):
on them?
So learning and remembering whyI was like that it helped with
past traumas got you.
Chuck (17:55):
Wow, you talk about past trauma.
What were some of the thingsthat going to therapy triggered
that reminded you of what youwere going through?
Vikisha Smith (18:07):
trusting people got you it made it more
difficult and I still have thatproblem a little bit, um, with
trusting people.
Got you, it made it moredifficult and I still have that
problem a little bit withtrusting people because, like I
said with my pastor, I hadproblems growing up trusting
people, you know, and then Ididn't even think that I would
have to worry about it in my ownfamily.
Chuck (18:24):
Got you.
So, yeah, trust is big.
You're right, it's like onceit's broken.
It's like once it's broken,it's like you.
You become suspicious of a lotof things, a lot of things.
Vikisha Smith (18:34):
You constantly, you know worrying, and sometimes
you're worrying for nothing,but you're so used to dealing
with certain things.
It just triggers it right.
Chuck (18:45):
Well, isn't that crazy how we could create our own
story in our heads.
It is not even a reality.
But because of trauma, you know, you create those scenarios in
your own head and I used to dothat a lot for the last couple
of years it was like keisha,relax, it's not this.
Vikisha Smith (19:00):
I'm like no, it is that serious.
Chuck (19:02):
But that's me you know, we all do, and I'm working on it
me, me too, we all do.
We all do so.
You're not by yourself, andthat's the crazy thing.
Sometimes we go through thingsand feel like we're the only
ones that are that are feelingthat way, and the reality of it
is we're not you know we're notyeah.
(19:23):
And the only way we don't knowis because we live in a culture
that we don't communicate nomore.
You know, we don't know.
Vikisha Smith (19:31):
And that's why I'll talk about it.
Or you know certain situations,because I'd never know who else
is going through that situation.
They may need to hear it.
And on my journey travelingthroughout the united states,
I've met people that, like Ididn't know.
You know, I I've been goingthrough this.
Or you know, learning otherpeople's stories, and they just
(19:51):
realize like they're not theonly ones you know.
So I don't know if that was mypurpose to do that, but I just
was being a child of God, Iguess.
Yeah.
Chuck (20:02):
Sharing your story.
You never.
I always say you never knowwho's listening.
You never know you know whoneeds that story Because, like I
said, we all go through similarthings in life, you know.
But yes sometimes we don't talkabout it.
Vikisha Smith (20:16):
Yep yeah, just never know.
Chuck (20:19):
Yeah, so I know, like at the funerals, people tend to go
back to work, people tend tojust go back to the norm, but
you are left with those emotions.
Tend to just go back to thenorm, but you are left with
those emotions.
How do you?
How do you keep?
Vikisha Smith (20:38):
her memory alive today.
I always try to celebrate herevery day, but on her birthday I
always pretty much go visit her, send her flowers, like I said,
do things within that week thatwe would normally do.
Recently, I started Key Asia'sAngels, healing One Heart, at a
Time where I have a dinner inthe month of May Gotcha
(20:59):
Celebrating her birthday andalso celebrating it with parents
and siblings that lost a childas well, regardless if it was
through homicide, suicide, thatwe can come together and we eat
and celebrate together and letpeople know that you're not by
yourself and we're all in thistogether.
I do that.
I recently started journaling.
(21:24):
I've had a book dedicated to mydaughter.
It's a Bible book where whenyou're listening to it, it's
called here's where my notes.
It's a sermon notes journalbook where, like saying, if
you're at where, when you'relistening to it, it's called His
Words, my Notes.
It's a sermon notes journalbook where, like saying, if
you're at church or you're athome and you're listening to a
sermon of a pastor, you writedown the notes the notes.
You know the chapter that he'sreading from and you write down
(21:46):
his notes and then his words andthen you write down your notes
of what you took from it or canrelate from the sermon, and it'd
be just your notes.
So it's called his words, mynotes.
So I did that in honor of herand um last year for her, and
it's dedicated to her so canpeople find that or?
(22:07):
yes, they can find it.
It's on amazon.
Yeah, it's um, you can buy itfrom off of Amazon.
Ok, yeah, so I also haveanother book that's coming out
in January.
Shout it out.
It's a vision board book andthat's the name of it and it's
like you know when you do aposter of your vision of your
future, what you're planning.
It has pages where you can putyour pictures and things in.
(22:30):
It has pages where you can putyour pictures and things in.
It also has like a section ofprayers and notes, diet and
exercise, you know daily taskstuff that you're planning on,
working on.
So that book is coming out inJanuary.
But, I've been doing this typeof stuff just to have a sense of
peace and it helps me with myhealing and I love to write, so
(22:50):
eventually I will end up writinga book about my story.
Wow on my life, but I'm justtaking like baby steps to get
there that would be amazing it'ssomething um how from our pain
in life that purpose comes fromit.
Chuck (23:06):
You know what I mean.
Like you, you find somethingthat not only helps you, but
helps somebody else.
Vikisha Smith (23:12):
Yes.
Chuck (23:13):
You know, true?
Wow, I hate for it to be likethat, but that's how it goes
sometimes.
That's how it is.
Vikisha Smith (23:21):
Maybe my purpose, I don't, you know, don't know.
But like I said, I feel likeI'm helping people sometimes
when I do talk about it.
Chuck (23:31):
Yeah, like now you're going, I do talk about it.
Yeah, like now you're going tohelp somebody.
Yeah, yeah, what would you sayto a parent who's going through
the same situation you'veexperienced with your child?
What would you say to them?
Because you're going to help alot of people, but what?
Vikisha Smith (23:53):
would you say to them if you was approached by
somebody who heard your storyand they just want to talk to
you one-on-one?
I just have to let them knowthat it gets better.
I mean, it gets better, it getseasier.
But you do have to take it oneday at a time and it's not going
to happen overnight.
You know, the grieving processcan be kind of tricky, because
one day you're feeling happy,the next day you're angry.
So you know you just havepeople around you that support
you and, like I said, you knowtalk to a therapist as well.
(24:20):
But my biggest thing is withinour community, especially the
black community't do anythingabout it.
They're eventually going to dosomething that they shouldn't do
(24:40):
.
Put it that way because youknow it steps to that They'll
trigger like isolation.
Yeah, you want them to get some.
You will want to get some kindof help and not just let them go
without any medication or sometype of treatment.
Because if they do you knowI've worked in mental health
those behaviors can cause deathor you can seriously hurt
(25:00):
someone and being in denial, youknow you're hurting that person
as well, the community, thesociety, because you don't want
to talk about mental illness,you don't want it to be in your
family.
People try to hide certainthings, those things you don't
want to hide.
They have medication, they havetreatment to help people with
those type of mental illnesses,and going without the treatment
(25:21):
could cause, like I said, dangerto someone else or even that
person, because not everybodyknows how a person is when
they're mentally ill.
Chuck (25:29):
So glad you said that you work in the mental health field
.
So for people who don't knowthey have children they see
their kids every day, you knowor husband or wife, spouse,
whatever.
What are some signs to be awareof that a person is going
through some type of depressionor stress.
You know what I'm saying.
Vikisha Smith (25:50):
You know, with depression and stress, you know,
a lot of people tend to isolatethemselves, stay away from
people.
Their eating habits change, theweight gain or loss change, you
know, harming themselves oranimals or someone else.
Little, small things.
Chuck (26:10):
Right.
Vikisha Smith (26:10):
You just pay attention to things.
That that's not normal and wewould say that's not normal it's
abnormal yeah it's veryabnormal.
You know any little things,behavior changes in school or at
work, um constantly talkingabout dying or hurting someone
or their behaviors.
They're hurting people, butit's starting to get it to the
extreme where they eventuallykill someone.
(26:32):
So you have to pay attention tothe clues, especially, you know
, learn your kids or your familymembers, their behaviors,
because it you they do havesigns you can't see and, like I
said, some of you be in denialgot you that they don't want to
believe that their child or thattheir loved one has this.
Chuck (26:49):
But or even personally.
You know personally, yeah, oreven personally.
Vikisha Smith (26:54):
You know Personally, yeah, they feel like
it's a shame to be a certaintype of way, but you can't help
how God created us, and theyhave medicines for those type of
things.
Chuck (27:04):
Wow.
Famous quote I've heard is it'sokay not to be okay.
Sometimes, you know.
Vikisha Smith (27:11):
It is yeah, because we're not going to wake
up every day okay, nope, we'renot going gonna wake up every
day.
Chuck (27:20):
No, okay, no, we're not gonna wake up every day happy,
it'd be nice, but that's not areality.
Vikisha Smith (27:22):
Nope, it's not a reality, and I feel like if you
gotta cry, cry, help.
Sometimes it makes it evenbetter when you do release those
tears instead of holding themin.
Chuck (27:30):
So and sometimes being mad is not a bad thing, but it's
how you control that emotionyes, yes, because, lord jesus,
it took some time and patiencewith that that's deep.
Um, here's a question for you.
If you could send a message toyour daughter, what would you
(27:53):
say to her?
Vikisha Smith (27:56):
First I would let her know that I love her.
Of course I know she knows thatI always said I'll tell her.
I'm sorry, I wish I was there.
And I want to let her know thatI'll keep living for her
because, like I said, she was afree spirit, so I was more so
into my kids than myself.
So I find myself doing moreadventurous things now that I
(28:17):
have free time so, and I knowshe be proud of me.
But yeah I let her know that Ilove her and I'm sorry I
couldn't be there.
Um yeah, wow.
Chuck (28:28):
So what do you do?
Go skydiving, what do you do?
Jump off?
Vikisha Smith (28:30):
I want to do that , I want to do that, but I can't
find anybody to do it.
They were like you know, you doit.
I'm like oh, gotta try it.
But I did jump off cliffs andstuff when I went to Jamaica
Like I've been doing crazy stuff, like stuff you wouldn't
normally do You're reserved?
I was so reserved.
I'm not reserved now, I'm justtrying it all.
I'm like hey, I'm not promisedtomorrow, so you can say I was
(28:53):
happy, I was living my life.
Like I said, I traveled the US.
I traveled by myself.
Chuck (28:57):
Okay.
Vikisha Smith (28:57):
It was just me and God.
They was like you ain't noweapon, Nope, don't need one.
I got the word I'm good and Igot there and back home safe, no
problem, just fun, Just youdecided to have fun.
You decided to have fun.
Chuck (29:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a big thing too, laughing.
Vikisha Smith (29:15):
Yeah.
Chuck (29:15):
And I try to be around people.
Vikisha Smith (29:17):
That's positive, that's laughing, that has good
spirit.
You know they want to dosomething in life, Right?
So that's what I've been doing.
Chuck (29:25):
That's amazing.
That is amazing.
Shout out to you, shout out toyou, thank you, yeah.
Last question what gives?
Vikisha Smith (29:40):
you hope, what gives you strength to keep
moving forward every day thatyou put your feet on the floor,
that one day, when I get calledhome, that I'll see her again,
and my father and my son, youknow so, if I live right on this
earth, I'll get there and I'llsee them again.
Chuck (29:55):
So I love that.
Vikisha Smith (29:56):
That gives me strength, like stay on a
positive track.
Chuck (29:59):
You'll see him again.
Vikisha Smith (30:00):
I'll see him again, man, but until then,
enjoy life.
Enjoy life.
Chuck (30:05):
Now, yeah, I like that.
What advice did you want toleave with the listening
audience or encouragement youwant to leave before we close
out?
Vikisha Smith (30:23):
Um, I just want people to know that they're not
alone.
Um, find someone that you cantalk to, especially a therapist.
I mean, there's nothing wrongwith talking to someone a
therapist about your problems.
Um, as far as the mental healthpart, don't't be ashamed, it's
all over.
People have mental illnesses.
Just get them help, get themtreated.
It possibly could savesomeone's life and in the
(30:46):
meantime, if you're goingthrough these things, try to
enjoy life and have positivepeople around you.
Chuck (30:50):
That's a big one.
Support positive people yeah, Iappreciate you.
Thank you for being one.
Support positive people yeah, Iappreciate you.
Thank you for being on.
Vikisha Smith (30:57):
Thank you for having me.
Chuck (30:58):
I enjoyed the conversation.
Your words of wisdom, I reallyappreciate that.
Vikisha Smith (31:02):
Thank you.
Chuck (31:03):
Yep.
So thanks again for being apart of let's Just Talk About it
podcast.
Wow, what an amazingconversation.
Shout out to you, vakeesha, forhaving this dialogue with me,
and thank you for having thecourage to share your journey of
healing to help others realizethat they are not alone.
We really appreciate you, and Ialso want to thank everyone for
(31:25):
always tuning in to let's JustTalk About it podcast and if you
have any media needs, such asvideography and photography, you
can reach out to me and mybusiness partner Low Mills at
M&B Media on Facebook.
Hey, so, as always, until nexttime, don't hold it in, but
let's just talk about it.
Talk to you soon.
1.
One two, virginia, here to share her experience that she
went through with the passingof her daughter from a horrific
situation in 2018.
But she also shares how she gotthrough it here to let somebody
know who's going through thesame thing, that you're not
alone.
So, hey, you don't want to missthis conversation today.
Do me a favor Go and grab yourhusband, your wife, your
(00:42):
children, or even call a friendand gather around to listen to
my conversation with me andVikisha on let's Just Talk About
it podcast.
Hey, let's jump right in.
Welcome back to another episodeof let's Just Talk About it
podcast.
I have Miss Vikisha Smith onwith us.
(01:04):
How are you doing today?
Vikisha Smith (01:05):
I'm doing all right, and yourself.
Chuck (01:06):
Doing great, doing great.
Thank you for being on.
Thank you for having me,vakeesha on let's Just Talk
About it podcast is a platformgeared toward giving people an
opportunity to share a portionof their life's journey, and I
love to start off with thisquestion when did you grow up?
Vikisha Smith (01:24):
I actually grew up in Petersburg, Virginia, in
Pecan Acres, but my mom moved usto Dinwiddie County when I was
going to the middle school, so Iwas around about what 12?
Chuck (01:35):
Okay, so you pretty much grew up in Dinwiddie.
Okay, yes, so how was that foryou as a kid in Dinwiddie?
Vikisha Smith (01:43):
It was okay.
I live in a nice neighborhoodcalled Central Woods.
My mom bought a house.
She was proud of herself.
My best friend actually livedin the same neighborhood when I
moved there.
I grew up with her inPetersburg, in Pecan Acres, and
they moved and then when wemoved out there she was in the
neighborhood too.
So it was pretty cool.
I had my friends you know, wentto school with with some people
(02:05):
, met a couple of new people,friends got you, got you.
Chuck (02:08):
What's one of your greatest childhood memories out
there?
Vikisha Smith (02:10):
in central woods.
Yeah, when um the girls used torace the boys, we used to run
track around the big circle sowe had like relay races when we
were younger.
We used to just be verycompetitive.
Outside fun Kids.
Don't do that now, but yeah.
Chuck (02:28):
Yeah, not at all.
But, Kikisha, as I stated,let's Just Talk About it.
Podcast is a platform gearedtowards giving you know, genuine
people like yourself, anopportunity to share a piece of
your life's journey.
And so Keisha Cobb, who wasrecently a guest, introduced us
to each other because she feltlike you had a traumatic
experience to share that couldpossibly help someone else get
(02:51):
through their traumaticexperience.
And before this interview, wetalked about.
Your daughter lost her life bythe negligence of a family
member, you know.
So I want to talk about that alittle bit, because you never
know who's listening, right?
But first, in talking aboutyour daughter, would you mind
sharing with the listeningaudience what was your daughter?
Vikisha Smith (03:12):
like.
She was a competitive dancerand she danced for the school
marching band.
She ran track, she playedsoccer.
She did all that while workingat Burger King and maintaining a
3.0 grade average.
(03:33):
She was a child of God.
She was just a loving younglady.
You know, I couldn't ask fortwo better girls.
Chuck (03:41):
Got you, wow.
What was your greatest memoriesabout your daughter?
Vikisha Smith (03:45):
We always did everything together Got you, wow
.
Chuck (03:46):
What was your greatest memories about your daughter?
Vikisha Smith (03:48):
We always did everything together, Mm
tight-knit.
Chuck (03:49):
Yeah, mm.
Vikisha Smith (03:50):
She was the one that always wanted to be with me
.
Chuck (03:53):
Okay.
Vikisha Smith (03:53):
So everything I did or wherever I went, she
wanted to go.
If she could, she went with me.
Chuck (03:58):
Wow, amazing Moving forward about your daughter.
What's her name?
What was her name?
Her name was Keyasia AndreaAtkins.
Wow, wow.
So would you feel comfortablesharing what happened to your
daughter with the listeningaudience so we can you know know
what?
Vikisha Smith (04:13):
yes, no problem.
Um well, it was a Mondaymorning, I had volunteered to go
to work at a veterans facilityin Richmond and um, I left
around about five something inthe morning because I had to be
at work at seven.
I always try to leave a littleearly and I peeped in and
checked in on an actual was herfather or grandmother going to
(04:34):
take her to cheer practice?
Because she didn't want todrive her car?
And she said she was going tocall me and let me know.
So I ended up leaving and I gotto work a little bit before
seven.
And I started trying to call herabout 10-ish that morning when
I finally got a break to see whowas going to take it to cheer
(04:55):
practice, but I never got ananswer.
So I kept calling and callingand I never got an answer.
And then when I called againher phone went to voicemail.
So I remember that my nephewwas there because it was right
after the Father's Day weekend,and I asked him I said, is
Kiesha there?
I've been trying to call herand he was like no, she left.
And I'm like left with who?
(05:17):
And he was like she left withthe boy.
And I'm like, well, what did helook like?
And he was like I don't knowwhat he looked like.
So I'm like, well, what kind ofcar did he have?
He was like I don't know.
So to me that kind of raisedsuspicions because if you know
she left with a boy, you gotsome kind of idea what he looked
like his stature clothes orsomething, what he's driving.
(05:37):
And he said she left with a boy.
So it didn't sound right to me.
I got off the phone and Icalled her dad and I'm like, can
you go to my mom's house andsee if Ki-Aja there or find out
what's going on?
Because I've been trying tocall her and I didn't get an
answer.
And I said my nephew told methat she left with a boy.
But I know my kids, I know mydaughters.
When I called they answered andthat's only dealing with stuff
(05:58):
that I've been through in life.
So I kind of worry a little bit.
Right, he said, well, I'm goingto go out there and check on
her.
But he waited until like two,three hours later to go see.
So he eventually went out there.
He talked to my nephew and mynephew told him that she left.
She went to chair practice.
So it didn't bother him.
He figured that she already hadarrived at chair practice
(06:18):
because he knew he was going.
So you know, hours went on,hours went on and I kept calling
and I kept calling them likeI'm not getting an answer and,
like I said, it raised a flag tome when they don't answer or
text me back.
That's right, Because theyalready know the rules.
If I call you answer.
Chuck (06:32):
If you can't talk, text me.
Vikisha Smith (06:35):
So later on it just kept getting later and I
kept calling my mom.
I think I called her dad and Ithink I called someone else, but
I can't remember who it was.
But I know it wasn't like myclose friends or whatever,
because it really didn't dawn onme to call them.
But eventually I ended upleaving work because I was
working a 16 hour shift.
I ended up leaving about alittle after 10 o'clock at night
.
So I ended up going to my oldneighborhood where I used to
(06:58):
live and asked one of hercheerleader friends if she came
to.
Did she come to practice today?
Because I knew she had practice.
So when the young lady told methat Keisha never showed up,
they thought she had the drivingrange.
It didn't, you know, dawn onthem that she was missing.
So I knew when she told me thatshe didn't come to cheer
practice, something was wrong,because I knew she didn't have
(07:18):
the driving range because wediscussed that already.
She had that that Wednesday andthat Friday.
So I immediately went home andI waited like till 12 o'clock
because I wanted to have a 24hour period, sort of kind of.
But I didn't wait until six inthe morning.
I just called, at 12 o'clock.
Chuck (07:37):
Right.
Vikisha Smith (07:38):
And talked to the Dinwiddie County police and
they told me that they was goingto send someone out and they
did and I did the report about,you know, a missing child or
whatever.
And they was trying to say thatbecause it was the summer break
, that she probably was out withfriends and all of that.
But I knew as a mother that mykid wasn't out at parties and
doing things because I didn'tget that information from her
(07:59):
Right right.
So I knew that couldn't havebeen it.
So it went on for days buriedin a shallow grave wow.
Chuck (08:11):
So how far is that from where you live, your mom?
Vikisha Smith (08:15):
my mom, um, owns a house, like I said, in century
woods so it was maybe, I thinkthey said a thousand yards from
her house, so it's like a woodedarea around century woods.
So she was buried on the sideof the wooded area, where it's
like a bunch of trees and leavesand stuff like that.
So it's like it's not houses,there's just a bunch of uh, wood
(08:35):
area so they told you theyfound it.
Chuck (08:39):
What was your first reaction to that?
Vikisha Smith (08:41):
well, I really can't say I had a reaction
because I was still kind ofshocked because she was missing
right because, like I said, itwas so many days and, um, I
didn't know what to think.
Yeah, because she was missingfor so many days, I had all
kinds of thoughts in my head.
Chuck (08:56):
That's what I was going to ask you.
What was going through yourmind those days that you didn't
hear or see your daughter?
That had to be kind ofdevastating, Like wow, where is
she at?
Vikisha Smith (09:05):
I wasn't sleeping .
I stayed up the entire timelooking out the window, hoping
she'll pull up or whatever.
But then I got the thinking of,like trafficking, you know, all
different types of stuff, wasjust going through my head right
.
So when they came and they wasgoing to do the search, it
didn't take them long.
It took them maybe like 10-15minutes to find her because they
had a cadaver dog.
I was praying to God.
(09:25):
I was like, look, I don't carehow you bring her back to me,
just bring her back to me wow.
Chuck (09:30):
So what made them go to your mom's house?
Vikisha Smith (09:32):
Because my nephew was there and they have where
the suspect I guess is like thelast person that's seen him or
been around or whatever, and hehad an ankle monitor on whatever
tracking that they use tolocate her or her phone.
They use your phone to bing itand all that.
Her phone never left my mom'shouse, so they use your phone to
(09:52):
be in and all that.
Her phone never left my mom'shouse.
So they said she never left.
So and then they had questioned, um, my nephew, and he told
them, I guess, the same storythat she had left, but his story
wasn't adding up to you knowwhat they seen.
And then he, yeah, and he alsohad, took a lie detective test
and he failed that, which youcan't use stuff like that in
(10:15):
court.
But they knew he was lying, sohis ankle monitor put him in an
area where she was, where herbody was found.
But I'm not quite sure ifthat's exactly how they found
him.
But, like I said, they had acadaver dog and the man that had
the dog said once the dog gotout there, the dog ran to her
immediately, but he didn't givethe dog a command.
(10:36):
So they didn't.
You know, I'm not going to saypay attention.
They just called the dog back.
And then they told the dog tofind her and he ran to the same
area.
But they called the dog backjust again because the dog was
moving so quickly.
So then when they pulled the dogback the dog went again.
So they said, okay, something'sgot to be over there.
So when they went over there Iguess you know they have a smell
(10:57):
or a stitch Right when theycould find a corpse or a dead
person, they immediately seenlike her arm from under the
leaves.
So they noticed that it was abody.
They couldn't say for sure ifit was her at the time, but when
they went over there they theyfound her and they came back
into the home and was like, well, we found.
They didn't say we found her,they just said we found the body
(11:19):
.
We can't say if it's her or notbecause, um, when they found
her she had two black trash bagszip tied against her head.
So I don't think they removedthat until they identified yeah,
to identify her, but they didask me for like identifying
marks and I remember that I hadjust took her the month before
before her birthday to get atattoo.
(11:39):
She wanted a torch tattoo and Igot it on her upper left
shoulder.
And then I also remember thatwe went and got our nails done
and I told them the color of hernail polish on her toes and her
fingers.
So when they came back hourslater because I had to leave the
home because they did like youknow how they put the yellow-
tape up, Yellow tape around yeah.
We had to leave the crime sceneso they put me in a hotel.
(12:00):
So they came back like hourslater and was asking me, like
the identifying marks again, andthat's what I told them Wow,
and then they showed me, look, asmall picture of her tattoo,
like just the picture of thetattoo, and I identified that.
And that's when I asked themabout the nail polish and that's
how I got to identify her.
Chuck (12:20):
Did you like have like a feeling that that was her at the
time?
Vikisha Smith (12:25):
When they told me that they found A body, mm-hmm,
I kind of knew it was herbecause, like I said, for her to
be gone so long and—.
Chuck (12:34):
And near your mother's house.
Vikisha Smith (12:36):
Yeah, and at my mom's house I kind of knew when
they said we found a body.
I'm like that's her, you know.
Wow, because it was just soclose.
Chuck (12:45):
Yeah, absolutely so, being—that's your mom's house,
mm-hmm, how does your motherreact to that being so near to
her house?
It had to be devastating, notonly to you, but to her as well.
Vikisha Smith (12:59):
Yes, it really took a toll on my mom.
She just cried a lot.
She's not, she's not one ofthose parents that would express
her emotions or feelings orwhatever.
And during that time it was somany emotions within my family
that I was angry with her.
And I was angry with herbecause his behavior was gearing
(13:20):
up to, I guess, the act that hedid, because he went off that
morning on my mother's friend.
But, like I said, it was soearly that we had just moved
back with my mom.
She didn't think that she, Iguess she forgot that Kiesha was
still there right in the roomsleeping.
So she just immediately movedher friend out and they left.
So she left him and her there,but Kiesha was asleep and Anton
(13:42):
was still there wow.
Chuck (13:45):
So, as I stated, that's your family member yes, that's
my brother's, son wow, wow,that's.
That's complicated becausethere has to be, like a lot of
you know what I mean going a lotof animosity, being that's a
family member, so it's like youhave to love them at the same
time because you're related tothem.
(14:06):
On the other hand, there'sanger because of what he did to
your daughter.
How did you balance that?
Vikisha Smith (14:15):
During that time I didn't balance it because I
was more angry than I was love.
I was angry with him Makessense.
I was angry with my brother.
I was angry with my mom, I wasangry with his mom.
So at that time and for thefirst two, three years, I was
angry.
It was nothing they could sayor do to make me feel better
(14:36):
because, at the end of the day,your child, regardless if he's
away or not, he's still alive.
My child is not and I don'tknow this.
Chuck (14:44):
I don't know what actually happened, because she's
not here to tell to tell itwhat happened and I would never
probably know wow, so you saidfor three years there was like
anger and no, no communicationyes, I wasn't communicating with
my brother.
Vikisha Smith (15:03):
I started talking with my mom, but I was angry
with her too because I felt likeshe could have, you know, got
my daughter's attention and gother up, let her leave, get in
her car and go stay with her dadIf she saw this behavior in
this young man.
But then I realized we had justmoved back and my mom was older
.
She probably wasn't thinking toget Keisha out of the house.
(15:25):
She was just trying to diffusethe situation at that moment
with her friend, with this youngman.
Chuck (15:30):
Right, Because I guess in your mind you never think like
something like that will takeplace.
You know, yes, yeah, wow, it'sbeen since what?
2000,.
You said 18?
Vikisha Smith (15:43):
2018.
Chuck (15:44):
Wow.
So how has that grievingprocess been like you know since
then?
How did you get through that?
Vikisha Smith (15:52):
First and foremost, foremost, I never lost
faith in God.
Um.
Second, I ended up leaving myjob and started traveling as a
nurse, going out of the states,going to different states.
Um, me and my daughter used tolove to go to the beaches, so I
constantly went to the beach.
That was like a place of peace.
I saw a psychiatrist, startedseeing a psychiatrist Even when
(16:15):
I was on the road.
We did phone conversations, soa lot of that Played a part,
yeah.
And then I had friends that wasthere for me.
When I wasn't In a good headspace, they would be around.
Chuck (16:27):
Yeah.
Vikisha Smith (16:28):
So it took a lot, it really did, and it took
patience and just took a lot itreally did and it's a patience
and just took a lot of time.
I'm not going to say I'mcompletely healed.
I don't think I ever will beyeah, but it just took.
It just took time.
Chuck (16:40):
Wow, so you talked about therapy, and so talk to us about
that process of going totherapy, because sometimes
people feel like they don't needtherapy to get through moments.
How important has therapy beento you to navigate through it?
You know what I'm saying, likehow has it helped you?
Vikisha Smith (17:02):
It helped tremendously A lot of people, a
lot of black people don't thinktherapy is good.
They don't want to tell peopleyour business, but sometimes you
can talk to someone you don'tknow is good.
They don't want to tell peopleyour business, but sometimes you
can talk to someone you don'tknow better than you can talk to
someone you do know.
You can be more open and freeto speak with that person and
you know they're not going tojudge or anything and they're
getting to like the root of theproblems or whatever situation
(17:25):
you may have.
And, like I say, it helped meout because even still dealing
with my kids death, I still hadother things that I didn't get
over as a child.
So it was bringing those thingsback up.
Why, like the way I was feelingwith my kids, like I didn't
want them to leave withouttelling me stuff, why don't you
know them calling me all thetime, just constantly checking
(17:47):
on them?
So learning and remembering whyI was like that it helped with
past traumas got you.
Chuck (17:55):
Wow, you talk about past trauma.
What were some of the thingsthat going to therapy triggered
that reminded you of what youwere going through?
Vikisha Smith (18:07):
trusting people got you it made it more
difficult and I still have thatproblem a little bit, um, with
trusting people.
Got you, it made it moredifficult and I still have that
problem a little bit withtrusting people because, like I
said with my pastor, I hadproblems growing up trusting
people, you know, and then Ididn't even think that I would
have to worry about it in my ownfamily.
Chuck (18:24):
Got you.
So, yeah, trust is big.
You're right, it's like onceit's broken.
It's like once it's broken,it's like you.
You become suspicious of a lotof things, a lot of things.
Vikisha Smith (18:34):
You constantly, you know worrying, and sometimes
you're worrying for nothing,but you're so used to dealing
with certain things.
It just triggers it right.
Chuck (18:45):
Well, isn't that crazy how we could create our own
story in our heads.
It is not even a reality.
But because of trauma, you know, you create those scenarios in
your own head and I used to dothat a lot for the last couple
of years it was like keisha,relax, it's not this.
Vikisha Smith (19:00):
I'm like no, it is that serious.
Chuck (19:02):
But that's me you know, we all do, and I'm working on it
me, me too, we all do.
We all do so.
You're not by yourself, andthat's the crazy thing.
Sometimes we go through thingsand feel like we're the only
ones that are that are feelingthat way, and the reality of it
is we're not you know we're notyeah.
(19:23):
And the only way we don't knowis because we live in a culture
that we don't communicate nomore.
You know, we don't know.
Vikisha Smith (19:31):
And that's why I'll talk about it.
Or you know certain situations,because I'd never know who else
is going through that situation.
They may need to hear it.
And on my journey travelingthroughout the united states,
I've met people that, like Ididn't know.
You know, I I've been goingthrough this.
Or you know, learning otherpeople's stories, and they just
(19:51):
realize like they're not theonly ones you know.
So I don't know if that was mypurpose to do that, but I just
was being a child of God, Iguess.
Yeah.
Chuck (20:02):
Sharing your story.
You never.
I always say you never knowwho's listening.
You never know you know whoneeds that story Because, like I
said, we all go through similarthings in life, you know.
But yes sometimes we don't talkabout it.
Vikisha Smith (20:16):
Yep yeah, just never know.
Chuck (20:19):
Yeah, so I know, like at the funerals, people tend to go
back to work, people tend tojust go back to the norm, but
you are left with those emotions.
Tend to just go back to thenorm, but you are left with
those emotions.
How do you?
How do you keep?
Vikisha Smith (20:38):
her memory alive today.
I always try to celebrate herevery day, but on her birthday I
always pretty much go visit her, send her flowers, like I said,
do things within that week thatwe would normally do.
Recently, I started Key Asia'sAngels, healing One Heart, at a
Time where I have a dinner inthe month of May Gotcha
(20:59):
Celebrating her birthday andalso celebrating it with parents
and siblings that lost a childas well, regardless if it was
through homicide, suicide, thatwe can come together and we eat
and celebrate together and letpeople know that you're not by
yourself and we're all in thistogether.
I do that.
I recently started journaling.
(21:24):
I've had a book dedicated to mydaughter.
It's a Bible book where whenyou're listening to it, it's
called here's where my notes.
It's a sermon notes journalbook where, like saying, if
you're at where, when you'relistening to it, it's called His
Words, my Notes.
It's a sermon notes journalbook where, like saying, if
you're at church or you're athome and you're listening to a
sermon of a pastor, you writedown the notes the notes.
You know the chapter that he'sreading from and you write down
(21:46):
his notes and then his words andthen you write down your notes
of what you took from it or canrelate from the sermon, and it'd
be just your notes.
So it's called his words, mynotes.
So I did that in honor of herand um last year for her, and
it's dedicated to her so canpeople find that or?
(22:07):
yes, they can find it.
It's on amazon.
Yeah, it's um, you can buy itfrom off of Amazon.
Ok, yeah, so I also haveanother book that's coming out
in January.
Shout it out.
It's a vision board book andthat's the name of it and it's
like you know when you do aposter of your vision of your
future, what you're planning.
It has pages where you can putyour pictures and things in.
(22:30):
It has pages where you can putyour pictures and things in.
It also has like a section ofprayers and notes, diet and
exercise, you know daily taskstuff that you're planning on,
working on.
So that book is coming out inJanuary.
But, I've been doing this typeof stuff just to have a sense of
peace and it helps me with myhealing and I love to write, so
(22:50):
eventually I will end up writinga book about my story.
Wow on my life, but I'm justtaking like baby steps to get
there that would be amazing it'ssomething um how from our pain
in life that purpose comes fromit.
Chuck (23:06):
You know what I mean.
Like you, you find somethingthat not only helps you, but
helps somebody else.
Vikisha Smith (23:12):
Yes.
Chuck (23:13):
You know, true?
Wow, I hate for it to be likethat, but that's how it goes
sometimes.
That's how it is.
Vikisha Smith (23:21):
Maybe my purpose, I don't, you know, don't know.
But like I said, I feel likeI'm helping people sometimes
when I do talk about it.
Chuck (23:31):
Yeah, like now you're going, I do talk about it.
Yeah, like now you're going tohelp somebody.
Yeah, yeah, what would you sayto a parent who's going through
the same situation you'veexperienced with your child?
What would you say to them?
Because you're going to help alot of people, but what?
Vikisha Smith (23:53):
would you say to them if you was approached by
somebody who heard your storyand they just want to talk to
you one-on-one?
I just have to let them knowthat it gets better.
I mean, it gets better, it getseasier.
But you do have to take it oneday at a time and it's not going
to happen overnight.
You know, the grieving processcan be kind of tricky, because
one day you're feeling happy,the next day you're angry.
So you know you just havepeople around you that support
you and, like I said, you knowtalk to a therapist as well.
(24:20):
But my biggest thing is withinour community, especially the
black community't do anythingabout it.
They're eventually going to dosomething that they shouldn't do
(24:40):
.
Put it that way because youknow it steps to that They'll
trigger like isolation.
Yeah, you want them to get some.
You will want to get some kindof help and not just let them go
without any medication or sometype of treatment.
Because if they do you knowI've worked in mental health
those behaviors can cause deathor you can seriously hurt
(25:00):
someone and being in denial, youknow you're hurting that person
as well, the community, thesociety, because you don't want
to talk about mental illness,you don't want it to be in your
family.
People try to hide certainthings, those things you don't
want to hide.
They have medication, they havetreatment to help people with
those type of mental illnesses,and going without the treatment
(25:21):
could cause, like I said, dangerto someone else or even that
person, because not everybodyknows how a person is when
they're mentally ill.
Chuck (25:29):
So glad you said that you work in the mental health field
.
So for people who don't knowthey have children they see
their kids every day, you knowor husband or wife, spouse,
whatever.
What are some signs to be awareof that a person is going
through some type of depressionor stress.
You know what I'm saying.
Vikisha Smith (25:50):
You know, with depression and stress, you know,
a lot of people tend to isolatethemselves, stay away from
people.
Their eating habits change, theweight gain or loss change, you
know, harming themselves oranimals or someone else.
Little, small things.
Chuck (26:10):
Right.
Vikisha Smith (26:10):
You just pay attention to things.
That that's not normal and wewould say that's not normal it's
abnormal yeah it's veryabnormal.
You know any little things,behavior changes in school or at
work, um constantly talkingabout dying or hurting someone
or their behaviors.
They're hurting people, butit's starting to get it to the
extreme where they eventuallykill someone.
(26:32):
So you have to pay attention tothe clues, especially, you know
, learn your kids or your familymembers, their behaviors,
because it you they do havesigns you can't see and, like I
said, some of you be in denialgot you that they don't want to
believe that their child or thattheir loved one has this.
Chuck (26:49):
But or even personally.
You know personally, yeah, oreven personally.
Vikisha Smith (26:54):
You know Personally, yeah, they feel like
it's a shame to be a certaintype of way, but you can't help
how God created us, and theyhave medicines for those type of
things.
Chuck (27:04):
Wow.
Famous quote I've heard is it'sokay not to be okay.
Sometimes, you know.
Vikisha Smith (27:11):
It is yeah, because we're not going to wake
up every day okay, nope, we'renot going gonna wake up every
day.
Chuck (27:20):
No, okay, no, we're not gonna wake up every day happy,
it'd be nice, but that's not areality.
Vikisha Smith (27:22):
Nope, it's not a reality, and I feel like if you
gotta cry, cry, help.
Sometimes it makes it evenbetter when you do release those
tears instead of holding themin.
Chuck (27:30):
So and sometimes being mad is not a bad thing, but it's
how you control that emotionyes, yes, because, lord jesus,
it took some time and patiencewith that that's deep.
Um, here's a question for you.
If you could send a message toyour daughter, what would you
(27:53):
say to her?
Vikisha Smith (27:56):
First I would let her know that I love her.
Of course I know she knows thatI always said I'll tell her.
I'm sorry, I wish I was there.
And I want to let her know thatI'll keep living for her
because, like I said, she was afree spirit, so I was more so
into my kids than myself.
So I find myself doing moreadventurous things now that I
(28:17):
have free time so, and I knowshe be proud of me.
But yeah I let her know that Ilove her and I'm sorry I
couldn't be there.
Um yeah, wow.
Chuck (28:28):
So what do you do?
Go skydiving, what do you do?
Jump off?
Vikisha Smith (28:30):
I want to do that , I want to do that, but I can't
find anybody to do it.
They were like you know, you doit.
I'm like oh, gotta try it.
But I did jump off cliffs andstuff when I went to Jamaica
Like I've been doing crazy stuff, like stuff you wouldn't
normally do You're reserved?
I was so reserved.
I'm not reserved now, I'm justtrying it all.
I'm like hey, I'm not promisedtomorrow, so you can say I was
(28:53):
happy, I was living my life.
Like I said, I traveled the US.
I traveled by myself.
Chuck (28:57):
Okay.
Vikisha Smith (28:57):
It was just me and God.
They was like you ain't noweapon, Nope, don't need one.
I got the word I'm good and Igot there and back home safe, no
problem, just fun, Just youdecided to have fun.
You decided to have fun.
Chuck (29:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a big thing too, laughing.
Vikisha Smith (29:15):
Yeah.
Chuck (29:15):
And I try to be around people.
Vikisha Smith (29:17):
That's positive, that's laughing, that has good
spirit.
You know they want to dosomething in life, Right?
So that's what I've been doing.
Chuck (29:25):
That's amazing.
That is amazing.
Shout out to you, shout out toyou, thank you, yeah.
Last question what gives?
Vikisha Smith (29:40):
you hope, what gives you strength to keep
moving forward every day thatyou put your feet on the floor,
that one day, when I get calledhome, that I'll see her again,
and my father and my son, youknow so, if I live right on this
earth, I'll get there and I'llsee them again.
Chuck (29:55):
So I love that.
Vikisha Smith (29:56):
That gives me strength, like stay on a
positive track.
Chuck (29:59):
You'll see him again.
Vikisha Smith (30:00):
I'll see him again, man, but until then,
enjoy life.
Enjoy life.
Chuck (30:05):
Now, yeah, I like that.
What advice did you want toleave with the listening
audience or encouragement youwant to leave before we close
out?
Vikisha Smith (30:23):
Um, I just want people to know that they're not
alone.
Um, find someone that you cantalk to, especially a therapist.
I mean, there's nothing wrongwith talking to someone a
therapist about your problems.
Um, as far as the mental healthpart, don't't be ashamed, it's
all over.
People have mental illnesses.
Just get them help, get themtreated.
It possibly could savesomeone's life and in the
(30:46):
meantime, if you're goingthrough these things, try to
enjoy life and have positivepeople around you.
Chuck (30:50):
That's a big one.
Support positive people yeah, Iappreciate you.
Thank you for being one.
Support positive people yeah, Iappreciate you.
Thank you for being on.
Vikisha Smith (30:57):
Thank you for having me.
Chuck (30:58):
I enjoyed the conversation.
Your words of wisdom, I reallyappreciate that.
Vikisha Smith (31:02):
Thank you.
Chuck (31:03):
Yep.
So thanks again for being apart of let's Just Talk About it
podcast.
Wow, what an amazingconversation.
Shout out to you, vakeesha, forhaving this dialogue with me,
and thank you for having thecourage to share your journey of
healing to help others realizethat they are not alone.
We really appreciate you, and Ialso want to thank everyone for
(31:25):
always tuning in to let's JustTalk About it podcast and if you
have any media needs, such asvideography and photography, you
can reach out to me and mybusiness partner Low Mills at
M&B Media on Facebook.
Hey, so, as always, until nexttime, don't hold it in, but
let's just talk about it.
Talk to you soon.
1.
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