September 7, 2023 • 20 mins
Have you ever wondered how someone could transform his life from addiction and homelessness to creating a safe haven for others battling similar issues? Our guest, Tommy Hawthorne, founder of the San Diego Detox Center, takes us through his incredible life journey. He offers a raw account of his escapades on the streets of New York and San Diego, his addiction struggles, and his encounters with the law. Amidst this chaos, Tommy met his soulmate, giving him a glimmer of hope and the courage to change his life dramatically.
Not only did Tommy get clean, but he also started San Diego Detox, Boardwalk Recovery, Pacific Beach Health, and Soledad House, all treatment centers aiding those battling addiction, mental health issues, and homelessness. He firmly believes in the philosophy of turning no one away, taking a personal interest in each call that comes in. Tommy's story exemplifies that our struggles are not just for us but might be an inspiration for someone else. Listen in to this transformative journey, from a life of addiction to being a beacon of hope.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chuck (00:10):
Welcome back to a brand new episode of let's Just Talk
About it podcast.
I'm your host, chuck, and ifyou're here for the first time,
this platform was created togive genuine people just like
you an opportunity to share aportion of your life's journey.
So, with that being said, todayI'm excited to have special
guest Tommy Hawthorne, thefounder of the San Diego Detox
(00:30):
Center in California, where heshares how we went from being
addicted to drugs and homelessto now being the founder of
treatment centers for mentalhealth and drug addiction.
So you don't want to miss thisinspiring conversation.
As a matter of fact, do me afavor go and grab your husband,
your wife, your children, oreven call a friend and listen
into my conversation with Tommyon let's Just Talk About it
(00:52):
podcast.
Hey, let's jump right in.
Welcome back to a brand newepisode of let's Just Talk About
it podcast.
Today, I have Tommy Hawthorneon with me today.
Tommy, thank you for being apart of let's Just Talk About it
podcast.
I appreciate you, man.
I appreciate you having me.
(01:13):
Yes, sir, man, tommy, I love tohave those genuine
conversations with genuinepeople just like yourself, to
share a portion of your lifejourney, where you come from and
what are you up to now.
So, with that being said, man,let's jump right in.
So, first of all, where are youfrom?
Tommy (01:30):
Originally I'm from New York.
Left New York when I was 12 andI've been in San Diego almost
40 years.
So you left San Diego,California paradise.
You said paradise, Paradise,yeah.
Chuck (01:42):
Wow.
So you grew pretty much up inNew York until you was 12 and
then you left and moved to SanDiego.
So you've been there for 40years.
So how was it for you in NewYork, from one or five years old
to 12?
How was that?
Tommy (01:56):
Pretty rough.
I come from a pretty tumultuousupbringing.
Parents divorced extremely.
Poor Pop did the best you couldwith me, but we'll just leave
it at that.
And then had a really troubledyouth that turned into being
asked to leave.
I was sent away.
(02:17):
Got you, got sent away at 12.
Chuck (02:20):
At 12,.
You got sent the way to SanDiego, or you got sent the way
to like an alternative school,or something like that.
Tommy (02:26):
Yeah, my well, my mother picked me up, so that was a
whole nother chunk of years ofstruggle, wow.
So ended up in San Diego andbouncing in and out of treatment
centers, things like that, andso I was 30 the last time I was
(02:47):
incarcerated.
That really enters into a wholeanother chunk of my life.
Chuck (02:51):
Got you, so it's like in and out of trouble.
Tommy (02:55):
There was no out, it was just staying in.
Got you, got you.
Got you, it was just staying introuble.
Wow, Basically, yeah.
So you know, I got to San Diegoand really kind of struggled in
the house, you know, beingincarcerated and being put into
you know psych hospital and youknow this, that and the other
(03:16):
thing.
I ended up just on the streets,you know, and so I think I hit
the streets at about 15 anddidn't really make it back
indoors for a while, so about 18or so.
Chuck (03:27):
Yeah, so when you talk about psych hospital, man, what
was that all about?
Like you put yourself there orsomebody admitted you did.
Tommy (03:33):
Yeah, my mother admitted me into a hospital.
She assumed that there wassomething wrong with me based on
my behavior Got you.
There had to be something wrong, something wrong.
And really, you know, what waswrong with me was just being
just really tore.
Apart from the divorce man, youknow, I think the divorce
really really shakes kids to thecore.
(03:56):
That's deep, that's what Ibelieve and I mean, you know,
not everybody can pinpoint theirtrauma.
Chuck (04:01):
Right.
Tommy (04:02):
I mean, I think, where things took a turn.
I can absolutely, without ashadow of a doubt, pinpoint
exactly where my whole soul, mywhole spirit took a turn, took a
turn.
Wow, yeah, took a turn.
Didn't really recalibrate untilI made it into recovery at 30
years old.
Wow.
Chuck (04:21):
People never know, man, how divorce messes with a kid's
mind growing up.
You know that's deep.
Tommy (04:27):
I mean, I see it all the time in my line of work and you
know your own experience is allthe evidence you really need.
You can see it in other people,hear about it in other people's
stories and you may or may notbelieve them, but when it
happens to yourself, that's allthe evidence you need.
Chuck (04:43):
Yeah, so you're in San Diego and you're growing up.
You're on the streets, livinghomeless.
Talk about that, man.
Tommy (04:50):
You know.
I mean I was hustling on thestreets and when you say you
were hustling, like what youwere doing, commercial
burglaries and things like thatGot you.
That was always my shtick.
I wasn't really a fan ofrobbing people.
That really just wasn't my deal.
I was much more into commercialburglaries and I really kind of
(05:10):
stuck with that Into my adultyears.
But yeah, being on the streetsjust selling dope, doing
commercial burglaries, and Imight hook up with a girl and
sleep indoors here and there,but all in all I was.
I was sleeping on a On thesidewalk, you know, and little
crevices of shelter.
All that I could yeah andsomewhere around 17 or 18, I met
(05:35):
my soulmate.
Got you, wow, she's my wife now.
We've been together 32 yearsand I met her and really we
tried to put it together.
Yeah, the best we could.
We continue to struggletogether For, you know, several
years until she got pregnant.
Chuck (05:52):
Wow.
Tommy (05:52):
She had our baby, she had our first child and shortly
after that I ended upincarcerated again and More
struggle for the next.
I mean, like I said, when you,when you said in and out of
trouble, you know.
Chuck (06:05):
I got up.
I've pretty much just stayed in.
Tommy (06:09):
I never got why made it out Including after we had our
first child.
You know we continued tostruggle, and for several years
Wow that's deep man, yeah, I gotsober, I think when she was
about nine, if I remembercorrectly Got you, man.
Chuck (06:26):
I was, um, you know, doing my time on the streets.
Man, I use heroin, so I knowit's like you chasing something
and it's like you have to hustleevery day To get that fix or
whatever.
You know what I'm saying.
So was that you doing that time?
Tommy (06:40):
Yeah, yeah, every minute.
I wouldn't say every day, I'dsay every minute, yes sir, the
heroin.
Chuck (06:45):
You know what I mean.
Tommy (06:46):
Yeah, with the heroin I mean, you get sick so fast.
Chuck (06:49):
Yes, sir.
Tommy (06:50):
And so you get well, and then you got to get right back
to it and don't let nobody say,you know, dummy, you really in
trouble.
Chuck (06:57):
So I get it.
It's 24 seven.
Tommy (06:59):
So look at 24 seven.
I'd say that that reallyinstilled the grind.
Chuck (07:04):
In me Okay, okay.
Tommy (07:07):
I say a lot of the grind I have that's made me so
successful Comes from myexperience on the street Like
managing people, yeah, like lookwhen I did do well Out there
right and I was running 100 150pounds a week.
I had to manage people, I hadto manage situations.
(07:27):
I had to manage crisis.
I had to manage pressure.
Everybody in the room's got agun.
There's a lot of money on thetable.
Chuck (07:35):
Etc, etc, etc.
So your eyes are moving around,yeah.
Tommy (07:37):
You know what I mean.
So when I'm hustling, whetherI'm hustling and I'm at the
bottom of the barrel and I gotto figure it out Mm-hmm, or I'm
on top of it and I'm movingweight and I'm I'm at the top of
it, there's pressures, there'shustle, there's grinds I bring
that into recovery.
Got you and it's on wow.
You know what I mean.
Chuck (07:57):
Yeah.
Tommy (07:57):
I credit my previous lifestyle For the hustle in the
grind.
Chuck (08:01):
I have in my current lifestyle.
That's deep.
Never heard that said beforelike that.
Tommy (08:06):
Yeah, I got you.
Well, look, I was active outthere and I'm active here, I'm
active in recovery.
Chuck (08:12):
So now you away from that .
So let's talk about what you upto now.
You are entrepreneur of what Iown three substance abuse with
two.
Tommy (08:22):
Technically, I own two substance abuse treatment
centers One mental health center, wow and I manage Another
substance abuse center.
So let me ask you all I'mresponsible for four different
treatment centers.
Chuck (08:37):
So let me say this you come from New York At 12, you
leave to go to San Diego.
You end up in the site ward,you're homeless, you're hustling
, so now you own different.
Wow, amazing.
Tommy (08:53):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Now look, I didn't end upowning and operating and
managing four treatment centersright out of the gate.
Got you talk about it, when Igot sober I had to hustle even.
Look it, when I got sober Ilied to get into my very first
sober living.
Wow, I came out of jail Ididn't have anything.
I literally had a backpack ofclothing and a stolen Jeep
(09:18):
Cherokee.
That's all I had.
I had nothing else, Nothing.
And so, through a couple ofconnections cause, I didn't know
what I was going to do.
I didn't know much about thiswhole recovery thing, but I knew
that if I got loaded again Iwas going to go to prison.
So I asked a friend.
He led me to another guy,connected me to a sober living.
That guy didn't really want tolet me in because I was pretty
(09:42):
shot out even after a month injail.
And I lied to that dude andtold him I had the money to move
in and he let me in and Istarted hustling right off the
bat just to come up with therent that I told this guy I had.
Chuck (09:56):
Yeah, yeah.
Tommy (09:57):
And I would do that.
I would be in the parking lotof meetings every single day and
I would be shaking people'shands and I'd be running up on
everybody in the meeting and I'dtell them stuff like hey,
what's up, man?
I'm telling me hey, you got ajob.
Hey, you guys hiring.
Chuck (10:13):
Got you.
Tommy (10:14):
Hey, what's up, man?
What do you do you guys hiring?
Did it like that?
I had to hustle like that.
Just to you know, come up withanything.
And the very first job I got inrecovery it was remodeling a
house and I didn't have no tools.
I borrowed all of the tools todo that remodel and I would walk
those tools cause I didn't havea car.
I skipped the part where thecops took the Jeep Cherokee my
(10:37):
first day in sober living but Ihad to carry these tools and
buckets down the street to myvery first job.
Did you know how to remodel?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I pulled itoff, okay.
Chuck (10:51):
Got you.
Tommy (10:52):
I pulled it off.
I made enough money on that jobto pay my rent at sober living
and buy a little $450 car.
You know what kind of car youget for $450?
What'd you get?
A burner, you get.
A pile, a hooptie.
You get a car that would workfor more than $450.
You know, yeah, and so that'show I started.
(11:13):
And you know I spent my firsteight years working as a
carpenter in early recovery andmy first eight years in recovery
I was a carpenter Got you Justtrying to do the best I could,
you know.
Chuck (11:28):
Wow.
Tommy (11:29):
And then I was invited to come and help run a treatment
center, and while I was there Istarted plotting and scheming on
opening my first my own andthat's what I did when I started
my own.
Chuck (11:39):
Open your own treatment center.
Tommy (11:41):
Yeah, that's how I started From the ground up,
Ground up.
Not a nickel in my name.
Chuck (11:47):
That's amazing man.
So talk about the treatmentcenter.
What is that all about?
So I have one detox.
Tommy (11:52):
Residential, that's an inpatient treatment center.
It's called San Diego Detox,full medical team on staff 24-7.
Wow, therapists, counselors,doctors, the whole deal, a whole
team of support staff, etcetera, et cetera.
Um, san Diego detox definitelywant to San Diego's premier
(12:16):
detox centers.
And then I have boardwalkrecovery.
That's down at the beach, alsoin San Diego.
That's an aftercare programwhere we do a php and IOP.
Um, we also have sober livinghomes to support all those guys.
And, uh, that's an 80 bedaftercare program.
Uh, right now I'm opening amental health center.
(12:38):
It's called Pacific beachhealth, gotcha, and that's
really for people with primarymental health issues.
They may or may not havesubstance abuse issues, but they
have serious anxiety, seriousdepression, schizophrenia, you
know things like that.
Yeah, and that'll havesupportive housing for those
folks as well.
That'll also have doctors,therapists, counselors.
(13:00):
And then I'm responsible formanaging a female aftercare
program called Soledad houseGotcha.
Really, my job there is to helpwith the marketing, support the
executive director there, but,yeah, I'm responsible for that
place as well.
So that's the four places thatI'm responsible for.
And Soledad house is SanDiego's premier female aftercare
(13:23):
program.
I think they're about 60, 60,80 beds as well.
And, um, you know, there are nojoke over there.
That is San Diego's finest,right there.
Chuck (13:33):
Got you Yep.
So when people say I need help,I'm going through anxiety, I'm
fresh out of prison, you know Ihave no way to go.
Is it hard to get in there?
Is it a waiting line orsomething like that?
Tommy (13:46):
You know, we take every single call, you know, seriously
.
Chuck (13:49):
Yeah.
Tommy (13:50):
And um, I always have people in my programs that were
scholarshiping.
When somebody calls and ourscholarships are being taken, we
will connect every single callat our resources, no matter what
.
But nobody calls us withouthaving resources by the end of
the phone call.
So, whether you come into myprogram, got you uh, or you're
(14:12):
not a good fit for one reason oranother, by the end of the
phone call you will haveresources.
It doesn't matter what stateyou're in, it doesn't matter
what your financial situation isprivate health insurance, state
insurance we're a resource, nomatter what.
Chuck (14:28):
I got you.
I like what you said, no matterwhat state you're in, so so I'm
in Virginia, right?
So if somebody's listeningright now, they can get in
contact with your facility.
Tommy (14:38):
Absolutely.
You call us at San Diego detox,for example.
Tell us that you're in Virginiaand you have no resources.
We will still help you figureout how to find the resources in
your area.
Chuck (14:52):
Before you get off the phone.
Absolutely yeah.
Do you have a number they cancall?
Tommy (14:57):
Uh, san Diego detox is area code 619-433-4971.
But go to the website.
Just go to this.
Just go to San Diego detoxcomand call any of the phone
numbers that are on the website.
That that'll connect it to us.
Every single one of my peoplethat answers.
The funds are extremelyprofessional, extremely helpful,
(15:20):
and they will not let you offthe phone without some resources
.
Whether those resources arecoming out to California, which
a lot of people do, we werepicking people up from the
airport all the time, you know,several times a week.
So people come out toCalifornia for treatment all the
time.
So, whether that's you or youcan't leave for one reason or
another, we'll help you out withresources.
(15:42):
Got you, got you To San Diegodetoxcom.
That's the easiest way to get ahold of us.
Chuck (15:48):
Amazing man, Amazing Two questions.
What would you say to somebodyright now, If you had a chance
and you saw yourself in them,Tommy, like you, you know, in
the streets of San Diego?
What would you say to them?
And they came to you on thestreet one day?
What would, what encouragementwould you give them?
Tommy (16:06):
That happens to me all the time.
Talk about it.
It happens to me all the time.
One of my top level employees Ifound on the street sitting in
front of a Starbucks with agrocery bag of his clothing
They'd be the best and that manthat man has made his way
through recovery, volunteered,came on as an employee and then
(16:27):
made his way up the food chain.
He is the number two in chargeof one of my companies.
Chuck (16:32):
Wow, never judge a book by its cover.
Tommy (16:34):
Go ahead, yeah Well.
So here's the deal, man.
Yeah, when somebody's ready,you know.
My most important question isare you ready?
Because not.
Are you ready to get off thestreets?
Not.
Are you ready to, you know,have some food in your belly?
Not.
Are you ready to have a cellphone?
Or you know this, that and thematerial?
Are you ready to change yourlife?
(16:56):
Are you ready for something new?
Are you ready to give this upand try something foreign?
Try something new.
It doesn't matter what it is.
You know.
Look, when I got sober, if mysponsor told me, in order for
you to stay sober, we're goingto go door to door and give out
alcoholics anonymous pamphlets,I would be going door to door
right now handing out alcoholicsanonymous pamphlets, and I
(17:20):
wouldn't have time to talk toyou on the phone right now.
I was willing to do whatever ittook, and so the question is
are you ready to do whateverit's going to take?
That's the bottom line, and theguy that I just mentioned.
I told him you know, what wouldyou do with an opportunity?
Now I'm in a situation where Iwas able to send a van to come
(17:40):
and pick him up.
Not everybody's in thatsituation, of course, but there
is resources for any individualin any situation.
It's really all about digginginto those resources and
embracing the opportunity.
Chuck (17:56):
Right.
Tommy (17:57):
The problem is that most people, they don't embrace the
opportunity.
Most people never embrace theopportunity.
They piss it away for onereason or another.
And once they start gettingstuff back, once they start
getting some of the blessings ofrecovery if they get them they
fade out, they fade out.
(18:18):
I have hung on to my blessings,I have hung on to my
opportunity, every opportunitywith a death grip.
Chuck (18:27):
Because you don't want to go back to where you were with
a death grip.
Tommy (18:30):
I never want to go back, and so, at 19 years sober, I sit
here today with all the amazingblessings life has to offer,
and I am still just as willingto participate in my recovery
today as I was when I had 30days sober and I didn't know how
I was going to feed myself.
Chuck (18:50):
Man shout out to you man.
Last question, tommy.
If you had a chance to go backand talk to the 12 year old
Tommy, what would you say to himright now?
Tommy (19:02):
You're going to be all right, man, hang in there.
Chuck (19:04):
Sit it right like that.
Tommy (19:06):
Sit it one more time You're going to be all right,
young man.
Chuck (19:10):
Yes, sir.
Tommy (19:10):
You're going to be all right.
It doesn't mean that you'regoing to enjoy this path, this
journey, but you're going to beall right.
Wow, wow.
Chuck (19:19):
Thank you so much, man, for being a part of let's Just
Talk About it podcast man, Ireally enjoyed this conversation
.
I wish it could be longer, butI know you have a schedule you
gotta keep, man.
But I really appreciate you.
Tommy (19:30):
I appreciate you having me.
Chuck (19:32):
Yes, sir man, thank you so much and talk to you soon.
Tommy, it was a pleasure.
Tommy (19:36):
Yes, sir, take it easy, bye, bye.
Chuck (19:39):
Wow, what an amazing conversation.
Shout out to my friend, tommy,for having this dialogue with me
.
You know, one of the thingsthat really stuck out to me was
when he said what he wentthrough prepared him for where
he is today, and that is toreach back and grab somebody
who's going through the samebattle he went through.
So after listening to thisconversation, we can realize now
that what we go through todaymay not be meant for us, but it
(20:01):
may be meant for someone who'scoming behind us to help them
make it through their battlelike we did.
So shout out to you, tommy, asalways.
Thank you so much for tuning into let's Just Talk About it
podcast and please check out mywebsite.
Just google let's Just TalkAbout it podcast dot com and
then hit that subscribe buttonto receive all the new episodes
every Friday.
(20:21):
You can also find me onFacebook.
Just type in Chuck L J T A I,which means let's Just Talk
About it.
So, as always, until next time,don't hold it in, but let's
Just Talk About it.
Talk to you soon.
Welcome back to a brand new episode of let's Just Talk
About it podcast.
I'm your host, chuck, and ifyou're here for the first time,
this platform was created togive genuine people just like
you an opportunity to share aportion of your life's journey.
So, with that being said, todayI'm excited to have special
guest Tommy Hawthorne, thefounder of the San Diego Detox
(00:30):
Center in California, where heshares how we went from being
addicted to drugs and homelessto now being the founder of
treatment centers for mentalhealth and drug addiction.
So you don't want to miss thisinspiring conversation.
As a matter of fact, do me afavor go and grab your husband,
your wife, your children, oreven call a friend and listen
into my conversation with Tommyon let's Just Talk About it
(00:52):
podcast.
Hey, let's jump right in.
Welcome back to a brand newepisode of let's Just Talk About
it podcast.
Today, I have Tommy Hawthorneon with me today.
Tommy, thank you for being apart of let's Just Talk About it
podcast.
I appreciate you, man.
I appreciate you having me.
(01:13):
Yes, sir, man, tommy, I love tohave those genuine
conversations with genuinepeople just like yourself, to
share a portion of your lifejourney, where you come from and
what are you up to now.
So, with that being said, man,let's jump right in.
So, first of all, where are youfrom?
Tommy (01:30):
Originally I'm from New York.
Left New York when I was 12 andI've been in San Diego almost
40 years.
So you left San Diego,California paradise.
You said paradise, Paradise,yeah.
Chuck (01:42):
Wow.
So you grew pretty much up inNew York until you was 12 and
then you left and moved to SanDiego.
So you've been there for 40years.
So how was it for you in NewYork, from one or five years old
to 12?
How was that?
Tommy (01:56):
Pretty rough.
I come from a pretty tumultuousupbringing.
Parents divorced extremely.
Poor Pop did the best you couldwith me, but we'll just leave
it at that.
And then had a really troubledyouth that turned into being
asked to leave.
I was sent away.
(02:17):
Got you, got sent away at 12.
Chuck (02:20):
At 12,.
You got sent the way to SanDiego, or you got sent the way
to like an alternative school,or something like that.
Tommy (02:26):
Yeah, my well, my mother picked me up, so that was a
whole nother chunk of years ofstruggle, wow.
So ended up in San Diego andbouncing in and out of treatment
centers, things like that, andso I was 30 the last time I was
(02:47):
incarcerated.
That really enters into a wholeanother chunk of my life.
Chuck (02:51):
Got you, so it's like in and out of trouble.
Tommy (02:55):
There was no out, it was just staying in.
Got you, got you.
Got you, it was just staying introuble.
Wow, Basically, yeah.
So you know, I got to San Diegoand really kind of struggled in
the house, you know, beingincarcerated and being put into
you know psych hospital and youknow this, that and the other
(03:16):
thing.
I ended up just on the streets,you know, and so I think I hit
the streets at about 15 anddidn't really make it back
indoors for a while, so about 18or so.
Chuck (03:27):
Yeah, so when you talk about psych hospital, man, what
was that all about?
Like you put yourself there orsomebody admitted you did.
Tommy (03:33):
Yeah, my mother admitted me into a hospital.
She assumed that there wassomething wrong with me based on
my behavior Got you.
There had to be something wrong, something wrong.
And really, you know, what waswrong with me was just being
just really tore.
Apart from the divorce man, youknow, I think the divorce
really really shakes kids to thecore.
(03:56):
That's deep, that's what Ibelieve and I mean, you know,
not everybody can pinpoint theirtrauma.
Chuck (04:01):
Right.
Tommy (04:02):
I mean, I think, where things took a turn.
I can absolutely, without ashadow of a doubt, pinpoint
exactly where my whole soul, mywhole spirit took a turn, took a
turn.
Wow, yeah, took a turn.
Didn't really recalibrate untilI made it into recovery at 30
years old.
Wow.
Chuck (04:21):
People never know, man, how divorce messes with a kid's
mind growing up.
You know that's deep.
Tommy (04:27):
I mean, I see it all the time in my line of work and you
know your own experience is allthe evidence you really need.
You can see it in other people,hear about it in other people's
stories and you may or may notbelieve them, but when it
happens to yourself, that's allthe evidence you need.
Chuck (04:43):
Yeah, so you're in San Diego and you're growing up.
You're on the streets, livinghomeless.
Talk about that, man.
Tommy (04:50):
You know.
I mean I was hustling on thestreets and when you say you
were hustling, like what youwere doing, commercial
burglaries and things like thatGot you.
That was always my shtick.
I wasn't really a fan ofrobbing people.
That really just wasn't my deal.
I was much more into commercialburglaries and I really kind of
(05:10):
stuck with that Into my adultyears.
But yeah, being on the streetsjust selling dope, doing
commercial burglaries, and Imight hook up with a girl and
sleep indoors here and there,but all in all I was.
I was sleeping on a On thesidewalk, you know, and little
crevices of shelter.
All that I could yeah andsomewhere around 17 or 18, I met
(05:35):
my soulmate.
Got you, wow, she's my wife now.
We've been together 32 yearsand I met her and really we
tried to put it together.
Yeah, the best we could.
We continue to struggletogether For, you know, several
years until she got pregnant.
Chuck (05:52):
Wow.
Tommy (05:52):
She had our baby, she had our first child and shortly
after that I ended upincarcerated again and More
struggle for the next.
I mean, like I said, when you,when you said in and out of
trouble, you know.
Chuck (06:05):
I got up.
I've pretty much just stayed in.
Tommy (06:09):
I never got why made it out Including after we had our
first child.
You know we continued tostruggle, and for several years
Wow that's deep man, yeah, I gotsober, I think when she was
about nine, if I remembercorrectly Got you, man.
Chuck (06:26):
I was, um, you know, doing my time on the streets.
Man, I use heroin, so I knowit's like you chasing something
and it's like you have to hustleevery day To get that fix or
whatever.
You know what I'm saying.
So was that you doing that time?
Tommy (06:40):
Yeah, yeah, every minute.
I wouldn't say every day, I'dsay every minute, yes sir, the
heroin.
Chuck (06:45):
You know what I mean.
Tommy (06:46):
Yeah, with the heroin I mean, you get sick so fast.
Chuck (06:49):
Yes, sir.
Tommy (06:50):
And so you get well, and then you got to get right back
to it and don't let nobody say,you know, dummy, you really in
trouble.
Chuck (06:57):
So I get it.
It's 24 seven.
Tommy (06:59):
So look at 24 seven.
I'd say that that reallyinstilled the grind.
Chuck (07:04):
In me Okay, okay.
Tommy (07:07):
I say a lot of the grind I have that's made me so
successful Comes from myexperience on the street Like
managing people, yeah, like lookwhen I did do well Out there
right and I was running 100 150pounds a week.
I had to manage people, I hadto manage situations.
(07:27):
I had to manage crisis.
I had to manage pressure.
Everybody in the room's got agun.
There's a lot of money on thetable.
Chuck (07:35):
Etc, etc, etc.
So your eyes are moving around,yeah.
Tommy (07:37):
You know what I mean.
So when I'm hustling, whetherI'm hustling and I'm at the
bottom of the barrel and I gotto figure it out Mm-hmm, or I'm
on top of it and I'm movingweight and I'm I'm at the top of
it, there's pressures, there'shustle, there's grinds I bring
that into recovery.
Got you and it's on wow.
You know what I mean.
Chuck (07:57):
Yeah.
Tommy (07:57):
I credit my previous lifestyle For the hustle in the
grind.
Chuck (08:01):
I have in my current lifestyle.
That's deep.
Never heard that said beforelike that.
Tommy (08:06):
Yeah, I got you.
Well, look, I was active outthere and I'm active here, I'm
active in recovery.
Chuck (08:12):
So now you away from that .
So let's talk about what you upto now.
You are entrepreneur of what Iown three substance abuse with
two.
Tommy (08:22):
Technically, I own two substance abuse treatment
centers One mental health center, wow and I manage Another
substance abuse center.
So let me ask you all I'mresponsible for four different
treatment centers.
Chuck (08:37):
So let me say this you come from New York At 12, you
leave to go to San Diego.
You end up in the site ward,you're homeless, you're hustling
, so now you own different.
Wow, amazing.
Tommy (08:53):
Yeah, it's crazy.
Now look, I didn't end upowning and operating and
managing four treatment centersright out of the gate.
Got you talk about it, when Igot sober I had to hustle even.
Look it, when I got sober Ilied to get into my very first
sober living.
Wow, I came out of jail Ididn't have anything.
I literally had a backpack ofclothing and a stolen Jeep
(09:18):
Cherokee.
That's all I had.
I had nothing else, Nothing.
And so, through a couple ofconnections cause, I didn't know
what I was going to do.
I didn't know much about thiswhole recovery thing, but I knew
that if I got loaded again Iwas going to go to prison.
So I asked a friend.
He led me to another guy,connected me to a sober living.
That guy didn't really want tolet me in because I was pretty
(09:42):
shot out even after a month injail.
And I lied to that dude andtold him I had the money to move
in and he let me in and Istarted hustling right off the
bat just to come up with therent that I told this guy I had.
Chuck (09:56):
Yeah, yeah.
Tommy (09:57):
And I would do that.
I would be in the parking lotof meetings every single day and
I would be shaking people'shands and I'd be running up on
everybody in the meeting and I'dtell them stuff like hey,
what's up, man?
I'm telling me hey, you got ajob.
Hey, you guys hiring.
Chuck (10:13):
Got you.
Tommy (10:14):
Hey, what's up, man?
What do you do you guys hiring?
Did it like that?
I had to hustle like that.
Just to you know, come up withanything.
And the very first job I got inrecovery it was remodeling a
house and I didn't have no tools.
I borrowed all of the tools todo that remodel and I would walk
those tools cause I didn't havea car.
I skipped the part where thecops took the Jeep Cherokee my
(10:37):
first day in sober living but Ihad to carry these tools and
buckets down the street to myvery first job.
Did you know how to remodel?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I pulled itoff, okay.
Chuck (10:51):
Got you.
Tommy (10:52):
I pulled it off.
I made enough money on that jobto pay my rent at sober living
and buy a little $450 car.
You know what kind of car youget for $450?
What'd you get?
A burner, you get.
A pile, a hooptie.
You get a car that would workfor more than $450.
You know, yeah, and so that'show I started.
(11:13):
And you know I spent my firsteight years working as a
carpenter in early recovery andmy first eight years in recovery
I was a carpenter Got you Justtrying to do the best I could,
you know.
Chuck (11:28):
Wow.
Tommy (11:29):
And then I was invited to come and help run a treatment
center, and while I was there Istarted plotting and scheming on
opening my first my own andthat's what I did when I started
my own.
Chuck (11:39):
Open your own treatment center.
Tommy (11:41):
Yeah, that's how I started From the ground up,
Ground up.
Not a nickel in my name.
Chuck (11:47):
That's amazing man.
So talk about the treatmentcenter.
What is that all about?
So I have one detox.
Tommy (11:52):
Residential, that's an inpatient treatment center.
It's called San Diego Detox,full medical team on staff 24-7.
Wow, therapists, counselors,doctors, the whole deal, a whole
team of support staff, etcetera, et cetera.
Um, san Diego detox definitelywant to San Diego's premier
(12:16):
detox centers.
And then I have boardwalkrecovery.
That's down at the beach, alsoin San Diego.
That's an aftercare programwhere we do a php and IOP.
Um, we also have sober livinghomes to support all those guys.
And, uh, that's an 80 bedaftercare program.
Uh, right now I'm opening amental health center.
(12:38):
It's called Pacific beachhealth, gotcha, and that's
really for people with primarymental health issues.
They may or may not havesubstance abuse issues, but they
have serious anxiety, seriousdepression, schizophrenia, you
know things like that.
Yeah, and that'll havesupportive housing for those
folks as well.
That'll also have doctors,therapists, counselors.
(13:00):
And then I'm responsible formanaging a female aftercare
program called Soledad houseGotcha.
Really, my job there is to helpwith the marketing, support the
executive director there, but,yeah, I'm responsible for that
place as well.
So that's the four places thatI'm responsible for.
And Soledad house is SanDiego's premier female aftercare
(13:23):
program.
I think they're about 60, 60,80 beds as well.
And, um, you know, there are nojoke over there.
That is San Diego's finest,right there.
Chuck (13:33):
Got you Yep.
So when people say I need help,I'm going through anxiety, I'm
fresh out of prison, you know Ihave no way to go.
Is it hard to get in there?
Is it a waiting line orsomething like that?
Tommy (13:46):
You know, we take every single call, you know, seriously
.
Chuck (13:49):
Yeah.
Tommy (13:50):
And um, I always have people in my programs that were
scholarshiping.
When somebody calls and ourscholarships are being taken, we
will connect every single callat our resources, no matter what
.
But nobody calls us withouthaving resources by the end of
the phone call.
So, whether you come into myprogram, got you uh, or you're
(14:12):
not a good fit for one reason oranother, by the end of the
phone call you will haveresources.
It doesn't matter what stateyou're in, it doesn't matter
what your financial situation isprivate health insurance, state
insurance we're a resource, nomatter what.
Chuck (14:28):
I got you.
I like what you said, no matterwhat state you're in, so so I'm
in Virginia, right?
So if somebody's listeningright now, they can get in
contact with your facility.
Tommy (14:38):
Absolutely.
You call us at San Diego detox,for example.
Tell us that you're in Virginiaand you have no resources.
We will still help you figureout how to find the resources in
your area.
Chuck (14:52):
Before you get off the phone.
Absolutely yeah.
Do you have a number they cancall?
Tommy (14:57):
Uh, san Diego detox is area code 619-433-4971.
But go to the website.
Just go to this.
Just go to San Diego detoxcomand call any of the phone
numbers that are on the website.
That that'll connect it to us.
Every single one of my peoplethat answers.
The funds are extremelyprofessional, extremely helpful,
(15:20):
and they will not let you offthe phone without some resources
.
Whether those resources arecoming out to California, which
a lot of people do, we werepicking people up from the
airport all the time, you know,several times a week.
So people come out toCalifornia for treatment all the
time.
So, whether that's you or youcan't leave for one reason or
another, we'll help you out withresources.
(15:42):
Got you, got you To San Diegodetoxcom.
That's the easiest way to get ahold of us.
Chuck (15:48):
Amazing man, Amazing Two questions.
What would you say to somebodyright now, If you had a chance
and you saw yourself in them,Tommy, like you, you know, in
the streets of San Diego?
What would you say to them?
And they came to you on thestreet one day?
What would, what encouragementwould you give them?
Tommy (16:06):
That happens to me all the time.
Talk about it.
It happens to me all the time.
One of my top level employees Ifound on the street sitting in
front of a Starbucks with agrocery bag of his clothing
They'd be the best and that manthat man has made his way
through recovery, volunteered,came on as an employee and then
(16:27):
made his way up the food chain.
He is the number two in chargeof one of my companies.
Chuck (16:32):
Wow, never judge a book by its cover.
Tommy (16:34):
Go ahead, yeah Well.
So here's the deal, man.
Yeah, when somebody's ready,you know.
My most important question isare you ready?
Because not.
Are you ready to get off thestreets?
Not.
Are you ready to, you know,have some food in your belly?
Not.
Are you ready to have a cellphone?
Or you know this, that and thematerial?
Are you ready to change yourlife?
(16:56):
Are you ready for something new?
Are you ready to give this upand try something foreign?
Try something new.
It doesn't matter what it is.
You know.
Look, when I got sober, if mysponsor told me, in order for
you to stay sober, we're goingto go door to door and give out
alcoholics anonymous pamphlets,I would be going door to door
right now handing out alcoholicsanonymous pamphlets, and I
(17:20):
wouldn't have time to talk toyou on the phone right now.
I was willing to do whatever ittook, and so the question is
are you ready to do whateverit's going to take?
That's the bottom line, and theguy that I just mentioned.
I told him you know, what wouldyou do with an opportunity?
Now I'm in a situation where Iwas able to send a van to come
(17:40):
and pick him up.
Not everybody's in thatsituation, of course, but there
is resources for any individualin any situation.
It's really all about digginginto those resources and
embracing the opportunity.
Chuck (17:56):
Right.
Tommy (17:57):
The problem is that most people, they don't embrace the
opportunity.
Most people never embrace theopportunity.
They piss it away for onereason or another.
And once they start gettingstuff back, once they start
getting some of the blessings ofrecovery if they get them they
fade out, they fade out.
(18:18):
I have hung on to my blessings,I have hung on to my
opportunity, every opportunitywith a death grip.
Chuck (18:27):
Because you don't want to go back to where you were with
a death grip.
Tommy (18:30):
I never want to go back, and so, at 19 years sober, I sit
here today with all the amazingblessings life has to offer,
and I am still just as willingto participate in my recovery
today as I was when I had 30days sober and I didn't know how
I was going to feed myself.
Chuck (18:50):
Man shout out to you man.
Last question, tommy.
If you had a chance to go backand talk to the 12 year old
Tommy, what would you say to himright now?
Tommy (19:02):
You're going to be all right, man, hang in there.
Chuck (19:04):
Sit it right like that.
Tommy (19:06):
Sit it one more time You're going to be all right,
young man.
Chuck (19:10):
Yes, sir.
Tommy (19:10):
You're going to be all right.
It doesn't mean that you'regoing to enjoy this path, this
journey, but you're going to beall right.
Wow, wow.
Chuck (19:19):
Thank you so much, man, for being a part of let's Just
Talk About it podcast man, Ireally enjoyed this conversation
.
I wish it could be longer, butI know you have a schedule you
gotta keep, man.
But I really appreciate you.
Tommy (19:30):
I appreciate you having me.
Chuck (19:32):
Yes, sir man, thank you so much and talk to you soon.
Tommy, it was a pleasure.
Tommy (19:36):
Yes, sir, take it easy, bye, bye.
Chuck (19:39):
Wow, what an amazing conversation.
Shout out to my friend, tommy,for having this dialogue with me
.
You know, one of the thingsthat really stuck out to me was
when he said what he wentthrough prepared him for where
he is today, and that is toreach back and grab somebody
who's going through the samebattle he went through.
So after listening to thisconversation, we can realize now
that what we go through todaymay not be meant for us, but it
(20:01):
may be meant for someone who'scoming behind us to help them
make it through their battlelike we did.
So shout out to you, tommy, asalways.
Thank you so much for tuning into let's Just Talk About it
podcast and please check out mywebsite.
Just google let's Just TalkAbout it podcast dot com and
then hit that subscribe buttonto receive all the new episodes
every Friday.
(20:21):
You can also find me onFacebook.
Just type in Chuck L J T A I,which means let's Just Talk
About it.
So, as always, until next time,don't hold it in, but let's
Just Talk About it.
Talk to you soon.
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