March 20, 2025 • 37 mins
Hosts TJ Lowery and Shatema Gresham break it down: "Black is a culture" connecting people across backgrounds, while "African American" refers to descendants of slaves in America.
Guest Iynna Baker, owner of New Age Vision skincare, shares insights on dating as a Black professional in Arizona. "Go where you are cherished and celebrated," she advises—solid life advice beyond dating. Things get funny when they uncover the deeper meaning behind waist beads (they’re more than just cute accessories).
They also tackle hot topics—a tragic coffee shop incident, Starbucks' policy change, workplace prep for the presidential transition, and a possible TikTok ban—offering sharp insights into how these issues affect Black communities and workplaces.
Funny, thoughtful, and real—this episode dives into Black identity, dating, and today’s big issues.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to let's Talk About it, the podcast where we
shine a light on the changeagents and everyday heroes who
shape our communities.
Here we dive deep into thelived experiences of our guests,
exploring the milestone momentsthat have either propelled them
forward or changed their paths.
On moments that have eitherpropelled them forward or
changed their paths, we anchorevery conversation in two
(00:26):
foundational pillars of theBlack community books and music.
Through this unique lens, wecapture, entertain and inform,
weaving a rich tapestry ofstories and insights that
resonate, inspire and sparkmeaningful dialogue.
Join our host, tj Lowry andShatima Grisham, as they engage
(00:48):
with thought leaders andcommunity change agents to
uncover the rich tapestry ofexperiences that shape our lives
.
Get ready for insightfuldiscussions, unfiltered
perspectives and the celebrationof Black excellence let's talk
about it of.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Black Excellence let's talk about it.
Hey everyone, welcome back tolet's Talk About it the podcast.
I'm your girl, tj, and I'm soexcited to welcome you back for
another episode.
I want to kick off and talkabout a little bit of something
important with my girl, shatima.
Let me introduce her.
(01:23):
Come on in, shatima hey, tj,I'm good hey, so the black age
of society has been getting somequestions regularly, and one of
the top questions is what do wecall black people right?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
is it?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
african-american.
There was a time where we werecalled negroes and colored, and
so, through the evolution, Ithink it's a good space for us
to share, um, what?
What should they call us?
Shatima?
You've got some good insight onthat.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Share it with the people.
We can call me Shatima, um likeit.
So I think this is a questionwe all get, and most probably
black people have received thisquestion.
I think you know let me prefaceit that it's personal to some
and more personal to others, butI have always told people that
(02:14):
African American is ancestors ofslaves, specifically in America
.
Right, so we are.
I am a descendant of slaves andso I am, you know, african
American.
When you use the word black,that is everything, that is all
inclusive of anyone of Africandescent, and so that is really
(02:40):
the definition.
Most people that look like meare comfortable with being
called black.
I always tell people know youraudience.
If you're speaking formally,you need to know your audience.
African American is widelyacceptable, but the
differentiator is AfricanAmericans are descendants of
(03:00):
slaves.
Blacks are descendants ofAfrica, so that's going to
include Haitians, jamaicans, youknow, bermudans, anyone who has
our melanated skin.
So that's usually the barometerI use, but I also preface it
that you're going to get.
You know people who have apreference of being called one
(03:21):
or the other or neither, and soyou really have to just know
your audience.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah, I feel like black is a culture.
You know, it is not a race, anationality, it really is a
culture, and most of us preferto just be called black.
You know, you don't have to becompliant, it is okay, and when
you're talking to me or talkingabout me, to say you know that
black person, so it's not acurse word, be comfortable using
(03:49):
that because it again, it's aculture we relate to.
That.
It connects us all, regardlessof where we came from.
Many of us don't don't know ourroots, you know, and so I might
not feel comfortable with beingcalled African American because
, to Shatima's point, I have noattachment or association to my
(04:10):
roots.
Yet I'm going to Africa inApril, y'all.
So I thought that was veryimportant to share with the
audience because it is a verypopular question, and especially
for our allies.
They're out here supporting usand we know that, and we want to
equip them with the tools sothey can continue to support us
and educate their people.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So we are black, it is okay if you're not sure, you
know you can ask, but also feelcomfortable doing your own
research.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
back during the pandemic I had White Fragility
book by Robin.
I can't think of her last nameright now, but her book blew up
during the George Floyd era.
I gave it out.
I gave it to people and saidread this, so get comfortable
with doing some research too.
So, Shatima, thank you forsharing that yeah no problem.
(05:02):
I think that was good educationfor our audience.
Now I'm excited for you tointroduce our guests.
Who are you introducing us to,girl?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I'm excited as well.
We have Ayana Baker with ustoday.
Welcome to the let's Talk Aboutit podcast.
Ayana is the people supportmanager for SWCA.
She's also the business ownerof New Age Vision, which
specializes in skincare andwaist beats.
She is also the VP of brandingand marketing for the Black HR
(05:30):
Society.
Welcome.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I'm excited to be here, yeah girl, I would like
for you to share with theaudience a little bit about New
Age.
You know Shatima and I arefamiliar with your products, but
I think it's a good space.
Especially here in Arizona, thedry weather, what you offer is
phenomenal, so I need the peopleto know.
So tell us a little bit aboutNew Age products.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Absolutely, and thank you so much.
At New Age, our main focus isproviding natural, healthy
skincare for particularly formelanated skin, but really
anybody can use it to help keepour skin hydrated during all
four well, two seasons here inArizona, right so true, not only
(06:18):
do we have like body butters,but we also have facial serums,
beard oil and hair oil too, justto take care of your skin.
Your skin is really your firstimpression to people when they
see you, so you want to try yourbest to put your best face
forward.
And our products, like I said,they're all natural so you can
use them on your littles to yourelders.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I love that body butter.
It smells so good and a littlebit goes a long way, so I
definitely recommend.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Thank you, Thank you so much.
I'm into the waste beads.
Ayanna knows I'm like tie mybeads, girl, tie my beads.
But I did figure out how to getthem tied.
They actually areaccountability beads.
They do a lot more.
Shatima found out the hard way.
(07:07):
But I use the waste beads tohelp me manage my weight.
You know they will roll up whenyou didn't gain weight and if
they roll down, it shows you'velost.
And so if you're on a healthjourney, um, yes, they are cute,
um, but I think there are alsoa few other benefits and also
aspects.
Shatima wanted, wanted them,and Ayana tell us about the kids
and the bees and the waist.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
So back up, back up.
I'm like I want waist beadsbecause they look cute, they
look fashionable, and waistbeads.
And then I found out that theydo much more than look cute and
so I do not have waist beads.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
But what did you find out?
Don't hold that, Shatima,because you were still one of
them.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Well, what was I told ?
That you have to be carefulwhat you put around your womb,
right?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
So much power and I still have a lot of working
parts down there.
So I will be waiting to getwaist beads.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
We don't need any new blessings.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You weren't opposed to it, which shocked me and
Ayana.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And I said well you better put them bees in the
garbage, because apparently theycan aid in you know getting you
pregnant.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Well, I'm not mind organically that happening.
I just don't need to put thosethings out in the universe and
help Girl, you should mind atthis stage you have adult
children.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Shatima has a child in just about every age group
right now.
I do Shout out to the littles.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I have a 24-year-old, I have a 14-year-old and a
6-year-old, so you know, look.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
I'm open and she's open to a baby.
Put the beads away.
Put the beads away, but I don'twant to help.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I don't need any help with getting them here, put the
beads away.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Shatima TJ was like what is wrong with you?
Yes, because we should belooking to.
You know, be celebratingvacations, and you know they say
.
I heard Jill Scott say in your20s you should be working hard,
in your 30s you should beworking smart and in your 40s
you should be working when youwant to and if you have another
(09:02):
baby.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I mean, I worked to get them.
There was some work put inthere to get them and I'm not
mad at that.
If that's what you know, wegotta do that.
They got aunties.
They got aunties ready to go.
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It takes a village, but I don't need no help I don't
need to just be, you know inseason, so I wanted to talk a
little bit about dating in az.
Um, it's interesting, I'm fromMilwaukee, wisconsin.
Milwaukee is one of the mostsegregated cities in the country
, so it is very saturated withblack people.
So dating is easy.
(09:33):
It's actually too easy.
I think the experience here inAZ has been different.
What are you guys' thoughts andfeels on the dating pool here?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I think it depends on If you're open to dating
different cultures andethnicities, then I think you
can have a lot of fun here in AZ, especially in Phoenix.
But if you are looking more sofor black male or female partner
, you're going to have to bevery intentional with your
(10:08):
efforts to A find thosecommunities where we're at.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Where are those communities?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
You know, I I can't tell you because, uh, I went to
the online streets to find mypartner.
So, um, but yeah, you have tobe intentional, uh, here, and
then also to like right, whatare you looking for?
That even makes the pool alittle bit smaller too.
If you're looking forprofessional black, professional
(10:39):
spiritual, like if you got areally long list here in Phoenix
, it's going to be a challenge.
You're going to have to really,really, really think about
prioritizing what you want wereyou on the online platform long,
not too long no, that'sactually beautiful excited.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I don't know, I get bored on there I had horrible
experiences on the dating apps.
You know, a few years back nowthis was a few years back I had,
you know, one experience.
A guy was like four foot eightand when we went on a date, you
know the table was high, hisfeet didn't touch the floor.
(11:20):
I like a taller man, you knowhe couldn't reach the bread and
I'm like here, you know, and itjust wasn't a good experience.
Another guy didn't really wantto date, he just wanted to keep
coming over let me come over.
Let me come I'm no we need toget to know each other and
eventually decided I want towithdraw my interest.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
And that was a new one for me.
I love that that's soprofessional.
Sign me up.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Because I was about to withdraw my interest as well.
I think, it's a reallydifferent experience here.
And to Ayanna's point, I'venever dated outside of my race.
People are like TJ.
At this stage, at this age,where you are, you have to be
open to that.
I'm trying, I want to be opento dating outside of our race
(12:05):
here, I think too.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
keep in mind where are you going to be celebrated.
If the person is celebrating,you Say that again for the
people in the back, notcelebrating, oh yeah.
Go where you are cherished andcelebrated and that's where
you're going to have a lot offun and you're going to have the
most meaningful relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Yeah, but don't give up hope.
I haven't.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Good and the statistics.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
The reason I actually brought it up is because
statistics show that the mostsuccessful relationships are
black women and white men.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Absolutely and.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I was blown away.
Lowest divorce rate, too Lowestdivorce rate, so those are very
interesting statistics, whichis why I need to be at least
open to the idea.
Yeah, so I'm open at least opento the idea.
Yeah, so I'm open, I'm open.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
So there's some things we have to leave behind,
but there are some things wehave to be open to.
I was telling TJ I had went outa couple weeks ago and um had a
really good time.
We sat at this table andthere's these three guys I had
on heels, my feet were hurting,it was hot and um.
So I went over there and Iasked if we could sit down.
They said yeah, so we'retalking.
The guys look, you're beautiful, we're having something going
(13:15):
on.
And then, about 45 minutes in,I was like are you guys married?
All three of them were married.
All three we're wasting yourtime we're married having fun
all three so then we, they were,they uh, two of them were
visiting from out of state, andso we still stayed there and had
a good time.
But when I was walking to thecar, there was a guy that was
walking by and we were so closethat I just said, you know, I
(13:38):
said hello, so I get in the carand I was with my cousin and I
was taking my heels off, youknow, before I took off and
she's like girl, he's comingback, and I was like, before I
could look in the rearviewmirror he was tapping on the
window, so I rolled the windowdown and all I could think of he
was like somebody who you knowwas part of like the saint
lunatics, like he jumped out ofthe nelly video he had on this
(13:58):
black bomber jacket.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
He had a gold grill in his mouth.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
He had, like I don't know, diamonds coming down his
neck and in my head I'm thinking, are we gonna date the rapper?
Are we gonna do this shit team?
And he's like talking and I'mlike, is this, is this what
we're gonna do?
So I ended up giving him myphone number because he was
really nice and I felt like Iwas like he was right there.
But I was telling TJ I'm like,yeah, I think we're not, we're
(14:22):
not dating, we're not gonna dothat, we're gonna date the
rapper.
My first thought is what?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
age range he was 50.
No, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
He was 50 because I asked he was very cute but he
was probably something that Iwould have like at least engaged
in in maybe my 20s and 30s.
But he looked like we could begoing to like our Nelly like
photo shoot, like I don't knowwhat we were doing here and I
was like, yeah, we're not doingthis.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
You're not at that point to be doing that.
Not, yeah, we're not doing this.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
You're not at that point to be doing that, not even
for fun.
Not even for fun, it would befun.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
It would be more exhausting.
But she sent me the picturesand I was like cracking up,
because the other thing is theysent pictures.
Oh, he sent me a picture.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I didn't even make it to the freeway.
I didn't make it to the freeway, my phone chirped.
I was like is this what we donow?
And I'm like am I supposed tosend my picture?
Because I.
What am I supposed to do withthis?
I sent a picture.
But we he was blocked.
(15:24):
He was blocked by the new year,not blocked.
Yeah, he had to block thembecause it was like can I come
over, let's go chill, send memore pictures.
And I'm like, do they just sendpictures?
Like, is that what we do?
Speaker 4 (15:35):
not, I can't handle it, we're not talking.
I was like I can't date therapper.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Maybe a few years back, maybe before that little
six-year-old came into thepicture but, right, you can't do
the rappers anymore, but I alsohear women are more or less
taking their shots and like yes.
I was kind of taken back bythat, but I think because I've
been in long-term relationshipsmore often than not.
But like, women are takingtheir shots and I'm not opposed
(16:00):
to it.
It just was a new concept thatwe got to try that yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
I think if you're gonna date to out of the black
community, taking your shot isthe way to go, because I think
other men want to date us.
We may be intimidating, or theyare afraid to approach us.
So if you take that shot, Ithink you'll have a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Okay well that's some interesting tips for this year,
especially for those of us whodon't have 5,000 to go on
Talkify.
But, Shatima, let's jump offinto some hot topics.
No, we do not.
Girl, what do you have for ustoday?
Speaker 3 (16:39):
for hot topics.
I have to wait for the Amazonman, because that's who I see
daily, so locally here.
I don't know if everybody'sheard of the Bikini Bean Barista
, the incident that happenedearlier this week, so let me
give you some info.
So here in Arizona there was agentleman, I think he was like
(16:59):
27, 28 years old.
He was driving up to the BikiniBean Barista and, if you have
not been there, the ladies theydeliver your coffee in their
bikinis, makes sense.
It's 100 degrees here all yearround, so they deliver your
coffee in your bikini.
So the incident was, as I heard.
(17:20):
Hooters of bikinis.
It was like a Hooters of.
Starbucks Gotcha so thisgentleman apparently rolled
through the drive-thru linebecause it's not a walk-up, you
can only do drive-thru andwhoever was taking the order I
don't know how she noticed, butshe noticed that he was there
with, like, his pants down.
So she told her manager.
(17:42):
So by the time you get to thewindow, it's actually a door not
a window.
The manager is at the door.
The guy you know drives throughand he's literally in his car
with his pants down, whatappeared to be masturbating.
So she's filmed him and, um,you know, she says you can hear
her in the video saying I'mgonna call the police and he
like skirts off.
And so she uploaded the video.
(18:03):
It went viral, like viral, viral, like over five million hits or
whatnot.
And shortly after the videowent viral, he went back to his
home in Goodyear and he killedhimself from just, I guess, the
embarrassment of it all.
So I was thinking about it, youknow, from a family perspective
(18:24):
.
Apparently he was married, hehad kids, but even from the
employee side, and so thereseems to be like heavy debate on
social media yeah on, was thecompany wrong for uploading the
video?
Um, you know, could this havebeen mitigated?
Is it even a big deal?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
um, so, from what I heard and understood, this
wasn't his first time, okay, andso he was constantly coming
through and the employees havebeen complaining, and so I think
, from an HR perspective, themanager now has to protect the
employee, who then could say youknow, this is a hostile
(19:03):
environment for me, orharassment, or whatever else
they may decide to claim,because this man continues to
come through the drive-thru, andso I think that the manager
recorded him in hopes to deterthe behavior, and so I think it
was an attempt to protect, andso, as your team is saying the
conflict is also the family issaying, yeah, but you didn't
(19:26):
have to post the video, which iswhat caused him to kill himself
.
So it really is interesting,because I think that the
employer is trying to protecttheir, their team and their
employees with an obligation todo something, because what else
could they have done?
Speaker 4 (19:41):
compliance officer right first off.
Extremely unfortunate ending tothis story.
Um, because I think thegentleman definitely needed help
yeah, it was a missedopportunity to get him the
resources that he needed um.
I'm kind of torn because, froma business perspective, right
like everybody, should have apolicy in regards to social
(20:02):
media and posting and if you'rein um in the workplace didn't
even think.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
So if they didn't have anything, that's one thing,
but that would be my concernAlso posting indecent behavior
too.
What are the legalramifications of that?
But in regards to the familyand their response, I don't
(20:29):
necessarily think there'sanything that the store owner
could have done or manager couldhave done to deter that
situation.
When it comes to protectingyour employee Like that,
information could have gottenout either way.
So yeah, that's unfortunate.
I feel for the family, theembarrassment that it must cause
(20:53):
them, but from a manager youhave to protect your employees.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
That risk there because then it puts you at risk
right now you know that this ishappening and there is no you
know you're as an employee,because apparently the manager
hadn't seen it before it wasreported to her.
Um in doing that as well.
So I just thought it was justone of those like odd things
that like really happened, likedid this happen?
(21:20):
This really happened.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
So the important piece for me too is as a small
business owner, you know youneed to understand that an
employee can go and file an EEOCclaim against you and you have
to be able to show that youperformed, that you responded,
that you took some type ofaction.
And I think that was theattempt of that manager, not
(21:45):
necessarily thinking about theperson right, because in their
mind the person is the you knowperpetrator.
You are impeding my business,my employees, and so I think
that they were trying to takesome course of action to protect
the employee.
They never thought that thiscould impact this person you
(22:05):
know, obviously to your point,something was wrong with him and
so, um, I saw the video, I sawhis face when he looked into the
camera and it was like sheer,like, oh my god, like shot in
the way he drove off.
But I don't think they couldhave even thought that.
That absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Do you think she uploaded it to help with
identifying him?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
like, like why upload it oh, I think it's one thing
to take the video and to reportit internally or to give it to
police.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But I just think we're in a.
You know, everybody's phonesare on and it's sometimes the
first thing that we do,Absolutely.
That was the only thing Ithought of like you know, the HR
person in me was like what wasthe intent to post it?
Did you do that in an attemptto identify who this person was,
as opposed to taking the videoand using it as evidence or
collateral for the police orwhatever their internal
(22:59):
procedures are?
I think if there was anopportunity, that would probably
have been just the coaching andthe opportunity of the intent
to putting on there.
I mean, she probably didn'tknow she was going to get 5
million hits on it either, butdefinitely unfortunate how it
ended up for everyone involved.
Just think of theresponsibility of the person who
posted it, absolutely thefamily and everything else.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, I think it was the embarrassment, I think the
deterring.
I'm gonna embarrass you.
You know we think about likewhen you've done something this
bad to somebody I care about, Iwant you to pay you know, and I
think about R.
Kelly, exactly R Kelly for me.
I saw my mom posting about himand I'm like you take that down
you know, he doesn't deserve tobe supported based on what I
(23:44):
know he's done, and so I feellike there was a feeling of I
want them to be held accountablefor what they've done.
So absolutely yeah, interesting.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
So absolutely.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Interesting.
Well, what's our next topic?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Well, next topic.
So Starbucks.
They just finalized thatthey're ending their open door
policy.
So basically, customers mustbuy something in order to use
the bathroom or to sit and hangout in there, so you can no
longer just go and hang out inStarbucks.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
And I feel like.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
To me that's a culture thing Like.
I just feel like that is just.
You know, I work from home withmy business and sometimes I
just go in there just to bearound people and the energy and
like refocus.
But they are saying you, inorder to hang out and use the
restroom, you're going to haveto purchase.
And their attempts was more forlike homelessness and people
(24:36):
that were just coming in thereand, you know, living there, but
it's going to be for all oftheir North American stores.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
So their core?
Why was the homeless peoplekeep coming in and taking
advantage of the space.
Do you think it's disruptive?
Homeless people, Like maybe tothe guests?
Because I agree with you.
You know we all are like ooh,oh, I'm out and about, I got
this meeting let me just pullinto a Starbucks and so I I'm
just trying to.
I thought the closing open doorpolicy was to the employees.
(25:05):
I'm like what does that mean?
You know it's gonna be for thepublic.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Okay, so in their North America and it's gonna be
what I read was it had to thedriver was homelessness and I
think just people just comingand staying there and not
purchasing things, and they alsohad contributed that they're
losing money.
So people, it could be all thecompetition with all of the
other coffee places but, likeStarbucks, is not getting as
much um business as they werebefore, which sounds crazy to
(25:33):
say out loud, but yeah, so Ithink that's just kind of a
culture gonna be a culturechange for a lot of people.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
I always assumed, like every time I go in I buy
something.
I always assumed that, likethen, I could sit here and hang
out, especially after thatincident, when those brothers
were sitting there too long.
I remember they kicked him outand then they shut down
Starbucks to have DE&I trainingyeah, I don't remember that
story.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Was that during the?
Speaker 4 (25:57):
pandemic.
Oh, I can't remember how longago this was, but they had
called the workers, called thepolice on them because allegedly
they were there.
They didn't either buy anythingor it's been a while.
I'm not very strong on thedetails, but so since then it's
kind of always been in my headto purchase something if I'm
going to hang out there.
But one thing I have noticedwith starbucks is their
(26:19):
buildings are smaller.
There's no room to really sitin there anyways, and I think
that goes along with what theywere trying to do.
They're conditioning you.
It's too small to even hang outin here and now here's get out
yeah, yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I, I get it interesting.
I I feel like there's too many,though, like where I live,
there is a starbucks on thirdstreet, there's one on seventh
street, there's one inside thesafeway on second street and so
maybe the loss of business couldassess that y'all mean you know
, at one time, sure, having astarbucks on every corner was
(26:52):
the thing, but as theircompetitors are really coming
into the market, close some ofthese dangling stores.
Yeah, so interesting stuff.
What's our next hot topic,shatima?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
well, the universe has definitely given us hot
topics.
Um, we have the presidentialinauguration coming up soon, so
we're going to have a newadministration.
Um, you know, how are wefeeling about that specifically?
You know, from an hrperspective, like, how are we
helping people adapt in theworkplace?
This was a hard win for a lotof us, and are you guys feeling
(27:26):
any of that in the workplaceleading up to the inauguration?
Speaker 4 (27:31):
A little bit is an understatement, to be honest,
especially being in thediversity, equity and inclusion
space, right?
Not only that, we also hireemployees with visas.
And so that's something that'sbeen up in the air and a lot of
confusion.
So I'm I'm a little nervous.
(27:54):
I don't know what to expect.
They were talking aboutdismantling departments such as
the OFCCP, so I'm concerned.
I'm keeping an eye out andmaking sure that our employees
are protected as much as I canwith the upcoming changes.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Well, coming up to the election, I saw you know the
numbers and how split it was,and so the day of the election
we brought in like meditationfor the team because you know, I
knew a lot of people were goingto have a tough time,
regardless of who won.
Right, if we can be honestabout that.
It didn't matter who won Right,it was such a difficult race and
so we had brought thismeditation in and I just really
(28:44):
wanted them to have a moment tocenter themselves and to really
just think about.
That's not all their livesconsist of, although it's
important.
Um, and the meditation group Ibrought in had these, the team
members, opening up about whythey were struggling, but then
had them really in a good space.
So I thought that was excitingthat, you know, I knew enough,
(29:06):
based on the data coming down inthe HR space, to prepare for
their mental health.
Some of our executives was like, what is this meditation you're
doing?
Why are people crying?
You know, but that's theprivilege, right, they weren't
going to be impacted, and so Ihad to explain there really is a
mental health impact on thiselection with a lot of people.
(29:29):
So personally, I have always,you know, I don't want to get
too down in the weeds aboutpolitics.
I just don't have a lot offaith in politics.
I'm concerned that a felon canbe the president.
Can we now remove that questionoff the application?
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Because if he can be the president, why are we asking
people are they a felon?
To work in McDonald's?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
or to work in customer service.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Let people get a job.
That bothers me that therewasn't and will not be a lot of
accountability for those charges, and what does that say about
us?
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Right, because there are felons with far less, you
know, not 34 counts of them thatwill never be employed because
of that felony.
So I agree from an HRperspective.
I think it's something thatneeds to be looked at.
Um, you know and they did thata couple years ago you know
california started that withthat in the box of not even
(30:25):
asking the criminal chance weremember, when we apply back in
the day, that you had to put allyour criminal stuff on the
application and that's removedin most states.
Um, so yeah, that's a good point.
With applications and so forth,what do you think about?
Auntie won't be at theinauguration.
What's that all about?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I wouldn't either.
No.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
You're not going.
You wouldn't go.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
I wouldn't go, you wouldn't go.
No, and because it's on MartinLuther King Day, I feel like
that is a conflict of interestfor me, do you?
So I won't be watching iteither.
I'm going to take someself-care time on that day and
prepare for the days to come.
(31:14):
But I don't blame her.
What cracks me up is, at theunfortunate funeral of President
Carter, president Carter,watching Harris look back with
an attitude at Barack and DonaldTrump.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Right Kicking it.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
And her energy was my energy.
I was like why are you talkingto him?
Why are you talking to him?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You shouldn't even be sitting by him, right, Right?
Speaker 4 (31:41):
So yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I think that was just Barack being Barack.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
That's what I was going to say he's such a class
act.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, he's such a class act.
Yeah, right, right, so yeah, no, I think that was just barack
being barack.
We just want to know what theysaid.
What were they laughing about,though?
I?
Speaker 4 (31:52):
couldn't even imagine it was nothing.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You know.
Donald ain't got a lot to youknow really contribute, but he
was playing the nice guy and Iagree not here, for she's like
oh, I'm glad y'all didn't sendme by hand.
You know, it would not havegone well.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Well, I thought of all you know, and there's been,
you know, funerals before andthings like that, where all of
the former presidents in there,they all looked like they didn't
want to.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
They all looked uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
You know even the Clintons and know that Roll
behind was Pence and they werejust.
Everybody was just kind ofstiffed.
I'm like this is hilarious.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Well, as we start To wrap.
One thing I want to talk aboutToo, is TikTok and this whole
January 19th, and in my opinion,there's a little Bit of a race.
They're trying to delay thatdecision because what I'm
understanding is that Trump Willallow TikTok to remain in place
(32:47):
if he can get in office beforeall of this happens.
So any thoughts on the TikTokban?
And I actually was excitedbecause I started doing research
and learning about points and Iwas telling Shatima I know, now
I can get on TikTok, I, I'mready and now it may go away,
yeah, so any thoughts on that Idon't have TikTok because I had
(33:08):
to, you know, create someboundaries with me and my social
media.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
So I never got on TikTok.
But I know there has to be achange, because people used to
send me like TikToks and now Ican't even open them since I'm
not on there.
So I don't know, personally I'mkind of indifferent to it just
because I'm not on there.
But I know that the impact it'shad on small businesses as far
as growth and influence.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Access yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Exponential in comparison to, you know,
LinkedIn or Instagram.
So, I know that it's a hugething for a lot of people.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I thought I saw something, though, that Elon
Musk was thinking about thatthey would sell it.
You know he can buy everything,so I thought I saw something
that it might be in play if theysell it to him, sure Okay.
Yeah, maybe I need to create anaccount, just so I won't be out
of the loop before it goes away.
You got a couple days we needto create a ghost account, just
(34:04):
in case we might need it andcan't get in later.
What do you?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
think of compliance.
What do you think this TikTokthing?
Is it going to go away?
Speaker 4 (34:15):
I haven't been following it too closely.
I enjoy TikTok for theentertainment of it, but I
totally agree that it willimpact livelihoods.
There are some people whoreally rely on this and, from a
business perspective, I don'tthink it's a smart decision to
ban any form of, I guess,communication.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Social connectedness?
Absolutely I don't think it'ssmart.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Maybe there needs to be some guide rails added to it,
but I'm not a big fan ofpreventing freedom of speech in
any form.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I was excited to just get on there and be doing my
hair and talking to the peoplebecause I can do that.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
That's what I felt like they were doing.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
This has been a great conversation, Ayanna.
We're so excited that you gotto test drive our new format.
Thank you so much for comingthrough.
Let's talk about it.
Tell the people where they canfind you.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Well, first, thank you for having me.
This was such a good time.
I am on all socials as AyannaBaker, and then you can also
find me at New Age Vision on allsocials or our website,
newagevisionllccom.
All right, well, new age visionon all socials or our website,
new age vision, llccom.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
All right, well, thank you so much.
It's always a good time when wehave you in the building and we
get together.
Um, I am shatima gresham.
I am the ceo for cure talentmanagement group.
It's an hr consulting firm.
I'm also the vp of membershipand professional development
with bhrs.
You can find find PTMG on allof the social websites LinkedIn,
(35:46):
facebook and Instagram, notTikTok not yet.
And if you want any questionsor being part of the show, I can
be found at shatima atwewannatalkaboutitcom.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
All right and we appreciate you for joining us
today.
I am TJ Laurie, also known asTwana Yvonne.
I want to thank our sponsors,the Black HR Society, for making
a meaningful difference in thelives of Black HR professionals
here and across the country.
If you would like to be a gueston the show, a sponsor or you
(36:20):
know someone who would like tobe a guest, you can hit me up,
tj, at wewannatalkaboutitcom,because we do.
We want to talk about it withyou.
We appreciate you joining ustoday and hope to see you back
next time.
Bye-bye, bye.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Thank you for tuning into let's Talk About it the
podcast.
We hope you enjoyed today'sconversation and found
inspiration in the stories andexperiences shared.
We trust that you wereentertained, learned something
new and felt inspired by today'sshow.
Be sure to subscribe, like,follow, share and join us for
(36:57):
the next episode.
Until then, keep theconversation going and let's
keep talking about it.
Welcome to let's Talk About it, the podcast where we
shine a light on the changeagents and everyday heroes who
shape our communities.
Here we dive deep into thelived experiences of our guests,
exploring the milestone momentsthat have either propelled them
forward or changed their paths.
On moments that have eitherpropelled them forward or
changed their paths, we anchorevery conversation in two
(00:26):
foundational pillars of theBlack community books and music.
Through this unique lens, wecapture, entertain and inform,
weaving a rich tapestry ofstories and insights that
resonate, inspire and sparkmeaningful dialogue.
Join our host, tj Lowry andShatima Grisham, as they engage
(00:48):
with thought leaders andcommunity change agents to
uncover the rich tapestry ofexperiences that shape our lives
.
Get ready for insightfuldiscussions, unfiltered
perspectives and the celebrationof Black excellence let's talk
about it of.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Black Excellence let's talk about it.
Hey everyone, welcome back tolet's Talk About it the podcast.
I'm your girl, tj, and I'm soexcited to welcome you back for
another episode.
I want to kick off and talkabout a little bit of something
important with my girl, shatima.
Let me introduce her.
(01:23):
Come on in, shatima hey, tj,I'm good hey, so the black age
of society has been getting somequestions regularly, and one of
the top questions is what do wecall black people right?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
is it?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
african-american.
There was a time where we werecalled negroes and colored, and
so, through the evolution, Ithink it's a good space for us
to share, um, what?
What should they call us?
Shatima?
You've got some good insight onthat.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Share it with the people.
We can call me Shatima, um likeit.
So I think this is a questionwe all get, and most probably
black people have received thisquestion.
I think you know let me prefaceit that it's personal to some
and more personal to others, butI have always told people that
(02:14):
African American is ancestors ofslaves, specifically in America
.
Right, so we are.
I am a descendant of slaves andso I am, you know, african
American.
When you use the word black,that is everything, that is all
inclusive of anyone of Africandescent, and so that is really
(02:40):
the definition.
Most people that look like meare comfortable with being
called black.
I always tell people know youraudience.
If you're speaking formally,you need to know your audience.
African American is widelyacceptable, but the
differentiator is AfricanAmericans are descendants of
(03:00):
slaves.
Blacks are descendants ofAfrica, so that's going to
include Haitians, jamaicans, youknow, bermudans, anyone who has
our melanated skin.
So that's usually the barometerI use, but I also preface it
that you're going to get.
You know people who have apreference of being called one
(03:21):
or the other or neither, and soyou really have to just know
your audience.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah, I feel like black is a culture.
You know, it is not a race, anationality, it really is a
culture, and most of us preferto just be called black.
You know, you don't have to becompliant, it is okay, and when
you're talking to me or talkingabout me, to say you know that
black person, so it's not acurse word, be comfortable using
(03:49):
that because it again, it's aculture we relate to.
That.
It connects us all, regardlessof where we came from.
Many of us don't don't know ourroots, you know, and so I might
not feel comfortable with beingcalled African American because
, to Shatima's point, I have noattachment or association to my
(04:10):
roots.
Yet I'm going to Africa inApril, y'all.
So I thought that was veryimportant to share with the
audience because it is a verypopular question, and especially
for our allies.
They're out here supporting usand we know that, and we want to
equip them with the tools sothey can continue to support us
and educate their people.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
So we are black, it is okay if you're not sure, you
know you can ask, but also feelcomfortable doing your own
research.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
back during the pandemic I had White Fragility
book by Robin.
I can't think of her last nameright now, but her book blew up
during the George Floyd era.
I gave it out.
I gave it to people and saidread this, so get comfortable
with doing some research too.
So, Shatima, thank you forsharing that yeah no problem.
(05:02):
I think that was good educationfor our audience.
Now I'm excited for you tointroduce our guests.
Who are you introducing us to,girl?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I'm excited as well.
We have Ayana Baker with ustoday.
Welcome to the let's Talk Aboutit podcast.
Ayana is the people supportmanager for SWCA.
She's also the business ownerof New Age Vision, which
specializes in skincare andwaist beats.
She is also the VP of brandingand marketing for the Black HR
(05:30):
Society.
Welcome.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I'm excited to be here, yeah girl, I would like
for you to share with theaudience a little bit about New
Age.
You know Shatima and I arefamiliar with your products, but
I think it's a good space.
Especially here in Arizona, thedry weather, what you offer is
phenomenal, so I need the peopleto know.
So tell us a little bit aboutNew Age products.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Absolutely, and thank you so much.
At New Age, our main focus isproviding natural, healthy
skincare for particularly formelanated skin, but really
anybody can use it to help keepour skin hydrated during all
four well, two seasons here inArizona, right so true, not only
(06:18):
do we have like body butters,but we also have facial serums,
beard oil and hair oil too, justto take care of your skin.
Your skin is really your firstimpression to people when they
see you, so you want to try yourbest to put your best face
forward.
And our products, like I said,they're all natural so you can
use them on your littles to yourelders.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I love that body butter.
It smells so good and a littlebit goes a long way, so I
definitely recommend.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Thank you, Thank you so much.
I'm into the waste beads.
Ayanna knows I'm like tie mybeads, girl, tie my beads.
But I did figure out how to getthem tied.
They actually areaccountability beads.
They do a lot more.
Shatima found out the hard way.
(07:07):
But I use the waste beads tohelp me manage my weight.
You know they will roll up whenyou didn't gain weight and if
they roll down, it shows you'velost.
And so if you're on a healthjourney, um, yes, they are cute,
um, but I think there are alsoa few other benefits and also
aspects.
Shatima wanted, wanted them,and Ayana tell us about the kids
and the bees and the waist.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
So back up, back up.
I'm like I want waist beadsbecause they look cute, they
look fashionable, and waistbeads.
And then I found out that theydo much more than look cute and
so I do not have waist beads.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
But what did you find out?
Don't hold that, Shatima,because you were still one of
them.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Well, what was I told ?
That you have to be carefulwhat you put around your womb,
right?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
So much power and I still have a lot of working
parts down there.
So I will be waiting to getwaist beads.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
We don't need any new blessings.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You weren't opposed to it, which shocked me and
Ayana.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
And I said well you better put them bees in the
garbage, because apparently theycan aid in you know getting you
pregnant.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Well, I'm not mind organically that happening.
I just don't need to put thosethings out in the universe and
help Girl, you should mind atthis stage you have adult
children.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Shatima has a child in just about every age group
right now.
I do Shout out to the littles.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I have a 24-year-old, I have a 14-year-old and a
6-year-old, so you know, look.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
I'm open and she's open to a baby.
Put the beads away.
Put the beads away, but I don'twant to help.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I don't need any help with getting them here, put the
beads away.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Shatima TJ was like what is wrong with you?
Yes, because we should belooking to.
You know, be celebratingvacations, and you know they say
.
I heard Jill Scott say in your20s you should be working hard,
in your 30s you should beworking smart and in your 40s
you should be working when youwant to and if you have another
(09:02):
baby.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I mean, I worked to get them.
There was some work put inthere to get them and I'm not
mad at that.
If that's what you know, wegotta do that.
They got aunties.
They got aunties ready to go.
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
It takes a village, but I don't need no help I don't
need to just be, you know inseason, so I wanted to talk a
little bit about dating in az.
Um, it's interesting, I'm fromMilwaukee, wisconsin.
Milwaukee is one of the mostsegregated cities in the country
, so it is very saturated withblack people.
So dating is easy.
(09:33):
It's actually too easy.
I think the experience here inAZ has been different.
What are you guys' thoughts andfeels on the dating pool here?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I think it depends on If you're open to dating
different cultures andethnicities, then I think you
can have a lot of fun here in AZ, especially in Phoenix.
But if you are looking more sofor black male or female partner
, you're going to have to bevery intentional with your
(10:08):
efforts to A find thosecommunities where we're at.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Where are those communities?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
You know, I I can't tell you because, uh, I went to
the online streets to find mypartner.
So, um, but yeah, you have tobe intentional, uh, here, and
then also to like right, whatare you looking for?
That even makes the pool alittle bit smaller too.
If you're looking forprofessional black, professional
(10:39):
spiritual, like if you got areally long list here in Phoenix
, it's going to be a challenge.
You're going to have to really,really, really think about
prioritizing what you want wereyou on the online platform long,
not too long no, that'sactually beautiful excited.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I don't know, I get bored on there I had horrible
experiences on the dating apps.
You know, a few years back nowthis was a few years back I had,
you know, one experience.
A guy was like four foot eightand when we went on a date, you
know the table was high, hisfeet didn't touch the floor.
(11:20):
I like a taller man, you knowhe couldn't reach the bread and
I'm like here, you know, and itjust wasn't a good experience.
Another guy didn't really wantto date, he just wanted to keep
coming over let me come over.
Let me come I'm no we need toget to know each other and
eventually decided I want towithdraw my interest.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
And that was a new one for me.
I love that that's soprofessional.
Sign me up.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Because I was about to withdraw my interest as well.
I think, it's a reallydifferent experience here.
And to Ayanna's point, I'venever dated outside of my race.
People are like TJ.
At this stage, at this age,where you are, you have to be
open to that.
I'm trying, I want to be opento dating outside of our race
(12:05):
here, I think too.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
keep in mind where are you going to be celebrated.
If the person is celebrating,you Say that again for the
people in the back, notcelebrating, oh yeah.
Go where you are cherished andcelebrated and that's where
you're going to have a lot offun and you're going to have the
most meaningful relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Yeah, but don't give up hope.
I haven't.
I'm a hopeless romantic.
Good and the statistics.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
The reason I actually brought it up is because
statistics show that the mostsuccessful relationships are
black women and white men.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Absolutely and.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I was blown away.
Lowest divorce rate, too Lowestdivorce rate, so those are very
interesting statistics, whichis why I need to be at least
open to the idea.
Yeah, so I'm open at least opento the idea.
Yeah, so I'm open, I'm open.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
So there's some things we have to leave behind,
but there are some things wehave to be open to.
I was telling TJ I had went outa couple weeks ago and um had a
really good time.
We sat at this table andthere's these three guys I had
on heels, my feet were hurting,it was hot and um.
So I went over there and Iasked if we could sit down.
They said yeah, so we'retalking.
The guys look, you're beautiful, we're having something going
(13:15):
on.
And then, about 45 minutes in,I was like are you guys married?
All three of them were married.
All three we're wasting yourtime we're married having fun
all three so then we, they were,they uh, two of them were
visiting from out of state, andso we still stayed there and had
a good time.
But when I was walking to thecar, there was a guy that was
walking by and we were so closethat I just said, you know, I
(13:38):
said hello, so I get in the carand I was with my cousin and I
was taking my heels off, youknow, before I took off and
she's like girl, he's comingback, and I was like, before I
could look in the rearviewmirror he was tapping on the
window, so I rolled the windowdown and all I could think of he
was like somebody who you knowwas part of like the saint
lunatics, like he jumped out ofthe nelly video he had on this
(13:58):
black bomber jacket.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
He had a gold grill in his mouth.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
He had, like I don't know, diamonds coming down his
neck and in my head I'm thinking, are we gonna date the rapper?
Are we gonna do this shit team?
And he's like talking and I'mlike, is this, is this what
we're gonna do?
So I ended up giving him myphone number because he was
really nice and I felt like Iwas like he was right there.
But I was telling TJ I'm like,yeah, I think we're not, we're
(14:22):
not dating, we're not gonna dothat, we're gonna date the
rapper.
My first thought is what?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
age range he was 50.
No, ma'am.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
He was 50 because I asked he was very cute but he
was probably something that Iwould have like at least engaged
in in maybe my 20s and 30s.
But he looked like we could begoing to like our Nelly like
photo shoot, like I don't knowwhat we were doing here and I
was like, yeah, we're not doingthis.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
You're not at that point to be doing that.
Not, yeah, we're not doing this.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
You're not at that point to be doing that, not even
for fun.
Not even for fun, it would befun.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
It would be more exhausting.
But she sent me the picturesand I was like cracking up,
because the other thing is theysent pictures.
Oh, he sent me a picture.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
I didn't even make it to the freeway.
I didn't make it to the freeway, my phone chirped.
I was like is this what we donow?
And I'm like am I supposed tosend my picture?
Because I.
What am I supposed to do withthis?
I sent a picture.
But we he was blocked.
(15:24):
He was blocked by the new year,not blocked.
Yeah, he had to block thembecause it was like can I come
over, let's go chill, send memore pictures.
And I'm like, do they just sendpictures?
Like, is that what we do?
Speaker 4 (15:35):
not, I can't handle it, we're not talking.
I was like I can't date therapper.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Maybe a few years back, maybe before that little
six-year-old came into thepicture but, right, you can't do
the rappers anymore, but I alsohear women are more or less
taking their shots and like yes.
I was kind of taken back bythat, but I think because I've
been in long-term relationshipsmore often than not.
But like, women are takingtheir shots and I'm not opposed
(16:00):
to it.
It just was a new concept thatwe got to try that yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
I think if you're gonna date to out of the black
community, taking your shot isthe way to go, because I think
other men want to date us.
We may be intimidating, or theyare afraid to approach us.
So if you take that shot, Ithink you'll have a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Okay well that's some interesting tips for this year,
especially for those of us whodon't have 5,000 to go on
Talkify.
But, Shatima, let's jump offinto some hot topics.
No, we do not.
Girl, what do you have for ustoday?
Speaker 3 (16:39):
for hot topics.
I have to wait for the Amazonman, because that's who I see
daily, so locally here.
I don't know if everybody'sheard of the Bikini Bean Barista
, the incident that happenedearlier this week, so let me
give you some info.
So here in Arizona there was agentleman, I think he was like
(16:59):
27, 28 years old.
He was driving up to the BikiniBean Barista and, if you have
not been there, the ladies theydeliver your coffee in their
bikinis, makes sense.
It's 100 degrees here all yearround, so they deliver your
coffee in your bikini.
So the incident was, as I heard.
(17:20):
Hooters of bikinis.
It was like a Hooters of.
Starbucks Gotcha so thisgentleman apparently rolled
through the drive-thru linebecause it's not a walk-up, you
can only do drive-thru andwhoever was taking the order I
don't know how she noticed, butshe noticed that he was there
with, like, his pants down.
So she told her manager.
(17:42):
So by the time you get to thewindow, it's actually a door not
a window.
The manager is at the door.
The guy you know drives throughand he's literally in his car
with his pants down, whatappeared to be masturbating.
So she's filmed him and, um,you know, she says you can hear
her in the video saying I'mgonna call the police and he
like skirts off.
And so she uploaded the video.
(18:03):
It went viral, like viral, viral, like over five million hits or
whatnot.
And shortly after the videowent viral, he went back to his
home in Goodyear and he killedhimself from just, I guess, the
embarrassment of it all.
So I was thinking about it, youknow, from a family perspective
(18:24):
.
Apparently he was married, hehad kids, but even from the
employee side, and so thereseems to be like heavy debate on
social media yeah on, was thecompany wrong for uploading the
video?
Um, you know, could this havebeen mitigated?
Is it even a big deal?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
um, so, from what I heard and understood, this
wasn't his first time, okay, andso he was constantly coming
through and the employees havebeen complaining, and so I think
, from an HR perspective, themanager now has to protect the
employee, who then could say youknow, this is a hostile
(19:03):
environment for me, orharassment, or whatever else
they may decide to claim,because this man continues to
come through the drive-thru, andso I think that the manager
recorded him in hopes to deterthe behavior, and so I think it
was an attempt to protect, andso, as your team is saying the
conflict is also the family issaying, yeah, but you didn't
(19:26):
have to post the video, which iswhat caused him to kill himself
.
So it really is interesting,because I think that the
employer is trying to protecttheir, their team and their
employees with an obligation todo something, because what else
could they have done?
Speaker 4 (19:41):
compliance officer right first off.
Extremely unfortunate ending tothis story.
Um, because I think thegentleman definitely needed help
yeah, it was a missedopportunity to get him the
resources that he needed um.
I'm kind of torn because, froma business perspective, right
like everybody, should have apolicy in regards to social
(20:02):
media and posting and if you'rein um in the workplace didn't
even think.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
So if they didn't have anything, that's one thing,
but that would be my concernAlso posting indecent behavior
too.
What are the legalramifications of that?
But in regards to the familyand their response, I don't
(20:29):
necessarily think there'sanything that the store owner
could have done or manager couldhave done to deter that
situation.
When it comes to protectingyour employee Like that,
information could have gottenout either way.
So yeah, that's unfortunate.
I feel for the family, theembarrassment that it must cause
(20:53):
them, but from a manager youhave to protect your employees.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
That risk there because then it puts you at risk
right now you know that this ishappening and there is no you
know you're as an employee,because apparently the manager
hadn't seen it before it wasreported to her.
Um in doing that as well.
So I just thought it was justone of those like odd things
that like really happened, likedid this happen?
(21:20):
This really happened.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
So the important piece for me too is as a small
business owner, you know youneed to understand that an
employee can go and file an EEOCclaim against you and you have
to be able to show that youperformed, that you responded,
that you took some type ofaction.
And I think that was theattempt of that manager, not
(21:45):
necessarily thinking about theperson right, because in their
mind the person is the you knowperpetrator.
You are impeding my business,my employees, and so I think
that they were trying to takesome course of action to protect
the employee.
They never thought that thiscould impact this person you
(22:05):
know, obviously to your point,something was wrong with him and
so, um, I saw the video, I sawhis face when he looked into the
camera and it was like sheer,like, oh my god, like shot in
the way he drove off.
But I don't think they couldhave even thought that.
That absolutely not.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Do you think she uploaded it to help with
identifying him?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
like, like why upload it oh, I think it's one thing
to take the video and to reportit internally or to give it to
police.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But I just think we're in a.
You know, everybody's phonesare on and it's sometimes the
first thing that we do,Absolutely.
That was the only thing Ithought of like you know, the HR
person in me was like what wasthe intent to post it?
Did you do that in an attemptto identify who this person was,
as opposed to taking the videoand using it as evidence or
collateral for the police orwhatever their internal
(22:59):
procedures are?
I think if there was anopportunity, that would probably
have been just the coaching andthe opportunity of the intent
to putting on there.
I mean, she probably didn'tknow she was going to get 5
million hits on it either, butdefinitely unfortunate how it
ended up for everyone involved.
Just think of theresponsibility of the person who
posted it, absolutely thefamily and everything else.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, I think it was the embarrassment, I think the
deterring.
I'm gonna embarrass you.
You know we think about likewhen you've done something this
bad to somebody I care about, Iwant you to pay you know, and I
think about R.
Kelly, exactly R Kelly for me.
I saw my mom posting about himand I'm like you take that down
you know, he doesn't deserve tobe supported based on what I
(23:44):
know he's done, and so I feellike there was a feeling of I
want them to be held accountablefor what they've done.
So absolutely yeah, interesting.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
So absolutely.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Interesting.
Well, what's our next topic?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Well, next topic.
So Starbucks.
They just finalized thatthey're ending their open door
policy.
So basically, customers mustbuy something in order to use
the bathroom or to sit and hangout in there, so you can no
longer just go and hang out inStarbucks.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
And I feel like.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
To me that's a culture thing Like.
I just feel like that is just.
You know, I work from home withmy business and sometimes I
just go in there just to bearound people and the energy and
like refocus.
But they are saying you, inorder to hang out and use the
restroom, you're going to haveto purchase.
And their attempts was more forlike homelessness and people
(24:36):
that were just coming in thereand, you know, living there, but
it's going to be for all oftheir North American stores.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
So their core?
Why was the homeless peoplekeep coming in and taking
advantage of the space.
Do you think it's disruptive?
Homeless people, Like maybe tothe guests?
Because I agree with you.
You know we all are like ooh,oh, I'm out and about, I got
this meeting let me just pullinto a Starbucks and so I I'm
just trying to.
I thought the closing open doorpolicy was to the employees.
(25:05):
I'm like what does that mean?
You know it's gonna be for thepublic.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Okay, so in their North America and it's gonna be
what I read was it had to thedriver was homelessness and I
think just people just comingand staying there and not
purchasing things, and they alsohad contributed that they're
losing money.
So people, it could be all thecompetition with all of the
other coffee places but, likeStarbucks, is not getting as
much um business as they werebefore, which sounds crazy to
(25:33):
say out loud, but yeah, so Ithink that's just kind of a
culture gonna be a culturechange for a lot of people.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
I always assumed, like every time I go in I buy
something.
I always assumed that, likethen, I could sit here and hang
out, especially after thatincident, when those brothers
were sitting there too long.
I remember they kicked him outand then they shut down
Starbucks to have DE&I trainingyeah, I don't remember that
story.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Was that during the?
Speaker 4 (25:57):
pandemic.
Oh, I can't remember how longago this was, but they had
called the workers, called thepolice on them because allegedly
they were there.
They didn't either buy anythingor it's been a while.
I'm not very strong on thedetails, but so since then it's
kind of always been in my headto purchase something if I'm
going to hang out there.
But one thing I have noticedwith starbucks is their
(26:19):
buildings are smaller.
There's no room to really sitin there anyways, and I think
that goes along with what theywere trying to do.
They're conditioning you.
It's too small to even hang outin here and now here's get out
yeah, yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I, I get it interesting.
I I feel like there's too many,though, like where I live,
there is a starbucks on thirdstreet, there's one on seventh
street, there's one inside thesafeway on second street and so
maybe the loss of business couldassess that y'all mean you know
, at one time, sure, having astarbucks on every corner was
(26:52):
the thing, but as theircompetitors are really coming
into the market, close some ofthese dangling stores.
Yeah, so interesting stuff.
What's our next hot topic,shatima?
Speaker 3 (27:03):
well, the universe has definitely given us hot
topics.
Um, we have the presidentialinauguration coming up soon, so
we're going to have a newadministration.
Um, you know, how are wefeeling about that specifically?
You know, from an hrperspective, like, how are we
helping people adapt in theworkplace?
This was a hard win for a lotof us, and are you guys feeling
(27:26):
any of that in the workplaceleading up to the inauguration?
Speaker 4 (27:31):
A little bit is an understatement, to be honest,
especially being in thediversity, equity and inclusion
space, right?
Not only that, we also hireemployees with visas.
And so that's something that'sbeen up in the air and a lot of
confusion.
So I'm I'm a little nervous.
(27:54):
I don't know what to expect.
They were talking aboutdismantling departments such as
the OFCCP, so I'm concerned.
I'm keeping an eye out andmaking sure that our employees
are protected as much as I canwith the upcoming changes.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Well, coming up to the election, I saw you know the
numbers and how split it was,and so the day of the election
we brought in like meditationfor the team because you know, I
knew a lot of people were goingto have a tough time,
regardless of who won.
Right, if we can be honestabout that.
It didn't matter who won Right,it was such a difficult race and
so we had brought thismeditation in and I just really
(28:44):
wanted them to have a moment tocenter themselves and to really
just think about.
That's not all their livesconsist of, although it's
important.
Um, and the meditation group Ibrought in had these, the team
members, opening up about whythey were struggling, but then
had them really in a good space.
So I thought that was excitingthat, you know, I knew enough,
(29:06):
based on the data coming down inthe HR space, to prepare for
their mental health.
Some of our executives was like, what is this meditation you're
doing?
Why are people crying?
You know, but that's theprivilege, right, they weren't
going to be impacted, and so Ihad to explain there really is a
mental health impact on thiselection with a lot of people.
(29:29):
So personally, I have always,you know, I don't want to get
too down in the weeds aboutpolitics.
I just don't have a lot offaith in politics.
I'm concerned that a felon canbe the president.
Can we now remove that questionoff the application?
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Because if he can be the president, why are we asking
people are they a felon?
To work in McDonald's?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
or to work in customer service.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Let people get a job.
That bothers me that therewasn't and will not be a lot of
accountability for those charges, and what does that say about
us?
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Right, because there are felons with far less, you
know, not 34 counts of them thatwill never be employed because
of that felony.
So I agree from an HRperspective.
I think it's something thatneeds to be looked at.
Um, you know and they did thata couple years ago you know
california started that withthat in the box of not even
(30:25):
asking the criminal chance weremember, when we apply back in
the day, that you had to put allyour criminal stuff on the
application and that's removedin most states.
Um, so yeah, that's a good point.
With applications and so forth,what do you think about?
Auntie won't be at theinauguration.
What's that all about?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I wouldn't either.
No.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
You're not going.
You wouldn't go.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
I wouldn't go, you wouldn't go.
No, and because it's on MartinLuther King Day, I feel like
that is a conflict of interestfor me, do you?
So I won't be watching iteither.
I'm going to take someself-care time on that day and
prepare for the days to come.
(31:14):
But I don't blame her.
What cracks me up is, at theunfortunate funeral of President
Carter, president Carter,watching Harris look back with
an attitude at Barack and DonaldTrump.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Right Kicking it.
Speaker 4 (31:33):
And her energy was my energy.
I was like why are you talkingto him?
Why are you talking to him?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
You shouldn't even be sitting by him, right, Right?
Speaker 4 (31:41):
So yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I think that was just Barack being Barack.
Speaker 4 (31:44):
That's what I was going to say he's such a class
act.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Yeah, he's such a class act.
Yeah, right, right, so yeah, no, I think that was just barack
being barack.
We just want to know what theysaid.
What were they laughing about,though?
I?
Speaker 4 (31:52):
couldn't even imagine it was nothing.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You know.
Donald ain't got a lot to youknow really contribute, but he
was playing the nice guy and Iagree not here, for she's like
oh, I'm glad y'all didn't sendme by hand.
You know, it would not havegone well.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Well, I thought of all you know, and there's been,
you know, funerals before andthings like that, where all of
the former presidents in there,they all looked like they didn't
want to.
Speaker 4 (32:17):
They all looked uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
You know even the Clintons and know that Roll
behind was Pence and they werejust.
Everybody was just kind ofstiffed.
I'm like this is hilarious.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Well, as we start To wrap.
One thing I want to talk aboutToo, is TikTok and this whole
January 19th, and in my opinion,there's a little Bit of a race.
They're trying to delay thatdecision because what I'm
understanding is that Trump Willallow TikTok to remain in place
(32:47):
if he can get in office beforeall of this happens.
So any thoughts on the TikTokban?
And I actually was excitedbecause I started doing research
and learning about points and Iwas telling Shatima I know, now
I can get on TikTok, I, I'mready and now it may go away,
yeah, so any thoughts on that Idon't have TikTok because I had
(33:08):
to, you know, create someboundaries with me and my social
media.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
So I never got on TikTok.
But I know there has to be achange, because people used to
send me like TikToks and now Ican't even open them since I'm
not on there.
So I don't know, personally I'mkind of indifferent to it just
because I'm not on there.
But I know that the impact it'shad on small businesses as far
as growth and influence.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Access yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Exponential in comparison to, you know,
LinkedIn or Instagram.
So, I know that it's a hugething for a lot of people.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I thought I saw something, though, that Elon
Musk was thinking about thatthey would sell it.
You know he can buy everything,so I thought I saw something
that it might be in play if theysell it to him, sure Okay.
Yeah, maybe I need to create anaccount, just so I won't be out
of the loop before it goes away.
You got a couple days we needto create a ghost account, just
(34:04):
in case we might need it andcan't get in later.
What do you?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
think of compliance.
What do you think this TikTokthing?
Is it going to go away?
Speaker 4 (34:15):
I haven't been following it too closely.
I enjoy TikTok for theentertainment of it, but I
totally agree that it willimpact livelihoods.
There are some people whoreally rely on this and, from a
business perspective, I don'tthink it's a smart decision to
ban any form of, I guess,communication.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Social connectedness?
Absolutely I don't think it'ssmart.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Maybe there needs to be some guide rails added to it,
but I'm not a big fan ofpreventing freedom of speech in
any form.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I was excited to just get on there and be doing my
hair and talking to the peoplebecause I can do that.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
That's what I felt like they were doing.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
This has been a great conversation, Ayanna.
We're so excited that you gotto test drive our new format.
Thank you so much for comingthrough.
Let's talk about it.
Tell the people where they canfind you.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Well, first, thank you for having me.
This was such a good time.
I am on all socials as AyannaBaker, and then you can also
find me at New Age Vision on allsocials or our website,
newagevisionllccom.
All right, well, new age visionon all socials or our website,
new age vision, llccom.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
All right, well, thank you so much.
It's always a good time when wehave you in the building and we
get together.
Um, I am shatima gresham.
I am the ceo for cure talentmanagement group.
It's an hr consulting firm.
I'm also the vp of membershipand professional development
with bhrs.
You can find find PTMG on allof the social websites LinkedIn,
(35:46):
facebook and Instagram, notTikTok not yet.
And if you want any questionsor being part of the show, I can
be found at shatima atwewannatalkaboutitcom.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
All right and we appreciate you for joining us
today.
I am TJ Laurie, also known asTwana Yvonne.
I want to thank our sponsors,the Black HR Society, for making
a meaningful difference in thelives of Black HR professionals
here and across the country.
If you would like to be a gueston the show, a sponsor or you
(36:20):
know someone who would like tobe a guest, you can hit me up,
tj, at wewannatalkaboutitcom,because we do.
We want to talk about it withyou.
We appreciate you joining ustoday and hope to see you back
next time.
Bye-bye, bye.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Thank you for tuning into let's Talk About it the
podcast.
We hope you enjoyed today'sconversation and found
inspiration in the stories andexperiences shared.
We trust that you wereentertained, learned something
new and felt inspired by today'sshow.
Be sure to subscribe, like,follow, share and join us for
(36:57):
the next episode.
Until then, keep theconversation going and let's
keep talking about it.
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